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Hey guys, welcome back to the WK Podcast!

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I am Michelle and today I'm joined by the wonderful Zoe!

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Zoe is always that weird gap because you don't know whether like you should say your name or the person's gonna introduce you so it's just like, okay, cool.

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Like, anyway Zoe is as of late is one of our newest members on team.

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What is your role Zoe? My role is, it has a long title, Digital Community Administrator, but basically I run the socials and I'll be replying to you guys in the comments.

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Yeah, that's me. If you leave us a comment, I'll reply to that.

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She'll be liking that. She'll be living if you're saying from crazy.

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Don't say anything crazy guys, just giving.

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Exposed!

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I love my hate.

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True, for real.

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Love your neighbor,

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as yourself.

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Okay, scripture.

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Okay, we have a job.

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Where is that in the Bible?

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Matthew.

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Anyway, cool.

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So today we'll be going into Zoe's story.

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We want to know who you are.

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So we wedded it all start.

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How did you get here?

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How did I get here?

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Yeah, right here in the seat.

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It's going to be, I like, she walked this morning.

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I like getting here.

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It's a bit of a long story.

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Like how do I get to know Jesus?

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Yeah, I mean, did you like, let's go from the top?

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From the top, let's go from the top.

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I grew up in a Christian household, raised by my wonderful mother.

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She was a woman of God.

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And yeah, like, I grew up going to church every Sunday.

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Went to youth group every Monday and, like, loved it.

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Well, I used to not like going to church in the morning, like, every Sunday,

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just because I don't want to get up for it.

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Sorry.

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And my mum would make me go and I'd be like, oh, mum, mum.

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No, mum, like, my other friends don't even go to church.

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I'm going to go home.

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And she'd be like, get up.

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I'm going to church, I'm going to church.

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Where's my mum from?

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From born in Nigeria, but came to the UK when she was 15.

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And I drew in body.

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Nigerian body.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, and I, like, I really enjoyed church, but, um, and always believed in God.

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That was the key thing.

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I never can remember a time where I didn't think that God was real.

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In fact, I remember defending God's existence to, um, like, an adult when I was, like, two years old.

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I remember, um, they were saying to me that, like, God didn't create me.

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It was just science that, like, maybe just, like, naturally, obviously, you know,

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how people make people.

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And anyways, and I was like, no, God made me, God created me.

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And I remember getting so angry, um, at that person for telling me that God wasn't real.

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Um, and like, that, I think that stuck with me all throughout, like, my childhood.

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I would always defend God's existence, um, in school.

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And to whoever would, like, even at youth group.

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Oh my gosh, I remember having a debate about, um, God leaving, um,

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leading the Israelites through the Red Sea.

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And Moses and like, having a debate with another youth member who was coming to youth,

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but wasn't a Christian and was basically just, like, slandering the character of God,

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um, in, like, uh, him leading the Egyptians, we're not leading the Egyptians,

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but how the Egyptians followed the Israelites into the Red Sea and obviously they were drowned.

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And I remember she was just, like, hating on God and I was like, hold my Bible.

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And then I like, don't even know what happened, but I just,

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was like, went off.

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And I think the Holy Spirit spoke through me.

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So I've always had a real like, um, staring to make people, like, if people speak to me about God,

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I'll say, yeah, I believe in him, but, um, at some point during my later, like, teenage years,

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I don't know when, but I just stopped caring as much about God.

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Like, like, my lifestyle wasn't centered around him, even though I was, like,

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even though I was going to church and going to youth groups and going to summer Christian camps,

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like, new wine, salsa viva, satellites, things like that.

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Um, um, but, yeah, I don't know why, but then I always believe that God was real.

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So, yeah, yeah, and at what point did that become real, like, real to you?

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When I was 10 or 11, I was at a summer camp called new wine.

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And they basically split all of, like, the kids group up into different ages.

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And at the time, club one was like, I know, 10 to 11, 10 to 12 year olds.

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And so I was in that group.

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And they were doing ministry time.

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And they were playing the worship team was playing oceans.

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But I also, you know,

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to calm me out of the waters.

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And while they were playing that, I had my first ever vision that I remember.

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And I can like still see it, like, to this day, like, um, with, with God.

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And I was so confused because I was like, what's going on?

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What's happening right now?

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But I remember clear as day, I had this vision that God gave me.

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And it was two oceans.

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So I always have a soft spot.

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So I'm just kind of like a bit of a joke to my friends.

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I'll be like, like, if oceans is playing a bit, oh, you're right, mate.

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Yeah, I'm going to have a moment.

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But, um, yeah, that was a really profound moment having that vision.

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Um, because I was really confused about what was happening.

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But knew that it was God.

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And, um, I remember somebody went up onto the stage of club one.

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And basically said, there's like somebody here and this is like,

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how, how God is wanting to speak to you.

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And basically kind of, okay, this is why I can't fully remember.

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But I remember how I felt.

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I think the guy said, um, something very similar to what my vision was.

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And I was like, what the heck?

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And then he did like an alter called to like come up and get prayed for.

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If that resonated, whatever he said, just resonated with you.

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And so I was like, yeah, I went to the front, um, got some prayer.

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I had a little sob, a little weep, um, got back up after that.

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Went back, carried on worshipping.

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And then got given a second vision, um, by God, which is different.

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Um, but after that, I was like, yeah, God, you're real.

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I've always known that you're real, but yeah, this is just a firm to exist.

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And were these visions like things that firm things in your life or highlighted things

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that you had to step away from are like, what were those visions?

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Um, I, yeah, I think it highlighted it actually touched on two things that were probably

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my biggest insecurities now like thinking about it in hindsight.

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Um, which was that I wasn't really like good enough.

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I had a lot of feelings of being unseen, I think growing up.

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Um, I really know why like, yeah, but I just had that.

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Um, feeling unseen and not being good enough.

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I think those are the main two things, um, not being enough, you know,

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I feel like there's quite, quite classic feelings, um, to have as you're growing up.

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Um, and I guess in part that could, could have been because you grew up with your mom,

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like your mom was there, but dad wasn't assuming.

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Yeah, he like, I love my dad so much, um, but he was not like my primary caregiver.

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It was my mom, like, um, yeah, I lived with my mom, was raised by my mom.

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My dad was kind of just in and out of the picture as I was growing up,

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um, which is fine.

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So like, at this point, you are like, okay, God, you are real.

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There's no doubt about it because I've, you've given me these two visions.

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I cannot deny your existence.

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What happened from that point on?

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Nothing changed for me, really.

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I think all that did for me, not all that did.

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What that did for me is that it solidified my foundation of faith,

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which was that I believed that Jesus Christ was real and that God is real.

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Um, but then I just went on to like the classic British secondary school thing where you're

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partying and like drinking and, um, just not really caring about like my faith as this center

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of my life. Um, yeah.

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And so it wasn't actually until I went to university that I had like, um,

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a real profound encounter with God or that was the marking moment in my, in my life and in my

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testimony, um, where I came back to Jesus. Um, yeah. And how did that come about? Like,

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I think like it's so relatable, relatable for me because that's kind of what my story was like

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because group and nutrition family had like in a broken home and, you know, I knew that Jesus

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was real. I knew that his existence was very much like, yeah, he's around. I know that he's

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the way the truth in the life. Yes. But that didn't become my reality until like I was like,

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really, really broken because I'd gone to the whole British party, sex drugs, all that root

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and then realized I was just so broken and that uni being at my complete end that the Lord really

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met me there. Yeah. No, that actually really resonates with me because when I was at uni in my

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first term, I, I was in a like a situation. It was not a relationship. Let me just be honest. Um,

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with this guy who was not a Christian. And, um, yeah, like it wasn't, it wasn't that bad,

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but definitely was not of God. And I remember one because I would say I was a Christian.

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Right. Like I would wear like my cross every day. I had a silver cross and I'd wear it every day.

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And I, but I was doing like the classic fresh lifestyle. Yeah, let's go clubbing. Let's drink every

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night. Let's dance to dream. And let's do it. Like that was me. That was literally the story of

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my life for the first three months of being at uni. And I actually loved it. Like I had a great time

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the clubbing bit. I loved the clubbing bit. But, um, along with that, I met this guy on the first

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night of freshers. What am I like? I was like, I looked at him and I said, yeah. I said, that,

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that road man over there. That's a bit of me that is. And so, um, yeah, like started seeing this guy.

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And I was very naive. I, um, when I was a fresher, um, just in terms of like what relationships look

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like I'd never been in one before. And I guess I still haven't because that was a situation

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ship. That man never asked me out. Um, and that's okay. I'm grateful for that. But let me get to the

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point. Essentially one night when I was with him, um, I heard God say to me, not audibly, but like,

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it was like in my mind, but I knew it wasn't for me. Um, I heard God say to me, this is not the man

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that I have ordained for you. Oh, and I was like, who said that? What was that? Because I was like,

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I know that was of me because I like this man. Yeah. And I was like, I was a bit shocked and taking

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a back like to be so honest, because I hadn't really heard from God like that since being at a

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summer camp, like a Christian summer camp where, you know, those moments are really like

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encouraged through ministry time and all those talks. Like, so I was just like, what's going on right now?

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But remember that. And it really marked me. And I remember the next day I spoke to my, like,

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one of my best friends at the time at uni. And like, I love him so much. Um, but I asked him for advice.

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I was like, oh, like, do you think that this situation, ship situation, whatever seeing this guy,

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however you want to frame it thing is like dishonoring God. And he, my friend was like, oh, no,

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it's fine. Like, oh, it doesn't matter. Um, if we keep on like sinning because God will forgive us.

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And like, God has grace here as I find. Okay. And I was like, that doesn't sound correct.

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Like in my mind, but I didn't say that to him. I was like, okay, like, thank you. Yeah. And, but

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it really like, I mean, his answer provoked me in a way that was like, that doesn't sound

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publicly correct to accurate. Yeah. Which it's not read Roman six guys. Um, but, um, it, that

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just really like ignited something in me. So I was like, wait, okay, what I'm doing isn't

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right in the eyes of God. And apparently this guy that I'm seeing isn't the guy that God has

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ordained for me. What does that even mean? Was that language? Does that mean I've got a man

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ordained for me? It's like to meet him. And like, it is just, I was like super confused,

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but super grateful because then that moment with God and then the following day with my friend

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um, encouraged me to then reflect on this relationship with this guy. And that it wasn't

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good. And I ended up breaking things off with him. Um, like New Year's Eve. Um, and so he went

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into like the New Year, like a fresh and like left that behind because I knew that it wasn't right.

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Yeah. Like I just knew it was the Holy Spirit convicting me, like looking back at it now. I just

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didn't have the language to put, um, yeah, the language for that. Um, but I'm really grateful for

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that experience because without, um, that guy, I wouldn't know. It would have led me to come

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walking back, I would say running back, walking back to God. Um, which I, yeah, I'm super grateful

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for that. And did that happen second year, first year? Oh, sorry, first year, first year uni.

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And I was it, when I was a silly fresh. Silly fresh. What were you sort of uni? I studied English.

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No. Yeah. It's fun. I just read a lot of books and already, yeah, read a lot of books and wrote essays

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and presentations. I think it's a bread and butter. My bread and butter? Yes. I enjoyed it very much.

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So then what did the rest of your uni experience look like? Because, um, and like that with your

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faith? Yes. Because I'm assuming your friends must have, like, been like, what's happened to this girl?

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Like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't really have many friends to be honest. Like my

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family. I'm so honest. Same. Like, I'm not lie. My, no, a majority of, I had one really close friend

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who was my flatmate, um, Izzy. And I think she saw the biggest change in me because she was

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that she living with me, even in the fact that, um, this was from first year to second year,

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her seeing this change, because it was like, throughout first year that I was having this,

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like pull back to God, right? And I'll go into more of what that looked like coming back in January.

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But it was definitely Izzy that saw the most change in me because we lived together first year

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and second year. So she saw, like, um, BC Zoe in terms of just was living for the world. And then

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she saw, like, in love with Jesus. So he was like, wow, church, Jesus, small group on a Thursday,

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serving like it was like crazy contrast. I think she was about like, what the heck is going on?

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But yeah. Um, but yeah. So when I got back to uni in January, I think God was just a bit more

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on my mind and I was less into like the clubbing, drinking, because when I was drinking in first term,

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I would drink every night to get drunk. And like, I got blackouts so many times, blackout drunk,

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which is when you're just completely inebriated and just can't even do anything or function.

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So I'm super grateful to my friends that got me through that time. But um, thanks for taking me

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home. Thanks for taking me home. Thanks for putting in Uber. I even left my phone in an Uber after

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getting drunk one time. And then the next Izzy, like, helped me get my phone back in the Uber

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drive. Uber, Uber guide drove back and kept my phone for me. I've had so many stories like that

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where it's just a result of my just really poor decisions where I just, I'm left in a vulnerable

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position. But um, no, coming, coming back in January felt like a really fresh start because I

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didn't have this guy in my messages anymore from my room. And I just had, I don't know,

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God is just more in my mind. And I can't really describe it in any other way than it felt like God

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had a lasso, a lasso. I didn't have to say that around me and was like gently pulling me in.

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And I was just not resisting anymore. I was, I was kind of like, okay, Lord, I'm feeling

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about you. Yeah. And I think it was over that period of time like January to April where I was

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really like, okay, yeah, God, yeah, God, okay, yeah. And it just felt like what was just asking me like,

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give me your yes, like give me your yes, give me your yes. And I just was kind of half, half in,

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half out, which yeah, um, it's not great. But in that time as well, two of my closest friends from

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home also came to know Jesus. One of them who was like a pastor's kid and so had like knowledge and

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context for Christianity is and another who wasn't from a Christian family. But all three of us

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like came to basically know Jesus in this same like amount of time, which was amazing because

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then when we went home, we had the support system of like like sisters in Christ that we never had

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before. Um, I was like, yeah, just I mean completely from God that he that he, um, that you revealed

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himself to us all in like a really close frame and of time so that we could have each other when

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we got back from you need to be like, well, that was crazy. Um, wasn't that like, let's pray now. Yeah.

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But yeah, so shout out to Katie and Caitlin. I made two close friends from home. Yeah.

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And the timing of that is beautiful though to see that how like God is like weaving all of your

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lives together in a sense that like you're going to have, but there's like sisters around you to

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help you sort of grow in this like, you know, re re-ignited fire within your heart,

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re-ignite to flame within your heart for the Lord. Yeah. Um, that's so awesome. And like,

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obviously you moved you ended up moving to London. What was what's the gap in between there like

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from uni to London? Mm hmm. All of that. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I really tell you what happened. So

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basically, I came, so had Easter break at home, realising me and my friends all together love

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Jesus now. Awesome. Super intentional from God. Love that. And then went back to uni for like,

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we had a third semester. I went to Nottingham and, um, it was like really short basically just for

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exams and coursework. So it wasn't there for long. But in that time, I was like, I'm going to find

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my church now. Like I need to, I need to have a place where I can grow my faith and be a community

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with other Christians. And so like my best friend Katie came up and we were like, we went to these

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two churches and I was like, okay, this is the church I'm going to go to when I come back after

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summer break, which is a church called Trent Vineyard in Nottingham, which loved that church so much.

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And yeah, so then went home after that, which I was kind of sad about because I was like, I was so

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excited to like restart my life at uni. Excuse me, like, but with Jesus at the centre. And so

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went home and was like, super happy that I like said yes to God now. And it was, I think at the

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start of August where I started getting these thoughts of like, they were just not nice thoughts.

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It was basically like, they were all around feeling unseen, which is like what I was saying earlier

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when I was growing up, I felt like unseen at that point. So I think it was just like an underlying

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kind of insecurity that I had not being enough and not being wanted in spaces. And

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this, like, I felt like the enemy like Satan really kind of honed in on that insecurity that I

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already had to like kind of make me want to draw, draw away from God. And he, the enemy,

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where I say he was putting in my mind, like the word invisible, like he kept saying to me,

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you are invisible, you're invisible, you're unseen. If you weren't in a room, nobody would care,

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like nobody would even notice if you weren't there anymore, you're invisible, you're unseen.

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And it was like these repetitive, like negative thoughts just over and over and over again

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after I'd said yes to Jesus. And at the time, I don't think I knew that it was an attack from the

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enemy, but now I know that definitely was. Yeah. And so I went to, I went through Christian camps

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that summer because I was obviously I was on fire. I was like, yes, I'm getting back into it,

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like I'm going to serve and I'm going to receive. So I went to a new wine and satellites and

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David's tent with three different like Christian festivals. And I served it the first two new

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wine and satellites on the kids team. And I remember even just in moments of serving at new wine,

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like obviously you make friends with all the different people you're serving with.

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And like there would just be little moments where maybe I was like overlooked by accident

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in a conversation. Like something as simple as everyone says everyone else's name, but not mine.

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And then I'd, because of the thoughts I've been having about being unseen and unnoticed.

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It was like a firm. It was like so affirming to the thoughts that the enemy had been putting in my

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head. And so I was just, I was having a rough time like mentally. But alongside that it's strange

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because I was also having like encounters with God where I'd be giving more visions and words

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like I was giving the word weight by my friend. And it was just, it was weird. It was like

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in tangent. I was being spoken to by God. And I was being like whispered to by the devil.

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It was just weird. It felt like, yeah, I was just strange. And then

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got to the end of summit. It was David's tent. It was my first time going. And

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David's tent is now like my favourite summer festival because I love worship. I love to sing

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to God, to sing to Jesus. It's one of my favourite things to do. And

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David's tent is basically a festival where it's 72 hours of non-stop worship to God. And I was like,

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that is a bit of me get me there. And so I went with my friends and it was the first,

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you know, it was the last night because it's only 72 hours. And I was waiting for my friend to get

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like chips at the food truck. And I was just stood like outside the queue like scratching my head,

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like not very elegant or anything as I was waiting for him to get his chips. And then this like

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older woman was in the queue and she steps out of the queue and she walks like towards me.

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But it looks like she's going to walk past me because David's tent like the big tent that we

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were worshiping is behind me. And so I thought she's just going to walk past me. But she stops like

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right in front of me and she goes, wow, you are radiant. You are glowing. So did you

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become a recent believer? And I was like, oh, like no, I've always believed in God. But yeah,

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like I gave my yesterday's to Jesus in my April this year. She was like, yeah, I can see that

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on you. And then she gave me a hug and then whispered in my ear and it sounds so weird,

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but it felt so normal at the time. So it whispered in my ear and was hugging me and like

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prophesied over me and then spoke scripture over me, which I didn't know it was scripture until

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like last year when I clocked it. I was like, oh my goodness, wait a minute. But she spoke

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like Psalm 27 verse 14 over me at the end of what she spoke to me, which was wait for the Lord

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to be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. And already at new wine, I've been given the

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word wait by my other friend whose name was Ben and he was like, I don't know if this means anything,

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but I thought God's just telling me to wait. I was like, Jill, I'll wait then. So that in itself

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was a word that was affirmed by two different people, two different points of time. And after

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this woman, I guess prophesied over me, but give me a word of knowledge. I didn't know.

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Yeah, I was so gassed. I was so excited. And I like ran over to my friends. I was like,

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God, I think I just got prophesied over. I didn't know what's going on. And they were like,

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hey, yeah. And I was like, yeah, cool, let's go worship. And so we went back into the tent.

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And I'm worshipped until like four. Then went sleep, woke up the next day. And it was the final

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day of worship and final morning, because it finishes at I think two o'clock or three o'clock on

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the final morning. And I was just sat like kind of near the back of the tent with my friend Hannah.

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And we were just chatting like we weren't worshipping at this point. And then a young girl,

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probably in her twenties, came up to me, who I don't know. I think I think her name was Lily,

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but I like, I can't remember, but I feel like her name was Lily. And she came up to me and she

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was like, oh, excuse me. I know this is really strange, but I think I might have a word from God

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for you. And I was like, what? I was like, for me, for me. And I said, girl, don't even worry if it,

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like, it doesn't matter if it doesn't resonate or anything. Like, thank you for coming up for me.

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And if it doesn't mean anything, it's fine. We'll just pretend nothing happened. Because she

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was really nervous to share with me. Because she was like, I know it's just really weird. I know I

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don't know you. I don't know. I just want to talk to you. I was like, no, please, like do just share.

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She was like, okay. So the word that I have for you is like, she was like, it's just one word.

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I don't know if it will mean anything. But and I was like, no, it's okay. Like,

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encouraging her to share with me. And she was like, yeah, so like the word that I had from God

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for you is radiance. And I literally, oh my God. I was like, what? Wow. I just started smiling

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because I was in shock that she just said radiance. And the woman the night before the older woman

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had, but like, that's the first thing she said to me while you were radiant. And I was like,

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what the heck is going on right now? And so I told, I told because then Lily was like,

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oh, does that mean anything? And I was like, yes, that means something. And I told her like,

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what happened the night before? And she was, Lily was so happy that she'd shared with me. And

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that it resonated. And I think it affirmed my faith in God definitely, but it affirmed her faith

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as well for sharing, like taking that leap of faith, that little whisper that's saying, go speak,

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go speak to this person and say, I have this word for them. Like she was obedient to God's voice.

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And it's sprung up so much fruit in my life. And like, yeah, I'm so grateful that Lily was

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obedient to the voice of God in that moment. And so then she was like, can I pray for you? Can I

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just consecrate the word radiance over your life? And I was like, yes, you can. And so she prayed

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for me. And it was like, super nice to meet her. And I was like, okay, bye. Have a best day ever.

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Thank you so much. You're awesome. And after that moment, I was like, God, I knew you were real

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before, but I know you're so real right now. Thank like, thank you so much for speaking to me like this.

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And I was like, I know I've given you my yes already, but here's my yes again. And on top of that,

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I'm going to like get stuck in the church. I'm going to do other things, going to be like a

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super Christian, like, whatever. And yeah. And then I went back to uni in second year.

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Oh, yeah, I forgot. Sorry, I forgot this, but I also stopped drinking that summer because I felt

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called a call from God to stop drinking because like, as I was saying before, my first time

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of first year at uni was just basically just the classic fresher thing about drinking and

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partying and drinking and partying and drinking and partying. And so for me, drinking wasn't a healthy

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thing, wasn't a healthy cycle. I was always drinking to get drunk. I was never drinking just like one

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drink or two drinks. I would always, always, always take it too far. And I didn't actually enjoy

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like the taste of alcohol, like maybe like, I could cocktail, but mocktails would do now.

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But yeah, so that's another, I always forget that that happened, but that's another thing that

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God transformed in me. And it felt so easy to let go of as well. I wasn't like, no, but God,

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I love getting drunk with my friends. It's so fun to just like have no cares in the world and do

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this and just be funny and whatever. But he just completely just released that from me. I didn't

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even feel like a bird and I had to let go of. I was just like, yeah, here you go. So easy. So it

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was like so easy genuinely. And then when I got back to uni, my best friend messaged me Katie,

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my best friend from home. And she was like, hey, girl, I was just reading this like bit in the bible

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and it reminded me of what happened to you at David's tent because I like told her about this

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crazy word that I was given by these two women in the space of like 12 hours really because I went

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to bed at 4 a.m. And yeah, so yeah, 12 hours. And it was the scripture that she sent me was

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X to 34 verse 29 to 35. I'm remembering like correctly, which is subtitled in the NIV Bible,

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the radiant face of Moses. And I was like, what the heck? This is in the bible like the word

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radiant. And so I went and I read it for myself because I don't know why, but I'd never ever read that

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or even knew that was like a scripture, even though obviously knew about 10 commandments and all

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that. But I didn't know that happened when Moses came down from the mountain. And so I read it for

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myself. And as I was reading it, God gave me a few revelations. And basically like the reason

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that Moses' face was radiant was because he'd spend so much time in such close proximity to the

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glory of God. His face was radiant because he'd been spending so much time in the presence of the one

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who made him. And I mean, Moses asked, show me your glory, God. So when he came back down from the

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mountain, he had to wear a veil when he was like reunited with the Israelite people because his

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face was just too bright for them. And they were like, what's going on? Yeah. And as I was reading

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that, God spoke to me through his scripture, through his word, which he often does. And he said,

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it is impossible for you to be invisible and radiant at the same time. And I was like,

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huh, wait a minute. And I like, it was in that moment where it was like, God's saying to me,

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listen to my voice, not not the enemies because my voice is truth. And he can only lie. He is the

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father of lies. Listen to my voice. And I was like, wow, I was like, yeah, that's insane because I

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didn't even like clock that. Of course, it's completely impossible to be invisible and radiant.

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You're not going to be glowing whilst you're unseen, are you? And so it was just like, yeah,

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it was just a huge moment for me. And then in that as well, God just revealed to me how he knew

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at the start of time that he was going to use that precious moment with Moses where he gave him

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the Ten Commandments and then returns back to give them to the Israelite. That God was going to

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use that moment to speak into my life. However many thousands of years later to affirm my coming back

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to him to like solidify my coming back and running back into the arms of my father. God knew

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he was going to do that when he was speaking to Moses on the mountain. What the heck? And I was just

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like completely like mind blown as to like the intricacy and the intentionality of God. And

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just like how thoughtful he is and how kind he is and how gentle he is. And I was just very much

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awestruck by yeah totally. I mean like what is Alpha and Omega beginning in the end knows you

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completely and he knew that like you know he can I just I mean I've got some just a thought of

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like how God can completely shatter lives of the enemy. Yeah. Amen. That truth really brings so

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much light in the place that feels really dark. Yeah. That scripture that goes the light shines

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bright and the darkness hasn't overcome it. And that's just like so evident in your life and how

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I love how like the Lord gave you that revelation that like yes Satan is the father of lies.

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And he's all he does is still kill and destroy. And he was trying to speak his little lies into your

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ear to like make like literally steal from you. Yeah steal this radiance of the Lord has spoken over

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you. Yeah so powerful. I know. And it's like yeah it just literally changed my life. And then

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went back to Union second year and was like I've been given the bottom floor like we drew lots

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for our rooms right. But I drew the lot for the bottom floor like bay window room that's like

391
00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:42.400
kind of at the front of the house. And Izzy told me later on that she was so grateful that I got that

392
00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:45.920
room because it's like basically as soon as you walk in the front door it's like then my room's

393
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:51.600
on the right. She was so grateful because like then she wouldn't have to drag me upstairs

394
00:36:51.600 --> 00:36:57.920
after nights out from how much I've been drinking. Like she was thinking about that and anticipating

395
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:03.040
that when we drew lots before we moved in. And then I got back and second year was like I love

396
00:37:03.040 --> 00:37:10.640
Jesus now. Are you drinking? Yeah and I stopped swearing as well like I used to swear so much like

397
00:37:10.640 --> 00:37:19.440
every other word in first year. It was really bad genuinely every other word but like God also just

398
00:37:20.240 --> 00:37:27.600
like I didn't even know it didn't fit. The thing is with like giving up drinking and then

399
00:37:27.600 --> 00:37:33.520
stopping swearing it didn't feel difficult at all. It was completely God who just was like yeah I'm

400
00:37:33.520 --> 00:37:39.040
going to just uproot that little weed there. Let me just do some gardening in your heart here.

401
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:46.960
And yeah so I was back and was like yeah I don't I don't enjoy clubbing anymore like I just don't

402
00:37:47.520 --> 00:37:52.400
and like I like dancing with friends that's fun but it's just being in that environment

403
00:37:53.680 --> 00:37:59.760
where you just like where I just know the intentions of a lot of the people in there.

404
00:38:00.720 --> 00:38:06.320
It's like to sleep with each other, go home like forget about you the next day. Basically just

405
00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:12.480
use each other for their bodies, get completely like wasted and like high whatever it is like

406
00:38:12.560 --> 00:38:17.520
I just I knew the intentions of people. Some people go to clubbing because they like to dance and

407
00:38:18.160 --> 00:38:23.360
that's so chill. But like it reminds me so much of like I literally can vividly see the time

408
00:38:23.360 --> 00:38:29.280
that I had come back to the Lord and this was like like first year of uni as well. Late first year

409
00:38:29.280 --> 00:38:35.280
of uni where like God was like re you know pulling me back to him like he was doing with you and I

410
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:39.120
remember like because that was just a norm. Do you know what I mean like at uni you just go out

411
00:38:39.120 --> 00:38:43.920
clubbing you go out drinking yeah you do all the things that everyone else doing because that's

412
00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:50.640
just what everyone does. Yeah it's a way of life and I remember going to this club in Edinburgh

413
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:56.800
I'm being there and like not enjoy I've never really enjoyed drinking I hate the taste of it

414
00:38:56.800 --> 00:39:03.600
but I just did it because it got me drunk. So when I remember being a little bit tipsy and for some

415
00:39:03.600 --> 00:39:08.720
reason like I just sobered up and I was in the middle of a club and I was at the back and I was

416
00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:13.760
looking into like do you know the main area where people like dance yeah yeah I was looking into

417
00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:19.840
there and I just felt like the Holy Spirit say like you're not meant to be here like this isn't

418
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:25.200
a place for you and I just looked and I was like dang like what am I even doing here and that

419
00:39:25.200 --> 00:39:29.920
was literally the point where I was just like I don't like clubbing anymore wow this is like

420
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:34.800
I don't enjoy it I'm not meant to be here yeah you know and that's so real it's like

421
00:39:35.680 --> 00:39:42.240
because God was like changing me from the inside out and transforming my heart and

422
00:39:42.240 --> 00:39:47.360
renewing my mind yeah and it's then when I was going back into those spaces that are extremely

423
00:39:47.360 --> 00:39:55.840
like worldly yeah and I'd say like the devil's playground totally totally they're like polar

424
00:39:55.840 --> 00:40:02.320
offices fear that's so out of place yeah and yeah I just I just didn't do it anymore and I remember

425
00:40:02.560 --> 00:40:07.440
my housemates were like what the heck who was this girl that's moved back in yeah because I'd like

426
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:12.480
invite them to church almost every week like try not to be annoying but guys like I'm going to my

427
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:17.520
church is 7 p.m. service like do you want to come no okay yeah that's fine but I keep just inviting

428
00:40:17.520 --> 00:40:23.040
them and like going to small group on a Thursday I loved my small group and it was such like

429
00:40:24.480 --> 00:40:29.040
yeah it was really helpful in processing a lot of emotions we got like real deep at different

430
00:40:29.040 --> 00:40:35.280
points um I still wasn't like fully integrated into my church though in second year for some

431
00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:41.440
reason what did you mean by that like I don't I don't know what I mean actually I feel like

432
00:40:42.400 --> 00:40:46.800
what I'm why I'm saying that is because I'm looking back at my third year of uni and my second

433
00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:54.080
year of uni experience and third year I felt so much more in the church community than I did in

434
00:40:54.080 --> 00:40:58.960
second year that could just be because it comes with time and being in a space for like a year

435
00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:03.680
obviously you get to know more people so you're gonna feel more integrated over time but like also

436
00:41:03.680 --> 00:41:08.240
I was doing the same things like I was attending small group I was serving on teams and go to church

437
00:41:08.240 --> 00:41:14.480
on a Sunday and then going like to the pub after church to do the social thing socializing thing

438
00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:22.160
but I still like in third year it just felt more like I was I was in it I was part of the church

439
00:41:22.160 --> 00:41:26.720
and second year I wonder whether it's I wonder whether it was the fact that like the revelation

440
00:41:26.720 --> 00:41:32.640
of the fact that like you can't be radiant and invisible at the same time like just sinking in

441
00:41:32.640 --> 00:41:36.960
yeah maybe I think as well it does just take time when you enter into a new

442
00:41:36.960 --> 00:41:44.000
third community to get settled and to become familiar with people and the environment and the culture

443
00:41:44.240 --> 00:41:55.440
church and everything but Jesus like transformed my life in that in that time and my second year

444
00:41:55.440 --> 00:42:01.360
and third year of uni were amazing because Jesus was them at the center of my life like everything

445
00:42:01.360 --> 00:42:08.720
became well not everything became easier but I had God to lean on when things were harder especially

446
00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:18.400
with like deadlines and you know like there was so many times I wanted to drop out because of

447
00:42:18.400 --> 00:42:24.240
like the workload or whatever or I just didn't understand something and I'd be like oh I don't

448
00:42:24.240 --> 00:42:27.120
know if I can do this anymore I just want to drop out I want to go home I want to travel

449
00:42:27.120 --> 00:42:33.040
the world to gap year and work and then I just be like I hear wait God yeah wait God please

450
00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:39.760
wait God you're going to be easy and your burden is like please help and yeah so yeah like

451
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:45.040
it was really God that powered me through that those final two years especially when it comes to

452
00:42:45.040 --> 00:42:55.760
like my deadlines and even my my third year house I was living with Christians in third year because

453
00:42:55.760 --> 00:43:00.880
I was living with non-Christians in the first year and second year and it was just so different

454
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:08.400
to to live in a in a Christian home in third year and I became super super close to two of my

455
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:16.960
housemates Rebecca and Lucy from third year who are amazing women of God and I think as well

456
00:43:16.960 --> 00:43:22.400
that's probably what I felt more integrated in third year was because I had like a base

457
00:43:23.200 --> 00:43:30.000
but I was just I was just surrounded by God and God the people and yeah but my unique experience

458
00:43:30.080 --> 00:43:38.320
wasn't perfect but I don't think anyone's no no no it was it's mine and I yeah I loved it and I'm

459
00:43:38.320 --> 00:43:46.160
super grateful for it and now I have great friends from that church at Trent Vineyard who like I love

460
00:43:46.160 --> 00:43:54.080
and support me yeah and oh yeah now I'm in London yeah what happened the story in that is crazy

461
00:43:54.160 --> 00:44:00.880
in itself but essentially it's like to cut a long story short when I graduated I didn't know what

462
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:08.240
I was doing next had literally no idea and I prayed to God when I handed in my final essay like

463
00:44:08.240 --> 00:44:17.200
submitted and I was like Lord God now what now I was like Lord I have no idea what I want to do

464
00:44:17.200 --> 00:44:24.240
next in my life genuinely not one clue I pray Lord Jesus that your will be done in my life

465
00:44:24.240 --> 00:44:29.680
in this next season in Jesus name Amen it was that prayer you're like your will be done you're

466
00:44:29.680 --> 00:44:35.520
going to come in my life and then like two weeks after that or whenever it was I saw because I

467
00:44:35.520 --> 00:44:41.920
followed the way on Instagram that you guys posted a story with this internship on and to apply

468
00:44:41.920 --> 00:44:46.240
to apply for it and I wasn't going to because I was like why would I apply for that they've got

469
00:44:46.240 --> 00:44:50.960
loads of followers I'm not going to they're not even going to notice me and almost didn't and

470
00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:57.120
then my friend Rebecca was like so we what do you mean just apply for it don't be silly like

471
00:44:57.120 --> 00:45:03.040
what's the worst that can happen then applied for it had a whole thing application wasn't working

472
00:45:03.040 --> 00:45:08.400
so I was like okay is this a sign from God to not do this fine no it's just an error on our

473
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:16.640
it's just an admin error it was like 200 characters instead of 200 words like like five words

474
00:45:16.640 --> 00:45:25.600
I literally wrote hi my name is Zoe and this is how Jesus can write anything else but that

475
00:45:25.600 --> 00:45:31.520
admin error made me think that I wasn't supposed to come and do this internship and so then I forgot

476
00:45:31.600 --> 00:45:41.440
about the the way doing that and then the Lord or yeah I was just reminded of of the application

477
00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:46.960
on the night of the deadline and so then you know I had the tab open on my laptop I lose the tabs

478
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:54.240
open on my laptop I had it open just in case I guess and then God reminded me the deadlines

479
00:45:54.240 --> 00:45:58.720
tonight I was like the deadlines tonight and then I like did the application it worked this time

480
00:45:58.720 --> 00:46:08.880
sent it through prayed over it and then yeah then I got rejected and I got rejected from the way

481
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:14.160
and so it was going to do it then interviewed for a different like ministry stream at the church

482
00:46:14.160 --> 00:46:21.840
that was doing the discipleship year got into that and then this all happens so quickly but like

483
00:46:21.840 --> 00:46:26.880
then in the frame of like two weeks after that so it was the end of August the discipleship

484
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:32.400
year started on the 17th of September right and I thought that I was doing like the worship

485
00:46:33.360 --> 00:46:43.920
stream then and the guy who's in charge of the dy calls me up unlike the week after that so

486
00:46:43.920 --> 00:46:51.360
like the first week of September and was like oh actually the way have space for you but also

487
00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:56.480
worship have space for you but you need to make a decision between the two of them and you have

488
00:46:56.480 --> 00:47:02.720
four days I had the same thing did you I had four days before the deadline to to make a decision what

489
00:47:02.720 --> 00:47:08.160
the heck that's going to be weird wait that's weird and then he was like so just pray about it and then

490
00:47:08.160 --> 00:47:12.000
let us know in email by monday and I was like okay and I was working at the time so I didn't have

491
00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:16.960
time to be really like intentional in my prayer but one evening I went to this like beautiful like

492
00:47:16.960 --> 00:47:23.280
hilly place near and I was praying and I was like lord what do I do the way or worship

493
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:29.440
and like got raised like extension about it but ultimately I didn't really feel like I was given

494
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:37.280
an answer on which one to do it felt like my choice and like my mum gave me advice and she was

495
00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:42.720
like yeah I think you should do the way because it's such a cool opportunity and like you'll learn

496
00:47:42.720 --> 00:47:47.840
so many new things and also you might be able to do worship alongside the way which you were able

497
00:47:47.840 --> 00:47:53.360
to which I was able to do then when I started the dy so praise god for that and then god

498
00:47:53.360 --> 00:48:00.320
sorted accommodation for me in london that wasn't sorted until like the 6th of september so which is

499
00:48:00.320 --> 00:48:04.720
such a crazy story as well I don't know if you have time to dive into that now but like your whole

500
00:48:04.720 --> 00:48:11.040
accommodation story yes a lot as well yeah my combination story yeah god just provided a place

501
00:48:11.040 --> 00:48:17.440
for me to stay for a crazy cheap rent in london and it's such a nice place yeah it blows my mind

502
00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:24.480
yeah it's crazy and I did the the discipleship here and then god provided a job for me here

503
00:48:24.480 --> 00:48:30.560
with the way team so really he's just carried me and helped me for like my whole life such a good

504
00:48:30.560 --> 00:48:37.280
father such a father especially in these past like three years oh yes sorry sorry it's incredible

505
00:48:37.280 --> 00:48:45.920
and it gives me goosebumps I mean like hearing yeah the holly like the faithfulness of god is so

506
00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:51.600
evidence throughout your life from the very beginning to the point where you're sat in this chair

507
00:48:51.600 --> 00:48:57.600
right now you know like he is so intentional with everything every aspect of your life every area

508
00:48:57.600 --> 00:49:03.200
and he still is and he's still writing on stuff I mean he's still taking you along on that journey

509
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:08.480
yeah and like this is just the beginning and I'm super super excited for you and I'm like so

510
00:49:08.480 --> 00:49:14.240
blessed I got to call you a good friend um but thank you so much for sharing your story yeah more

511
00:49:14.240 --> 00:49:20.160
pleasure yeah guys you'll be seeing more of Zoe so comment down below in the little comment section

512
00:49:20.160 --> 00:49:26.960
give some love like give Zoe some love we like oh we love you because we do love Zoe um but

513
00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:32.000
thank you so much for tuning in for this incredible testimony and you'll be seeing more of Zoe

514
00:49:32.720 --> 00:49:36.960
yes sir we'll see you in the next podcast yeah oh oh embarrassing

515
00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:43.680
it's gonna say coin an ocean emoji but for the ocean song comment an ocean emoji if you see this

516
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:50.800
bye guys