WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.800 This was the culmination of everything my parents dreamed of for me. 2 00:00:04.800 --> 00:00:06.000 Yeah, the pinnacle moment. 3 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:08.800 Right. This was essentially the moment where they were like, 4 00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:10.000 okay, you can do what you want now. 5 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:12.400 But I'm like, I don't know how. 6 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:14.600 I don't know how to live for myself. 7 00:00:14.600 --> 00:00:20.600 I don't know how to even think about what it means to like enjoy something. 8 00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:25.400 I just spent the last like 14 years of my life chasing a dream 9 00:00:25.400 --> 00:00:28.600 that I was never even really that sure I wanted for myself. 10 00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:32.000 And so yeah, I started, I started working as a doctor. 11 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:35.200 Obviously the anxiety was still there. 12 00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:41.600 I had to go less than full time at points because I just couldn't like handle that space. 13 00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:50.800 Yeah, and so it was the kind of gradual unpacking of an identity so steeped in a vocation 14 00:00:50.800 --> 00:00:56.000 that I basically wanted to give up for something else. 15 00:00:56.200 --> 00:00:58.600 Hey guys, welcome back to the way K podcast. 16 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:02.200 My name is Michelle and I'm joined by my wonderful co-host Zoe. 17 00:01:02.200 --> 00:01:05.200 Hey, and today we've got a really good one for you guys. 18 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:10.800 We will be diving into one of our good friends, Danny and a walker story. 19 00:01:10.800 --> 00:01:13.000 Woohoo. Big up. 20 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:15.000 Why am I here? This is so cool. 21 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:16.600 This is so cool. 22 00:01:16.600 --> 00:01:17.600 Yeah. 23 00:01:17.600 --> 00:01:22.000 More commonly known as Danny Trisings and social media, so yeah. 24 00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:25.400 But before we get into Danny's story, I just want to say guys, 25 00:01:25.400 --> 00:01:29.400 if you're tuning in on YouTube, make sure to subscribe and put a little comment 26 00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:31.800 or like this podcast. 27 00:01:31.800 --> 00:01:35.600 And similarly, if you're tuning in from Spotify or Apple podcast, 28 00:01:35.600 --> 00:01:39.600 make sure to follow and give us a little review because here at the way 29 00:01:39.600 --> 00:01:45.200 our mission is to reach every young person on social media with a good news of Jesus. 30 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:46.600 And you're doing that. 31 00:01:46.600 --> 00:01:47.800 You are helping us do that. 32 00:01:47.800 --> 00:01:51.000 So without further ado, let's dive into Danny's story. 33 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:52.400 That was so slick. 34 00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:54.400 Yo, you prepared for that. 35 00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:56.600 For those who don't know Danny, 36 00:01:56.600 --> 00:02:01.400 Danny is doctor turning the content creator in. 37 00:02:01.400 --> 00:02:03.400 Emma. 38 00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:04.400 Whoa. 39 00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:08.400 But we can dive into what you do now later on. 40 00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:12.200 But I'd love to hear more about, you know, where did you come to faith? 41 00:02:12.200 --> 00:02:13.400 When did you come to faith? 42 00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:15.800 And how did you come to know God? 43 00:02:15.800 --> 00:02:17.400 What's the story behind that? 44 00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:18.400 Hmm. 45 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:19.600 Great question. 46 00:02:20.600 --> 00:02:29.000 I think mine is a kind of classic story of having a family who loved Jesus 47 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:34.000 and the journey of trying to love him and be loved by him myself. 48 00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:42.400 So I grew up genuinely believing that I was like the only Christian under 18. 49 00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:46.600 Like I didn't go to social survivor, didn't know existed, didn't go to like 50 00:02:46.600 --> 00:02:50.800 any of the kind of youth festivals because I was in this very small, 51 00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:56.400 like evangelical Nigerian church, which had like two or three people 52 00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:00.000 under the age of, under the age of like 18. 53 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:06.000 And I went to a school that was like incredibly diverse and hosted 54 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:08.200 like such a diversity of religion. 55 00:03:08.200 --> 00:03:11.800 But I just knew no kind of Christians. 56 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:17.400 And so faith for me growing up was genuinely like quite isolating. 57 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:21.200 It was one of those things where I tried to read my Bible 58 00:03:21.200 --> 00:03:23.200 because I felt like that was a good thing. 59 00:03:23.200 --> 00:03:24.200 Right. 60 00:03:24.200 --> 00:03:28.200 I had like a couple of kind of core thoughts about what it meant to be a Christian. 61 00:03:28.200 --> 00:03:34.000 Like you don't drink, you don't have sex, you try not to swear, avoid porn. 62 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:38.200 Like it was like just kind of very basic things that I was like, 63 00:03:38.200 --> 00:03:41.600 okay, that's what Christians do. 64 00:03:41.600 --> 00:03:45.200 And that's basically what I tried to do genuinely from the age of about 65 00:03:45.200 --> 00:03:48.000 from, you know, 1112 until I was 18. 66 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:50.600 That's kind of what faith meant to me. 67 00:03:50.600 --> 00:03:54.000 It was like these are the rules, these are precepts. 68 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:57.400 Try not to do that and you'll be okay. 69 00:03:57.400 --> 00:04:00.400 And I remember being like, you're the Christians are going to be extinct 70 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:04.000 when I like when I'm done because I was like, I don't know anyone. 71 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.000 Well, where did you grow up? 72 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.400 I grew up in like a little town called Egum. 73 00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:12.400 I went to school in a town called Slau. 74 00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:15.200 And yeah, like it was so funny. 75 00:04:15.200 --> 00:04:18.200 My parents like we used to live in kind of kind of deeper West London. 76 00:04:18.200 --> 00:04:21.400 And my parents, you know, they were always like police. 77 00:04:21.400 --> 00:04:24.200 And they're always police at our door. 78 00:04:24.200 --> 00:04:27.400 And they're always like rumbles going on in our neighborhood. 79 00:04:27.400 --> 00:04:29.800 And my parents were like, we got to get out of here. 80 00:04:29.800 --> 00:04:35.200 So they decided to take us to like the most isolated like village. 81 00:04:35.200 --> 00:04:37.800 That was close enough to kind of any kind of public transport. 82 00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:41.600 And so even then I was like neighbors, 70 plus. 83 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:45.800 It was it was yeah, it was one of those where it just felt like 84 00:04:45.800 --> 00:04:47.600 a me myself and I situation. 85 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:51.200 I think a lot when it came to faith. 86 00:04:51.200 --> 00:04:54.800 And so yeah, sub 18 it was it's quite hard to talk about what faith is 87 00:04:54.800 --> 00:05:01.800 because it just felt like I was trying desperately not to like mess up as a Christian. 88 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:05.800 Like I got I got a girlfriend at 16 and I was like guest. 89 00:05:05.800 --> 00:05:09.800 This was this was highlight of the highlight of like GCSE period for me. 90 00:05:09.800 --> 00:05:14.800 And I remember she there was a point where she was like we've been going out for 91 00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:16.400 five, six months now. 92 00:05:16.400 --> 00:05:21.600 I want to have sex and I was like, so do I. 93 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:24.400 But God said I shouldn't. 94 00:05:24.400 --> 00:05:29.200 I don't really know why, but I'm like the good Christian first born son. 95 00:05:29.200 --> 00:05:33.000 And so like a rule doesn't necessarily always need a lot of description. 96 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:37.800 And so I desperately tried to not have sex in that moment. 97 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:39.600 And like praise God. 98 00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:45.800 We were good, but I remember that being such a like interesting 99 00:05:45.800 --> 00:05:49.400 formational moment for me of being like, I'm working quite hard 100 00:05:49.400 --> 00:05:53.200 to like not do these things, but I have no idea why. 101 00:05:53.200 --> 00:05:57.200 And I don't really know how I'm going to find out. 102 00:05:57.200 --> 00:06:02.200 And then I went to uni or different ballpark the game again. 103 00:06:02.200 --> 00:06:08.200 It was it was honestly genuinely like jaw dropping for me. 104 00:06:08.200 --> 00:06:15.200 Because I remember I went to uni and entered kind of halls and this and the other. 105 00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:16.000 And I didn't drink. 106 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:17.200 I'd never drank into that point. 107 00:06:17.200 --> 00:06:20.800 And so I wasn't like partying or anything like that. 108 00:06:20.800 --> 00:06:23.200 But I was there. 109 00:06:23.200 --> 00:06:27.000 Basically like, okay, like it's going to be more of the same. 110 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:30.800 It's going to be more of me as this isolated Christian boy who like doesn't drink 111 00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:35.200 and doesn't party and is going to go to the club's Tito like Tito and sober. 112 00:06:35.200 --> 00:06:37.200 And then a friend was like, oh, I'm a Christian. 113 00:06:37.200 --> 00:06:40.200 I was like, no, you're not. 114 00:06:40.200 --> 00:06:41.200 They don't exist. 115 00:06:41.200 --> 00:06:43.200 I don't know those people like. 116 00:06:43.200 --> 00:06:48.800 And she was like, oh, there's CU on on Friday. 117 00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:49.800 I'm like, what's CU? 118 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:50.800 She goes Christian Union. 119 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:53.600 It's like a union for Christians. 120 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:54.600 This is mad. 121 00:06:54.600 --> 00:07:04.800 And I went and it was like breathtaking because it was full of these people my age who were 122 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:06.800 genuinely like on five of Jesus. 123 00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:08.800 Like this was the first time I heard even this phrase. 124 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:13.000 It was like, what does that even mean? 125 00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:21.800 And it was it was a moment of being able to like travel in something in community, which 126 00:07:21.800 --> 00:07:24.000 was incredible. 127 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:30.240 It was this moment of real like expedited growth of being like, oh, okay, like this is 128 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:32.480 why you're convicted about XYZ thing. 129 00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:37.880 This whole rule based way of faith that you've had up to this point is fine, but actually 130 00:07:37.880 --> 00:07:41.000 it's not the real truth of what the gospel says. 131 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:43.000 Yeah. 132 00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:44.000 There's more. 133 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:47.000 There's more to this. 134 00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:48.000 Yeah. 135 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:56.000 And so I then spent the next few years like developing like truly wonderful kind of Christian 136 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:01.480 friendships and relationships that helped me to understand who God was in a relational 137 00:08:01.480 --> 00:08:07.800 sense, which yeah, which kind of blew my mind because like even outside of faith, my 138 00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:10.080 life was rules and regulation. 139 00:08:10.080 --> 00:08:14.120 It was like regime, more than relationship. 140 00:08:14.120 --> 00:08:17.400 And so to have that kind of flipped was everything for me. 141 00:08:17.400 --> 00:08:21.200 Is that because you saw your parents also doing that? 142 00:08:21.200 --> 00:08:22.880 It's a good question. 143 00:08:22.880 --> 00:08:35.600 I think the fact was that my parents had a faith which was so beautiful but so unattainable 144 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:39.840 for me as a child in a lot of ways. 145 00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:48.680 I think there was so much fervorance seen kind of through my parents and through church. 146 00:08:48.680 --> 00:08:52.240 Like I think one of the most beautiful things about growing up in like an African church 147 00:08:52.240 --> 00:09:01.080 is the devotion to prayer and the kind of reliance on God for provision. 148 00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:10.440 But as a child and as a teenager, it felt they're there and I'm here. 149 00:09:10.440 --> 00:09:15.200 Like they pray, but the things that they pray for like is not of context to me. 150 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:19.960 Like you know, there's all this chat about kind of like prosperity gospel praying for 151 00:09:19.960 --> 00:09:24.760 like affluence and this and the other and like I'm 15 so I don't really understand. 152 00:09:24.760 --> 00:09:25.760 God give me money. 153 00:09:25.760 --> 00:09:34.040 You know, thankfully the roof was there so I was not kind of needing to tap into that. 154 00:09:34.040 --> 00:09:38.320 And obviously I would pray for exams and I would pray for friendships and this and 155 00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:39.320 the other. 156 00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:48.520 But I think when it came to relationship that I don't think was a context I really saw. 157 00:09:48.520 --> 00:09:50.040 I didn't see that. 158 00:09:50.040 --> 00:09:55.720 And that flipped a switch when you went to uni and you saw that there's other young people 159 00:09:55.720 --> 00:10:00.280 like Christians as well at the sea and you ended up forming friendships and shaming 160 00:10:00.280 --> 00:10:05.440 and that's what like helped build this now, this faith that you found for yourself. 161 00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:06.440 Yeah, yeah. 162 00:10:06.440 --> 00:10:11.760 I think it was, you know, you know, this was like 2015, 2016. 163 00:10:11.760 --> 00:10:17.840 I know that like the people are bringing out the 2016 photos right now and yeah, that 164 00:10:17.840 --> 00:10:18.840 was me. 165 00:10:18.920 --> 00:10:26.000 All these guys journaling, trying to hear the voice of the Lord talking about relationship 166 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:33.880 with him, talking about grace, talking about like his patience and his adoration, throwing 167 00:10:33.880 --> 00:10:38.680 around words like you are loved, you are the beloved. 168 00:10:38.680 --> 00:10:44.960 That was like, that was not language I heard growing up when it came to faith. 169 00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:53.880 And so yeah, it was this kind of genuine revelation of, oh my gosh, I have a father who 170 00:10:53.880 --> 00:11:01.440 loves me, who is not, who is more concerned with the state of my heart and with the posture 171 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:09.320 I bring to him in my heart than he is about how I like how well I've served his church. 172 00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:13.440 That was like genuinely like kind of like well chattering for me. 173 00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:17.840 And that was a lot of what I then ended up kind of spending the next like 10 years trying 174 00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:26.760 to unpack and trying to like believe to be true because my context was, and I hasten 175 00:11:26.760 --> 00:11:31.480 to add, I don't want it to sound like I'm bashing my upbringing, but the reality was what 176 00:11:31.480 --> 00:11:35.440 I perceived of my upbringing was performance. 177 00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:40.160 It was how well do you perform when you need to perform, how, what are the grades that 178 00:11:40.160 --> 00:11:44.520 you're getting, like how are you serving the household, like how are you honoring your 179 00:11:44.520 --> 00:11:48.560 parents, how are you being a good son, how are you being a good brother. 180 00:11:48.560 --> 00:11:52.760 And the stats were the defining factor of that, you know. 181 00:11:52.760 --> 00:12:01.880 And so to then go into the unique context where they had none of that, if my friends were 182 00:12:01.880 --> 00:12:05.120 not, that was those weren't metrics of success for them. 183 00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:09.360 And so it was then like a bit of a moment of reset. 184 00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:14.920 And what did that reset look like for you, like behind closed doors, like you've gone 185 00:12:14.920 --> 00:12:19.760 into this entirely new environment with all of these new people who are using all this 186 00:12:19.760 --> 00:12:25.960 language you never heard before, and then basically just reshaping your idea of what 187 00:12:25.960 --> 00:12:33.000 Christianity was and could be like, how did that impact your own prayer life with God 188 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:40.040 or how you learnt to see yourself, maybe, like did that transform or change what you perceived 189 00:12:40.040 --> 00:12:45.920 as, like the performance side of faith, I don't know if that makes it. 190 00:12:45.920 --> 00:12:50.200 Yeah, that means to us. 191 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:55.160 I think the reality was that it was the beginning of a relationship. 192 00:12:55.160 --> 00:13:01.480 And so it was the, it was all of the things that you expect when something begins, you 193 00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:05.200 know, I got a journal for the first time. 194 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:10.880 And it was like a moment to actually talk for, you know, that rather than just being like, 195 00:13:10.880 --> 00:13:12.680 here, look, God, what I did. 196 00:13:12.680 --> 00:13:18.200 It was Lord, I'm feeling really anxious today. 197 00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:22.960 It was, I'm not reading my, you know, verse of the day on the Bible, I'll have to tick 198 00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:25.520 the box so that I'm a good Christian so I can crack on. 199 00:13:25.520 --> 00:13:33.800 It was, okay, I'm trying to figure out, Lord, what Ephesians, five means, like, can you 200 00:13:33.800 --> 00:13:35.120 talk to me about it? 201 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:40.760 Can you help me understand so that I can live from that? 202 00:13:40.760 --> 00:13:47.800 Yeah, it was, but it was also full of imposter syndrome because, yeah, because all of my 203 00:13:47.800 --> 00:13:51.640 friends, all of the kind of the ones who are really helping shape me, were also ones who 204 00:13:51.640 --> 00:13:57.400 had gone on gap years with, you know, youth with a mission, they had gone to some random 205 00:13:57.400 --> 00:14:00.360 country to spread the gospel at 18. 206 00:14:00.360 --> 00:14:05.080 And I'm like, and in my mind, I'm like, I can't keep, I can't keep up with that. 207 00:14:05.080 --> 00:14:10.640 You know, they've got, they've got songs to memorize, like, books of the Bible. 208 00:14:10.640 --> 00:14:15.240 And I'm like, in the contents page being like, yes, the viticus, yeah. 209 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:20.720 And so it was, it was definitely as an 18 year old, who in a lot of ways had lived like 210 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:25.120 a Christian, like, my friends used to call me like the good Christian boy because I wasn't 211 00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:30.480 drinking and I wasn't masturbating and I wasn't like having sex with my partner at the time, 212 00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:32.160 et cetera, et cetera. 213 00:14:32.160 --> 00:14:38.160 But like, it was built on a foundation of, I understand that rules are important and 214 00:14:38.160 --> 00:14:39.920 therefore I'm trying to keep them. 215 00:14:39.920 --> 00:14:48.400 And so when it comes to this point of relationship and a church context that really values that 216 00:14:48.400 --> 00:14:51.480 and they're starting to put things on you, like, oh, you know, you get words at church 217 00:14:51.480 --> 00:14:52.480 or something like that. 218 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:54.880 I really see God's spirit on you. 219 00:14:54.880 --> 00:15:00.680 I think that, like, I see you on fire for the Lord and I'm like, I don't know what that 220 00:15:00.680 --> 00:15:01.680 means. 221 00:15:01.680 --> 00:15:05.160 I truly don't, but I really want to. 222 00:15:05.160 --> 00:15:06.160 Yeah. 223 00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:13.280 I'm like interested to hear about how much of, because you're touching a lot on different 224 00:15:13.280 --> 00:15:14.280 things here. 225 00:15:14.280 --> 00:15:18.880 And I think, for me, what I'm picking up is, well, what I can relate to in my own story 226 00:15:18.880 --> 00:15:25.280 is growing up in an immigrant family or being first gen. 227 00:15:25.280 --> 00:15:31.760 You kind of feel like you have this pressure to be somebody and fill shoes or fill these 228 00:15:31.760 --> 00:15:36.600 dreams that your parents have because they're, they've sacrificed so much of their life, 229 00:15:36.600 --> 00:15:42.320 their lives to give you the opportunity to do what they didn't have, like the opportunity 230 00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:43.320 to do. 231 00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:48.120 And, you know, you're talking a lot about identity and like how these kids of like, these 232 00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:54.520 people that you were surrounded by clearly didn't attach to identity in, you know, being 233 00:15:54.520 --> 00:15:59.920 this performative Christian or what they were studying at the time, but they actually 234 00:15:59.920 --> 00:16:05.960 placed it in this God that you have now that, at that age, I'd started to discover 235 00:16:05.960 --> 00:16:09.960 as a father that loved you first before doing anything. 236 00:16:09.960 --> 00:16:14.240 And I just wanted to ask, like, on a deeper level, like, dude, what was that journey like 237 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:20.160 of, you know, learning that your identity wasn't placed on how much you did for God, but 238 00:16:20.160 --> 00:16:23.200 just being a son first? 239 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:24.200 Yeah. 240 00:16:24.200 --> 00:16:29.320 Like, that is genuinely like the journey of my life so far. 241 00:16:29.320 --> 00:16:33.280 That is the thing that I'm trying the hardest to learn. 242 00:16:33.280 --> 00:16:36.760 I mean, to kind of go back, you're right that, you know, I'm first gen British. 243 00:16:36.760 --> 00:16:42.520 My parents are, they immigrated here from Ghana and, you know, one of the things that they 244 00:16:42.520 --> 00:16:46.960 always said, which I love in a lot of ways, but also, you know, helped shape to some of 245 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:51.480 these thought processes was like, you live in England, but you are raised in a Ghanaian 246 00:16:51.480 --> 00:16:52.480 household. 247 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:53.480 Yeah. 248 00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:55.000 That's so, that's so tough by the way. 249 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:56.000 Yeah. 250 00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:01.360 I remember there are some, some wonderful things that I'll keep and embed into my family 251 00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:02.840 for the rest of my life. 252 00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:07.920 But one of those things that usually comes from those kinds of environments is this need 253 00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:17.360 and a desire for, like, performance and service to be mandatory, right? 254 00:17:17.360 --> 00:17:21.800 You know, they kind of, they talk about it as like the honor, shame culture that when 255 00:17:21.800 --> 00:17:25.880 you are honoring the family, whether it's through your academics, whether it's through 256 00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:31.960 the way that you serve the household and all of that, you are, you are honoring the household. 257 00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:35.240 And when you don't do those things, you bring shame on the household. 258 00:17:35.240 --> 00:17:41.840 And so, you know, I'm the first son, which again was so important in my household. 259 00:17:41.840 --> 00:17:45.440 And my dad was the first son and my granddad was the first son. 260 00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:51.320 And so, the pressure and the responsibility, like, was generational. 261 00:17:51.320 --> 00:17:57.320 And so, the thought process was like, how are you impacting your sister? 262 00:17:57.320 --> 00:18:03.720 How are you, how are you, like, showing what our household is like? 263 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:06.960 And so, performance was everything. 264 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:11.320 You know, getting, you know, doing the 11 plus, getting into grammar school was the 265 00:18:11.320 --> 00:18:17.800 first thing I was like 11 years old, up at 6am, studying to do 11 plus and get into 266 00:18:17.800 --> 00:18:18.800 grammar school. 267 00:18:18.800 --> 00:18:19.800 That was the first thing. 268 00:18:19.800 --> 00:18:23.720 And I remember so heavily, my dad always talks about how proud he was of my work ethic 269 00:18:23.720 --> 00:18:26.480 at 1011 to get into grammar school. 270 00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:30.120 You get into grammar school and they're kind of the, the seeds of what you're going to 271 00:18:30.120 --> 00:18:31.760 be when you grow up, start. 272 00:18:31.760 --> 00:18:34.880 And my dad's a doctor, my mom is a psychiatric nurse. 273 00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:41.280 And so, as soon as I start biology, they were like, yo, you're like, biology. 274 00:18:41.280 --> 00:18:42.280 You're a doctor. 275 00:18:42.280 --> 00:18:43.280 Boom. 276 00:18:43.280 --> 00:18:44.280 Done. 277 00:18:44.280 --> 00:18:45.280 Wow. 278 00:18:45.280 --> 00:18:46.280 I remember, what was it? 279 00:18:46.280 --> 00:18:47.280 Book day. 280 00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:48.280 World book day. 281 00:18:48.280 --> 00:18:49.280 Yeah. 282 00:18:49.280 --> 00:18:50.280 Dressed up as a doctor. 283 00:18:50.280 --> 00:18:54.280 And so, it was all of these things where those are the seeds that start to be planted and 284 00:18:54.280 --> 00:19:00.640 you start getting to GCSEs and you can kind of, you can be whatever you want until it 285 00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:06.200 impacts your, until it impacts studies and then it, and then you can't be that. 286 00:19:06.200 --> 00:19:11.840 When you're seven, I love music and I started, and I begged my parents to get drum lessons 287 00:19:11.840 --> 00:19:13.800 and they said, yep, no problem. 288 00:19:13.800 --> 00:19:19.280 And then I got drum lessons, was about to do grade one, I was so happy. 289 00:19:19.280 --> 00:19:23.720 And then I think at a parent's evening, for instance, one of my teachers said, you 290 00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:28.720 know, Dan's doing great, yada, yada, yada, but, you know, I noted that he like missed 291 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:34.160 15 minutes of like the end of a lesson to go to his drum lesson. 292 00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:40.560 And you know, it's something that we want to like pick up on and I'm there like, oh, 293 00:19:40.560 --> 00:19:45.320 teacher, why are you outing me like, but that was the end of drum lessons. 294 00:19:45.320 --> 00:19:50.320 That was it done because it impacted on, on my academics. 295 00:19:50.320 --> 00:19:53.840 I was a competitive swimmer and loved swimming. 296 00:19:53.840 --> 00:20:00.000 But then when I was like 15 or 16 and my parents perceived that the swimming was getting 297 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.600 in the way of revising, gone. 298 00:20:03.600 --> 00:20:12.600 And so it was these moments of like really tangible reminders that like, you can be who you 299 00:20:12.600 --> 00:20:20.040 want to be until performing matters and then the performance matters. 300 00:20:20.040 --> 00:20:25.720 And so that was the way I was seeking affirmation and validation. 301 00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:29.160 So GCSEs roll around and I'm trying to do as best as I can. 302 00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:33.760 Get good grades, parents are happy, summer I can do some swimming, but then when A levels 303 00:20:33.760 --> 00:20:41.880 come around, back in the ground, you know, year 12 and 13 come around, I get the position 304 00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:47.440 of head boy of the school, parents are guest, it's amazing, good on UCAS. 305 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:50.240 Do A levels get good grades? 306 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:56.120 Another like another quiver, another, another arrow for the quiver. 307 00:20:56.120 --> 00:20:59.320 I get into medical school. 308 00:20:59.320 --> 00:21:07.760 Like it was one of the first time I saw my dad like cry from joy was that day. 309 00:21:07.760 --> 00:21:14.880 And it was incredible like what a joy and honor to make my parents proud, but what it was 310 00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:21.880 doing in the background was reinforcing the idea that I'm only loved because I'm performing 311 00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:25.920 and I'm only loved because of what I do. 312 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:32.960 So then when I went to uni and I saw this alternative thought process, it was incredible 313 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:38.280 and I loved it until I failed my first year of medical school. 314 00:21:38.280 --> 00:21:46.640 And then it's a problem, it's a very big problem because I wasn't partying, I wasn't drinking, 315 00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:52.040 I wasn't doing drugs, I was genuinely just trying to find out who I was. 316 00:21:52.040 --> 00:22:00.920 I was genuinely trying to like relive a childhood to play and that cost me my first year of 317 00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.880 medical school. 318 00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:08.920 And I couldn't understand why, I couldn't understand why I had failed because I'd never failed 319 00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:09.920 before. 320 00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:15.960 I'd never failed anything in my life, apart from a driving test, but we didn't talk 321 00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:16.960 well. 322 00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:20.960 But I'd never failed anything. 323 00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:25.840 And so it's like, yeah, this is a big problem. 324 00:22:25.840 --> 00:22:31.000 And from that point onwards, that was like a really big turning point in both like the 325 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:37.200 positive and the negative because genuinely it was the start of a big positive and a negative 326 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:46.640 because in that moment I had to reckon with the idea that my kind of perfect track record 327 00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:52.320 was tainted and that the kind of sense of value that I'd built up for myself over the 328 00:22:52.320 --> 00:22:58.640 last 10 years was really tarnished and I had to drop down a year, I was with a new cohort 329 00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:00.800 with all of this stuff. 330 00:23:00.800 --> 00:23:03.480 And that's a hit to the ego, man. 331 00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:09.720 It's, oh, it's a hit, you know, like when you go from a year prior, you're dead crying 332 00:23:09.720 --> 00:23:17.760 with joy to a year later, you're dead crying with like anguish at the fact that what's 333 00:23:17.760 --> 00:23:23.560 gone on here, your mind is finished. 334 00:23:23.560 --> 00:23:26.960 And you know, I suppose on the background like that was the, like that was the, that was 335 00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:31.560 the start of my kind of journey of anxiety and what that looked like. 336 00:23:31.560 --> 00:23:37.680 But it was also the start of a journey of redefining identity. 337 00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:44.320 It took like me essentially losing the identity in a lot of ways to start to understand that 338 00:23:44.320 --> 00:23:48.720 it was, it was unstable ground. 339 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:54.840 Try as I might, I know I was good, I was good at finding value, but there came a point 340 00:23:54.840 --> 00:24:02.520 where the kind of the quiet misery of understanding that my value was conditional couldn't match 341 00:24:02.520 --> 00:24:08.720 up with the need to feel loved. 342 00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:15.000 So yeah, I think to kind of like bring you up a bit on that, that's kind of where, where 343 00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.920 the journey got to, I think in the middle of, in the middle of university. 344 00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:26.840 At what point of university did you realize that you didn't want to carry on doing medical 345 00:24:26.840 --> 00:24:32.080 school or did you finish medical school and then become a doctor and then decide actually 346 00:24:32.080 --> 00:24:34.080 this isn't what I want to do. 347 00:24:34.080 --> 00:24:36.840 And what was that like for you? 348 00:24:36.840 --> 00:24:42.880 Because obviously you just mentioned that it was the beginning of redefining like your identity 349 00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:48.840 and getting rid of, not getting rid of or more learning from everything, no, sorry, 350 00:24:48.840 --> 00:24:52.720 like relearning everything that you've learnt growing up. 351 00:24:52.720 --> 00:25:00.120 What was that process like of I'm actually living for myself as well as my parents. 352 00:25:00.120 --> 00:25:05.480 I'm going to live for myself as myself, not as the good son or the good brother or the 353 00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:06.920 good friend. 354 00:25:06.920 --> 00:25:14.520 But as myself as somebody who loves myself, like, yeah, what was that journey like? 355 00:25:14.520 --> 00:25:15.520 Yeah. 356 00:25:15.520 --> 00:25:25.600 Gosh, the reality is I'm still like genuinely wrestling with that in a big way. 357 00:25:25.600 --> 00:25:31.040 Like the context of university was, my degree is five years. 358 00:25:31.040 --> 00:25:33.280 I failed my first year of medical school. 359 00:25:33.280 --> 00:25:38.280 So did first year, did first year again, got second year, no problems. 360 00:25:38.280 --> 00:25:41.040 Well, major problems, but I got there. 361 00:25:41.040 --> 00:25:49.240 And then at that point, I think my mindset was still, okay, everyone has a blip back 362 00:25:49.240 --> 00:25:50.680 on the horse. 363 00:25:50.680 --> 00:25:54.360 We're going to continue to basically try and do the same thing. 364 00:25:54.360 --> 00:26:02.080 Try and just live as someone who just is going to just get conditional love really well. 365 00:26:02.080 --> 00:26:11.560 But the problem is once that, once Pandora's box opened, it could not be shut. 366 00:26:11.560 --> 00:26:18.440 And this overwhelming anxiety had like crept in at that point. 367 00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:29.200 So I was just so anxious about what it meant to like fail once more because it just meant 368 00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:31.000 lovelessness. 369 00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:36.520 And so every year around, around exam time, I'm not in a good way. 370 00:26:36.520 --> 00:26:42.920 Just trying to get through doing as much as I can to get through to the next stage while 371 00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:51.440 also like the other side of me being deeply avoidant because medicine just represented 372 00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:56.640 like conditional love to me in a lot of ways. 373 00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:00.400 So it kind of, to be honest with you, continued the same for a long time. 374 00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:08.040 So I got to fourth year, COVID happened, long story, but then got to final year, failed 375 00:27:08.040 --> 00:27:12.600 again, had to retake another year of medical school. 376 00:27:12.600 --> 00:27:17.400 And that was the crucible moment. 377 00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:25.920 That was the breaking point moment because I was, I just could not believe I'd done it again. 378 00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:32.360 I could not believe that I was in a position that I was, that I was in four years ago, 379 00:27:32.360 --> 00:27:34.520 where my identity was just cracked. 380 00:27:34.520 --> 00:27:38.920 My ability to feel loved was completely shattered. 381 00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:46.120 And my sense of value was just like all over the place. 382 00:27:46.120 --> 00:27:49.760 And so I think it was at that point where like my hand was forced. 383 00:27:49.760 --> 00:27:55.840 And I felt in that moment, God, just like arresting my heart for 384 00:27:55.840 --> 00:28:03.840 the process of trying to reestablish value in something else. 385 00:28:03.840 --> 00:28:09.040 And I remember, I remember so clearly, I managed to get through final year. 386 00:28:09.040 --> 00:28:13.440 And it was like the day before my final exams. 387 00:28:13.440 --> 00:28:18.760 And the way like that my anxiety predominantly came up was in like heart 388 00:28:18.760 --> 00:28:25.000 palpitations of like just feeling so like deeply physically uncomfortable. 389 00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:33.320 And I remember like calling my dad in bed the night before my finals. 390 00:28:33.320 --> 00:28:40.680 And just crying because I could not sleep because all I could feel was my heart beating. 391 00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:45.280 All I could think about was the fact that I was just going to fail again. 392 00:28:45.280 --> 00:28:49.680 And that my kind of my psyche couldn't handle it. 393 00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:57.440 I couldn't fathom the idea of failing again because I so desperately wanted to leave medicine 394 00:28:57.440 --> 00:29:02.800 because I so desperately wanted to find an identity for myself outside of this place. 395 00:29:02.800 --> 00:29:12.080 And I remember just crying with him on the phone, being like, Dad, I am so genuinely scared 396 00:29:12.080 --> 00:29:16.000 that I'm going to die before I finish these exams. 397 00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:24.480 Because I fear that my heart is going to explode from the level of anxiety that I feel. 398 00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:33.640 And him being so worried for me because he wasn't there. 399 00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:41.440 And he didn't know how to alleviate the burden that I felt of passing these exams. 400 00:29:42.320 --> 00:29:48.160 Yeah, and it was just, it was, it was this moment I just like, I won't forget 401 00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:52.880 because I was just so tired of being a medical, I was like, this was year seven at this point. 402 00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:57.840 And this was like year seven of being like, I don't know who I am outside of these like medical 403 00:29:57.840 --> 00:30:07.760 school walls. But by the grace of God, I passed and was able to become a doctor and qualify. 404 00:30:07.760 --> 00:30:14.080 And that was amazing. And that then like started this whole new journey of, 405 00:30:15.520 --> 00:30:24.000 I've got the certificate now. For all intents and purposes, this was the culmination of 406 00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:27.760 everything my parents dreamed of for me. This was it basically. 407 00:30:27.760 --> 00:30:28.960 Yeah, the pinnacle moment. 408 00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:33.760 Right. This was essentially the moment where they were like, okay, you can do what you want now. 409 00:30:33.760 --> 00:30:39.920 But I'm like, I don't know how, I don't know how to live for myself. 410 00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:47.600 I don't know how to even think about what it means to like enjoy something because I've just spent 411 00:30:47.600 --> 00:30:55.200 the last, you know, 11 to 25, like I just spent the last like 14 years of my life chasing a dream 412 00:30:55.200 --> 00:31:02.880 that I was never even really that sure I wanted for myself. And so yeah, I started, I started working 413 00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:11.040 as a doctor. Obviously the anxiety was still there. I had to go less than full time at points 414 00:31:11.040 --> 00:31:16.560 because I just couldn't like handle that space in a lot of ways. I think it was the first time 415 00:31:17.120 --> 00:31:24.720 once I'd finished med school and was working that I felt the Lord giving me permission to dream, 416 00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:32.880 giving me permission to think for myself, to think, oh, like what do you enjoy? Because I enjoy 417 00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:38.960 the things you enjoy. What do you feel cool to? Because I put the calling on you. What do you 418 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:50.400 love? Because I love what you love. Yeah. And so it was the kind of gradual unpacking of 419 00:31:51.360 --> 00:32:00.480 an identity so steeped in a vocation that I basically wanted to give up for something else. 420 00:32:01.280 --> 00:32:08.480 That is so powerful as well that once you got to that point, you'd achieved everything that your 421 00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:16.800 parents had, sorry, you'd achieved everything that your parents had dreamed and imagined for your 422 00:32:16.800 --> 00:32:26.480 life. You're there and you didn't feel that fulfillment. So I just think it's so kind of 423 00:32:26.480 --> 00:32:33.360 God to speak over you and and into you in that moment that his love doesn't come from 424 00:32:35.040 --> 00:32:40.960 what you've done from your achievements. That must have been a bit like, I don't know, that sounds 425 00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:50.000 whiplash kind of vibes. Like to me, how was that then for you to go on that journey of rediscovery? 426 00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:56.000 In the midst of still working as a doctor and trying to do this thing that your parents have 427 00:32:56.000 --> 00:33:00.320 dreamt for you, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Like I'm sure it was out of their love for 428 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:06.880 you wanting to you to excel and succeed. But obviously unfortunately has 429 00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:18.560 revealed itself in a way that induced anxiety and a misunderstanding of self, I guess. 430 00:33:19.360 --> 00:33:28.720 Yeah, like how did you then move from that point to actually I am going to 431 00:33:29.600 --> 00:33:34.960 find out what I enjoy. I am going to find out what makes Daniel happy. I am going to find out 432 00:33:34.960 --> 00:33:39.920 what inspires me and not only am I going to find that out, but I'm actually going to detach 433 00:33:39.920 --> 00:33:46.560 myself from the vocation that has fed into my identity for 14 years and find something that 434 00:33:48.720 --> 00:33:59.680 feels fulfilling. What was that step? What was that bridge? The answer is that it was really slow 435 00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:07.840 and gentle, but really like specific. I think through some wonderful books that I was 436 00:34:07.840 --> 00:34:19.200 recommended through a gift of a therapist and wonderful friends and a very encouraging wife, 437 00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:36.240 I think the journey was basically to redefine what God thinks of me, to just really gently 438 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:46.880 allow the Lord to show me a different narrative. I read a wonderful book by an author called Henry 439 00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:53.840 Nowan and the book is called Life of the Beloved and essentially it feels like that summarises 440 00:34:55.200 --> 00:35:00.720 almost a journey of maybe the last like three or four years really well in the sense that 441 00:35:01.200 --> 00:35:09.040 the book characterised the way that we view faith and the way that we view life in kind of 442 00:35:09.040 --> 00:35:17.760 forroth kind of points. The first being that like God has chosen me, that I am not an accident, 443 00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:28.480 I am not a random kind of freak of nature, but I was like chosen by the king to be a son. 444 00:35:29.120 --> 00:35:34.880 And that makes me deeply special before I've done anything. 445 00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:44.960 That not only am I chosen that I'm blessed, like God hasn't just chosen me, but he loves and cares for me. 446 00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:52.960 That he says this is my beloved son in whom I'm well pleased, on whom my favour rests, 447 00:35:53.920 --> 00:36:00.240 that he delights in me and that he delights in the things I delight in. That was probably one of 448 00:36:00.240 --> 00:36:07.120 the biggest things for me that like almost the idea of going back to a five-year-old version of 449 00:36:07.120 --> 00:36:15.840 myself that is allowed to play without reprimand, that is allowed to explore, that is allowed to find 450 00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:22.720 his own boundaries, that is allowed to be a child with a father who cares deeply. 451 00:36:26.800 --> 00:36:34.160 I think it also redefined how I've view brokenness, because I think before brokenness was 452 00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:42.160 something to hide. I was so over-sensitive and I still am, and I remember thinking man, 453 00:36:42.160 --> 00:36:47.440 I just need to be harder, I just need to be more tough, I just need to be someone who can just 454 00:36:47.440 --> 00:36:55.200 take the bullets and not weep in my room because of them. And I think that book so gently reminded me 455 00:36:55.200 --> 00:37:03.920 of how God sees brokenness not as a thing to hide, but as a thing to befriend, because it points 456 00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:15.600 me to his glory. That was massive to me, because it meant that I could look at my brokenness with 457 00:37:15.600 --> 00:37:23.680 as much fondness as my strengths, because both of them were to the glory of God. And so it meant that 458 00:37:23.680 --> 00:37:28.640 I could start to like love myself as a whole and not just the achievement part, not just the 459 00:37:28.640 --> 00:37:33.200 over-achieve part, not just the good friend part, not just the good son, brother, uncle, not uncle, 460 00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:38.800 not just the good son, brother, cousin, whatever, but I could love the whole of me. 461 00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:48.800 And that last part of that kind of that book highlighted that it is only when those things are 462 00:37:48.800 --> 00:37:58.480 understood that I am then given to others and I can be of service and I can love others well, 463 00:37:59.280 --> 00:38:07.760 because I'd inverted that. It was like when I am loving, then I am chosen, when I'm loving, 464 00:38:07.760 --> 00:38:14.080 then I'm blessed, when I'm loving, it hides my brokenness. And it was just a pathway that was just 465 00:38:14.080 --> 00:38:22.800 leading to destruction every time. And so to flip that, you know, like it seems like every letter 466 00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:29.920 Paul has ever written in the Bible starts with recounting the gospel, starts with talking about 467 00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:36.480 all that Jesus has done, all that Christ has done for us and therefore, you know, act in a 468 00:38:36.480 --> 00:38:42.800 manner worthy of the calling to which you have received. And so it felt like it was a moment 469 00:38:42.800 --> 00:38:50.960 of God wanting me to receive his gospel and to enter into belovedness, enter into chosenness 470 00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:59.040 and blessedness and love the brokenness, to then be given well, to then be on fire, to then be 471 00:38:59.040 --> 00:39:02.880 the arrow, to then be whatever that means. To then be whatever that means. 472 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:12.480 Yeah, and then I suppose that's the journey that has come now into the whole like social media, 473 00:39:12.560 --> 00:39:23.680 danytrisethings, ether. Truly, I remember, you know, people ask me all the time, like what is danytrisethings? 474 00:39:23.680 --> 00:39:29.680 And as like an entrepreneurial guy as someone who wants to like explain my social media platform 475 00:39:29.680 --> 00:39:34.560 well so that people follow, so that people like and comment on whatever, I'm always trying to 476 00:39:34.560 --> 00:39:38.160 like come up with the like the peak, I'm always trying to come up with the phrase, right? 477 00:39:38.160 --> 00:39:42.480 Means actually BT, you're every day, I'm trying to redefine what danytrisethings is. 478 00:39:45.520 --> 00:39:52.240 But in reality, in reality, at a core, this social media platform, this whole world that I'm in 479 00:39:52.240 --> 00:40:03.200 now is God's gift to me of being able to play with him without a need, without a reason. 480 00:40:03.200 --> 00:40:15.120 It's basically an outlet for me to learn what I like, to be someone who can just be fun 481 00:40:15.120 --> 00:40:22.960 for the sake of fun. And if someone else feels encouraged of that, then that's incredible. 482 00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:31.520 But thankfully, it's just the gift to me. And so I'm now in the like season of just playing 483 00:40:31.520 --> 00:40:38.480 being. And I have the joy of being able to like walk alongside of the people in the space. 484 00:40:38.480 --> 00:40:43.600 In that, I have the joy of being able to help other people like strategize and think about how 485 00:40:43.600 --> 00:40:48.800 they are on social media and all that kind of stuff. And that's the being given part. 486 00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:54.240 Like I'm given to be someone who helps other people like shine. And that's incredible. 487 00:40:54.880 --> 00:41:02.240 But at a core, I am just like playing around and just trying to have fun basically. And 488 00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:07.600 like being able to learn what it means to be a son as a result of that. 489 00:41:07.600 --> 00:41:15.520 Well, Danny, I feel so blessed by this, like the whole conversation around identity and then 490 00:41:15.600 --> 00:41:23.440 rediscovering that and what like what that actually is in the Lord for you is just so beautiful to 491 00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:29.440 hear. And like that, I feel deeply impacted by and I'm sure those listening to RT. And I was 492 00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:33.920 just wondering as we wrap this up, would you be able to pray for those who are kind of on that 493 00:41:33.920 --> 00:41:41.680 journey of that, I guess, rediscovering what their identity is in as a child of God. 494 00:41:42.160 --> 00:41:44.160 I'd love to. I'd love to. 495 00:41:52.880 --> 00:41:58.560 Father, thank you that before anything, we are chosen by you. 496 00:42:00.560 --> 00:42:04.240 Thank you that before anything, you love us deeply. 497 00:42:04.560 --> 00:42:14.080 Thank you that you care about a posture of a heart and about the way that we feel 498 00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:24.640 before you care about the things we do for your kingdom. Thank you that not only do you choose us, 499 00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:34.960 you bless us that you say your favour rests on us, Lord. You say that you delight in us, Lord. 500 00:42:38.080 --> 00:42:42.720 Thank you that even that blessing comes before we do anything for your kingdom. 501 00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:53.920 Lord, thank you that our humanity is not something to hide or to shirk, 502 00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:01.120 but to you it is as valuable as our greatest gifts because it is all for your glory. 503 00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:07.200 Thank you that your word says in our weakness you are made strong and that that isn't just 504 00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:10.000 lip service, but that is gospel truth. 505 00:43:13.680 --> 00:43:21.520 Thank you that you came as Christ and died on the cross for relationship, not for service or 506 00:43:21.520 --> 00:43:30.720 servanthood. And thank you, Lord, that is only by that grace and that truth that you ask us to 507 00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:38.960 serve your kingdom. Thank you that you ask us for service out of love and overflow and not out of 508 00:43:38.960 --> 00:43:46.960 duty and obligation. And so, Father, as we go about our day as we learn and live and love, 509 00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:53.680 would you help us to live a life that stems from belovedness and not performance? 510 00:43:53.840 --> 00:44:00.960 That stems from joy and peace and not guilt and shame. 511 00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:08.400 And Lord, would you help us to come to you like children when we stumble and when we fail on 512 00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:16.720 that journey of believing that? And would you help us do that all for your glory? 513 00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:28.320 Thank you so much for praying for us. Guys, thank you so much for tuning in. Make 514 00:44:28.320 --> 00:44:34.560 sure to go check out Danny Tri's Things on social media, but we love you so much Danny. 515 00:44:34.560 --> 00:44:41.440 We'll see you guys in the next podcast. Bye! Bye!