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Hey guys, welcome back to the Way UK podcast. I'm your host Zoe and I'm joined by my co-host Michelle.

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Michelle and today is a very exciting episode because we are joined by a very special guest and a special friend Martha Stringer.

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Hello! Welcome to the Way UK. Thank you so much. I didn't know we were going to sing your name but it happened anyway.

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But Martha, thank you so much for being on. We're really excited to get into your story.

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So guys, stay tuned. We're going to dive into what got us done in Martha's life.

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Hey, interrupting your podcast session here. We just wanted to say thank you so much for listening.

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If you are listening in on our YouTube, make sure to subscribe. But if you're listening in on our Spotify

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and Apple podcast, then make sure to follow us and give us a little rating because we want these

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podcasts to reach as many people because our vision here at the way is to share the good news of Jesus

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with every young person online and who, without further ado, get back into the podcast.

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So Martha, hello. Hello. Welcome. Thank you. I am so excited to hear about your faith journey and how

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God met you, what that looked like, and well, what he's done in and through your life. But I'd love to

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start at the beginning, which is, where did you meet Jesus? And what did that look like for you?

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Great. So grew up in a Christian home, have like really like vivid memories of being in church

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with my dad leading worship and my mum like running kids or youth and like church was a massive

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part of our life growing up and so was faith. And then when I was about eight years old, my dad got

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diagnosed with clinical depression. I might have been slightly older than eight, but around then.

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And that just kind of changed the outlook for our family about what how we could function as a

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family's church became less front and center. And also I'd like to start playing football and I

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love playing football. And so suddenly I had the choice to go play football on a Sunday or go to

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church. And I thought church was the more boring option of those two things. So I mostly chose football

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and kind of in my like childhood years, my teenagers just grew further and further from God.

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And I think I like, I didn't necessarily think he wasn't real, I just wasn't interested in him.

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Right. And then when I was 15, nearly 16 years old, I would say my friend tricked me into going

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to church with her. She would say I went willingly. But we went to a youth church and I'd had this

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kind of a bit of a strange relationship with my dad ever since he was diagnosed. And I remember

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being in this church service and being slightly freaked out because there's all teenagers and there

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were like teenagers singing in tongues and teenagers like hands up in worship. And I was like, this is a

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bit, this is a bit much. This is a bit weird. But the preach started and the guy preaching

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preached on the prodigal son. And he said, the line I'll never forget was, and God is farther

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to the fatherless. And in my head, I thought I have a dad at home. He's just not very good at being a

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dad. And in that moment, the guy said, and you can have a dad at home and still feel like you're

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fatherless. And I was like, oh my gosh. And so I turned to my friend and I was like, is God real?

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And she was like, oh, I think God's real. Yeah. And I was like, okay, well, if God's real, I think

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I need to give my life to him. And she was like, right, I don't know how to do that. And I was like,

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okay, so she took me to the back to her youth worker who then became my youth worker. And I

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gave my life to Jesus and got filled with the Holy Spirit for the first time when I was 15, nearly

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16 years old. And that kind of completely changed my life. It's interesting in the years,

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like the few years since then, I would meet people who'd known me pre-Jesus and they'd be like, oh,

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it was a smarter person. So it's so, it's so interesting. But gave my life to Jesus. And like,

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really, I've always been somebody like whether it was football, whether it was like friendships,

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whether it was playing a board game on the table, I'd always like threw myself in wholeheartedly.

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I want to be the best at being that like a footballer, be the best at playing a board game,

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be the best at anything. And I did the same thing with Christianity, really. I like threw myself

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in wholeheartedly. It meant that at the end of sixth form, rather than going to university,

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because I wanted to be a history professor, because that's what all the cool people wanted to do.

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Rather than doing that straight away, I was like, I'm going to go be a missionary. So I went to

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be a missionary for two years. And I just basically went like whole hog for this Christianity thing.

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Kind of got my priorities a bit wrong, but like it was out of it like a deep wanting to like show

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God that I loved him and that I was like doing it for him. So that's kind of where my faith journey

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began. That's awesome. And when you speak about like wanting to do everything the best you can,

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I think that's an amazing trait, but also can very quickly become something that maybe a lot

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of striving goes into or could just be damaging to yourself. How did that manifest itself into

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something that maybe wasn't as helpful or as pure as it was when you began your journey?

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That's a great question. I mean, it started like Christianity became like a competitive thing for me.

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So I went to be a missionary actually like worked in an engine room on a ship for two years,

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which was mental and I am not a good engineer. I wasn't at the time. It was, you know,

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where people were like, how do you know God's real? It's because I welded stuff on a ship that's

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still floating in this world. So I know God is real. But I, so I was like on the ship,

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400 different Christians from six different nationalities. And I was like, I need to be the best

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Christian in this ship. And I just couldn't help people who got up about 5 a.m. to read their

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Bible and then go for a run. And I've never been that person. So I would try and compete with

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these people in their faith. I would try to read my Bible more. I would try to, I once read the

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whole Bible in 90 days. And like not necessarily out of a, I want to get to know God's word really

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well out of a, I want to be able to tell people I read my Bible in 90 days. And it just led this

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competitiveness of being every worship, like being every prayer night, reading my Bible,

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like being the most passionate worshipper in a church community that is also the people you live

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with, there is also the people you work with. It just became all consuming. And I think I was

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trying to even compete with God at points of like I can, I can do this on my own, I can be this

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strong, I can be the best Christian ever kind of in my own strength and not relying on God at all

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for it. And so I meant that at 19, after being a Christian for three years nearly, I just completely

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burnt out. And I think it's really, I'm really interesting like oftentimes in Christian circles,

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we use the word burnout. And we have an image of like being a bit tired, needing to go on a holiday,

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I woke up one morning and I couldn't physically not move. I couldn't get out of bed. So I

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had to come to my cabin and be like, Martha, are you okay? I was completely wiped out and

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there were like months where I would just never ever got back to full strength. I was, I couldn't

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lift my hands to wash my hair, I was so tired and my body was so exhausted. And kind of in the wake

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of that, that time through God's grace really and the kindness of the Lord, he bought me from,

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you know, trying to do this all of my own strength and it didn't happen overnight.

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You genuinely took about 10 years. Oh God, just slowly rewiring how I viewed my walk with him,

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my, my, you know, I went, I stayed in Christian ministry, I've been in Christian ministry my whole

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life basically. I became a youth worker straight after leaving the ship. And basically had to

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work out how to do youth ministry where I would still try and be the best youth worker. And

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sometimes that was for good motives, but actually a lot of the time it wasn't. And so it was like

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this, the grace of God kind of very slowly, very shortly going, it's not about succeeding,

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it's not about winning, it's about like you doing this with me. And it's just like a very slow,

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very, like, you know, one step forward, two step back kind of journey, but really changed how I,

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did life and did ministry and did faith with God. Well, that is crazy. That burnt out, like,

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being burnt out can like affect you so physically. And I think oftentimes we live in a world that's

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like just push through and keep going and keep going and keep producing and keep doing and keep

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being the best. But like, it's just impossible. Like we are humans at the end of the day. And I think

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that's so kind of beautiful of God to reassure you that you don't have to just keep doing and doing

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and doing, we just need to be Martha and be his daughter. And that's actually enough.

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As somebody that has dealt with the effects of burnt, being burnt out, how now would you say

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is the best way to combat that and how to prevent it and how to walk that out in a healthy way,

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like, because it's not bad to want to be excellent for God. But yeah, how would you suggest

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combating that and not letting it kind of bleed into being physically detrimental and emotionally

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detrimental to yourself? Yeah, I think there's so many, there's so many different answers to that question.

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I think the way God reframed it for me was through the story in the gospels of the women,

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woman with the issue of blood and that how Jesus responds in that moment. And that he,

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you know, I'm always struck by the fact that Jesus walked everywhere or got or went on a donkey

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or went on a boat. He went slow and he didn't, it's not just because he was in, you know, he was

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around a long time ago where there weren't cars and, you know, all that stuff. But he didn't even go

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the fastest he could have gone. He didn't go in the fastest motor transport for his day. He always

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went slow. So he, like, comes across the sea, gets off this boat and there's this massive crowd.

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And again, he doesn't make anyone clear the way. He doesn't push people out the way. He doesn't,

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you know, rush off to wherever he has to go and gyress comes up to him and says, you know,

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my daughter's dying. Can you, I know you can do something. Can you please come? And he slowly

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makes his way. And he's going so slowly that a woman in debilitating pain can grab the hem of

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his garment and be healed. And so often in the Christian life and in ministry, we make it about

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doing more about being like, we wear our busyness as a badge of honor. And I know I definitely did

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and still sometimes will, but in my life recovering from burnout and constantly over 10 years having

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to catch myself going for success over the presence of God and going for success over doing what

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he wants me to do, I would constantly have to remind myself that I need to be going slow enough

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for somebody to catch the hem of my garment so that they might meet Jesus. And like, I was in

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youth ministry for 10 years and I have this horrific memory of a young person. And I was like,

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you know, doing my youth ministry week, did youth want to win tonight was really busy cleaning up.

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And I remember this young person lingering, but I was really busy. I was talking to parents. I was

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doing all these good things, but I didn't manage to talk to her. And then on the Friday, which is my day

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off, I was finally going a bit slower in life because it was my day off. And I was on the high

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street and I was coming out of a coffee shop and I saw her crying. And so I was like, oh my gosh,

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what's wrong? Let's chat. And she sat down and she was having the worst time. She's like, you know,

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having suicidal thoughts, having a really awful time. And I said, oh, you know, why didn't you

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talk to me about it? That's what I'm here for. And she said, I tried to Arthur, you were too busy.

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And in that moment, I was instantly reminded of the woman with the issue of blood and the hem of

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Jesus garment. And actually, am I going too busy so that people can't catch up, so that people can't

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go where I'm going. If I think I'm following Jesus and I'm going where he's leading me, but I'm

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doing it at a pace that no one can keep up with, then am I actually going to lead anybody to Jesus?

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Am I actually going to be able to disciple anybody? Am I actually going to be able to be in community?

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No. And so for me, it was like this reframing of God of like where I had put success and being

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the best at something as like the goal. Like I want to be the best youth worker. And I ran some

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pretty great youth ministries like on paper, the ministries I ran were like, pretty successful,

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you know, but actually that's not the point. That's not like that's not what God has put me on this

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earth to do. God has put me on this earth to tell young people about Jesus. And if I'm not doing

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that at a pace where young people can catch up, then I'm not doing what I was asked to do.

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And so obviously like within all of this, like how did you redefine success and how did God like?

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Yeah, how did you reframe it? Because obviously you like practically.

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Yeah, practically how did you reframe it? But also you said it was literally years of you

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doing ministry and being this professional Christian. You know, how did you reframe that?

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Yeah, what was that process like? It was a hard process because

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it's the way the whole church is kind of set up is that, you know, you'll go to I would go to a

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youth event with other youth workers. And the first question is how many young people are in your

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youth ministry? Like, you know, how many how many new Christians have you had in the last

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couple of months at your ministry? And they're all like, they're from a great place.

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Yeah. Because all of us as youth ministers want to see more young people coming to Jesus.

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Yeah. Like, that is all I wanted in my life as a youth minister. But I am no going to those

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meetings. I could say I've got, you know, there are 40 young people on ministry or I can say,

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you know, because I went into a school when I did school assemblies, I've interacted with over

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a thousand young people this month, which sounds better, a thousand young people. But actually,

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I'm discipling 40 young people and there's actual tangible stuff going on here. And 40 young people

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was awesome, but it would then feel like it wasn't enough. Right. And so, and I don't think the

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answer is to not talk about numbers because the Bible talks about numbers. And I think it's

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it's an important thing for us to know that we're reaching people and we're actually, you know,

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getting God's message out to people. But for me, it was, it was about me and God that actually,

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I had made my calling. I had made, I had this incredible moment with God when I was a missionary

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where I, one of the few times I think I've ever heard the audible voice of God was him saying,

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Martha, I have created you to tell young people about Jesus. And I was like, and that was what,

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like pushed me into full-time youth ministry at 20 years old. And it's what, like, put the fire

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under my, under me about it. But nearly every day, I would forget that moment and be like, how can

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I, how can I be better? How can I do this more? And so, practically, for me, it was like, okay,

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every morning, I'm like, I'm not created to, to go after numbers. I'm not created to,

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to do anything, like, you know, I'm not created. I'm definitely not created to do rotors and

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expenses, for example, which is a key part of youth ministry. What I'm created to do is to sit

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at the feet of Jesus and then tell people about him. And particularly, I think in my life, young

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people. And so, therefore, that needs to be the focus. And so, what success became for me was,

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actually, I've had a really successful week if I haven't worried about numbers.

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Not that I don't recognize them as a thing. Every church, every church,

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the nomination I ever worked for, you had to report numbers. So, I always knew how many young

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people were in my youth ministry. But actually, it wasn't going to be the thing that I focused on.

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Actually, the thing that I focused on was hearing, like, the one or two stories that you'd get from

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young people. And even then, it'd be like, I love young people a bit, be a bit mumbled in a bit.

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You know, I remember once a young person, I was, I was going, you know, how's, how's it going?

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You're running a CU. And it was genuinely like 20 minutes of the hardest conversation I think

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I've ever had with the young person. But it was just very mumbly and they were like, oh yeah,

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no, it's going okay. And then right at the end, after like 20 minutes, if not me, like,

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trying to draw it out, drawing it out. He was like, yeah, and then, you know, we prayed for this

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person and they got healed from their knee pain. And I was like, what are you sitting on that?

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I know. And I think it was like, that's like, you know, that was four years of disciplining that

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young person to then hear that, like, that snippet of what God was doing in their life. And I think

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it was like, actually, success for me isn't about even that story at the end. It's the fact that he

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even if the guy hadn't been healed, isn't that young person prayed for that young person to be

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healed? He stepped out. And so it's like, it was like going actually successes about discipleship,

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not about numbers. So good. And success is actually about my discipleship. So like, again,

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I could read the Bible in 90 days like I did when I was 18. But actually, that's not going to be

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the thing that, like, imprints it on my heart to change my, like, posture towards things.

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Actually, this is going to be about me and my relationship with Jesus and it being small one,

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actually, for me now, success is about when it doesn't become like a competition.

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And I'm like, you know, you hear people going, I'm going to read the Bible in a year or I'm going

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to do this. I'm going to do that. I'm like, yeah, I'm probably going to read the same Psalm six days

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in a row. And I'm going to be really happy about it because like God's clearly speaking to me

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through it. It was just lowering it and making it far less about what I looked like from the

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other side of far more what God was doing inside of me. Like, you know, I've never had like

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hundreds and hundreds of young people in my ministry. But I know I am more of an authentic

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follower of Jesus with more integrity and more passion for the Word of God and for teaching people

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about Jesus now than I wasn't 19. And for me, that is a huge success story. And that's not flashy

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and it's like anyone can do it. But that's what this is all about now. Yeah. That's so good.

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That is, he reminds me of Isaiah 64 verse 8 when the Psalmist says that we are the psalmist.

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No, Isaiah. Sorry, because you just said the psalm Psalms on my mind. But where Isaiah says that we

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are the clay and God is the potter. And it's like it's so evident that in the midst of having like

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this idea of how you wanted to look for God and be like, no, this is how I'm going to mold myself.

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I'm going to be the best most beautiful vase in your in your collection, God. And then being like,

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wait, actually, I just molded myself to look like this. Let's change that God. How do you want to

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mold me? And like remaining moldable, like soft clay in God's hands for him to rework and

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reshape us and like prune us and like, yeah, just grow us. And that is so evident all throughout

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your story. And it takes a lot to, it takes a lot to lay down like mindsets that have been so

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deeply ingrained into like your hearts and into your heart and to just how you've been living.

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That I'm really impacted by that is just remaining. That's what I'm taking from your story.

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It's just remaining moldable by God and remaining soft clay beneath his hands.

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And actually, like the practicality of that is that that is something I still have to do every day.

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I have to choose to do every day. You know, I think, you know, exactly is like a picture from

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Isaiah. I would very often be like, I know what a good Christian looks like. I'm going to mold myself

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to be a good Christian, whereas actually it is definitely exactly what you're saying of.

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I want to be like the bestful of Jesus. And so I'm just going to hand myself over to him.

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And that is a daily decision. And there are days where I don't make that decision. And there are days

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where I clock that I'm trying to mold myself. And there is always grace for that. But I think

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the moment you think you're not going to be like that anymore is the moment you're probably

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like that again. Well, that reminds me of what you were saying earlier about. I know you've had

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amazing encounters and testimonies of healing in your life. But what you were saying about how

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you would go forward every time. I can't remember if that was off camera or not. It was off camera.

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Okay. Well, just how you were mentioned, how you'd go forward for healing all the time. I like

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conferences or church events. And then you just felt God tell you to stop asking because it's

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becoming a bit of an idol. It's like that laying down. I'd love for you to go into what happened

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when you did lay that down. And you gave over the clay to God. And maybe go into a bit of what

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that looked like. Yeah. Yeah. So like you said, I was really, really ill for about seven years

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in total. So got ill while I was a missionary. That being a missionary wasn't really well for me.

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You should do it. You should be a mystery. I'm glad I did. But I got ill while being a missionary.

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So I drank some dirty water and just had this mystery tropical illness that no doctor could really

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work out what was going wrong with me. And it just made me sick a lot nearly every day. And I was

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in pain in my stomach every single day. And that's just not a nice way to live your life.

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And so I would go to a lot of events and be like, I'm going to go forward for healing.

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I'm going to, you know, some would say, we think someone in this room needs healing. And I'd

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be like, yep, it's me. Like, I actually had quite a lot of things physically wrong with me. And

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so I'd be like, yep, I would like healing. Please, for any of them, but particularly for this

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summer thing. And even I would sometimes be like, I don't even need healing. I just need to know

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what it is. And that would be nice. Just, you know, and I would like bargain with God. I don't

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even need you to heal me. I can cope with the illness. I've got really good at coping with it. But

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I, you know, would, you know, go on these little like, if I do this, would you do this with God

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quite a lot? And so I would go forward for healing all the time. And would oftentimes tell God,

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I couldn't do things because he hadn't healed me. And so that would be the conversation, God,

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and I would have quite a lot of like, I can't move to that place because you haven't healed me.

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Or I can't go work there because you have any, and you know, it became quite a bargaining chip

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between me and God. And I would, this kind of went on for about five issues. And then eventually,

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I was, I was like, having a moment of quiet time. And I don't even know what really led me to

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ask this question. But I remember being sat in the arm trail, my living room, my old flat. And I

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remember being like, God, is there anything in me right now that's not, there's like blocking me

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in you? And I would love, would love you to show me that. And so kind of took some time. I'm a big

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fan of silence and I take a time of silence every single morning and I recommend that. And so it

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was sitting there in silence, kind of asking God to show me this. And, and he said, Martha,

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being healed has become an idol for you. And it's, it's between me and you. You've made being

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healed something to praise and being healed is something to desire, not me. Well, and I was like,

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oh, no, because I don't want to stop asking to be healed because I'm really ill. And, and so I,

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and I sat there and I contemplated it. And I was like, but being healed isn't worth my relationship

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with God. And so I'm probably, I probably should stop. And so he led to some incredibly awkward

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moments of like people would come up to me and be like, can I pray for your stomach? And I'd be like,

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no. And then I, oh, are you better? But no, but you can't pray for it because God told me not to.

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And I went for, I think it was just over a year of just still being ill.

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And but focusing on other things with God of, you know, I remember I said, be sick loads. And

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at one time being sat on my bathroom floor after being really ill and just being

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rejeweled by God to pray for a situation going on the world that I had nothing to do with,

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but just in that moment felt like that's where God drew me. And that would never have happened

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a year before when I was, you know, so focused on healing, like I'd be sat on bathroom floors

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praying for my healing was suddenly God was drawing my attention to, to other things. And there were

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moments that were far less holy than that. And there were moments that were beautiful and profound,

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but I know in that year I learnt to trust God with my whole life. And I got to the point

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probably about seven or eight months in where I remember saying to a friend, I will,

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I will go wherever God sends me, I will do whatever God tells me to do. And it was like just before

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the pandemic hit. And I said it. And she said after he heals you. And I was like, regardless.

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And I ended up planning to move house during the pandemic because God told me to move jobs and

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and all that kind of stuff. And in the midst of moving and planning to move and

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and going to a new doctors and a new hospital. And I used to have asthma. We could get into that

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later that it's used to. But I used to have asthma. And I was in hospital because I hadn't asthma

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attack. I used to have asthma attacks every single October. And so I was having my yearly October

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asthma attack. And I was in hospital. And one of the doctors who was like not supposed to be on

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that ward was on that ward because he was just doing like a locom shift. And he was filling out

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his paperwork. And he said, Oh, if you've got any other health concerns. And I said, Oh, you know,

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I throw up nearly every day. But you know, that doesn't really count. And he was like, yes,

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it does. And so he was like, I'll let me do some tests. Let me do some tests. And so we went away

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turned out that he was an expert in where it turned out I had. That's crazy, which is crazy.

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And it's definitely God. And so I went from being ill for about seven years to in a weekend,

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found that I had got given the right medication and was given the all clear. Oh my God. Wow. Praise

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God. Yeah, which is insane. But it completely shifted how I viewed God because I imagined being

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healed to happen in like a really holy moment in a in like a big arena or being having people

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that I could immediately go to and be like, I got healed. Isn't this amazing? Wow. And actually,

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I got healed in one of those really unflattering hospital gowns in like in a, but what felt like a

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lab with a guy called Clive like holding a bowl for me to drop into if I needed to. That's how I

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got healed. Wow. And God is was just as present in that hospital room as he would have been in

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any arena or any church service or any prayer meeting. And it just completely reshaped how I viewed

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actually how God loved me because I think I'd put parameters on like me being healed or not healed

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showed how much God loved me. That's so real. Yeah, right? Like I was like, he can't I'm and that for

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me that became like I need to work harder or I need to do more because Godclean isn't love me

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enough. And I haven't earned the healing that I think I need. And it just in that year of like

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completely trusting in God and going, okay, even if, you know, like the reminder of the story of

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Daniel and Shadrat Meshek and the Bendigo who like, we're going to throw you in the fire and they go

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like, even if we die, we will worship. Even if he doesn't save me, I will worship. And like that

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year was a real moment of me as I can even if you're like, even if I never get healed from this or

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anything else, I will learn to worship you. I will learn to feel your love regardless of circumstance

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whether I'm like over a toilet bowl throwing up or whether I'm having the best time in ministry,

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whether I'm having the worst day or the best day, I will know that you are a God who loves me,

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who has great plans for me. And this my like present circumstance does not define how you view me

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which was an incredibly powerful thing for me to learn. I actually went in to a really tricky

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like a few years in my life was not in like a great place, ministry-wise and just really struggled

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but had that year behind me of going like, no, no, I know who my father is, I know that he loves me,

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I know that my present circumstance does not determine the love that father has for me.

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So that's kind of like what that looked like. And then I had the most bonkers year of my life,

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I think, that I've ever had crazy, crazy year. And I think it's interesting like having had that

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year of like even if I don't get healed, I will worship. And I was in youth ministry for 10 years

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like I said earlier, I then left youth ministry to do my job now which is I train people in youth

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ministry and work for an incredible charity called One Life. And I had got to know One Life

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as a youth worker and they'd been a huge part of me learning to do ministry sustainably and kind

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of help me get through the end time I was in ministry. And I kind of came to work for One Life still

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with quite a long list of things wrong with me physically. I wasn't throwing up every day,

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thank the Lord, but I had really severe asthma, I had a really severe allergy to strawberries which

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which was quite a big thing when I when I moved here. And I had chronic knee pain, I had knee pain

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my whole life, the kind of the reason I couldn't play football. And it was you know, and I had quite

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like an extensive list of like debilitating things about my life where I had to plan my life quite a

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lot around my health. And I got to point where I was like that's not going to stop me doing what

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God wants me to do. I can still move and join One Life and do this like because I trust in the

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God of the universe to to give me what I need not what I want. And so I came to One Life and

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and I it's New Year's Eve two years ago was in hospital with my asthma and the classic classic

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for my life at the time and my New Year's Eve moment that year was the nurse coming in and

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being like the nebulizer hasn't worked so we're going to do another one and also oh happy New Year

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and I was like okay okay so I was you know not very well and about a week later was in church

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and again like not a big fashion moment not being drawn to the front but like the person leading

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the service just stood up and said I think God wants to heal some people tonight so if you want to

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be healed please stand and I kid you not I've had asthma my entire life like over 25 years at that

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point I had been prayed for for my asthma to be healed I could not tell you the amount of times

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hundreds definitely hundreds and I you know I was like do I just think it's ever going to be a thing

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you know you get told with asthma that you'll grow out of there you get told all these things was

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I just think I'm going to have asthma my whole life and I'm okay with that I can cope with that

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I'm strong enough it's okay which again is not a great mindset but my friend was still next to me

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she kind of just pushed me up to stand and I was like what guess I'm standing now and some people

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in the church gathered around me and like there were lots of people being gathered around and

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and just as I was being prayed for breathing got easier and I was like maybe it's just because I feel

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really peaceful maybe it's because you know this is a nice warm room so my asthma is just dealing

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better with the room or yeah there's lots you kind of like humanly try to think and I don't want to

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get too excited and also you can't really test if asthma's healed or not but like because if you're

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not healed you die so I was like I don't really know what to do yeah and so I kind of was like I feel

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good and I said to my friend like I know I feel a bit better sat down carried on with the church

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service and I went home to like use my peak flow meter and if you have asked me you'll know about 700

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is normal for somebody mine on average was like between 300 and 500 but often lower and so I took

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my peak flow and it was nearly a thousand it was like I got it to the end of the thing oh my

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and I had never done that in my life and I was like oh my gosh that is crazy it's crazy it's

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crazy and so I thought I was on quite a lot of like I because I'd just been a hospital I was on

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quite a lot of medication so I say you know what I'm gonna not take any medication tonight and

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like so I wasn't gonna take my brown inhaler which is like the preventer that you take every day

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if you have asthma and I'm not gonna take my blue inhaler which is what you use when you're having

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about time so I'm just gonna go to bed and I like in my head I was like I will probably wake up in

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the middle of the night and need to use my inhaler that was at my I was like it but that's fine

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I was okay and I didn't and the next morning I did my peak flow and it was still around a thousand

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like okay wow and then didn't take any medication the whole day and basically kept doing

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my peak flow and it was and it's still like I could I did it two days ago and it was still around

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a thousand so it's like better than the average person so I'm fasting now which is insane

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and I was genuinely gobsmacked I could not remember a time my life when I did not have asthma

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when my like very early memories is sitting in my living room while my dad phoned

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it ambulance because I was having an asthma attack like I it marked my entire life and I was like

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I don't even know what to do about that and again like I said had prayed hundreds and hundreds of

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times to be healed from it and wasn't even really that expectant but had a friend who was

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expectant for me and I don't know if I would have been healed from my asthma if my friend hadn't been

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let's go today's the day or if the person leading the church service hadn't been obedient to

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God and shared that word and so that kind of started this year in my life that blew my socks off

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to be honest and took a long time for me to grapple with and get kind of any kind of like

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understanding of it in my head at all I got healed from my asthma in the January and then

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I then was just you know was like living high on life with that I was like I don't have

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asked for any more life is so good I can do so many things this is awesome remember like

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going skiing for the first time without asthma and being like wow this is awesome I can breathe

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everywhere wow um in going through um the October where I'd normally have an asthma attack

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and being like I don't have um I don't like I don't have an asthma attack I haven't gone to hospital

368
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this is incredible and then in in the November two things actually happened on the same day

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which was slightly wild um I went for breakfast with a mentor of mine and I accidentally

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ordered the wrong smoothie and I it was a smoothie I'd like thought I knew what was ordering

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and I took a sip and I didn't like it and I was like oh that doesn't taste how it used to taste

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but I was like I'm not gonna waste food that's rude this person has bought me this smoothie I'm

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going to so I drank the whole smoothie and um and then I kind of went up to the counter afterwards

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and I was like oh that tastes different to how it normally tastes and they're like oh yeah in the

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new recipe we should put strawberries in it now and I cannot explain to you how six strawberries

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made me before like you would both we but we've known yeah for quite a long time now and if I was

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around strawberries I would throw up I would get a headache if I ate them it was like I could die

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it was awful and I genuinely had had this whole smoothie that had what I found out later was a

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handful of strawberries and so the most of my strawberries ever and I was I and I I remember being

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stood in this cafe being like I'm going to die oh my god I haven't got any symptoms and normally

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by this point if I was just in a room with strawberries I would have a headache at the very least

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and I and I didn't really know what to do or what to say so I just kind of didn't tell anyone

383
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for the whole day I was just a bit like what's going on and I was like Lord am I healed

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yeah I don't know and weirdly enough looking back a friend in June had been praying for me about

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something completely unrelated and said I don't know why I just feel like you might be healed

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from strawberries now oh and I was like I am 100% not tasting like testing that at all like

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that's not happening but thank you maybe and I was like oh my gosh I think she was right

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and I was like okay wow so I didn't tell anyone the whole day and then the evening

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I went to a worship night and again in that worship night somebody stood up and said I think God

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wants to heal some people and by this point I'd also have had over the year other smaller like

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smaller that's ridiculous other healings that had happened like I broke my hand I got prayed for

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and my hand got healed I remember yeah yeah yeah you're both in the room when it happened yeah

393
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you just took your brace off yeah you were like oh yeah I remember you coming up the stairs

394
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and just holding your brace and you're like oh yeah my hands he was done it was crazy and like

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I said and then a similar thing happened with my shoulder and I hurt myself and then within a few

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days healed from it and so when this person stood up and said I think God wants to heal people I

397
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genuinely was like I'm good like I still had really bad pain in my knees and bits and like

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missing from my ankle which is sounds very dramatic but it was actually it was actually okay but

399
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:26.640
did affect my life but I was like I have had and I lit you in my head we're still like and I've

400
00:37:26.640 --> 00:37:31.200
also been healed from stroke the strawberry thing I think so yeah so I was like I actually think I'm

401
00:37:31.200 --> 00:37:37.360
okay yeah that's the okay and then once again a friend said let's pray for your knees and I was like

402
00:37:38.640 --> 00:37:44.720
okay and again my knees is something I've been prayed for loads to be healed from because this

403
00:37:44.720 --> 00:37:49.200
impacted your football career yeah so I can play football because of my knees but also like

404
00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:55.600
it impacted my whole life I couldn't walk you can't run couldn't run like if I walked longer than

405
00:37:55.600 --> 00:38:01.120
five ten minutes I'd be an agony if I I couldn't kneel in worship without being in pain

406
00:38:02.640 --> 00:38:08.560
it just it affected my whole life basically and I I don't know where I would I hope I would be

407
00:38:08.560 --> 00:38:14.240
England's best ever footballer without the knee pain but who knows and but it affected my whole

408
00:38:14.240 --> 00:38:21.280
life and and again I had been prayed for loads for my knees to be healed and and there have been

409
00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:25.280
moments where it like would get a little bit better and I'd be in less pain like there was a moment

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where they thought I was going to have to have a knee replacement I got prayed for I didn't

411
00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:33.760
need a knee replacement anymore but I still was in pain and so again a friend says let's pray for

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your knees and another friend puts their hands on my knees and immediately I feel like this burning

413
00:38:39.920 --> 00:38:45.600
heat which is I it's like a sign a lot of the time that healings like happening and I was like

414
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right and then the weirdest thing is I felt things move in my knees so the thing that was wrong

415
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of my knees that I didn't have any cartilage in my knees and I was feeling things move around

416
00:38:57.120 --> 00:39:03.360
well this person was praying for my knees and then the person leading the the worship evening

417
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said you know if you can test if you've been healed why don't you test if you've been healed

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and so I knelt down and for the first time in my memory was needing down without being any pain

419
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and and if you've ever experienced chronic pain there is like this weight that sits when you

420
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if you have pain that you live with day in day out you have like this level of constant pain and

421
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there'll be days where the pain gets worse and there'll be days where it's just at this constant

422
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:29.920
level it is like you're under a weight constantly and sometimes that weight is slightly heavier but

423
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there is always this weight on you and I just in that moment was suddenly so light and a little bit

424
00:39:39.520 --> 00:39:46.000
like when a bit loopy to be honest I was like I don't even know what's happening and so and our

425
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friend who you know I was eating the worship light I said you know if you think you've been

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completely healed put your hand up and I like had my eyes closed kneeling on the ground and I was just

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like I think I've been healed and and in that moment with the strawberry thing that had happened

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that day with the asthma from earlier with the like broken bones being healed and I genuinely

429
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was just blown away by the love of God because in all honesty my almost like my theology around

430
00:40:18.080 --> 00:40:24.480
healing was that I can cope with not being healed God like I'm strong enough I can deal with this

431
00:40:24.480 --> 00:40:32.400
you don't like I you should heal someone else I don't need it and and in God's goodness he had

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like given me this job that I love this church community that I love great friends I was like I'm

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00:40:37.920 --> 00:40:44.480
good if you never heal me and it was like God was just going you have no idea Martha you have no

434
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idea how good I am you have no idea how much I love you and I do not understand so much of like

435
00:40:51.840 --> 00:40:56.400
healing so much of like why I was healed at the point I was healed and why I wasn't healed like the

436
00:40:56.400 --> 00:41:03.280
other times that people say to me but I know that having gone through the like even if year

437
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of like actually being healed and what I believe about God are not linked at all anymore

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00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:18.160
and I can go through I can be healed from the stomach thing and be and like go through the hardest

439
00:41:18.160 --> 00:41:23.680
three years in ministry I ever had and know that God loves me and sustains me through that

440
00:41:23.680 --> 00:41:26.960
and then once I'd come out of that really hard time in ministry it God was like

441
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bam look how much I love you like you have I like I really and I don't know why and I don't have

442
00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:38.960
any good theological points which is slightly frustrating to me but it was like this oh my gosh

443
00:41:39.040 --> 00:41:44.880
I'm blown away by how much he loves me and I'm blown away by how much he has to sustain to me

444
00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:56.000
through some pretty tough times and wow yeah that is incredible I I am always blown away whenever

445
00:41:56.000 --> 00:42:01.200
you share about how you've been healed and how God's moved specifically in that area of your life

446
00:42:01.200 --> 00:42:07.280
that is incredible and it's almost like unbelievable yeah but all of it happened when we were around

447
00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:12.320
you yeah like I remember when you were healed from the store reality I remember none of us

448
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:16.560
one of our friends it was like to get like the strawberry smoothie from your deal and I'd always

449
00:42:16.560 --> 00:42:21.840
have to remind remind have you I know you can't get that because Martha's allergic to strawberries

450
00:42:21.840 --> 00:42:28.960
like and then you're just healed man and again at that worship night I remember you were jumping

451
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:36.320
around and dancing and it was just so much joy yeah um but I just wanted to circle back how would

452
00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:41.520
you speak into and encourage our audience some of them that might be dealing with the same

453
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things that you've dealt with or maybe are holding out to be healed by God but haven't seen that

454
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:54.080
yet and what would be your encouragement for them yeah I think first and foremost God sees your

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pain and he is never ever absent in pain and I think the biggest lesson I've learned in my time

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00:43:03.280 --> 00:43:09.040
as a Christian my time in ministry is that um there is there is never only just like God never

457
00:43:09.040 --> 00:43:14.640
wants to remove himself from what our struggle or um our pain that he is with you in that moment

458
00:43:15.680 --> 00:43:22.720
but also that he will show you his love in and it may be through healing and I pray that it is

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00:43:22.720 --> 00:43:29.840
through healing but it also will be in so many other extravagant ways um I cannot quantify the

460
00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:35.040
ways that I've seen God show me that he loves me in my time ministry and only five of them have

461
00:43:35.040 --> 00:43:41.280
been healing and so let God show you his love and trust in him for everything else

462
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:49.440
that's good that's amazing always wrap it up always wrap it up Martha that is an amazing encouragement

463
00:43:49.440 --> 00:43:54.240
and I wondered if you could just pray into that for our audience that would just be amazing yeah

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oh thank you so much let's pray having Father we thank you that you are a God of great love

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and you are a God who is close to us in our pain in our suffering and you are a God who will sustain us

466
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no matter what and so Lord I pray would you draw each and every single one of us close to you

467
00:44:11.520 --> 00:44:16.560
right now Lord where is there where there is a need for healing where there is a need for relief

468
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from pain will we pray with your presence come and be close to people right now and Lord in your

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00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:28.640
mercy would you heal us where there is a need would you meet us Lord bless us in your mighty name I

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pray oh man oh man thank you so much Martha thank you for being such a blessing to speak to you

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and to hear about your story and guys thank you so much for tuning in we hope that you've enjoyed

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the podcast and yeah tune in for the next one bye guys