WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.560
In order to be successful, you have to be able to communicate your ideas who you are and your

2
00:00:04.560 --> 00:00:09.200
point of view. And so I use three steps in every communication that can be used for getting

3
00:00:09.200 --> 00:00:12.800
a promotion, laying people off, it could be used to persuading you to signifying another.

4
00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:15.280
Where are you going to go to dinner that night? And it allowed me to go from

5
00:00:15.280 --> 00:00:19.920
being in a room where I couldn't have a conversation with people and crippled with anxiety and fear

6
00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:24.800
to co-founding two nine-figure businesses, helping over 15,000 business owners scale their

7
00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:29.680
organizations as well as helping people impact the strategies that the top one percent of people

8
00:00:29.680 --> 00:00:34.480
use to gain wealth and success that are different than 99% of people who can't create the wealth

9
00:00:34.480 --> 00:00:38.960
that they've always wanted, like they prioritize being respected over being liked. Where else do

10
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:44.160
people get wrong here? Well, ultimately this comes down to the character of the person. If the person

11
00:00:44.160 --> 00:00:49.680
isn't somebody who wants to win, he doesn't sacrifice, you cannot get to where you want to go.

12
00:00:49.680 --> 00:00:53.760
Now of course you could try to hack success, but if you did it by putting in the effort,

13
00:00:53.760 --> 00:00:58.240
you don't have this anxiety that it's all going to come crashing down because you know that you

14
00:00:58.240 --> 00:01:03.360
could redo it and it's never burnt out inducing that's a misconception about hard work. You're not

15
00:01:03.360 --> 00:01:07.120
a candle, you can't burn out. We're about a passive income because the idea that you can make

16
00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:10.720
income and do all this unbelievably compelling. Well, before you have a million dollars,

17
00:01:10.720 --> 00:01:14.720
don't even think about passive income. Instead, use your calendar as a representation of what

18
00:01:14.720 --> 00:01:18.320
you find to be important, with the goals that you have every single day. But if someone at home

19
00:01:18.320 --> 00:01:22.080
isn't quite clear on their goals, what should they be doing? I have a three-step methodology for

20
00:01:22.080 --> 00:01:27.600
goal setting that I have rolled out to thousands of people and it's called PPF and it's transformed

21
00:01:27.600 --> 00:01:34.160
my life. So the first is... Just give me 30 seconds of your time. Two things I wanted to say. The

22
00:01:34.160 --> 00:01:38.640
first thing is a huge thank you for listening and tuning into the show week after week.

23
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:42.640
Means the world to all of us and this really is a dream that we absolutely never had and couldn't

24
00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:47.280
have imagined getting to this place. But secondly, it's a dream where we feel like we're only just

25
00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:52.880
getting started. And if you enjoy what we do here, please join the 24% of people that listen to

26
00:01:52.880 --> 00:01:58.080
this podcast regularly and follow us on this app. Here's a promise I'm going to make to you.

27
00:01:58.080 --> 00:02:03.600
I'm going to do everything in my power to make this show as good as I can now and into the future.

28
00:02:03.600 --> 00:02:07.040
We're going to deliver the guests that you want me to speak to and we're going to continue to

29
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:10.640
keep doing all of the things you love about this show. Thank you.

30
00:02:10.640 --> 00:02:19.840
Natalie, for my viewers that have just clicked on this conversation, what is the reason that you

31
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:23.120
think it's important for them to stay and listen to what we're going to talk about today and all

32
00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:30.080
of the things that you've spent your career understanding? If you are somebody who has really

33
00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:36.080
struggled with working hard and putting in the effort and the energy but you don't actually have

34
00:02:36.720 --> 00:02:44.880
wealth to show for it, this conversation is important because wealth should come from hard work

35
00:02:44.880 --> 00:02:49.920
on the right set of problems. And so you have to ask yourself the question, what problems do I work on

36
00:02:49.920 --> 00:02:54.160
every single day? And whether you're a team member and an organization, whether you're a leader

37
00:02:54.160 --> 00:02:59.520
and an organization, a business owner and an organization, you should be able to objectively

38
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:07.040
point at my work here, generated this result. And so if I'm upset with this result, meaning I

39
00:03:07.040 --> 00:03:11.760
haven't made the wealth, I haven't created the income that I want, it would make sense that where

40
00:03:11.760 --> 00:03:16.640
you're spending your time and the problems that you're solving are not tied to your actual goal

41
00:03:16.640 --> 00:03:23.280
of increasing your wealth. And when it comes to wealth, I do think that we are in a wealth crisis

42
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:28.960
across the globe. I think that there is so much confusion and misunderstanding about financial

43
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:33.200
literacy and what's actually happening with who is making money, how they're making money,

44
00:03:33.200 --> 00:03:39.760
what they're spending their time on. And so this conversation, I'm very much looking forward to unpacking

45
00:03:39.760 --> 00:03:47.360
what are the strategies that people use the 1% for their time, for their investments, for their

46
00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:54.640
skills, for their mindset that are just different than 99% of people who can't seem to get ahead and

47
00:03:54.640 --> 00:04:00.160
create the wealth that they've always wanted. And so as you sit here now, what is your business,

48
00:04:00.160 --> 00:04:06.240
what's the scale of the business, and what does it do? Yeah, over the last six years, I co-founded

49
00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:13.360
two businesses that are both nine figures today. One is a management consulting investment firm,

50
00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:18.240
it's called Cardone Ventures, and we help small business owners grow and scale their organizations.

51
00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:23.840
So I work with business owners on a daily basis who will be doing $3 million in annual revenue.

52
00:04:23.840 --> 00:04:30.080
They want to know how do I become one of the fewer that is able to have a $5 million

53
00:04:30.080 --> 00:04:33.840
of your business or $10 million of your business because they really realize that $3 million

54
00:04:33.840 --> 00:04:40.000
a year doesn't actually create financial security. And that business was started in 2019.

55
00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:46.880
And then our second business, Tenex Health, we purchased a health business back in 2023.

56
00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:53.040
And today is helping people all over the world and it's a nine figure business.

57
00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:56.400
So you're on that first business. How many business owners have you worked with?

58
00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:00.960
Total business owners that have come through our programs would be over 15,000.

59
00:05:01.440 --> 00:05:06.000
What are the range of things you're helping them with? Great question. So there's education,

60
00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:11.680
there's consulting, there's services, and there's investing. So think of us like the McKinsey

61
00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:16.800
for small businesses. We reverse engineer their current market, what they're doing, what their

62
00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:22.240
product services offerings are. And we give back to them either in the form of actual services,

63
00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:25.520
where we will do their marketing for them. We will recruit people for them. We will do their

64
00:05:25.520 --> 00:05:30.880
bookkeeping for them. But then we also have a massive events component of our business where we

65
00:05:30.880 --> 00:05:35.520
train business owners on how to hire, how to recruit themselves. So they don't need to hire us

66
00:05:35.520 --> 00:05:40.480
to do it. I actually prefer it when people don't hire us to do this because I think it's so important

67
00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:46.800
for business owners and the leaders inside those teams to actually get the competence in that skill.

68
00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:52.720
So if you use, yeah, of hiring or their books, if business owners don't understand how to

69
00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:57.760
read a P&L and the importance of a balance sheet, they're always going to abdicate that work

70
00:05:57.760 --> 00:06:03.600
to somebody else. And at some point, that is not going to work for them any longer because I don't

71
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:08.480
actually know what that skill is. So I'm trusting that Stephen can come into my business.

72
00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:11.920
Stephen seems great. I know him from church. I'm just going to let Stephen do this,

73
00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:16.000
but I don't know that Stephen only knows how to do this to a $3 million business. And I need it to

74
00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:20.480
be a $10 million business. There's no education system that exists for business owners to help

75
00:06:20.480 --> 00:06:28.640
them identify that today. So it was the 2019 you started this business. So if I jumped back to 2019,

76
00:06:29.760 --> 00:06:33.600
what is the difference, like fundamental difference in the principles of how to be successful

77
00:06:33.600 --> 00:06:39.120
in business that you know now that you wouldn't have known then? Like what are the glaring principles?

78
00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:43.360
I often think that like the further you go down any path, it becomes more and more clear what

79
00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:48.480
they're like fundamental rules of the gamer. And at the very beginning, those are just hypotheses.

80
00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:52.560
So what are the like the fundamental things you've learned about? What differentiates those 15,000

81
00:06:52.560 --> 00:06:58.080
people that you've interfaced with out of business owners and make some of them successful and

82
00:06:58.080 --> 00:07:04.480
the others unsuccessful? I ultimately think that this comes down to the character of the person that

83
00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:10.000
is doing the business because if you look at people that you can partner with in business,

84
00:07:10.960 --> 00:07:15.840
it is incredibly challenging to make something truly successful.

85
00:07:16.640 --> 00:07:21.200
Even if it's the best business model in the world, you figured out marketing, you figured out

86
00:07:21.200 --> 00:07:27.280
operations, you can scale it if the person is a piece of shit. And if the person is not somebody

87
00:07:27.280 --> 00:07:33.200
who is ethical and is somebody who's compliant and isn't somebody who wants to win, to me,

88
00:07:33.200 --> 00:07:38.080
those three things go hand in hand because to me, it doesn't matter what the business model is.

89
00:07:38.080 --> 00:07:41.360
You can give me a roofing business, you can give me an HVAC business, you can give me a wellness

90
00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:48.560
company, a marketing agency. The principles that I thought to be true, many of them have held true

91
00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:56.080
over the last six years since 2019. Many of them are still very applicable around standard practices

92
00:07:56.080 --> 00:08:02.640
for accounting and how you recruit people. Certain tips and tools help with different platforms

93
00:08:02.640 --> 00:08:05.760
that you can use for these things. But for the most part, those things actually haven't changed,

94
00:08:05.760 --> 00:08:11.440
but what I've learned painfully over the last six years is everything is about the people

95
00:08:11.440 --> 00:08:16.400
that you do business with and the partners that you choose and the people that you allow in your

96
00:08:16.400 --> 00:08:21.200
inner circle. And so that is the case for your own business, but that's also the case for the

97
00:08:21.200 --> 00:08:27.120
businesses that we help. And I can watch the most incredible business owner come into our organization.

98
00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:32.960
She's wanting to win. She's excited about what the future can look like. She's going to take

99
00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:37.200
all of the notes and actually go home and implement those things. But if she has somebody in her life,

100
00:08:37.760 --> 00:08:42.720
say it's a spouse, say it's a kid, worse yet, it's an employee that she's paying to help her,

101
00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:47.760
like that's the irony. You pay people to help you. And yet when they're actually on your team,

102
00:08:47.760 --> 00:08:52.320
they do things that detract from your ability to achieve your goals and to reach your potential.

103
00:08:53.040 --> 00:08:56.960
That's where I find it doesn't matter what the business model is, doesn't matter. You can give

104
00:08:56.960 --> 00:09:01.440
all of the books, all of the training, the full playbook to somebody. They're going to fail because

105
00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:05.200
either they aren't that person or they've surrounded themselves inside their business with

106
00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:11.120
people who will just be stops to them and continually stop their ability to grow and to reach for more,

107
00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:14.480
reducing that person's confidence in themselves and their business stays stuck.

108
00:09:15.040 --> 00:09:19.680
If people are the most important thing for long-term success and for business,

109
00:09:19.680 --> 00:09:24.400
what are you looking for in people? What makes someone an A player in your view? And how do you

110
00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:30.720
how do you fill to them out? Because a lot of people go off their vibes and if I've learned anything

111
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:35.280
over the last 10 years is that we're all riddled with our own biases and insecurities so we end up

112
00:09:35.280 --> 00:09:40.080
aiming in a certain direction whether that's for better or for worse. So what's your process

113
00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:46.240
of finding exceptional people? I use a three-step interview process. So the three steps for me is

114
00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:51.680
first a cultural interview. I want to understand more so than me trying to get into the technicalities

115
00:09:51.680 --> 00:09:58.960
of can they do the work. Are they aligned with our organization? Are they goal-oriented? The best

116
00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:05.280
question that you can ask somebody inside of business before you hire them? What are their five

117
00:10:05.280 --> 00:10:11.440
your goals? And actually get a real answer. I don't really care what skills and experiences you have

118
00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:16.560
if you don't have goals you're on a hiring you. You're not allowed to be inside this environment

119
00:10:16.560 --> 00:10:22.080
because it's demoralizing for every other person who is here to help achieve their goals,

120
00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:27.520
the organization's goals, and hopefully the goals of the end customer, client, patient for whatever

121
00:10:27.600 --> 00:10:33.520
type of business. So that first interview really being the cultural grounding point is of the

122
00:10:33.520 --> 00:10:38.640
utmost importance. And then I move straight into a technical interview where I want to get the person

123
00:10:38.640 --> 00:10:43.040
as close to the work as possible. So if you're going to be a salesperson I want to see you make

124
00:10:43.040 --> 00:10:47.600
a sales call. I'm going to give you a list of 50 people to call. I want to listen to you call

125
00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:54.240
those people. If you are a graphic designer and our organization we do not do briefs. We are not

126
00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:58.400
the type of people that are going to say you get all of this time to be able to think through this

127
00:10:58.400 --> 00:11:02.640
whole process and this whole journey and you were going to give you two weeks to do this.

128
00:11:02.640 --> 00:11:08.880
For us we are turning content constantly because that's the world that we live in for the amount

129
00:11:08.880 --> 00:11:14.000
of ads that need to be created presentation decks. It can't take a bunch of time. And so if the person

130
00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:18.960
when I do a case study interview and I have them actually make a presentation in front of me says

131
00:11:19.040 --> 00:11:25.200
that they need two days to think about this and they can't assemble some form of a presentation

132
00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:30.000
or a graphic for an ad. They don't know how to use Adobe or Canver or whatever this platform is.

133
00:11:30.800 --> 00:11:34.160
I can't really hire the person because I know that they don't have that skill.

134
00:11:34.960 --> 00:11:41.520
And then the final one is a core values interview. And for me our team's ability to demonstrate

135
00:11:41.520 --> 00:11:46.640
ahead of time ahead of joining the organization that they actually understand and our

136
00:11:46.640 --> 00:11:51.920
in alignment with our core values is essential. How do you test someone's core values?

137
00:11:51.920 --> 00:11:58.240
Well, I ask them to give me times where they have exemplified the core values that we have

138
00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:03.440
and they present it to our leadership team. For the first 100 team members at Cardone Ventures,

139
00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:08.480
I listen to every single core values presentation. The person can't demonstrate and actually say,

140
00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:13.440
oh, I was able to generate x amount of leads and convert them at y percentage. They probably don't

141
00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:17.680
know what they're talking about and they're going to have a really hard time in the environment and

142
00:12:17.680 --> 00:12:22.160
I do believe that this is the business owner's responsibility. You have to own your culture and your

143
00:12:22.160 --> 00:12:27.440
environment. And if you don't and just think that anybody that can come in is going to actually

144
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:31.600
live by what you want to create, you're going to be very quickly mistaken because they're going to

145
00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:36.000
create their own environment inside yours and then you've lost control. You talked about

146
00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:41.760
goal setting being an imperative when you're meeting people. What is your framework for goal setting?

147
00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:45.520
If someone at home isn't quite clear on their goals, what should they be doing?

148
00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:51.520
I have a three step methodology for goal setting that I have rolled out to thousands of people

149
00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:59.360
and this three step framework has really transformed my life because it allows me to create buckets

150
00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:05.200
for goals. And the process is called personal goals, professional goals, and financial goals.

151
00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:10.720
And after having over a thousand of these conversations, personally, where I've interviewed

152
00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:15.680
team members and business owners and team members of business owners about their goals,

153
00:13:15.680 --> 00:13:20.320
what I can say is I've never found a goal that is outside of those three buckets. But the challenge

154
00:13:20.320 --> 00:13:25.200
many people run into is on New Year's Eve, they start to list out all of the lovely things that

155
00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:29.920
they would like to accomplish and who they want to be and it becomes this very esoteric conversation

156
00:13:29.920 --> 00:13:35.920
instead of really prioritizing personally, what does success look like? Professionally, what does

157
00:13:35.920 --> 00:13:41.120
success look like? Financially, what does success look like? And what would those targets be

158
00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:46.800
in one year from now? Three years from now? And five years from now? Because those three buckets

159
00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:52.560
become easy to think about in the short term. One year for most people, super straightforward.

160
00:13:52.560 --> 00:13:57.520
They're like, oh, I'd like to make an additional $10,000, maybe like a promotion here. Three years

161
00:13:57.520 --> 00:14:02.000
starts to get a little bit more nebulous. And after having over a thousand of these conversations,

162
00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:08.080
five years for most people, they have a hard time thinking with. But the one constant is in five

163
00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:13.760
years from now, guess what? We're going to be five years older. I am 32 years old today in five

164
00:14:13.760 --> 00:14:20.800
years from now. For certain, I will be 37 years old. And so who is Natalie at 37? Who is she?

165
00:14:21.760 --> 00:14:30.480
She's a fucking badass. Natalie is in control of her environment. Natalie is able to

166
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:36.960
make a lot of financial investments that I'm not in the position financially to make today because

167
00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:43.120
I want to be able to write a million dollar check to charity just because I can. I'd ideally

168
00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:49.760
like that check to be 10 or 50 million dollars. And when you say PPF, personal professional financial,

169
00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:56.800
is there any specific way that I should write this down? Do I just think about in five years

170
00:14:56.800 --> 00:14:59.760
from now, what are my personal professional financial goals? And then I write that down on a

171
00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:05.600
piece of paper, for example. Great question. Ideally, personal is at the top with a bucket for one

172
00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:11.040
year, three year, and five year. Then the next is professional one year, three or five year,

173
00:15:11.040 --> 00:15:17.040
financial one year, three or five year. And you know, you used the word badass. What is the

174
00:15:17.040 --> 00:15:23.280
mindset of a badass? Like, have you always been like this? I always wanted this, but today I am

175
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:30.400
at 20 years old. I was crippled with anxiety and fear about what others thought of me,

176
00:15:30.400 --> 00:15:35.360
about this decision that I made to be in a relationship with somebody who is older than me.

177
00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:39.440
And thinking that for the rest of my life, somebody was going to think that, oh, she just

178
00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:45.840
married her way to the top. She slept her way to success. She's not actually very smart. She's

179
00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:53.440
just a gold digger. And she took the easy way out. And so 20 year old me was actually terrified

180
00:15:53.440 --> 00:16:02.240
of being in front of people, was terrified of the future judgment that would come if I was

181
00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:06.640
successful. Because I think there was a part of me that thought to myself, well, what if I am

182
00:16:07.280 --> 00:16:13.440
only successful? Because I married somebody who is successful. And all of the thought process that

183
00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:18.480
goes around, well, do I not marry this person and be in this relationship, even though I love

184
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:22.320
them. And I think they're the greatest person on earth. Because what people are going to think of me,

185
00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:26.320
what if I could have the greatest relationship? Because I'm obsessed with this person. I really think

186
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:31.760
that this person is my person. I had that clarity at a very young age. And he's 25 years older than

187
00:16:31.760 --> 00:16:37.520
you. He is 25 years older than me. So, so you were anxious and more concerned with other people's

188
00:16:37.520 --> 00:16:45.920
opinions. 100%. Did you have the same aura? I don't think so. What changed? What happened?

189
00:16:45.920 --> 00:16:53.120
How did you acquire such an aura? I think the aura came from targeting, getting stats that I could

190
00:16:53.120 --> 00:17:00.400
prove that let somebody not see me in my life choices, but actually let them see an outcome. So

191
00:17:00.400 --> 00:17:06.480
that first outcome was being able to recruit people. I wanted to actually have a stat that I have

192
00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:11.040
recruited X amount of people. Therefore, I know how to hire people. I know how to interview them.

193
00:17:11.040 --> 00:17:16.640
I know how to onboard them. I know how to create a successful culture because a result shows that.

194
00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:23.520
So whether you like me, don't like me, think that it was him. You can't take away the stat. And I

195
00:17:23.520 --> 00:17:31.920
became obsessed with not getting things or doing things that took me away from stats.

196
00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:36.880
So you needed to acquire first party evidence for yourself, about yourself,

197
00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:45.280
so that within yourself you knew who you are. That. You had a self case for who you are. That.

198
00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:49.120
And even I guess for people to do that, because I'm sure there's so many people listening that

199
00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:55.200
are maybe 20-year-old Natalie in some way. Maybe a bit shrouded with certain insecurities and maybe

200
00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:59.360
aren't the most confident, maybe anxious, scared about what people might think if they try.

201
00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:01.440
What would you say to those people from your experience?

202
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:11.280
Go all in on yourself. Go all in on that weird thing that you're interested in. If it's scrapbooking,

203
00:18:11.280 --> 00:18:20.240
if it's social media, if it's recruiting, if you like reading business books,

204
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:26.080
go all in on that thing. And social media has never created a better time for people to actually

205
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:32.160
create incredible things based off of their own interests and get those things out to the world.

206
00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:39.280
So 20-year-old anybody, anybody who is 20 years old, should say, this is what I'm interested in.

207
00:18:39.280 --> 00:18:45.120
It is one thing. It is not 12 things. And I'm going to go all in on myself with this thing and

208
00:18:45.120 --> 00:18:51.840
become completely obsessed and create my environment around becoming the best at, objectively,

209
00:18:51.840 --> 00:18:57.200
the best at this thing. Does it matter how you look? I've heard you talk about this in a video

210
00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:01.680
you made in April when you're talking about seven steps to transforming yourself. And you say that

211
00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:09.200
you should rebrand your look. Does it matter how I look? I think it matters a lot to people how

212
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:16.160
they look. I think people have a lot of ideas about levels of acceptance, about how they look.

213
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:21.520
And ultimately, you have to decide if you are comfortable with the way that you look. And I do

214
00:19:21.520 --> 00:19:29.440
think many people overemphasize how they look and how they come across. But if you want to rebrand

215
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:36.320
yourself and have this new identity, let's say somebody wants to go from being a 20-year-old college

216
00:19:36.320 --> 00:19:43.200
student that no one really takes seriously and it's kind of dumpy and doesn't really like certain

217
00:19:43.200 --> 00:19:48.880
things but can't really articulate why spend too much time on social media. And let's say that

218
00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:55.360
person wants to become a professional golfer. Well, all of a sudden, in order for me to become

219
00:19:55.360 --> 00:20:00.160
a professional golfer, the fastest way for me to be successful, becoming a professional golfer,

220
00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:06.560
is to practice golf every hour of the day and to assimilate into that environment to look the part

221
00:20:06.560 --> 00:20:13.680
and to act the part. I'm a huge believer in the process of B Do Have. It is not have before you

222
00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:20.800
actually be that person and you do the things in order to have the stuff or have the identity or

223
00:20:20.800 --> 00:20:25.840
have the whatever it is that you're looking to create, the being a professional golfer, the

224
00:20:25.840 --> 00:20:32.000
scrapbooking business, the 20 million dollar organization. And so the first step really is becoming

225
00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:39.680
that. And if I really want to change what my external environment is, I need to get in those

226
00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:44.080
rooms and I need to start to understand what those rooms look like and the fastest way for me

227
00:20:44.080 --> 00:20:48.560
to actually be able to do that as long as it doesn't compromise my moral code would be to start to

228
00:20:48.560 --> 00:20:52.960
look like, dress like, act like that thing that I want to become. How important do you think

229
00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:57.520
communication is in terms of like the way that you show up here and the way that you talk?

230
00:20:59.120 --> 00:21:04.800
Do you think that's important? And if so, what advice would you give to my audience about

231
00:21:05.520 --> 00:21:12.960
being an effective communicator? Of course communication is the most important thing

232
00:21:13.840 --> 00:21:20.320
next to being successful. Actually, I would say in order to be successful, you have to be able to

233
00:21:20.320 --> 00:21:26.080
communicate your ideas and your thoughts and who you are and your point of view. And if you

234
00:21:26.080 --> 00:21:32.960
can't communicate those things, it will show in your inability to create the things that you

235
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:36.800
want to have. So what do you do when you think about your own communication style?

236
00:21:36.800 --> 00:21:40.320
What are some of the things that you've learned over time that are effective to make people take

237
00:21:40.320 --> 00:21:47.280
you seriously to to hear you and to persuade people? I am incredibly present in any room that I am

238
00:21:47.280 --> 00:21:53.600
in and that is a missed skill in a day and age where everyone has a cell phone where they can

239
00:21:53.600 --> 00:21:59.360
contact millions of people instantly. I find that leaders who want to get promoted and

240
00:22:00.320 --> 00:22:06.000
be in the next position, they don't even think of how unaware they look in every leadership

241
00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:12.160
meeting because they are simply answering another email or not in that room. And my philosophy is

242
00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:16.320
if you're in the room and you're two feet are there, that is where you have to be. And so you are

243
00:22:16.320 --> 00:22:20.400
an effective communicator if you can actually track with what's happening. If I can track what he's

244
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:25.600
doing over here and when he comes and talks to me, I'm able to have a conversation because he's

245
00:22:25.600 --> 00:22:31.200
physically in my space. That communication matters. It's not just the most important person in the

246
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:37.840
room that matters in any room. It's how you present yourself to every individual because you are

247
00:22:37.840 --> 00:22:45.600
present in that environment right now. And if you can teach yourself to not numb yourself from

248
00:22:45.600 --> 00:22:51.120
the environment, if you can teach yourself to really observe the environment and talk to whoever

249
00:22:51.120 --> 00:22:54.960
it is that's in front of you communicate with them. Even if they're not talking to you,

250
00:22:54.960 --> 00:23:00.800
how we became partners with Grant and Elena Cardone was by sitting at an event with 35,000 people

251
00:23:00.800 --> 00:23:07.040
and instead of acting like big deals and instead of acting like we were somebody, we sat there

252
00:23:07.040 --> 00:23:12.800
in their audience and took notes and were actively interested in what they were saying. Why? Because

253
00:23:12.800 --> 00:23:17.040
if somebody is up on stage and you want that person's attention, the fastest way to make them not

254
00:23:17.040 --> 00:23:23.280
want to spend time with you is to slouch in your chair and is to look down or be distracted the

255
00:23:23.280 --> 00:23:28.480
whole time. And then when they meet you to come take a picture at the end of the event, they see

256
00:23:28.480 --> 00:23:33.840
you. They are going to know that you gave them no laughs. You gave them no verbal cues. You were

257
00:23:33.840 --> 00:23:38.960
completely uninterested and you actually made their job harder for them despite the fact that maybe

258
00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:45.840
they're your role model or idle. I find people are so unaware of their physical presence in any room

259
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:51.760
in a meeting, in a school room, in a presentation, in a conversation with their significant other,

260
00:23:52.320 --> 00:23:58.160
with their kids, that if they could just own the space that they're in and be intentional with

261
00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:02.720
the human being that's in front of them, would change everything in their lives. What about how you

262
00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:07.920
speak? How the very, the most effective speakers that you've encountered, what it is they do

263
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:13.440
tactically to make sure that people hear what they're saying and are persuaded by them. You know,

264
00:24:13.520 --> 00:24:16.240
and there's a spectrum, right? There'll be these business owners that you meet that are like

265
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:20.640
terrible communicators and speakers. What are they doing wrong? And then the very best that you

266
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:28.720
meet, what are they doing right? The more frameworks somebody has to frame their communication,

267
00:24:29.360 --> 00:24:35.840
I think helps them land their point. So there's no shortages of frameworks on the planet.

268
00:24:36.560 --> 00:24:42.720
My framework is vision commitment execution. I use three steps in every communication that I'm

269
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:49.360
really intentional about and wanting to land. And that three step framework can be used for

270
00:24:49.360 --> 00:24:54.640
getting a promotion. It could be used for laying people off. It could be used to figuring out

271
00:24:55.520 --> 00:24:58.800
where you're going to go to dinner that night and persuading your significant other.

272
00:24:59.600 --> 00:25:08.800
So the first step of the framework under VCE is vision. And it's important that vision is first

273
00:25:08.800 --> 00:25:14.960
because if you can articulate to somebody the intention and the why behind whatever it is you're

274
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:21.440
communicating, you're going to get much further than just going into tactics. And if it's tactics

275
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:27.200
that you go into, people forget it. People don't remember tactics. They like the tips, but do they

276
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:32.160
actually implement those things oftentimes, not because it's just tactics. So why is this thing

277
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:35.840
important for the individual? So give me an example. I'm on your team and your

278
00:25:35.840 --> 00:25:42.560
turnip has made me to launch Twitch channel to do live streaming. How would you go through this

279
00:25:42.560 --> 00:25:47.440
framework to accomplish that goal? Cardin Mentors, our mission is to help business owners achieve

280
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:53.520
their personal professional financial goals. And we're on a path to impact a million business owners.

281
00:25:53.520 --> 00:25:58.160
We've only done business with a handful of thousands. We have a long way to go. And one of the

282
00:25:58.160 --> 00:26:05.920
things I was researching is Twitch because our impact could be greatly amplified by us having

283
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:13.280
our message be to this audience to this crowd using Twitch vision. Commitment is two steps.

284
00:26:13.280 --> 00:26:19.920
First step, what is my commitment? I will provide you whatever training is the best training to get

285
00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:24.160
you set up with an account to get to the knowledge and education of people who are crushing it in

286
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:30.640
the space. Introduce you to those contacts and order for you to be able to fully launch this

287
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:38.080
and be responsible for it. Commitment part two. What I'd ask for in return is you take that very

288
00:26:38.080 --> 00:26:42.800
seriously. And with the contacts that you're going to be meeting, you follow up with them. You

289
00:26:42.800 --> 00:26:46.960
ensure that they understand that your intention is to be the best of the best to learn from their

290
00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:50.720
mistakes, but to do this in a way that represents our organization at the highest level possible.

291
00:26:51.520 --> 00:26:57.760
Execution. So what I see this looking like is we're going to get you an account. I've researched this

292
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:03.360
platform. I don't know anything about Twitch, but I've researched this platform and hear the three

293
00:27:03.360 --> 00:27:11.120
people that I'm going to invest $5,000 for you to go and learn from, be mentored by, and over the next

294
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:20.720
eight weeks, the target has to be we're going to go from zero Twitch subscribers to 10,000 Twitch

295
00:27:20.720 --> 00:27:28.160
subscribers. And we will check in every single day in order to remove any roadblocks in order for

296
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:33.280
this to be a successful initiative. And where do people get wrong here? They start with the

297
00:27:33.280 --> 00:27:36.560
execution. They're like, oh, we need to be on Twitch. This is what business owners do to their

298
00:27:36.560 --> 00:27:40.880
teens. They're like, I came home from this conference. We need to be on Twitch. So figure out what

299
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:46.320
Twitch is going to look like. Figure out what the plan is. We'll meet back. Talk about it. Just like

300
00:27:46.320 --> 00:27:50.880
handle this. I'm super busy. I have to do this thing over here instead of really tying whatever

301
00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:55.120
the thing is that you're asking somebody to why is this important? Oh, yeah, it ties back to

302
00:27:55.120 --> 00:27:58.960
this bigger thing. It's not just because I'm asking you to learn Twitch, which is likely something

303
00:27:58.960 --> 00:28:04.720
that you know, jack shit about, you know, nothing about Twitch as do I, but that's this difficulty

304
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:11.440
in businesses and in many communication outside of business is you're both trusting that

305
00:28:12.080 --> 00:28:16.960
you're going to do your part in learning about something that neither of you know anything about.

306
00:28:16.960 --> 00:28:23.680
And so you either, again, bottleneck yourself in this communication because you're struggling

307
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:28.320
to understand this thing. You're struggling to understand Twitch. And then you feel like you have

308
00:28:28.320 --> 00:28:34.480
to become a Twitch master. People online are going to love this. No idea. But you're going to

309
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:38.720
become like the world's greatest Twitch person. When really what you should have been doing is these

310
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:43.360
other things for your business and this person, you should trust enough, but lay out enough steps

311
00:28:43.360 --> 00:28:47.600
for them to say, this is why I'm committed to this. It's important enough for me to invest $5,000.

312
00:28:47.600 --> 00:28:53.440
That's my commitment. What I'm asking for in return is your commitment back to me so that

313
00:28:53.440 --> 00:28:58.720
were aligned. And if I once I have your commitment, I've already given you mine. Let's just hop right

314
00:28:58.720 --> 00:29:04.000
into execution. But so often we job right into execution without first getting the commitment from

315
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:10.080
the other person that they're even interested. And then we wait four weeks or eight weeks or

316
00:29:10.080 --> 00:29:15.920
12 weeks thinking something is happening when it is not happening. And we lose time, momentum,

317
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:21.760
excitement, enthusiasm about growing. And our confidence in people that we can actually trust them

318
00:29:21.760 --> 00:29:28.000
goes down. I've actually talked about avoiding phrases like I think I feel and being more

319
00:29:28.080 --> 00:29:33.440
high conviction and certain with the way that you communicate with people. Explain that to me.

320
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:43.040
That honestly might be outdated for me. Because in a day and age where it's important to share your

321
00:29:43.040 --> 00:29:50.880
point of view, it's not a bad thing to say, I think this is the right path, especially if you aren't

322
00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:58.960
certain. And it shows strength and integrity that you are communicating that you're thinking this.

323
00:29:58.960 --> 00:30:03.360
You don't know for sure. And you're relying on other people. Now if it is just a filler word,

324
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:09.360
if somebody says, I think we should do this. And this is the direction that I think we should

325
00:30:09.360 --> 00:30:14.480
take card on ventures. That wouldn't be very engaging. So in that context, you absolutely should not

326
00:30:14.560 --> 00:30:21.440
be using these filler phrases of, I think, or maybe in an adding lack of certainty. At some level,

327
00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:26.080
you're playing a certainty game with everybody around you, whether they are investors, clients,

328
00:30:26.080 --> 00:30:32.960
patients, team members, partners, vendors. And so using phrases that decrease people's certainty

329
00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:39.600
in your direction isn't going to help them help you. But if you actually are uncertain, it is okay

330
00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:44.960
to be transparent about that and actually build trust. I think it's funny, I just said I think,

331
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:49.920
I think about this a lot because I find myself writing emails and messages wherever it in,

332
00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:57.680
I think, in them. And I'd say 90% of the time change it to, I believe. And I think there's

333
00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:03.520
something different about that framing. Whenever I believe it feels, it's still appreciating that

334
00:31:03.520 --> 00:31:07.280
this is a belief that I have and I don't have certainty on this hypothesis. But there's something

335
00:31:07.360 --> 00:31:12.240
high conviction about the phrase, I believe we're going to blah, blah, blah, blah. And I believe

336
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:18.080
that will happen, blah, blah. It feels much better than I think. I think it's a bit flimsy.

337
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:22.560
I'm going to agree with you. A bit plastic down in the wind. But when you say it like this,

338
00:31:23.520 --> 00:31:28.160
it makes me connect to you because it actually feels like it's a stream of consciousness that you

339
00:31:28.160 --> 00:31:36.320
are thinking something. Instead of an email, you saying I believe is much more authoritative, I would

340
00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:46.160
caution leaders when it comes to using words like I believe or being certain about really

341
00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:52.400
ensuring that you are certain or you really do believe something, especially as your business

342
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:57.040
grows. If you're doing a million dollars and now you have a 10 million dollar business and

343
00:31:57.040 --> 00:32:01.920
all of a sudden you have a layer of leaders around you, it can become an echo chamber.

344
00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:09.600
And the more certain you are or at least you seem to be, the less likely people are going to

345
00:32:09.600 --> 00:32:15.600
push back on you when you might actually need them to collaborate and you weren't so certain,

346
00:32:15.600 --> 00:32:20.160
but you came off with such certainty and I find that that's a balance that leaders have to find

347
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:25.360
as they become more competent in their zone of genius and as they get higher up in organizations

348
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:32.320
or start their own organization themselves. If they aren't really communicating what things they

349
00:32:32.320 --> 00:32:41.760
aren't certain of, but they're waffling on, it can cause unnecessary duress. You talk about

350
00:32:41.760 --> 00:32:47.200
mastering your calendar as well, being central transformation. Why is this important and what does

351
00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:53.200
that mean? Well, if you want anything in life, you have to spend time to get that thing.

352
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.880
Things don't just magically manifest into people's lives despite what the internet tells you.

353
00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:06.080
So in order for me to have the relationship that I want to have, I actually have to invest time

354
00:33:06.080 --> 00:33:10.400
with my significant other. It's not just going to magically happen that I'm going to have an

355
00:33:10.400 --> 00:33:17.600
amazing marriage. If I want to have great friends, I actually have to spend time with my friends.

356
00:33:17.600 --> 00:33:22.800
And so your calendar is a reflection and a representation of what you find to be important

357
00:33:22.800 --> 00:33:27.840
and is an alignment or out of alignment with the goals that you have every single day.

358
00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:32.800
So if I have zero time being spent on generating revenue inside my business,

359
00:33:32.800 --> 00:33:36.400
it shouldn't surprise me at the end of the year that I'm doing the same amount of revenue that

360
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:41.120
I did last year. Why? I spent zero time on the one thing a.k.a. revenue generation

361
00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:47.680
in order for it to grow. So for me, my calendar and I teach business owners this every single day,

362
00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:54.480
you have to look at it every day. You have to start to align your time unless you want your life

363
00:33:54.480 --> 00:34:00.720
to be something that just is a story of luck. I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in

364
00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:05.920
having a life of luck because I think that actually leads to a significant amount of self-doubt

365
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:10.240
and uncertainty. Oh, just because I'm lucky. I'm going to leave something to being out of my

366
00:34:10.240 --> 00:34:15.760
control just because I happen to be at the right place at the right time. Of course, there are

367
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:19.520
those components. I have been at the right place at the right time throughout my career,

368
00:34:19.520 --> 00:34:24.800
but the way that you control where you spend your time gives you the most amount of

369
00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:31.360
at-bats to the opportunities that you want if you have goals and aspirations to have a different life

370
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:36.320
that you currently have. And to me, still to this day, I want to have a different life in the future.

371
00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:42.560
And I imagine a more enriched version of my life at 40 and at 50 and at 60. And I think if people

372
00:34:42.560 --> 00:34:47.680
were really honest with themselves, they want a different version of their lives too. I don't think

373
00:34:47.680 --> 00:34:53.680
someone listens to this podcast or watches this show without wanting to be something different,

374
00:34:53.680 --> 00:34:58.720
or to have something different, whether it's a relationship or a different health situation

375
00:34:58.720 --> 00:35:04.320
or different income, different friends. I mean, how many people would want different friends,

376
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:08.960
like badass friends to do cool shit with? Well, how do you get that? I would need to actually

377
00:35:08.960 --> 00:35:15.520
reverse engineer using my time and what I do every single day to get me closer to people who are

378
00:35:15.520 --> 00:35:20.640
doing those similar things. And so that might actually take me making sacrifices for two years

379
00:35:20.640 --> 00:35:26.240
in order to be able to be around people, to be able to give value to people who'd be interested

380
00:35:26.240 --> 00:35:34.240
in being my friend. And it sounds a little strategic, but it is because you don't just get great people

381
00:35:34.240 --> 00:35:37.360
in your life because you happen to be at the right place at the right time. You get great people

382
00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:40.800
by doing great things because great people want to spend time around other people who are doing

383
00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:44.640
great things. And the only way that you can certainly know that you were doing great things

384
00:35:44.640 --> 00:35:49.840
without getting lucky or happening to look a certain way so that you get invited into certain places

385
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:55.600
is by managing and really creating your own time. What about hard work in this equation?

386
00:35:56.560 --> 00:35:59.520
You know, people talk a lot about work, life, balance. And I think a lot of people want

387
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:07.360
one everything. We want to get to 40, have the year, have the great family, have great relationships,

388
00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:11.280
have a great business. I mean, that's an ideal outcome for all of us. What would you say to people

389
00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:15.200
about the concept of working hard and how critical or unimportant that is?

390
00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:22.400
Working hard is the most important thing. You cannot get to where you want to go. If it's truly

391
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:32.320
something that is unusual or out of the ordinary without working hard and you could try to hack it.

392
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:41.440
Let's say somebody happens to be beautiful. I guess you could get the yacht and a relationship

393
00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:48.400
because you're beautiful and somebody is willing to be in a relationship with you because you're

394
00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:55.520
good person. But I've met those people and those people have crippling fear and anxiety

395
00:36:55.520 --> 00:37:01.120
because they don't actually know what their place is and they didn't do what was required to have

396
00:37:01.120 --> 00:37:07.840
the thing. So going back to like be do have people who win the lottery, they have all the money,

397
00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:12.720
people who inherit wealth, they have all the money. This was my fear. I was going to have money

398
00:37:12.720 --> 00:37:20.400
because I'm connected to my husband, but I didn't do the work and become the person that created

399
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:27.840
the havingness until I did do the work to become the person to have the thing. So now that I have it,

400
00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:33.920
I can actually have it. And when you are able in life to have things that you want because you

401
00:37:33.920 --> 00:37:39.040
did it in the right order, you don't have this anxiousness, you don't have this anxiety,

402
00:37:39.040 --> 00:37:43.200
you don't have this worry or fear that someone's going to take it from you, it's all going to come

403
00:37:43.200 --> 00:37:50.720
crashing down because you know that you could redo it. If I want to be badass Natalie at 32,

404
00:37:52.080 --> 00:37:56.640
how hard am I going to have to work in my 20s? And I want like very specifics like because

405
00:37:56.640 --> 00:37:59.760
people, everyone has a different idea of hard work. I think if you ask anybody if they work hard,

406
00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:03.680
I think 100% of the population will say yes, I do. But actually there's like levels to this

407
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:12.880
shit. So how hard do you work if we look at an average week? Why are you smiling?

408
00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:23.760
I'm never not working. So however many hours are in a day, everything in my life is optimized

409
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:28.400
to the work that I do. Every single thing because the work that I do is important to me. And I'm

410
00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:33.760
in a phase of my life where I really do believe that the work that I'm doing can change my life,

411
00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:38.880
it can change others' lives. So it would be selfish of me to not spend every minute thinking about

412
00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:43.040
what I can do in order to help move the work that I do that I'm passionate about.

413
00:38:43.040 --> 00:38:48.160
We're going to talk about our stuff and what do you have any hobbies? We think you do to

414
00:38:49.040 --> 00:38:55.440
when you're not working. I love a facial. Facials are great.

415
00:38:58.160 --> 00:39:05.200
That's the extent of hobbies. I don't have hobbies. I truly love what I do every single day.

416
00:39:05.680 --> 00:39:10.560
I get to work with the backbone of America. I get to work with business owners who need my help

417
00:39:10.560 --> 00:39:16.080
who are very confused. And so I feel a huge sense of responsibility every single day to actually

418
00:39:16.160 --> 00:39:21.840
make decisions that if I had Sarah looking over my shoulder listening to how I'm talking to my

419
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:26.800
husband and Sarah works with her husband, like would she actually think, oh she is the person

420
00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:30.400
that she says she is because of the way that Natalie showed up to this conversation. And

421
00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:40.080
if you have this responsibility and I would recommend anybody, like manufacture in every way possible

422
00:39:40.160 --> 00:39:46.160
responsibility, put more responsibility on yourself, feel the weight of responsibility because

423
00:39:46.160 --> 00:39:51.520
it's important. And there's nothing wrong with responsibility. We should want responsibility

424
00:39:51.520 --> 00:39:58.000
because people who have responsibility, what does that mean? They're able to respond.

425
00:39:58.720 --> 00:40:03.680
Well, I don't want to be unable to respond to anything. I want to be the first phone call

426
00:40:03.680 --> 00:40:07.360
when somebody is having a crisis. I want to be the first phone call when somebody is celebrating

427
00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:14.160
something. I want to be capable and able to respond. And so the idea of hard work to me,

428
00:40:14.160 --> 00:40:21.680
it's just a requirement because I have responsibility. And anybody who is trying to shortcut the hard work,

429
00:40:21.680 --> 00:40:26.240
you have to figure out almost how to gamify it for yourself and put different

430
00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:33.200
ways of creating pressure and responsibility to keep yourself going through it because

431
00:40:33.280 --> 00:40:40.000
sometimes it is frustrating and overwhelming and never burn out inducing, though. And I think

432
00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:46.640
that that's a misconception about hard work. I don't know successful people who are still in the game,

433
00:40:46.640 --> 00:40:55.520
who are burnt out by a long day. The response isn't burnt out. Their response might be I want to

434
00:40:55.520 --> 00:41:03.520
go do something different for a minute. But my business partner, Grant Cardone, who I am obsessed

435
00:41:03.520 --> 00:41:07.280
with. And that was one of the greatest partnerships I could have ever done my entire life.

436
00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:13.600
He says, you're not a candle. You can't burn out. A human being cannot burn out because you're

437
00:41:13.600 --> 00:41:21.280
not a candle. So can you feel moments of pressure, stress? Yes. I don't take any of those moments as

438
00:41:21.360 --> 00:41:24.960
being a bad thing. It's not a negative to feel overwhelmed because you have responsibility.

439
00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:28.240
People depend on you. People are relying on you to do something great.

440
00:41:28.240 --> 00:41:32.160
So why don't you burn out then in your view? Why do people say, you know, I was doing this thing

441
00:41:32.160 --> 00:41:39.680
and I got burnt out. So like, what is that? The thing that people do is not actually leading to

442
00:41:39.680 --> 00:41:46.720
where they want to go. So if I thought that it was going to require me to work out two hours a day

443
00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:52.560
in the gym and only eat chicken and rice and never have any of the things that I love

444
00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:59.760
to never get a six pack, I'm not going to do that. But if I think that by doing this work,

445
00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:04.880
that's going to be hard and I'm going to hate and it's going to suck that I can actually get

446
00:42:04.880 --> 00:42:09.120
what I want. And my life would be changed because I'd actually have a six pack and I feel confident

447
00:42:09.120 --> 00:42:12.720
and I'd be able to buy the clothes that I'd want. And I just be part of the very small percentage

448
00:42:12.720 --> 00:42:19.440
of the population that has one. Then the process of me going to the gym early at five o'clock

449
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:24.640
before my kids get up wouldn't burn me out. I would recognize that this is a step that's

450
00:42:24.640 --> 00:42:29.840
necessary to get to my goal. And at which point when the goal is there, you might change your mind

451
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:35.600
and you might have a different goal. But when people win, they are rarely burnt out at that moment.

452
00:42:35.600 --> 00:42:39.840
I've watched business owners sell their businesses for hundreds of millions of dollars.

453
00:42:40.560 --> 00:42:45.920
I've watched them get hundreds of millions of dollars in their bank account. And that feeling

454
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:52.800
of celebration and joy happens to stay around for a little while until that thing kicks in,

455
00:42:52.800 --> 00:42:58.480
which is that individual's potential to help somebody to solve more problems, to be able to make

456
00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:05.840
a larger impact. And so that end goal does end up moving. The goal post ends up moving. And there's

457
00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:10.320
actually nothing wrong with that. Despite the world wanting to tell you that there is something

458
00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:14.160
wrong with the fact that you're moving the goal post, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

459
00:43:14.160 --> 00:43:19.360
And you only really get burnt out if you don't see how the sacrifices that you're making are

460
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:22.800
actually going to lead you to the six pack. If you're going to be overweight forever,

461
00:43:23.520 --> 00:43:27.440
then of course I'm just going to eat candy and chips and all the things that I love to eat. But

462
00:43:28.240 --> 00:43:31.760
I do think I can get a six pack. So I'm willing to make some of these sacrifices here and there

463
00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:35.200
because the goal isn't going to allow me to get burnt out because I'm going to be so

464
00:43:35.200 --> 00:43:38.800
fricking proud of myself by the time I reach that goal. At which point I'm going to change it

465
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:42.640
to a different goal. And it's going to be just as interesting and exciting of a game for me to play

466
00:43:42.640 --> 00:43:47.280
at that point in my life. We talked about responsibility earlier and you work seven days a week

467
00:43:47.280 --> 00:43:53.520
all the time, but only take time off for facials. I know my audience will enough to know that some of

468
00:43:53.520 --> 00:43:58.080
them will be thinking that's all right for you. You haven't got kids. Totally. How do you respond

469
00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:04.480
to that rebuttal for people that have, you know, lots of other responsibilities? They're right.

470
00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:13.040
You can have kids and be a great parent and also work a lot. And so then your hobby instead of

471
00:44:13.040 --> 00:44:17.840
me getting a facial would be you actually spending intentional time with your kids. But I would

472
00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:22.400
ask them this question, what is the appropriate amount of time to spend with your kids? How much

473
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:26.720
is that? What would make you feel good about how much time you spent with your kids? Is it two

474
00:44:26.720 --> 00:44:34.080
hours a day? Okay, great. Two hours. Focus time. Dedicated time. Not four hours. Half of that

475
00:44:34.080 --> 00:44:40.880
on television, on social media, making calls, making dinner. No, that's not workable. Two hours

476
00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:47.360
make sense. Or three hours. Whatever that person's goal is with the amount of time that they want

477
00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:54.080
to spend being an active parent, being somebody actively involved in that person's life. But we

478
00:44:54.160 --> 00:45:03.120
tend to just use these excuses. Oh, I have sick parents. Oh, I have kids. Oh, I have. And I find that

479
00:45:03.120 --> 00:45:10.000
very successful people happen to have all of those. Oh, I have. And many of them, not all of them,

480
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:15.360
but many of them are able to figure out, okay, I'm going to spend this 90 minutes at the hospital

481
00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:20.960
fully locked in to my dad right now. My dad doesn't actually need me for six hours.

482
00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:27.360
My dad needs me for 90 minutes. That time is precious. It's blocked off. I'm making the time

483
00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:34.240
for that. And then outside of that, it is working in order to build the life that you want. Because

484
00:45:34.240 --> 00:45:40.080
guess what? Your dad is going to pass away. If your dad passes away in a year from now and six

485
00:45:40.080 --> 00:45:44.880
years from now, the amount of time that you spent with him needs to be important enough for you

486
00:45:44.880 --> 00:45:49.200
to make that time. And I would hope that everybody makes the amount of time that is necessary for

487
00:45:49.200 --> 00:45:54.880
them to feel like they did their job as the child, did their job as the caretaker, whatever the

488
00:45:54.880 --> 00:46:00.320
role is. But at what point are you going to use other people circumstances to stop you from doing

489
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:06.320
what you want to do and creating what you want to have? And for the parents who is very intentional

490
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:15.520
with their kids and doesn't use their kids as an excuse, I am all for spending as much time

491
00:46:15.600 --> 00:46:21.600
as required for you to be a good parent. It's that I find that the other side is far more

492
00:46:21.600 --> 00:46:27.280
prevalent, which is I'm using my kids. I'm using my family. I'm using my circumstances. I'm using

493
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:34.400
my education, my lack of experience as a reason for why I can't do this thing. And when I find people,

494
00:46:34.400 --> 00:46:39.840
because I work with people all day every day, when I find people like that, the fastest way to handle

495
00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:45.600
that is to be like, hey, Sarah, let me see your phone real fast. So give me your phone.

496
00:46:46.480 --> 00:46:52.000
And I'll open up the screen time on her phone. And if the screen time on her phone has three

497
00:46:52.000 --> 00:46:57.840
hours of Netflix or an hour and a half of Instagram, like just reallocate that time to the thing

498
00:46:57.840 --> 00:47:03.920
that you want to go build, use your calendar, use your time for building the life that you actually

499
00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:08.880
want to have instead of saying, oh, I have kids while also being distracted with your kids and not

500
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:14.240
being a parent, whatever that definition for you is a parent to them. I don't think that kids

501
00:47:14.240 --> 00:47:19.040
are negatively impacted by watching their parents work their asses off. I think that that is

502
00:47:19.040 --> 00:47:24.480
an inspiring way to grow up. I had two parents who worked their tails off. And I do think that I am

503
00:47:25.200 --> 00:47:30.080
part of the way that I am because I had such incredible parents who worked hard and who prioritized

504
00:47:30.080 --> 00:47:37.520
their own goals and their own success as something that was important. And I would also argue,

505
00:47:37.520 --> 00:47:42.160
it should be more important than I am just because your parents shouldn't mean that your kids are

506
00:47:42.160 --> 00:47:47.280
the most important thing in your life. And you have to over index on spending all of your time

507
00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:53.280
there. What matters more being in your view, being happy and content with your life or being

508
00:47:53.280 --> 00:47:57.760
successful, even if it comes at the cost of contentment? They're the same thing. They're not

509
00:47:57.760 --> 00:48:05.440
different. I do not find success and happiness on two polar opposites. I am happy when I create things

510
00:48:05.440 --> 00:48:10.240
and when I can see in the physical universe that I've done something that I wanted to do, whether

511
00:48:10.240 --> 00:48:17.200
that's driving revenue, hiring people, helping a business owner, that is when I am the happiest,

512
00:48:17.200 --> 00:48:24.080
when I am doing the things that are part of becoming successful. So Sarah who's scrolling on Netflix

513
00:48:24.080 --> 00:48:31.120
is content and happy. She's not to content or happy though. How do you know? Because what is she

514
00:48:31.120 --> 00:48:35.840
watching? Is she watching Selling Sunset and watching other people live their lives and touring

515
00:48:35.840 --> 00:48:41.920
these gorgeous homes and having these fancy things that Sarah would love to have? If she really

516
00:48:41.920 --> 00:48:50.960
thought she could have those things, if she really actually believed that for a second and these are

517
00:48:50.960 --> 00:48:58.080
the steps that are part of getting there, I do believe that she would choose actually having it

518
00:48:58.160 --> 00:49:03.280
versus watching it. I guess it depends on what it comes at the expense of because I know a bunch of

519
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:09.040
billionaires and they're not amongst the happiest people I know sometimes. I mean there's the odd one or

520
00:49:09.040 --> 00:49:13.920
two that I think are really happy and content but then I've got friends that live in my hometown

521
00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:20.160
who I think are probably happier and that never have a nine to five job etc and I would say they're

522
00:49:20.160 --> 00:49:28.000
probably happier. So that the house in my mind doesn't strike me as being the source of

523
00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:34.400
everyone's happiness even though for you or maybe even for me, maybe that is the pursuit of those

524
00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:39.280
things gives us some kind of stability because of our own trauma and our own wiring and our own

525
00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:46.320
insecurities etc. But for Sarah maybe she had such a cushy, lovely upbringing and she felt so

526
00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:52.160
safe and secure and that she didn't she wasn't without. That maybe she's like perfectly happy just

527
00:49:52.160 --> 00:49:58.480
vicariously watching Netflix and walking her dog. I refuse to believe that that's possible.

528
00:49:59.280 --> 00:50:04.640
Really? Yeah, Sarah is slapped in the face as soon as she leaves that nice little escape that she's

529
00:50:04.640 --> 00:50:09.920
created for herself with Netflix of all of the things that she can't have and that she can't do

530
00:50:09.920 --> 00:50:13.920
and the experiences she can't create for herself that she could never give to people around her

531
00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:20.320
because she was distracted and not actually building what she wanted to build. Maybe that's what

532
00:50:20.320 --> 00:50:24.960
she wanted to build though. A life of watching other people's lives on social media and Netflix.

533
00:50:24.960 --> 00:50:30.080
People like watching movies and stuff and they like scrolling and you know they like cooking and

534
00:50:30.080 --> 00:50:36.160
then do a bit of crochet then walk the dog and spend time with the kids. People like that. When I was

535
00:50:36.160 --> 00:50:41.520
younger, you know, when I was like 18, 19, 20, 25, whatever, I didn't think it was possible. I

536
00:50:41.520 --> 00:50:46.720
thought that everyone was pretending that they, you know, that they were happy. But as I got older

537
00:50:46.720 --> 00:50:52.560
and as I started to realise that I'm a bit fucked up, it became more and more clear to me that actually

538
00:50:52.560 --> 00:50:57.280
had the circumstances of my earlier life been slightly different. I wouldn't be the way that I am

539
00:50:57.280 --> 00:51:01.040
and I wouldn't want the things that I think I want and I wouldn't get the contentment and stability

540
00:51:01.040 --> 00:51:06.480
from the pursuit of things. And so it's plausible if you even look at your siblings, you go,

541
00:51:06.560 --> 00:51:12.640
well how are we also different? Like, you know, why am I working seven days a week every single day

542
00:51:13.440 --> 00:51:18.160
and some of my siblings choose not to? It's because we have different wiring and we get happiness

543
00:51:18.160 --> 00:51:24.960
from different things. And some of the things they do, I go, I kind of hate that. My brain would be

544
00:51:24.960 --> 00:51:33.360
going crazy thinking about email. You don't think Sarah can be happy. I don't think Sarah is happy

545
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:38.800
watching Netflix and on social media. I think that there is a deep sense of insecurity

546
00:51:39.440 --> 00:51:47.840
and lack of contentment that's guised as unhappy and that's guised as or covered of

547
00:51:48.560 --> 00:51:57.440
it's almost like a facade. I'm going to say that I'm happy. But the realities of our economy

548
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:04.400
and the realities of her financial situation create dependencies for Sarah. It creates dependencies

549
00:52:05.120 --> 00:52:10.320
and with those dependencies, what I found is that the things that you are dependent upon

550
00:52:11.120 --> 00:52:16.640
at some level you will end up resenting. If I'm dependent upon my one customer in my business

551
00:52:16.640 --> 00:52:20.800
and they make up 80% of my revenue, sure, it's great when I sign that deal. It's really sucky

552
00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:26.400
when that customer ends up being a jerk because now I'm dependent upon them, 80% of my revenue until

553
00:52:26.880 --> 00:52:30.720
I'm not dependent upon them because I've diversified my revenue and I've been able to bring

554
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:38.240
on other customers because I was able to market my business and acquire an audience. And so with Sarah,

555
00:52:39.520 --> 00:52:46.880
I would ask if the median household income is around $60,000 shy of $70,000 a year,

556
00:52:47.840 --> 00:52:53.440
what is Sarah dependent upon to be able to afford the Netflix subscription and when she scrolls

557
00:52:53.440 --> 00:52:58.320
on TikTok shop and wants to be able to be like everybody else who's living these cool lives doing

558
00:52:58.320 --> 00:53:04.160
these glamorous influencer events or whatever she's into. Whatever is so captivating to her that's

559
00:53:04.160 --> 00:53:09.760
making her watch this instead of go out and do those things, apply the makeup. How many makeup

560
00:53:09.760 --> 00:53:16.800
tutorials do women watch without ever even applying the makeup or using the tools and the products?

561
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:20.480
It's just because they're distracted. I'm wondering if this is a consequence of the internet,

562
00:53:21.120 --> 00:53:25.920
this perspective, because in my head I was skipping back through the through 50 years and then

563
00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:29.920
a hundred years and then I was going back further. I was like, you know, what's the human sort of

564
00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:36.000
wiring a thousand years ago when wealth didn't exist. Like wealth was what you could carry.

565
00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:39.360
There was no such thing as bank account or money. So I was as wealthy as what I could carry and

566
00:53:39.360 --> 00:53:44.240
actually maybe, as I think Naval said this before, the only currency back then which still persists

567
00:53:44.240 --> 00:53:48.320
and actually wealth is just a proxy of his status. Status is always meant survival. It means that I get

568
00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:53.120
the resources I get the mates, but wealth isn't it's construct that actually the mind understands.

569
00:53:53.120 --> 00:53:57.600
But in the last 20, 30 years because of social media, we've all been sort of, I guess,

570
00:53:57.600 --> 00:54:04.720
wide in a way to believe that material possessions like the yacht or the follow account is

571
00:54:05.920 --> 00:54:13.040
of utmost importance. Maybe it's just a proxy of like, I belong to, I belong and I'm not at risk.

572
00:54:13.040 --> 00:54:18.240
Maybe it's a proxy of status. I think it's a proxy of survival. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

573
00:54:18.800 --> 00:54:24.080
So I'm wondering if like, if we've just been wired for the last 20 years to believe that we need

574
00:54:24.720 --> 00:54:29.440
these things because of the environment that we're in, but actually like prehistoricly it doesn't

575
00:54:29.440 --> 00:54:36.000
make sense that we would we would care about. So pursuit, I think, is like really hardwired

576
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:39.840
into us. So I was like, we wouldn't have these cameras in this house and stuff. So clearly,

577
00:54:39.840 --> 00:54:44.160
my ancestors were like, why to pursue things into build, but they were also most certainly

578
00:54:44.160 --> 00:54:49.760
wide to depend. Like, I think this might be one of the real problems with society at the moment

579
00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:55.680
is that we're all pursuing independence. You know, like I think this is a bit of a problem.

580
00:54:55.680 --> 00:54:59.840
I think about this quite a lot actually. Like the decline in faith and the decline in community

581
00:54:59.840 --> 00:55:03.920
institutions and the decline in people having kids and family. I'm like, we're really becoming

582
00:55:03.920 --> 00:55:11.840
really individualistic and I'm not sure that's within our nature. See, I think survival has to

583
00:55:11.840 --> 00:55:16.560
depend upon other people. It's not just my survival. Once I've handled my survival,

584
00:55:18.240 --> 00:55:24.240
the amount of money that I make, it instantly goes to the problems that come with other people's

585
00:55:24.240 --> 00:55:31.680
survival, whether that's a family member, a group of friends, and how far out that expands.

586
00:55:32.240 --> 00:55:38.080
I don't think that changed 200 years ago or 2000 years ago. The ability to accumulate things to

587
00:55:38.080 --> 00:55:43.680
better prepare yourself in a harvest, better prepare yourself in a time of drought to actually

588
00:55:43.680 --> 00:55:50.000
sustain and make it through to really survive. And the more contacts that you have, the more you

589
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:54.720
are setting yourself up to survive, the more people who know you, even though it's a little bit

590
00:55:54.720 --> 00:56:00.880
of a status symbol, it's actually a survival mechanism for you because millions of people across

591
00:56:00.880 --> 00:56:05.360
the globe at any point in time that you have a problem, you have built enough trust and credibility

592
00:56:05.360 --> 00:56:09.760
with them for them to be interested in helping you. So it's actually a survival point. Now, of

593
00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:14.560
course, you can run the spectrum of the survival and say, well, is the additional millionth follower,

594
00:56:14.560 --> 00:56:20.480
the additional two million followers actually leading to more survival? I would argue that potentially,

595
00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:25.840
but what else could you be able to impact if you were thinking about the survival of you,

596
00:56:25.840 --> 00:56:31.600
of your family, of the people that depend on you, your team that's here, like you are creating

597
00:56:31.600 --> 00:56:37.520
abundance so that other people can survive through what you have created and you pursuing your

598
00:56:37.520 --> 00:56:44.080
own survival and then having the second order be the group around you, family, the employees,

599
00:56:44.080 --> 00:56:48.080
the other groups that you were a part of that you contribute to and whatever ways you do.

600
00:56:48.080 --> 00:56:53.440
And then those concepts go further out to what can you actually be responsible for for its survival?

601
00:56:53.440 --> 00:56:58.720
What's interesting is this approach to sort of one's survival and one's prosperity is

602
00:56:58.720 --> 00:57:03.840
resulting in us having going through a genetic extinction because people are not having

603
00:57:03.840 --> 00:57:09.840
kids anymore. So Sarah, scrolling on Netflix with our four kids is actually genetically surviving

604
00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:13.120
and all these people that are focused on independence and how much money I can make,

605
00:57:13.120 --> 00:57:16.960
they're genetically becoming extinct. That's fascinating. I'm basically playing

606
00:57:16.960 --> 00:57:20.640
devil's advocate with myself because if you observe my life clearly, this is a massive contradiction,

607
00:57:20.640 --> 00:57:25.520
but it's something that's been front of mind for me at the moment is this idea of dependence

608
00:57:25.680 --> 00:57:28.720
and independence. Obviously, I'm approaching the season of life where I'm going to have kids

609
00:57:29.600 --> 00:57:34.960
and there's going to be trade-offs that I have to make that I do make, but I guess we shall see

610
00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:40.560
what happens. Do you think people respect you a lot more now at 33 than they did when you were

611
00:57:42.640 --> 00:57:51.120
in 2019? Of course they do. And what should someone do that is looking to earn the respect?

612
00:57:51.120 --> 00:57:54.400
Some of that feels like they're continually disrespected. There's something about them,

613
00:57:54.400 --> 00:57:58.960
there's something in the way they carry themselves. They continually feel like people are disrespecting

614
00:57:58.960 --> 00:58:04.000
them. They might work in a business or they might be low down in a company or maybe they're not,

615
00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:06.560
maybe they're just someone who's gone through the corporate world and they continually

616
00:58:06.560 --> 00:58:10.640
disrespected. What would you say they should do to earn people's respect?

617
00:58:10.640 --> 00:58:15.440
The first thing somebody has to do in order to earn respect is to decide that they would rather be

618
00:58:15.440 --> 00:58:22.240
respected than liked. That trade-off is made too often. We're in a situation when the right

619
00:58:22.240 --> 00:58:28.160
respectful thing to do is unlikable. We don't choose the right respectful thing to do. We

620
00:58:28.160 --> 00:58:36.800
prioritize being liked. And so when you make that decision to be respected and to not prioritize

621
00:58:36.800 --> 00:58:42.080
what everybody thinks about you, you can then transition into the second step, which is you have

622
00:58:42.080 --> 00:58:47.360
to get stats in the area that you want respect in. If you're low in an organization or you have

623
00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:51.840
people around you who don't respect you for a variety of different reasons,

624
00:58:51.840 --> 00:58:58.000
what is the area of your expertise that is undeniable? It's proof. It exists in the physical

625
00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:01.840
universe. It's not just because you had an idea. You think you can be an entrepreneur or you'd like

626
00:59:01.840 --> 00:59:08.400
to be someone who gives people relationship advice. I'm sorry, but if you're not in a relationship

627
00:59:08.400 --> 00:59:13.440
and you don't have a stat of being able to have a good relationship and you can't have a spouse

628
00:59:13.440 --> 00:59:18.000
that's like, wow, this person's great. I love being around this person. You probably shouldn't

629
00:59:18.000 --> 00:59:23.120
be giving that advice. And that's why you don't have respect in that area. So I don't think respect

630
00:59:23.120 --> 00:59:29.840
is a overall life respect. You need to have respect in the different compartments. It's not just

631
00:59:29.840 --> 00:59:35.520
Stephen as a respectable person altogether. That's a facade to me. You might not be respectable

632
00:59:35.520 --> 00:59:40.880
in certain areas. I maybe shouldn't respect you in certain areas of your life. But other areas,

633
00:59:40.880 --> 00:59:46.240
I would think areas that you've prioritized, you're incredibly respectable in and you've

634
00:59:46.240 --> 00:59:52.000
prioritized getting stats and proof in those areas to earn people's respect whether they like you

635
00:59:52.000 --> 00:59:56.320
or not because you have something to prove for it. Has that been a journey for you? This idea of

636
00:59:57.040 --> 01:00:00.800
caring less about being liked because you talked about that earlier as being really central to

637
01:00:00.800 --> 01:00:07.280
your early 20s, etc. It was so hard for me to not want to be liked. I had a mom growing up who

638
01:00:07.920 --> 01:00:14.640
was a medical doctor and just was the world's most sweet, kind, thoughtful person. She would

639
01:00:14.640 --> 01:00:20.400
sit down at a party and every single person in that room loved her immediately. She just had

640
01:00:20.400 --> 01:00:27.280
this aura about her. And so I watched my mom growing up as a role model and somebody who still

641
01:00:27.280 --> 01:00:34.880
to me today is a role model. And she really emphasized how important it is to ask great questions

642
01:00:35.040 --> 01:00:43.280
and to be engaged with other people. And what I lost in that process is, well, if I'm always asking

643
01:00:43.280 --> 01:00:49.440
other people and trying to get other people to like me and it's always that flow, what do I

644
01:00:49.440 --> 01:00:55.280
actually think about myself? Because I'm so focused on over accommodating others. And so if you're

645
01:00:55.280 --> 01:01:04.480
trying to flip this for yourself, you're trying to go from, I over index on being liked and not so

646
01:01:04.480 --> 01:01:11.440
over index on being respectable and liking what I think about myself. You really have to go out to

647
01:01:12.080 --> 01:01:16.480
your three-year version of yourself and your five-year version of yourself because no one is

648
01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:22.480
going to get clear on that for you besides you. And once you put that stake in the ground saying,

649
01:01:22.480 --> 01:01:26.480
this is what I want to be known for. This is who I want to become. This is who I imagine myself

650
01:01:26.480 --> 01:01:32.720
being. This isn't a manifestation practice. I'm going to decide who that person is. And then I'm

651
01:01:32.720 --> 01:01:39.680
going to like myself at 20 at 30 at 70 because I'm acting in accordance with the way that I view

652
01:01:39.680 --> 01:01:44.720
myself in the future and I'm going to become the person that I want to be. Have you found that

653
01:01:44.720 --> 01:01:51.520
you've had to reinforce and protect your boundaries in order to earn that respect? Do you find that

654
01:01:51.520 --> 01:01:57.600
people try and test you? Of course they do. I work with hundreds of team members every single day who

655
01:01:58.240 --> 01:02:03.760
have their own points of view and their own perspectives on what they want the work to look like,

656
01:02:03.760 --> 01:02:10.560
what they want our culture to look like. And I think I've had to wrestle with this so much

657
01:02:10.560 --> 01:02:15.920
because I want to create an environment where people can be successful. My definition of

658
01:02:15.920 --> 01:02:20.560
leadership is making other people's success easy. So if I'm going to be a leader,

659
01:02:21.280 --> 01:02:25.600
I'm going to make other people's success easy. How would I go about doing that? What type of

660
01:02:25.600 --> 01:02:30.960
environment would they need to be in in order to actually make their success easy compared to their

661
01:02:30.960 --> 01:02:35.280
alternative, which is going down the street and trusting that some other leaders going to make them

662
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:41.760
more successful? And so I really wrestle with who I need to be and what the boundaries are that I set

663
01:02:41.760 --> 01:02:49.040
for myself. And one of the things I've gotten so much criticism of online was when I publicly

664
01:02:49.040 --> 01:02:54.560
shared a TikTok about firing somebody because I found out that she was cheating on her significant

665
01:02:54.560 --> 01:02:59.680
other and the other person also had a significant other. And as soon as I found out about it,

666
01:02:59.680 --> 01:03:04.480
I terminated both of them immediately. And it's so shocking to people that...

667
01:03:04.480 --> 01:03:09.040
Wait, someone was cheating with someone in the company. Yeah. And they both had partners outside

668
01:03:09.040 --> 01:03:12.640
of the company. Both had partners outside of the company. And as soon as I caught wind of it,

669
01:03:12.640 --> 01:03:18.720
it wasn't even like a split second decision. Well, I guess it technically was split second

670
01:03:18.720 --> 01:03:23.840
decisions. Like I can't have this in my environment, especially somebody close around me. People

671
01:03:23.840 --> 01:03:30.720
trust me and should trust any leader to help them mate their success easy. Am I making people

672
01:03:30.720 --> 01:03:38.960
success easy by putting inside that environment? People who are going to erode the values of the

673
01:03:38.960 --> 01:03:44.720
group. No, success for most people isn't getting a divorce from their significant other. Success

674
01:03:44.720 --> 01:03:50.560
for most people looks like figuring out how to have the success in their professional lives and

675
01:03:50.560 --> 01:03:55.840
in their financial lives while also being able to have a spouse. I wouldn't want my husband going

676
01:03:55.840 --> 01:04:01.280
out to work and being in an environment where the company was just fine with people cheating on

677
01:04:01.280 --> 01:04:06.560
each other, lying to each other and not having an echo of ethics, doing drugs. Like none of that

678
01:04:06.560 --> 01:04:11.520
is something that I want inside my environment because it's my job to make people's success easy.

679
01:04:11.520 --> 01:04:14.560
One would say that's not your business what they're doing when they go home.

680
01:04:15.360 --> 01:04:18.720
That is my business. First of all, because it was with each other.

681
01:04:19.760 --> 01:04:23.840
Yeah, but they're not doing it at work. Well, there was a

682
01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:29.280
not to get into specifics of the particular event, but it happened to be around work related.

683
01:04:29.280 --> 01:04:33.760
But if it wasn't at work, you still wouldn't. Even if it was, I would fire the person immediately.

684
01:04:33.760 --> 01:04:38.160
So you'd fire someone for cheating on their partner? Absolutely. I can't have cheaters. If they're

685
01:04:38.160 --> 01:04:40.640
going to cheat on the person they're supposed to spend the rest of their life with, do you think

686
01:04:40.640 --> 01:04:44.720
that they're cheating on their work? Do you think that they're going to cheat on our clients?

687
01:04:44.720 --> 01:04:48.640
Do you think that they're going to have the ethics and morals and judgment to not be so

688
01:04:48.640 --> 01:04:52.880
distracted with their own personal ethics situation that they can actually focus and do a good job?

689
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:58.160
That person in any environment is a liability to the environment. It's a complete liability.

690
01:04:58.800 --> 01:05:04.800
Some people have things in their personal life which are very different to the way that they

691
01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:08.000
show up professionally, though. People, people, all kinds of things in their personal life.

692
01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:12.480
It's terrifying. Because, listen, the way that I see it is if I expand the scope of my

693
01:05:15.440 --> 01:05:20.800
concerns, I'm going to get fucking nothing done. So if I start going into who they

694
01:05:22.000 --> 01:05:24.720
at home with and in bed with and what's going on in their personal life,

695
01:05:24.720 --> 01:05:27.600
unless they bring it to be obviously when you're the founder or the CEO, people bring

696
01:05:27.600 --> 01:05:34.160
you stuff and they say, look, this is going to impact my work. But I don't want to be,

697
01:05:34.320 --> 01:05:37.840
I don't want to be the government of your fucking personal situations as well.

698
01:05:37.840 --> 01:05:39.040
So is it doesn't chop in the office?

699
01:05:40.640 --> 01:05:45.440
If you've ever worked in a startup, you already know it's chaos. It's speed and it is survival.

700
01:05:45.440 --> 01:05:48.720
And now with AI accelerating everything, that speed has only increased.

701
01:05:48.720 --> 01:05:53.440
Startups are landing enterprise deals even earlier than before. But what comes with those deals

702
01:05:53.440 --> 01:05:58.720
is regulatory requirements. Something a lot of early stage businesses aren't equipped to handle.

703
01:05:58.720 --> 01:06:03.680
And a sock too, if you know what that means, isn't always enough. When having the right kind of

704
01:06:03.680 --> 01:06:08.720
security is the difference between making a deal or breaking a deal, you need to have a plan

705
01:06:08.720 --> 01:06:13.600
in place. Vanta, who are a sponsor of this podcast, have an AI and automation system that makes it

706
01:06:13.600 --> 01:06:18.080
easier to meet buyer expectations in just days. And they continuously wanted to your compliance

707
01:06:18.080 --> 01:06:23.200
so any future deals are never blocked. With AI changing regulations, their team knows exactly

708
01:06:23.200 --> 01:06:27.760
what's needed and when it's needed. And they've built the fastest and easiest path to get you

709
01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:32.480
there. If you're running a startup and this appeals to you, you can visit vanta.com slash CEO

710
01:06:32.480 --> 01:06:38.160
and get a thousand dollars off. That's vanta.com slash CEO for one thousand dollars off.

711
01:06:39.680 --> 01:06:46.240
If I'm thinking of studying a business in 2025, you know, you've spoken to thousands and thousands

712
01:06:46.240 --> 01:06:49.920
and thousands of business owners that online probably many millions of business owners.

713
01:06:52.320 --> 01:06:57.280
When we think about that initial period of like coming up with the idea and picking what to work on,

714
01:06:57.280 --> 01:07:00.880
is there any advice you'd give people based on the success and failure you've seen about what

715
01:07:01.040 --> 01:07:05.280
they should aim at, what they should work on, especially in the context of like 2025 when so much

716
01:07:05.280 --> 01:07:12.800
in the world is changing so quickly. If they could use the frame, if any business owner or potential

717
01:07:12.800 --> 01:07:18.320
business owner could think about starting a business from the standpoint of where is there the

718
01:07:18.320 --> 01:07:24.640
greatest chance for me to be successful? That is the best frame to use. Unfortunately, most do not

719
01:07:24.640 --> 01:07:28.560
use that frame and they base it off of their existing experience and the skills that they have.

720
01:07:29.520 --> 01:07:34.880
If it was not based off of existing experience or skills that somebody has, I think great AI

721
01:07:34.880 --> 01:07:42.560
is going to be the great leveler because nobody has a lot of experience in AI. Nobody knows

722
01:07:42.560 --> 01:07:48.000
in small businesses across America how to hook up automations and start working with assistance

723
01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:54.080
to be able to put small businesses onto a CRM system or an operating system that connects to

724
01:07:54.080 --> 01:07:58.240
their financial software that allows the business owner to make great decisions. No one has done this

725
01:07:58.320 --> 01:08:04.400
at scale because it didn't exist. If I was starting a business in 2025, I would absolutely look at

726
01:08:04.400 --> 01:08:09.760
how do I help business owners who have an infinite budget for things that actually work to make

727
01:08:09.760 --> 01:08:15.600
them more money, solve problems that are real to them and the problems that are real to the 35

728
01:08:15.600 --> 01:08:19.840
million business owners in the United States of America so that they don't know how to use AI.

729
01:08:19.840 --> 01:08:26.720
They are terrified of AI and they're going to either put their head in the sand or assume that

730
01:08:26.720 --> 01:08:32.080
somebody who is young is going to create the solution for them. When somebody instead who is

731
01:08:32.080 --> 01:08:39.760
experienced could have a eight, maybe even a nine-figure business over the course of the next 18 to

732
01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:46.320
24 months, really figuring out how to help solve these problems because it makes the business owner

733
01:08:46.960 --> 01:08:51.680
to that business incredibly sticky. The customer is always going to be there and they would be on

734
01:08:51.680 --> 01:08:56.560
the front end of something that nobody has experience in. So do you think a lot about the speed in which

735
01:08:56.560 --> 01:09:01.920
that market is growing when you think about where to set up shop and start a business? Of course.

736
01:09:01.920 --> 01:09:10.560
The market growth is everything because if you want to start a paper business in 2025,

737
01:09:10.560 --> 01:09:17.680
you would have to be the best paper business and really have a unique positioning to make that

738
01:09:17.680 --> 01:09:23.520
successful when you could do something less well and be much more successful because there's just

739
01:09:23.520 --> 01:09:28.640
more opportunity in the growth and there's less players in markets. So the growth allows for

740
01:09:28.640 --> 01:09:37.280
innovation. The growth allows for new entrants and as I mentioned with AI, there's just an unprecedented

741
01:09:37.280 --> 01:09:41.760
opportunity in front of people right now. But I'm also very excited about service-based businesses,

742
01:09:42.560 --> 01:09:50.480
roofers, plumbers, electricians, HVAC. All of those businesses, the core of the business doesn't get

743
01:09:50.480 --> 01:09:59.360
disrupted by AI until robots. But those business operations are ripe for somebody to come in.

744
01:09:59.360 --> 01:10:05.120
I don't care if you're 15 years old or if you're 50 years old and get paid tens of thousands of

745
01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:12.000
dollars per client to implement very simple solutions that really do solve problems for those businesses.

746
01:10:13.200 --> 01:10:18.800
Using AI. Using AI. I heard you talk about when you described the six most profitable businesses that

747
01:10:18.800 --> 01:10:23.520
you think will be around in 2026. We talked about AI businesses, talked about home services,

748
01:10:23.520 --> 01:10:30.480
the other one was hybrid wellness clubs. Why is health such a big prediction for you in terms

749
01:10:30.480 --> 01:10:35.600
of profitability in a good place to set up shop? There's growth in the health space after COVID,

750
01:10:35.600 --> 01:10:40.880
the whole world changed and their priorities changed as it relates to health. The statistics I

751
01:10:40.880 --> 01:10:46.400
read recently about alcohol sales connected to like night clubs. It's just it's not what it used to be

752
01:10:46.400 --> 01:10:51.360
because instead of wanting to go out late and party and do all sorts of things, people are

753
01:10:51.360 --> 01:10:57.680
actually prioritizing their health and providing them with solutions for optimizing their health

754
01:10:58.240 --> 01:11:05.200
is just it's continued to grow for ever since COVID and it's going to continue to grow with

755
01:11:05.200 --> 01:11:11.760
different types of amenities at gyms with different types of technology that people are inserting

756
01:11:11.760 --> 01:11:19.360
into what a traditional I one time I recently went to a facial my favorite thing my hobby. I want

757
01:11:19.360 --> 01:11:26.560
to get a 60 minute facial and they integrated IV services into that facial experience. Well,

758
01:11:26.560 --> 01:11:33.520
what else could you do that allows somebody who is sitting in a chair for 60 minutes to add

759
01:11:34.080 --> 01:11:38.880
revenue to that business that's connected to their health and well-being. Those types of

760
01:11:38.880 --> 01:11:43.840
innovations are happening in small markets all across the world. And why did you say in that video

761
01:11:43.840 --> 01:11:48.560
pet care? People love their pets and people will spend money on their pets. People will spend more

762
01:11:48.560 --> 01:11:54.080
money on their pets than they'll spend on their kids and then they'll spend on themselves. I mean,

763
01:11:54.080 --> 01:12:02.080
if somebody has a dog I recently talked to somebody who told me that she was doing rakey with her

764
01:12:02.080 --> 01:12:08.640
12 dogs. I mean, it's just the level of interest that people have in taking care of their pets.

765
01:12:08.640 --> 01:12:13.600
I think what's happened in that market play specifically is as business owners and

766
01:12:14.160 --> 01:12:20.320
high-income earners make more money and they do have these pets, these things that are dependent

767
01:12:20.320 --> 01:12:28.000
upon them that aren't yet children. They want to spend their discretionary income on making that

768
01:12:28.320 --> 01:12:38.720
pooch that is their new best friend, Fido, comfortable making him be well through all sorts of

769
01:12:38.720 --> 01:12:47.120
offerings because I feel bad and it can actually pay off my guilt by providing Fido with a caretaker

770
01:12:47.120 --> 01:12:57.120
and nail polish and EMF therapies. And the other thing that I think is particularly

771
01:12:57.120 --> 01:13:00.640
pertinent to the experience you've had is some of the small business owners will come up to me

772
01:13:00.640 --> 01:13:07.280
and say that they won't say it like this but what they're describing is that they're a bottleneck

773
01:13:07.280 --> 01:13:11.200
in their own business. They're at maybe, I don't know, a million in revenue. I mean, most people

774
01:13:11.200 --> 01:13:15.520
that come up to me say this exact same thing. They've reached about a million in revenue in total

775
01:13:15.520 --> 01:13:20.400
and they don't know how to scale beyond their typically like service-based businesses where

776
01:13:20.400 --> 01:13:26.080
someone's doing a service for a client and what would you say to those people when you've encountered

777
01:13:26.640 --> 01:13:33.600
in your company? Welcome to being an entrepreneur. This is not a unique set of challenges. This is

778
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:39.840
an expected set of challenges. The statistics show that the challenges that business owners face

779
01:13:39.840 --> 01:13:48.560
at that break point of taking what they are doing that is working and transitioning that to having

780
01:13:48.560 --> 01:13:53.840
other people help them is part of the process. And so there is nothing wrong with this business

781
01:13:53.840 --> 01:14:00.160
owner. It's just that they don't technically know how to train somebody to do what they do well

782
01:14:00.160 --> 01:14:04.560
that then allows the business owner to focus on the business owner's primary role and that primary

783
01:14:04.560 --> 01:14:10.240
role should be to generate revenue. It shouldn't be the dentist being in the person's mouth. You cannot

784
01:14:10.240 --> 01:14:16.560
have 12 dental clinics and still be the person that is helping the person floss and making sure

785
01:14:16.560 --> 01:14:23.120
that they're flossing. Mostly hygienists help dentists with that but you have to get out of the

786
01:14:23.760 --> 01:14:28.560
doing of your business and you have to get into the scaling of the operations of your business

787
01:14:28.560 --> 01:14:32.080
and those are just skills that you don't currently have. And what is that skill? What is the

788
01:14:32.080 --> 01:14:37.360
core skill there? It's a tactical skill and the skill is opening up their calendar,

789
01:14:38.400 --> 01:14:44.800
looking at what they do every single day, duplicating through process creation, what it is that they

790
01:14:44.800 --> 01:14:49.840
do that makes them a special snowflake in their mind because every business owner thinks that they're

791
01:14:49.840 --> 01:14:53.520
the only person that can talk to their customer. They're the only person that their clients will

792
01:14:53.520 --> 01:14:57.680
listen to. Nobody is ever going to be able to service their patient like them. That's what they

793
01:14:57.680 --> 01:15:01.600
think. And so they create those conditions. Instead of saying, no, I'm going to objectively look

794
01:15:01.600 --> 01:15:07.120
at where I spend my time. And out of all the things that I do across a 50 hour work week,

795
01:15:07.120 --> 01:15:12.560
there are specific things that are not the highest value for me to continue to do. But I would have

796
01:15:12.560 --> 01:15:18.560
to train somebody how to do that thing flawlessly. It is not about hiring somebody who's going to

797
01:15:18.560 --> 01:15:23.520
know how to do that thing. That's where they fail. And then they lose confidence because they think

798
01:15:23.520 --> 01:15:29.200
some magical unicorn employee is just going to come into their lives and take this thing that only

799
01:15:29.200 --> 01:15:34.720
know they know how to do and actually be able to do it. Of course they can't. So it's this reinforcing

800
01:15:34.720 --> 01:15:40.240
thought that they have instead of structuring it to say out of these things, these are the specific

801
01:15:40.320 --> 01:15:44.480
parts of the business that I want to remove off of my plates. So that in three months from now,

802
01:15:44.480 --> 01:15:49.760
I do not touch these processes. In order to do that, I'm going to document what I do,

803
01:15:50.320 --> 01:15:55.760
ideally using a framework like vision commitment execution so that it doesn't just get reduced

804
01:15:55.760 --> 01:16:01.280
down to steps. But so that team members can understand the why behind it, what the organization

805
01:16:01.280 --> 01:16:05.440
is committed to, what the team member needs to commit back to. And then actually execute on

806
01:16:05.520 --> 01:16:11.520
whatever that process is. And instead of just handing that person those items in an onboarding

807
01:16:11.520 --> 01:16:16.320
and maybe never checking it again, you're going to go through a four step process. First,

808
01:16:16.320 --> 01:16:21.920
you're going to tell the person what they're supposed to do a process. Ideally, then you show them

809
01:16:21.920 --> 01:16:26.720
what they're supposed to do so that they can see how this applies in real life. It's not just

810
01:16:26.720 --> 01:16:33.520
something on a document. Then you're going to let them do that thing and you are going to coach

811
01:16:33.680 --> 01:16:38.240
them and provide them feedback on doing that thing. So when you can see that you've properly

812
01:16:38.240 --> 01:16:44.240
trained somebody and you've switched your mindset from just assuming that adults learn the same

813
01:16:44.240 --> 01:16:48.880
way that we used to learn when we were children, which is just by picking it up and figuring it out,

814
01:16:49.440 --> 01:16:54.080
you're going to give them a full structure. Tell me, show me, let me coach me on the most important

815
01:16:54.080 --> 01:16:57.840
things that they need to be onboarded with. And then you are going to actually measure that they're

816
01:16:57.840 --> 01:17:02.320
able to do those things in the way that you were able to do that so that that role inside your

817
01:17:02.320 --> 01:17:08.800
business is handled. And then you just do that over and over and over again. So often when

818
01:17:08.800 --> 01:17:13.680
people are having this conversation with me about this, they say, oh, I tried that and I brought

819
01:17:13.680 --> 01:17:18.800
someone in and they fucked up. And so yeah, I'm just going to do it myself. That's like the

820
01:17:18.800 --> 01:17:22.240
rebuttal that I always get. It's always people saying, when I tried that, I trusted someone,

821
01:17:22.240 --> 01:17:28.080
they fucked me over. So that doesn't work. What responsibility can they take in the interview

822
01:17:28.160 --> 01:17:32.800
process? What responsibility can they take in the onboarding process? Did they actually show

823
01:17:32.800 --> 01:17:36.480
that person what they're supposed to do? Did they ensure that the person knew what to do?

824
01:17:36.480 --> 01:17:40.480
Do you think most people are bad at hiring? Of course they are. People are terrible at hiring.

825
01:17:40.480 --> 01:17:44.960
Why do they get wrong? Like, what are the biases that they end up consuming that process that make

826
01:17:44.960 --> 01:17:48.880
them make a bad decision? I don't think they really understand what the work is that they're trying

827
01:17:48.880 --> 01:17:55.680
to get that person to do. So they Google a job description, they chat GPT or use GROC to put a

828
01:17:55.680 --> 01:18:00.640
job description that isn't actually connected to the real outcomes in the role. I can imagine if you

829
01:18:00.640 --> 01:18:05.920
posted for a marketing position inside your business, for you marketing looks like lots of different

830
01:18:05.920 --> 01:18:09.680
things. Yeah. For the average business owner, I'm just going to I need somebody to help me with

831
01:18:09.680 --> 01:18:14.240
marketing. They don't even know what they're hiring for. Yeah. No. So then the person comes in with a

832
01:18:14.240 --> 01:18:19.680
certain set of experiences and they are going to drive based off of their experiences. Whatever they

833
01:18:19.680 --> 01:18:23.280
think the outcomes are for their role inside that business because the owner never took their

834
01:18:23.280 --> 01:18:28.080
responsibility to say, this is how I'm going to objectively measure. Was this person successful

835
01:18:28.080 --> 01:18:32.480
based off of the fact that the marketing that we do for our plumbing business that's doing

836
01:18:32.480 --> 01:18:38.080
$800,000 of revenue is actually email marketing. So what if I don't know the right type of marketing?

837
01:18:38.080 --> 01:18:42.480
Because I'm a plumber. I don't know about the fact in marketing. So I'm going to be very easily

838
01:18:42.480 --> 01:18:49.200
duped by someone that tells me that they know marketing. What do I do to minimize the probability

839
01:18:49.200 --> 01:18:55.440
of me being duped? Well, the good news is if you are a plumber currently and you're doing let's say

840
01:18:55.440 --> 01:19:01.920
$800,000 of revenue, you figured out marketing for $800,000 of revenue. So the first thing in order

841
01:19:01.920 --> 01:19:06.800
to not be duped would be ensuring that the person that you're bringing on can at least do what you

842
01:19:06.800 --> 01:19:11.440
are doing and they can duplicate what you are doing. Now, once they have demonstrated to you that

843
01:19:11.440 --> 01:19:16.800
they can take on those tasks for that $800,000. They are competent. They understand the business.

844
01:19:16.800 --> 01:19:21.200
They understand who your customer is because you force them to because you documented what you did

845
01:19:21.200 --> 01:19:25.520
to get the first $800 and maybe that's even referrals. Great. What is your referral process?

846
01:19:25.520 --> 01:19:32.080
And how then once they've been able to master what you created a model for. I like to call this the

847
01:19:32.080 --> 01:19:38.960
4M's model mimic master multiply. The business owner can first create the model of what they're

848
01:19:38.960 --> 01:19:44.080
doing today that's generating the $800,000 of revenue in their plumbing business. I take a model.

849
01:19:44.080 --> 01:19:48.320
I have the model. This is what we are doing for email marketing inside our business.

850
01:19:48.960 --> 01:19:57.280
Then I move into seeing if they can mimic what is the behavior to then move into mastering it.

851
01:19:57.280 --> 01:20:04.080
And once somebody is at mastering something inside a plumbing business for $800,000 a year that

852
01:20:04.080 --> 01:20:09.600
is generating, they can then start to tweak and add things in and maybe we could also try one

853
01:20:09.840 --> 01:20:15.600
other thing. We're going to try Instagram marketing because we know that our plumbing clients

854
01:20:15.600 --> 01:20:19.920
are on Instagram and we're going to have this strategy here. So now I'm going to be able to

855
01:20:19.920 --> 01:20:25.360
add to that at which point when a team member can go through those first 3M's model mimic master,

856
01:20:26.080 --> 01:20:32.880
then they're in a position to multiply their role because if they really did master something,

857
01:20:32.880 --> 01:20:38.240
the results would show that to indicate that the business is ready for them to add potentially

858
01:20:38.240 --> 01:20:43.280
a marketing coordinator underneath the marketing manager that can then go through those first

859
01:20:43.280 --> 01:20:49.040
three steps of the process while the team member who was once responsible for those things

860
01:20:49.040 --> 01:20:53.920
is no longer doing those things but as being additive to additional types of marketing inside

861
01:20:53.920 --> 01:21:00.960
that business. The other thing that I often wonder is if people aim too low with talent, especially

862
01:21:00.960 --> 01:21:05.600
like earlier stage founders. They tend to be a bit of insecurity there and they don't want

863
01:21:06.000 --> 01:21:13.600
someone to come in and tell them what to do in a particular domain because I think the further

864
01:21:13.600 --> 01:21:17.200
I've got in my career, the more I've sought out people that are like significantly smarter than me

865
01:21:17.200 --> 01:21:23.200
and I see that as the game but in the early innings of my career, I think I was hiring people I could

866
01:21:23.200 --> 01:21:28.560
manage. Do you think you weren't as successful when you were hiring people you could manage?

867
01:21:28.560 --> 01:21:35.520
100% because now you're able to bring on talent to help you bring on whole new lines of revenue

868
01:21:35.520 --> 01:21:39.280
whole new partnerships, business opportunities, manage those things.

869
01:21:41.280 --> 01:21:46.320
Yeah. In the early innings of my career, I was particularly aiming at young people that were like

870
01:21:46.320 --> 01:21:52.320
my age or younger because I was what I was what 20. How the hell am I going to bring in a 45-year-old

871
01:21:52.320 --> 01:21:58.800
that's been doing this for 25 years and being able to tell them anything? Which was the fault

872
01:21:58.800 --> 01:22:02.320
in my thinking because I thought my job was to tell them what to do and to give them the vision

873
01:22:02.720 --> 01:22:06.880
but actually as I think got more secure in myself, I realized that the game is the inverse which is

874
01:22:07.520 --> 01:22:11.760
trying to find truly exceptional people that know things I don't know and create the conditions

875
01:22:11.760 --> 01:22:17.200
where their knowledge is adds to the hive mind of the decisions of this organization.

876
01:22:18.320 --> 01:22:22.320
And actually that's what we need. We need new thinking, new experiences.

877
01:22:22.320 --> 01:22:27.360
I think that's important once you reach 30 million dollars of revenue but until

878
01:22:28.000 --> 01:22:36.880
you as the founder can generate something that you can prove works and you can replicate what works.

879
01:22:37.760 --> 01:22:45.760
You open yourself up to significant risk and the stats show it. The majority of businesses, 97%

880
01:22:45.760 --> 01:22:51.920
of businesses fail within 10 years. So by trusting or thinking that you're going to bring on

881
01:22:51.920 --> 01:22:56.160
somebody who's smarter than you, you're not actually taking on your role to say,

882
01:22:56.960 --> 01:23:01.520
this is what I want to build. This is what I've built so far. Before you will be additive to

883
01:23:01.520 --> 01:23:06.240
this environment, I need to make sure that what we have built so far, the 800,000 of revenue,

884
01:23:06.240 --> 01:23:10.400
the two million dollars of revenue, the 10 million dollars of revenue. I need to first make

885
01:23:10.400 --> 01:23:16.800
sure that you can do that because if you can't do that and we can't duplicate what we're already

886
01:23:16.880 --> 01:23:22.000
doing that works well, we don't know what is the right idea to bring in because there isn't a

887
01:23:22.000 --> 01:23:26.880
core understanding of what makes this business run today. And the last thing that you want to do

888
01:23:26.880 --> 01:23:31.440
is bring on a leader. Let's say your business is doing 10 million dollars of revenue and you think

889
01:23:31.440 --> 01:23:35.440
that there's somebody out there that is smarter than you who's going to entirely change your sales

890
01:23:35.440 --> 01:23:39.760
process. Maybe you weren't the best salesperson. You hired a salesperson on very early. They've

891
01:23:39.760 --> 01:23:43.840
tapped out in their ability to add additional salespeople and really properly run a sales team.

892
01:23:44.480 --> 01:23:48.400
Well, as soon as that's happened and you're going to bring on this external person,

893
01:23:48.400 --> 01:23:53.600
it would be great if they could add 20 million dollars of revenue. But if it's through some different

894
01:23:53.600 --> 01:23:59.680
product and different service in different way that disrupts what got you to 10 million,

895
01:23:59.680 --> 01:24:05.520
you're not at 10 million any longer. You're at 8 million or 7 million and there's real slipbacks

896
01:24:05.520 --> 01:24:10.160
that happen. And to me, that's more of the reality that I see, which is the slipback because

897
01:24:10.160 --> 01:24:14.320
the business owner doesn't know enough about the core parts of the business to decide

898
01:24:14.880 --> 01:24:19.760
how the business is run, what the core offer is to have the confidence to then bring on people

899
01:24:19.760 --> 01:24:24.560
who are additive that can't break the business. So you think you should approach for the caution

900
01:24:24.560 --> 01:24:28.240
because there's a risk associated with onboarding people that might be expensive and

901
01:24:31.040 --> 01:24:37.120
know too much about, I guess it goes about being duped. Be able to dup you by

902
01:24:37.920 --> 01:24:39.920
you're not fully understanding what they're saying and what they know.

903
01:24:40.480 --> 01:24:45.440
And they can't dup you if you know what you are already doing. If you're really willing

904
01:24:46.080 --> 01:24:53.040
to model what is currently being done and they are willing to be humble enough to come into your

905
01:24:53.040 --> 01:24:57.760
environment and learn the reasons why this doesn't have to take years. This can take a handful of

906
01:24:57.760 --> 01:25:02.960
months. I'm not talking about like stifling innovation for quarters and quarters or years and

907
01:25:02.960 --> 01:25:06.640
years to make sure that they like really are indoctrinated with the way that the organization

908
01:25:06.640 --> 01:25:11.680
works. Absolutely not. That wouldn't work. The way you have to do it is quickly assessing

909
01:25:12.400 --> 01:25:15.760
that they understand the way that things work inside your current business. We just recently

910
01:25:15.760 --> 01:25:21.760
brought on a new C suite within the first handful of weeks. I can tell that he's picking up on what

911
01:25:21.760 --> 01:25:28.080
our core business does. And if I didn't think that it would be hard for me to trust some of his

912
01:25:28.080 --> 01:25:33.440
recommendations because I brought on a C suite team member earlier this year who had all of these

913
01:25:33.440 --> 01:25:38.720
fanciful ideas and this, you know, the big names and you think that they're going to bring on

914
01:25:38.720 --> 01:25:44.000
all these things. But they can't actually contextualize what their experience is to the core business

915
01:25:44.000 --> 01:25:48.480
because they don't understand the core business. And then it ends up disenfranchising the team members

916
01:25:48.480 --> 01:25:54.480
that they're responsible for working with. And I have seen more often than not that trusting

917
01:25:54.480 --> 01:26:02.160
too early on without that founder getting the necessary skills ends up in the luck scenario instead

918
01:26:02.160 --> 01:26:06.480
of this was a strategy because I knew and had certainty about what was going on. And I'm good

919
01:26:06.480 --> 01:26:10.960
with what my four walls are. This is what you are going to bring that is incredibly additive to

920
01:26:10.960 --> 01:26:16.000
that core business. But that rigor and that discipline has to be there from the founder first.

921
01:26:16.000 --> 01:26:21.280
It's interesting here. It is really interesting. And I think part of my bias is because I've been there

922
01:26:21.280 --> 01:26:26.640
before I would never started a new business now without aiming extremely high with the talent.

923
01:26:26.640 --> 01:26:32.160
But that's actually because I'm harder to jute now. So if you have to pay someone huge salary,

924
01:26:32.160 --> 01:26:36.800
for example, and give them a huge package, whatever, I'm better able to assess whether they are worth

925
01:26:36.800 --> 01:26:42.400
it and what their ROI is going to be versus the start of my career where hiring someone and taking

926
01:26:42.400 --> 01:26:47.200
such a big risk on someone. I didn't have enough data to understand if I was being juped or not.

927
01:26:47.200 --> 01:26:52.240
So it was a lot of faith and trust and well, they worked at this incredible company. So they

928
01:26:52.240 --> 01:26:58.000
must be good. And I've also seen that completely back far as well. You talk about these 10 steps

929
01:26:58.000 --> 01:27:03.280
to becoming a millionaire in a video that you made in December in 24. And there are a couple of

930
01:27:03.280 --> 01:27:08.240
things that I wanted to pull out here. So you outline this 10 step process to becoming a millionaire

931
01:27:08.240 --> 01:27:14.880
within a year. And one of them is researching what jobs millionaires have. Then rate your interest

932
01:27:14.880 --> 01:27:20.560
in skills in each and pick one to master. The other one is cut out friends who drain energy

933
01:27:20.560 --> 01:27:25.920
or don't stop your goals. Study the 10 most successful people in your field through podcast videos

934
01:27:25.920 --> 01:27:32.720
and books. Use every moment to build skills, follow only millionaires on social media and

935
01:27:32.720 --> 01:27:38.720
eliminate all distractions such as Netflix and Doom scrolling. Be willing to invest and go into

936
01:27:38.720 --> 01:27:47.200
debt. As without investment knowledge, you will stay broke. Attend events with successful people,

937
01:27:48.000 --> 01:27:53.760
research you'll be attending, master selling yourself, your customers and your team members daily.

938
01:27:54.960 --> 01:28:00.800
On this point of selling, is there anything on this subjective how to be a great salesperson

939
01:28:00.800 --> 01:28:05.680
that we haven't talked about that you think is important? Whether it's selling yourself or

940
01:28:05.680 --> 01:28:11.120
selling your ideas or selling your business or one of my favorite quotes from Grant Cardown

941
01:28:12.080 --> 01:28:19.520
to the extent you are sold, you will sell. Okay, so to the extent in which you believe something

942
01:28:19.520 --> 01:28:24.400
is the extent you'll be able to make others believe in the thing. So if you're not sold on yourself

943
01:28:24.400 --> 01:28:28.400
on your business idea on the product that you're selling for the company that you work for

944
01:28:29.120 --> 01:28:34.000
on getting another department to work cross-functionally with you, if you aren't really sold

945
01:28:34.000 --> 01:28:40.720
on that, you will not sell. But I think it goes a layer deeper than that oftentimes because

946
01:28:42.240 --> 01:28:47.440
it's easy to look at. I'm not selling the product inside my business. Maybe I'm a team member,

947
01:28:47.440 --> 01:28:53.280
I'm in sales and I'm not hitting my quota this month of cars that I'm supposed to sell. And I'm

948
01:28:53.280 --> 01:28:59.280
like, well, I don't really feel good about the fact that I sell cars. This car is a piece of crap.

949
01:28:59.840 --> 01:29:05.200
Of course, I'm not selling the car. And you can get very critical of the thing and rationalize

950
01:29:05.200 --> 01:29:12.400
why you are not good at sales. But if you really do take a step back, why did you choose to sell

951
01:29:12.400 --> 01:29:20.000
cars in the first place? Why is that the thing that you said, I'm going to spend my time and energy

952
01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:25.520
being sold on? You could have chosen lots of other opportunities and you actually being sold

953
01:29:25.520 --> 01:29:30.080
on the PR firm that you wanted to work at instead of taking the sales job that you got and

954
01:29:30.720 --> 01:29:36.080
not confronting the PR rejection that you got landed you in this place where you're unsold and

955
01:29:36.080 --> 01:29:39.360
then you're critical of your environment and you're critical of the product and then you think

956
01:29:39.360 --> 01:29:43.680
you're not good at sales. When really, you just needed to go back to that thing that you're

957
01:29:43.680 --> 01:29:48.880
actually sold on because you sold yourself on why you thought for you that was your opportunity.

958
01:29:48.880 --> 01:29:53.360
Then you just missed the target and instead of being unreasonable about the target,

959
01:29:53.360 --> 01:29:56.800
you became reasonable and started selling something you didn't believe in and then you think

960
01:29:56.800 --> 01:30:04.080
that you're not good at sales. And so the reasonable in us in yourself in what you want to be doing

961
01:30:04.080 --> 01:30:09.760
is actually why I find that salespeople can't sell. It's not about their inherent skills.

962
01:30:09.760 --> 01:30:13.280
If I can get them sold on the product, of course, I'm going to get them sold on the product. I help

963
01:30:13.280 --> 01:30:18.400
business owners across the country get sold on getting their team members to sell roofs. I believe

964
01:30:18.400 --> 01:30:23.200
that somebody knocking on the door and selling roofs is the most important thing for that team member.

965
01:30:23.200 --> 01:30:27.920
I am sold on the fact that they're working for a roofer who cares about them. So I'm like,

966
01:30:27.920 --> 01:30:33.120
hell, yeah, let's get on the roof. I was on a roof about a month ago and then was on another

967
01:30:33.120 --> 01:30:37.760
roof two months ago because I literally helped these business owners train their sales team members

968
01:30:37.760 --> 01:30:42.240
to sell roofs and the sales team members aren't naturally interested in roofs. They didn't

969
01:30:42.240 --> 01:30:46.480
wake up one day thinking like my life's dream is to sell a roof, but what are they sold on?

970
01:30:46.480 --> 01:30:51.760
They're sold on the opportunity to potentially join this roofing company to go from one location

971
01:30:51.760 --> 01:30:56.320
to two locations, three locations, five locations because the business owner has created that

972
01:30:56.320 --> 01:31:03.280
vision for them and the salesperson can sell themselves on the skills that they have to understand

973
01:31:03.280 --> 01:31:08.800
how to sell a roof, maybe not the sexiest thing, but that's a stepping stone in order to be a future

974
01:31:08.800 --> 01:31:12.880
expansion partner with this business owner because this opportunity exists.

975
01:31:12.880 --> 01:31:16.720
So how do I sell a roof? If I'm on that roof with you and you're trying to train me to sell the

976
01:31:16.720 --> 01:31:22.800
roof better, what are you saying to me? Well, ideally, you're knocking on the door of the homeowner.

977
01:31:22.800 --> 01:31:27.120
Okay. I knock on the door. You knock on the door. Yeah. And you go through if there was a storm,

978
01:31:27.120 --> 01:31:30.800
there's all sorts of ways that you can sell roofs, but let's say that there was a storm nearby or

979
01:31:30.800 --> 01:31:36.400
recently that hit that area and you could go the easier route, which is going through insurance

980
01:31:36.400 --> 01:31:41.280
because that roof is completely then paid for, but then you need to go up on the roof and or use

981
01:31:41.360 --> 01:31:47.680
a drone to look at the real damage because that in and of itself is a sales skill.

982
01:31:47.680 --> 01:31:53.440
Somebody going up and pointing out the problem that that person has that they do not know in that

983
01:31:53.440 --> 01:31:58.880
moment that they have helps the person feel confident in selling that roof. So it's just as much

984
01:31:58.880 --> 01:32:04.400
a part of a process to go walk the roof or to fly a drone over that roof to see the damage

985
01:32:04.400 --> 01:32:08.560
as it is a selling mechanism for the salesperson because you're not just selling somebody a roof that

986
01:32:08.560 --> 01:32:13.600
doesn't need a roof. They actually have a problem. And then you would educate that sales individual

987
01:32:13.600 --> 01:32:20.080
on the damage that that can do long term, the value loss of that property. And if you can sell

988
01:32:20.080 --> 01:32:24.960
the salesperson on why that homeowner deserves to know that their roof has something that insurance

989
01:32:24.960 --> 01:32:30.880
could pay for that could get fixed for them within a handful of weeks that doesn't erode their

990
01:32:30.880 --> 01:32:35.280
biggest investment that that person is likely made in their life, their home. All of a sudden,

991
01:32:35.280 --> 01:32:40.880
I have an army of salespeople who are interested in selling roofs because they're sold not just

992
01:32:40.880 --> 01:32:45.200
on the fact that it's a roof, but the impact that that work makes on the person that they're selling

993
01:32:45.200 --> 01:32:49.520
and ideally the opportunity that they have inside that company to be freaking great at selling

994
01:32:49.520 --> 01:32:55.360
roofs. So you pointed out the problem that they have. You then assigned a cost to that problem,

995
01:32:55.360 --> 01:33:00.480
how much it's going to cost them over the long term or short term. And then you pose the solution

996
01:33:00.560 --> 01:33:06.080
which is to get the roof repaired. And I guess you're trying to frame the solution relative to the cost

997
01:33:06.080 --> 01:33:12.240
so that the solution is not bigger or more costly than the cost of having a bad roof.

998
01:33:14.160 --> 01:33:20.000
Earlier on you mentioned this phrase which I've not heard before. It was just before we started

999
01:33:20.000 --> 01:33:24.880
recording you talked about a women's wealth transfer. And when I asked you what was front of

1000
01:33:24.880 --> 01:33:28.720
mind for you at the moment, you referenced that you were thinking a lot about the women's wealth

1001
01:33:28.800 --> 01:33:38.560
transfer. What is this? The women's wealth transfer between 2025 and 2030 looks like just these are US

1002
01:33:38.560 --> 01:33:46.320
stats. 10 trillion dollars are in the hands of women right now. And between now in 2030 that number

1003
01:33:46.320 --> 01:33:53.440
is going to go up to 30 trillion dollars. So this wealth is going to balloon. And when you think

1004
01:33:53.440 --> 01:34:00.000
about the implications of how this wealth transfer happens, it's not just cash that is given

1005
01:34:00.000 --> 01:34:05.840
to women all of a sudden because they're making more money. There's a transition because of

1006
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:10.240
differences in life expectancy and partners, a man and a woman, there's about a

1007
01:34:10.240 --> 01:34:14.800
on average. And they're going to die first. Yep. And it's about five and a half, six years.

1008
01:34:15.440 --> 01:34:25.760
So women are left with assets not cash like homes, businesses, portfolios, investments, bank

1009
01:34:25.760 --> 01:34:30.240
accounts that oftentimes they were left out of the conversation with the financial advisor.

1010
01:34:30.880 --> 01:34:36.640
And they don't actually know how to operationalize how to manage because up until as recent as

1011
01:34:36.640 --> 01:34:42.080
50 years ago, women weren't even allowed to open bank accounts without their husband or their

1012
01:34:42.080 --> 01:34:48.240
father until that passed in the 80s. And so the wealth is actually moving towards women,

1013
01:34:48.240 --> 01:34:56.240
but women today feel less financially able due to content creation. There's a recent study done

1014
01:34:56.240 --> 01:35:04.240
by a company called LVEST where they analyze the amount of manifestation content on the internet

1015
01:35:04.240 --> 01:35:11.120
created by women creators. There's 12 times as much manifestation content from women creators

1016
01:35:11.120 --> 01:35:19.840
as there is investing and equity content. Or 70% of women feel more overwhelmed with financial

1017
01:35:19.840 --> 01:35:26.400
information after consuming the content because it's a tip or trick or hack that is being shared

1018
01:35:26.400 --> 01:35:32.800
instead of a real system and process for how do they take something and systematize or operationalize

1019
01:35:32.800 --> 01:35:37.360
this business that has equity. But then there's trucks maybe that they're inheriting and then

1020
01:35:37.360 --> 01:35:43.360
there's debt on this business. And it's just a brand new conversation. And as women get more

1021
01:35:43.360 --> 01:35:49.920
financially literate as they get more financial opportunities, there have to be more ways for them to

1022
01:35:49.920 --> 01:35:56.800
be in these conversations. They have to be more ways for them to understand how to navigate what

1023
01:35:56.800 --> 01:36:03.600
opportunities didn't exist structurally even up until as recent as 20, 30 years ago. And so I'm

1024
01:36:03.600 --> 01:36:13.040
passionate about this because I see this incredible time where I help people every day understand how

1025
01:36:13.040 --> 01:36:20.080
to grow businesses and be competent in businesses. So as the total wealth transfer takes place over

1026
01:36:20.080 --> 01:36:25.600
the next 20 years from baby boomers to the next generation, that total wealth transfer is about

1027
01:36:25.920 --> 01:36:35.040
$124 trillion. How do I equip women to feel confident with the decisions that they're making to not

1028
01:36:35.040 --> 01:36:41.520
just fire their financial advisor, which 70% of them do after their spouse dies within the first

1029
01:36:41.520 --> 01:36:50.560
year and actually know before this catastrophic event takes place how they control the money,

1030
01:36:50.560 --> 01:36:56.480
how they feel confident with the money so that once they have it, it is not in moments of panic

1031
01:36:56.480 --> 01:37:00.640
and stress and frustration that they're having to figure these things out. They already feel like

1032
01:37:00.640 --> 01:37:07.920
they are equipped with conversations about what is a PNL and how do I understand what's happening

1033
01:37:07.920 --> 01:37:15.120
with my 401k and still some of these concepts are just out of sight, out of mind and traditionally

1034
01:37:15.120 --> 01:37:20.720
held by male roles in a household. So what would you recommend people do who find themselves in

1035
01:37:20.720 --> 01:37:25.760
that situation where they are financially illiterate? You use the word earlier on financial crisis?

1036
01:37:25.760 --> 01:37:30.160
Is that dovetailing into the same thing? Is that because people, is that the financial illiteracy point?

1037
01:37:31.040 --> 01:37:35.200
Well say financial crisis. For me, the financial crisis is how few people are actually making enough

1038
01:37:35.200 --> 01:37:42.960
money to make ends meet. The financial crisis is that there are so many businesses 35 million in the

1039
01:37:42.960 --> 01:37:51.840
US alone and yet less than 200,000 make more than a million dollars and if less than 200,000 make

1040
01:37:51.840 --> 01:37:56.880
a million over a million dollars and the average margin of a business is eight and a half percent,

1041
01:37:57.600 --> 01:38:02.560
you're circling the drain as to how much money people are actually making. It seems like there's

1042
01:38:02.560 --> 01:38:08.560
so much money because of social media and there are team members who work in organizations that

1043
01:38:08.560 --> 01:38:14.880
make more than $60,000 a year but people are actually making less money than I think society

1044
01:38:14.880 --> 01:38:20.640
believes because of the proliferation of content creation and so this crisis to me has much more to

1045
01:38:20.640 --> 01:38:27.520
do with how do we get people skills that they need with our life expectancy in total looking like

1046
01:38:27.520 --> 01:38:33.520
it's going to be longer based off of the different treatments that are coming out due to AI in

1047
01:38:33.600 --> 01:38:38.880
healthcare in genomics. What you think is the most important financial information the average person

1048
01:38:38.880 --> 01:38:45.040
needs in this regard? I think the most important financial information is actually that money matters

1049
01:38:45.760 --> 01:38:53.840
and if money matters how are you spending your time today, tomorrow, the next day, to get skills

1050
01:38:53.840 --> 01:38:59.360
and to do things that generate money and if you can align your time with making more money instead

1051
01:38:59.360 --> 01:39:03.840
of thinking that it's some fixed resource or there's some scarcity around it, you could actually

1052
01:39:03.840 --> 01:39:11.280
increase the top line because you can save your way to the bottom but you get to the bottom,

1053
01:39:11.280 --> 01:39:18.400
there's no abundance in the bottom. So what are the skills? If I was somebody that was trying to

1054
01:39:18.400 --> 01:39:26.240
earn more money today, I would go on to one of the AI platforms and say this is the set of skills

1055
01:39:26.240 --> 01:39:32.640
that I have. These are the set of interests that I have. This is the current job that I hold

1056
01:39:32.640 --> 01:39:40.640
what I do for work and my goal is to increase my income between now and 12 months from now by

1057
01:39:40.640 --> 01:39:47.120
$100,000. What are the specific skills and the associated syllabus for each week if I carved out

1058
01:39:47.120 --> 01:39:52.160
two hours a day for me to learn that you could put together for me so that I can actually get

1059
01:39:52.160 --> 01:39:56.880
skills that would demonstrate that I'm able to make more money and I think that message is missed

1060
01:39:56.880 --> 01:40:06.400
when people talk about investing and 401k's. Sure, you can make your 6%, your 8%, your 10%,

1061
01:40:06.960 --> 01:40:11.040
but what can you actually control and what does every individual have the ability to control?

1062
01:40:11.040 --> 01:40:18.240
Their skills and how they exchange those skills for problems that they are solving in exchange

1063
01:40:19.040 --> 01:40:23.040
earning more income and then they're able to invest and do all of those other things,

1064
01:40:23.040 --> 01:40:27.040
but those things are in salary. They are not the main thing. The main thing is you need to get

1065
01:40:27.040 --> 01:40:33.040
skills. You are going to live longer. Wake up, smell the roses. The world is going to be a very

1066
01:40:33.040 --> 01:40:38.960
long place that you're going to inhabit for the next potentially 100 years on average. So let's

1067
01:40:38.960 --> 01:40:44.880
get comfortable with learning more, understanding what our stops are to learning so that we aren't

1068
01:40:44.880 --> 01:40:48.160
scared as the world changes of having to acquire new skills.

1069
01:41:15.600 --> 01:41:20.000
And eventually I uploaded it and honestly I thought that would probably be it. But a couple of

1070
01:41:20.000 --> 01:41:25.120
my friends said they enjoyed it so I kept on recording and over time the microphone has changed

1071
01:41:25.120 --> 01:41:29.840
and we now have this incredible setup here but the thing that has stayed the same is I'm still

1072
01:41:29.840 --> 01:41:36.000
using the Mac. Even today my entire team across our studio still uses the Mac. Our first few episodes

1073
01:41:36.000 --> 01:41:41.040
maybe had tens of people listening but now tens of millions of people tuning all over the world

1074
01:41:41.040 --> 01:41:45.680
which is still absolutely crazy to me. So if there is an idea that keeps tapping you on the

1075
01:41:45.680 --> 01:41:51.280
shoulder this is your sign to start. Your great ideas start on Mac and you can find out more

1076
01:41:51.280 --> 01:41:58.240
apple.com slash Mac. I did something at 24 years old that has had a profound impact on my life.

1077
01:41:58.240 --> 01:42:02.560
I set myself the challenge of posting every single day on my social media channels and at the time

1078
01:42:02.560 --> 01:42:07.360
I was doing it to grow my following but I had this profound impact on my life and two remarkable

1079
01:42:07.360 --> 01:42:11.920
things happened when I did that. I managed to learn faster because every single day I'm capturing

1080
01:42:11.920 --> 01:42:16.640
what is happening to me and trying to distill it down into something that I can share with the world

1081
01:42:16.640 --> 01:42:21.360
but more remarkably it led me to building a following of many millions of people and that's the

1082
01:42:21.360 --> 01:42:25.360
basis that I used to launch the Diary of a CEO and that's why I want to tell you about our sponsor

1083
01:42:25.360 --> 01:42:30.080
today Adobe Express. They are the platform that I use to make all the posts across my LinkedIn

1084
01:42:30.080 --> 01:42:35.360
and across my Instagram. It's a couple of clicks and you don't need to be an expert and that is why I

1085
01:42:35.360 --> 01:42:40.080
love using it because I'm not an expert in graphic design. It's accessible to use for all of us

1086
01:42:40.080 --> 01:42:43.760
even if we don't have the technical prowess to design great things. So if you want to start

1087
01:42:43.760 --> 01:42:50.160
compounding both your reach and your knowledge like I did at 24 years old then head to Adobe.ly slash

1088
01:42:50.160 --> 01:42:58.640
Stephen and get started with Adobe Express. That's Adobe.ly slash Stephen. People love talking about

1089
01:42:58.640 --> 01:43:02.960
passive income especially on YouTube and the internet. Everyone wants passive income. The idea

1090
01:43:02.960 --> 01:43:06.640
that you can make income and do fuck all is unbelievably compelling. So yeah. I would like some

1091
01:43:06.640 --> 01:43:10.880
passive income. What is the reality of this? Because there's a real obsession with figuring out ways

1092
01:43:10.880 --> 01:43:16.800
to make passive income. I want to earn money when I sleep. What is the reality of that? Is that

1093
01:43:16.800 --> 01:43:20.480
is that a thing? Is that possible? Is that something I should be aiming at? You should aim at that

1094
01:43:20.480 --> 01:43:26.240
once you have a million dollars in your bank account. Before you have a million dollars

1095
01:43:27.280 --> 01:43:32.240
don't even think about passive income. You have you have no asset to actually earn passive income

1096
01:43:32.240 --> 01:43:38.560
off of and your time is much better spent learning how do you get your first million dollars

1097
01:43:38.560 --> 01:43:43.360
than it is through passive income and thinking how you're going to earn a percentage

1098
01:43:43.360 --> 01:43:49.120
on the principle that you've invested. If you make $60,000 a year, medium wage, United States

1099
01:43:49.120 --> 01:43:56.000
America, if you make $60,000 a year, 8% on that isn't going to get you to financial freedom.

1100
01:43:56.000 --> 01:44:01.680
So don't figure out how to crack 8% to maybe I'm going to get 15% returns because the

1101
01:44:01.680 --> 01:44:07.440
principle is still so small the $60,000 so small. What do you have to do? Actually learn how do I

1102
01:44:07.440 --> 01:44:13.200
make my income? 160,000 but what's wild once people learn how to do this and the skill of learning

1103
01:44:13.200 --> 01:44:19.760
is like it's the greatest drug on planet earth because you learn how to do something and you become

1104
01:44:19.760 --> 01:44:24.720
competent in it and as soon as you get there you're like oh my gosh if that's all it took

1105
01:44:25.280 --> 01:44:31.280
for these people that I used to think were special to earn additional 100,000 and now while I have

1106
01:44:31.280 --> 01:44:37.280
to do is do that same process again to go from where I'm at to be able to earn 1.6 million,

1107
01:44:37.280 --> 01:44:43.760
do a 10x, sign me up because you get this confidence from learning how to do things and so passive

1108
01:44:43.760 --> 01:44:50.880
income is great at a certain stage of life and at a certain stage of financial protection,

1109
01:44:50.880 --> 01:44:55.840
but it is not it is financial protection. It is not for the people who are saying I want to go

1110
01:44:55.840 --> 01:45:01.120
build something I want to grow something I want to create something it is a it is to me almost

1111
01:45:01.120 --> 01:45:07.520
the opposite of survival actually it's your backup plan it's your rainy day fund in case

1112
01:45:07.520 --> 01:45:14.000
shit hits the fan and I'm not opposed to having a backup plan it's good to have a backup plan

1113
01:45:14.000 --> 01:45:21.360
but 99% of your time should be focused on how do I make the first plan go fricking right and do

1114
01:45:21.360 --> 01:45:26.240
everything I can today to control plan a you talked about acquiring skills being the key thing

1115
01:45:26.240 --> 01:45:31.040
that obviously the world is changing quickly because of AI and all the skills that a lot of people

1116
01:45:31.040 --> 01:45:38.800
once acquired in university you know accountants lawyers and podcasters I guess our skills are

1117
01:45:38.800 --> 01:45:44.000
quickly being replaced by intelligence machines and systems that can now do what we do

1118
01:45:44.000 --> 01:45:47.680
and when you look around the corner at what's going on in robotics I think neo the robotics

1119
01:45:47.680 --> 01:45:52.400
company this week put on sale their first humanoid robot which can move through the physical

1120
01:45:52.400 --> 01:45:56.800
environment and do things and when I combine these two things I can combine intelligence with the

1121
01:45:56.800 --> 01:46:03.280
ability to manipulate the physical environment I go where it where a human's going to going to be

1122
01:46:03.280 --> 01:46:11.520
in all this because it is conceivable it's perfectly conceivable to me that much of what

1123
01:46:12.000 --> 01:46:18.640
we employ people to do these days will be redundant in the near future and that's not to say

1124
01:46:18.640 --> 01:46:24.240
that there won't be new jobs but it's a difficult time to be investing heavily in any particular

1125
01:46:24.240 --> 01:46:30.480
skill set well some to some skill sets because they go they're coming invalid in no time at all

1126
01:46:30.480 --> 01:46:34.320
like even as a writer so like I've written two books and I enjoy the process of writing I

1127
01:46:34.320 --> 01:46:38.720
consider it to be one of my edges I was like I'm quite good at writing so that's useful you can

1128
01:46:38.720 --> 01:46:42.960
build a parcel brand you can send good emails you can convince people investors whatever it might

1129
01:46:42.960 --> 01:46:48.080
be but even now like fuck everyone's got like AI now at chat GPT so they can just produce AI

1130
01:46:48.080 --> 01:46:53.440
slop and they can literally just say write it like Stephen or write it like Natalie so the edges

1131
01:46:53.440 --> 01:46:58.880
are going what is the edge of the future in your view what is the edge what is the skill I should

1132
01:46:58.880 --> 01:47:03.440
double down on that the robot and AI aren't going to steal from me I think the only skill that we

1133
01:47:03.520 --> 01:47:10.240
can actually double down on in a world of AI is the skill of learning and adapting because we

1134
01:47:10.240 --> 01:47:16.080
cannot predict what the world is going to look like in 2040 we do not know what robots are aren't

1135
01:47:16.080 --> 01:47:24.080
going to be capable of I'm not as bullish on this I watched Elon have a interview over the weekend

1136
01:47:24.080 --> 01:47:31.120
about his take on AI and he said that it's a supersonic tsunami in which he proceeded to

1137
01:47:31.120 --> 01:47:37.920
explain that supersonic is traveling at the speed of sound and a tsunami is a wall of water

1138
01:47:38.640 --> 01:47:46.400
and so if you think about that being AI it's coming it's here it's fast and of course he benefits

1139
01:47:46.400 --> 01:47:50.640
from everybody believing all of those things with all of the companies and I am a pro Elon

1140
01:47:50.640 --> 01:47:55.840
person I love what he is built I love his mind but I think that we're further away than people

1141
01:47:55.840 --> 01:48:02.400
think but it is still coming and so the only hedge that somebody can have is the ability to

1142
01:48:02.400 --> 01:48:08.080
adapt and learn and what AI should be used for with every individual is the ability to learn

1143
01:48:08.080 --> 01:48:13.600
acknowledge what you don't know that is the greatest strength somebody has really be comfortable

1144
01:48:13.600 --> 01:48:20.400
saying I do not know how to read a P&L I don't know how to read this legal contract I don't know

1145
01:48:20.480 --> 01:48:27.040
anything about AI and what I've heard an LLM I don't really know what it is or agentic what's

1146
01:48:27.040 --> 01:48:33.920
the difference and be able to convince yourself why that is the most important skill for you to

1147
01:48:33.920 --> 01:48:40.000
push past that barrier of learning something new that is so uncomfortable because the the names

1148
01:48:40.000 --> 01:48:44.880
are new and you feel like a freaking idiot and then you think everybody is smarter than you and

1149
01:48:44.880 --> 01:48:51.040
that you're just some fraud to push back on that and to have some resilience through it to say

1150
01:48:51.040 --> 01:48:55.520
I'm going to adapt through this I'm going to get to the other side and learn so that I can

1151
01:48:55.520 --> 01:49:01.040
concretely can have confidence that I can change in any environment based off of what's needed

1152
01:49:01.040 --> 01:49:05.600
of me in that environment and I will add value to that environment regardless of whatever

1153
01:49:05.600 --> 01:49:10.160
the external circumstances are that is the only choice there's no alternative choice

1154
01:49:11.040 --> 01:49:15.440
Are you scared about AI? I'm not scared at all I'm pumped as you can tell I'm really excited because

1155
01:49:17.040 --> 01:49:22.720
I used to feel dumb I used to feel like there were things that these smart people knew that I didn't know

1156
01:49:23.280 --> 01:49:31.280
and my entire outlook on life changed a handful of years ago when this got launched because

1157
01:49:31.760 --> 01:49:38.800
AI has taught me in two years what I would have had to go to school for and would have had to

1158
01:49:38.800 --> 01:49:42.560
get a degree and still to just find out that most people who went to school for those things

1159
01:49:42.560 --> 01:49:48.720
and had degrees in them missed something critical and important and so for me and I think people

1160
01:49:48.720 --> 01:49:55.040
like me and I don't think there's anything particularly special about who I categorize as people

1161
01:49:55.040 --> 01:50:06.800
like me it is a unprecedented time to lean into this reference of information that can specifically

1162
01:50:06.880 --> 01:50:13.120
tutor you on what you don't know to actually equip you we've never had this opportunity before

1163
01:50:13.120 --> 01:50:19.760
and it's not specific to you with your gender or your race or your age it's accessible

1164
01:50:20.960 --> 01:50:26.080
and so I'm beyond excited because anything that comes up that's like oh this just changed the

1165
01:50:26.080 --> 01:50:32.240
whole dynamic of the business guess what I have AI to help me understand that and to help me

1166
01:50:32.240 --> 01:50:37.360
get whatever skill I need in this new world same thing that people 100 years ago had to do same

1167
01:50:37.360 --> 01:50:42.160
thing that 2000 years ago people had to do they just didn't actually have a tool to help them

1168
01:50:42.160 --> 01:50:47.120
understand what was happening to then learn what needed to happen from them whatever they had

1169
01:50:47.120 --> 01:50:52.800
misunderstood are in in in order to actually get to the other side with real skills.

1170
01:50:54.160 --> 01:50:57.520
Natalie what do you think is the most important thing we haven't talked about that we should have

1171
01:50:57.520 --> 01:51:01.360
talked about as it relates to what you know about who my audience are and what they're interested in.

1172
01:51:02.560 --> 01:51:09.200
I think this is a connected subject but I would want anybody in the audience whether you make

1173
01:51:10.080 --> 01:51:17.520
60,000 a year a million a year a hundred million a year to actually have the belief in themselves

1174
01:51:18.400 --> 01:51:24.880
that they can learn anything that they want to know and that there isn't actually a barrier there

1175
01:51:24.880 --> 01:51:30.720
that exists because if I could get people to really believe that their entire life would change

1176
01:51:30.720 --> 01:51:36.720
due to the access that they have today due to the tools that they have today and so taking that

1177
01:51:36.720 --> 01:51:44.400
confidence that I can walk into any room with any big shot with anybody who knows something about a

1178
01:51:44.400 --> 01:51:50.480
particular subject matter that I know nothing about and feel totally comfortable being that

1179
01:51:50.560 --> 01:51:56.640
environment because you can prep yourself you can learn about it and life is so beautiful because

1180
01:51:56.640 --> 01:52:02.000
you get those experiences and you don't have to be scared of them you can learn and you can understand

1181
01:52:02.000 --> 01:52:06.800
and there's nothing that's wrong with you to where you can't and there's no special privilege or

1182
01:52:06.800 --> 01:52:13.760
special characteristics that somebody has that you don't have in that you can learn anything.

1183
01:52:13.760 --> 01:52:16.960
Did you used to think there were special characteristics or some kind of genetic

1184
01:52:17.840 --> 01:52:24.880
genius gene that these people at the very top had and how did that change once you were in rooms

1185
01:52:24.880 --> 01:52:30.960
with those people? Of course I thought that there was some genius button that somebody clicked at

1186
01:52:30.960 --> 01:52:36.480
birth before coming out of the womb where they just got to be special and they got to understand

1187
01:52:36.480 --> 01:52:42.560
things. I really struggled growing up with remembering numbers numbers were so challenging I would

1188
01:52:42.560 --> 01:52:47.680
just reverse the numbers and then they wouldn't stick in my brain and I thought I was stupid for

1189
01:52:47.680 --> 01:52:56.320
so much of my life and for anybody who also struggles with that what you would come to find out

1190
01:52:56.320 --> 01:53:03.200
being around lots of people successful or unsuccessful people is everybody has that thing.

1191
01:53:03.200 --> 01:53:08.240
So the faster that you can attack it and get yourself comfortable with numbers what I

1192
01:53:08.240 --> 01:53:13.680
realized is like that was just a story I told myself because had I ever spent an afternoon on a

1193
01:53:13.680 --> 01:53:20.640
Sunday with my extra time actually trying to get better at remembering numbers. No I hadn't I just

1194
01:53:20.640 --> 01:53:26.880
used it as an excuse and successful people just limit the amount of excuses that they allow

1195
01:53:26.880 --> 01:53:32.720
themselves to believe for why they aren't successful they take the limitation that they have

1196
01:53:33.520 --> 01:53:39.920
and either they so over index in the strength and they ignore that or they realize that that

1197
01:53:39.920 --> 01:53:45.680
limitation is actually at a point where it is limiting them so they have to attack it and take

1198
01:53:45.680 --> 01:53:51.520
the time to get better and shore up that area to then be able to springboard from there.

1199
01:53:52.480 --> 01:53:55.840
There's also I guess another layer to this which is meant to rate their own performance higher

1200
01:53:55.840 --> 01:54:00.320
than women do even when their actual performance is equal and there's a bunch of different studies

1201
01:54:00.400 --> 01:54:03.760
that site. There's one famous study that people always talk about which might not be I think

1202
01:54:03.760 --> 01:54:08.400
might be refuted now but it said that men apply for a job when they meet 60% of the listed

1203
01:54:08.400 --> 01:54:14.400
qualifications while women only apply when they meet 100% of the listed qualifications which in part

1204
01:54:14.400 --> 01:54:20.320
as it relates to top jobs in in Europe people think that this is part of the reason why men are

1205
01:54:20.320 --> 01:54:26.880
more likely to be in full time top jobs because they that overconfidence means they're more likely

1206
01:54:26.880 --> 01:54:33.520
to apply and therefore more likely to I guess convince people and more likely to get the job.

1207
01:54:33.520 --> 01:54:37.120
So there is something there seems to be a difference in genders in terms of

1208
01:54:40.400 --> 01:54:43.680
the need to feel ready and the need to feel qualified.

1209
01:54:45.360 --> 01:54:54.640
That's so real to me. That is so real to me. I get to work with people every day and I will

1210
01:54:55.440 --> 01:55:00.240
have a personal professional financial goal conversation with team members who are in the exact

1211
01:55:00.240 --> 01:55:04.560
same role. Let's say they're an account manager. One will be a female, one will be a male. The woman

1212
01:55:04.560 --> 01:55:10.080
is like a rock star. She's like clients love her and she's so good and she just has like this little

1213
01:55:10.080 --> 01:55:15.520
like magical spark. So I'll be sitting with them with their personal professional and financial

1214
01:55:15.520 --> 01:55:22.720
goal conversation and the woman will say oh I'd like to go from making $80,000 a year to maybe

1215
01:55:22.720 --> 01:55:30.320
in a year from now making $90,000 and the next hour I will have a conversation with a guy who

1216
01:55:30.320 --> 01:55:35.680
is not as performant as she is and he will say yeah I'm making $80,000 a year. Think of the next

1217
01:55:35.680 --> 01:55:41.600
three years I should be up to $200, $250. I've had this happen over and over and over. So I watched

1218
01:55:41.600 --> 01:55:52.160
this in real time and my go to and that is to sit down with a girl and to say I want you

1219
01:55:52.880 --> 01:56:00.000
to imagine what your life is going to look like in three years from now. So if you're 35 years old

1220
01:56:00.000 --> 01:56:05.440
you're going to be 38 years old. What does life look like? Who are you spending time with? How much

1221
01:56:05.440 --> 01:56:11.440
money are you making? Have you traveled? Do you have a spouse? Do you have kids? Like what does life

1222
01:56:11.440 --> 01:56:15.520
look like? And what I want you to do is if you don't have an account already as I want you to get

1223
01:56:15.520 --> 01:56:19.360
hooked up with Pinterest and you were going to create a board and you were just going to go through

1224
01:56:19.360 --> 01:56:23.360
all of these incredible things that you could have in your life that you actually want. Not the

1225
01:56:23.360 --> 01:56:29.360
stupid things like the things that you're like if my life could include that it would change my life.

1226
01:56:29.360 --> 01:56:35.440
I would love to have that life for me that would have been full sequin suit because if you can't

1227
01:56:35.440 --> 01:56:40.640
do that you're of course going to be stunted and what you're going to do in order to get there.

1228
01:56:41.360 --> 01:56:44.720
If it was a man who was struggling with that though I do the exact same thing. That to me is the

1229
01:56:44.720 --> 01:56:49.920
real job of the leaders to inspire people enough not about who you are and all of your accomplishments

1230
01:56:49.920 --> 01:56:54.720
but to actually have them see that they could have the life that they want through the work that they

1231
01:56:54.720 --> 01:57:00.080
do every single day and tying those two things together and being ruthlessly honest with them when

1232
01:57:00.080 --> 01:57:05.040
they do things that hold them back and remove things that are in their way. That's we have a closing

1233
01:57:05.040 --> 01:57:08.080
tradition where the last guest leaves a question for the next not knowing who they're leaving it for.

1234
01:57:08.880 --> 01:57:14.480
And the question left for you is a fairly well known question actually it is what would you do

1235
01:57:15.280 --> 01:57:20.880
if you knew you would not fail? If I knew that I wasn't going to fail I would just like fix

1236
01:57:20.880 --> 01:57:26.720
world hunger and I'd fix all of these things but like short of thinking that I could solve those

1237
01:57:26.720 --> 01:57:33.760
particular problems it's selfish to not have those goals and dreams. I just think for my actual

1238
01:57:33.760 --> 01:57:46.240
life today I really believe and preach to my core I feel act out that I take massive action

1239
01:57:46.240 --> 01:57:52.480
towards goals that do seem unbelievable or unreal to me and right now the set of goals that I have

1240
01:57:53.120 --> 01:57:59.360
are the things that I'm very confident that I'm not going to fail at and I'm spending time

1241
01:57:59.360 --> 01:58:03.120
doing those things in order to get myself as close as possible to the woman that I want to become

1242
01:58:03.120 --> 01:58:08.720
and I could change my mind in a handful of months or a handful of years once I've achieved those

1243
01:58:08.720 --> 01:58:15.280
things but I guess I already actually do think that I'm living my life short of solving world

1244
01:58:15.280 --> 01:58:21.200
hunger and like world peace that I'm doing everything that I know how to do to make an impact

1245
01:58:21.200 --> 01:58:25.440
on the world. I noticed that I'm you know I've had a bunch of conversations on this show with people

1246
01:58:25.440 --> 01:58:31.760
like Evie Pompos who's the the secret service agent and you have a lot of similarities to her

1247
01:58:32.320 --> 01:58:36.880
I think because of the directness in which you speak and I think part of the resonance is

1248
01:58:37.920 --> 01:58:44.320
people want to know how to be taken seriously in this world and I think they they look at you and

1249
01:58:44.320 --> 01:58:51.120
see someone who is like them in many ways or at least how they aspire to be but is taken seriously

1250
01:58:51.120 --> 01:58:56.080
in a world that is often hard to be taken seriously in especially as a woman it's a male dominated

1251
01:58:56.080 --> 01:58:59.520
environment especially things like the finance industry and investment industry it's hard to be

1252
01:58:59.600 --> 01:59:05.120
taken seriously it's hard to be respected and so people I think people have a deep sense that they

1253
01:59:05.120 --> 01:59:10.400
are being being diminished they are like misunderstood they're not being heard and so when they hear

1254
01:59:10.400 --> 01:59:17.200
someone that speaks so clearly and with such conviction as you they want to learn how to do it

1255
01:59:17.840 --> 01:59:22.880
is there anything in that regard that we've we've left off because I was I was on your YouTube

1256
01:59:22.880 --> 01:59:27.280
channel and I was looking at some of your recent videos and one of the recent videos that has been

1257
01:59:27.280 --> 01:59:31.440
incredibly resonant to people is this exact point which is the 1% secrets to make anyone respect

1258
01:59:31.440 --> 01:59:36.880
you instantly is there anything within the subject of that video and I was living at the

1259
01:59:36.880 --> 01:59:43.200
comments section it was a lot of people talking about how they feel someone has disrespected them

1260
01:59:43.200 --> 01:59:49.120
or that they feel they've been ignored or not heard is there anything you'd say to those people

1261
01:59:49.840 --> 01:59:58.400
being looked down upon being not taken seriously is actually your superpower and you have to

1262
01:59:58.400 --> 02:00:07.440
convert the energy of that frustration into what are you going to do in that environment next time

1263
02:00:07.440 --> 02:00:13.680
to be taken seriously I went to a charity event was about a decade ago now and I remember being

1264
02:00:13.680 --> 02:00:20.320
mortified because I was in this career pivot where I was making the decision to work with Brandon

1265
02:00:20.320 --> 02:00:27.360
and the husband my husband yeah and the proverbial question of like what do you do

1266
02:00:28.480 --> 02:00:34.560
came around to me and I fumbled the question and for the rest of that night and it was actually a

1267
02:00:34.560 --> 02:00:39.600
charity trip the person just didn't take me seriously and there were somebody that I wanted to

1268
02:00:39.600 --> 02:00:45.040
respect me and I was so pissed off at myself that I messed it up that I hadn't created something

1269
02:00:45.040 --> 02:00:51.440
at 22 years old that was more impressive that they would take me seriously and so I made it my

1270
02:00:51.440 --> 02:00:57.680
mission between that point and the next year when we would go on that trip for them to take me

1271
02:00:57.680 --> 02:01:02.960
seriously and I had to look at what do I have to do what do I have to create in order for somebody

1272
02:01:02.960 --> 02:01:09.680
to take a 24 year old seriously what did you have to do and create well I launched a podcast

1273
02:01:09.680 --> 02:01:14.640
and I had to work on this communication skill because I was terrified to communicate

1274
02:01:14.640 --> 02:01:20.640
I used to not be able to communicate like this I had a horrifying experience when I was in my early

1275
02:01:20.640 --> 02:01:26.640
20s where I was supposed to present this new leadership program that was being rolled out of this

1276
02:01:26.640 --> 02:01:31.520
organization and I was nervous ahead of time but was fairly confident in the material that I was

1277
02:01:31.520 --> 02:01:36.160
presenting and I walked up to the front of the room and I was the first person to speak it was

1278
02:01:36.160 --> 02:01:41.280
eight o'clock in the morning and I got through five minutes of my hour-long presentation I turned

1279
02:01:41.280 --> 02:01:46.480
around to the presentation screen to point out something and turned back to the audience and in

1280
02:01:46.480 --> 02:01:54.240
that moment I was instantly petrified the nerves took over every fiber of my body I could not

1281
02:01:54.240 --> 02:01:59.920
control what I was saying my thoughts and my words did not connect and I proceeded to give the

1282
02:01:59.920 --> 02:02:06.240
rest of my presentation that was supposed to take an additional 55 minutes in seven and then I sat

1283
02:02:06.240 --> 02:02:12.080
at the front of the room while everyone around me was talking about all the different components

1284
02:02:12.080 --> 02:02:16.800
of the things I was supposed to be highlighting because I just couldn't articulate them and from

1285
02:02:16.800 --> 02:02:23.280
that point for about four years I was unable to have a conversation with people that had a larger

1286
02:02:23.280 --> 02:02:29.520
group than four or five because this disconnect for me happened and this anxiousness took place

1287
02:02:30.320 --> 02:02:37.520
and I had to work on this skill to learn how to communicate and so I launched a podcast in the only

1288
02:02:37.520 --> 02:02:41.440
topic that I felt comfortable talking about at that point I didn't have some business expertise I

1289
02:02:41.440 --> 02:02:48.320
wasn't naive enough to think that somebody was going to listen to me at the wise age of 23 or 24

1290
02:02:48.320 --> 02:02:53.440
my early 20s and how to run a business so what did I know at that point and what was a problem

1291
02:02:53.440 --> 02:03:00.240
that I was seeing well I was actually around a group of people who were in age gap relationships

1292
02:03:00.240 --> 02:03:06.720
and having all these conversations in secret but wouldn't publicly talk about it and so I started

1293
02:03:06.720 --> 02:03:13.840
a podcast where I was talking about what it's like being a third marriage and being a stepmom and

1294
02:03:13.840 --> 02:03:18.960
how did we tell our parents and what are tools to navigate something that feels really crippling

1295
02:03:18.960 --> 02:03:24.320
and almost embarrassing to somebody who is a high performer and I proceeded to have that podcast

1296
02:03:24.320 --> 02:03:29.840
every single week and I made it my mission that year to make a toast at every single meal that made

1297
02:03:29.840 --> 02:03:36.080
sense for me to make a toast at so that I worked out this skill of communicating and working out the

1298
02:03:36.080 --> 02:03:40.960
skill of communicating is what allowed me to go from being in a room where I couldn't trust myself

1299
02:03:40.960 --> 02:03:48.160
to even introduce what I do to showing up the next year and having made progress on my communication

1300
02:03:48.160 --> 02:03:53.600
and saying hey I know that you didn't take me very seriously last year but this year I would never

1301
02:03:53.600 --> 02:03:59.120
say it like this but this year I've built this cool thing and I actually have this blog that has

1302
02:03:59.120 --> 02:04:05.520
thousands of readers every single month that is generating this revenue and you Mr. Oldman might not

1303
02:04:05.520 --> 02:04:09.360
have taken me seriously but I could probably help you in your business do the same thing because I

1304
02:04:09.360 --> 02:04:13.920
know that you don't know anything about this so I gained a skill in that process and was able to talk

1305
02:04:13.920 --> 02:04:18.960
about the skill that I knew was my angle the top comment on that video is being nice destroyed my life

1306
02:04:20.720 --> 02:04:27.600
I can understand of course it did the second comment is a friend to all is a friend to none

1307
02:04:28.400 --> 02:04:34.240
people really resonate with the topic of being liked first as being respected and

1308
02:04:35.120 --> 02:04:39.840
people give up their goals in order to be liked and they give up what they believe that they

1309
02:04:39.840 --> 02:04:45.920
can actually accomplish and thinking that it's okay to go all in on themselves in order to be

1310
02:04:45.920 --> 02:04:52.080
liked and so that message I know really resonated with people because I start out the video by talking

1311
02:04:52.080 --> 02:04:56.560
about the difference between respect and being liked and really making that a choice and it's an

1312
02:04:56.560 --> 02:05:03.200
active choice not a passive thing that just happens I wonder why that is I wonder why so many

1313
02:05:03.200 --> 02:05:10.240
people are really focused on the the idea of being liked they don't want to be disliked and they

1314
02:05:10.240 --> 02:05:14.880
want to be liked but in their pursuit of being liked they feel like they're self sabotaging in some

1315
02:05:14.880 --> 02:05:19.680
way like they're disrespecting themselves so then they end up wanting to be okay with not being

1316
02:05:19.760 --> 02:05:26.640
liked what is the the answer there in that vicious loop you have to choose who you want to be liked

1317
02:05:26.640 --> 02:05:32.160
by and if you choose that you want to be liked by people who are respectable you're not going to

1318
02:05:32.160 --> 02:05:37.120
lose if you choose that you want to be liked by your co-workers because they think it's cool to

1319
02:05:37.120 --> 02:05:44.960
shit on the company culture or to pretend like they're working but not really care then of course

1320
02:05:44.960 --> 02:05:49.040
you're going to get stuck in this vicious cycle because you actually want to be respected but you're

1321
02:05:49.040 --> 02:05:56.000
choosing to be liked by somebody that is not respectable and I think when you find yourself in

1322
02:05:56.000 --> 02:06:01.280
a position where people who are respectable do actually like you you start to like yourself a

1323
02:06:01.280 --> 02:06:06.400
little bit more because you've made sacrifices you have to have made sacrifices in order to drop

1324
02:06:06.400 --> 02:06:13.040
the person that you were to become this different version of yourself and that process is so painful

1325
02:06:13.040 --> 02:06:17.440
because you shed your identities and you shed people that you thought you needed to be dependent

1326
02:06:18.080 --> 02:06:25.200
but as soon as you shed that and you sound like a butterfly you metamorphosis into this new person

1327
02:06:26.080 --> 02:06:31.440
you will repeat that process over and over again because of the confidence that it brings you

1328
02:06:31.440 --> 02:06:36.880
and you like yourself and when you like yourself there's nothing better on this planet I love my

1329
02:06:36.880 --> 02:06:42.400
husband I love my team members I love my parents my brother there's there's no amount of

1330
02:06:43.280 --> 02:06:48.560
there's no greater joy that I have than actually being my own best friend and I don't say that

1331
02:06:48.560 --> 02:06:52.800
from like I'm just gonna hold your hand and we're just I'm just gonna be best friends with myself

1332
02:06:52.800 --> 02:06:58.560
I am brutally honest with myself about what I am bad at what I am good at and I don't

1333
02:06:59.120 --> 02:07:04.080
overindex either way I'm just honest with myself because I want to like me and when you like you

1334
02:07:04.880 --> 02:07:11.200
because you've put in work that you have to do to not lie to yourself about what you want then

1335
02:07:12.560 --> 02:07:18.160
the world is opened for you to pursue whatever opportunities because you like yourself and

1336
02:07:18.160 --> 02:07:22.400
you're good with yourself and that actually attracts more people who want to do cool shit with you

1337
02:07:22.400 --> 02:07:26.240
because most people don't like themselves and they're not their own best friend and they think

1338
02:07:26.240 --> 02:07:30.480
that that's silly but they are so mean to themselves and I get that because I used to be so mean

1339
02:07:30.480 --> 02:07:36.480
to myself and so critical nobody would ever say to me what I would say to myself I would never say

1340
02:07:36.480 --> 02:07:41.920
to a friend of mine or even my worst enemy what I used to say to myself and I had to work on

1341
02:07:41.920 --> 02:07:47.520
rewiring myself to understand why I was so critical and why I was so mean to myself to stop doing

1342
02:07:47.520 --> 02:07:53.600
that and to stop acting in that way that then allowed me to work on the things and fix the things

1343
02:07:53.600 --> 02:07:58.240
that I didn't like by myself for instance used to watch way too much reality television I hated

1344
02:07:58.240 --> 02:08:04.000
that I watched as much reality television as I watched but I loved all of the real house wives

1345
02:08:04.000 --> 02:08:10.240
everything on bravo but it made me feel crappy because I liked their lives instead of liking

1346
02:08:10.320 --> 02:08:15.760
my own lives my own life and when you like somebody else's life and you're living into something that

1347
02:08:15.760 --> 02:08:22.320
you don't feel good about do you end up being really rude to yourself for obvious reasons you're

1348
02:08:22.320 --> 02:08:26.560
not creating the thing that you want you're just circumventing you're like shortcutting it and

1349
02:08:26.560 --> 02:08:34.160
that stuff to me is just as powerful and maybe even just as harmful of a drug as hard drugs and

1350
02:08:34.160 --> 02:08:39.760
alcohol because it's escapism naturally thank you and I'm very excited to sit again with you

1351
02:08:39.760 --> 02:08:46.080
in some point in the future and get an update on your pps i appreciate that thank you please keep

1352
02:08:46.080 --> 02:09:10.880
doing what you're doing appreciate you