WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.160
Is there a way to enlarge the ****?

2
00:00:02.160 --> 00:00:04.800
So you can put your penis in this device.

3
00:00:04.800 --> 00:00:06.240
They've actually done research on this.

4
00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:07.600
So 30 minutes, twice a day,

5
00:00:07.600 --> 00:00:10.560
and it does show improvements in length about two centimeters.

6
00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:12.880
And that's not all.

7
00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:14.640
So they actually do study on pistachios,

8
00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:17.040
where it guides you to 100 grams of pistachios every day,

9
00:00:17.040 --> 00:00:19.360
and they saw a decrease in erectile dysfunction.

10
00:00:19.360 --> 00:00:20.960
Because if you're not having erections,

11
00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:23.040
now you're no longer getting blood flow to your penis,

12
00:00:23.040 --> 00:00:24.560
and it will shrink over time.

13
00:00:24.560 --> 00:00:26.800
And the same goes for women with their clitoris,

14
00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:28.320
because it's the same type of tissue.

15
00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:31.280
But also, when you look at people who have sex once a week,

16
00:00:31.280 --> 00:00:35.440
they live 49% longer than people who only have sex once a year.

17
00:00:35.440 --> 00:00:36.880
14, 9% longer.

18
00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:40.560
Yeah, and for every 100 orgasms men had,

19
00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:42.880
they lived like 13% longer.

20
00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:49.760
Dr. Reena Malik has become the world's most watched urologist.

21
00:00:49.760 --> 00:00:52.320
After sharing everything you need to know about hormones,

22
00:00:52.320 --> 00:00:53.120
sexual health,

23
00:00:53.120 --> 00:00:55.760
and how to have better sex based on the data.

24
00:00:55.760 --> 00:00:58.000
So how can you have the best sex possible?

25
00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:01.040
So there's four main pillars of sexual health.

26
00:01:01.040 --> 00:01:02.320
So pillar one is fuel.

27
00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:03.760
So how you nourish your body.

28
00:01:03.760 --> 00:01:06.400
And it's a huge part of sexual activity.

29
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:07.840
And then pillar two is strength.

30
00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:08.880
When people think about strength,

31
00:01:08.880 --> 00:01:11.200
they always think about going to the gym and lifting weights.

32
00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:12.240
But it's much more than that.

33
00:01:12.240 --> 00:01:13.360
So when you look at the data,

34
00:01:13.360 --> 00:01:15.440
any sort of cardiovascular exercise

35
00:01:15.440 --> 00:01:17.360
is going to improve sexual function.

36
00:01:17.360 --> 00:01:19.840
It's going to improve blood flow to the penis and to the clitoris.

37
00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:22.000
And then also, if you do 150 minutes a week,

38
00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:24.800
it is the same amount of improvement as you would see

39
00:01:24.800 --> 00:01:27.200
when you take a medication like Viagra.

40
00:01:27.280 --> 00:01:29.040
And the other part of it is the pelvic floor.

41
00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:31.360
It's under evaluated, under discussed,

42
00:01:31.360 --> 00:01:32.480
and we'll get into that.

43
00:01:32.480 --> 00:01:33.920
But pillar three is environment.

44
00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:36.560
So things like stress, sleep,

45
00:01:36.560 --> 00:01:38.320
and undercundisrupting chemicals.

46
00:01:38.320 --> 00:01:39.840
For example, they looked at data

47
00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:41.520
on men sleeping five hours a night

48
00:01:41.520 --> 00:01:43.040
versus eight hours a night.

49
00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:44.800
Guys who sleep five hours a night,

50
00:01:44.800 --> 00:01:46.640
their testosterone drops 15%.

51
00:01:47.520 --> 00:01:48.880
And then the last of the four pillars

52
00:01:48.880 --> 00:01:50.640
that we don't talk about enough

53
00:01:50.640 --> 00:01:52.880
is, and that's still important.

54
00:01:53.520 --> 00:01:55.360
Reno, I want to talk about morning erections,

55
00:01:55.360 --> 00:01:57.440
squirting, clitorial stimulation,

56
00:01:57.440 --> 00:02:00.080
and certain positions that are going to increase

57
00:02:00.080 --> 00:02:02.640
the probability that my partner has an orgasm.

58
00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:04.240
Let's talk about all of that.

59
00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:05.040
First of all,

60
00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:08.560
Guys, I've got a favor to ask

61
00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:09.760
before this episode begins.

62
00:02:09.760 --> 00:02:12.000
The algorithm, if you follow a show,

63
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:14.560
deliver you the best episodes from that show

64
00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:16.080
very prominently in your feed.

65
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:18.160
So when we have our best episodes on this show,

66
00:02:18.160 --> 00:02:20.320
the most shared episodes, the most rated episodes,

67
00:02:20.320 --> 00:02:21.440
I would love you to know.

68
00:02:21.440 --> 00:02:23.200
And the simple way for you to know that

69
00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:24.560
is to hit that follow button.

70
00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:26.880
But also, it's the simple, easy,

71
00:02:26.880 --> 00:02:29.120
free thing that you can do to help us make this show better.

72
00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:30.800
I would be hugely grateful

73
00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:32.160
if you could take a minute on the app

74
00:02:32.160 --> 00:02:33.360
you're listening to this on right now

75
00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:34.480
and hit that follow button.

76
00:02:34.480 --> 00:02:37.280
Thank you so, so, so much.

77
00:02:45.440 --> 00:02:46.800
Dr. Reno Malik.

78
00:02:47.760 --> 00:02:49.760
If somebody was to come up to you in the street,

79
00:02:49.760 --> 00:02:52.000
having watched your videos online,

80
00:02:52.160 --> 00:02:54.000
and they were a follower of the content

81
00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:56.160
you've produced over the last couple of years,

82
00:02:56.160 --> 00:02:58.320
if you had to guess the question they would ask you,

83
00:02:58.320 --> 00:02:59.840
because it's probably the most

84
00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:01.840
frequent popular question you get asked,

85
00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:03.360
what do you think they would say?

86
00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:05.360
They would say, what can I be doing right now

87
00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.680
to improve my sex life?

88
00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:09.280
Who would be asking you that question

89
00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:10.960
and why do you think they'd be asking it?

90
00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:13.920
I think everyone can agree that sex is something we enjoy.

91
00:03:13.920 --> 00:03:16.800
It's something that's important that we want to have, right?

92
00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:21.520
And there is a desire to have good sex

93
00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:23.120
or feel like maybe you're missing out

94
00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:24.800
on something that could be even better.

95
00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:27.120
So how can you have the best sex possible?

96
00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:28.960
Because you hear all these people talking

97
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:31.280
about amazing sex in the media.

98
00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:33.280
You might see it on pornography.

99
00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:35.200
You might feel like this is something amazing.

100
00:03:35.200 --> 00:03:36.600
Why am I not having that?

101
00:03:36.600 --> 00:03:37.680
I want that, right?

102
00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:40.800
So on that point, you said it's obvious that it's important.

103
00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:43.360
I think it appears to be increasingly

104
00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:45.200
not obvious that it's important.

105
00:03:45.200 --> 00:03:46.640
Because when you look at some of these stats,

106
00:03:46.640 --> 00:03:50.280
I'll throw this graph that I've found here up on screen.

107
00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:52.480
And it shows that people are becoming more sexless,

108
00:03:52.480 --> 00:03:55.480
especially young adults between 18 and 30.

109
00:03:55.480 --> 00:03:57.680
This graph is pretty stark.

110
00:03:57.680 --> 00:04:00.360
Think about 50 years ago, there was no cell phones.

111
00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:01.760
There might be some TV programs,

112
00:04:01.760 --> 00:04:04.120
but there was ads in between TV programs.

113
00:04:04.120 --> 00:04:05.600
And there was only certain TV shows

114
00:04:05.600 --> 00:04:07.480
you could watch a certain time that you enjoyed.

115
00:04:07.480 --> 00:04:09.000
And then there was nothing to watch.

116
00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:09.840
There was no email.

117
00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:11.440
So you went to work and you came home.

118
00:04:11.440 --> 00:04:13.040
And there was really not a lot of communication

119
00:04:13.040 --> 00:04:15.160
between you and your coworkers or your job.

120
00:04:15.160 --> 00:04:16.880
They made dinner with their family.

121
00:04:16.880 --> 00:04:17.960
They hung out.

122
00:04:17.960 --> 00:04:20.000
And then maybe they watched a program or two.

123
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:21.280
And then they lied down in bed.

124
00:04:21.280 --> 00:04:22.960
They didn't have a phone to scroll on.

125
00:04:22.960 --> 00:04:25.200
They didn't have anything to keep them up.

126
00:04:25.200 --> 00:04:27.200
And so then they were like next to their partner.

127
00:04:27.200 --> 00:04:29.520
And maybe they're talking, maybe they're cuddling.

128
00:04:29.520 --> 00:04:32.720
And so there was more like opportunity and space for sex, right?

129
00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:34.880
It was the thing that you did for enjoyment,

130
00:04:34.880 --> 00:04:36.560
for pleasure, for fun.

131
00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:39.320
Now we have all these distractions that

132
00:04:39.320 --> 00:04:41.760
keep our mind away from sex.

133
00:04:41.760 --> 00:04:44.640
In order to enjoy sex, you need to have space for it.

134
00:04:44.640 --> 00:04:46.600
You'd be able to enjoy your partner

135
00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:48.800
and feel like you want that, right?

136
00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.760
And now we're sort of, there's not as much room for it.

137
00:04:51.760 --> 00:04:52.760
That's one.

138
00:04:52.760 --> 00:04:54.760
Two is younger people.

139
00:04:54.760 --> 00:04:55.720
How are they dating?

140
00:04:55.720 --> 00:04:57.240
How are they meeting each other?

141
00:04:57.240 --> 00:05:01.240
They're meeting each other through apps, through DMs.

142
00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:04.000
And so they're not actually like really having

143
00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:05.960
these deep, meaningful connections.

144
00:05:05.960 --> 00:05:07.520
There's a big hookup culture.

145
00:05:07.520 --> 00:05:09.720
There's a big fling culture.

146
00:05:09.720 --> 00:05:12.440
And imagine first time sex for most people is not great.

147
00:05:12.440 --> 00:05:13.760
You don't know your partner.

148
00:05:13.760 --> 00:05:14.960
You don't know what they like.

149
00:05:14.960 --> 00:05:17.000
And you may not be able to express what you like.

150
00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:19.800
You never taught how to talk about sex, right?

151
00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:22.120
So you don't know how to say, hey, I like it like this.

152
00:05:22.120 --> 00:05:24.560
And you may be self-conscious, because it's your first time.

153
00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:27.000
So you have mediocre sex or bad sex.

154
00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:28.840
And they're like, well, I don't really want that.

155
00:05:28.840 --> 00:05:31.480
And there's just no follow-through.

156
00:05:31.480 --> 00:05:35.280
There's not a lot of education on what sex should look like.

157
00:05:35.280 --> 00:05:36.880
The only education people are getting

158
00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:39.120
are from often erotic films.

159
00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:42.760
And so there's seeing sex that's not real, that's curated.

160
00:05:42.760 --> 00:05:44.000
And they're trying to emulate that.

161
00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:46.120
And that's not pleasurable for most people.

162
00:05:46.120 --> 00:05:49.000
And younger people these days are actually

163
00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:52.000
having a rise in more we call rough sex.

164
00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:55.120
So choking has become very, very common.

165
00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:58.840
As common as they call choking almost like vanilla sex.

166
00:05:58.840 --> 00:06:03.640
So young people, if you look at data, 60% of women,

167
00:06:03.640 --> 00:06:07.720
and I think it's 20% of men have been choked during sex

168
00:06:07.720 --> 00:06:09.800
of that age group, like college age group.

169
00:06:09.800 --> 00:06:11.520
And of those people who get choked,

170
00:06:11.520 --> 00:06:14.640
20% have been choked 25 times or more.

171
00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:16.640
I think it's fine if you're into that.

172
00:06:16.640 --> 00:06:19.760
But I can't imagine that that many people are into choking.

173
00:06:19.760 --> 00:06:20.920
And there's data to support that.

174
00:06:20.920 --> 00:06:22.440
So when you look at quality of data,

175
00:06:22.440 --> 00:06:25.120
and this is by Debbie Herbeneck, she's a sex researcher,

176
00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:27.200
and she did quality of research, and she asked people,

177
00:06:27.200 --> 00:06:28.880
what does it like to you enjoy being choked?

178
00:06:28.880 --> 00:06:30.160
Tell us about it, right?

179
00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:31.960
Women were like, yeah, it's okay.

180
00:06:31.960 --> 00:06:34.680
Sometimes I'm scared because my partner is big and strong,

181
00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:37.280
and I'm smaller, and they have big hands.

182
00:06:37.280 --> 00:06:40.160
Sometimes it's fine, and sometimes I don't really care for it,

183
00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:41.920
but it's just a part of sex.

184
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:44.680
It just says normal as kissing, for example.

185
00:06:44.680 --> 00:06:47.720
And so if you're having sex and you're doing things

186
00:06:47.720 --> 00:06:50.200
just because you think that's what your partner wants

187
00:06:50.200 --> 00:06:53.080
or what it should look like, and you're not enjoying it,

188
00:06:53.080 --> 00:06:56.200
well, that's not gonna be sex that you wanna have.

189
00:06:56.200 --> 00:06:58.560
That point you said about the lifestyles we lead

190
00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:00.840
and how that might be impacting our sex lives.

191
00:07:00.840 --> 00:07:01.680
I thought it was really interesting

192
00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:02.880
because we don't talk enough about this,

193
00:07:02.880 --> 00:07:06.400
but when you look at some of the data on this demographic,

194
00:07:06.400 --> 00:07:09.840
people 30 and below around that age,

195
00:07:09.840 --> 00:07:13.320
the extreme outliers are spending eight to 10 hours

196
00:07:13.320 --> 00:07:15.920
on their phones on social media and on the internet,

197
00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:20.040
and roughly about 15 to 20% of young people

198
00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:22.520
describe their usage as almost constant,

199
00:07:22.520 --> 00:07:26.040
effectively scrolling during all waking hours,

200
00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:27.560
while they're eating, while they're in the bathroom,

201
00:07:27.560 --> 00:07:28.680
and before they go to sleep.

202
00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:31.240
So I was wondering from a dopamine perspective,

203
00:07:31.240 --> 00:07:33.680
if there's correlation between these like,

204
00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:36.320
dopamine-migenic activities that are now like

205
00:07:36.320 --> 00:07:38.960
hijacking our lives, whether it's short form videos

206
00:07:38.960 --> 00:07:42.920
on social media, whether it's pornography or food,

207
00:07:42.920 --> 00:07:45.360
whether it's having an impact on what then happens

208
00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:48.000
in the bedroom and our performance in the bedroom.

209
00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:50.600
If you think about what you need to have good sex,

210
00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:54.160
is you need to be sort of in the mind space for sex.

211
00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:56.280
And if you're constantly like hijacked

212
00:07:56.280 --> 00:07:57.400
by all these other things,

213
00:07:57.400 --> 00:07:59.680
you're never like really getting in the mood, right?

214
00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:01.720
You're just like, oh, I'm gonna be turned on

215
00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:04.040
when I see my partner and we're gonna have sex

216
00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:05.000
and it's gonna be over.

217
00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:07.840
And it's just really a mechanical thing at that point, right?

218
00:08:07.840 --> 00:08:10.160
You're not actually, you're just trying to get an orgasm.

219
00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:13.000
You're not actually like spending the time to enjoy

220
00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:15.080
and to experience that fully,

221
00:08:15.080 --> 00:08:16.120
because you're just so like,

222
00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:18.800
you're just your brain is always doing something else, right?

223
00:08:18.800 --> 00:08:21.960
Because people are constantly scrolling like every 60 seconds,

224
00:08:21.960 --> 00:08:23.520
there's a new video, there's something else.

225
00:08:23.520 --> 00:08:25.640
And so it's really hard to focus.

226
00:08:25.640 --> 00:08:27.760
And so that can translate to the bedroom

227
00:08:27.760 --> 00:08:29.560
where you're like, you're having sex,

228
00:08:29.560 --> 00:08:30.840
but your brain is somewhere else,

229
00:08:30.840 --> 00:08:32.480
thinking about something else you saw

230
00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.800
or something you have to do or something you wanna see,

231
00:08:34.800 --> 00:08:37.240
or something you wanna look up, whatever it is,

232
00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:39.640
but you're not really in there in the moment.

233
00:08:39.640 --> 00:08:41.080
You're just going through the motions.

234
00:08:41.080 --> 00:08:43.920
And so I think that's really where the challenge is,

235
00:08:43.920 --> 00:08:47.160
is that people are becoming increasingly distractible.

236
00:08:47.160 --> 00:08:49.040
I find it really hard to be honest to have sex

237
00:08:49.040 --> 00:08:50.600
if I've had like a really, really busy day

238
00:08:50.600 --> 00:08:52.840
or if I'm really, really thinking about something.

239
00:08:52.840 --> 00:08:53.840
I almost have to,

240
00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:56.240
I have to like intentionally create quite a lot of space.

241
00:08:56.240 --> 00:08:57.080
Exactly.

242
00:08:57.080 --> 00:09:00.400
In order to be able to be in the mood.

243
00:09:00.400 --> 00:09:01.480
Yeah, be aroused, right?

244
00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:03.120
It takes like time and energy.

245
00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:04.400
I think I appreciate you for saying that

246
00:09:04.400 --> 00:09:06.880
because a lot of people think that men are just ready

247
00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:09.960
to go at any moment and that's not fair, right?

248
00:09:09.960 --> 00:09:12.720
Because everyone needs time to be aroused.

249
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:14.400
It's not just instant for everybody,

250
00:09:14.400 --> 00:09:16.440
especially when you have a lot of work stress

251
00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:18.880
or life stress or other things going on.

252
00:09:18.880 --> 00:09:22.040
It's actually like you have to make time and space for it.

253
00:09:22.040 --> 00:09:23.880
Yeah, because as a man, you gotta get an erection.

254
00:09:23.880 --> 00:09:26.800
And I always think that an erection is a consequence,

255
00:09:26.800 --> 00:09:29.000
usually, especially when it comes to sex.

256
00:09:29.000 --> 00:09:30.280
And I'm not talking about morning glory here,

257
00:09:30.280 --> 00:09:33.800
but an erection is a consequence of like a story.

258
00:09:33.800 --> 00:09:35.720
Use the word aroused.

259
00:09:35.720 --> 00:09:37.480
There's like a story in my head,

260
00:09:37.480 --> 00:09:39.480
which makes me go, oh, that's gonna hurt.

261
00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:41.360
Yeah, you need something.

262
00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:43.000
You need some stimuli, right?

263
00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:45.280
You can think about something, see something,

264
00:09:45.280 --> 00:09:47.160
smell something, feel something, right?

265
00:09:47.160 --> 00:09:50.080
You need to just be together and sort of allow yourselves

266
00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:52.640
to be intimate before that sort of desire

267
00:09:52.640 --> 00:09:54.320
and arousal come together.

268
00:09:54.320 --> 00:09:56.160
And for me as well, it's not just touch.

269
00:09:56.160 --> 00:09:57.200
Like that isn't necessarily,

270
00:09:57.200 --> 00:09:58.960
for me it really is quite like a psychological thing.

271
00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:01.760
I was wondering if this is,

272
00:10:01.760 --> 00:10:03.480
there's any data around this or,

273
00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:04.720
I mean, just even anecdotally.

274
00:10:04.800 --> 00:10:07.440
People get aroused in very, very different ways, don't they?

275
00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:08.440
Yeah, absolutely.

276
00:10:08.440 --> 00:10:11.800
I mean, some people are very like visual.

277
00:10:11.800 --> 00:10:13.680
So they, you know, they see their partner

278
00:10:13.680 --> 00:10:15.440
and they get aroused very quickly.

279
00:10:15.440 --> 00:10:16.600
Basically, when you get aroused,

280
00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:19.200
you need to be in a parasympathetic nervous system state.

281
00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:20.640
So in order to get an erection,

282
00:10:20.640 --> 00:10:23.600
you need to be in the state, which is like rest and digest.

283
00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:26.040
So if you're stressed, if you're thinking about other things,

284
00:10:26.040 --> 00:10:28.520
if you're essentially on the go,

285
00:10:28.520 --> 00:10:31.520
you are not allowing your nervous system to calm down.

286
00:10:31.520 --> 00:10:34.160
And so for some people, that's a whole bunch of different things.

287
00:10:34.160 --> 00:10:36.800
Some people can switch more easily into that state.

288
00:10:36.800 --> 00:10:40.120
And some people need more of like, you know,

289
00:10:40.120 --> 00:10:44.120
to feel either mentally stimulated

290
00:10:44.120 --> 00:10:46.440
or they need to have some associations.

291
00:10:46.440 --> 00:10:48.200
Like it might be like they need a certain scent.

292
00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:50.040
They need to like relax their body.

293
00:10:50.040 --> 00:10:51.520
They need to like go take a bath.

294
00:10:51.520 --> 00:10:54.960
Whatever it is, but some people need different things.

295
00:10:54.960 --> 00:10:58.240
And knowing what that is for your partner is super important,

296
00:10:58.240 --> 00:10:59.080
right?

297
00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:00.640
Because then you can incorporate that.

298
00:11:00.640 --> 00:11:02.360
Everything is scheduled in our lives, right?

299
00:11:02.360 --> 00:11:05.760
And then you're like, oh, but now sex is like the last thing on the schedule, right?

300
00:11:05.760 --> 00:11:06.760
And like, I don't even think about it.

301
00:11:06.760 --> 00:11:08.480
Like, oh, okay, now, yeah, maybe let's have sex.

302
00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:10.720
But like if you actually make time to be intimate,

303
00:11:10.720 --> 00:11:14.720
allow yourself to be in that brain space, be together,

304
00:11:14.720 --> 00:11:16.440
that's when it can actually happen.

305
00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:18.520
Especially when you've been in a long-term relationship,

306
00:11:18.520 --> 00:11:20.920
it doesn't come as easily, like spontaneously,

307
00:11:20.920 --> 00:11:22.320
which you call spontaneous desire.

308
00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:26.240
It comes more of a response to these other cues

309
00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:29.480
that allow you to feel desire and to feel aroused.

310
00:11:30.440 --> 00:11:31.440
Hmm.

311
00:11:31.440 --> 00:11:33.720
I also think I was thinking about a previous relationship I had,

312
00:11:33.720 --> 00:11:37.240
where on the days where I'd been like working very hard

313
00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:39.120
and I was like tired or stressed or had been traveling

314
00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:42.200
and I was jet lagged, I think there was also,

315
00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:44.400
because I didn't see this person often.

316
00:11:44.400 --> 00:11:46.160
There was also an expectation that when I did see them,

317
00:11:46.160 --> 00:11:47.400
we were gonna have sex.

318
00:11:47.400 --> 00:11:51.320
And that was very hard,

319
00:11:51.320 --> 00:11:54.480
because actually the expectation of it,

320
00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:56.200
stressed me out more.

321
00:11:56.680 --> 00:11:59.920
And that can happen, if it becomes the elephant in the room,

322
00:11:59.920 --> 00:12:01.120
it can become a little bit heavy,

323
00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:04.120
which then is counterproductive to performance.

324
00:12:04.120 --> 00:12:07.440
And this is sort of a variation on performance anxiety.

325
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:11.000
So when you feel like you have to perform on demand

326
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:13.400
and maybe you're worried it might not happen,

327
00:12:13.400 --> 00:12:14.960
it creates this vicious loop, right?

328
00:12:14.960 --> 00:12:16.760
So you maybe have trouble with an erection

329
00:12:16.760 --> 00:12:18.960
or maybe I'm expected to have sex

330
00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:20.240
but I really can't get there mentally.

331
00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:22.800
Whatever it is, now you're thinking about that, right?

332
00:12:22.800 --> 00:12:24.040
And then you're with your partner and you're like,

333
00:12:24.040 --> 00:12:25.200
oh my God, I'm gonna have trouble.

334
00:12:25.240 --> 00:12:27.600
You're not enjoying the pleasurable sensations

335
00:12:27.600 --> 00:12:29.840
or the visuals or like feeling each other.

336
00:12:29.840 --> 00:12:31.640
You are literally thinking in your own head

337
00:12:31.640 --> 00:12:33.360
about how you're gonna respond.

338
00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:36.600
And then that anxiety makes it so that you can't get an erection

339
00:12:36.600 --> 00:12:37.920
or you can't be aroused.

340
00:12:37.920 --> 00:12:39.400
And so now you're like anxious

341
00:12:39.400 --> 00:12:41.480
and you're not focused, you're almost spectatoring.

342
00:12:41.480 --> 00:12:43.040
You're just watching yourself have sex.

343
00:12:43.040 --> 00:12:45.040
You're not actually like in the moment.

344
00:12:45.040 --> 00:12:47.440
So then you know, you have a negative outcome

345
00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:48.520
because when you're stressed,

346
00:12:48.520 --> 00:12:50.080
your sympathetic nervous system is on, right?

347
00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:52.040
You can't really get an erection

348
00:12:52.040 --> 00:12:54.400
or you can't really get aroused.

349
00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:55.880
And so then you're like, oh man,

350
00:12:55.880 --> 00:12:57.480
now I've let my partner down.

351
00:12:57.480 --> 00:12:59.960
Now I haven't performed, which I hate that word,

352
00:12:59.960 --> 00:13:02.280
but like performed the way I should

353
00:13:02.280 --> 00:13:05.280
or I'm expected to and now something's wrong with me.

354
00:13:05.280 --> 00:13:08.200
And now that just keeps going in a vicious cycle.

355
00:13:08.200 --> 00:13:10.560
Have you spoken to people that have experienced this?

356
00:13:10.560 --> 00:13:11.560
Absolutely.

357
00:13:11.560 --> 00:13:12.520
It's common.

358
00:13:12.520 --> 00:13:13.400
Very common.

359
00:13:13.400 --> 00:13:14.400
It's help people,

360
00:13:14.400 --> 00:13:16.640
anytime you have problems in the bedroom,

361
00:13:16.640 --> 00:13:17.800
it stays with you.

362
00:13:17.800 --> 00:13:19.520
So how'd you break the cycle?

363
00:13:19.520 --> 00:13:20.960
Yeah, so I tell people,

364
00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:22.120
when you're with your partner,

365
00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:25.200
take the pressure off penetration.

366
00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:27.240
Just explore each other's body.

367
00:13:27.240 --> 00:13:28.880
Do what's called like senseate focus,

368
00:13:28.880 --> 00:13:30.680
like explore the rest of your body,

369
00:13:30.680 --> 00:13:32.640
figure out other erogenous zones,

370
00:13:32.640 --> 00:13:35.240
other things that can turn you guys both on

371
00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:37.920
that don't involve erections and penetration.

372
00:13:37.920 --> 00:13:40.120
And then once you realize you're focused on that,

373
00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:42.520
you're really like exploring, enjoying playing,

374
00:13:42.520 --> 00:13:43.560
you're having a good time,

375
00:13:43.560 --> 00:13:45.480
and you're not thinking about your erection,

376
00:13:45.480 --> 00:13:47.360
now you'll notice, oh, the erection just comes, right?

377
00:13:47.360 --> 00:13:48.600
And then once you get to that point,

378
00:13:48.600 --> 00:13:50.360
then you can start even touching genitals,

379
00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.480
but still hold off on penetration.

380
00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:54.200
And then after you've realized,

381
00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:55.800
like the genitals are, you know,

382
00:13:55.800 --> 00:13:57.400
it's always working the way I want it to,

383
00:13:57.400 --> 00:13:59.240
and I'm not thinking about it, I'm not stressed,

384
00:13:59.240 --> 00:14:02.760
then finally you can then introduce penetrative sex again.

385
00:14:02.760 --> 00:14:06.040
So it's just sort of like a gradiated, sort of slow advance

386
00:14:06.040 --> 00:14:09.240
into, you know, having sex again,

387
00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:12.720
but now kind of focusing on being more present and mindful

388
00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:14.760
and enjoying those sensations.

389
00:14:14.760 --> 00:14:17.560
I think a lot of people will be able to do that,

390
00:14:17.560 --> 00:14:19.080
but there's also a big contingent of people

391
00:14:19.080 --> 00:14:21.880
that just avoid sex.

392
00:14:22.680 --> 00:14:25.400
It's a sort of subject in their relationship

393
00:14:25.400 --> 00:14:26.680
for whatever reason.

394
00:14:26.680 --> 00:14:28.360
Both partners don't know how to communicate,

395
00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:29.280
they haven't got the tools

396
00:14:29.280 --> 00:14:30.600
to talk about these kind of things openly,

397
00:14:30.600 --> 00:14:32.920
and honestly, do you see that a lot as well?

398
00:14:32.920 --> 00:14:35.480
Absolutely, I mean, what do you hear in this regard?

399
00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:37.520
So I think it's really sad.

400
00:14:37.520 --> 00:14:39.800
I see people come in and they're like,

401
00:14:39.800 --> 00:14:42.520
I ask every patient, like, are you having sex?

402
00:14:42.520 --> 00:14:43.520
Why not, right?

403
00:14:43.520 --> 00:14:44.440
Because sometimes they'll say no,

404
00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:45.920
and most doctors are like, okay,

405
00:14:45.920 --> 00:14:47.160
but I always say, why not?

406
00:14:47.160 --> 00:14:48.240
Why are you not having sex?

407
00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:49.440
Is it because you're having an issue?

408
00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:51.280
Is it because you're having pain?

409
00:14:51.280 --> 00:14:52.520
What's going on, right?

410
00:14:52.520 --> 00:14:54.920
And oftentimes, I'll hear from people

411
00:14:54.920 --> 00:14:57.400
that my partner is just not into it,

412
00:14:57.400 --> 00:14:59.080
and I just sort of gave up.

413
00:14:59.080 --> 00:15:01.600
And I'm just, we just don't have sex anymore.

414
00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:03.800
You know, for me, that's a red flag,

415
00:15:03.800 --> 00:15:08.320
because sex is a huge important part of our lives.

416
00:15:08.320 --> 00:15:11.600
It is a way we connect with another human being.

417
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:14.520
It's also telling that things are working really well.

418
00:15:14.520 --> 00:15:16.920
So when you have good sexual function,

419
00:15:16.920 --> 00:15:18.800
meaning you get an erection well,

420
00:15:18.800 --> 00:15:21.280
or you get a rouse well, and you have a good orgasm,

421
00:15:21.280 --> 00:15:23.480
and everything feels good, that tells me that,

422
00:15:23.480 --> 00:15:25.800
hey, you've got great blood flow to your genitals.

423
00:15:25.800 --> 00:15:27.000
Your nerves are working great,

424
00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:28.480
your hormones are sending signals,

425
00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:30.320
like all these things are good, right?

426
00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:34.160
But also, sex is more than just the act of sex.

427
00:15:34.160 --> 00:15:36.440
It also helps you live longer.

428
00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:40.560
So there's been a few studies looking at sex and longevity.

429
00:15:40.560 --> 00:15:43.200
And when you look at people who have sex once a week,

430
00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:46.240
compared to people who have sex once a year,

431
00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:49.400
the difference in all-cause mortality is 49%.

432
00:15:49.400 --> 00:15:52.040
They live 49% longer than people

433
00:15:52.040 --> 00:15:53.680
who only have sex once a year.

434
00:15:53.680 --> 00:15:55.080
14, 9% longer.

435
00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:56.080
Yeah, yeah.

436
00:15:58.240 --> 00:15:59.840
Be right back, and I'm joking.

437
00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:03.480
So even if you're doing less than once a week,

438
00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:04.720
but more than once a year,

439
00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:06.840
it still improves your longevity.

440
00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:07.840
There was actually an interesting study.

441
00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:09.720
In 1997, I think it was,

442
00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:13.080
where they looked at the number of orgasms men had,

443
00:16:13.080 --> 00:16:17.960
and they found that men who had for every 100 orgasms men had,

444
00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:20.600
they lived like 13% longer.

445
00:16:20.600 --> 00:16:23.240
They had a 13% increase in life expectancy.

446
00:16:23.240 --> 00:16:25.360
And so it was really interesting to me

447
00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:28.160
to just showing you that this is not just

448
00:16:28.160 --> 00:16:30.040
an act of pleasure and fun.

449
00:16:30.040 --> 00:16:32.600
It is, obviously, but it's much more than that

450
00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:36.000
because people who are having sex clearly have better health.

451
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:37.920
And this connection with people,

452
00:16:37.920 --> 00:16:40.360
I mean, loneliness is a big issue right now.

453
00:16:40.360 --> 00:16:42.880
The WHO made loneliness like an epidemic.

454
00:16:42.880 --> 00:16:44.960
So they've said that loneliness as bad

455
00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:47.000
is having like 15 cigarettes.

456
00:16:47.000 --> 00:16:50.880
And so sex is a way to feel connected to another human being.

457
00:16:50.880 --> 00:16:54.120
On that data, we're not saying that it's the sex itself

458
00:16:54.120 --> 00:16:55.680
that's causing people to live longer.

459
00:16:55.680 --> 00:16:58.520
I guess it's hard to establish causation in terms of...

460
00:16:58.520 --> 00:17:01.640
Yeah, it's not necessarily sex, but they've looked at it.

461
00:17:01.640 --> 00:17:03.600
Like they try to control for other things,

462
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:06.280
like age and comorbidities and all these studies.

463
00:17:06.280 --> 00:17:09.800
And it's also like sex is a cardiovascular workout, right?

464
00:17:09.800 --> 00:17:11.520
For many people as a cardiovascular workout,

465
00:17:11.520 --> 00:17:14.080
you're getting a physical activity

466
00:17:14.080 --> 00:17:15.360
with your partner.

467
00:17:15.360 --> 00:17:16.760
You are increasing your heart rate.

468
00:17:16.760 --> 00:17:20.200
You are doing these things that are also good for your body.

469
00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:22.680
And the fact that you're able to have sex, right,

470
00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:23.920
tells me a lot about it, right?

471
00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:26.120
You're able to hold a certain position.

472
00:17:26.120 --> 00:17:29.720
You're able to maintain this level of activity

473
00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:31.400
without getting short of breath, right?

474
00:17:31.400 --> 00:17:33.760
Like these are things that having sex

475
00:17:33.760 --> 00:17:36.360
keeps you healthy to some degree.

476
00:17:36.360 --> 00:17:38.280
If I want to make sure that I have great sex,

477
00:17:38.280 --> 00:17:39.960
what are some of the foundational things

478
00:17:39.960 --> 00:17:42.240
that I need to be thinking of in terms of my lifestyle?

479
00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:45.320
Yeah, so there's four main pillars of sexual health.

480
00:17:45.320 --> 00:17:46.640
And I like to think of it like,

481
00:17:46.640 --> 00:17:48.120
your sexual health is your house

482
00:17:48.120 --> 00:17:49.680
and these pillars are the foundation.

483
00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:51.040
And if you don't have the foundation,

484
00:17:51.040 --> 00:17:52.960
it doesn't matter what else you do.

485
00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:55.360
You can try to do everything else to patch up your house,

486
00:17:55.360 --> 00:17:56.920
but it's always gonna break again

487
00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:58.600
because the foundation's not there.

488
00:17:58.600 --> 00:18:03.280
So you've got fuel and fuel is how you nourish your body.

489
00:18:03.280 --> 00:18:05.640
A lot of the data I'm gonna talk about is about men

490
00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:08.600
because there's just a lot more data on men and sexual health.

491
00:18:08.600 --> 00:18:10.080
But that doesn't mean that the same things

492
00:18:10.080 --> 00:18:13.720
don't apply to women, there's just less robust data on it.

493
00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:15.560
So when you talk about fuel,

494
00:18:15.560 --> 00:18:18.440
that Mediterranean diet is the most studied diet.

495
00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:22.080
So including things like healthy fats,

496
00:18:22.080 --> 00:18:24.960
like avocados, leafy greens, nuts,

497
00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:27.320
and we're gonna talk about nuts in a little more detail.

498
00:18:27.320 --> 00:18:29.160
These things are super helpful.

499
00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:31.040
And obviously having lean proteins,

500
00:18:31.040 --> 00:18:32.840
having an abundance of fruits,

501
00:18:32.840 --> 00:18:33.880
which we're gonna talk about as well.

502
00:18:33.880 --> 00:18:36.480
There's a study called the Health Professionals Followup Study.

503
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:38.160
They were the 20,000 men.

504
00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:41.640
And they saw that men who adhered to a Mediterranean diet

505
00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:45.840
had a 22% lower risk of erectile dysfunction.

506
00:18:45.840 --> 00:18:48.680
So what specific things in that diet are?

507
00:18:48.680 --> 00:18:51.240
People are like, what are the super foods I need to have?

508
00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:52.800
All men's are great, but pistachios,

509
00:18:52.800 --> 00:18:54.160
they actually do study on pistachios.

510
00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:56.120
They looked at 100 grams of pistachios,

511
00:18:56.120 --> 00:18:58.480
guys at 100 grams of pistachios every day.

512
00:18:58.480 --> 00:19:01.040
And they decreased in erectile dysfunction.

513
00:19:01.040 --> 00:19:03.560
So pistachios nuts will make my penis harder.

514
00:19:04.320 --> 00:19:06.800
So I always say, I don't love to talk about super foods

515
00:19:06.800 --> 00:19:07.640
because then people are like,

516
00:19:07.640 --> 00:19:09.160
oh, I just gotta eat pistachios and it's all good.

517
00:19:09.160 --> 00:19:11.280
It's part of a whole diet.

518
00:19:11.280 --> 00:19:14.600
But certainly having nuts because they have great omega-3s,

519
00:19:14.600 --> 00:19:15.560
they have healthy fats.

520
00:19:15.560 --> 00:19:19.400
These are the reasons that they really sort of improved diet.

521
00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:22.720
Fruit, anything that has sort of flavonoids,

522
00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:26.880
so colorful fruit, blueberry, citrus fruits,

523
00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:28.440
lycopene, which is red fruits,

524
00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:30.720
all of these things improve antioxidants,

525
00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:33.240
and also have been shown to reduce the incidence

526
00:19:33.240 --> 00:19:34.400
of erectile dysfunction.

527
00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:36.960
So having stronger erections, specifically blueberries

528
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:40.280
actually came out to have, I think, something around 20%,

529
00:19:40.280 --> 00:19:42.360
also improvement in erectile function

530
00:19:42.360 --> 00:19:45.000
when you're eating blueberries regularly.

531
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:47.040
So lots of, I think, things in the diet

532
00:19:47.040 --> 00:19:47.880
that can be helpful.

533
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:50.800
Also, fiber is one that we don't talk about enough.

534
00:19:50.800 --> 00:19:52.440
When you eat fiber in your gut,

535
00:19:52.440 --> 00:19:54.280
it converts to short-chain fatty acids.

536
00:19:54.280 --> 00:19:56.040
These short-chain fatty acids

537
00:19:56.040 --> 00:19:59.600
then sort of have these endothelial protective mechanisms.

538
00:19:59.600 --> 00:20:02.400
They protect the blood vessels, they make them healthier.

539
00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:04.120
And so when your blood vessels are healthy,

540
00:20:04.120 --> 00:20:05.600
you get better metabolic health.

541
00:20:05.600 --> 00:20:08.280
So you get less diabetes, less high blood pressure,

542
00:20:08.280 --> 00:20:09.720
less high cholesterol, and these,

543
00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:13.080
all of these things together improve erectile function.

544
00:20:13.080 --> 00:20:16.480
So I think making sure that you meet the criteria

545
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:18.760
for fiber, which is 38 grams for men,

546
00:20:18.760 --> 00:20:22.920
25 grams for women, is really, really important.

547
00:20:22.920 --> 00:20:25.240
And then obviously, managing your calories

548
00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:26.080
in a maintenance, right?

549
00:20:26.080 --> 00:20:27.600
Because we don't want to gain weight

550
00:20:27.600 --> 00:20:29.920
because excess adipose tissue or excess fat

551
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:33.160
also puts you at higher risk for erectile dysfunction

552
00:20:33.160 --> 00:20:34.880
and other sexual dysfunctions.

553
00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:37.840
Next, we have strength.

554
00:20:37.840 --> 00:20:38.360
All right.

555
00:20:40.480 --> 00:20:43.600
So there's strength where we think about cardiovascular

556
00:20:43.600 --> 00:20:46.320
and resistance exercise, but there's also pelvic floor strength.

557
00:20:46.320 --> 00:20:48.920
So we'll start with cardiovascular exercise.

558
00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:50.440
The one study that's quoted very often

559
00:20:50.440 --> 00:20:52.800
is 150 minutes of exercise,

560
00:20:52.800 --> 00:20:55.640
of cardiovascular exercise, moderate intensity.

561
00:20:55.640 --> 00:20:59.360
When you look at the improvement in erectile function scores,

562
00:20:59.360 --> 00:21:01.480
it is the same amount of improvement,

563
00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:04.920
as you would see when you take a medication like Viagra.

564
00:21:04.920 --> 00:21:07.440
So literally, if you do 150 minutes a week,

565
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:09.320
you are getting the same improvement

566
00:21:09.320 --> 00:21:12.120
as you could get with a medication, potentially.

567
00:21:12.120 --> 00:21:13.360
And so I tell people like, look,

568
00:21:13.360 --> 00:21:14.520
if you don't want to take a pill,

569
00:21:14.520 --> 00:21:17.600
this is a great way to improve sexual function.

570
00:21:17.600 --> 00:21:19.560
Now you might say, okay, well,

571
00:21:19.560 --> 00:21:21.400
I, you know, maybe you're listening

572
00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:22.360
and you have heart issues

573
00:21:22.360 --> 00:21:24.200
and you can't really do moderate intensity exercise.

574
00:21:24.200 --> 00:21:25.480
They actually looked at that too.

575
00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:27.160
So there was a group where they looked at men

576
00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:29.200
who had heart disease

577
00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:32.000
and they weren't really able to do moderate intensity exercise.

578
00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:33.360
So they did like a five minute warmup,

579
00:21:33.360 --> 00:21:37.400
they did 20 minutes of walking and five minutes of a cool down.

580
00:21:37.400 --> 00:21:39.120
And with this supervised protocol,

581
00:21:39.120 --> 00:21:42.360
they still improved erectile function by 70%.

582
00:21:42.360 --> 00:21:45.080
So it's all relative to where you're starting,

583
00:21:45.080 --> 00:21:47.480
but any sort of cardiovascular exercise

584
00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:49.200
that's above what you are capable,

585
00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:50.640
like what you're doing now

586
00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:52.760
is going to improve sexual functions,

587
00:21:52.760 --> 00:21:53.920
particularly erectile function

588
00:21:53.920 --> 00:21:56.160
is going to improve blood flow to the genitals,

589
00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:57.600
going to improve blood flow to the penis,

590
00:21:57.600 --> 00:22:00.120
is going to improve blood flow to the clitoris for women.

591
00:22:00.120 --> 00:22:02.000
So that's where cardiovascular exercise

592
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:03.320
is so, so important.

593
00:22:03.320 --> 00:22:04.960
In terms of resistance exercise,

594
00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:08.120
now these little weights are probably not sufficient

595
00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:09.840
for doing much, especially for men

596
00:22:09.840 --> 00:22:12.520
in terms of improving muscular health,

597
00:22:12.520 --> 00:22:13.960
but obviously we're not going to bring like

598
00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:15.720
really heavy weights to the table here.

599
00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:18.800
So one, we know that resistance training

600
00:22:18.800 --> 00:22:21.680
is significantly correlated with testosterone.

601
00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:24.560
So when you do heavy resistance training

602
00:22:24.560 --> 00:22:26.000
of your large muscle group,

603
00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:28.200
so like your lower extremities, your glutes,

604
00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:30.520
you're doing like Olympic deadlift, squats,

605
00:22:30.520 --> 00:22:31.520
that sort of stuff,

606
00:22:31.520 --> 00:22:34.680
you actually see improvement in testosterone.

607
00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:36.320
Now it's not going to be like you do it once

608
00:22:36.320 --> 00:22:37.720
and you get this sustained improvement,

609
00:22:37.720 --> 00:22:40.840
but continuous sort of regular resistance exercise

610
00:22:40.840 --> 00:22:42.520
improves testosterone.

611
00:22:43.480 --> 00:22:45.880
There's also data that shows that when men do

612
00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:48.080
resistance exercise to maintain muscle mass,

613
00:22:48.080 --> 00:22:50.800
so we know that muscle mass decreases

614
00:22:50.800 --> 00:22:54.160
about 7% every decade of life after around 40.

615
00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:56.480
When you maintain it through resistance exercise,

616
00:22:56.480 --> 00:22:58.160
there are three times less likely

617
00:22:58.160 --> 00:22:59.680
to have a reptile dysfunction.

618
00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:00.520
Oh, really?

619
00:23:00.520 --> 00:23:02.200
Yeah, so they maintain a reptile function,

620
00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:03.800
they maintain sexual desire,

621
00:23:03.800 --> 00:23:06.840
they maintain satisfaction with sex.

622
00:23:06.840 --> 00:23:09.800
I read a quote yesterday that said muscle is medicine,

623
00:23:09.800 --> 00:23:11.200
and I thought that's really true.

624
00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.000
Based on everything I've learned

625
00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:15.480
on this podcast around like glucose control

626
00:23:16.320 --> 00:23:17.400
and testosterone,

627
00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:20.480
and now you're telling me about your sex life.

628
00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:21.760
Yeah, it is.

629
00:23:21.760 --> 00:23:23.560
I think people push back because they think

630
00:23:23.560 --> 00:23:25.360
like why should I have to go to the gym,

631
00:23:25.360 --> 00:23:27.120
but our lives have changed.

632
00:23:27.120 --> 00:23:29.920
We sit at a computer or we sit at podcasts

633
00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:31.440
or we sit all the time.

634
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:34.320
We're not moving, we're not doing manual labor,

635
00:23:34.320 --> 00:23:37.400
which is what a lot of our history is, right?

636
00:23:37.400 --> 00:23:39.880
Doing manual labor, farming, doing things outside,

637
00:23:39.880 --> 00:23:42.920
being physical, and we are meant to be physical.

638
00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:44.560
We're meant to lift heavy things,

639
00:23:44.560 --> 00:23:45.840
we're meant to move our bodies,

640
00:23:45.840 --> 00:23:48.120
and we're just doing less and less of it.

641
00:23:48.120 --> 00:23:50.040
So I think it's so important.

642
00:23:50.040 --> 00:23:51.720
The other thing is we want to prevent sarcopenia.

643
00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:54.080
So sarcopenia is muscle loss,

644
00:23:54.080 --> 00:23:56.600
and when you have muscle loss,

645
00:23:56.600 --> 00:24:00.400
that also increases your risk of having sexual dysfunction.

646
00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:01.400
What about the pelvic floor?

647
00:24:01.400 --> 00:24:02.800
Like how does that come into the story of...

648
00:24:02.800 --> 00:24:04.360
Oh yeah, so we missed that part.

649
00:24:04.360 --> 00:24:08.680
So the pelvic floor, here's your pelvis, right?

650
00:24:08.680 --> 00:24:11.280
It's this bony structure where all your organs live.

651
00:24:11.280 --> 00:24:12.360
This is a female.

652
00:24:12.360 --> 00:24:14.920
So I'm taking out the internal structures,

653
00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:17.800
which is the uterus, the rectum, and the bladder.

654
00:24:17.800 --> 00:24:20.840
And so that's what sits inside the pelvis.

655
00:24:20.840 --> 00:24:23.440
And so you can see this bowl of muscles here, right?

656
00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:24.280
Right?

657
00:24:24.280 --> 00:24:25.680
And you can see them from the inside,

658
00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:27.320
and you can see them from the outside.

659
00:24:27.320 --> 00:24:29.600
That's your anus, and in this person, there's a vagina,

660
00:24:29.600 --> 00:24:30.960
so that's the hole for the vagina.

661
00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:33.600
So you can see that your anus and your vagina

662
00:24:33.600 --> 00:24:35.200
run through the pelvic floor,

663
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:37.520
and in men, your penis runs through the pelvic floor.

664
00:24:37.520 --> 00:24:40.440
And so this, let me see, I can show you on this model.

665
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:43.800
You can see, they kind of show you the muscles here

666
00:24:43.800 --> 00:24:45.080
on the side.

667
00:24:45.080 --> 00:24:46.800
So these are your pelvic floor muscles

668
00:24:46.800 --> 00:24:50.400
that are around the penis and the anus.

669
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:51.080
Ah, okay.

670
00:24:51.080 --> 00:24:51.920
Okay.

671
00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:56.520
These structures are very important for a variety of things.

672
00:24:56.520 --> 00:24:58.560
They attach to your bony landmarks here,

673
00:24:58.560 --> 00:25:01.720
your hips, your sacrum, your pubic synthesis,

674
00:25:01.720 --> 00:25:03.920
they attach to all these,

675
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:07.120
and they sort of just work in the background for most people.

676
00:25:07.120 --> 00:25:09.040
How do they affect your sexual function?

677
00:25:09.040 --> 00:25:11.600
Is when you orgasm,

678
00:25:11.600 --> 00:25:14.600
these muscles contract and release

679
00:25:14.600 --> 00:25:17.600
at a rhythmic contraction of 0.8 seconds.

680
00:25:17.600 --> 00:25:18.760
And so you may feel that, right?

681
00:25:18.760 --> 00:25:20.920
There's like this pulsing feeling when you orgasm,

682
00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:22.920
and that's these muscles sort of doing that.

683
00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:26.360
And when men ejaculate, the pelvic floor muscles

684
00:25:26.360 --> 00:25:29.000
are contracting to help shoot the ejaculate out.

685
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:31.440
They squeeze when you need to keep things in,

686
00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:34.520
so they'll keep urine in, they'll keep your stool in,

687
00:25:34.520 --> 00:25:36.360
and they relax when you need to pee in,

688
00:25:36.360 --> 00:25:37.840
when you need to defecate.

689
00:25:37.840 --> 00:25:39.240
So when you try to hold the way,

690
00:25:39.240 --> 00:25:41.040
you're tightening your pelvic floor.

691
00:25:41.040 --> 00:25:42.360
Correct, correct.

692
00:25:42.360 --> 00:25:45.040
But these are also responsive to stress.

693
00:25:45.040 --> 00:25:47.080
So just like people get TMJ,

694
00:25:47.080 --> 00:25:49.000
where they get tense in their jaw,

695
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:50.720
because they are stressed, and they sleep at night,

696
00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:51.720
and they clench up their jaw.

697
00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:53.280
They don't really know they're doing it.

698
00:25:53.280 --> 00:25:54.480
The same thing can happen.

699
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:56.800
These muscles can get very tight,

700
00:25:56.800 --> 00:25:57.880
or they can get misaligned.

701
00:25:57.880 --> 00:26:00.680
So you have a hip injury, or say you have a back injury,

702
00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:03.040
the muscles can compensate by tightening up.

703
00:26:03.040 --> 00:26:06.400
And so a lot of people unknowingly have tension

704
00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:07.320
in these muscles.

705
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:09.800
And it can present in the multiple different ways.

706
00:26:09.800 --> 00:26:11.920
It can present with back pain.

707
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:14.920
It can present with constipation.

708
00:26:14.920 --> 00:26:17.080
It can present with urgency, frequency,

709
00:26:17.080 --> 00:26:20.320
because remember, your bladder is sitting right here

710
00:26:20.320 --> 00:26:21.520
on top of these muscles.

711
00:26:21.520 --> 00:26:25.200
So when the muscles are tense, your bladder is feeling

712
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:27.360
like there's something activating it.

713
00:26:27.360 --> 00:26:28.560
And so it's like, oh man, I got a pee.

714
00:26:28.560 --> 00:26:29.440
That means I have to pee.

715
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:31.640
This tension is telling my bladder I have to pee.

716
00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:33.040
But it's really that your bladder's not that full.

717
00:26:33.040 --> 00:26:35.560
It's that these muscles are telling you to do that.

718
00:26:35.560 --> 00:26:36.960
You can also have trouble peeing,

719
00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:39.320
because you can see that your rethra goes through here.

720
00:26:39.320 --> 00:26:40.720
And if the muscles are really tight,

721
00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:42.480
sometimes it can be difficult to urinate,

722
00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:44.720
because it clenches off the pee.

723
00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:47.200
And then with sex, it can cause pain.

724
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:49.200
If they're really tight, it can prevent blood

725
00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:51.200
from getting to the genital organs.

726
00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:54.240
So for men, they can have erectile dysfunction.

727
00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:57.440
For women, they can have difficulty getting orgasms,

728
00:26:57.440 --> 00:26:58.880
or difficulty getting arousal,

729
00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:01.560
because they're not getting blood flow to the clitoris.

730
00:27:01.560 --> 00:27:05.040
Sometimes it can also cause premature ejaculation in men.

731
00:27:05.320 --> 00:27:07.480
And so these muscles are so important.

732
00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:09.160
And all we hear about is kegels.

733
00:27:09.160 --> 00:27:12.160
And kegels are exercises to strengthen these muscles.

734
00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:15.600
But kegels are good when you have a normal pelvic floor,

735
00:27:15.600 --> 00:27:17.200
meaning like there's no tension.

736
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:18.040
It's completely normal.

737
00:27:18.040 --> 00:27:18.880
It's acting normal.

738
00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:20.680
You're not having any symptoms at all.

739
00:27:20.680 --> 00:27:22.760
But if you have any of the symptoms I talked about,

740
00:27:22.760 --> 00:27:24.240
doing kegels might make it worse,

741
00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:27.360
because you're now tightening muscles that are already tight.

742
00:27:27.360 --> 00:27:29.840
We also talk about pelvic floor relaxation,

743
00:27:29.840 --> 00:27:33.400
doing exercises to specifically relax these muscles.

744
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:36.320
So that can be diaphragmatic breathing.

745
00:27:36.320 --> 00:27:39.440
That can be doing like a figure four stretch.

746
00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:42.720
That can be doing happy baby pose, which are yoga poses,

747
00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:43.960
or child's pose.

748
00:27:43.960 --> 00:27:46.920
All these things can sort of stretch and lengthen these muscles

749
00:27:46.920 --> 00:27:49.120
so they can learn to relax again.

750
00:27:49.120 --> 00:27:50.440
Now when it's really bad,

751
00:27:50.440 --> 00:27:52.760
you have to go see a pelvic floor physical therapist

752
00:27:52.760 --> 00:27:54.200
who can really work with you and if I

753
00:27:54.200 --> 00:27:56.360
which of the muscles are maybe more dysfunctional

754
00:27:56.360 --> 00:27:59.400
and maybe work specifically on those.

755
00:27:59.400 --> 00:28:00.760
But I think it's so important,

756
00:28:00.760 --> 00:28:03.520
it's under evaluated and under discussed

757
00:28:03.520 --> 00:28:04.880
when it comes to sexual function.

758
00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:09.280
It's a hugely important part of sexual function.

759
00:28:09.280 --> 00:28:12.600
How many people are struggling with these issues,

760
00:28:12.600 --> 00:28:15.840
specifically like erectile dysfunction issues?

761
00:28:15.840 --> 00:28:16.880
And what age are they?

762
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:18.840
Yeah, so it starts early.

763
00:28:18.840 --> 00:28:21.040
I think there's always been a sort of a disconnect,

764
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:22.640
where we think young guys don't have this,

765
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:24.400
or if they have it, it's all in their head.

766
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:25.640
That's not necessarily true.

767
00:28:25.640 --> 00:28:28.640
Many young men do develop erectile dysfunction

768
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:31.200
because of biologic factors,

769
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:33.480
but the data is really robust and older guys.

770
00:28:33.480 --> 00:28:35.760
So above the age of 50,

771
00:28:35.760 --> 00:28:39.240
we see 52% of men having erectile dysfunction,

772
00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:40.080
which is half.

773
00:28:40.080 --> 00:28:41.640
52% of men.

774
00:28:41.640 --> 00:28:44.000
And it goes up 10% every decade.

775
00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:47.280
So 60% of 60 year olds, 70% of 70 year olds.

776
00:28:47.280 --> 00:28:50.040
So erectile dysfunction continues to worsen.

777
00:28:50.040 --> 00:28:52.840
This happens because one,

778
00:28:52.840 --> 00:28:55.160
our blood vessels get older, they get stiffer,

779
00:28:55.160 --> 00:28:57.040
they're not functioning as well as they should.

780
00:28:57.240 --> 00:28:59.880
And we're seeing also a rise in all these other

781
00:28:59.880 --> 00:29:02.520
comorbid conditions, like diabetes, cholesterol,

782
00:29:02.520 --> 00:29:04.160
high blood pressure, all these affect

783
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:05.960
how healthy your blood vessels are.

784
00:29:05.960 --> 00:29:09.600
And so with these, they see the problem in their penis,

785
00:29:09.600 --> 00:29:11.680
or in women's case in their clitoris,

786
00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:14.640
before they see heart disease or strokes

787
00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:16.760
or brain issues or dementia.

788
00:29:16.760 --> 00:29:17.840
I think this is worth posing on,

789
00:29:17.840 --> 00:29:21.520
which is a erectile dysfunction problem

790
00:29:21.520 --> 00:29:25.760
is often a symptom of a cardiovascular issue, right?

791
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:27.720
We call it a canary in a coal mine.

792
00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:30.720
So it is like telling you that something bad is coming.

793
00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:33.280
So the data would support that when you have

794
00:29:33.280 --> 00:29:34.560
a erectile dysfunction,

795
00:29:34.560 --> 00:29:36.880
if it's because of an organic reason, right,

796
00:29:36.880 --> 00:29:37.800
not psychogenic,

797
00:29:37.800 --> 00:29:40.520
but most people I think have a combination of both,

798
00:29:40.520 --> 00:29:42.400
that within three to five years,

799
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:45.440
you will start developing issues with your heart.

800
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:48.120
And so it precedes those issues.

801
00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:51.600
And if seven years later, 14% of those guys

802
00:29:51.600 --> 00:29:53.600
will have a heart attack.

803
00:29:53.600 --> 00:29:55.600
And so it's really an opportunity.

804
00:29:55.600 --> 00:29:59.440
Sexual problems are an opportunity to look inside

805
00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:01.800
to figure out what's going on and to investigate

806
00:30:01.800 --> 00:30:03.200
and to change your life.

807
00:30:03.200 --> 00:30:05.000
And when you say erectile dysfunction,

808
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:06.880
we should probably define what that means,

809
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:07.800
because there's gonna be a lot of guys

810
00:30:07.800 --> 00:30:09.040
that at home now thinking, oh my God,

811
00:30:09.040 --> 00:30:11.400
like my penis is a bit softer than usual.

812
00:30:11.400 --> 00:30:14.480
Yeah, so erectile dysfunction is defined

813
00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:16.920
as the inability to maintain an erection

814
00:30:16.920 --> 00:30:18.960
that's sufficient for intercourse.

815
00:30:18.960 --> 00:30:21.000
So you can get an erection,

816
00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:24.360
but it goes away before you ejaculate or climax.

817
00:30:24.360 --> 00:30:25.200
And so that's typically,

818
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:27.000
I think it's really important to differentiate that

819
00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:29.400
from something like premature ejaculation,

820
00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:31.440
where you climax too soon.

821
00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:34.800
So you ejaculate before you want to,

822
00:30:34.800 --> 00:30:36.360
but that doesn't mean that you have a problem

823
00:30:36.360 --> 00:30:37.280
maintaining your erection.

824
00:30:37.280 --> 00:30:39.480
That's a whole different process.

825
00:30:39.480 --> 00:30:40.560
I've got a friend,

826
00:30:40.560 --> 00:30:41.840
people are gonna think I'm talking about myself,

827
00:30:41.840 --> 00:30:42.840
because I use that phrase a lot.

828
00:30:42.840 --> 00:30:43.680
I've got a friend.

829
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:46.280
He's, he's almost 40 years old.

830
00:30:46.280 --> 00:30:50.120
And I've heard him say on several occasions

831
00:30:50.120 --> 00:30:52.600
that he's lost his erection during sex.

832
00:30:52.600 --> 00:30:54.240
Is that a erectile dysfunction?

833
00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:58.280
But what if he can keep his erection but watching porn?

834
00:30:58.280 --> 00:31:00.480
Well, so that's more multifactorial, right?

835
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:02.760
So I think if you lose it once or twice, right?

836
00:31:02.760 --> 00:31:04.040
Most guys will have an issue

837
00:31:04.040 --> 00:31:05.800
where they lose an erection at some point in their life.

838
00:31:05.800 --> 00:31:08.320
I think the important thing is not to catastrophize.

839
00:31:08.320 --> 00:31:10.680
It's a problem when it becomes a routine.

840
00:31:10.680 --> 00:31:12.560
Now, if someone is telling me,

841
00:31:12.560 --> 00:31:15.200
hey, I can watch porn and maintain my erection,

842
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:16.200
but I can't with a partner,

843
00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:18.080
there's multiple different reasons for that

844
00:31:18.080 --> 00:31:19.600
that could be at play.

845
00:31:19.600 --> 00:31:21.200
One is that there's no pressure, right?

846
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:23.080
You're by yourself, you're watching porn,

847
00:31:23.080 --> 00:31:24.720
there's no pressure of performance,

848
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:26.040
there's no anxiety of performance.

849
00:31:26.040 --> 00:31:27.920
So that may be part of it.

850
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.320
Other thing may be that that level of arousal

851
00:31:30.320 --> 00:31:31.720
that you're getting from porn,

852
00:31:31.720 --> 00:31:33.920
if you're watching, like let's say the same kind of porn

853
00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:36.560
every time, you're masturbating the same way every time,

854
00:31:36.560 --> 00:31:39.480
maybe using a firm grip or some people will masturbate

855
00:31:39.480 --> 00:31:44.480
like facing the bed or, you know, against hard objects.

856
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:46.720
And so that gets hard objects.

857
00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:49.320
Yeah, like the, their fist or something.

858
00:31:49.320 --> 00:31:53.440
And so that can't be replicated by a person, right?

859
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:55.320
You can't replicate those behaviors

860
00:31:55.320 --> 00:31:57.640
by a vagina or a mouth.

861
00:31:57.640 --> 00:32:00.920
If you become habituated to a certain thing

862
00:32:00.920 --> 00:32:02.320
that turns you on,

863
00:32:02.320 --> 00:32:04.680
and that's the only thing that really gets you going,

864
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:07.000
and that's something that you can't really get

865
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:08.160
with your partner,

866
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:10.720
then it will be difficult to reach the level of arousal

867
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:12.400
that you need to get an erection.

868
00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:13.720
Okay, so two questions then.

869
00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:16.960
So that doesn't count as erectile dysfunction

870
00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:19.000
if you can get an erection watching porn

871
00:32:19.080 --> 00:32:20.040
or can't get it with your partner.

872
00:32:20.040 --> 00:32:21.280
Yeah, it may or may not be.

873
00:32:21.280 --> 00:32:23.840
So if you wake up with your morning erection,

874
00:32:23.840 --> 00:32:24.680
that's great.

875
00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:27.200
That's a sign that's when there's nothing else at play, right?

876
00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:29.840
You are just, that tells me that your body's functioning well.

877
00:32:29.840 --> 00:32:32.600
You've got good bud flow, good, good hormones working,

878
00:32:32.600 --> 00:32:33.880
got a good amount of testosterone,

879
00:32:33.880 --> 00:32:35.680
and your nerves are working well

880
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:37.600
and you're getting a good morning erection.

881
00:32:37.600 --> 00:32:40.840
Now morning erections or nighttime erections are normal

882
00:32:40.840 --> 00:32:41.760
and they're healthy.

883
00:32:41.760 --> 00:32:43.800
So when you're a young boy,

884
00:32:43.800 --> 00:32:46.800
you get actually like erections three to five times a night

885
00:32:46.800 --> 00:32:48.880
and they can last up to 40 minutes long.

886
00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:51.960
So you can spend a lot of your night with erection.

887
00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:54.000
When you get older, like in your 40s,

888
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:55.800
that drops to about half the time.

889
00:32:55.800 --> 00:32:57.360
So maybe erections are a little shorter,

890
00:32:57.360 --> 00:32:59.440
that they may be maxed out at 30 minutes

891
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:00.800
but sometimes they're shorter.

892
00:33:00.800 --> 00:33:02.760
You should still be getting three to five erections a night.

893
00:33:02.760 --> 00:33:04.040
You won't know all of these,

894
00:33:04.040 --> 00:33:06.160
but typically you wake up with a morning erection.

895
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:07.920
And so if you're not getting morning erections,

896
00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:09.400
that tells me that hey,

897
00:33:09.400 --> 00:33:12.000
there's something going on that we should address.

898
00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:14.520
And on your other point about how you masturbate

899
00:33:14.520 --> 00:33:16.360
impacting your sex life,

900
00:33:16.360 --> 00:33:18.720
I mentioned that applies to men and women.

901
00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:19.560
Absolutely.

902
00:33:19.560 --> 00:33:21.840
And are you saying that if there's a particular way

903
00:33:21.840 --> 00:33:24.760
you get yourself off in private,

904
00:33:24.760 --> 00:33:26.800
that is very hard for the other person to replicate.

905
00:33:26.800 --> 00:33:29.160
You might become desensitized to rest.

906
00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:30.520
You might just get habituated.

907
00:33:30.520 --> 00:33:31.880
I don't think desensitized,

908
00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:33.720
but habituated is like you might just,

909
00:33:33.720 --> 00:33:35.800
your body just might respond really well

910
00:33:35.800 --> 00:33:37.720
to that particular stimulation.

911
00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:39.560
Now that's not inherently a bad thing, right?

912
00:33:39.560 --> 00:33:41.520
If that's what gets you off

913
00:33:41.520 --> 00:33:42.440
and you and your partner,

914
00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:44.640
okay, with you doing that together, right?

915
00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:46.560
You may mutually masturbate together

916
00:33:46.560 --> 00:33:48.680
and that's fun for you and you guys enjoy it.

917
00:33:48.720 --> 00:33:49.840
There's no problem with it.

918
00:33:49.840 --> 00:33:51.840
It's just knowing what's going on, right?

919
00:33:51.840 --> 00:33:52.840
And sort of deciding like,

920
00:33:52.840 --> 00:33:54.200
okay, if this is a problem,

921
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:57.200
let me try to diversify what I do

922
00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.560
during my solo sex periods.

923
00:33:58.560 --> 00:33:59.760
So let me take a little break

924
00:33:59.760 --> 00:34:01.640
and kind of try something,

925
00:34:01.640 --> 00:34:03.880
you know, just not masturbate for a little while

926
00:34:03.880 --> 00:34:05.240
and come back to it later.

927
00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:07.080
The fact that we get an erection in the morning,

928
00:34:07.080 --> 00:34:09.080
does that mean that we're supposed to have sex

929
00:34:09.080 --> 00:34:11.200
in the morning from like an evolutionary perspective?

930
00:34:11.200 --> 00:34:12.040
Not necessarily.

931
00:34:12.040 --> 00:34:14.560
It's just it's the way your body releases testosterone

932
00:34:14.560 --> 00:34:16.120
is one of the reasons this happens.

933
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:19.600
Over night, your body is making more testosterone.

934
00:34:19.600 --> 00:34:21.320
That's when your body sort of has

935
00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:22.800
an internal testosterone production

936
00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:24.880
and so it's highest in the morning,

937
00:34:24.880 --> 00:34:27.640
which is why very often you get a morning erection.

938
00:34:27.640 --> 00:34:30.120
And, you know, it just means that some people

939
00:34:30.120 --> 00:34:32.360
will have more desire also in the morning

940
00:34:32.360 --> 00:34:34.920
because testosterone is a hormone of desire.

941
00:34:34.920 --> 00:34:36.520
Is it the same for women?

942
00:34:36.520 --> 00:34:40.360
Yeah, so women also have nocturnal,

943
00:34:40.360 --> 00:34:42.960
clitoral tumors, same sort of pattern

944
00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:45.600
and they won't necessarily know it, right?

945
00:34:45.600 --> 00:34:47.280
Because they can't visualize it,

946
00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:49.240
but you know, you can some women wait,

947
00:34:49.240 --> 00:34:51.280
no sort of feel that pelvic congestion

948
00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:53.000
or like feeling that there's a bunch of like

949
00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:55.440
blood flow in the area, but most will not.

950
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:57.880
And that's okay, but your body protects itself.

951
00:34:57.880 --> 00:34:59.920
So you've heard the term used or lose it, right?

952
00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:02.120
People are like, your body's protecting itself.

953
00:35:02.120 --> 00:35:03.480
You don't have to have sex.

954
00:35:03.480 --> 00:35:06.400
If your body is healthy, it will do this all night

955
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:08.280
to keep your genitals healthy.

956
00:35:08.280 --> 00:35:10.440
It will make sure that your genitals are getting blood flow

957
00:35:10.440 --> 00:35:12.360
even if you're not having sex.

958
00:35:12.360 --> 00:35:15.640
But if you stop having those nighttime erections,

959
00:35:15.640 --> 00:35:18.040
now it becomes more of a problem

960
00:35:18.040 --> 00:35:21.000
because over time, say you stop having erections

961
00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:24.600
or clitoral tumors for months, years, right?

962
00:35:24.600 --> 00:35:27.480
And then there's no blood flow to those areas.

963
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:30.440
Over time, and actually I can show you here,

964
00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:35.440
this is a pelvic model and here this purple thing here

965
00:35:35.640 --> 00:35:37.280
is called the corporate cavernosa.

966
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:40.240
And this is like a really nice spongy tissue

967
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:42.840
that fills with blood and when it fills with blood

968
00:35:42.840 --> 00:35:46.520
it expands and lengthens and then the blood stays there

969
00:35:46.520 --> 00:35:48.560
until you're done with your stimulation

970
00:35:48.560 --> 00:35:49.640
and then it goes back.

971
00:35:49.640 --> 00:35:52.480
And so if there's no healthy, fresh blood

972
00:35:52.480 --> 00:35:55.040
getting to the penis on a regular basis,

973
00:35:55.040 --> 00:35:56.520
either through nighttime erections

974
00:35:56.520 --> 00:35:58.120
or through sex with your partner,

975
00:35:58.120 --> 00:36:00.960
then you will get fibrosis of these tissues.

976
00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:03.280
That means there's a little scar in the tissues.

977
00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:07.280
And then over time, you might see some shrinkage of the penis.

978
00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:09.560
And so it is really important to maintain

979
00:36:09.600 --> 00:36:11.440
that also good health of these tissues.

980
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:14.000
And the same goes for women with their clitoris

981
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:15.360
because it's the same type of tissue.

982
00:36:15.360 --> 00:36:17.160
In fact, if you look at the clitoris,

983
00:36:17.160 --> 00:36:19.360
it is, this is the part that you see.

984
00:36:19.360 --> 00:36:21.160
We don't have a clitoris, do we?

985
00:36:21.160 --> 00:36:22.440
Is it that one there?

986
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:23.480
This is a uterus.

987
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:26.000
Perfect.

988
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:31.000
So you're going to keep that in.

989
00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:33.000
So yeah, I'll show you here.

990
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:34.000
There's this couple.

991
00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:34.840
Is it she told me?

992
00:36:34.840 --> 00:36:36.360
Is it crazy?

993
00:36:36.360 --> 00:36:37.360
Okay, yeah, this is good.

994
00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:38.200
This is good.

995
00:36:38.200 --> 00:36:40.360
They told me it was a clitoris.

996
00:36:44.040 --> 00:36:45.960
That's a little, that's a, yeah.

997
00:36:45.960 --> 00:36:46.960
Okay.

998
00:36:48.040 --> 00:36:49.560
Very touching.

999
00:36:50.560 --> 00:36:51.680
You're not going to live that one now.

1000
00:36:51.680 --> 00:36:53.800
You asked the team where the clitoris was.

1001
00:36:53.800 --> 00:36:56.280
Did you ask the team where the clitoris was?

1002
00:36:56.280 --> 00:36:58.640
Well, I'm worried about the said that too.

1003
00:36:58.640 --> 00:37:03.240
Okay, so let's talk about the female anatomy.

1004
00:37:03.240 --> 00:37:04.800
This is a pelvic model.

1005
00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:07.320
And here, you can see this is the vagina.

1006
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.760
This is the urethra where you pee from.

1007
00:37:09.760 --> 00:37:12.000
This is your labia manora.

1008
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:13.440
And you can't see the labia manora,

1009
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:14.480
but they would be out here, right?

1010
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:16.040
So interlips, outer lips.

1011
00:37:16.040 --> 00:37:19.720
Now, this up here is your clitoral glands.

1012
00:37:19.720 --> 00:37:22.320
So it's the same as the glands of the penis.

1013
00:37:22.320 --> 00:37:24.320
And so this is all you see, right?

1014
00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:26.560
It also has a little covering, which you can't see here.

1015
00:37:26.560 --> 00:37:29.480
Just like men have foreskin, women have a clitoral hood

1016
00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:32.120
that covers the head of the clitoris.

1017
00:37:32.120 --> 00:37:35.040
And so when you look at the clitoris on the inside,

1018
00:37:35.040 --> 00:37:36.720
which we can't see perfectly here,

1019
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:38.760
but I'm gonna just take this up.

1020
00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:42.280
It actually goes all the way back like this.

1021
00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:45.520
So if you were to feel from the vaginal side,

1022
00:37:45.520 --> 00:37:47.600
it would be at the very top of the vagina

1023
00:37:47.600 --> 00:37:49.000
going all the way back.

1024
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:52.840
These are the, these blue things are the clitoral bulbs here.

1025
00:37:54.120 --> 00:37:57.920
And these are the legs of the clitoris here on the side.

1026
00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:02.160
And so this is essentially the homologue of the penis.

1027
00:38:02.160 --> 00:38:06.080
So if I take the penis, we don't have a like a full model here.

1028
00:38:06.080 --> 00:38:07.080
Which homologues mean?

1029
00:38:07.080 --> 00:38:09.200
So homologues means that they're essentially

1030
00:38:09.200 --> 00:38:12.280
the same structure, they're made from the same cells,

1031
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:14.160
but they're in the male and the female.

1032
00:38:14.160 --> 00:38:17.760
So here you can see this is, if this is your penis,

1033
00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:19.760
this is what you see up to here, this is the bone,

1034
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:21.440
this is your fat up here.

1035
00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:24.720
And then here it goes deep into the pelvis.

1036
00:38:24.720 --> 00:38:26.880
And so here's your testicles, right?

1037
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:29.960
And so below the testicles, this area of the perineum,

1038
00:38:29.960 --> 00:38:33.880
you also have penaltissue sort of that you can palpate

1039
00:38:33.880 --> 00:38:36.600
from this side on that's coming all the way down.

1040
00:38:36.600 --> 00:38:38.120
And if you had sort of a 3D model,

1041
00:38:38.120 --> 00:38:40.400
you'd see that it forks out just like the clitoris does.

1042
00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:44.400
So does clitorial stimulation feel like

1043
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:46.680
stimulating someone's tip of that penis?

1044
00:38:46.680 --> 00:38:47.520
Exactly.

1045
00:38:47.520 --> 00:38:49.840
And so you could think if someone just stimulated

1046
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:54.360
the head of the penis, it would be fine, it would be nice,

1047
00:38:54.360 --> 00:38:56.280
but it's probably better if you stimulate

1048
00:38:56.280 --> 00:38:58.760
more of the clitoris or more of the penis.

1049
00:38:58.760 --> 00:39:01.240
That's why you could stimulate obviously the external,

1050
00:39:01.240 --> 00:39:03.600
the clitoris, but you could also stimulate from the inside.

1051
00:39:03.600 --> 00:39:07.080
And some people are more responsive to that than others.

1052
00:39:07.080 --> 00:39:10.240
What you hear of is like the G spot or the G zone, right?

1053
00:39:10.240 --> 00:39:13.840
And the G spot or G zone is if you were to go

1054
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:15.880
in the inside of the vagina at the top side,

1055
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:17.120
which I can't really stick this in here,

1056
00:39:17.120 --> 00:39:20.160
but it would be about two centimeters in at the top.

1057
00:39:20.160 --> 00:39:23.120
And that's because that's an area where there's a lot of nerves

1058
00:39:23.120 --> 00:39:24.000
endings.

1059
00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:26.360
One, you can palpate the clitoris basically

1060
00:39:26.360 --> 00:39:28.160
throughout the entire anterior wall,

1061
00:39:28.160 --> 00:39:29.960
but also there's the skin's glands

1062
00:39:29.960 --> 00:39:32.720
with these glands that sit underneath the urethra.

1063
00:39:32.720 --> 00:39:35.640
And they're the homolog of the male prostate.

1064
00:39:35.640 --> 00:39:38.480
And so they're right there and then the vagina is there.

1065
00:39:38.480 --> 00:39:42.240
And so that's an area that can be very enjoyable to stimulate.

1066
00:39:42.240 --> 00:39:44.760
It's not necessarily always going to lead to orgasm

1067
00:39:44.760 --> 00:39:47.760
because some people have different sort of distance

1068
00:39:47.760 --> 00:39:51.040
between the clitoral body and the vagina.

1069
00:39:51.040 --> 00:39:54.160
So some people of less distance may feel it better

1070
00:39:54.160 --> 00:39:55.560
than some that don't.

1071
00:39:55.560 --> 00:39:59.320
But ultimately, that's why that area is so sensitive

1072
00:39:59.320 --> 00:40:00.160
for many women.

1073
00:40:00.160 --> 00:40:01.920
On this point of mourning erections,

1074
00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:04.560
I was thinking much of the reason why

1075
00:40:04.560 --> 00:40:06.920
I've always been cautious of having sex in the morning

1076
00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:09.280
or even masturbating in the morning or anything like that,

1077
00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:11.880
is I'm worried that it will cause a dopamine crash,

1078
00:40:11.880 --> 00:40:14.320
which will make me feel lazy and lethargic.

1079
00:40:14.320 --> 00:40:17.200
Well, so when you think about what happens during an orgasm

1080
00:40:17.200 --> 00:40:19.800
is you have this release of dopamine

1081
00:40:19.800 --> 00:40:23.960
and then your prolactin goes up and sort of like everything

1082
00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:24.840
comes down.

1083
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:27.920
Now some people feel a sense of clarity.

1084
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:29.360
They call it post-nut clarity, right?

1085
00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:31.640
They feel clear, they feel like motivated to do stuff,

1086
00:40:31.640 --> 00:40:34.040
they feel excited to go do something else

1087
00:40:34.040 --> 00:40:35.800
and they sort of move on from what they're doing.

1088
00:40:35.800 --> 00:40:38.320
There's some people who feel post-coital dysphoria.

1089
00:40:38.320 --> 00:40:40.600
They actually feel sad or they feel depressed

1090
00:40:40.600 --> 00:40:41.960
after the orgasm.

1091
00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:44.360
And we don't know exactly why this happens,

1092
00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:46.800
but it is because of this dramatic change

1093
00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:50.120
in sort of neurochemical signaling in the brain.

1094
00:40:50.120 --> 00:40:52.760
And for those people who have it, it can be days

1095
00:40:52.760 --> 00:40:54.960
where they sort of like feel bad.

1096
00:40:54.960 --> 00:40:56.760
It can be hours where they feel sad.

1097
00:40:56.760 --> 00:40:58.840
And so it can be really traumatic.

1098
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:02.480
So pillar two, what's pillar two of the four pillars

1099
00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:03.320
of men's sexual health?

1100
00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:04.360
We talked about strength.

1101
00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:07.120
Okay, so we did strength, we did fuel.

1102
00:41:07.120 --> 00:41:07.960
What's pillar three?

1103
00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:09.200
pillar three is environment.

1104
00:41:09.200 --> 00:41:12.120
So we can start with the easy stuff and that's stress, right?

1105
00:41:12.120 --> 00:41:15.120
Everyone knows stress is bad, but I think the thing is,

1106
00:41:15.120 --> 00:41:17.400
people just think like, I'll just deal with it.

1107
00:41:17.400 --> 00:41:20.120
Everyone's stressed, like what's normal to be stressed?

1108
00:41:20.120 --> 00:41:22.400
If you are chronically stressed,

1109
00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:25.480
that means your cortisol is raised all the time,

1110
00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:27.840
which is dampening your testosterone,

1111
00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:30.080
which is also keeping you in the sympathetic state

1112
00:41:30.080 --> 00:41:33.160
and you just cannot get in your mind space

1113
00:41:33.160 --> 00:41:37.840
and in the nervous system place to actually have sex.

1114
00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:39.160
So that's super important.

1115
00:41:39.160 --> 00:41:41.200
And I think, you know, there's lots of different ways

1116
00:41:41.200 --> 00:41:42.760
to alleviate stress.

1117
00:41:42.760 --> 00:41:44.840
You got to figure out what works for you.

1118
00:41:44.840 --> 00:41:47.960
For some people using a stress ball even just at work.

1119
00:41:47.960 --> 00:41:48.800
And I think part of it,

1120
00:41:48.800 --> 00:41:50.760
you can actually incorporate some intimacy.

1121
00:41:50.760 --> 00:41:51.840
There's some evidence, you know,

1122
00:41:51.840 --> 00:41:53.720
the governments have been on your podcast

1123
00:41:53.720 --> 00:41:55.960
doing a 20 second hug.

1124
00:41:55.960 --> 00:41:58.480
So standing with your partner or loved one

1125
00:41:58.480 --> 00:42:01.520
and hugging for 20 seconds on your own,

1126
00:42:01.520 --> 00:42:03.640
like independent gravity,

1127
00:42:03.640 --> 00:42:07.000
actually helps alleviate stress and break sort of a stress loop

1128
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:09.880
doing a six second kiss with your partner.

1129
00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:12.160
And so it seems like six seconds no big deal,

1130
00:42:12.160 --> 00:42:13.160
but actually if you time it,

1131
00:42:13.160 --> 00:42:14.560
it's like, if I'm just doing a kiss

1132
00:42:14.560 --> 00:42:15.800
and I'm not like actually,

1133
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:17.600
it's a little bit longer than normal.

1134
00:42:17.600 --> 00:42:20.920
And so these sort of small things can help alleviate stress.

1135
00:42:20.920 --> 00:42:23.000
Any type of movement can be really beneficial.

1136
00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:24.000
The other term is great.

1137
00:42:24.840 --> 00:42:27.960
The other thing is just having interactions with people.

1138
00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:29.800
And so that's where we're becoming more isolated,

1139
00:42:29.800 --> 00:42:31.680
but even just talking to the barista

1140
00:42:31.680 --> 00:42:34.360
or talking to someone at the grocery store.

1141
00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:37.160
This again tells your brain that you're in a safe space

1142
00:42:37.160 --> 00:42:38.040
like you're talking to someone

1143
00:42:38.040 --> 00:42:41.000
you're having a normal social interaction.

1144
00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:42.480
So, and then being creative.

1145
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:45.240
And we've been trying to work on this with our kids

1146
00:42:45.240 --> 00:42:47.720
because there's so much external stimuli all the time,

1147
00:42:47.720 --> 00:42:49.000
right, they want to play video games,

1148
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:51.320
they want to watch TV, they want to play sports,

1149
00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:53.400
but we want them to be bored and be creative.

1150
00:42:53.400 --> 00:42:56.840
Like come up with creative ideas to keep themselves

1151
00:42:56.840 --> 00:42:59.160
interested and engaged in a different way.

1152
00:42:59.160 --> 00:43:01.680
So I think that's so, so important.

1153
00:43:01.680 --> 00:43:03.760
And outside of stress, sleep,

1154
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:06.880
sleep is there's just so much abundance of data

1155
00:43:06.880 --> 00:43:08.920
on how sleep affects hormonal health.

1156
00:43:08.920 --> 00:43:11.400
They looked at data on men sleeping five hours a night

1157
00:43:11.400 --> 00:43:12.920
versus eight hours a night.

1158
00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.040
So you take the same guy and you sleep eight hours

1159
00:43:15.040 --> 00:43:18.200
and you do five hours for a little few days.

1160
00:43:18.200 --> 00:43:21.920
His test for a week, his testosterone drops by 15%.

1161
00:43:21.920 --> 00:43:23.960
That's like as much testosterone drop

1162
00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:26.440
as would happen with 10 years of life.

1163
00:43:26.440 --> 00:43:28.280
And do you know how long they did that for?

1164
00:43:28.280 --> 00:43:29.480
It was short, it was a go week.

1165
00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:34.280
So a week of sleep deprivation will tank your testosterone.

1166
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:37.120
And sleep apnea is another one that I think people,

1167
00:43:37.120 --> 00:43:38.360
one, don't realize they have

1168
00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:40.080
and two, don't realize that fixing it

1169
00:43:40.080 --> 00:43:41.960
could actually improve their hormonal health.

1170
00:43:41.960 --> 00:43:43.760
Wait, so does this mean that people who have

1171
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:46.760
chronically bad sleep probably have low testosterone?

1172
00:43:46.760 --> 00:43:47.600
Probably, yeah.

1173
00:43:47.600 --> 00:43:50.240
And what is the symptoms of low testosterone?

1174
00:43:50.240 --> 00:43:53.320
So low testosterone is, they're sometimes very vague.

1175
00:43:53.320 --> 00:43:56.200
So it can be fatigue, it can be brain fog,

1176
00:43:56.200 --> 00:43:59.920
it can be depression, it can be low desire,

1177
00:43:59.920 --> 00:44:01.280
it can be erectile dysfunction.

1178
00:44:01.280 --> 00:44:02.480
That's what people always think.

1179
00:44:02.480 --> 00:44:03.640
It's just erectile dysfunction,

1180
00:44:03.640 --> 00:44:05.760
but it's this whole constellation of symptoms.

1181
00:44:05.760 --> 00:44:09.200
It can also be increased fat mass, decreased muscle mass.

1182
00:44:09.200 --> 00:44:10.800
So all of these things can happen

1183
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:13.360
because we have testosterone receptors all over our body.

1184
00:44:13.360 --> 00:44:15.320
We have them in our brain, we have them in our muscle,

1185
00:44:15.320 --> 00:44:17.000
we have them in our bone.

1186
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:20.040
And these can all have really serious consequences.

1187
00:44:20.040 --> 00:44:22.200
When it's low, when you have sleep apnea

1188
00:44:22.200 --> 00:44:23.680
and how you know you have sleep apnea,

1189
00:44:23.680 --> 00:44:25.920
your partner might tell you that you're waking up

1190
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:28.160
and you're not gasping for air.

1191
00:44:28.160 --> 00:44:30.400
If you have one really easy way to check

1192
00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:32.280
is take a measuring tape

1193
00:44:32.280 --> 00:44:34.120
and measure your necks or comforts.

1194
00:44:34.120 --> 00:44:36.600
If it's more than 17 inches for a guy

1195
00:44:36.600 --> 00:44:39.600
or 16 inches for a female, it means it's very likely

1196
00:44:39.600 --> 00:44:41.960
that you may have sleep apnea.

1197
00:44:41.960 --> 00:44:43.920
And that's because when you have excess mass

1198
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:46.240
basically here, it's compressing your airway

1199
00:44:46.280 --> 00:44:50.640
and can make it difficult to get air into your body.

1200
00:44:50.640 --> 00:44:52.360
When you improve sleep apnea,

1201
00:44:52.360 --> 00:44:53.760
we've seen improvements in testosterone's

1202
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:55.960
highest 200 nanograms for desolate.

1203
00:44:55.960 --> 00:45:00.600
So huge jumps in testosterone after fixing sleep apnea.

1204
00:45:00.600 --> 00:45:02.320
And the same goes for other sleep disorders,

1205
00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:04.960
although the data is not as abundant,

1206
00:45:04.960 --> 00:45:06.880
but sleep is so important.

1207
00:45:06.880 --> 00:45:08.800
Then we talk about what's in your environment.

1208
00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:10.920
So let's talk about this.

1209
00:45:10.920 --> 00:45:14.760
Okay, so you get a bottle of water.

1210
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:16.520
So many of my patients actually,

1211
00:45:16.520 --> 00:45:19.320
they only buy like cases of plastic bottled water.

1212
00:45:19.320 --> 00:45:21.280
Once in a while, a plastic bottle of water

1213
00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:22.760
like don't stress yourself out.

1214
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:23.760
This goes back to stress.

1215
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:24.800
People get really stressed out.

1216
00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:26.080
What's in my environment?

1217
00:45:26.080 --> 00:45:26.920
What am I drinking?

1218
00:45:26.920 --> 00:45:27.960
What am I eating?

1219
00:45:27.960 --> 00:45:29.880
Like do what you can control?

1220
00:45:29.880 --> 00:45:33.600
So plastic bottle bottles have things like phallates

1221
00:45:33.600 --> 00:45:36.520
and BPAs which can affect hormonal health.

1222
00:45:36.520 --> 00:45:38.360
They can mimic estrogen.

1223
00:45:38.360 --> 00:45:41.800
They can reduce the production of testosterone

1224
00:45:41.800 --> 00:45:43.360
based on these mechanisms.

1225
00:45:43.360 --> 00:45:46.960
Also things like plastics in the environment, PFAS,

1226
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:48.920
so those things like nonstick cookware,

1227
00:45:48.920 --> 00:45:51.080
all those things can affect hormone health.

1228
00:45:51.080 --> 00:45:53.560
Now, how do you sort of protect yourself, right?

1229
00:45:53.560 --> 00:45:55.440
I tell people again, don't stress.

1230
00:45:55.440 --> 00:45:57.600
There's only so much you can control.

1231
00:45:57.600 --> 00:46:00.680
So like I love that we're not drinking out of plastic.

1232
00:46:00.680 --> 00:46:02.360
If you have to get a plastic

1233
00:46:02.360 --> 00:46:04.600
because you're at an event or whatever,

1234
00:46:04.600 --> 00:46:08.280
try to make sure it's not a warm bottle.

1235
00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:09.760
So it hasn't been like sitting in the sun

1236
00:46:09.760 --> 00:46:11.360
for hours and hours and hours

1237
00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:14.120
because as it gets warm, it releases more microplastics

1238
00:46:14.120 --> 00:46:16.440
and more chemicals into the water.

1239
00:46:16.440 --> 00:46:19.000
When you're eating food, if you are eating out of,

1240
00:46:19.000 --> 00:46:21.480
they get take out, put it on a plate and warm it up.

1241
00:46:21.480 --> 00:46:23.080
Don't ever warm up that plastic.

1242
00:46:23.080 --> 00:46:25.360
And when you store food in the fridge,

1243
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:28.240
put it in a glass container or a metal container.

1244
00:46:28.240 --> 00:46:30.280
But don't ever believe the food in the plastic

1245
00:46:30.280 --> 00:46:31.400
and put it in the fridge.

1246
00:46:31.400 --> 00:46:33.040
These are simple things you can control.

1247
00:46:33.040 --> 00:46:35.480
You could also limit sort of your exposure to dust

1248
00:46:35.480 --> 00:46:37.440
because dust has microplastics.

1249
00:46:37.440 --> 00:46:40.240
You can try to wear more cotton fabrics,

1250
00:46:40.240 --> 00:46:43.920
less synthetic fabrics because they shed less microplastics.

1251
00:46:43.920 --> 00:46:46.200
But again, I think do what you can do

1252
00:46:46.200 --> 00:46:49.200
but don't let the stress of these chemicals

1253
00:46:49.200 --> 00:46:52.280
like derail you because stress is not helping you there.

1254
00:46:52.280 --> 00:46:55.600
And how much of a difference does, you know,

1255
00:46:55.600 --> 00:46:57.640
microplastics make on my whole mental health?

1256
00:46:57.640 --> 00:46:59.480
Is it really a big deal?

1257
00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:00.320
Well, I think it depends.

1258
00:47:00.320 --> 00:47:01.560
It's all dose dependent, right?

1259
00:47:01.560 --> 00:47:02.680
So we're all exposed.

1260
00:47:02.680 --> 00:47:04.840
Like if you look at the data, like people are,

1261
00:47:04.840 --> 00:47:07.160
you know, consuming quite a bit of microplastics

1262
00:47:07.160 --> 00:47:09.800
and we're seeing them actually even in testicles

1263
00:47:09.800 --> 00:47:13.440
and penis tissue samples, like they're in our bodies.

1264
00:47:13.440 --> 00:47:16.440
And so I think that it's definitely playing a role

1265
00:47:16.440 --> 00:47:18.000
how much we don't know yet.

1266
00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:19.280
We just know that there are mechanisms

1267
00:47:19.280 --> 00:47:22.320
and we know that they do affect hormonal health.

1268
00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:23.920
And so do the best you can.

1269
00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:26.600
Do you and your family drink out of plastic bottles?

1270
00:47:26.600 --> 00:47:29.440
No, we drink, we have like metal water bottles

1271
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:30.760
for the kids and myself.

1272
00:47:30.760 --> 00:47:32.120
What about non-stick pans?

1273
00:47:32.120 --> 00:47:33.560
We buy ceramic.

1274
00:47:33.560 --> 00:47:36.880
We do our best to like avoid those as much as possible.

1275
00:47:36.920 --> 00:47:38.920
So the other thing is the company you keep.

1276
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:40.560
I think we don't talk about this enough.

1277
00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:42.360
And we talk about it in terms of business.

1278
00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:44.600
Like you want to keep people who are successful around you.

1279
00:47:44.600 --> 00:47:46.200
You want to keep people who can help you.

1280
00:47:46.200 --> 00:47:48.840
But it also plays a role in your sexual environment, right?

1281
00:47:48.840 --> 00:47:50.360
So my husband is in these groups

1282
00:47:50.360 --> 00:47:52.680
with a bunch of other male physicians.

1283
00:47:52.680 --> 00:47:54.480
And there's a lot of discussion about

1284
00:47:54.480 --> 00:47:55.920
how they never have sex anymore.

1285
00:47:55.920 --> 00:47:57.040
And they're all just like, oh yeah,

1286
00:47:57.040 --> 00:47:59.120
this is just like normal, like we're getting older.

1287
00:47:59.120 --> 00:48:00.400
Our partners don't want to have sex.

1288
00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:01.400
It's so frustrating.

1289
00:48:01.400 --> 00:48:03.240
And there's a lot of discussion about this.

1290
00:48:03.240 --> 00:48:06.520
And it's almost like, oh, that's okay.

1291
00:48:06.520 --> 00:48:07.800
Like that's just normal, right?

1292
00:48:07.800 --> 00:48:09.640
They're normalizing this experience

1293
00:48:09.640 --> 00:48:11.640
where that sex has not become a priority

1294
00:48:11.640 --> 00:48:12.800
because life is so stressful.

1295
00:48:12.800 --> 00:48:13.960
Things are so crazy.

1296
00:48:13.960 --> 00:48:15.880
Maybe you're having relationship discord.

1297
00:48:15.880 --> 00:48:17.760
So it absolutely plays a role.

1298
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:19.560
And there's actually some evidence

1299
00:48:19.560 --> 00:48:21.600
that it may help you make better choices.

1300
00:48:21.600 --> 00:48:23.880
So there's one study where they looked at,

1301
00:48:23.880 --> 00:48:26.240
I think it was like 50,000 people.

1302
00:48:26.240 --> 00:48:29.520
And they did an intervention where they tried to

1303
00:48:29.520 --> 00:48:32.280
encourage these people to surround themselves

1304
00:48:32.280 --> 00:48:34.000
with positive influences that were like,

1305
00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:36.600
have safe sex and avoid negative influences.

1306
00:48:36.600 --> 00:48:39.840
And they saw that these people had an increase

1307
00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:42.040
in like sexual positive behavior.

1308
00:48:42.040 --> 00:48:45.560
So like safe sex practices by 46%.

1309
00:48:45.560 --> 00:48:48.960
So just by changing who they spent their time with,

1310
00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:50.520
they saw this major difference

1311
00:48:50.520 --> 00:48:52.840
in how they approached their sex lives.

1312
00:48:52.840 --> 00:48:55.160
Okay, so if your friends are very pessimistic about sex

1313
00:48:55.160 --> 00:48:57.200
and they're not having it and they're complaining about it,

1314
00:48:57.200 --> 00:49:00.600
that's gonna become sort of contagious.

1315
00:49:00.600 --> 00:49:02.800
Yeah, and I think it extrapolates to everything

1316
00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:05.000
what kind of relationships you're in,

1317
00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:07.600
how do they view their relationship with their partner?

1318
00:49:07.600 --> 00:49:08.440
Is it a priority?

1319
00:49:08.440 --> 00:49:10.480
Do they make it a priority, right?

1320
00:49:10.480 --> 00:49:12.120
Or are they just busy doing their own thing

1321
00:49:12.120 --> 00:49:14.560
and they're just like living in parallel lives?

1322
00:49:14.560 --> 00:49:15.480
They're doing their own thing,

1323
00:49:15.480 --> 00:49:16.320
you're doing your own thing,

1324
00:49:16.320 --> 00:49:18.200
you never really spend time with your partner.

1325
00:49:18.200 --> 00:49:20.200
And then when you go hang out with your friends,

1326
00:49:20.200 --> 00:49:22.080
you're like, oh God, I'm so glad to get away.

1327
00:49:22.080 --> 00:49:23.760
And you're not like talking about

1328
00:49:23.760 --> 00:49:25.520
how much you enjoy your partner.

1329
00:49:25.520 --> 00:49:27.720
People tend to talk negatively, right?

1330
00:49:27.720 --> 00:49:29.440
They want to like sort of like vent.

1331
00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:30.760
And so when you have people

1332
00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:32.360
who don't make that a part of their lives,

1333
00:49:32.360 --> 00:49:34.600
it also affects you, they value their partner

1334
00:49:34.600 --> 00:49:36.920
and they talk about them in a positive way,

1335
00:49:36.920 --> 00:49:38.600
that's a great thing to say like,

1336
00:49:38.600 --> 00:49:40.400
okay, this is the right kind of person I want

1337
00:49:40.400 --> 00:49:42.720
because I want to value my partner too

1338
00:49:42.720 --> 00:49:44.680
and I don't want that to rob off of me

1339
00:49:44.680 --> 00:49:46.400
because it absolutely does.

1340
00:49:46.400 --> 00:49:47.640
And the other thing you said in this category

1341
00:49:47.640 --> 00:49:50.440
of environmental stuff is things like pornography consumption.

1342
00:49:50.440 --> 00:49:52.600
Is it possible to consume too much porn?

1343
00:49:52.600 --> 00:49:55.040
So it's not the amount of porn that you watch.

1344
00:49:55.040 --> 00:49:58.680
It is the sort of the way you feel about it.

1345
00:49:58.680 --> 00:50:00.680
Many people watch porn for a variety of different reasons.

1346
00:50:00.680 --> 00:50:02.120
Most often it's for pleasure

1347
00:50:02.120 --> 00:50:02.960
and enjoyment.

1348
00:50:02.960 --> 00:50:04.720
But there's some people who watch porn

1349
00:50:04.720 --> 00:50:07.640
because they want to get away from negative feelings, right?

1350
00:50:07.640 --> 00:50:09.160
This is giving them dopamine

1351
00:50:09.160 --> 00:50:10.720
and they're using it as a way

1352
00:50:10.720 --> 00:50:12.360
to just feel better in the moment.

1353
00:50:12.360 --> 00:50:15.480
And so that can become a compulsion

1354
00:50:15.480 --> 00:50:16.400
where they're watching porn

1355
00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:18.600
and it's like giving them these positive feelings

1356
00:50:18.600 --> 00:50:19.640
and they feel negative in life

1357
00:50:19.640 --> 00:50:20.600
and they're going back to porn

1358
00:50:20.600 --> 00:50:24.160
to sort of again have that compulsion to watch porn again.

1359
00:50:24.160 --> 00:50:26.200
But that's a small subset of people.

1360
00:50:26.200 --> 00:50:27.760
The other thing is that there's a lot

1361
00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:30.080
of negative discussion around porn, right?

1362
00:50:30.080 --> 00:50:32.880
People are like porn is bad, it's dangerous, it's evil.

1363
00:50:32.880 --> 00:50:35.160
And I think it's more nuanced than that.

1364
00:50:35.160 --> 00:50:37.760
But if you feel that porn is bad,

1365
00:50:37.760 --> 00:50:39.960
every time you watch porn you feel negative,

1366
00:50:39.960 --> 00:50:41.840
you feel bad about yourself,

1367
00:50:41.840 --> 00:50:43.480
that's where we see people having

1368
00:50:43.480 --> 00:50:45.280
the most dysfunction associated with it

1369
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:46.200
because they feel guilty.

1370
00:50:46.200 --> 00:50:47.760
They could watch it once a year

1371
00:50:47.760 --> 00:50:49.920
and they could feel super guilty about it

1372
00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:51.840
and it could affect their sexual function.

1373
00:50:51.840 --> 00:50:53.560
They could see themselves as a bad person,

1374
00:50:53.560 --> 00:50:56.120
they could see themselves as wrong or immoral.

1375
00:50:56.120 --> 00:50:58.480
And that's really when it becomes an issue.

1376
00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:00.040
If you are finding yourself

1377
00:51:00.040 --> 00:51:02.040
either compulsively watching pornography

1378
00:51:02.040 --> 00:51:03.800
and using it as a scapegoat,

1379
00:51:03.800 --> 00:51:05.320
maybe time to reevaluate.

1380
00:51:05.320 --> 00:51:06.360
Say, why am I doing this?

1381
00:51:06.360 --> 00:51:08.800
How can I switch this out for something else

1382
00:51:08.800 --> 00:51:09.640
that makes me feel better?

1383
00:51:09.640 --> 00:51:11.600
That might be healthy, like exercise

1384
00:51:11.600 --> 00:51:14.400
or going for walks or whatever that may be.

1385
00:51:14.400 --> 00:51:17.240
And then if it's something that's really making you feel

1386
00:51:17.240 --> 00:51:20.480
like bad or guilty because maybe that's how you erase,

1387
00:51:20.480 --> 00:51:22.400
maybe that's what you feel about morality,

1388
00:51:22.400 --> 00:51:25.160
then yeah, maybe like you either need to work through that

1389
00:51:25.160 --> 00:51:27.080
because porn is maybe something

1390
00:51:27.080 --> 00:51:28.880
that you still want to watch at times

1391
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:30.520
or you need to abstain.

1392
00:51:30.520 --> 00:51:31.360
But usually those are,

1393
00:51:31.360 --> 00:51:33.480
it's very difficult to abstain from most people

1394
00:51:33.480 --> 00:51:35.640
to abstain for prolonged periods of time.

1395
00:51:35.640 --> 00:51:37.520
So I think it's something you have to work through

1396
00:51:37.520 --> 00:51:39.360
if you find yourself having these sort of feelings

1397
00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:42.920
about pornography or you're compulsively watching it.

1398
00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:46.440
But for the most people, it's adults, for most adults,

1399
00:51:46.440 --> 00:51:47.640
it is fantasy.

1400
00:51:47.640 --> 00:51:50.880
It's a place where you can experience

1401
00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:52.920
things that you may never do in real life

1402
00:51:52.920 --> 00:51:55.480
that may be enjoyable, that are fun to watch,

1403
00:51:55.480 --> 00:51:57.200
that are ready to feel arousal.

1404
00:51:57.200 --> 00:52:00.080
We see that when couples watch porn together,

1405
00:52:00.080 --> 00:52:01.680
they are more likely to be more satisfied

1406
00:52:01.680 --> 00:52:02.640
in their relationship.

1407
00:52:02.640 --> 00:52:03.960
And when there's a discord,

1408
00:52:03.960 --> 00:52:05.760
like one person really doesn't like it

1409
00:52:05.760 --> 00:52:07.560
or doesn't use it and the other one uses it a lot,

1410
00:52:07.560 --> 00:52:09.200
that's where we see the problem.

1411
00:52:09.200 --> 00:52:13.760
Is porn consumption going to impact my intimacy

1412
00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:15.080
with my partner?

1413
00:52:15.080 --> 00:52:15.920
So it depends.

1414
00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:18.840
I think a lot of people watch it without an issue, right?

1415
00:52:18.840 --> 00:52:19.680
They watch it and...

1416
00:52:19.680 --> 00:52:21.800
Because it's gonna masturbate and I ejaculate,

1417
00:52:21.800 --> 00:52:23.160
I'm not gonna then be able to ejaculate

1418
00:52:23.160 --> 00:52:25.600
very quickly, necessarily, with my partner.

1419
00:52:25.600 --> 00:52:27.200
Yeah, so that obviously that is, you know,

1420
00:52:27.200 --> 00:52:29.720
there's a refractory period after you ejaculate.

1421
00:52:29.720 --> 00:52:31.680
Now when you're younger, that refractory period

1422
00:52:31.680 --> 00:52:34.360
could be minutes and when you're older,

1423
00:52:34.360 --> 00:52:36.320
that can be a day and half.

1424
00:52:36.320 --> 00:52:39.200
And so we see that some people may struggle,

1425
00:52:39.200 --> 00:52:40.960
especially if they're watching a lot of porn

1426
00:52:40.960 --> 00:52:43.200
every single day and their refractory period

1427
00:52:43.200 --> 00:52:46.520
is maybe a day, then they may actually really have trouble

1428
00:52:46.520 --> 00:52:47.720
ejaculating with their partner

1429
00:52:47.720 --> 00:52:50.960
because they've not given themselves that time.

1430
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:54.040
This has had probably the single biggest impact

1431
00:52:54.040 --> 00:52:55.560
on my office.

1432
00:52:55.560 --> 00:52:57.080
Of all the products that I've tried

1433
00:52:57.080 --> 00:53:00.080
that have given me productivity gains or cognitive boosts,

1434
00:53:00.080 --> 00:53:02.480
I would say that exogenous ketones

1435
00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:06.400
are in the top three most pivotal things

1436
00:53:06.400 --> 00:53:08.040
that are given me a massive productivity gain.

1437
00:53:08.040 --> 00:53:09.160
It's some Stanford graduates

1438
00:53:09.160 --> 00:53:11.440
that have been able to basically bottle up

1439
00:53:11.440 --> 00:53:14.960
the effect you get from being in a ketogenic diet

1440
00:53:14.960 --> 00:53:17.880
in a small shot that you can take

1441
00:53:17.880 --> 00:53:19.480
that makes you feel incredibly focused

1442
00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:21.760
and gives your brain an incredible source of energy.

1443
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:23.160
And the clinical studies that have been done

1444
00:53:23.160 --> 00:53:25.840
on exogenous ketones have absolutely blown my mind.

1445
00:53:25.840 --> 00:53:28.680
I reached out to them, I became a coroner in the company,

1446
00:53:28.680 --> 00:53:30.160
I became an investor in the company.

1447
00:53:30.160 --> 00:53:31.160
And so it's with great pride

1448
00:53:31.160 --> 00:53:32.440
that I can tell you that this exists.

1449
00:53:32.440 --> 00:53:36.800
If you haven't tried these shots, go to ketone.com slash Stephen

1450
00:53:36.800 --> 00:53:38.800
for 30% off your subscription order

1451
00:53:38.800 --> 00:53:41.920
and you'll also get a free gift with your second shipment.

1452
00:53:41.920 --> 00:53:44.600
I still buy my ketone shots predominantly online,

1453
00:53:44.600 --> 00:53:46.520
but thankfully I can now grab the mitt target

1454
00:53:46.520 --> 00:53:48.640
whenever I drive past them here in the United States as well

1455
00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:50.200
because we're now stocked in target.

1456
00:53:50.200 --> 00:53:53.040
Where your first shot is completely free.

1457
00:53:53.040 --> 00:53:55.240
One of the smartest things a business can do

1458
00:53:55.240 --> 00:53:57.520
is build like a bigger company

1459
00:53:57.520 --> 00:53:59.800
without actually hiring like one.

1460
00:53:59.800 --> 00:54:00.920
But the problem we all face

1461
00:54:00.920 --> 00:54:03.480
is that most companies don't have every skill in house.

1462
00:54:03.480 --> 00:54:04.720
So when I look at the businesses

1463
00:54:04.720 --> 00:54:06.440
seeing real success today,

1464
00:54:06.440 --> 00:54:08.440
the consistent pattern with all of them

1465
00:54:08.440 --> 00:54:09.640
is how quickly they move.

1466
00:54:09.640 --> 00:54:11.200
They bring in specialists with skills

1467
00:54:11.200 --> 00:54:13.320
and emerging areas to keep themselves ahead.

1468
00:54:13.320 --> 00:54:14.240
Even in our company,

1469
00:54:14.240 --> 00:54:16.720
we've spent the last year pulling in talent across areas

1470
00:54:16.720 --> 00:54:19.560
like AI native strategy, no code builds

1471
00:54:19.560 --> 00:54:20.800
and product workflows.

1472
00:54:20.800 --> 00:54:22.480
And we find this talent for our long-term partner,

1473
00:54:22.480 --> 00:54:23.680
Fiverr Pro.

1474
00:54:23.680 --> 00:54:26.400
Their premium service only shows you vetted talent.

1475
00:54:26.400 --> 00:54:28.640
So you've always got the safeguard

1476
00:54:28.640 --> 00:54:30.440
that anyone you pull in to help you

1477
00:54:30.440 --> 00:54:33.480
with a complex project has the skills that you're after

1478
00:54:33.480 --> 00:54:35.680
and will deliver to the same high standards

1479
00:54:35.680 --> 00:54:36.840
as your internal team.

1480
00:54:36.840 --> 00:54:38.840
And, importantly, they'll keep up with the pace.

1481
00:54:38.840 --> 00:54:39.840
It's a simple strategy,

1482
00:54:39.840 --> 00:54:42.520
but it lets us stay agile without compromising on quality.

1483
00:54:42.520 --> 00:54:44.480
So if you need these kind of skills in your business,

1484
00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:47.440
head to pro.fiverr.com to find a pioneering talent

1485
00:54:47.440 --> 00:54:49.000
to fill your businesses gaps.

1486
00:54:49.000 --> 00:54:50.800
That's pro.fiverr.com.

1487
00:54:51.920 --> 00:54:54.080
And the last one, the last of the four pillars.

1488
00:54:54.080 --> 00:54:56.440
The last of the four pillars we talked a little bit about,

1489
00:54:56.440 --> 00:54:58.000
it's called confidence.

1490
00:54:58.000 --> 00:55:00.800
And confidence is not like running around like a peacock,

1491
00:55:00.800 --> 00:55:01.800
like I know what I'm doing.

1492
00:55:01.800 --> 00:55:05.080
It's confidence in knowledge and curiosity.

1493
00:55:05.080 --> 00:55:06.520
So knowledge we talked about a little bit

1494
00:55:06.520 --> 00:55:08.080
understanding female anatomy,

1495
00:55:08.080 --> 00:55:11.240
like how do female bodies get aroused, right?

1496
00:55:11.240 --> 00:55:12.320
What makes them aroused?

1497
00:55:12.320 --> 00:55:14.320
Where is the clitoris knowing some anatomy

1498
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:16.600
and two, actually talking to your partner

1499
00:55:16.600 --> 00:55:19.120
or paying attention to their cues?

1500
00:55:19.120 --> 00:55:21.800
We, for some reason with sex, it's the only time

1501
00:55:21.800 --> 00:55:23.520
that we just expect people to be mind readers.

1502
00:55:23.520 --> 00:55:24.880
We just want you to know what I like

1503
00:55:24.880 --> 00:55:26.400
and just go for it, right?

1504
00:55:26.400 --> 00:55:27.640
And then when it's not good,

1505
00:55:27.640 --> 00:55:29.800
you're like, well, you just don't know what you're doing.

1506
00:55:29.800 --> 00:55:32.000
And it's like, it's wild to me

1507
00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:35.240
that we actually never got taught how to talk about sex,

1508
00:55:35.240 --> 00:55:36.840
how to bring it up with a partner,

1509
00:55:36.840 --> 00:55:40.680
how to, you know, just explore and have fun with sex,

1510
00:55:40.680 --> 00:55:42.520
maybe add a toy to the bedroom.

1511
00:55:42.520 --> 00:55:44.480
So there's lots of different types of toys.

1512
00:55:44.480 --> 00:55:46.880
This is a vulva stimulator,

1513
00:55:46.880 --> 00:55:48.360
so you put this on the outside,

1514
00:55:48.360 --> 00:55:49.760
so you can see that it would,

1515
00:55:49.760 --> 00:55:51.760
in theory, this was smaller,

1516
00:55:51.760 --> 00:55:55.200
would stimulate the clitoris on the outside.

1517
00:55:55.200 --> 00:55:57.440
It also can change in shape.

1518
00:55:58.320 --> 00:55:59.160
It'll vibrate, right?

1519
00:55:59.160 --> 00:56:00.840
And it'll have different stimulations

1520
00:56:00.840 --> 00:56:01.960
that you can play around with

1521
00:56:01.960 --> 00:56:03.560
and decide what you enjoy.

1522
00:56:03.560 --> 00:56:05.360
So this one's run out of battery.

1523
00:56:05.360 --> 00:56:10.200
Um, so they're brand new and they've not been used.

1524
00:56:10.200 --> 00:56:12.840
I didn't say they had been very defensive though.

1525
00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:14.680
Um, so if my pinky finger,

1526
00:56:14.680 --> 00:56:16.160
if my finger here is the clitoris,

1527
00:56:16.160 --> 00:56:18.760
yeah, I put it on like the,

1528
00:56:18.760 --> 00:56:20.480
yeah, and then it vibrates.

1529
00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:21.000
Correct.

1530
00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:23.640
And then the penis goes through the hole.

1531
00:56:23.640 --> 00:56:25.000
And there's another version of that.

1532
00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:26.280
This is basically,

1533
00:56:26.280 --> 00:56:31.280
oh, sorry, this is basically like the hole goes around the penis

1534
00:56:31.280 --> 00:56:35.040
and that goes in and that can go in and stimulate and vibrate.

1535
00:56:35.040 --> 00:56:36.440
So you both feel the vibration

1536
00:56:36.440 --> 00:56:38.320
and you both feel the stimulation.

1537
00:56:38.320 --> 00:56:40.760
I remember as with her, I had a partner and she,

1538
00:56:40.760 --> 00:56:43.360
she felt that sex toys were for older people,

1539
00:56:43.360 --> 00:56:45.320
older people, specifically what she said.

1540
00:56:45.320 --> 00:56:48.360
And she, she was kind of against the use of them.

1541
00:56:48.360 --> 00:56:49.600
I've always been down.

1542
00:56:49.600 --> 00:56:51.320
I think it adds novelty and it's exciting

1543
00:56:51.320 --> 00:56:53.120
and it just adds something new.

1544
00:56:53.120 --> 00:56:56.960
But she felt like it was almost like giving up.

1545
00:56:56.960 --> 00:56:59.280
Well, I mean, look, I think I wonder why.

1546
00:56:59.280 --> 00:57:00.640
I would, I would, if I, she was here

1547
00:57:00.640 --> 00:57:02.080
I'd ask her why do you think that?

1548
00:57:02.080 --> 00:57:03.920
What belief system do you have

1549
00:57:03.920 --> 00:57:06.560
with making you think that this is like not a good thing

1550
00:57:06.560 --> 00:57:07.680
to use, right?

1551
00:57:07.720 --> 00:57:10.960
We use technology in so many places in our lives, right?

1552
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:13.160
So why not introduce it in our sex lives?

1553
00:57:13.160 --> 00:57:14.280
Are you going to become relying on it though

1554
00:57:14.280 --> 00:57:17.080
because it doesn't make it easier to get off with a sex toy?

1555
00:57:17.080 --> 00:57:19.720
So they've actually looked at a vibration

1556
00:57:19.720 --> 00:57:21.760
and can you get desensitized to it?

1557
00:57:21.760 --> 00:57:24.000
And the way they've looked at it's actually like construction workers

1558
00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:26.600
where they're using those like vibration tools, right?

1559
00:57:26.600 --> 00:57:29.560
And seeing if like their hands get desensitized.

1560
00:57:29.560 --> 00:57:32.280
And what they've seen is yes, for a short period of time

1561
00:57:32.280 --> 00:57:35.160
they do lose a little bit of sensation on their fingertips

1562
00:57:35.160 --> 00:57:37.240
but then it restores back to normal.

1563
00:57:37.320 --> 00:57:41.000
And so it's not that you're going to become desensitized forever, right?

1564
00:57:41.000 --> 00:57:42.200
I think you brought up a great point

1565
00:57:42.200 --> 00:57:43.760
which is adding novelty.

1566
00:57:43.760 --> 00:57:46.040
Now I think when I say novelty people are like,

1567
00:57:46.040 --> 00:57:49.120
oh my god, I need to role play in a different way

1568
00:57:49.120 --> 00:57:51.800
or bring like some sort of BDSM

1569
00:57:51.800 --> 00:57:53.440
or whatever into my sex life.

1570
00:57:53.440 --> 00:57:55.000
And that's not exactly true.

1571
00:57:55.000 --> 00:57:57.320
So when you think about sex, right?

1572
00:57:57.320 --> 00:57:59.280
It's just like eating your favorite ice cream.

1573
00:57:59.280 --> 00:58:02.160
Maybe you have vanilla ice cream three times a week

1574
00:58:02.160 --> 00:58:03.000
and you enjoy it.

1575
00:58:03.000 --> 00:58:05.680
But if you start having vanilla ice cream every single day

1576
00:58:05.720 --> 00:58:07.160
you're kind of bored with it, right?

1577
00:58:07.160 --> 00:58:08.560
And the same goes for sex.

1578
00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:12.080
Now having routine in sex knowing what you like,

1579
00:58:12.080 --> 00:58:15.720
knowing what your partner likes, it can be very helpful.

1580
00:58:15.720 --> 00:58:18.280
But it also is nice to add novelty.

1581
00:58:18.280 --> 00:58:21.280
So if you think about we could extrapolate from the flow state.

1582
00:58:21.280 --> 00:58:23.720
So when you are in a flow state for work, right?

1583
00:58:23.720 --> 00:58:25.880
Things feel really almost effortless

1584
00:58:25.880 --> 00:58:27.280
and you're just like in a zone.

1585
00:58:27.280 --> 00:58:29.680
You can also get into a sexual flow state.

1586
00:58:29.680 --> 00:58:30.760
When you look at the flow state, yeah,

1587
00:58:30.760 --> 00:58:32.880
you need things to be slightly challenging

1588
00:58:32.880 --> 00:58:33.880
to get into the flow state.

1589
00:58:33.880 --> 00:58:36.640
They can't be easy and they can't be so hard

1590
00:58:36.640 --> 00:58:38.280
that you're gonna get frustrated, right?

1591
00:58:38.280 --> 00:58:41.560
And so you need to add a slight challenge

1592
00:58:41.560 --> 00:58:45.480
to your sexual encounter to get into that flow state.

1593
00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:47.840
And that's when you start having really great sex

1594
00:58:47.840 --> 00:58:49.840
because you're like in, you're totally immersed,

1595
00:58:49.840 --> 00:58:52.920
you're feeling great and it's super fun, right?

1596
00:58:52.920 --> 00:58:55.320
So I think that's another part of being confident

1597
00:58:55.320 --> 00:58:58.040
is being able to and confident to try new things

1598
00:58:58.040 --> 00:58:59.160
and explore new things.

1599
00:58:59.160 --> 00:59:02.120
And it can be as simple as like doing it in a different room

1600
00:59:02.120 --> 00:59:04.880
or maybe getting a pillow or switching

1601
00:59:04.880 --> 00:59:06.280
where your head position is.

1602
00:59:06.280 --> 00:59:08.160
Like it can be so small,

1603
00:59:08.160 --> 00:59:10.600
but it can just add a little bit of uniqueness

1604
00:59:10.600 --> 00:59:12.280
and novelty and challenge.

1605
00:59:12.280 --> 00:59:15.880
Are there certain positions that are going to increase

1606
00:59:15.880 --> 00:59:18.600
the probability that my partner has an orgasm?

1607
00:59:18.600 --> 00:59:22.440
Yeah, so typically when the female partner is on top,

1608
00:59:22.440 --> 00:59:26.800
she has more control over where she's getting stimulation

1609
00:59:26.800 --> 00:59:27.800
to the clitoris because right,

1610
00:59:27.800 --> 00:59:29.600
she can angle her body in such a way.

1611
00:59:29.600 --> 00:59:34.520
So oftentimes that shows that has higher orgasm rates.

1612
00:59:34.520 --> 00:59:36.720
There's actually like this technique

1613
00:59:36.720 --> 00:59:38.880
called the coital alignment technique

1614
00:59:38.880 --> 00:59:44.400
where you sort of move in a rocking motion

1615
00:59:44.440 --> 00:59:49.080
so that your pubic synthesis, so this bone right here,

1616
00:59:49.080 --> 00:59:51.640
is sort of like rubbing against their clitoris.

1617
00:59:51.640 --> 00:59:54.200
Like this area of the skin here is rubbing against the clitoris

1618
00:59:54.200 --> 00:59:55.680
while you're penetrating.

1619
00:59:55.680 --> 00:59:58.760
And that has been shown to increase orgasm rate

1620
00:59:58.760 --> 01:00:00.200
and pleasure and sex.

1621
01:00:00.200 --> 01:00:03.080
So really it's about figuring out and trying different things

1622
01:00:03.080 --> 01:00:04.320
and realizing like that, for example,

1623
01:00:04.320 --> 01:00:06.520
that coital alignment technique is sort of difficult.

1624
01:00:06.520 --> 01:00:08.160
Like it's not that easy and intuitive

1625
01:00:08.160 --> 01:00:09.680
and so you have to sort of play around with it

1626
01:00:09.680 --> 01:00:13.320
and figure out like what is gonna work best?

1627
01:00:13.320 --> 01:00:14.880
And yeah, realizing it might not work,

1628
01:00:14.880 --> 01:00:16.200
you might be like super awkward and be like,

1629
01:00:16.200 --> 01:00:17.360
okay, like that's okay.

1630
01:00:17.360 --> 01:00:18.760
Like it's not the end of the world.

1631
01:00:18.760 --> 01:00:20.880
If sex is not perfect every time

1632
01:00:20.880 --> 01:00:22.280
because we're learning and we're playing

1633
01:00:22.280 --> 01:00:23.600
and we're having fun.

1634
01:00:23.600 --> 01:00:24.720
And so I think that's really the key.

1635
01:00:24.720 --> 01:00:27.360
It's like not letting yourself get so frustrated

1636
01:00:27.360 --> 01:00:28.920
if something doesn't go exactly

1637
01:00:28.920 --> 01:00:30.440
the way you envision it in your head.

1638
01:00:30.440 --> 01:00:32.480
I used to think that a woman orgasm

1639
01:00:32.480 --> 01:00:34.560
being was when, this was one of the younger,

1640
01:00:34.560 --> 01:00:36.200
was when she squirted.

1641
01:00:36.200 --> 01:00:37.720
So that's what I thought it was.

1642
01:00:37.720 --> 01:00:39.080
I thought an orgasm was squirting.

1643
01:00:39.080 --> 01:00:41.840
Yeah, well, you're probably not the only one to think that.

1644
01:00:41.840 --> 01:00:44.160
And so squirting, not every woman squirt.

1645
01:00:44.160 --> 01:00:46.160
So about 40% of women squirt.

1646
01:00:46.160 --> 01:00:50.080
Squirting is the emission of fluid at the time of orgasm.

1647
01:00:50.080 --> 01:00:51.280
Usually it's clear colorless

1648
01:00:51.280 --> 01:00:53.160
and it can be quite voluminous.

1649
01:00:53.160 --> 01:00:55.200
It's coming from the urethra,

1650
01:00:55.200 --> 01:00:57.560
which is the P hole essentially.

1651
01:00:57.560 --> 01:01:00.280
And remember, I talked about those skin's glands.

1652
01:01:00.280 --> 01:01:03.160
Those skin's glands are the homolog of the male prostate

1653
01:01:03.160 --> 01:01:05.320
and they have a little bit of fluid in them too.

1654
01:01:05.320 --> 01:01:10.360
Typically, when you have stimulation and squirting,

1655
01:01:10.360 --> 01:01:12.600
they will release fluid from the bladder

1656
01:01:12.600 --> 01:01:15.520
as well as the skin's glands that combines together

1657
01:01:15.520 --> 01:01:17.800
and it's emitted through that.

1658
01:01:17.800 --> 01:01:18.960
So it's not P.

1659
01:01:18.960 --> 01:01:19.960
The way they describe it,

1660
01:01:19.960 --> 01:01:21.400
and there's been a lot of research on this.

1661
01:01:21.400 --> 01:01:22.800
So there's people who say it's P,

1662
01:01:22.800 --> 01:01:24.040
there's people who say it's not.

1663
01:01:24.040 --> 01:01:24.960
There's a couple studies.

1664
01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:28.440
The one is they put dye into the bladder

1665
01:01:28.440 --> 01:01:30.880
and they took women who said they were squirters

1666
01:01:30.880 --> 01:01:32.880
and they had them orgasm and they saw,

1667
01:01:32.880 --> 01:01:36.560
is there dye in the fluid?

1668
01:01:36.560 --> 01:01:37.760
And yeah, there was dye in fluid.

1669
01:01:37.760 --> 01:01:39.520
So it has to come from the bladder.

1670
01:01:39.520 --> 01:01:42.160
The skin's glands only hold a small amount,

1671
01:01:42.160 --> 01:01:43.920
but it's chemically different.

1672
01:01:43.920 --> 01:01:46.600
It's usually clear, odorless, it doesn't smell like P.

1673
01:01:46.600 --> 01:01:49.640
And so there's some theories as to why that might be.

1674
01:01:49.640 --> 01:01:52.920
It may be that when you're having sex,

1675
01:01:52.920 --> 01:01:54.360
there's different hormonal signals

1676
01:01:54.360 --> 01:01:56.560
that change the concentration of what's filtering

1677
01:01:56.560 --> 01:01:58.480
through your kidneys so that it is a little bit

1678
01:01:58.480 --> 01:02:00.080
different in composition.

1679
01:02:00.080 --> 01:02:01.920
There's some theories that when there's more estrogen

1680
01:02:01.920 --> 01:02:03.160
around that it may change,

1681
01:02:03.160 --> 01:02:06.320
there may be some fluid filling

1682
01:02:06.320 --> 01:02:08.960
in the actual interstitia of the organs.

1683
01:02:08.960 --> 01:02:09.880
Again, it's hard to say,

1684
01:02:09.880 --> 01:02:12.520
but it's absolutely coming from the urethra,

1685
01:02:12.520 --> 01:02:13.680
which is connected to the bladder

1686
01:02:13.680 --> 01:02:15.400
as well as the skin's glands.

1687
01:02:15.400 --> 01:02:17.800
But I think this whole discussion about what it is,

1688
01:02:17.800 --> 01:02:20.120
it doesn't matter, like is it pleasurable?

1689
01:02:20.120 --> 01:02:21.880
Are you enjoying it great?

1690
01:02:21.880 --> 01:02:23.600
If you squirt and you enjoy it great,

1691
01:02:23.600 --> 01:02:25.920
if you don't, that doesn't mean that there's something wrong

1692
01:02:25.920 --> 01:02:28.040
and that your partner hasn't orgasmed.

1693
01:02:28.040 --> 01:02:29.920
The way to figure out if your partner orgasmed

1694
01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:31.080
is you ask her, right?

1695
01:02:31.080 --> 01:02:32.800
Either she tells you or you ask her.

1696
01:02:32.800 --> 01:02:34.880
And sometimes it's obvious and sometimes it's not,

1697
01:02:34.880 --> 01:02:38.240
but you know, you sort of figure it out.

1698
01:02:38.240 --> 01:02:41.320
There's three theories that emerged in my research

1699
01:02:41.320 --> 01:02:43.680
about why women squirt from an evolutionary perspective.

1700
01:02:43.680 --> 01:02:45.920
The first was that, and these are just theories

1701
01:02:45.920 --> 01:02:47.720
they're not proven, of course.

1702
01:02:47.720 --> 01:02:50.760
The first is that squirting contains PSA and zinc,

1703
01:02:50.760 --> 01:02:53.040
which are naturally antibacterial

1704
01:02:53.040 --> 01:02:55.240
and ejaculating these fluids during or after sex

1705
01:02:55.240 --> 01:02:59.320
may have evolved to flush the urethra and prevent UTIs,

1706
01:02:59.320 --> 01:03:02.000
the logic being in a pre-antibiotic world,

1707
01:03:02.000 --> 01:03:04.200
a woman who could flush bacteria out of a system

1708
01:03:04.200 --> 01:03:05.720
after mating was more likely to stay healthy

1709
01:03:05.720 --> 01:03:06.560
and reproduce.

1710
01:03:06.560 --> 01:03:07.560
That's one theory, the other rules.

1711
01:03:07.560 --> 01:03:09.200
Well, before you go, I want to talk about that really quickly.

1712
01:03:09.200 --> 01:03:11.080
So that's a really interesting theory.

1713
01:03:11.080 --> 01:03:13.520
So one, the reason they emit PSA

1714
01:03:13.520 --> 01:03:17.520
is because skin's glands are the homolog of the prostate.

1715
01:03:17.520 --> 01:03:21.080
So the prostate makes PSA, which is prostate-specific antigen.

1716
01:03:21.080 --> 01:03:22.800
So at this point, this word homolog again.

1717
01:03:22.800 --> 01:03:25.400
Yeah, it's basically the prostate in the male,

1718
01:03:25.400 --> 01:03:27.280
the same tissue when they're an embryo

1719
01:03:27.280 --> 01:03:28.600
becomes the prostate in the male

1720
01:03:28.600 --> 01:03:30.560
and becomes a skin's glands in the female.

1721
01:03:30.560 --> 01:03:32.800
So that's why it's emitting PSA.

1722
01:03:32.800 --> 01:03:35.280
That is an interesting theory because there are a subset

1723
01:03:35.280 --> 01:03:38.440
of women who get UTIs after sex, not everybody,

1724
01:03:38.440 --> 01:03:41.920
but some do, and it's not because of the ejaculate

1725
01:03:41.920 --> 01:03:45.040
or because of the male harboring some bacteria.

1726
01:03:45.040 --> 01:03:47.760
It's because of the actual thrusting of the penis.

1727
01:03:47.760 --> 01:03:49.520
It's taking bacteria from the outside

1728
01:03:49.520 --> 01:03:51.120
and making it more easy for it to go through

1729
01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:52.480
the urethra into the bladder.

1730
01:03:52.480 --> 01:03:54.640
And women have a short urethra.

1731
01:03:54.640 --> 01:03:56.840
And so I want just to debunk that myth

1732
01:03:56.840 --> 01:03:58.680
that it's like you're getting it from your partner

1733
01:03:58.680 --> 01:03:59.760
or there's something wrong with you.

1734
01:03:59.760 --> 01:04:01.600
It is literally just anatomy.

1735
01:04:01.600 --> 01:04:05.560
And so some women do get more UTIs after sex.

1736
01:04:05.560 --> 01:04:06.640
And so that is an interesting theory

1737
01:04:06.640 --> 01:04:08.000
because maybe that's true.

1738
01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:08.840
I don't know.

1739
01:04:08.840 --> 01:04:10.600
The second theory was in ancient ancestors,

1740
01:04:10.600 --> 01:04:13.160
the hormonal surge during orgasm and ejaculation

1741
01:04:13.160 --> 01:04:15.560
actually triggered the release of an egg.

1742
01:04:15.560 --> 01:04:17.680
Humans evolved to ovulate on a cycle now,

1743
01:04:17.680 --> 01:04:20.880
but we kept the plumbing and the neuro hormonal reflex.

1744
01:04:20.880 --> 01:04:23.120
It's a happy accident, a biological vestige

1745
01:04:23.120 --> 01:04:25.880
that no longer serves its original reproductive purpose

1746
01:04:25.880 --> 01:04:28.840
that remains because it isn't harmful for survival.

1747
01:04:28.840 --> 01:04:29.440
Interesting.

1748
01:04:29.440 --> 01:04:32.720
I mean, there is some thought that maybe orgasming,

1749
01:04:33.960 --> 01:04:36.280
it's thousands of orgasms help with fertility,

1750
01:04:36.280 --> 01:04:39.320
but it's not really robust.

1751
01:04:39.320 --> 01:04:41.080
And the last one kind of matches what you just said there,

1752
01:04:41.080 --> 01:04:42.680
which is the makes-election theory.

1753
01:04:42.680 --> 01:04:44.720
The intense pleasure and psychological response

1754
01:04:44.720 --> 01:04:48.360
of squirting or orgasm act as a reward system.

1755
01:04:48.360 --> 01:04:50.560
It incentivizes women to seek out specific partners

1756
01:04:50.560 --> 01:04:52.600
who provide high levels of stimulation,

1757
01:04:52.600 --> 01:04:55.400
potentially signaling a better genetic compatibility

1758
01:04:55.400 --> 01:04:58.120
or a more attentive male,

1759
01:04:58.120 --> 01:05:01.000
which would help with the survival of offspring.

1760
01:05:01.000 --> 01:05:01.840
Maybe.

1761
01:05:01.840 --> 01:05:03.040
That makes sense.

1762
01:05:03.040 --> 01:05:05.280
40% of women squirt.

1763
01:05:05.280 --> 01:05:06.680
Yeah, so the other thing is,

1764
01:05:06.680 --> 01:05:09.080
obviously a lot of sex is focused on genitals,

1765
01:05:09.080 --> 01:05:11.760
but there's a whole body of erogenous zones, right?

1766
01:05:11.760 --> 01:05:15.680
Almost, almost your entire body can be an erogenous zone.

1767
01:05:15.680 --> 01:05:16.680
We talked a little bit about it.

1768
01:05:16.680 --> 01:05:18.160
We talked about sensate focus, right?

1769
01:05:18.160 --> 01:05:20.240
You can explore, you can find areas

1770
01:05:20.240 --> 01:05:22.400
that people find erogenous.

1771
01:05:22.400 --> 01:05:23.840
So when you looked at data,

1772
01:05:23.840 --> 01:05:28.080
necks, nipples, lips, buttocks,

1773
01:05:28.080 --> 01:05:31.000
inner thighs, all these areas are considered erogenous.

1774
01:05:31.000 --> 01:05:35.400
By most people, regardless of their sexual orientation,

1775
01:05:35.400 --> 01:05:37.040
regardless of their cultural upbringing,

1776
01:05:37.040 --> 01:05:38.840
it seems to be pretty universal.

1777
01:05:38.840 --> 01:05:42.080
There's actually a famous paper about non-genital orgasms

1778
01:05:42.080 --> 01:05:45.840
and like how people orgasm without any genital stimulation.

1779
01:05:45.840 --> 01:05:49.360
So lip orgasms, anal sex orgasms.

1780
01:05:49.360 --> 01:05:50.640
Is that possible?

1781
01:05:50.640 --> 01:05:52.960
Yeah, it's been documented, absolutely.

1782
01:05:52.960 --> 01:05:55.560
And so it's nipple orgasms.

1783
01:05:55.560 --> 01:05:56.880
There's a whole variety of ways,

1784
01:05:56.880 --> 01:05:59.640
even like women have had orgasms during childbirth.

1785
01:05:59.640 --> 01:06:02.640
There have been these documented ways to orgasm.

1786
01:06:02.640 --> 01:06:05.400
And it's because these areas can be very erogenous.

1787
01:06:05.400 --> 01:06:07.680
And sometimes stimulating multiple areas

1788
01:06:07.680 --> 01:06:10.240
can like add more erogenous interest.

1789
01:06:10.240 --> 01:06:13.240
And that's why you see people like maybe in the BDSM community,

1790
01:06:13.240 --> 01:06:16.080
they'll be using nipple clamps

1791
01:06:16.080 --> 01:06:17.480
while they're doing other things, right?

1792
01:06:17.480 --> 01:06:20.560
So there's a whole bunch of areas that are erogenous.

1793
01:06:20.560 --> 01:06:24.600
And most of the times people are not really spending much time

1794
01:06:24.600 --> 01:06:28.160
on foreplay or stimulating these erogenous zones

1795
01:06:28.160 --> 01:06:29.240
as much as they should, right?

1796
01:06:29.240 --> 01:06:31.160
You have a whole body to play with.

1797
01:06:31.160 --> 01:06:32.520
And how do you stimulate them?

1798
01:06:32.520 --> 01:06:33.880
There's actually evidence behind that.

1799
01:06:33.880 --> 01:06:36.640
So on your skin, we have these special fibers

1800
01:06:36.640 --> 01:06:38.720
called C tactile efforts.

1801
01:06:38.720 --> 01:06:40.360
So when you stimulate these fibers,

1802
01:06:40.360 --> 01:06:42.880
they help you feel pleasure, enjoyment,

1803
01:06:42.880 --> 01:06:44.320
those sorts of things.

1804
01:06:44.320 --> 01:06:47.080
And so there was a study where they took 19 couples,

1805
01:06:47.080 --> 01:06:48.720
a small study was not a London.

1806
01:06:48.720 --> 01:06:52.080
And they basically told them to stimulate an erogenous zone

1807
01:06:52.080 --> 01:06:53.040
and an non-erogenous zone,

1808
01:06:53.040 --> 01:06:55.000
the non-erogenous zone being the forehead.

1809
01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:56.480
And so they had the couple stimulating.

1810
01:06:56.480 --> 01:06:59.760
They told them stimulated at levels of 18 centimeters

1811
01:06:59.760 --> 01:07:02.320
per second in terms of how fast you're

1812
01:07:02.320 --> 01:07:06.840
caressing the arm or body part and at three centimeters

1813
01:07:06.840 --> 01:07:07.720
per second.

1814
01:07:07.720 --> 01:07:09.640
And what they found was those who stimulated at three

1815
01:07:09.640 --> 01:07:12.880
centimeters per second had more sexual arousal,

1816
01:07:12.880 --> 01:07:14.880
had more pleasant stimulation compared

1817
01:07:14.960 --> 01:07:17.720
to those who were stimulating at 18 centimeters per second.

1818
01:07:17.720 --> 01:07:21.240
Now this makes sense because those C tactile affron fibers

1819
01:07:21.240 --> 01:07:25.920
respond very well to that slow, gentle caress.

1820
01:07:25.920 --> 01:07:28.480
The other interesting thing is that these fibers

1821
01:07:28.480 --> 01:07:31.000
are only responsive to human touch.

1822
01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:33.280
So if I take a glove and I put it on my hand

1823
01:07:33.280 --> 01:07:35.320
and I touch you, it still doesn't work.

1824
01:07:35.320 --> 01:07:36.080
Interesting.

1825
01:07:36.080 --> 01:07:38.120
That's so interesting because in Los Angeles,

1826
01:07:38.120 --> 01:07:40.160
where we are now, we were viewing an office

1827
01:07:40.160 --> 01:07:41.360
and we were walking down the street

1828
01:07:41.360 --> 01:07:43.520
to see what the neighborhood was like.

1829
01:07:43.520 --> 01:07:48.520
We walked past one place and it is a robot massage parlour.

1830
01:07:49.480 --> 01:07:51.960
And I always thought, great, like, well, part of me

1831
01:07:51.960 --> 01:07:53.640
thought maybe my prefrontal cortex thought,

1832
01:07:53.640 --> 01:07:56.880
oh, great idea because you can get massages whenever you want.

1833
01:07:56.880 --> 01:07:57.720
It's going to be cheap.

1834
01:07:57.720 --> 01:07:59.080
You can maybe have one in your home.

1835
01:07:59.080 --> 01:08:00.840
But then the other part of me as I saw it thought,

1836
01:08:00.840 --> 01:08:02.080
actually, I didn't actually think that's like,

1837
01:08:02.080 --> 01:08:03.520
right, why I get massages.

1838
01:08:03.520 --> 01:08:05.400
I think there's something about human touch

1839
01:08:05.400 --> 01:08:07.000
which makes a big difference.

1840
01:08:07.000 --> 01:08:08.960
Absolutely, there is.

1841
01:08:08.960 --> 01:08:12.640
And so I think that's a revolutionary,

1842
01:08:12.640 --> 01:08:17.040
evolutionarily built to seek out human touch and human behavior.

1843
01:08:17.040 --> 01:08:19.640
I wonder if I would want a robot to massage me.

1844
01:08:20.920 --> 01:08:21.920
It's good now.

1845
01:08:21.920 --> 01:08:24.120
I mean, think about sitting in a massage chair.

1846
01:08:24.120 --> 01:08:25.120
Is it ever as good?

1847
01:08:25.120 --> 01:08:25.960
It's never as good.

1848
01:08:25.960 --> 01:08:28.520
Right. And so I don't think a robot's going to be that different

1849
01:08:28.520 --> 01:08:30.800
from a, maybe a little better than a massage chair.

1850
01:08:30.800 --> 01:08:33.120
But like, massage chairs are never good.

1851
01:08:33.120 --> 01:08:35.480
No, they're just like, they're okay.

1852
01:08:35.480 --> 01:08:37.080
They're mediocre.

1853
01:08:37.080 --> 01:08:40.200
I want to talk about testosterone,

1854
01:08:40.200 --> 01:08:41.440
how that links to sexual function,

1855
01:08:41.440 --> 01:08:42.840
but also just overall health.

1856
01:08:42.840 --> 01:08:45.760
Because I was reading that there's been a 300% increase

1857
01:08:45.760 --> 01:08:47.880
in the United States in the last 10 years

1858
01:08:47.880 --> 01:08:49.800
of testosterone prescriptions.

1859
01:08:49.800 --> 01:08:51.120
And my friends increasingly have

1860
01:08:51.120 --> 01:08:52.480
an conversation about testosterone,

1861
01:08:52.480 --> 01:08:54.960
which we weren't having even five years ago.

1862
01:08:54.960 --> 01:08:55.960
It wasn't a conversation.

1863
01:08:55.960 --> 01:08:57.800
And now the conversation I'm having amongst my friends

1864
01:08:57.800 --> 01:08:59.000
is like, is our testosterone high enough

1865
01:08:59.000 --> 01:09:02.080
that we need to go get supplements to increase our testosterone?

1866
01:09:02.080 --> 01:09:03.560
Testosterone is declining.

1867
01:09:03.560 --> 01:09:07.080
So when you look at testosterone levels from the 1990s,

1868
01:09:07.080 --> 01:09:11.000
like late 1990s, the average level was around 600.

1869
01:09:11.000 --> 01:09:14.920
And if you look at data around 2015, it was 450.

1870
01:09:14.920 --> 01:09:18.520
So there's been like a 25% decline in testosterone.

1871
01:09:18.520 --> 01:09:20.040
Now you're going to ask me why?

1872
01:09:20.040 --> 01:09:22.680
One, we talked about some of the endocrine disrupting chemicals.

1873
01:09:22.680 --> 01:09:24.440
That's part of it, certainly.

1874
01:09:24.440 --> 01:09:27.560
Two, there's a significant rise in obesity.

1875
01:09:27.560 --> 01:09:29.320
Testosterone has aromatase.

1876
01:09:29.320 --> 01:09:31.240
And testosterone converts to estrogen

1877
01:09:31.240 --> 01:09:33.600
using this enzyme called aromatase.

1878
01:09:33.600 --> 01:09:35.200
And so when you have more fat mass,

1879
01:09:35.200 --> 01:09:36.520
you have more aromatase.

1880
01:09:36.520 --> 01:09:39.080
And more testosterone is being converted to estrogen.

1881
01:09:39.120 --> 01:09:41.440
And so now you have less testosterone.

1882
01:09:41.440 --> 01:09:43.400
Sorry, how do you have less testosterone?

1883
01:09:43.400 --> 01:09:46.400
So because there's more fat mass, there's more aromatase.

1884
01:09:46.400 --> 01:09:48.840
So that aromatase sees all this testosterone

1885
01:09:48.840 --> 01:09:51.280
and it converts it to estrogen.

1886
01:09:51.280 --> 01:09:52.280
Okay, or else...

1887
01:09:52.280 --> 01:09:54.400
And this is where they say they talk about man babes.

1888
01:09:54.400 --> 01:09:56.320
Yeah, so when you have a lot of estradiol

1889
01:09:56.320 --> 01:09:58.960
around, you can get man boobs.

1890
01:09:58.960 --> 01:10:01.160
You can get gynecomastia, so it's term for it.

1891
01:10:01.160 --> 01:10:05.120
So that's one, two is we see a rise in diabetes

1892
01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:07.640
and insulin resistance, which also causes

1893
01:10:07.640 --> 01:10:09.960
a decrease in testosterone.

1894
01:10:09.960 --> 01:10:13.680
We're seeing a rise in ultra-processed food intake

1895
01:10:13.680 --> 01:10:17.280
and that doesn't have the optimal nutrition

1896
01:10:17.280 --> 01:10:19.560
that you need to optimize testosterone.

1897
01:10:19.560 --> 01:10:23.280
So we're getting highly caloric,

1898
01:10:23.280 --> 01:10:24.760
which then leads to obesity.

1899
01:10:24.760 --> 01:10:27.600
We're getting lack of healthy fats

1900
01:10:27.600 --> 01:10:30.960
where all these things are super important for testosterone.

1901
01:10:30.960 --> 01:10:34.200
And the Mediterranean diet has been the most studied

1902
01:10:34.200 --> 01:10:36.280
and basically the anti-inflammatory diet

1903
01:10:36.280 --> 01:10:38.160
is what they found for testosterone.

1904
01:10:38.160 --> 01:10:41.600
So trying to just eat whole foods, unprocessed foods

1905
01:10:41.600 --> 01:10:45.760
as much as possible and minimizing the inflammatory foods.

1906
01:10:45.760 --> 01:10:47.400
Does testosterone having high testosterone

1907
01:10:47.400 --> 01:10:49.440
make me more fertile?

1908
01:10:49.440 --> 01:10:50.440
No, not necessarily.

1909
01:10:50.440 --> 01:10:52.200
So I think people inherently think

1910
01:10:52.200 --> 01:10:54.520
that the higher your testosterone level is

1911
01:10:54.520 --> 01:10:56.600
when you check your blood work, that that's better.

1912
01:10:56.600 --> 01:10:58.560
And that's not necessarily true.

1913
01:10:58.560 --> 01:11:00.120
Now, everyone is different.

1914
01:11:00.160 --> 01:11:04.400
And what I can't tell you is what your receptors look like,

1915
01:11:04.400 --> 01:11:07.320
what your testosterone or endrogen receptors look like.

1916
01:11:07.320 --> 01:11:09.960
How sensitive are they to testosterone?

1917
01:11:09.960 --> 01:11:11.280
And everyone's a little bit different.

1918
01:11:11.280 --> 01:11:12.960
When you look at the same guy,

1919
01:11:12.960 --> 01:11:14.640
or you look at two different guys,

1920
01:11:14.640 --> 01:11:16.680
their variability can be so much that a guy

1921
01:11:16.680 --> 01:11:19.560
who's 900 can be normal and a guy who's 500 can be normal

1922
01:11:19.560 --> 01:11:22.680
because everyone has individual genetic variations.

1923
01:11:22.680 --> 01:11:25.320
It's how their cells, how sensitive their cells are,

1924
01:11:25.320 --> 01:11:27.160
how many cells they have, you know,

1925
01:11:27.160 --> 01:11:29.880
how many lady cells do they have in their testicles,

1926
01:11:29.880 --> 01:11:32.800
the CAG repeats, which are these DNA repeats

1927
01:11:32.800 --> 01:11:34.480
on the receptor themselves.

1928
01:11:34.480 --> 01:11:36.640
People who have more are less sensitive

1929
01:11:36.640 --> 01:11:37.800
to the testosterone that's around.

1930
01:11:37.800 --> 01:11:40.440
So they need more testosterone to get the same result

1931
01:11:40.440 --> 01:11:43.520
whereas people who have less repeats have more sensitivity.

1932
01:11:43.520 --> 01:11:45.640
So they don't need as much testosterone.

1933
01:11:45.640 --> 01:11:47.200
And so everyone is individual.

1934
01:11:47.200 --> 01:11:48.560
And so that's why it's really important

1935
01:11:48.560 --> 01:11:50.360
to understand how are you feeling, right?

1936
01:11:50.360 --> 01:11:52.120
It's not about chasing a number.

1937
01:11:52.120 --> 01:11:55.760
And so absolutely we know that when your testosterone is low,

1938
01:11:55.760 --> 01:11:59.320
but low to 14 nanograms per desk later,

1939
01:11:59.320 --> 01:12:02.200
that your risk of mortality goes up by two.

1940
01:12:02.200 --> 01:12:04.400
So you are gonna double your risk of dying

1941
01:12:04.400 --> 01:12:06.240
if you have low testosterone.

1942
01:12:06.240 --> 01:12:09.480
But when you go super high, super physiologic,

1943
01:12:09.480 --> 01:12:11.360
meaning like 1800 or higher,

1944
01:12:11.360 --> 01:12:13.440
now you're putting yourself at risk for other things.

1945
01:12:13.440 --> 01:12:15.400
You can have blood thickening,

1946
01:12:15.400 --> 01:12:18.160
which is a no inside effect of testosterone replacement.

1947
01:12:18.160 --> 01:12:20.800
And that puts you at risk of stroke, heart attack,

1948
01:12:20.800 --> 01:12:21.880
heart disease.

1949
01:12:21.880 --> 01:12:24.920
Over long periods of time, it can affect your heart

1950
01:12:24.920 --> 01:12:28.520
because there's also heart muscle cells

1951
01:12:28.520 --> 01:12:31.680
that get exposed to this high level of testosterone.

1952
01:12:31.680 --> 01:12:34.880
And when that happens, they sort of change over time

1953
01:12:34.880 --> 01:12:36.920
and they become more collagen deposition,

1954
01:12:36.920 --> 01:12:38.520
they get more fibrosis.

1955
01:12:38.520 --> 01:12:40.120
And this makes them stiffer.

1956
01:12:40.120 --> 01:12:42.600
And so that you're not pumping blood as effectively

1957
01:12:42.600 --> 01:12:43.760
as you would otherwise.

1958
01:12:43.760 --> 01:12:47.800
And so there are real consequences to going too high.

1959
01:12:47.800 --> 01:12:50.200
There's also the side effects of having acne

1960
01:12:50.200 --> 01:12:52.880
of changes in mood in terms of aggression

1961
01:12:52.880 --> 01:12:54.480
and things when you get really high.

1962
01:12:54.480 --> 01:12:57.360
So really it's about finding what you feel good at.

1963
01:12:57.360 --> 01:12:59.240
More is not necessarily better.

1964
01:12:59.240 --> 01:13:01.880
Once your testosterone receptors are saturated,

1965
01:13:01.880 --> 01:13:03.680
meaning they're all bound to testosterone,

1966
01:13:03.680 --> 01:13:05.280
more doesn't help you.

1967
01:13:05.280 --> 01:13:06.680
It might help you get more muscles,

1968
01:13:06.680 --> 01:13:09.400
which is why people abuse anabolic steroids

1969
01:13:09.400 --> 01:13:11.120
and testosterone because it will continue

1970
01:13:11.120 --> 01:13:12.840
to help you get bigger muscles.

1971
01:13:12.840 --> 01:13:13.680
But that's it.

1972
01:13:13.680 --> 01:13:15.240
It's not gonna help you with your brain health,

1973
01:13:15.240 --> 01:13:17.960
your bone health, your sexual health,

1974
01:13:17.960 --> 01:13:19.000
your any of that.

1975
01:13:19.000 --> 01:13:22.760
Is there a way to visually spot a person

1976
01:13:22.760 --> 01:13:24.320
with low testosterone?

1977
01:13:24.320 --> 01:13:25.960
Are there visual clues?

1978
01:13:25.960 --> 01:13:29.520
Usually it's someone who feels very fatigued.

1979
01:13:29.520 --> 01:13:31.040
Like they can't get out of bed.

1980
01:13:31.040 --> 01:13:33.240
They feel just like so drained.

1981
01:13:33.240 --> 01:13:35.760
Usually they are a little bit more overweight.

1982
01:13:35.760 --> 01:13:36.680
Skinny fat?

1983
01:13:37.920 --> 01:13:38.840
Visceral out of posse.

1984
01:13:38.840 --> 01:13:40.680
I mean, you can't always tell if they're skinny.

1985
01:13:40.680 --> 01:13:42.520
It could be because they could have visceral out of posse,

1986
01:13:42.520 --> 01:13:45.560
which is meaning that the fat is around the organs, right?

1987
01:13:45.560 --> 01:13:48.160
And so you don't see like a big pot belly necessarily.

1988
01:13:49.240 --> 01:13:51.840
They may have really low sexual desire.

1989
01:13:51.840 --> 01:13:53.560
They may have decrease in mood.

1990
01:13:53.560 --> 01:13:54.760
What about skin and bones?

1991
01:13:54.760 --> 01:13:56.080
Does it impact skin and bones?

1992
01:13:56.080 --> 01:13:58.760
Yeah, so if you get high testosterone and get acne,

1993
01:13:58.760 --> 01:14:01.560
because it affects the sebum in the skin,

1994
01:14:01.560 --> 01:14:05.640
bone health, so testosterone converts to estradiol.

1995
01:14:05.640 --> 01:14:09.640
And estradiol is really important for bone metabolism.

1996
01:14:09.640 --> 01:14:12.200
And so when you have low testosterone,

1997
01:14:12.200 --> 01:14:14.120
you can also have low estrogen.

1998
01:14:14.120 --> 01:14:16.560
And when your estrogen gets very low,

1999
01:14:16.560 --> 01:14:18.720
you get a higher risk for fractures,

2000
01:14:18.720 --> 01:14:20.720
higher risk for osteoporosis.

2001
01:14:20.960 --> 01:14:24.520
And so that's where your bone health can be in danger.

2002
01:14:24.520 --> 01:14:27.640
And so that's why testosterone can help protect your bones

2003
01:14:27.640 --> 01:14:29.880
because of its conversion to estradiol.

2004
01:14:29.880 --> 01:14:31.360
If you do have low testosterone,

2005
01:14:31.360 --> 01:14:33.680
should you be considering taking anabolic steroids?

2006
01:14:33.680 --> 01:14:38.680
Like, and who is testosterone replacement therapy good for?

2007
01:14:38.920 --> 01:14:39.960
So I'm going to ask you a question,

2008
01:14:39.960 --> 01:14:41.760
why are you saying anabolic steroids?

2009
01:14:41.760 --> 01:14:43.280
I don't know, because I hear that people,

2010
01:14:43.280 --> 01:14:45.360
big bodybuilders take anabolic steroids.

2011
01:14:45.360 --> 01:14:47.120
The reason I ask you that is because people think

2012
01:14:47.120 --> 01:14:49.240
anabolic steroids and testosterone replacement therapy

2013
01:14:49.240 --> 01:14:50.200
are the same thing.

2014
01:14:50.200 --> 01:14:51.040
And they're not.

2015
01:14:51.040 --> 01:14:53.920
And so testosterone replacement therapy

2016
01:14:53.920 --> 01:14:56.880
is what is given to guys who have low testosterone.

2017
01:14:56.880 --> 01:14:59.040
If you have truly low testosterone,

2018
01:14:59.040 --> 01:15:01.200
there's a few things you can obviously improve testosterone

2019
01:15:01.200 --> 01:15:03.520
naturally by going back to those pillars of health

2020
01:15:03.520 --> 01:15:05.280
that we talked about, improve your sleep,

2021
01:15:05.280 --> 01:15:08.760
do a resistance training, avoid endocrine disrupting chemicals.

2022
01:15:08.760 --> 01:15:11.160
But if you are still low despite doing all those things,

2023
01:15:11.160 --> 01:15:13.680
or you're like so fatigued that you can't move your body

2024
01:15:13.680 --> 01:15:15.240
and like you really need to do it,

2025
01:15:15.240 --> 01:15:17.880
then I think testosterone replacement is very valuable.

2026
01:15:18.000 --> 01:15:20.320
And so testosterone replacement is getting you

2027
01:15:20.320 --> 01:15:25.160
to a level of testosterone that is within normal.

2028
01:15:25.160 --> 01:15:27.080
We're not trying to get you super high.

2029
01:15:27.080 --> 01:15:29.360
We're not trying to get you to become a bodybuilder.

2030
01:15:29.360 --> 01:15:32.840
We're trying to get you to normal what you should be.

2031
01:15:32.840 --> 01:15:34.920
And so anabolic steroids are different.

2032
01:15:34.920 --> 01:15:37.120
Anabolic steroids are like all these different

2033
01:15:37.120 --> 01:15:40.120
oral pills and injectables and things that work on muscle

2034
01:15:40.120 --> 01:15:43.600
as well as work on your energy receptors.

2035
01:15:43.600 --> 01:15:46.560
And so those are typically things that people are taking

2036
01:15:46.640 --> 01:15:50.320
on their own, they're kind of self directing their care.

2037
01:15:50.320 --> 01:15:53.200
And they're not really monitoring their testosterone

2038
01:15:53.200 --> 01:15:55.120
or they don't really care how high they go.

2039
01:15:55.120 --> 01:15:58.800
They just want the end product of looking muscular.

2040
01:15:58.800 --> 01:16:02.200
And so they are getting really high testosterone.

2041
01:16:02.200 --> 01:16:06.280
And that has its own host of concerns in addition

2042
01:16:06.280 --> 01:16:09.320
to the ones we talked about like blood clots and heart attack.

2043
01:16:09.320 --> 01:16:11.720
But there's a 15 times higher risk

2044
01:16:11.800 --> 01:16:14.640
of having premature heart failure

2045
01:16:14.640 --> 01:16:18.960
and a 122 times more risk of cardiac death

2046
01:16:18.960 --> 01:16:20.880
when you're taking anabolic steroids

2047
01:16:20.880 --> 01:16:23.000
for the purposes of increasing muscle mass

2048
01:16:23.000 --> 01:16:26.200
and not getting really high in your testosterone.

2049
01:16:26.200 --> 01:16:29.000
So it is a real serious issue

2050
01:16:29.000 --> 01:16:30.640
when you take anabolic steroids

2051
01:16:30.640 --> 01:16:33.800
because it can have real serious health consequences.

2052
01:16:33.800 --> 01:16:35.520
I've always imagined that once I have kids,

2053
01:16:35.520 --> 01:16:39.040
so I think I'm scared that if I have testosterone replacement

2054
01:16:39.040 --> 01:16:41.000
therapy at this age of 33,

2055
01:16:41.000 --> 01:16:42.440
I might impact my fatality.

2056
01:16:42.440 --> 01:16:43.880
You'd absolutely will.

2057
01:16:43.880 --> 01:16:44.720
Okay, good.

2058
01:16:44.720 --> 01:16:46.280
So I'm not going to do that

2059
01:16:46.280 --> 01:16:50.200
until I've had all four of the kids as many as I can.

2060
01:16:50.200 --> 01:16:52.880
And then I figured when I hit like 45,

2061
01:16:52.880 --> 01:16:55.640
then I'll go on testosterone replacement therapy.

2062
01:16:55.640 --> 01:16:57.160
Is this a good strategy?

2063
01:16:57.160 --> 01:16:59.240
Well, first of all, I would want to know why

2064
01:16:59.240 --> 01:17:00.280
you want to be on testosterone.

2065
01:17:00.280 --> 01:17:01.480
Is your testosterone low?

2066
01:17:01.480 --> 01:17:02.320
I have no idea.

2067
01:17:02.320 --> 01:17:03.960
Are you having any symptoms?

2068
01:17:03.960 --> 01:17:07.360
I mean, you live a very high powered, busy life.

2069
01:17:07.360 --> 01:17:10.720
And so I can guarantee your stress is probably not

2070
01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:13.480
under control, like probably you're not sleeping great.

2071
01:17:13.480 --> 01:17:15.840
And not to say that those are things that, you know,

2072
01:17:15.840 --> 01:17:18.120
you can't do in addition to taking testosterone

2073
01:17:18.120 --> 01:17:20.960
if your testosterone is indeed low.

2074
01:17:20.960 --> 01:17:22.760
But I think the important thing is realizing

2075
01:17:22.760 --> 01:17:24.720
that it's only going to help you

2076
01:17:24.720 --> 01:17:27.360
if your testosterone receptors are not fully saturated

2077
01:17:27.360 --> 01:17:28.760
and giving you more testosterone

2078
01:17:28.760 --> 01:17:30.040
is going to saturate them.

2079
01:17:30.040 --> 01:17:32.440
Doesn't it just drop anyway with age?

2080
01:17:32.440 --> 01:17:33.280
It does.

2081
01:17:33.280 --> 01:17:36.640
So it drops about 1% a year on average.

2082
01:17:36.640 --> 01:17:38.920
Some people drop less, some people drop more.

2083
01:17:38.960 --> 01:17:41.040
So if you look at someone who is healthy

2084
01:17:41.040 --> 01:17:43.160
and they have a normal testosterone,

2085
01:17:43.160 --> 01:17:46.240
they usually won't become what we call hypogonadil

2086
01:17:46.240 --> 01:17:48.840
or have low testosterone even as they age

2087
01:17:48.840 --> 01:17:50.480
because the drop is so low.

2088
01:17:50.480 --> 01:17:51.600
It's only 1% a year.

2089
01:17:51.600 --> 01:17:54.440
But if you add on these comorbid conditions,

2090
01:17:54.440 --> 01:17:57.760
if you add on a high stress life, if you add on poor sleep,

2091
01:17:57.760 --> 01:18:00.960
if you add on exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals,

2092
01:18:00.960 --> 01:18:04.760
you're going to see that number come down much higher.

2093
01:18:04.760 --> 01:18:07.760
It's actually, I pulled up a graph here

2094
01:18:07.800 --> 01:18:10.600
that shows testosterone decline with age

2095
01:18:10.600 --> 01:18:13.400
and it's actually not that steep.

2096
01:18:13.400 --> 01:18:14.240
It's not.

2097
01:18:14.240 --> 01:18:15.520
It is going to decline,

2098
01:18:15.520 --> 01:18:17.880
but it may not decline to the point

2099
01:18:17.880 --> 01:18:19.120
where you need testosterone.

2100
01:18:19.120 --> 01:18:20.560
So not everyone needs it.

2101
01:18:20.560 --> 01:18:21.920
Depending on the data you look at,

2102
01:18:21.920 --> 01:18:25.720
20 to 40% of guys have low testosterone.

2103
01:18:25.720 --> 01:18:28.000
And when you look at the number that gets treated,

2104
01:18:28.000 --> 01:18:29.080
it's like 2%.

2105
01:18:29.080 --> 01:18:31.880
And it starts declining from about 20 years old.

2106
01:18:31.880 --> 01:18:34.560
Yeah, it depends on the person, 20 to 40 years old,

2107
01:18:34.560 --> 01:18:36.760
it's probably around more around 30 to 40.

2108
01:18:36.760 --> 01:18:38.800
And the reason we come up with these numbers,

2109
01:18:38.800 --> 01:18:42.000
these guidelines to guide us on what's normal and what's not,

2110
01:18:42.000 --> 01:18:44.280
is because you look at population-based data

2111
01:18:44.280 --> 01:18:46.120
and you look at when these symptoms arise.

2112
01:18:46.120 --> 01:18:47.480
And there are like clear numbers.

2113
01:18:47.480 --> 01:18:51.560
You may start having bone loss around 300.

2114
01:18:51.560 --> 01:18:56.000
You might start having decreased sexual frequency of thoughts

2115
01:18:56.000 --> 01:18:57.400
at 215.

2116
01:18:57.400 --> 01:19:02.400
You might start feeling less physical vigor around 290.

2117
01:19:02.400 --> 01:19:05.000
And so there are numbers that we know

2118
01:19:05.000 --> 01:19:06.480
based on population-based data

2119
01:19:06.480 --> 01:19:08.240
that we're seeing these numbers decline.

2120
01:19:08.240 --> 01:19:09.800
Now, the other thing to think about

2121
01:19:09.800 --> 01:19:12.720
when you're looking at testosterone is free testosterone.

2122
01:19:12.720 --> 01:19:15.520
So testosterone comes in different forms in the body.

2123
01:19:15.520 --> 01:19:17.680
It comes bound and unbound.

2124
01:19:17.680 --> 01:19:21.560
So 45% of testosterone is bound to SHBG,

2125
01:19:21.560 --> 01:19:24.360
which is a molecule protein

2126
01:19:24.360 --> 01:19:26.760
that is really tightly binds to testosterone.

2127
01:19:26.760 --> 01:19:28.960
Doesn't let it go for your body to use.

2128
01:19:28.960 --> 01:19:31.440
Then there's some that's bound to albumin,

2129
01:19:31.440 --> 01:19:32.840
which is sort of loosely bound.

2130
01:19:32.840 --> 01:19:36.200
And then there's 2% that's free, one to 2% that's free.

2131
01:19:36.200 --> 01:19:39.040
And that's what we say is the most available

2132
01:19:39.040 --> 01:19:40.920
to your body for use.

2133
01:19:40.920 --> 01:19:43.800
And there's actually good data that looks at free testosterone

2134
01:19:43.800 --> 01:19:46.000
and the levels of free testosterone

2135
01:19:46.000 --> 01:19:48.480
are correlated with these symptoms as well.

2136
01:19:48.480 --> 01:19:50.840
And so you do have to look at the big picture.

2137
01:19:50.840 --> 01:19:54.000
So I always check a total testosterone as well as an SHBG

2138
01:19:54.000 --> 01:19:57.280
because some people can have elevated SHBG.

2139
01:19:57.280 --> 01:19:59.840
We do a thyroid dysfunction, due to aging,

2140
01:19:59.840 --> 01:20:01.880
due to genetic variability.

2141
01:20:01.880 --> 01:20:05.120
And women, SHBG goes up when you take oral contraceptives

2142
01:20:05.120 --> 01:20:08.360
and it stays up for life, if you take oral contraceptives.

2143
01:20:08.360 --> 01:20:10.320
So it can affect their free testosterone.

2144
01:20:10.320 --> 01:20:12.400
The other thing to think about testosterone is it's for life.

2145
01:20:12.400 --> 01:20:16.160
Once you take it, your body stops making its own testosterone.

2146
01:20:16.160 --> 01:20:17.600
Many people over years would notice

2147
01:20:17.600 --> 01:20:20.800
that their testicles get smaller

2148
01:20:20.800 --> 01:20:23.120
because their body stops making its own testosterone.

2149
01:20:23.120 --> 01:20:25.440
So it's not something to take lightly.

2150
01:20:25.440 --> 01:20:27.520
Now, if you want, say you were low right now

2151
01:20:27.520 --> 01:20:29.600
and you wanted to conceive, there are ways

2152
01:20:29.640 --> 01:20:32.920
where you can take other pharmaceuticals

2153
01:20:32.920 --> 01:20:35.080
that will naturally boost your own production,

2154
01:20:35.080 --> 01:20:37.800
like HCG or Clomet or Enclomaphine.

2155
01:20:37.800 --> 01:20:40.400
These work basically in different ways

2156
01:20:40.400 --> 01:20:43.440
to either tell your brain that, hey, we need more testosterone

2157
01:20:43.440 --> 01:20:45.960
or they send, they mimic the signals

2158
01:20:45.960 --> 01:20:48.760
that tell your testicles to make more testosterone.

2159
01:20:48.760 --> 01:20:50.200
And so there are ways to do it

2160
01:20:50.200 --> 01:20:53.600
and you definitely need someone who's well versed

2161
01:20:53.600 --> 01:20:55.480
in managing hormone management.

2162
01:20:55.480 --> 01:20:58.000
But there are things that you can do if you're low.

2163
01:20:58.000 --> 01:21:00.800
But again, I don't think it's, once you start these things,

2164
01:21:00.800 --> 01:21:02.520
you can't go, I mean, you can get off of it,

2165
01:21:02.520 --> 01:21:03.680
but it's sort of a process

2166
01:21:03.680 --> 01:21:05.760
and it's not something that everyone will do

2167
01:21:05.760 --> 01:21:07.680
because you're gonna feel good on testosterone

2168
01:21:07.680 --> 01:21:09.760
if you're taking it and then when you get off it

2169
01:21:09.760 --> 01:21:11.920
because your body is like no longer making its own,

2170
01:21:11.920 --> 01:21:13.240
you're gonna feel horrible.

2171
01:21:13.240 --> 01:21:15.760
So do you think most 50 plus your old men

2172
01:21:15.760 --> 01:21:20.280
should be taking testosterone replacement therapies?

2173
01:21:20.280 --> 01:21:22.360
Only if they're symptomatic and they're low, right?

2174
01:21:22.360 --> 01:21:23.920
So when you make them the average man,

2175
01:21:23.920 --> 01:21:24.960
the average 50 year old man,

2176
01:21:24.960 --> 01:21:28.200
if this is the average, feel better on a daily basis.

2177
01:21:28.200 --> 01:21:30.480
Not necessarily because if they are normal,

2178
01:21:30.480 --> 01:21:32.200
like I said, if their testosterone receptors

2179
01:21:32.200 --> 01:21:35.040
are already fully saturated, it's not gonna change, right?

2180
01:21:35.040 --> 01:21:37.160
It's not gonna change the, like I said,

2181
01:21:37.160 --> 01:21:38.960
it may make their muscles look bigger,

2182
01:21:38.960 --> 01:21:41.200
but it's not gonna change their cognition,

2183
01:21:41.200 --> 01:21:42.440
it's not gonna change their mood,

2184
01:21:42.440 --> 01:21:44.240
it's not gonna change their sex drive,

2185
01:21:44.240 --> 01:21:45.960
it's not gonna change their erections

2186
01:21:45.960 --> 01:21:48.920
when their testosterone receptors are fully saturated.

2187
01:21:48.920 --> 01:21:51.920
And you know in this graph, what is showing the decline here,

2188
01:21:51.920 --> 01:21:54.320
has that got anything to do with whether the testosterone

2189
01:21:54.320 --> 01:21:55.840
levels are fully saturated because...

2190
01:21:55.840 --> 01:21:57.160
No, you can't tell from that.

2191
01:21:57.160 --> 01:21:58.000
You can't tell from that.

2192
01:21:58.000 --> 01:21:59.120
So you could have low testosterone,

2193
01:21:59.120 --> 01:21:59.960
but still be fully saturated.

2194
01:21:59.960 --> 01:22:01.320
That's why we talk about symptoms, right?

2195
01:22:01.320 --> 01:22:03.040
Because that's how I can tell.

2196
01:22:03.040 --> 01:22:06.240
I think that's part of what being a doctor is, right?

2197
01:22:06.240 --> 01:22:08.720
Talking to your patients and figuring out what's going on

2198
01:22:08.720 --> 01:22:09.800
with them and what their symptoms are

2199
01:22:09.800 --> 01:22:11.440
and making sure it's nothing else, right?

2200
01:22:11.440 --> 01:22:13.680
You can have low thyroid and that can mimic

2201
01:22:13.680 --> 01:22:16.760
what low testosterone feels.

2202
01:22:16.760 --> 01:22:18.400
Like you can have a high prolactin

2203
01:22:18.400 --> 01:22:21.040
because you might have a benign tumor in your brain

2204
01:22:21.040 --> 01:22:22.560
that's secreting prolactin

2205
01:22:22.560 --> 01:22:24.120
and that can reduce your testosterone.

2206
01:22:24.120 --> 01:22:26.800
So that's the reason to get a full evaluation

2207
01:22:26.800 --> 01:22:28.880
to make sure there's nothing else that we're missing.

2208
01:22:28.880 --> 01:22:30.960
That's causing you to have these symptoms

2209
01:22:30.960 --> 01:22:33.200
if your other levels are normal.

2210
01:22:33.200 --> 01:22:34.040
Okay, that makes sense.

2211
01:22:34.040 --> 01:22:37.080
So just because my testosterone levels would be low,

2212
01:22:37.080 --> 01:22:41.040
doesn't mean I'm not symptomatic,

2213
01:22:41.040 --> 01:22:43.040
doesn't mean that I should necessarily just assume

2214
01:22:43.040 --> 01:22:44.680
that I need testosterone replacement therapy.

2215
01:22:44.680 --> 01:22:45.680
Exactly.

2216
01:22:45.680 --> 01:22:46.680
Okay.

2217
01:22:46.680 --> 01:22:48.920
Yeah, I think most of my male friends are just assuming

2218
01:22:48.920 --> 01:22:51.520
that once we hit 50, we're all on the testosterone.

2219
01:22:51.520 --> 01:22:54.160
I mean, look, I think when if you need it,

2220
01:22:54.160 --> 01:22:55.200
it's a great drug.

2221
01:22:55.200 --> 01:22:58.600
It's a great option to improve your quality of life.

2222
01:22:58.600 --> 01:23:01.320
It's obviously preventing bone loss.

2223
01:23:01.320 --> 01:23:03.200
It's improving your longevity.

2224
01:23:03.200 --> 01:23:06.120
It's preventing, hopefully having some benefit

2225
01:23:06.120 --> 01:23:07.920
in terms of cardiometabolic health.

2226
01:23:07.920 --> 01:23:10.520
And so yeah, absolutely if you need it,

2227
01:23:10.520 --> 01:23:12.560
but it's not something that like everyone should just take

2228
01:23:12.560 --> 01:23:13.840
because why not, right?

2229
01:23:13.840 --> 01:23:16.120
Like it's just, when you play with hormones

2230
01:23:16.120 --> 01:23:18.120
it's serious business, you know?

2231
01:23:18.120 --> 01:23:19.720
I guess a lot of men are self conscious in a way

2232
01:23:19.720 --> 01:23:21.120
that they don't often admit

2233
01:23:21.120 --> 01:23:23.000
and they want to have big muscles

2234
01:23:23.000 --> 01:23:24.160
and they want to feel strong.

2235
01:23:24.160 --> 01:23:27.440
And this is the problem I'm seeing with younger guys right now

2236
01:23:27.440 --> 01:23:30.880
is that there's a lot of young kids taking antibiotics

2237
01:23:30.880 --> 01:23:34.480
because there's so much pressure to look a certain way, right?

2238
01:23:34.480 --> 01:23:37.760
Because nowadays, how do you meet people on social media

2239
01:23:37.760 --> 01:23:40.920
through like swiping and all you see is what they look like?

2240
01:23:40.920 --> 01:23:42.480
And so there's this pressure.

2241
01:23:42.480 --> 01:23:44.320
And like I'll say to the gym, like I'm like at the gym

2242
01:23:44.320 --> 01:23:46.440
and there's these young kids home, like there is no way

2243
01:23:46.440 --> 01:23:49.960
you are naturally that built at that age, right?

2244
01:23:50.000 --> 01:23:51.680
Like unless you've been lifting

2245
01:23:51.680 --> 01:23:53.400
since you were like seven years old.

2246
01:23:53.400 --> 01:23:55.600
And so, and of course there are some,

2247
01:23:55.600 --> 01:23:59.040
but it is serious because one, it causes infertility, right?

2248
01:23:59.040 --> 01:24:01.520
When you're on testosterone replacement,

2249
01:24:01.520 --> 01:24:04.760
after about 18 months, 70% of people

2250
01:24:04.760 --> 01:24:07.480
on testosterone replacement will be infertile.

2251
01:24:07.480 --> 01:24:08.320
17.

2252
01:24:08.320 --> 01:24:09.760
70, 70%.

2253
01:24:09.760 --> 01:24:10.760
70.

2254
01:24:10.760 --> 01:24:13.520
And even as soon as like 10 weeks,

2255
01:24:13.520 --> 01:24:16.640
we see some people having drops in their sperm count.

2256
01:24:16.640 --> 01:24:19.720
So it's variable with how quickly you're gonna see

2257
01:24:19.760 --> 01:24:23.440
impacts on your fertility, but it absolutely happens.

2258
01:24:23.440 --> 01:24:26.720
And it can come back for the large majority of people,

2259
01:24:26.720 --> 01:24:29.120
but how long it takes depends on your age

2260
01:24:29.120 --> 01:24:31.680
and how long you were on testosterone replacement therapy.

2261
01:24:31.680 --> 01:24:34.120
And in some cases, it can take as long as two years

2262
01:24:34.120 --> 01:24:34.960
to come back.

2263
01:24:34.960 --> 01:24:37.280
I really need to get my testosterone levels checked.

2264
01:24:37.280 --> 01:24:39.480
Yeah, you're right.

2265
01:24:39.480 --> 01:24:41.360
But also you should get your scene analysis checked.

2266
01:24:41.360 --> 01:24:42.280
And that's not done now.

2267
01:24:42.280 --> 01:24:44.720
Good, good, because that's also a biomarker of health.

2268
01:24:44.720 --> 01:24:48.080
We've seen that people who have poor seeming parameters,

2269
01:24:48.080 --> 01:24:50.000
they have higher rates of mortality

2270
01:24:50.000 --> 01:24:51.960
and they actually live, when you look at age,

2271
01:24:51.960 --> 01:24:55.240
like what age people die, they die younger,

2272
01:24:55.240 --> 01:24:57.240
compared to people, and it's dose dependent.

2273
01:24:57.240 --> 01:25:01.880
So if you have like normal concentration of sperm

2274
01:25:01.880 --> 01:25:03.840
and then it keeps going down and down and down,

2275
01:25:03.840 --> 01:25:07.880
if you look at the ages, like they live to 78, 77, 76,

2276
01:25:07.880 --> 01:25:09.560
like you can actually see it come down,

2277
01:25:09.560 --> 01:25:11.000
except for people who have no sperm,

2278
01:25:11.000 --> 01:25:12.440
because those are usually genetic disorders,

2279
01:25:12.440 --> 01:25:13.920
those are live a little longer,

2280
01:25:13.920 --> 01:25:18.000
because it's not necessarily due to cardiometabolic issues.

2281
01:25:18.000 --> 01:25:20.440
But it's basically a reflection of your overall health.

2282
01:25:23.440 --> 01:25:25.080
Steve, what are you doing?

2283
01:25:25.080 --> 01:25:27.240
Just making myself a delicious coffee.

2284
01:25:27.240 --> 01:25:28.920
From the freezer?

2285
01:25:28.920 --> 01:25:30.520
From the freezer, if you're not kind of up onto it.

2286
01:25:30.520 --> 01:25:31.440
No.

2287
01:25:31.440 --> 01:25:34.000
Oh my gosh, this is going to change your life.

2288
01:25:34.000 --> 01:25:35.840
A couple of months ago, the founder of this business

2289
01:25:35.840 --> 01:25:39.640
called Matt sent a big shipment of this coffee

2290
01:25:39.640 --> 01:25:40.600
to our office in London.

2291
01:25:40.600 --> 01:25:42.600
What most people don't know is that the processing of coffee

2292
01:25:42.600 --> 01:25:44.440
takes out a lot of the taste.

2293
01:25:44.440 --> 01:25:46.760
So what they do is they flash freeze it

2294
01:25:46.800 --> 01:25:50.280
at the optimal moment when it's most tasty.

2295
01:25:50.280 --> 01:25:52.280
And they send you in the post to the coffee

2296
01:25:52.280 --> 01:25:54.320
in these little frozen ice cubes.

2297
01:25:54.320 --> 01:25:56.120
Now, Matt sent a big shipment to my office.

2298
01:25:56.120 --> 01:25:57.120
I moved it to the kitchen.

2299
01:25:57.120 --> 01:25:58.680
I said to the team, knock yourselves out.

2300
01:25:58.680 --> 01:26:01.080
And then I saw so many messages in our Slack channel

2301
01:26:01.080 --> 01:26:04.040
of people going, oh my God, what the hell is that?

2302
01:26:04.040 --> 01:26:05.160
It's so delicious.

2303
01:26:05.160 --> 01:26:07.160
All I have to do is pop it out in the morning

2304
01:26:07.160 --> 01:26:09.040
using the little button on the back of this thing.

2305
01:26:09.040 --> 01:26:14.040
I pour my hot water in and I mix it and that is done.

2306
01:26:14.040 --> 01:26:18.480
You can get $30 off your first order of comatier coffee

2307
01:26:18.480 --> 01:26:21.480
if you go to comatier.com slash Stephen,

2308
01:26:21.480 --> 01:26:24.080
try it and please Instagram DM me,

2309
01:26:24.080 --> 01:26:27.840
link to me and let me know if you love it as much as I do.

2310
01:26:27.840 --> 01:26:30.400
Make sure you keep what I'm about to say to yourself.

2311
01:26:30.400 --> 01:26:32.320
I'm inviting 10,000 of you to come

2312
01:26:32.320 --> 01:26:34.400
even deeper into the direviceo.

2313
01:26:34.400 --> 01:26:36.560
Welcome to my inner circle.

2314
01:26:36.560 --> 01:26:39.000
This is a brand new private community

2315
01:26:39.000 --> 01:26:39.840
that I'm launching to the world.

2316
01:26:39.840 --> 01:26:42.160
We have so many incredible things that happen

2317
01:26:42.200 --> 01:26:44.120
that you are never shown.

2318
01:26:44.120 --> 01:26:45.840
We have the briefs that are on my pad

2319
01:26:45.840 --> 01:26:47.320
when I'm recording the conversation.

2320
01:26:47.320 --> 01:26:49.000
We have clips we've never released.

2321
01:26:49.000 --> 01:26:51.280
We have behind the scenes conversations with the guests

2322
01:26:51.280 --> 01:26:54.560
and also the episodes that we've never, ever released.

2323
01:26:54.560 --> 01:26:56.920
And so much more.

2324
01:26:56.920 --> 01:26:58.920
In the circle you'll have direct access to me,

2325
01:26:58.920 --> 01:27:00.920
you can tell us what you want this show to be,

2326
01:27:00.920 --> 01:27:02.240
who you want us to interview

2327
01:27:02.240 --> 01:27:05.040
and the types of conversations you would love us to have.

2328
01:27:05.040 --> 01:27:07.480
But remember for now, we're only inviting

2329
01:27:07.480 --> 01:27:10.640
the first 10,000 people that joined before it closes.

2330
01:27:10.640 --> 01:27:12.360
So if you want to join our private close community,

2331
01:27:12.360 --> 01:27:13.840
head to the link in the description below

2332
01:27:13.840 --> 01:27:17.560
or go to doaccircle.com.

2333
01:27:17.560 --> 01:27:18.640
I will speak to you then.

2334
01:27:22.840 --> 01:27:24.760
One of the things I was quite surprised by,

2335
01:27:24.760 --> 01:27:27.880
I'll be honest, is when I went on your YouTube channel,

2336
01:27:27.880 --> 01:27:31.160
one of your very high performing videos,

2337
01:27:31.160 --> 01:27:34.240
I think it had 31 million views

2338
01:27:34.240 --> 01:27:36.000
was about enlarging your penis.

2339
01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:36.840
Yes.

2340
01:27:37.840 --> 01:27:42.400
I didn't know that so many men were interested

2341
01:27:42.400 --> 01:27:44.760
in ways to enlarge their penis.

2342
01:27:44.760 --> 01:27:47.120
Well, it's interesting because when you look at the data,

2343
01:27:47.120 --> 01:27:48.560
more men want to...

2344
01:27:48.560 --> 01:27:52.280
So let's say most guys would love to be taller, right?

2345
01:27:52.280 --> 01:27:53.440
If you're an average height man,

2346
01:27:53.440 --> 01:27:55.160
most guys would love to be taller, right?

2347
01:27:55.160 --> 01:27:56.000
Yeah, true.

2348
01:27:56.000 --> 01:27:58.040
More men want to have a longer penis

2349
01:27:58.040 --> 01:27:59.440
than they want to be taller.

2350
01:27:59.440 --> 01:28:00.440
Really?

2351
01:28:02.360 --> 01:28:03.680
Wow.

2352
01:28:03.680 --> 01:28:04.520
Wow.

2353
01:28:05.440 --> 01:28:07.280
Why is this?

2354
01:28:07.280 --> 01:28:11.400
Well, I think a lot of people...

2355
01:28:11.400 --> 01:28:13.400
It starts at a young age, I have sons, right?

2356
01:28:13.400 --> 01:28:16.000
And so I see it, like they talk about their penis

2357
01:28:16.000 --> 01:28:18.360
in such a way like very early in life.

2358
01:28:18.360 --> 01:28:19.960
Like, oh my god, my penis is so big

2359
01:28:19.960 --> 01:28:22.000
or it should be so big or whatever.

2360
01:28:22.000 --> 01:28:27.160
And it becomes this society thing about

2361
01:28:27.160 --> 01:28:29.480
who's got a bigger penis, it's very interesting.

2362
01:28:29.480 --> 01:28:31.840
But there's a lot of pressure to feel

2363
01:28:32.640 --> 01:28:35.360
and a lot of discussion around bigger is better, right?

2364
01:28:35.360 --> 01:28:37.160
It's talked about in media.

2365
01:28:37.160 --> 01:28:38.880
It's subtly joked about.

2366
01:28:38.880 --> 01:28:41.920
It is everywhere you look, people are talking about

2367
01:28:41.920 --> 01:28:44.480
like being well in doubt as being better.

2368
01:28:44.480 --> 01:28:45.920
But initially on my podcast,

2369
01:28:45.920 --> 01:28:49.120
we interviewed the guy who has the largest

2370
01:28:49.120 --> 01:28:51.120
medically verified penis.

2371
01:28:51.120 --> 01:28:54.040
It's I think it's like 13 or 14 inches in length.

2372
01:28:54.040 --> 01:28:56.760
And he actually has a lot of trouble

2373
01:28:56.760 --> 01:28:59.400
because it's so large that people don't want to have sex

2374
01:28:59.400 --> 01:29:01.560
with him and it's uncomfortable for them.

2375
01:29:01.560 --> 01:29:05.800
And so it's not all roses and sunshine on the other side.

2376
01:29:05.800 --> 01:29:08.160
But the reality is that many people feel

2377
01:29:08.160 --> 01:29:10.040
what's called small penis anxiety.

2378
01:29:10.040 --> 01:29:12.880
And even if they have a normal size penis,

2379
01:29:12.880 --> 01:29:16.640
they feel consumed with how the size of their penis is.

2380
01:29:16.640 --> 01:29:18.480
And so that's why this video did.

2381
01:29:18.480 --> 01:29:21.240
So while I naively had no idea how many people

2382
01:29:21.240 --> 01:29:23.320
would resonate with because I'm not a guy, right?

2383
01:29:23.320 --> 01:29:24.520
And I see patients all the time,

2384
01:29:24.520 --> 01:29:26.000
but at that time in my career,

2385
01:29:26.000 --> 01:29:27.840
people weren't coming to me to talk about it.

2386
01:29:27.840 --> 01:29:31.440
And so I realized that there's so many people

2387
01:29:31.440 --> 01:29:33.240
quietly feeling insecure.

2388
01:29:33.240 --> 01:29:35.960
And we talk a lot about women having body image issues.

2389
01:29:35.960 --> 01:29:37.240
Men do too, right?

2390
01:29:37.240 --> 01:29:40.240
They feel insecure about the size of their penis

2391
01:29:40.240 --> 01:29:42.520
because also they're seeing guys on pornography

2392
01:29:42.520 --> 01:29:46.320
who have very well endowed fallacies.

2393
01:29:46.320 --> 01:29:49.080
And they chose to be porn actors for a reason, right?

2394
01:29:49.080 --> 01:29:51.120
Because they are naturally well endowed.

2395
01:29:51.120 --> 01:29:54.120
And so you're comparing yourself to the outliers.

2396
01:29:54.120 --> 01:29:58.480
And the average penis is about 5.3 to 5.5 inches erect.

2397
01:29:58.480 --> 01:30:01.640
But when you look at what do women want,

2398
01:30:01.640 --> 01:30:04.320
they will say on average, they want a six inch penis.

2399
01:30:04.320 --> 01:30:07.400
But when you look at the kind of sex toys they buy,

2400
01:30:07.400 --> 01:30:09.680
and they did this study because they were looking at people

2401
01:30:09.680 --> 01:30:12.120
who they were trying to decide what kind of,

2402
01:30:12.120 --> 01:30:15.480
when they were developing fallacies for trans people,

2403
01:30:15.480 --> 01:30:17.880
like they reconstruct fallacies.

2404
01:30:17.880 --> 01:30:19.480
They were making them too girthy.

2405
01:30:19.480 --> 01:30:20.640
And they were like, well, we need to figure out

2406
01:30:20.640 --> 01:30:22.440
what girth women want.

2407
01:30:22.440 --> 01:30:26.280
And so they looked at what women buy online,

2408
01:30:26.360 --> 01:30:28.520
what are the most purchased sex toy?

2409
01:30:28.520 --> 01:30:31.360
And it's actually pretty close to average.

2410
01:30:31.360 --> 01:30:32.880
Do you say 5.2 inches?

2411
01:30:32.880 --> 01:30:35.560
5.2 to 5.5, depending on the study you're looking at.

2412
01:30:35.560 --> 01:30:36.560
Yeah, correct.

2413
01:30:39.000 --> 01:30:42.760
And what size demand think the average is?

2414
01:30:42.760 --> 01:30:44.840
Oh, they think it's like six or seven inches.

2415
01:30:44.840 --> 01:30:46.280
Oh, okay, so they think the average is bigger.

2416
01:30:46.280 --> 01:30:47.960
And also, how does age come into this?

2417
01:30:47.960 --> 01:30:49.480
Because I'm presuming that when I get older,

2418
01:30:49.480 --> 01:30:51.040
my penis is gonna shrink or something.

2419
01:30:51.040 --> 01:30:53.960
If you have good blood flow to your penis, it shouldn't shrink.

2420
01:30:54.000 --> 01:30:58.160
So like I said earlier, if you stop having nighttime erections

2421
01:30:58.160 --> 01:30:59.360
or you're not having erections,

2422
01:30:59.360 --> 01:31:01.440
now you're no longer getting blood flow to your penis

2423
01:31:01.440 --> 01:31:03.280
and it will shrink over time.

2424
01:31:03.280 --> 01:31:04.600
Also, if you're gaining weight,

2425
01:31:04.600 --> 01:31:06.400
it will appear that it's shrinking

2426
01:31:06.400 --> 01:31:08.960
because you're getting more fat over here.

2427
01:31:08.960 --> 01:31:11.160
So if you think about your penis here,

2428
01:31:11.160 --> 01:31:13.640
this is the fat right above this bone.

2429
01:31:13.640 --> 01:31:15.520
And as this fat gets more and more,

2430
01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:17.720
you're seeing less and less of the penis.

2431
01:31:17.720 --> 01:31:20.240
And is there a way to enlarge the penis?

2432
01:31:20.280 --> 01:31:22.840
So there are many ways that have been tried,

2433
01:31:22.840 --> 01:31:25.480
discussed, attempted.

2434
01:31:25.480 --> 01:31:28.320
So there's definitely surgeries that you can get,

2435
01:31:28.320 --> 01:31:31.280
but there's not a lot of surgeons who do a lot of peanut

2436
01:31:31.280 --> 01:31:34.520
out lengthening surgeries and they have lots of complications,

2437
01:31:34.520 --> 01:31:36.520
like very high rates of complications

2438
01:31:36.520 --> 01:31:39.400
because the penis is a very vascular organ.

2439
01:31:39.400 --> 01:31:42.840
And the thing is that when you have the tiniest difference

2440
01:31:42.840 --> 01:31:44.480
on your penis, you notice it, right?

2441
01:31:44.480 --> 01:31:46.560
Like I have guys coming up with the tiniest little thing

2442
01:31:46.560 --> 01:31:48.440
on their penis and they're like, is this okay?

2443
01:31:48.440 --> 01:31:51.400
Like this is new and like luckily it's nothing, right?

2444
01:31:51.400 --> 01:31:52.880
But I'm like, they notice it.

2445
01:31:52.880 --> 01:31:54.240
You notice it when something's wrong.

2446
01:31:54.240 --> 01:31:55.720
So imagine you have a surgery

2447
01:31:55.720 --> 01:31:57.840
and now something changes, right?

2448
01:31:57.840 --> 01:32:01.920
So it is really difficult to sort of replicate

2449
01:32:01.920 --> 01:32:04.840
exactly a normal penis when you're lengthening it

2450
01:32:04.840 --> 01:32:06.040
through surgery.

2451
01:32:06.040 --> 01:32:09.120
So I don't recommend surgery for lengthening penis.

2452
01:32:09.120 --> 01:32:13.200
There is a safer way and it has been shown to help

2453
01:32:13.200 --> 01:32:15.000
and that's using a traction device.

2454
01:32:15.040 --> 01:32:18.520
So a traction device, we have one here.

2455
01:32:18.520 --> 01:32:21.480
This is one brand, you can get many of these online

2456
01:32:21.480 --> 01:32:24.560
and you can put your penis in this device.

2457
01:32:24.560 --> 01:32:27.920
It really, I like, I feel like to get like shivers

2458
01:32:27.920 --> 01:32:29.640
when I watch you do this to this penis.

2459
01:32:29.640 --> 01:32:32.560
So you would wrap it, it would be more comfortable

2460
01:32:32.560 --> 01:32:34.480
than just putting this like directly on your penis.

2461
01:32:34.480 --> 01:32:35.520
If you guys that can't see it,

2462
01:32:35.520 --> 01:32:37.800
she's clamping the end of the penis into this.

2463
01:32:37.800 --> 01:32:41.840
Into this device and then you sort of lengthen it,

2464
01:32:41.840 --> 01:32:44.240
extend it with this 30 minutes twice a day

2465
01:32:44.280 --> 01:32:45.360
for this particular device.

2466
01:32:45.360 --> 01:32:47.760
They've actually done some research on this one,

2467
01:32:47.760 --> 01:32:50.800
30 minutes twice a day and there's a whole protocol

2468
01:32:50.800 --> 01:32:53.200
on their website and it does show improvements

2469
01:32:53.200 --> 01:32:54.600
in length about two centimeters,

2470
01:32:54.600 --> 01:32:58.040
but it is a commitment to increasing length

2471
01:32:58.040 --> 01:32:59.720
and to doing this process.

2472
01:32:59.720 --> 01:33:01.720
So just on those numbers, two centimeters

2473
01:33:01.720 --> 01:33:03.680
are increasing over what period of time it does that?

2474
01:33:03.680 --> 01:33:05.640
About three to six months, depending, yeah.

2475
01:33:05.640 --> 01:33:06.880
And is it permanent?

2476
01:33:06.880 --> 01:33:07.920
So that's what we don't know.

2477
01:33:07.920 --> 01:33:10.120
I mean, most of the studies stop at, you know,

2478
01:33:10.120 --> 01:33:12.160
once they get the result and we don't know

2479
01:33:12.200 --> 01:33:14.960
but if you stop, will it just revert back to normal?

2480
01:33:14.960 --> 01:33:15.840
I don't know.

2481
01:33:15.840 --> 01:33:17.560
And so the other thing about this particular

2482
01:33:17.560 --> 01:33:19.960
traction device that's nice is if you have a curvature

2483
01:33:19.960 --> 01:33:21.520
in the penis, like you develop something

2484
01:33:21.520 --> 01:33:25.160
called perverones disease, this device can actually

2485
01:33:25.160 --> 01:33:27.720
curve a little bit away from, if you have,

2486
01:33:27.720 --> 01:33:30.080
like let's say you have an indentation on the top

2487
01:33:30.080 --> 01:33:32.360
of the penis, it can actually bend away from that

2488
01:33:32.360 --> 01:33:34.880
and it can help straighten out the penis.

2489
01:33:34.880 --> 01:33:38.040
So that's actually a really nice utilization for it

2490
01:33:38.040 --> 01:33:40.720
because for some people that can be really traumatic

2491
01:33:40.760 --> 01:33:42.760
and devastating to have a change

2492
01:33:42.760 --> 01:33:44.760
in the way your penis appears

2493
01:33:44.760 --> 01:33:46.360
because it starts curving all of a sudden

2494
01:33:46.360 --> 01:33:48.160
and this is safe and effective

2495
01:33:48.160 --> 01:33:51.080
and you can have bruising, it can be slightly uncomfortable

2496
01:33:51.080 --> 01:33:54.080
but it's, you're not gonna really hurt yourself

2497
01:33:54.080 --> 01:33:55.960
too much by doing something like this.

2498
01:33:55.960 --> 01:33:58.360
I thought a curved penis would hit the g-spot better.

2499
01:33:58.360 --> 01:34:01.640
Yeah, sometimes a slight curve can be beneficial

2500
01:34:01.640 --> 01:34:04.440
for some people but again, I think like when you notice

2501
01:34:04.440 --> 01:34:07.600
that there's a dramatic change, you're gonna do that more

2502
01:34:07.600 --> 01:34:09.120
when you come.

2503
01:34:09.120 --> 01:34:10.840
I mean, you're at the end of.

2504
01:34:10.840 --> 01:34:11.680
It's okay.

2505
01:34:13.440 --> 01:34:14.840
I'm just gonna figure out how this works.

2506
01:34:14.840 --> 01:34:18.280
So I get the penis, I put it through.

2507
01:34:18.280 --> 01:34:19.440
Yeah.

2508
01:34:19.440 --> 01:34:20.520
Clump it down.

2509
01:34:20.520 --> 01:34:21.720
And you wanna put it at your normal

2510
01:34:21.720 --> 01:34:24.120
and then you'll just slightly advance the length.

2511
01:34:24.120 --> 01:34:25.520
You're not gonna pull crazy,

2512
01:34:25.520 --> 01:34:27.360
it's gonna do a little bit of traction

2513
01:34:27.360 --> 01:34:28.440
so it's not uncomfortable.

2514
01:34:28.440 --> 01:34:30.200
It's slight, like just a slight tension.

2515
01:34:30.200 --> 01:34:31.800
It shouldn't be like that.

2516
01:34:31.800 --> 01:34:33.920
It should be a much less tension.

2517
01:34:33.920 --> 01:34:38.920
But it is, I mean, they can vary in price from $100 to $500.

2518
01:34:39.320 --> 01:34:40.920
So it's a one time cost.

2519
01:34:40.920 --> 01:34:42.800
It is not, like I said, not dangerous.

2520
01:34:42.800 --> 01:34:45.720
What is dangerous is when people try to do

2521
01:34:45.720 --> 01:34:48.760
something that became popular in TikTok called gelking.

2522
01:34:48.760 --> 01:34:52.160
And gelking is where you use your hands

2523
01:34:52.160 --> 01:34:54.760
and you make like an okay sign with your fingers

2524
01:34:54.760 --> 01:34:58.360
and you're like stretching the penis with your hands.

2525
01:34:58.360 --> 01:35:02.080
And this can be dangerous because you can create micro tears

2526
01:35:02.080 --> 01:35:03.920
on the penis and we in the Erology community

2527
01:35:03.920 --> 01:35:07.000
have seen plenty of patients who have now developed

2528
01:35:07.000 --> 01:35:09.280
a reptile dysfunction after doing gelking

2529
01:35:09.280 --> 01:35:12.160
because they've now created damage to their penis.

2530
01:35:12.160 --> 01:35:15.000
And so I really caution people

2531
01:35:15.000 --> 01:35:19.640
because there is so much despair around sexual function

2532
01:35:19.640 --> 01:35:23.440
around penile health that people are willing to try things

2533
01:35:23.440 --> 01:35:25.400
and they might really hurt themselves.

2534
01:35:25.400 --> 01:35:27.600
No joke, I had a patient the other day asked me

2535
01:35:27.600 --> 01:35:29.920
if he should drink hydrogen peroxide

2536
01:35:29.920 --> 01:35:32.880
because he saw some ad that said hydrogen peroxide

2537
01:35:32.880 --> 01:35:37.040
will fix your erections and I said, please don't.

2538
01:35:37.040 --> 01:35:39.120
This is, you know, but he really was like

2539
01:35:39.120 --> 01:35:41.920
seriously, earnestly asking me this question.

2540
01:35:41.920 --> 01:35:44.200
And I, you know, I didn't want to shame him by any means

2541
01:35:44.200 --> 01:35:46.320
and I was like, no, you know, this is actually not safe

2542
01:35:46.320 --> 01:35:48.960
and it's not gonna help you and there's no pill,

2543
01:35:48.960 --> 01:35:51.640
there's no drink, there's no anything

2544
01:35:51.640 --> 01:35:54.280
that's gonna give you a longer penis.

2545
01:35:54.280 --> 01:35:57.280
What are the cases that you see that break you up?

2546
01:35:57.280 --> 01:35:59.240
You know, I've seen, so there are,

2547
01:35:59.240 --> 01:36:01.320
I've seen patients who've had surgery

2548
01:36:01.320 --> 01:36:04.360
to lengthen their penis and they are above average

2549
01:36:04.360 --> 01:36:07.400
when they at baseline and they have these surgeries

2550
01:36:07.400 --> 01:36:09.920
to lengthen their penis and they have a bad outcome

2551
01:36:09.920 --> 01:36:12.480
and now their penis is disfigured forever.

2552
01:36:12.480 --> 01:36:15.960
And that's what really, you never forget that

2553
01:36:15.960 --> 01:36:18.320
because that person knowing the risks and benefits

2554
01:36:18.320 --> 01:36:20.600
perhaps made a choice and that choice

2555
01:36:20.600 --> 01:36:21.680
didn't go the way they wanted

2556
01:36:21.680 --> 01:36:22.840
and now they have to live with that

2557
01:36:22.840 --> 01:36:26.120
for the rest of their life and that's really sad.

2558
01:36:26.120 --> 01:36:29.760
Gosh, imagine that, Chrysler.

2559
01:36:29.760 --> 01:36:31.240
Yeah.

2560
01:36:31.240 --> 01:36:33.640
Well, and it just, it doesn't work anymore.

2561
01:36:33.640 --> 01:36:37.080
Well, like the one patient I'm thinking of,

2562
01:36:37.080 --> 01:36:41.560
he had a, like it basically developed a scar

2563
01:36:41.560 --> 01:36:44.000
all at the top of the penis so it was like disfigured

2564
01:36:44.000 --> 01:36:48.680
essentially and so it was really sad.

2565
01:36:50.080 --> 01:36:53.120
Before I hit puberty, I definitely had a penis anxiety

2566
01:36:53.120 --> 01:36:55.560
because I was the youngest in my year at school

2567
01:36:55.560 --> 01:36:59.560
and I was short, very, very short, very small.

2568
01:36:59.560 --> 01:37:03.040
I remember what it felt like to hide my dick

2569
01:37:04.000 --> 01:37:05.680
when I was around like guys in the changing room

2570
01:37:05.680 --> 01:37:06.560
and stuff like that.

2571
01:37:10.000 --> 01:37:11.960
After puberty, things changed.

2572
01:37:11.960 --> 01:37:13.720
And what I want people to understand,

2573
01:37:13.720 --> 01:37:15.840
I think more than anything is that

2574
01:37:15.840 --> 01:37:18.160
you don't need a long penis to pleasure a partner.

2575
01:37:18.160 --> 01:37:19.680
We just talked about how the clitoris

2576
01:37:19.680 --> 01:37:23.480
is the most reliable route to orgasm, right?

2577
01:37:23.600 --> 01:37:27.160
And so you don't need a penis to stimulate the clitoris.

2578
01:37:27.160 --> 01:37:30.720
You can use your mouth, your fingers, you can use a toy.

2579
01:37:30.720 --> 01:37:35.200
There's so many ways to help your partner achieve pleasure.

2580
01:37:35.200 --> 01:37:38.560
And yes, of course there are a small subset of women

2581
01:37:38.560 --> 01:37:40.520
who really appreciate a large phallus,

2582
01:37:40.520 --> 01:37:44.160
but the large majority of women, if you look at survey data,

2583
01:37:44.160 --> 01:37:46.840
are very happy with the size of their partner,

2584
01:37:46.840 --> 01:37:50.000
are very content with average or slightly above average

2585
01:37:50.000 --> 01:37:51.240
or slightly below average,

2586
01:37:51.240 --> 01:37:53.200
as long as they are feeling intimate

2587
01:37:53.240 --> 01:37:54.400
and they're feeling pleasure.

2588
01:37:54.400 --> 01:37:57.720
And so I think there's a misnomer that people think,

2589
01:37:57.720 --> 01:37:59.240
if I have a longer penis,

2590
01:37:59.240 --> 01:38:01.800
I'm going to be able to pleasure my partner more.

2591
01:38:01.800 --> 01:38:02.800
As it relates to women,

2592
01:38:02.800 --> 01:38:05.560
is there a different size vaginas?

2593
01:38:05.560 --> 01:38:07.400
Yes, so just like there's averages,

2594
01:38:07.400 --> 01:38:08.720
there's averages in females.

2595
01:38:08.720 --> 01:38:12.760
And so average vaginal length is about three and a half inches.

2596
01:38:12.760 --> 01:38:15.680
So when women get aroused, it expands

2597
01:38:15.680 --> 01:38:18.600
and widens and lengthens to about double.

2598
01:38:18.600 --> 01:38:23.200
So the average woman can easily accommodate the average penis,

2599
01:38:23.200 --> 01:38:25.000
maybe slightly larger than average.

2600
01:38:25.000 --> 01:38:27.240
And so I think generally speaking,

2601
01:38:27.240 --> 01:38:31.040
knowing that you will be able to fit in the average woman

2602
01:38:31.040 --> 01:38:34.560
and you will be able to please her with the size of your phallus,

2603
01:38:34.560 --> 01:38:37.560
and like I said, penetration is not as important.

2604
01:38:37.560 --> 01:38:40.200
In fact, only about 85% of women orgasm

2605
01:38:40.200 --> 01:38:41.560
through penetration alone.

2606
01:38:41.560 --> 01:38:44.640
They need literal stimulation to achieve climax.

2607
01:38:44.640 --> 01:38:47.200
And so again, penetration feels good.

2608
01:38:47.200 --> 01:38:51.280
I tell guys it's like somebody rubbing your testicles

2609
01:38:51.280 --> 01:38:53.200
or your perinium that feels good,

2610
01:38:53.200 --> 01:38:55.280
but it's not going to make your orgasm.

2611
01:38:55.280 --> 01:38:56.800
And so penetrating, yeah,

2612
01:38:56.800 --> 01:38:59.160
if you're getting a lot of a literal stimulation

2613
01:38:59.160 --> 01:39:02.520
because maybe she has a thinner, her literal shaft

2614
01:39:02.520 --> 01:39:04.800
is closer to the vaginal canal,

2615
01:39:04.800 --> 01:39:07.520
maybe the size of the penis matters more.

2616
01:39:07.520 --> 01:39:09.640
But for a lot of women, it's not going to be sufficient

2617
01:39:09.640 --> 01:39:12.200
and they're going to need some directed literal stimulation.

2618
01:39:12.200 --> 01:39:14.720
Why do different vaginas feel different?

2619
01:39:15.680 --> 01:39:19.800
And I guess the inverse is also the case where different penises

2620
01:39:19.800 --> 01:39:21.040
will feel remarkably different,

2621
01:39:21.040 --> 01:39:23.120
even if they're the same size roughly.

2622
01:39:23.120 --> 01:39:25.080
And you can have sex with somebody and go,

2623
01:39:25.080 --> 01:39:26.840
it feels really good.

2624
01:39:26.840 --> 01:39:31.120
I mean, I think again, it's like the motion in the ocean,

2625
01:39:31.120 --> 01:39:32.920
like how you use your,

2626
01:39:32.920 --> 01:39:34.400
so let's start with the vaginas first.

2627
01:39:34.400 --> 01:39:39.240
So when a vagina has more pelvic floor strength,

2628
01:39:39.240 --> 01:39:43.000
they may be able to like tense around the penis better,

2629
01:39:43.000 --> 01:39:45.280
like they may be able to sort of grab the penis

2630
01:39:45.280 --> 01:39:47.200
with their pelvic floor a little stronger

2631
01:39:47.200 --> 01:39:48.640
versus someone who doesn't.

2632
01:39:48.640 --> 01:39:50.480
And that's where I think some people get worried

2633
01:39:50.480 --> 01:39:52.400
when I say, oh, you need to relax your pelvic floor.

2634
01:39:52.400 --> 01:39:54.840
They're like, oh, I don't want to be looser, right?

2635
01:39:54.840 --> 01:39:56.120
And that's not going to happen

2636
01:39:56.120 --> 01:39:58.320
if you have a normally functioning pelvic floor.

2637
01:39:58.320 --> 01:40:00.240
So the penis is going in here, right?

2638
01:40:00.240 --> 01:40:01.080
Correct.

2639
01:40:01.080 --> 01:40:04.760
So if you're a woman and you do pelvic floor exercises,

2640
01:40:04.760 --> 01:40:05.600
they're strengthening.

2641
01:40:05.600 --> 01:40:06.720
It feels tighter.

2642
01:40:06.720 --> 01:40:09.040
Well, you're able to contract

2643
01:40:09.040 --> 01:40:11.840
and squeeze those muscles during sex better, right?

2644
01:40:12.560 --> 01:40:14.120
Yes, but we don't want you to be tighter.

2645
01:40:14.120 --> 01:40:16.480
We want you to be able to squeeze the muscles

2646
01:40:16.480 --> 01:40:17.680
and relax the muscles.

2647
01:40:17.680 --> 01:40:19.880
Use them like a normal muscle, like your bicep,

2648
01:40:19.880 --> 01:40:21.480
you squeeze and relax, squeeze and relax.

2649
01:40:21.480 --> 01:40:23.640
We don't want it to be constantly squeezed.

2650
01:40:23.640 --> 01:40:25.040
But to the mind, it will feel tighter.

2651
01:40:25.040 --> 01:40:26.600
You will perceive it as tighter,

2652
01:40:26.600 --> 01:40:28.360
but it will not be that she's actually tighter,

2653
01:40:28.360 --> 01:40:30.360
it just means that maybe her pelvic floor muscles

2654
01:40:30.360 --> 01:40:32.320
are doing a better job.

2655
01:40:32.320 --> 01:40:33.720
So that's for the female.

2656
01:40:33.720 --> 01:40:38.240
For the male, it's generally like how the penis moves

2657
01:40:38.240 --> 01:40:41.200
and how the positioning is and where it's,

2658
01:40:41.200 --> 01:40:42.960
it may be gross, that's different.

2659
01:40:42.960 --> 01:40:45.240
It may be the way that you're moving

2660
01:40:45.240 --> 01:40:46.720
in the vaginal canal.

2661
01:40:46.720 --> 01:40:49.160
And that may be why it feels different.

2662
01:40:49.160 --> 01:40:51.840
They often say that if you've got big feet or big hands,

2663
01:40:51.840 --> 01:40:54.920
you know, like people think you have a big penis.

2664
01:40:54.920 --> 01:40:56.400
Not necessarily true.

2665
01:40:56.400 --> 01:40:58.440
So there's actually no evidence

2666
01:40:58.440 --> 01:41:01.000
that big hands big feet correlate to mean our size.

2667
01:41:01.000 --> 01:41:05.240
There's one study in Japan where they looked at nose length.

2668
01:41:05.240 --> 01:41:09.120
And so the longer your nose is from the bridge down

2669
01:41:09.120 --> 01:41:13.360
to the tip, that is, at least the Japanese population

2670
01:41:13.360 --> 01:41:16.000
that they studied was correlated with the length of the penis.

2671
01:41:19.000 --> 01:41:21.200
People also think tall people have big penises.

2672
01:41:21.200 --> 01:41:22.360
Not necessarily.

2673
01:41:24.600 --> 01:41:26.880
But nose length, there's some correlation

2674
01:41:26.880 --> 01:41:28.000
in a study in Japan.

2675
01:41:28.000 --> 01:41:28.840
Yes.

2676
01:41:28.840 --> 01:41:29.920
Okay.

2677
01:41:29.920 --> 01:41:31.360
Let's just check my nose.

2678
01:41:31.360 --> 01:41:33.000
Okay.

2679
01:41:33.000 --> 01:41:35.800
The last thing I want to talk to you about is a Zempec.

2680
01:41:35.800 --> 01:41:38.000
And how this relates to everything we've talked about today,

2681
01:41:38.000 --> 01:41:39.280
the desire of attraction sex.

2682
01:41:39.280 --> 01:41:42.720
Is there any early data emerging that shows any correlations?

2683
01:41:42.720 --> 01:41:43.720
Yeah.

2684
01:41:43.720 --> 01:41:45.400
So a Zempec, there's sort of benefits

2685
01:41:45.400 --> 01:41:46.960
and there's potential downsides.

2686
01:41:46.960 --> 01:41:49.720
So the benefits are that when you're on a Zempec,

2687
01:41:49.720 --> 01:41:52.040
we see improvements in metabolic diseases.

2688
01:41:52.040 --> 01:41:54.000
They have improvements in diabetes,

2689
01:41:54.000 --> 01:41:57.160
improvements in heart disease, improvements in overall health.

2690
01:41:57.160 --> 01:41:58.000
Right.

2691
01:41:58.000 --> 01:42:01.080
And so that is going to mean that your blood vessels are healthier.

2692
01:42:01.080 --> 01:42:03.920
You're more able to get blood flow to your genitals.

2693
01:42:03.920 --> 01:42:07.000
You're going to have stronger sexual function and arousal.

2694
01:42:07.000 --> 01:42:07.840
Right.

2695
01:42:07.840 --> 01:42:09.160
So that's great.

2696
01:42:09.160 --> 01:42:11.160
The other thing is that you are losing weight.

2697
01:42:11.160 --> 01:42:12.200
So you feel better.

2698
01:42:12.200 --> 01:42:17.120
You feel more like your body image is feeling good about yourself.

2699
01:42:17.120 --> 01:42:19.560
Also for men, remember I talked about this fat pad

2700
01:42:19.560 --> 01:42:22.920
right above your penis, that's getting smaller.

2701
01:42:22.920 --> 01:42:24.920
And so now you can see more of your penis.

2702
01:42:24.920 --> 01:42:26.440
So you may have heard of a Zempec penis

2703
01:42:26.440 --> 01:42:28.680
where people are saying, my penis is getting longer.

2704
01:42:28.680 --> 01:42:30.400
It's not actually that your penis is getting longer.

2705
01:42:30.400 --> 01:42:31.960
It's that this fat is going down

2706
01:42:31.960 --> 01:42:33.960
to now you're seeing more of your penis.

2707
01:42:33.960 --> 01:42:35.320
Which makes it look longer.

2708
01:42:35.320 --> 01:42:36.320
Yes.

2709
01:42:36.320 --> 01:42:37.160
Exactly.

2710
01:42:37.160 --> 01:42:40.880
Well, it is reality to the person looking, right.

2711
01:42:40.880 --> 01:42:43.440
And so those are all great things.

2712
01:42:43.440 --> 01:42:44.880
And I think that's wonderful.

2713
01:42:44.880 --> 01:42:46.640
Now, the other part of it is

2714
01:42:46.640 --> 01:42:48.160
Zempec works on the brain.

2715
01:42:48.160 --> 01:42:49.960
And it works on the reward pathway.

2716
01:42:49.960 --> 01:42:52.080
So you now see food and you don't feel like

2717
01:42:52.080 --> 01:42:54.320
it's that much of a reward so you don't chase after.

2718
01:42:54.320 --> 01:42:56.240
You have less desire for food.

2719
01:42:56.240 --> 01:42:58.040
There's emerging data that we're seeing people

2720
01:42:58.040 --> 01:43:01.440
on these medications as GLP ones have less desire for.

2721
01:43:01.440 --> 01:43:03.560
Let's say gambling, let's say shopping,

2722
01:43:03.560 --> 01:43:06.960
let's say alcohol, smoking, whatever it is.

2723
01:43:07.840 --> 01:43:09.400
And so there's a theoretical

2724
01:43:09.400 --> 01:43:10.960
because it works on the same pathways

2725
01:43:10.960 --> 01:43:14.040
that it could also decrease desire for sex.

2726
01:43:14.040 --> 01:43:16.720
And I think that there's so many people

2727
01:43:16.720 --> 01:43:19.280
on these medications, there's so many metabolic benefits

2728
01:43:19.280 --> 01:43:21.880
that I worry that people may not even realize

2729
01:43:21.880 --> 01:43:24.440
that their sexual desire is changing.

2730
01:43:24.440 --> 01:43:26.760
They might just be like, oh, you know,

2731
01:43:26.760 --> 01:43:29.240
I'm eating less, I look great, everything's wonderful.

2732
01:43:29.240 --> 01:43:30.800
But like slowly in the background,

2733
01:43:30.800 --> 01:43:32.920
they're like, oh, maybe my desire is less

2734
01:43:32.920 --> 01:43:35.320
and maybe it's creating discord in their relationship.

2735
01:43:35.360 --> 01:43:37.760
It's hard to say because we don't have data yet.

2736
01:43:37.760 --> 01:43:38.960
So yeah, I think it's just something

2737
01:43:38.960 --> 01:43:41.440
that you should be aware of that if you start feeling

2738
01:43:41.440 --> 01:43:44.000
like you have less desire for sex

2739
01:43:44.000 --> 01:43:46.080
or maybe you're like, man, I just really don't feel

2740
01:43:46.080 --> 01:43:48.440
into anything, talk to your doctor

2741
01:43:48.440 --> 01:43:50.200
because maybe your dose is just too high

2742
01:43:50.200 --> 01:43:52.120
and maybe it just needs to come down a little bit.

2743
01:43:52.120 --> 01:43:54.680
And again, we don't know yet, but I do worry about this

2744
01:43:54.680 --> 01:43:57.600
because I feel like we're gonna start seeing it.

2745
01:43:58.560 --> 01:44:01.160
Is it possible to do studies on this type of thing?

2746
01:44:01.160 --> 01:44:03.880
Absolutely, so you can take people starting

2747
01:44:03.920 --> 01:44:08.040
on a topic and you can say, hey, here is or any GLP one.

2748
01:44:08.040 --> 01:44:09.080
You know, there's questionnaires.

2749
01:44:09.080 --> 01:44:11.640
So like for women, there's a female sexual function index

2750
01:44:11.640 --> 01:44:13.440
for men, there's Adam, which is a questionnaire

2751
01:44:13.440 --> 01:44:16.120
about testosterone, but there's sexual desire questionnaires

2752
01:44:16.120 --> 01:44:18.760
that you can use and you can take it at the beginning

2753
01:44:18.760 --> 01:44:21.000
and then you can take it as they increase their dose

2754
01:44:21.000 --> 01:44:23.000
and see if there's a change, right?

2755
01:44:23.000 --> 01:44:25.160
In terms of their sexual desire.

2756
01:44:25.160 --> 01:44:28.680
You said at the start about knowing how to talk to your partner.

2757
01:44:28.680 --> 01:44:30.880
I think like intimacy desire, maybe the conversation's

2758
01:44:30.880 --> 01:44:32.840
like with your partner, how to have that conversation

2759
01:44:32.840 --> 01:44:33.680
and there's a problem.

2760
01:44:33.680 --> 01:44:35.720
Yeah, I wish I could say there's like a script

2761
01:44:35.720 --> 01:44:37.480
that you can follow and it's gonna work,

2762
01:44:37.480 --> 01:44:38.600
but everyone's so different.

2763
01:44:38.600 --> 01:44:41.680
But I think that important thing is like not giving up

2764
01:44:41.680 --> 01:44:44.520
because what happens is because we don't ever talk

2765
01:44:44.520 --> 01:44:46.800
about sex, when you bring it up, it's immediately like,

2766
01:44:46.800 --> 01:44:48.000
oh my god, is something wrong?

2767
01:44:48.000 --> 01:44:49.520
Like did I do something wrong?

2768
01:44:49.520 --> 01:44:50.280
Do you not like me?

2769
01:44:50.280 --> 01:44:51.280
Am I not attractive?

2770
01:44:51.280 --> 01:44:53.680
You're automatically going down the rabbit hole

2771
01:44:53.680 --> 01:44:56.280
of worry and concern and instead of dealing with it,

2772
01:44:56.280 --> 01:44:57.120
you're just gonna shut it down.

2773
01:44:57.120 --> 01:44:58.680
No, I don't wanna talk about it, right?

2774
01:44:58.680 --> 01:45:00.760
Especially if like maybe you haven't connected

2775
01:45:00.760 --> 01:45:03.360
intimately in a while and like you just don't wanna deal

2776
01:45:03.360 --> 01:45:06.280
with that or you have other stressors in life,

2777
01:45:06.280 --> 01:45:09.520
maybe you're not feeling like very good about yourself.

2778
01:45:09.520 --> 01:45:11.440
And so you're like, well, I don't really feel sexy

2779
01:45:11.440 --> 01:45:12.920
so I don't wanna have sex.

2780
01:45:12.920 --> 01:45:15.720
And so I think really understanding that whatever reaction

2781
01:45:15.720 --> 01:45:17.720
you get from your partner, when you do talk to them,

2782
01:45:17.720 --> 01:45:19.320
it's not about you, it's just usually

2783
01:45:19.320 --> 01:45:20.360
about how they're feeling.

2784
01:45:20.360 --> 01:45:22.520
And so don't stress about that.

2785
01:45:22.520 --> 01:45:27.320
And to like anything that is worth having requires work.

2786
01:45:27.320 --> 01:45:30.360
So having a good sex life, having intimacy,

2787
01:45:30.360 --> 01:45:33.160
over the long haul with someone,

2788
01:45:33.160 --> 01:45:34.880
if you are committed to that relationship,

2789
01:45:34.880 --> 01:45:36.320
it is worth working for.

2790
01:45:36.320 --> 01:45:38.920
It is worth dealing with a little bit of discord

2791
01:45:38.920 --> 01:45:39.760
to get there.

2792
01:45:39.760 --> 01:45:42.200
And so I tell people, when you wanna talk about sex,

2793
01:45:42.200 --> 01:45:43.960
first of all, don't do it in the bedroom,

2794
01:45:43.960 --> 01:45:46.040
don't do it right before or after sex.

2795
01:45:46.040 --> 01:45:48.280
Do it at a time where you are both calm,

2796
01:45:48.280 --> 01:45:49.720
relax, maybe you're out for a walk,

2797
01:45:49.720 --> 01:45:50.800
maybe you're in the car,

2798
01:45:50.800 --> 01:45:52.360
so you're not like looking directly at each other

2799
01:45:52.360 --> 01:45:53.880
and you're kinda parallel.

2800
01:45:53.880 --> 01:45:55.520
And always start with a positive thing.

2801
01:45:55.520 --> 01:45:58.480
Like I really enjoy this about our relationship

2802
01:45:58.520 --> 01:46:01.120
and I would love if we could talk about this.

2803
01:46:01.120 --> 01:46:03.720
And maybe they're gonna be like,

2804
01:46:03.720 --> 01:46:04.520
I'm not ready for that.

2805
01:46:04.520 --> 01:46:06.360
And just say, maybe we can come up with a time

2806
01:46:06.360 --> 01:46:08.640
where we can talk about this that works for you, right?

2807
01:46:08.640 --> 01:46:10.960
Let them feel like they're coming to the conversation

2808
01:46:10.960 --> 01:46:13.200
with like they're not being ambushed

2809
01:46:13.200 --> 01:46:14.240
or like talking about something.

2810
01:46:14.240 --> 01:46:15.600
And then be curious.

2811
01:46:15.600 --> 01:46:17.360
I think the big thing is like being curious.

2812
01:46:17.360 --> 01:46:18.720
Like what's going on with you?

2813
01:46:18.720 --> 01:46:22.000
Like I wanna be there for you, I love you.

2814
01:46:22.000 --> 01:46:24.200
You know, I miss what we used to have

2815
01:46:24.200 --> 01:46:25.520
or I miss this about us.

2816
01:46:25.520 --> 01:46:28.240
And I think that there's always these misconceptions.

2817
01:46:28.320 --> 01:46:29.800
I hear it all the time, right?

2818
01:46:29.800 --> 01:46:32.040
It'll be like, this partner only wants sex

2819
01:46:32.040 --> 01:46:33.880
and this partner never wants sex.

2820
01:46:33.880 --> 01:46:35.760
And you know, and that's it.

2821
01:46:35.760 --> 01:46:37.160
Like that's the end of the conversation.

2822
01:46:37.160 --> 01:46:40.400
But the reality is that it's somewhere in between.

2823
01:46:40.400 --> 01:46:44.320
So typically women tend to view sex as like

2824
01:46:44.320 --> 01:46:46.760
added stress sometimes when they're already stressed.

2825
01:46:46.760 --> 01:46:49.320
Like they're like, oh, it's just one more thing to do.

2826
01:46:49.320 --> 01:46:51.360
Whereas men look at it as a stress relief.

2827
01:46:51.360 --> 01:46:53.920
So one, you're coming at it from two different angles.

2828
01:46:53.920 --> 01:46:55.920
The other thing is men aren't really taught

2829
01:46:55.920 --> 01:46:57.240
how to be intimate.

2830
01:46:57.320 --> 01:47:01.480
And so for a lot of men, sex is their version of intimacy.

2831
01:47:01.480 --> 01:47:02.880
Like that's how they connect.

2832
01:47:02.880 --> 01:47:05.080
That's how they feel connected with a partner.

2833
01:47:05.080 --> 01:47:08.600
And so oftentimes when they're doing these

2834
01:47:08.600 --> 01:47:10.560
initiations or attempts at sex,

2835
01:47:10.560 --> 01:47:12.640
it feels like they're being greedy or it feels like they're,

2836
01:47:12.640 --> 01:47:13.840
they just want sex.

2837
01:47:13.840 --> 01:47:16.200
And I think we have to reframe how we look at that.

2838
01:47:16.200 --> 01:47:18.440
Like sex is not just sex, it is intimacy.

2839
01:47:18.440 --> 01:47:21.440
It is being together, connecting with another human being.

2840
01:47:21.440 --> 01:47:23.560
So how do we do that, right?

2841
01:47:23.560 --> 01:47:26.840
And like how do we make that sex worth having?

2842
01:47:26.840 --> 01:47:29.640
We get into this frame where we have sex

2843
01:47:29.640 --> 01:47:33.240
as like in a hurry quick, like just got to get this done way.

2844
01:47:33.240 --> 01:47:34.240
I just need to get an orgasm.

2845
01:47:34.240 --> 01:47:35.880
I just need to get a release.

2846
01:47:35.880 --> 01:47:38.520
But sex is supposed to be something we look forward to.

2847
01:47:38.520 --> 01:47:40.240
It's supposed to be something that we're excited about.

2848
01:47:40.240 --> 01:47:41.800
And so we have to build that in.

2849
01:47:41.800 --> 01:47:44.160
We have to sort of like build the environment

2850
01:47:44.160 --> 01:47:46.600
where sex can happen.

2851
01:47:46.600 --> 01:47:49.800
So it may mean like, hey, we are affectionate during the day.

2852
01:47:49.800 --> 01:47:52.160
Maybe we send a lovey text message.

2853
01:47:52.160 --> 01:47:55.400
Maybe I give you a hug, I caress your back,

2854
01:47:55.400 --> 01:47:57.000
I tell you you look beautiful.

2855
01:47:57.000 --> 01:48:00.080
I'm showing you gratitude for how much I care about you

2856
01:48:00.080 --> 01:48:01.760
in other ways.

2857
01:48:01.760 --> 01:48:03.920
I think just really taking the time to understand

2858
01:48:03.920 --> 01:48:06.160
why your partner feels the way they do.

2859
01:48:06.160 --> 01:48:07.880
I'm curious about on that communication point

2860
01:48:07.880 --> 01:48:11.880
about how different genders in heterosexual couples

2861
01:48:11.880 --> 01:48:13.640
have different sort of taboos and things

2862
01:48:13.640 --> 01:48:16.760
that are just a bit sensitive.

2863
01:48:16.760 --> 01:48:19.200
And I was looking at the variance between men and women.

2864
01:48:19.200 --> 01:48:22.240
And the top one for men was around performance anxiety.

2865
01:48:22.240 --> 01:48:24.800
So like admitting to things like a rectal dysfunction.

2866
01:48:24.800 --> 01:48:26.960
Because it feels like it's so intrinsically connected

2867
01:48:26.960 --> 01:48:28.360
to masculinity.

2868
01:48:28.360 --> 01:48:29.600
And you feel like a failure as a man,

2869
01:48:29.600 --> 01:48:32.560
if you can't get a erection and pleasure or partner.

2870
01:48:32.560 --> 01:48:35.600
And then for women it was talking about prioritizing pleasure

2871
01:48:35.600 --> 01:48:42.600
and asking for war full play or specific simulation

2872
01:48:42.600 --> 01:48:44.800
around the clitoris or something like that.

2873
01:48:44.800 --> 01:48:46.920
Because they don't want to be labeled as high maintenance

2874
01:48:46.920 --> 01:48:49.640
or too much hard work, et cetera.

2875
01:48:49.640 --> 01:48:52.280
And it's interesting that on that walk with your partner,

2876
01:48:52.280 --> 01:48:56.920
there are different things that will trigger each of you.

2877
01:48:56.920 --> 01:48:58.600
Other ones who were in were pain and discomfort,

2878
01:48:58.600 --> 01:49:01.560
bringing that up, body image, and the mental load,

2879
01:49:01.560 --> 01:49:02.880
explaining why you aren't in the mood.

2880
01:49:02.880 --> 01:49:04.720
And other ones for men are expressing

2881
01:49:04.720 --> 01:49:06.800
non-sexual needs because it might be seen as unmanually,

2882
01:49:06.800 --> 01:49:09.720
unmanly, boundaries and rejection, communicating

2883
01:49:09.720 --> 01:49:10.480
when they don't want sex.

2884
01:49:10.480 --> 01:49:12.560
And lastly, the script, which is discussing fantasies

2885
01:49:12.560 --> 01:49:14.280
that deviate from the norm.

2886
01:49:14.280 --> 01:49:15.720
So I want to talk about fantasy.

2887
01:49:15.720 --> 01:49:19.800
But before that, I would just say that because of social media,

2888
01:49:19.800 --> 01:49:22.840
we're in a place and I get text messages from my husband

2889
01:49:22.840 --> 01:49:24.520
24 hours a day with not 24 hours a day,

2890
01:49:24.520 --> 01:49:28.520
but all waking hours with reels and videos.

2891
01:49:28.520 --> 01:49:29.360
Oh, I think you'd like this.

2892
01:49:29.360 --> 01:49:30.120
I think you'd like this.

2893
01:49:30.120 --> 01:49:31.240
You should check this out.

2894
01:49:31.240 --> 01:49:33.640
And it's his way of connecting and making

2895
01:49:33.640 --> 01:49:34.520
let's talk about this later.

2896
01:49:34.520 --> 01:49:35.280
This is fun.

2897
01:49:35.280 --> 01:49:39.600
And so I tell my patients, send your partner a video

2898
01:49:39.600 --> 01:49:42.640
that you saw on social media that might help them understand

2899
01:49:42.640 --> 01:49:43.640
why this is important to you.

2900
01:49:43.640 --> 01:49:46.480
Maybe send them a video to send them this podcast.

2901
01:49:46.480 --> 01:49:47.520
Say, hey, I watched this.

2902
01:49:47.520 --> 01:49:48.040
It was great.

2903
01:49:48.040 --> 01:49:49.240
I like that idea.

2904
01:49:49.240 --> 01:49:50.680
And I learned so much.

2905
01:49:50.680 --> 01:49:53.520
And honestly, so many patients bring their partners to me,

2906
01:49:53.520 --> 01:49:55.600
whether it's women bringing male partners or men

2907
01:49:55.600 --> 01:49:57.960
bringing female partners, they come to me

2908
01:49:57.960 --> 01:50:00.120
and they say, look, I want you to meet this doctor.

2909
01:50:00.120 --> 01:50:01.080
And I want you to talk to them.

2910
01:50:01.080 --> 01:50:03.280
And it's beautiful to see that.

2911
01:50:03.280 --> 01:50:06.920
I love it because it's so deeply caring

2912
01:50:06.920 --> 01:50:08.200
that they brought their partner

2913
01:50:08.200 --> 01:50:09.560
and they want them to feel good.

2914
01:50:09.560 --> 01:50:11.480
And they just want to figure out what's going on.

2915
01:50:11.480 --> 01:50:15.560
And I think it's so lovely to find someone who's so invested

2916
01:50:15.560 --> 01:50:17.680
in making sure that sex is good for you.

2917
01:50:17.840 --> 01:50:20.240
As men, though, we're just not going to talk about this stuff.

2918
01:50:20.240 --> 01:50:23.640
Right, but you know, I think you can't use that as a crutch.

2919
01:50:23.640 --> 01:50:24.160
Yeah.

2920
01:50:24.160 --> 01:50:25.000
Do you know what I mean?

2921
01:50:25.000 --> 01:50:25.480
Yeah, I do.

2922
01:50:25.480 --> 01:50:26.000
Yeah.

2923
01:50:26.000 --> 01:50:27.040
It's just not good at it, though.

2924
01:50:27.040 --> 01:50:28.160
But no one's good at it.

2925
01:50:28.160 --> 01:50:28.840
It's not men.

2926
01:50:28.840 --> 01:50:30.280
Women are not good at it either.

2927
01:50:30.280 --> 01:50:31.760
I think men are worse at it.

2928
01:50:31.760 --> 01:50:34.600
I think in general, no one is good at talking about sex.

2929
01:50:34.600 --> 01:50:36.880
Like, you know, I think it's interesting

2930
01:50:36.880 --> 01:50:38.360
because I talk about it all the time,

2931
01:50:38.360 --> 01:50:42.120
but I have seen very good communicator struggle

2932
01:50:42.120 --> 01:50:43.480
with talking about sex.

2933
01:50:43.480 --> 01:50:47.560
And so I think it's just, it's uncomfortable.

2934
01:50:47.600 --> 01:50:50.520
And it's like, if you and I can have this conversation

2935
01:50:50.520 --> 01:50:52.440
and we can talk about sex openly,

2936
01:50:52.440 --> 01:50:54.840
like, there's no reason that you can't learn how to talk

2937
01:50:54.840 --> 01:50:56.960
about sex and it's a learning process

2938
01:50:56.960 --> 01:50:59.200
and it's worth investing in.

2939
01:50:59.200 --> 01:51:01.520
Do people bring you their fantasies?

2940
01:51:01.520 --> 01:51:05.120
Yeah, I've had, well, not as many fantasies

2941
01:51:05.120 --> 01:51:09.480
as like real sort of diverse interests and sex.

2942
01:51:09.480 --> 01:51:10.320
What do you mean by that?

2943
01:51:10.320 --> 01:51:13.640
So I had a patient who came to me and said,

2944
01:51:13.640 --> 01:51:15.760
you know, after sometimes it was not like their first visit.

2945
01:51:15.760 --> 01:51:18.200
Like, we built a rapport and he told me,

2946
01:51:18.200 --> 01:51:20.920
you know, I really struggle with arousal

2947
01:51:20.920 --> 01:51:24.720
and the only time I get aroused is I have a medical kink.

2948
01:51:24.720 --> 01:51:26.960
And so I go to this person who will put

2949
01:51:26.960 --> 01:51:30.560
a fully catheter in me and that's what turns me on.

2950
01:51:30.560 --> 01:51:32.160
And I was like, that's really interesting.

2951
01:51:32.160 --> 01:51:34.080
And I was like, okay, like, that's, that's great.

2952
01:51:34.080 --> 01:51:36.320
But like, it took a long time for us to get there

2953
01:51:36.320 --> 01:51:37.320
for him to feel comfortable.

2954
01:51:37.320 --> 01:51:40.320
But it also then was like, well, if that's what turns you on,

2955
01:51:40.320 --> 01:51:42.640
you know, then you got to sort of explore other ways

2956
01:51:42.640 --> 01:51:44.080
to incorporate that with a partner.

2957
01:51:44.080 --> 01:51:45.320
Maybe that's all.

2958
01:51:45.320 --> 01:51:48.920
So like a catheter is a, is a tube

2959
01:51:48.920 --> 01:51:52.240
that you put in the bladder for to drain urine.

2960
01:51:52.240 --> 01:51:53.680
What hold does that go in?

2961
01:51:53.680 --> 01:51:54.520
The urethra.

2962
01:51:54.520 --> 01:51:55.400
It goes in the penis.

2963
01:51:55.400 --> 01:51:56.240
Correct.

2964
01:51:56.240 --> 01:51:58.080
And so there's actually a lot of people who enjoy

2965
01:51:58.080 --> 01:51:59.080
urethral play.

2966
01:51:59.080 --> 01:52:00.880
So they will take sounds.

2967
01:52:00.880 --> 01:52:04.400
They're called sounds like little rods

2968
01:52:04.400 --> 01:52:06.280
with a frailed flared base.

2969
01:52:06.280 --> 01:52:08.520
And they will insert them in the urethra.

2970
01:52:08.520 --> 01:52:10.840
And but people do find that pleasurable.

2971
01:52:10.840 --> 01:52:12.840
And so because there is some, you know,

2972
01:52:12.880 --> 01:52:14.120
there are some nerve endings there

2973
01:52:14.120 --> 01:52:14.960
that can be pleasurable.

2974
01:52:14.960 --> 01:52:19.000
And so again, it is totally fine to have interests

2975
01:52:19.000 --> 01:52:22.160
that are, you know, outside what we call conventional.

2976
01:52:22.160 --> 01:52:24.160
But of course, I think you need to,

2977
01:52:24.160 --> 01:52:25.440
if that's something that you're really into,

2978
01:52:25.440 --> 01:52:27.440
you have to sort of bring your partner into the,

2979
01:52:27.440 --> 01:52:30.160
into the fold, if that's what really gets you turned on.

2980
01:52:30.160 --> 01:52:33.400
Now in terms of fantasies, almost everyone fantasizes,

2981
01:52:33.400 --> 01:52:34.800
right, almost everyone does.

2982
01:52:34.800 --> 01:52:37.520
And the interesting thing when you look at fantasies

2983
01:52:37.520 --> 01:52:39.720
is there's a lot of fantasies

2984
01:52:39.720 --> 01:52:41.920
that you would think are not common, but are.

2985
01:52:41.920 --> 01:52:46.920
So for example, being sexually submissive is very common.

2986
01:52:47.080 --> 01:52:50.480
So women fantasize about it like around 60%.

2987
01:52:50.480 --> 01:52:54.320
Men are like 20% having this desire of sexual,

2988
01:52:54.320 --> 01:52:56.080
this fantasy of sexual submission.

2989
01:52:56.080 --> 01:52:58.200
It may not mean that they want to be submissive in real life,

2990
01:52:58.200 --> 01:53:00.640
but that's the fantasy they're having.

2991
01:53:00.640 --> 01:53:03.800
Men often have a voyeurism fantasy.

2992
01:53:03.800 --> 01:53:08.800
So like watching sex, they also have sex with multiple partners.

2993
01:53:09.640 --> 01:53:13.520
Women tend to have a lot of like sexual dominance,

2994
01:53:13.520 --> 01:53:15.520
but also romance in their fantasies.

2995
01:53:15.520 --> 01:53:19.040
So like in exotic places or with,

2996
01:53:19.040 --> 01:53:21.160
and a lot of times like 90% of time,

2997
01:53:21.160 --> 01:53:23.160
people fantasize about strangers,

2998
01:53:23.160 --> 01:53:24.160
or it could be someone they know

2999
01:53:24.160 --> 01:53:25.440
but outside of their relationship.

3000
01:53:25.440 --> 01:53:28.160
And so that's completely normal and nothing to be worried about.

3001
01:53:28.160 --> 01:53:29.800
It doesn't mean that like you want that person

3002
01:53:29.800 --> 01:53:32.200
just a fantasy, it's a safe place in your head

3003
01:53:32.200 --> 01:53:33.480
to think about fantasy.

3004
01:53:33.480 --> 01:53:36.240
And I think one, realizing that if someone fantasizes about

3005
01:53:36.280 --> 01:53:38.920
something, it means nothing about how they feel about you.

3006
01:53:38.920 --> 01:53:40.960
It's just where their brain goes to explore.

3007
01:53:40.960 --> 01:53:42.880
I tell my patient sometimes write down your fantasies

3008
01:53:42.880 --> 01:53:44.560
for yourself, just like write them down.

3009
01:53:44.560 --> 01:53:45.960
Don't share that with anybody.

3010
01:53:45.960 --> 01:53:47.400
And have your partner do the same.

3011
01:53:47.400 --> 01:53:49.360
And then if you guys decide you feel comfortable

3012
01:53:49.360 --> 01:53:51.320
at some point to each share one fantasy,

3013
01:53:51.320 --> 01:53:53.880
and you can start and maybe one that you would want to try.

3014
01:53:53.880 --> 01:53:56.400
And like it allows you to sort of explore

3015
01:53:56.400 --> 01:53:58.080
and think about different things.

3016
01:53:58.080 --> 01:53:59.520
It could be negative outcome.

3017
01:53:59.520 --> 01:54:00.440
Like you could just be like, oh no,

3018
01:54:00.440 --> 01:54:01.800
this what didn't do it for me,

3019
01:54:01.800 --> 01:54:03.200
but it could also be very positive.

3020
01:54:03.200 --> 01:54:05.920
And so just like again, I think the big thing is understanding

3021
01:54:05.960 --> 01:54:07.520
it doesn't need to be that serious.

3022
01:54:07.520 --> 01:54:11.040
Like we can experiment, we can play, we can have fun.

3023
01:54:11.040 --> 01:54:13.000
And if you bring that back into your life,

3024
01:54:13.000 --> 01:54:16.400
you are going to be happier, less lonely, live longer.

3025
01:54:16.400 --> 01:54:19.280
Like everyone should just be having more sex.

3026
01:54:21.760 --> 01:54:26.000
It's interesting that we're getting more and more sexless

3027
01:54:26.000 --> 01:54:29.120
because I think the world is stealing our attention.

3028
01:54:29.120 --> 01:54:31.120
And that's causing a big loss in connection.

3029
01:54:31.120 --> 01:54:33.880
But then everyone's lives are more stressful than ever before.

3030
01:54:33.880 --> 01:54:36.960
If a bomb goes off 10,000 miles that way,

3031
01:54:36.960 --> 01:54:39.600
I see it when I open my phone.

3032
01:54:39.600 --> 01:54:41.440
So it's an interesting time to sort of almost

3033
01:54:41.440 --> 01:54:46.440
try and reclaim sex and to work on one's sexual health,

3034
01:54:47.760 --> 01:54:50.720
the full picture of one's sexual health.

3035
01:54:50.720 --> 01:54:52.400
You're working on a book which is,

3036
01:54:52.400 --> 01:54:53.680
I guess endeavoring to do much of that,

3037
01:54:53.680 --> 01:54:56.160
which is coming out in September,

3038
01:54:56.160 --> 01:54:56.960
called The Hard Truth.

3039
01:54:56.960 --> 01:54:59.200
Everything men need to know about good health,

3040
01:54:59.200 --> 01:55:00.600
great sex and long life.

3041
01:55:00.600 --> 01:55:03.120
So if you're watching this after the first of September,

3042
01:55:03.120 --> 01:55:05.200
2026 or around that time,

3043
01:55:05.200 --> 01:55:07.320
then the book is probably available for pre-order

3044
01:55:07.320 --> 01:55:08.320
or already out.

3045
01:55:08.320 --> 01:55:10.160
It's not available for pre-order yet, is it?

3046
01:55:10.160 --> 01:55:11.520
I will be soon, but not yet.

3047
01:55:11.520 --> 01:55:13.040
Okay, when the book is out,

3048
01:55:13.040 --> 01:55:14.880
I'm going to link it below in the comments section

3049
01:55:14.880 --> 01:55:16.560
when it's available for pre-order.

3050
01:55:16.560 --> 01:55:18.280
The Hard Truth, everything men need to know

3051
01:55:18.280 --> 01:55:20.320
about good health, great sex and long life.

3052
01:55:20.320 --> 01:55:22.360
So if the subjects we talked about today

3053
01:55:22.360 --> 01:55:24.280
have picture interest,

3054
01:55:24.280 --> 01:55:26.480
the book I imagine is going to go into greater detail

3055
01:55:26.480 --> 01:55:27.440
on all of these subjects.

3056
01:55:27.440 --> 01:55:28.280
Absolutely.

3057
01:55:28.280 --> 01:55:31.040
I think it's a book that really I wish was

3058
01:55:31.040 --> 01:55:32.520
a part of sexual education.

3059
01:55:32.520 --> 01:55:34.720
I think all men need to know this.

3060
01:55:34.720 --> 01:55:38.520
As women, we end up taking care of our male partners.

3061
01:55:38.520 --> 01:55:40.120
I make all the doctor's appointments.

3062
01:55:40.120 --> 01:55:42.200
I organize all of that.

3063
01:55:42.200 --> 01:55:44.160
I make sure that my kids get all their vaccines,

3064
01:55:44.160 --> 01:55:47.120
all that sort of stuff and it becomes on us

3065
01:55:47.120 --> 01:55:48.360
to take care of our fathers too.

3066
01:55:48.360 --> 01:55:51.080
And so as women, we hold that role

3067
01:55:51.080 --> 01:55:54.600
and I think it is so valuable to understand

3068
01:55:54.600 --> 01:55:56.600
what men go through and also to be able

3069
01:55:56.600 --> 01:55:58.440
to support them along the way.

3070
01:55:58.440 --> 01:56:01.600
And I think it's a great gift for men in your life

3071
01:56:01.600 --> 01:56:06.600
or for older sons even to help people understand their bodies.

3072
01:56:07.000 --> 01:56:08.480
And honestly, it's a huge motivator.

3073
01:56:08.480 --> 01:56:11.840
I tell people, for nothing else, people care about sex.

3074
01:56:11.840 --> 01:56:14.600
And I have seen patients turn around their lives

3075
01:56:14.600 --> 01:56:16.800
because they want to have better sex.

3076
01:56:16.800 --> 01:56:19.320
They'll literally improve their blood sugars.

3077
01:56:19.320 --> 01:56:21.000
They'll improve their blood pressure

3078
01:56:21.000 --> 01:56:23.800
because they just want to protect their sexual health.

3079
01:56:23.800 --> 01:56:24.640
Reena, thank you.

3080
01:56:24.640 --> 01:56:26.880
We have a closing tradition on this podcast

3081
01:56:26.880 --> 01:56:28.520
where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest.

3082
01:56:28.520 --> 01:56:30.160
Not knowing who they're leaving it for.

3083
01:56:30.160 --> 01:56:32.480
This is the first time in Diavisio history

3084
01:56:32.480 --> 01:56:35.240
where the guest has actually stamped it

3085
01:56:35.240 --> 01:56:39.200
with a stamp that says certified 100% human.

3086
01:56:39.200 --> 01:56:40.040
Okay.

3087
01:56:40.040 --> 01:56:41.320
So you can see there's a little stamp.

3088
01:56:41.320 --> 01:56:42.760
So when is that AI?

3089
01:56:42.760 --> 01:56:43.600
So it's not AI.

3090
01:56:43.600 --> 01:56:44.440
It actually says that in the middle.

3091
01:56:44.440 --> 01:56:46.760
It says Jen AI free.

3092
01:56:48.040 --> 01:56:48.880
Sign of things to come.

3093
01:56:48.880 --> 01:56:51.320
But that question, I guess is somewhat linked to that.

3094
01:56:51.320 --> 01:56:52.480
The question they've asked for you

3095
01:56:52.520 --> 01:56:57.480
is so much of the world feels hopeless about this moment.

3096
01:56:57.560 --> 01:57:02.560
What would you tell someone to help them reclaim their agency?

3097
01:57:08.920 --> 01:57:13.920
I think that we as humans are meant to be with other humans.

3098
01:57:17.080 --> 01:57:18.880
We are meant to connect.

3099
01:57:18.880 --> 01:57:23.080
And I think making that a priority will allow people

3100
01:57:23.080 --> 01:57:28.080
to feel a part of something again.

3101
01:57:28.640 --> 01:57:32.320
I think there is like an emergency of people

3102
01:57:32.320 --> 01:57:35.320
starting to look back at religious constructs

3103
01:57:35.320 --> 01:57:38.400
and go to community and be a part of things

3104
01:57:38.400 --> 01:57:41.400
and enjoy live events again like we weren't doing before.

3105
01:57:41.400 --> 01:57:43.320
And I think if we prioritize that,

3106
01:57:43.320 --> 01:57:47.800
there is still hope that we can come together as a society.

3107
01:57:47.800 --> 01:57:50.520
And I think the pendulum always swings.

3108
01:57:50.520 --> 01:57:53.800
In every way, it's going to go far right or far left.

3109
01:57:53.800 --> 01:57:55.560
And people are going to hate each other.

3110
01:57:55.560 --> 01:57:56.760
And then they're going to love each other.

3111
01:57:56.760 --> 01:57:57.800
And then they're going to come back.

3112
01:57:57.800 --> 01:58:00.120
And I think if you just look at history time and time

3113
01:58:00.120 --> 01:58:01.440
again, it repeats itself.

3114
01:58:01.440 --> 01:58:06.640
And we will find unity and we will find togetherness.

3115
01:58:06.640 --> 01:58:08.600
We are obviously feeling pain

3116
01:58:08.600 --> 01:58:10.280
from a variety of different sources.

3117
01:58:10.280 --> 01:58:13.760
And we may feel pain in terms of other things to come.

3118
01:58:13.760 --> 01:58:16.400
But ultimately, I'm an optimist.

3119
01:58:16.400 --> 01:58:17.960
And I think that we'll come together

3120
01:58:17.960 --> 01:58:23.680
and we will find happiness and joy in human connection.

3121
01:58:23.680 --> 01:58:25.000
And I hope you're right.

3122
01:58:25.000 --> 01:58:27.520
And I think we're seeing the early signs of that now.

3123
01:58:27.520 --> 01:58:30.360
For anyone that's listening, that wants to learn more from Reena.

3124
01:58:30.360 --> 01:58:32.200
I highly recommend they go to your YouTube channel.

3125
01:58:32.200 --> 01:58:34.440
I will collab if we can.

3126
01:58:34.440 --> 01:58:35.760
And if we do collab on YouTube, you'll

3127
01:58:35.760 --> 01:58:39.800
see a little smiling Reena next to the Diary of Silver logo

3128
01:58:39.800 --> 01:58:42.040
where you can click through to her YouTube channel.

3129
01:58:42.040 --> 01:58:44.480
She's got almost three million subscribers.

3130
01:58:44.480 --> 01:58:47.040
And she goes through all of the questions,

3131
01:58:47.040 --> 01:58:48.520
which no one has ever answered for us.

3132
01:58:48.520 --> 01:58:50.160
And I was looking at some of the questions

3133
01:58:50.160 --> 01:58:51.080
that you answer for people.

3134
01:58:51.080 --> 01:58:56.680
Everything from, why you dribble after you pee and how to stop it?

3135
01:58:56.680 --> 01:58:58.800
Pawn director reveals what scenes

3136
01:58:58.800 --> 01:59:01.280
are faked in almost every scene of movies.

3137
01:59:01.280 --> 01:59:03.720
But then also a lot of the stuff we've talked about today

3138
01:59:03.720 --> 01:59:08.600
around penal health, erectile dysfunction, sex positions,

3139
01:59:08.600 --> 01:59:09.800
and so much more.

3140
01:59:09.800 --> 01:59:12.680
So it's a wonderful repository of information

3141
01:59:12.680 --> 01:59:14.120
that is constantly being updated.

3142
01:59:14.120 --> 01:59:15.320
That is a great place to subscribe.

3143
01:59:15.320 --> 01:59:16.640
So I highly recommend you do.

3144
01:59:16.640 --> 01:59:18.240
Dr. Reena, thank you so much for your time.

3145
01:59:18.240 --> 01:59:19.040
You're so welcome.