WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.221 --> 00:00:04.199
Hey everybody, welcome to today's show and we're going to have a good time together as we

2
00:00:05.043 --> 00:00:08.256
go down a path that is for me very exciting.

3
00:00:08.276 --> 00:00:09.260
I'll tell you the reason why.

4
00:00:10.101 --> 00:00:11.788
And that's all about the next generation.

5
00:00:12.170 --> 00:00:14.440
If you guys know me, if you know this program,

6
00:00:14.580 --> 00:00:20.020
if you know anything that we do, making disciples is the desire of my heart because that's the heart

7
00:00:20.040 --> 00:00:22.187
of the Holy Spirit to make disciples.

8
00:00:22.749 --> 00:00:26.300
And so today we have Ruslan with us and many of you

9
00:00:26.340 --> 00:00:27.202
will know his name.

10
00:00:27.643 --> 00:00:30.631
He is a content creator.

11
00:00:30.831 --> 00:00:31.794
He is a rapper.

12
00:00:31.814 --> 00:00:33.358
He is an author.

13
00:00:33.378 --> 00:00:34.340
We're going to talk

14
00:00:34.360 --> 00:00:35.163
about that in a moment.

15
00:00:36.006 --> 00:00:40.280
He does so much that I just had to get him on the show because I want

16
00:00:40.942 --> 00:00:46.797
this generation that occupies our time together to become more familiar with him.

17
00:00:47.198 --> 00:00:48.080
And I just love

18
00:00:48.140 --> 00:00:48.622
this guy.

19
00:00:49.405 --> 00:00:53.100
I'm saying stuff right now that I haven't told him face to face, but he was so kind

20
00:00:53.160 --> 00:00:59.280
to invite me down to his studio and did that with him and just fell in love with his attitude.

21
00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:02.408
His passion for the word of God impressed me.

22
00:01:03.050 --> 00:01:04.815
And so it's great to have you.

23
00:01:04.995 --> 00:01:06.620
It's an honor to have

24
00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:06.841
you here.

25
00:01:06.861 --> 00:01:07.827
It's an honor to be here.

26
00:01:08.128 --> 00:01:08.711
Oh my goodness.

27
00:01:08.792 --> 00:01:09.375
It's incredible.

28
00:01:09.415 --> 00:01:10.280
And I like that you guys have

29
00:01:10.300 --> 00:01:12.087
your own custom mugs.

30
00:01:12.147 --> 00:01:12.710
It's beautiful.

31
00:01:12.890 --> 00:01:15.300
If you get some mugs, you know, it's happening, but

32
00:01:16.403 --> 00:01:17.286
it's remarkable.

33
00:01:17.386 --> 00:01:22.080
I mean, for those who, and by the way, my desire, as I said in the intro,

34
00:01:22.481 --> 00:01:31.520
is I'd love to see our audience dive more and more into your programming and get more acquainted with

35
00:01:32.021 --> 00:01:33.866
your life and the impact.

36
00:01:33.906 --> 00:01:36.934
But your name is immediately unique.

37
00:01:37.636 --> 00:01:39.080
And with that is a background

38
00:01:39.180 --> 00:01:39.903
that's unique.

39
00:01:40.384 --> 00:01:45.380
And I remember you telling me very briefly, but it was really the genesis of

40
00:01:45.701 --> 00:01:46.643
us having you here today.

41
00:01:47.265 --> 00:01:53.320
You mentioned when we first met that you had what I would say

42
00:01:54.743 --> 00:02:02.378
a very, very rough upbringing in the sense of what people would call church hurt.

43
00:02:03.120 --> 00:02:03.280
I mean,

44
00:02:03.300 --> 00:02:07.637
you were exposed to some tremendous things, things that most people would say, yeah,

45
00:02:08.580 --> 00:02:13.440
there can't be a God or if there is a God and that's him, I don't want anything to do with him.

46
00:02:14.103 --> 00:02:17.380
So would you mind, I know this is right on the spot, we didn't rehearse this.

47
00:02:18.040 --> 00:02:23.620
Would you mind diving in and maybe God will use what you have to say to set some people free.

48
00:02:23.780 --> 00:02:31.300
Yeah, so I'm ethnically Armenian, but I grew up in Azerbaijan, Baku, which is just to the east of Armenia.

49
00:02:32.020 --> 00:02:34.260
Azerbaijan is predominantly a Muslim country.

50
00:02:34.700 --> 00:02:37.820
And so Armenians living in Azerbaijan goes back a while.

51
00:02:38.221 --> 00:02:45.980
But in the late 80s, with some of the tensions around this autonomous Armenian region, there started being persecution.

52
00:02:46.300 --> 00:02:48.180
This is all in the Middle East, just north of Iran.

53
00:02:48.862 --> 00:02:50.520
Very peaceful part of the world.

54
00:02:51.061 --> 00:02:52.580
Lots of tranquility.

55
00:02:52.720 --> 00:02:54.260
I was trying to get you to crack a smile there.

56
00:02:54.481 --> 00:02:54.820
Not peaceful.

57
00:02:54.820 --> 00:02:55.579
I'm thinking like, wait.

58
00:02:55.901 --> 00:02:57.879
Utterly chaotic part of the world.

59
00:02:59.402 --> 00:03:06.760
And so long story short, about half a million Armenians were ethnically cleansed from Baku and exiled all over.

60
00:03:07.263 --> 00:03:09.476
And so me and my family were the first ones to come to San Diego in 1991.

61
00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:11.400
So asylum.

62
00:03:11.760 --> 00:03:12.620
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

63
00:03:12.640 --> 00:03:13.960
We got refugee status.

64
00:03:14.401 --> 00:03:17.920
We applied for Australia, Israel, and America.

65
00:03:18.400 --> 00:03:21.720
And America was the last place that we applied for and the first place that accepted us.

66
00:03:21.961 --> 00:03:22.540
Isn't that something?

67
00:03:22.561 --> 00:03:23.159
Yeah, pretty cool.

68
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:25.379
So I mean, I could be living in Australia right now.

69
00:03:25.744 --> 00:03:26.680
The Lord had it another way.

70
00:03:27.041 --> 00:03:27.960
So we come to the United States.

71
00:03:28.100 --> 00:03:32.340
Now, the backdrop of Azerbaijan was the former Soviet Union.

72
00:03:32.660 --> 00:03:35.640
So communism, like real communism.

73
00:03:35.640 --> 00:03:35.880
Real.

74
00:03:36.122 --> 00:03:39.000
Yeah, not like we try to freeze the rain and then quit after a while.

75
00:03:39.161 --> 00:03:40.140
Yes, not AOC version.

76
00:03:40.180 --> 00:03:41.719
Yeah, not that type.

77
00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:42.639
We're like real communism.

78
00:03:43.821 --> 00:03:45.160
Food rations for the week.

79
00:03:45.220 --> 00:03:46.020
We get a box of food.

80
00:03:46.160 --> 00:03:47.800
I remember there would be water shortages.

81
00:03:47.860 --> 00:03:48.800
Do you remember this?

82
00:03:48.820 --> 00:03:49.860
Yeah, there would be water shortages.

83
00:03:49.980 --> 00:03:53.180
We'd get a tub of water that we'd have to share as a family.

84
00:03:53.260 --> 00:03:55.820
And we were living, me and my mom, with my grandparents.

85
00:03:56.360 --> 00:03:59.020
And my mom and my dad couldn't really pick what they did for work.

86
00:03:59.180 --> 00:03:59.840
Like communism.

87
00:04:00.060 --> 00:04:03.120
Like the means of production were owned and controlled by the state.

88
00:04:04.162 --> 00:04:07.620
And so we come to the United States, and it's totally different, absolutely.

89
00:04:09.221 --> 00:04:12.320
Like, it was almost as if the world went from black and white to color.

90
00:04:12.641 --> 00:04:15.159
Like, that's the way I remember transitioning.

91
00:04:15.300 --> 00:04:16.079
And you're about how old?

92
00:04:16.502 --> 00:04:17.540
Six years old, yeah.

93
00:04:17.741 --> 00:04:19.280
Yeah, so old enough to remember.

94
00:04:19.522 --> 00:04:20.020
Old enough to remember.

95
00:04:20.100 --> 00:04:24.320
I remember my very first memory of America, it was evening.

96
00:04:24.643 --> 00:04:26.120
We pull up to the store.

97
00:04:26.505 --> 00:04:27.120
It's beautiful.

98
00:04:27.521 --> 00:04:28.599
There's all these lights.

99
00:04:29.144 --> 00:04:29.900
It's so colorful.

100
00:04:30.141 --> 00:04:36.660
And I thought, Mom, it's so considerate of my mom and dad to take me to a toy store to replenish my toy supply.

101
00:04:37.021 --> 00:04:38.960
So we walk in, and it wasn't a toy store.

102
00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:42.420
It was a Lucky Grocery Store off of El Cajon Avenue in the 15th.

103
00:04:42.500 --> 00:04:45.200
So that's how much, like I'd never seen a grocery store.

104
00:04:45.260 --> 00:04:47.480
I thought it was a toy store because there were so many lights and shiny.

105
00:04:47.845 --> 00:04:48.020
Right.

106
00:04:48.063 --> 00:04:48.339
Beautiful.

107
00:04:49.722 --> 00:04:51.460
So absolutely culture shock.

108
00:04:51.540 --> 00:05:00.500
My only context of anything America was a terrible movie called American Ninja that came out in the 80s and Michael Jackson, which, I mean, he's the king of pop.

109
00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:00.797
Sure.

110
00:05:01.060 --> 00:05:01.900
Michael Jackson was great.

111
00:05:02.462 --> 00:05:03.460
And I don't know the language.

112
00:05:03.560 --> 00:05:04.180
I don't know anything.

113
00:05:05.723 --> 00:05:08.020
And, yeah, so I'm dumped into a whole other country.

114
00:05:08.521 --> 00:05:11.100
My mother and my father split up about six months later.

115
00:05:11.400 --> 00:05:11.464
Oh.

116
00:05:12.423 --> 00:05:14.159
Was that because of the American dynamic?

117
00:05:14.681 --> 00:05:17.560
It was because their marriage was already rocky.

118
00:05:17.985 --> 00:05:18.700
Living in Baku.

119
00:05:18.820 --> 00:05:22.493
my dad is more Armenian looking than I am, right?

120
00:05:22.513 --> 00:05:24.460
Because my mom's adopted by an Armenian family,

121
00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:27.453
but she's Ukrainian or Russian, according to my DNA test.

122
00:05:27.795 --> 00:05:28.980
My dad is like Armenian-Armenian,

123
00:05:29.100 --> 00:05:30.345
so he was very noticeable.

124
00:05:30.726 --> 00:05:34.560
So he had to start traveling to Moscow for work pretty early on

125
00:05:34.660 --> 00:05:36.107
throughout a lot of my childhood.

126
00:05:36.368 --> 00:05:38.397
So there was already a strain on their marriage.

127
00:05:38.659 --> 00:05:38.940
They came

128
00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:43.540
to America, it was a fresh start, and long story short, it just fell apart almost immediately.

129
00:05:44.102 --> 00:05:44.820
So my dad leaves.

130
00:05:45.460 --> 00:05:46.180
It's just me and my mom.

131
00:05:46.220 --> 00:05:52.100
My mom goes down a dark spiral of alcoholism, depression, very toxic taste in men.

132
00:05:53.281 --> 00:05:54.720
The good news is my mother is a Christian now.

133
00:05:54.780 --> 00:05:55.499
She's walking with Jesus.

134
00:05:55.860 --> 00:05:57.980
She's been going to church every Saturday.

135
00:05:58.120 --> 00:05:59.439
There's a church out in Oceanside.

136
00:05:59.520 --> 00:06:01.000
I'll tell you what it is off the record.

137
00:06:01.263 --> 00:06:02.140
You know what the church is, though.

138
00:06:03.021 --> 00:06:03.940
And so she's been going to church.

139
00:06:04.082 --> 00:06:04.739
She's doing great now.

140
00:06:05.002 --> 00:06:07.020
But at the time, yeah, just alcoholic.

141
00:06:07.642 --> 00:06:08.480
Dad's not in the picture.

142
00:06:09.121 --> 00:06:12.320
And we start going to the Armenian Apostolic Church.

143
00:06:12.860 --> 00:06:16.360
And so at this point, I don't remember even talking about God as a kid.

144
00:06:16.501 --> 00:06:17.960
I don't remember anything about faith.

145
00:06:18.421 --> 00:06:21.300
I don't remember anyone telling me about Jesus dying on the sins for my cross.

146
00:06:21.400 --> 00:06:21.637
Nothing.

147
00:06:23.021 --> 00:06:26.060
And so I start going to this Armenian church, very high liturgy.

148
00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.220
It's part of the Oriental Orthodox, part of the church.

149
00:06:29.621 --> 00:06:33.799
A lot of beautiful images of Jesus and the incense and the lights and the...

150
00:06:34.021 --> 00:06:35.780
All the liturgical beauty of it all.

151
00:06:35.820 --> 00:06:36.340
The candles.

152
00:06:36.962 --> 00:06:38.680
It was beautiful from one standpoint.

153
00:06:38.921 --> 00:06:45.740
And I remember becoming an altar boy and loving every moment of it and getting baptized and the whole thing.

154
00:06:46.340 --> 00:06:49.280
And then long story short, what happened was there was some older altar boys.

155
00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:50.600
So I'm like six, seven, eight.

156
00:06:50.840 --> 00:06:52.099
This is in the El Cajon area.

157
00:06:52.280 --> 00:06:52.759
This is in San Diego.

158
00:06:52.920 --> 00:06:53.040
Yeah.

159
00:06:53.100 --> 00:06:58.340
So right off of in between University and El Cajon off of like 30th Street or somewhere in there.

160
00:06:58.400 --> 00:06:58.514
Yeah.

161
00:06:58.921 --> 00:07:02.158
And there were some older altar boys who were 13, 14.

162
00:07:02.900 --> 00:07:06.200
And long story short, they ended up sexually assaulting me as a kid repeatedly.

163
00:07:08.012 --> 00:07:08.560
At the church?

164
00:07:09.765 --> 00:07:10.900
Out of the church, in the neighborhood.

165
00:07:11.040 --> 00:07:12.679
But these were the kids I met through the church.

166
00:07:14.460 --> 00:07:19.740
And the way it was handled by the, or not handled by the church, was pretty devastating.

167
00:07:21.347 --> 00:07:22.000
How did they know?

168
00:07:22.201 --> 00:07:23.520
How did they come to know?

169
00:07:23.761 --> 00:07:27.740
It turned into, like, the talk of the Armenian community.

170
00:07:28.280 --> 00:07:30.479
Was that kind of the way it is?

171
00:07:31.449 --> 00:07:31.940
I don't know.

172
00:07:32.181 --> 00:07:35.380
I think it was shocking to them.

173
00:07:35.762 --> 00:07:39.560
but the way it was framed was like I as the seven or eight year old was the aggressor

174
00:07:40.282 --> 00:07:46.720
and that it was all my fault and that spun me for a little yeah especially these kids are teenagers

175
00:07:46.921 --> 00:07:52.340
and I'm seven or eight um and so the way the church handled it or didn't handle it was pretty

176
00:07:52.420 --> 00:07:55.940
devastating and then long story short I remember I kept trying to kind of hold on like I kept

177
00:07:56.241 --> 00:08:01.860
going to the church despite it all and I remember maybe a year later I got my ear pierced and I

178
00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:07.460
showed up to church with it with an earring and my dad sat me down and scolded me oh because that's

179
00:08:07.500 --> 00:08:14.620
what for having my ear pierced meanwhile he remarried my dad which my mom felt a way about

180
00:08:14.620 --> 00:08:18.400
because i guess according to her they weren't technically divorced and there was this actual

181
00:08:18.541 --> 00:08:23.560
sexual abuse situation that you guys looked the other way on right and so i just was like oh my

182
00:08:23.640 --> 00:08:27.760
this is like utter hypocrisy i remember thinking that in third or fourth good for you yeah good

183
00:08:28.002 --> 00:08:29.600
And so I was frustrated.

184
00:08:29.840 --> 00:08:33.460
And then in that, I remember growing and becoming an atheist.

185
00:08:33.800 --> 00:08:38.180
Like I had to have been one of the youngest kids walking around saying, there is no God.

186
00:08:38.200 --> 00:08:39.340
There's no way that there's a God.

187
00:08:39.400 --> 00:08:42.400
And if there is a God, he wants nothing to do with me or I don't want anything to do with him.

188
00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:47.459
So in the midst of all of this, this is the gangster rap era of the 90s.

189
00:08:47.800 --> 00:08:49.640
I don't know how much of your hip on gangster rap.

190
00:08:49.761 --> 00:08:50.660
No, I mean, I'm sorry.

191
00:08:50.862 --> 00:08:51.498
I'm kind of rusty.

192
00:08:51.580 --> 00:08:56.820
So this is Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, N.W.A., The Chronic.

193
00:08:57.462 --> 00:09:02.780
this and it's wild to think i have my my son is the age i was at this time but this is what

194
00:09:02.820 --> 00:09:09.200
discipled me like instead of the church discipling me it was the wildest most vile gang that i as an

195
00:09:09.220 --> 00:09:14.260
adult listen to like i i can never imagine playing this or allowing my son to have access to this

196
00:09:14.360 --> 00:09:22.600
music um and the backdrop of that end up getting into some trouble getting into a gang uh getting

197
00:09:22.700 --> 00:09:27.656
arrested for trying to break into a home to get money to bail out my gang leader.

198
00:09:28.218 --> 00:09:28.740
And at the edge

199
00:09:28.760 --> 00:09:34.980
of 11 and just, just a complete derelict and a very, very troubled, confused kid.

200
00:09:35.221 --> 00:09:37.146
So allow me to insert this.

201
00:09:37.307 --> 00:09:37.989
You've been hurt.

202
00:09:38.069 --> 00:09:40.095
You've been wounded guys.

203
00:09:41.078 --> 00:09:41.900
We have a tendency to

204
00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:44.347
just stuff it in.

205
00:09:44.367 --> 00:09:48.178
And when we stuff it in, uh, what comes out, it's not good.

206
00:09:48.218 --> 00:09:48.880
Most often it's

207
00:09:48.900 --> 00:09:56.720
violence if it's not violence it's this it's it's a hatred or aggression on steroids toward the

208
00:09:57.201 --> 00:10:06.600
authority around us in life uh the proverbial chip on the shoulder right so now you're moving along

209
00:10:07.522 --> 00:10:15.980
and for i mean for first of all i just want you to know maybe mostly our listeners to know i guess

210
00:10:16.462 --> 00:10:21.340
is when young people have events in their life

211
00:10:21.381 --> 00:10:22.580
like you have experienced,

212
00:10:24.186 --> 00:10:25.920
some people have a tendency to look at those kids

213
00:10:26.021 --> 00:10:27.320
when they say, I don't believe in God

214
00:10:27.521 --> 00:10:30.340
and blame them, lay it on them for not believing in God.

215
00:10:30.846 --> 00:10:31.380
I don't have that.

216
00:10:31.965 --> 00:10:33.380
I actually agree with them.

217
00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:35.820
It's kind of like Billy Graham once said,

218
00:10:37.280 --> 00:10:40.760
if a husband, a mother and a father,

219
00:10:40.881 --> 00:10:42.580
husband and wife divorce and break up,

220
00:10:43.723 --> 00:10:50.080
then the children have an excuse to not believe in God because God couldn't keep their marriage

221
00:10:50.160 --> 00:10:50.561
together.

222
00:10:50.662 --> 00:10:55.456
Now that's, that's not exactly true, but in the child's eyes, it is true.

223
00:10:55.476 --> 00:10:56.038
It's emotionally

224
00:10:57.041 --> 00:10:57.563
powerful.

225
00:10:57.924 --> 00:11:01.359
And so when somebody says, well, I can't believe in God because look, look what's

226
00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:02.502
happened in my life.

227
00:11:02.663 --> 00:11:03.525
I get that.

228
00:11:03.545 --> 00:11:05.129
I understand that.

229
00:11:06.232 --> 00:11:09.560
So how, how long did this abuse take place?

230
00:11:09.661 --> 00:11:11.800
Or was that just maybe a seasonal thing?

231
00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:12.880
It was for a season.

232
00:11:13.261 --> 00:11:18.140
I mean, less than a dozen, more than three or four.

233
00:11:18.844 --> 00:11:19.420
Once too many.

234
00:11:19.480 --> 00:11:20.240
Yeah, once too many.

235
00:11:20.700 --> 00:11:22.180
And it wasn't just that it took place.

236
00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:25.280
It then set me down the road of pornography.

237
00:11:25.640 --> 00:11:30.980
It set me down the road of being promiscuous with girls and losing my virginity very young.

238
00:11:31.340 --> 00:11:33.157
So it just, what is that?

239
00:11:34.140 --> 00:11:37.440
Is there a proverb or Song of Solomon where it talks about not awaking love?

240
00:11:37.620 --> 00:11:37.901
before.

241
00:11:37.921 --> 00:11:42.958
Don't awaken love until it pleases or don't awaken love until it is allowed.

242
00:11:43.038 --> 00:11:43.219
Yes.

243
00:11:43.460 --> 00:11:43.600
Yes.

244
00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:50.120
And so for me, it was a, as my poor little brain was still forming, it, it's, it's hyper-sexualized

245
00:11:50.220 --> 00:11:50.883
me very young.

246
00:11:51.485 --> 00:11:55.700
And in the midst of getting arrested, in the midst of all this stuff, I end

247
00:11:55.760 --> 00:11:57.348
up having to do community service hours.

248
00:11:57.428 --> 00:11:58.654
I got to do community service hours.

249
00:11:59.196 --> 00:12:00.000
I wait till the very

250
00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:00.583
last minute.

251
00:12:00.643 --> 00:12:03.616
This, this, I think I get arrested in fifth grade, seventh grade.

252
00:12:03.837 --> 00:12:04.400
I go to court.

253
00:12:04.420 --> 00:12:04.440
I

254
00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:05.840
I finally have to do the community service hours.

255
00:12:06.080 --> 00:12:06.920
I wait until the last minute.

256
00:12:07.640 --> 00:12:11.840
And the only way I can get them done is if I go to my neighbor's church.

257
00:12:12.380 --> 00:12:18.000
And subsequently through all of this, our apartment manager, her name was Cherie, she also ends up getting in trouble.

258
00:12:18.180 --> 00:12:20.060
Cherie was my mom's first American friend.

259
00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:21.555
She was awesome.

260
00:12:22.241 --> 00:12:23.820
But she was also involved in some street stuff.

261
00:12:23.920 --> 00:12:29.900
And so long story short, Cherie ends up getting arrested for moving, trying to pass cocaine through an airport.

262
00:12:30.040 --> 00:12:34.200
She was flying somewhere and someone gave her a bag of stuff and she got caught with it, had to go to jail.

263
00:12:34.881 --> 00:12:40.300
She gets radically saved in jail, like radically converted, totally different person when she comes out.

264
00:12:40.400 --> 00:12:47.840
And then our entire apartment complex ends up becoming Christian and going to church, except the two Armenian refugee families.

265
00:12:48.501 --> 00:12:50.100
Now I got to do these community service hours.

266
00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:56.680
The only way I can get them done is if I go to her church with Charlie and Willie and cram these hours in.

267
00:12:56.981 --> 00:13:00.960
And very early on through her, through Charlie and Willie, people are sharing Jesus with me.

268
00:13:00.980 --> 00:13:06.500
They're telling me, hey, you know, you're a mess, but like God accepts you in your mess, but he has more for you.

269
00:13:06.900 --> 00:13:08.099
Hey, Jesus loves you.

270
00:13:08.843 --> 00:13:10.460
And it was that combination of grace and truth.

271
00:13:10.580 --> 00:13:15.860
It was like you're headed towards a very dark road, but God has better for you.

272
00:13:17.122 --> 00:13:21.000
And even it would say things like one day you're going to do great things for the Lord.

273
00:13:21.100 --> 00:13:22.660
You're going to reach millions of people for Jesus.

274
00:13:22.800 --> 00:13:24.300
And I was like, there is no God.

275
00:13:24.380 --> 00:13:27.560
And if there is a God, he wants nothing, nothing to do with me.

276
00:13:28.242 --> 00:13:30.560
So the seeds get planted, seeing the life change.

277
00:13:31.662 --> 00:13:34.180
I moved to North County, which is where you went to my house, Vista.

278
00:13:34.681 --> 00:13:38.020
So way, way suburban, way slower.

279
00:13:38.862 --> 00:13:41.078
And God just keeps sending people over and over.

280
00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:46.040
And the most unorthodox means to tell me about Jesus, freshman year, start dating a girl.

281
00:13:46.921 --> 00:13:51.300
The only way I can see her over the summer is if I go to church with her and her family on Sundays.

282
00:13:51.380 --> 00:13:52.340
So that was my only way to see her.

283
00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:53.200
So I start going to church.

284
00:13:53.622 --> 00:13:54.306
I go to a church.

285
00:13:54.689 --> 00:13:56.620
I start hearing about Jesus, start hearing the gospel.

286
00:13:56.721 --> 00:13:57.139
And you're how old?

287
00:13:57.721 --> 00:13:59.175
Freshman year, so 14, 15.

288
00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:00.519
Oh, my goodness, yeah.

289
00:14:01.061 --> 00:14:05.000
And I'm still saying I'm an atheist, but I'm kind of an agnostic.

290
00:14:05.280 --> 00:14:09.220
But then I'm opening up because all the—I'm slowly coming over.

291
00:14:09.680 --> 00:14:15.120
And again, the music that I'm listening to is now becoming a bit—it was still very debaucherous,

292
00:14:15.180 --> 00:14:18.120
but there would always be some references to God or some references to Jesus,

293
00:14:18.662 --> 00:14:21.480
particularly DMX and Tupac, where they would talk about God.

294
00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:23.600
And there would be some sort of redemptive twist on their music.

295
00:14:24.124 --> 00:14:25.339
So that's softening me up.

296
00:14:25.945 --> 00:14:26.700
And I'm going to church.

297
00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:30.720
And I remember it was like everything in my life was pointing to God.

298
00:14:30.780 --> 00:14:32.680
And I just fought God for about two years.

299
00:14:32.760 --> 00:14:33.859
Me and the Christian girl broke up.

300
00:14:34.362 --> 00:14:36.040
I started dating a Jehovah's Witness girl.

301
00:14:36.140 --> 00:14:38.840
So now I'm down to the rabbit hole of Arianism.

302
00:14:38.940 --> 00:14:41.980
And it was Jesus God eternal or was he a son of God or was he a God?

303
00:14:42.362 --> 00:14:43.540
I'm reading the reasoning for scriptures.

304
00:14:43.700 --> 00:14:44.820
I got Muslim friends.

305
00:14:44.980 --> 00:14:47.020
I got Mormon friends.

306
00:14:47.263 --> 00:14:48.120
I'm just confused.

307
00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:48.660
Scrambled.

308
00:14:49.423 --> 00:14:53.039
my manager at Pizza Hut, her name is Barb.

309
00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:55.260
She was a Christian, devoted Christian.

310
00:14:55.900 --> 00:14:59.860
Our lead shift driver was also a Christian.

311
00:15:00.221 --> 00:15:01.740
So one day we're in the back, I'm rolling the dough.

312
00:15:01.860 --> 00:15:02.180
This is amazing.

313
00:15:02.622 --> 00:15:04.100
And I start talking about this whole like,

314
00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:06.060
well, is Jesus the son of God or is he God?

315
00:15:06.200 --> 00:15:07.280
Or I don't know.

316
00:15:07.862 --> 00:15:09.420
And they like end up like, no, no, no.

317
00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:11.200
Go to John, go to here, go to here.

318
00:15:11.462 --> 00:15:14.220
And he gives me the new evidence that demands a verdict.

319
00:15:14.563 --> 00:15:15.360
Yes, fantastic.

320
00:15:15.880 --> 00:15:16.338
This thing.

321
00:15:16.440 --> 00:15:16.758
Exactly.

322
00:15:17.103 --> 00:15:18.920
Like an apologetics encyclopedia.

323
00:15:19.602 --> 00:15:20.220
So I take the book home.

324
00:15:20.220 --> 00:15:20.856
It's bigger than the Bible.

325
00:15:21.102 --> 00:15:21.320
Yeah.

326
00:15:21.480 --> 00:15:26.719
And I ended up devouring it as a young, you know, high school kid, just reading it.

327
00:15:27.001 --> 00:15:28.440
And it answered all my questions.

328
00:15:29.300 --> 00:15:29.668
And it was the—

329
00:15:30.260 --> 00:15:34.100
I mean, you do know that you are hot evidence of the pursuit of God.

330
00:15:34.304 --> 00:15:34.600
Absolutely.

331
00:15:35.087 --> 00:15:35.220
Yeah.

332
00:15:35.420 --> 00:15:35.540
Yeah.

333
00:15:35.821 --> 00:15:36.780
He was just hounding you.

334
00:15:36.821 --> 00:15:37.520
He was hounding me.

335
00:15:37.540 --> 00:15:37.660
Yeah.

336
00:15:37.962 --> 00:15:40.160
He was going after me relentlessly.

337
00:15:41.662 --> 00:15:46.720
And after two years of wrestling, apologetics, dating different girls, being very confused,

338
00:15:47.101 --> 00:15:48.184
one foot in, one foot out.

339
00:15:48.585 --> 00:15:52.256
The end of my junior year is 4th of July.

340
00:15:52.457 --> 00:15:53.500
So going into my senior year,

341
00:15:53.881 --> 00:15:55.911
I made my first public profession of faith.

342
00:15:55.931 --> 00:15:57.860
I had raised my hand and said the prayer,

343
00:15:58.180 --> 00:16:02.540
but my first public coming down profession of faith at, you'll dig this, at a Miles McPherson

344
00:16:02.781 --> 00:16:03.765
Miles Ahead crusade.

345
00:16:04.287 --> 00:16:04.950
Absolutely.

346
00:16:05.050 --> 00:16:06.817
And me and Pastor Miles were still friends.

347
00:16:06.838 --> 00:16:07.440
I could have been there.

348
00:16:07.640 --> 00:16:08.485
I could have been there.

349
00:16:08.525 --> 00:16:09.209
Yeah, it was amazing.

350
00:16:09.229 --> 00:16:10.980
So yeah, I think he had POD and cross-distance

351
00:16:11.140 --> 00:16:12.325
performing.

352
00:16:12.405 --> 00:16:12.947
It was really cool.

353
00:16:12.967 --> 00:16:16.460
It was at the San Diego Coors Amphitheater, I think at the time.

354
00:16:16.604 --> 00:16:17.020
Amazing.

355
00:16:17.040 --> 00:16:18.760
And that was my first public profession of faith.

356
00:16:18.880 --> 00:16:28.460
Immediately after that, joined a small group, started getting discipled by older men in the church, started an open mic, and really took my faith seriously.

357
00:16:29.425 --> 00:16:29.939
So awesome.

358
00:16:30.160 --> 00:16:30.297
Yeah.

359
00:16:31.382 --> 00:16:35.360
At what point then your mother's watching this stuff happen?

360
00:16:36.162 --> 00:16:39.440
So she's like testing you, I would imagine.

361
00:16:39.621 --> 00:16:40.099
She's looking.

362
00:16:40.180 --> 00:16:41.160
She thinks I joined a cult.

363
00:16:42.824 --> 00:16:44.560
She thinks like, what is this stuff?

364
00:16:44.783 --> 00:16:46.200
Because the change was so much.

365
00:16:46.844 --> 00:16:49.600
She doesn't know, but she sees this change in you.

366
00:16:50.141 --> 00:16:53.860
So she's thinking, what could have that kind of power over somebody's mind?

367
00:16:54.662 --> 00:16:57.300
Not realizing it's the actual person of God.

368
00:16:57.480 --> 00:16:57.600
Yeah.

369
00:16:57.800 --> 00:17:02.140
And she, again, a high liturgy, orthodoxy, all this stuff.

370
00:17:02.280 --> 00:17:04.580
So to her, and I'm not saying this is right.

371
00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:06.760
I'm saying to her, faith was very compartmentalized.

372
00:17:06.860 --> 00:17:11.400
Faith is when she went to go get some holy water, blessed by the priest, and light a candle.

373
00:17:11.861 --> 00:17:14.260
It wasn't, hey, I'm going to read my Bible every night.

374
00:17:14.684 --> 00:17:15.540
I'm going to talk to God.

375
00:17:15.561 --> 00:17:16.180
I'm going to talk to God.

376
00:17:16.220 --> 00:17:17.220
I'm going to tell you about Jesus.

377
00:17:17.340 --> 00:17:18.018
I'm going to pray for you.

378
00:17:18.120 --> 00:17:18.900
Can I pray for you, mom?

379
00:17:19.080 --> 00:17:26.220
Like she, it was very foreign to her, but she saw over the course of decades, my life.

380
00:17:26.340 --> 00:17:26.940
And it was decades.

381
00:17:27.060 --> 00:17:28.160
It wasn't, I love it.

382
00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:28.920
It was decades.

383
00:17:29.120 --> 00:17:29.233
Yeah.

384
00:17:29.661 --> 00:17:31.980
So I came to faith early two thousands.

385
00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:38.200
She doesn't come to faith until post COVID of just, and it was in, in me honoring her

386
00:17:38.802 --> 00:17:42.340
when she had an accident and taking care of her that she got clean.

387
00:17:42.823 --> 00:17:45.580
and then she finally got around to all those prayers of God.

388
00:17:45.620 --> 00:17:47.100
Would you just send godly women to my mom?

389
00:17:47.180 --> 00:17:48.260
Would you send godly women to my mom

390
00:17:48.280 --> 00:17:51.040
that can share you with her in a way that makes sense?

391
00:17:51.580 --> 00:17:55.680
And she ends up, God like answers those prayers decades later.

392
00:17:56.420 --> 00:17:58.459
And so, yeah, so she's had a pretty wild

393
00:17:59.807 --> 00:18:02.160
come in Jesus moment within the last three, four years.

394
00:18:02.201 --> 00:18:02.959
Yeah, post COVID, yeah.

395
00:18:03.460 --> 00:18:06.200
Goes to church every Saturday now and reading her Bible

396
00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:08.060
and telling me about the story in Genesis

397
00:18:08.222 --> 00:18:09.400
that she heard from the pastor.

398
00:18:09.702 --> 00:18:10.809
and it's a Russian English service.

399
00:18:14.467 --> 00:18:15.339
So talk on this.

400
00:18:17.806 --> 00:18:18.919
We know that the scripture says

401
00:18:19.262 --> 00:18:21.259
that the Lord can make beauty out of ashes.

402
00:18:21.900 --> 00:18:23.300
We know that part of his nature

403
00:18:24.451 --> 00:18:25.380
is that he's redemptive.

404
00:18:25.560 --> 00:18:26.058
He redeems.

405
00:18:28.829 --> 00:18:29.400
He restores.

406
00:18:29.903 --> 00:18:30.459
He makes new.

407
00:18:33.467 --> 00:18:34.180
That said,

408
00:18:37.249 --> 00:18:40.660
with what he's done in your life,

409
00:18:43.722 --> 00:18:47.080
I'm hesitating because I know the answer for me.

410
00:18:47.420 --> 00:18:50.078
There's things that maybe I'll share in a moment,

411
00:18:50.520 --> 00:18:53.400
but I'm delighting in what I'm hearing

412
00:18:53.541 --> 00:18:55.859
because you've got every reason why

413
00:18:55.940 --> 00:18:59.440
that if I were to meet you on the street

414
00:18:59.622 --> 00:19:00.530
and I would say to you,

415
00:19:01.861 --> 00:19:04.740
Uh, Ruslan, this is who Jesus is.

416
00:19:04.780 --> 00:19:06.999
And you said to me, there's no way I get it.

417
00:19:07.220 --> 00:19:12.140
I would, I'd have to say with you, say to you, I understand why you don't believe the

418
00:19:12.260 --> 00:19:16.360
Lord has taken you and turn that around so much.

419
00:19:16.500 --> 00:19:23.580
So that do you believe, do you sense, have you come to that place where you can now look

420
00:19:23.701 --> 00:19:27.300
back and say, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

421
00:19:27.460 --> 00:19:27.980
Yeah, absolutely.

422
00:19:28.281 --> 00:19:28.560
Have you?

423
00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:28.840
Okay.

424
00:19:29.087 --> 00:19:29.358
Beautiful.

425
00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:30.040
I wouldn't have changed.

426
00:19:30.261 --> 00:19:33.420
I wanted to ask that question to you because that's true for my life.

427
00:19:33.642 --> 00:19:34.880
And look, I'm old enough to be your dad.

428
00:19:35.565 --> 00:19:36.559
I went through things.

429
00:19:39.365 --> 00:19:40.400
I was a failed abortion.

430
00:19:40.985 --> 00:19:41.639
I wasn't wanted.

431
00:19:42.183 --> 00:19:43.080
My mom kept me.

432
00:19:43.201 --> 00:19:44.180
My dad didn't want me.

433
00:19:44.280 --> 00:19:45.720
My dad came back from deployment.

434
00:19:47.086 --> 00:19:47.940
I was a year old.

435
00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:50.559
It was, he never acknowledged my life.

436
00:19:52.061 --> 00:19:55.679
That said, I stuttered severely all my life.

437
00:19:57.022 --> 00:20:00.800
My mom was born and raised in a Catholic orphanage in Hawaii.

438
00:20:01.421 --> 00:20:05.860
So it was all about the candles, all about Mary, the statue, no Bible.

439
00:20:06.982 --> 00:20:08.340
My dad had no faith.

440
00:20:09.902 --> 00:20:14.620
But when I was nine years old, I remember walking home from school.

441
00:20:15.181 --> 00:20:23.300
I would cut through across the football field and getting surrounded by about seven or eight

442
00:20:23.480 --> 00:20:26.330
Hispanic guys, young guys in a, in a, in a gang.

443
00:20:27.092 --> 00:20:29.440
And I was, I was the one who famously stuttered.

444
00:20:30.341 --> 00:20:34.720
And so they were pushing me around and, and, uh, making fun of me, but then they,

445
00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:40.360
they threw me down, they held me down and then they systematically urinated on my face.

446
00:20:41.502 --> 00:20:44.720
Uh, and they were saying things like, well, this, this will make you stop stuttering.

447
00:20:45.461 --> 00:20:49.972
And, uh, I was powerless, uh, went home covered in urine.

448
00:20:51.075 --> 00:20:53.200
Uh, my mom asking me what happened.

449
00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:56.200
And I just couldn't, I just broke down crying, all that.

450
00:20:56.981 --> 00:21:02.160
From that moment on, there was a switch in me that went violent.

451
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:07.400
And so what happened was I would talk back.

452
00:21:07.561 --> 00:21:08.499
I would get in fights.

453
00:21:09.163 --> 00:21:10.140
I hated people.

454
00:21:11.464 --> 00:21:13.080
I wanted to inflict pain.

455
00:21:14.641 --> 00:21:17.560
And, you know, it was kind of like Guido, you know, in the old Italian movie.

456
00:21:18.164 --> 00:21:20.920
It's sorry, you know, I'm going to have to bump you off, but it's not personal.

457
00:21:21.463 --> 00:21:22.320
It was that kind of a thing.

458
00:21:22.783 --> 00:21:24.755
I'm going to inflict pain upon you or you.

459
00:21:24.775 --> 00:21:25.640
It's not personal.

460
00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:32.460
And that actually, when I got into junior high and high school, that worked great for sports.

461
00:21:34.486 --> 00:21:37.180
But at the drop of a hat, I'd go into a rage.

462
00:21:38.162 --> 00:21:39.140
Plus, I couldn't communicate.

463
00:21:40.540 --> 00:21:50.480
All that said, fast forward, when I came to Christ at the age of 19, only then did things begin to make sense to me.

464
00:21:52.386 --> 00:21:57.000
for me it was not god how could you do this to me how could you allow that to happen

465
00:21:58.846 --> 00:22:02.680
for me the foundation was always this oh my gosh i suffered all that kind of stuff

466
00:22:04.624 --> 00:22:11.400
and yet god had me live through this abortion in this life to come to know who he is

467
00:22:12.583 --> 00:22:18.440
and on june 20th 1977 calvary chapel costa mesa greg glory was doing a monday night service

468
00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:20.619
Keith Green, who I didn't know who that was,

469
00:22:21.101 --> 00:22:22.820
but Keith Green was on the panel that night.

470
00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:25.440
I later found that out from Greg Laurie himself told me that.

471
00:22:25.600 --> 00:22:28.600
But my life was changed that day.

472
00:22:29.243 --> 00:22:31.440
And I'm so glad you answered how you did

473
00:22:31.541 --> 00:22:32.779
because I can look back now

474
00:22:33.565 --> 00:22:35.580
and I hope the audience that's listening to us right now,

475
00:22:36.143 --> 00:22:38.820
here's two guys from different age groups,

476
00:22:39.343 --> 00:22:41.260
but with a story of redemption

477
00:22:42.328 --> 00:22:43.840
that now I can tell you,

478
00:22:44.142 --> 00:22:45.160
I wouldn't have changed a thing.

479
00:22:45.763 --> 00:22:46.900
All of the hardship of life,

480
00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:48.100
because people have got hardships

481
00:22:48.441 --> 00:22:55.000
in life, all those things become great stepping stones to what God wants to do in your life.

482
00:22:55.783 --> 00:22:56.987
And so you got saved.

483
00:22:57.007 --> 00:22:57.910
You're growing now.

484
00:22:58.432 --> 00:23:00.660
I appreciate what you said about your mom coming

485
00:23:00.740 --> 00:23:01.362
along later.

486
00:23:02.324 --> 00:23:08.040
My mom, my dad, my sister, it took decades for them watching me before they came to

487
00:23:08.100 --> 00:23:09.224
faith.

488
00:23:09.244 --> 00:23:11.813
My mom accepted the Lord four weeks before she died.

489
00:23:11.873 --> 00:23:14.000
My dad accepted the Lord a week before

490
00:23:14.602 --> 00:23:20.060
he died my sister seven years she had cancer she called me up i was teaching at the calvary chapel

491
00:23:20.562 --> 00:23:25.520
bible college and she called me she said can you come by my house on the way home i thought that

492
00:23:25.520 --> 00:23:31.020
was an odd request went by her house and she proceeded to tell me that she was dying of cancer

493
00:23:31.842 --> 00:23:39.200
told her about jesus and god kept her on for seven more years but um it's amazing because my mom my

494
00:23:39.280 --> 00:23:42.910
dad, my sister, all of them came to Christ.

495
00:23:43.452 --> 00:23:46.280
I shared with them, but to no avail, at least

496
00:23:46.520 --> 00:23:47.021
what I thought.

497
00:23:48.184 --> 00:23:53.595
In my home, cancer was the most effective evangelist in our home.

498
00:23:54.296 --> 00:23:55.759
But in 1983,

499
00:23:56.500 --> 00:23:59.668
God miraculously healed me of stuttering in the moment.

500
00:24:01.111 --> 00:24:04.700
But all that said, I want you to pick it

501
00:24:04.780 --> 00:24:10.271
up now to where you're a young man, you're in Christ, you're growing.

502
00:24:12.816 --> 00:24:14.520
You can now, you've just

503
00:24:14.600 --> 00:24:17.769
said so that God has turned these ashes into beauty.

504
00:24:19.474 --> 00:24:21.440
Take us, take us more on into your life.

505
00:24:21.520 --> 00:24:28.435
Yeah, it, it, the last year of high school was fun.

506
00:24:28.455 --> 00:24:31.020
I went from looking at the weird Christian

507
00:24:31.140 --> 00:24:35.859
kids that bugged me and I didn't like how they carried their Bibles around and just

508
00:24:36.908 --> 00:24:38.420
to now wanting to be around those kids.

509
00:24:38.861 --> 00:24:41.460
You know, it was a true born again experience.

510
00:24:41.660 --> 00:24:45.800
It was the things that I hated, all of a sudden I love, the things that I love, all of a sudden

511
00:24:45.925 --> 00:24:46.240
I hate.

512
00:24:46.361 --> 00:24:49.560
And so, yeah, you know, I started loving the church.

513
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:51.060
I started loving the Bible.

514
00:24:51.220 --> 00:24:52.600
I started loving being around Christians.

515
00:24:53.102 --> 00:24:55.560
I even loved CCM worship music.

516
00:24:55.660 --> 00:24:58.060
I thought it was so corny before I became, but now I love it.

517
00:24:58.622 --> 00:25:03.258
And then the subsequent, the sin that I once indulged in, I just couldn't do it anymore.

518
00:25:03.940 --> 00:25:05.239
It was like something just went off.

519
00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:09.700
And it was like when I was sexually immoral, I just felt sick.

520
00:25:10.040 --> 00:25:11.640
I felt so off.

521
00:25:12.340 --> 00:25:16.780
And so it was the Spirit of God showing me you can't just keep living this way.

522
00:25:18.202 --> 00:25:21.960
And about a year after high school, I meet my wife.

523
00:25:22.101 --> 00:25:22.980
Me and my wife started dating.

524
00:25:23.060 --> 00:25:24.160
We had known each other in high school.

525
00:25:26.165 --> 00:25:26.640
She's amazing.

526
00:25:26.884 --> 00:25:27.838
We've been married now.

527
00:25:28.662 --> 00:25:35.320
18 years excellent this july 5th together 22 years wow three kids yep levi's 11 is always five

528
00:25:35.802 --> 00:25:40.180
and we have a seven month old luke which is which has been amazing having another baby it's so cool

529
00:25:40.982 --> 00:25:46.780
um and so i think the the hard part for me is as much as i had like discipleship and i had

530
00:25:47.421 --> 00:25:55.260
amazing men of god in my life was there wasn't a ton of conversation with regards to what i would

531
00:25:55.480 --> 00:26:00.540
call now is the law of replacement it's like the lord removed all these things from me i don't have

532
00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:06.760
the same desire and appetite for sin and i served in the church and i read my bible right but what

533
00:26:06.800 --> 00:26:11.280
else am i supposed to do that's right and how do i walk out my purpose and my calling and how do i

534
00:26:11.340 --> 00:26:16.938
discover my calling and how do i how do i do something constructive with my time that is one

535
00:26:17.801 --> 00:26:23.260
replacing those evil things that need to be rooted and uprooted but also building and planting

536
00:26:23.380 --> 00:26:23.762
gardens.

537
00:26:24.244 --> 00:26:26.131
So something beautiful grows out of it.

538
00:26:26.553 --> 00:26:28.300
And that was the part that I didn't, I didn't

539
00:26:28.541 --> 00:26:29.104
understand.

540
00:26:29.124 --> 00:26:30.069
And it, and it took me a while.

541
00:26:30.130 --> 00:26:31.960
And so I, I would still struggle with porn and I was

542
00:26:31.980 --> 00:26:33.064
still struggling with these things.

543
00:26:33.726 --> 00:26:37.560
Um, and then when me and my wife got married, we, we both come

544
00:26:37.600 --> 00:26:41.760
from broken families and we know we didn't want to repeat the cycle that were divorced was not

545
00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:44.409
going to be even a word that we said ever.

546
00:26:44.690 --> 00:26:47.820
Um, and so we get married, we, we have our own place.

547
00:26:48.342 --> 00:26:51.999
and in the process, I discover that,

548
00:26:52.660 --> 00:26:55.180
man, I made a mess of my finances, right?

549
00:26:55.383 --> 00:26:56.180
I really made a mess.

550
00:26:56.540 --> 00:26:58.420
And how I discovered that

551
00:26:58.420 --> 00:26:59.840
is we started trying to get out of debt

552
00:27:00.645 --> 00:27:03.300
and then I had co-signed for a condo with my mom.

553
00:27:03.540 --> 00:27:04.960
That condo went into foreclosure.

554
00:27:05.704 --> 00:27:06.415
She didn't pay the HOAs.

555
00:27:06.760 --> 00:27:07.740
We had moved out at this point,

556
00:27:07.800 --> 00:27:08.860
but all of that was on my credit.

557
00:27:09.725 --> 00:27:12.318
And I got sued for that.

558
00:27:13.202 --> 00:27:14.660
My accounts got levied

559
00:27:15.422 --> 00:27:18.613
and I discovered that I had an additional second mortgage of 60,000.

560
00:27:18.673 --> 00:27:19.475
We had about 45,000 of student

561
00:27:21.020 --> 00:27:21.542
loan debts.

562
00:27:21.924 --> 00:27:25.780
And so here I am as a newlywed and I discovered that I'm a hundred thousand dollars

563
00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:26.201
in debt.

564
00:27:26.904 --> 00:27:31.960
And I didn't feel adequately prepared in terms of how am I supposed to navigate the

565
00:27:32.262 --> 00:27:33.046
practical side?

566
00:27:33.067 --> 00:27:35.260
I know there's a supernatural faith and I know I've had a heart change,

567
00:27:35.840 --> 00:27:37.285
but how do I clean this up?

568
00:27:38.048 --> 00:27:41.300
And in the midst of all this, I discovered Dave Ramsey and I

569
00:27:41.360 --> 00:27:44.087
discover the baby steps and I discover financial peace university.

570
00:27:44.769 --> 00:27:48.760
And we went so dialed in on the

571
00:27:48.800 --> 00:27:54.018
Ramsey stuff where, um, just listening to his podcast every day and listening.

572
00:27:54.239 --> 00:27:54.460
And this is

573
00:27:55.300 --> 00:27:56.965
2010 to 2012.

574
00:27:57.828 --> 00:28:01.960
We end up within 18 months, we end up becoming completely debt free.

575
00:28:02.664 --> 00:28:02.885
Yeah.

576
00:28:03.287 --> 00:28:05.460
And that changed everything for us because we've become debt free.

577
00:28:06.523 --> 00:28:08.510
which it was, it was, it was a lot of money.

578
00:28:08.770 --> 00:28:10.054
It was technically six figures.

579
00:28:11.218 --> 00:28:11.800
Listening to him,

580
00:28:11.840 --> 00:28:13.285
we helped negotiate some of that down.

581
00:28:14.189 --> 00:28:15.895
We ended up paying, I think about $45,000 off in 18 months.

582
00:28:17.781 --> 00:28:20.673
After that, we end up saving six months of living expenses.

583
00:28:20.713 --> 00:28:22.320
My wife gets to be a stay home mom.

584
00:28:22.942 --> 00:28:25.072
I went into ministry for two years at the church.

585
00:28:25.092 --> 00:28:25.876
I was out at the time.

586
00:28:25.916 --> 00:28:26.600
I didn't want to be in

587
00:28:26.660 --> 00:28:28.886
ministry while I had debt.

588
00:28:29.368 --> 00:28:33.760
And all of that culminated to just a total freedom financially

589
00:28:34.021 --> 00:28:38.060
to not, not that we were rich, but we were just in a way different spot coming from generational

590
00:28:38.200 --> 00:28:38.562
poverty.

591
00:28:38.582 --> 00:28:42.616
Look, in California, if you're debt free, you're probably rich.

592
00:28:43.258 --> 00:28:43.760
That's a good point.

593
00:28:43.800 --> 00:28:47.159
Somebody might drive by in that Mercedes or that Bentley, but they don't own it.

594
00:28:47.380 --> 00:28:48.112
In golden handcuffs.

595
00:28:48.214 --> 00:28:48.560
Exactly.

596
00:28:49.502 --> 00:28:53.519
And so I started discovering that there was this practical side of my faith, that there was this,

597
00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:59.097
if I believe the scriptures, that impacts how I handle my finances.

598
00:28:59.177 --> 00:29:00.080
That impacts how I take

599
00:29:00.100 --> 00:29:03.050
care of my body that impacts what kind of employee I am.

600
00:29:03.130 --> 00:29:03.592
I love it.

601
00:29:03.973 --> 00:29:06.020
And I, at the same time, so this

602
00:29:06.100 --> 00:29:09.092
is subsequently, I'm hanging with Lecrae.

603
00:29:09.112 --> 00:29:11.200
And I don't know if you remember this phase, but around

604
00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:13.253
the same time we had the reformed and restless phase.

605
00:29:13.293 --> 00:29:14.320
You remember this where everyone was a

606
00:29:14.360 --> 00:29:16.588
thousand point Calvinist for a couple of years?

607
00:29:16.628 --> 00:29:16.849
Yes.

608
00:29:17.592 --> 00:29:18.314
Thousand point.

609
00:29:18.595 --> 00:29:19.960
So I'm doing these events

610
00:29:19.980 --> 00:29:23.800
with Lecrae and these guys are all into the, you know, reformed theology and they're doing stuff

611
00:29:23.820 --> 00:29:26.853
with John Piper and Paul Washer and all this stuff.

612
00:29:26.974 --> 00:29:27.175
Right.

613
00:29:27.395 --> 00:29:28.400
And I'm doing these events and I

614
00:29:28.500 --> 00:29:32.160
remember I would I'm always the guy that I want to I want to sit and meet everyone after the

615
00:29:32.180 --> 00:29:35.320
concert so I'm going to meet and chat and I remember meeting these guys and they had all

616
00:29:35.340 --> 00:29:40.220
this great theology and they could articulate the gospel in the most robust ways all this

617
00:29:40.702 --> 00:29:45.080
you know rich language but when I would ask them about their personal lives and I would ask about

618
00:29:45.100 --> 00:29:51.240
their marriages and I would ask them about I know what kind of man are you becoming it it was again

619
00:29:51.601 --> 00:29:56.920
so disintegrated as people and I said man we have so much knowledge and so much did you not know

620
00:29:56.980 --> 00:29:58.039
You weren't supposed to ask that question.

621
00:29:58.140 --> 00:29:59.618
Yeah, apparently I'm not supposed to have these things.

622
00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:01.380
What kind of husband are you, right?

623
00:30:02.361 --> 00:30:08.380
But so little integration of our faith, so little implementation of all the information, right?

624
00:30:08.740 --> 00:30:10.740
Because the gospel should radically impact everybody.

625
00:30:10.740 --> 00:30:11.560
That's right, everywhere.

626
00:30:12.002 --> 00:30:12.328
Everywhere.

627
00:30:12.348 --> 00:30:13.040
It touches everything.

628
00:30:13.701 --> 00:30:15.220
And I just didn't see that.

629
00:30:15.380 --> 00:30:21.420
And so as I got into doing music and I got into podcasting, there was a deep part that was like,

630
00:30:21.460 --> 00:30:26.920
if I can capture these guys' attention, maybe I can help infuse some values and some wisdom to them

631
00:30:27.283 --> 00:30:29.520
that they're not thinking about when they're 21 years old,

632
00:30:29.600 --> 00:30:30.099
they're 22 years old,

633
00:30:30.261 --> 00:30:31.775
but they're going to be thinking about when they're 32 years old,

634
00:30:32.661 --> 00:30:35.960
when they got a family and their wife wants to stay home,

635
00:30:36.040 --> 00:30:37.620
which, fun fact, this might be offensive.

636
00:30:38.823 --> 00:30:39.160
Say it.

637
00:30:39.400 --> 00:30:44.120
76% of working women, and this is, according to secular data,

638
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:48.000
would prefer to stay home if they're given the opportunity.

639
00:30:48.243 --> 00:30:48.660
Absolutely.

640
00:30:49.304 --> 00:30:49.778
With kids, right?

641
00:30:49.944 --> 00:30:50.399
Yeah, absolutely.

642
00:30:50.761 --> 00:30:54.080
And this isn't Christian women, this isn't trad women,

643
00:30:54.181 --> 00:30:56.520
this isn't conservative women, this is just women.

644
00:30:57.281 --> 00:30:58.868
would prefer to stay home with kids.

645
00:30:58.948 --> 00:30:59.792
They're not fulfilled.

646
00:31:00.254 --> 00:31:01.720
This has been going on long enough,

647
00:31:03.423 --> 00:31:08.437
decades and decades to where now the woman is saying, hey, it's not fulfilling me.

648
00:31:09.059 --> 00:31:09.420
I'm missing

649
00:31:09.540 --> 00:31:10.202
a whole lot.

650
00:31:10.443 --> 00:31:10.984
Totally true.

651
00:31:11.325 --> 00:31:15.797
And I think men don't know that that's coming.

652
00:31:16.078 --> 00:31:16.579
They don't understand

653
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:17.523
that that's coming.

654
00:31:17.543 --> 00:31:19.652
And then women are getting in the same data.

655
00:31:20.315 --> 00:31:21.380
And this is Forbes woman.

656
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:21.440
So

657
00:31:21.500 --> 00:31:22.444
people can go look this up.

658
00:31:22.544 --> 00:31:26.620
Forbes woman found that many women aspire it as a part of their

659
00:31:26.660 --> 00:31:27.283
lifestyle.

660
00:31:27.865 --> 00:31:31.560
Um, and men don't know that like, Hey, yeah, like your wife may think she's a business

661
00:31:31.640 --> 00:31:34.453
woman or an independent boss, babe, or a go-getter or whatever.

662
00:31:34.754 --> 00:31:36.060
But the moment she pushes out another

663
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:43.580
human and sees that baby and the baby is holding onto her for sustenance, half, half the waking

664
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:47.734
hours, everything changes built designed by God to do that.

665
00:31:47.794 --> 00:31:47.975
Yep.

666
00:31:48.136 --> 00:31:49.019
And it's a beautiful thing.

667
00:31:49.159 --> 00:31:49.420
And so,

668
00:31:49.540 --> 00:31:53.860
and so I'm like, man, if I, if I understand this on a tacit level now, cause I've understood,

669
00:31:54.261 --> 00:31:59.140
hey decrease our overhead rice and beans beans and rice that's right get out of debt live a frugal

670
00:31:59.220 --> 00:32:03.380
lifestyle so that i could afford my wife the opportunity to stay home and just be a mom for a

671
00:32:03.460 --> 00:32:09.900
season um if i could if i could transfer that to other young men that's going to save a lot of

672
00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:13.940
headache when they're in their 30s and they discover that this is a lot harder than i thought

673
00:32:14.140 --> 00:32:21.440
great to get young men to think like that 10 years before they come to that that time to do it so i

674
00:32:21.881 --> 00:32:30.320
I always tell men and women, but I tell men, hey, there's a future version of you that's depending on the current version of you to make better decisions.

675
00:32:30.780 --> 00:32:30.860
Yeah.

676
00:32:31.141 --> 00:32:34.180
And when you think about that, okay, so what does that practically look like?

677
00:32:34.200 --> 00:32:42.180
Well, that looks like your faith now impacting how you're thinking about finances, how you're thinking about career, how you're thinking about all these different things.

678
00:32:42.801 --> 00:32:46.500
And this is also on the backdrop of there's never been a time like this before.

679
00:32:47.724 --> 00:32:49.340
You remember the world before the Internet.

680
00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:49.974
Absolutely.

681
00:32:50.302 --> 00:32:52.660
I'm the last generation that remembers the world before the end.

682
00:32:52.660 --> 00:32:52.750
Wow.

683
00:32:53.302 --> 00:32:54.240
Totally different world.

684
00:32:54.661 --> 00:32:55.637
Man, that's crazy.

685
00:32:55.960 --> 00:33:00.020
Now we've entered the era of the hyper-distracted, but the hyper-creative.

686
00:33:00.662 --> 00:33:01.520
And that's where everything is going.

687
00:33:01.620 --> 00:33:04.420
You're either going to be hyper-distracted, doom-scrolling your life away,

688
00:33:04.762 --> 00:33:06.680
or you're going to say, oh my gosh,

689
00:33:06.760 --> 00:33:09.240
could you imagine if the Apostle Paul came on the scene today

690
00:33:09.642 --> 00:33:12.720
and saw all of this technology and the entire world

691
00:33:12.821 --> 00:33:15.500
interconnected through these devices that they're addicted to

692
00:33:15.902 --> 00:33:19.800
and what we can do if we all contributed our time, talent, and treasure

693
00:33:19.880 --> 00:33:24.000
and how wild this is, and that we're not under Roman occupation,

694
00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:27.100
that we're not under persecution, that we have freedom of speech,

695
00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:31.000
that we have all these remnants and this fruit of the Protestant worldview,

696
00:33:31.480 --> 00:33:33.760
Protestant work ethic, that's formulated our country.

697
00:33:33.820 --> 00:33:35.259
I'm not saying our country is a one-to-one American nation.

698
00:33:35.340 --> 00:33:36.139
We understand that.

699
00:33:36.220 --> 00:33:37.540
But it's highly influenced.

700
00:33:37.621 --> 00:33:38.180
And this is not me.

701
00:33:38.280 --> 00:33:40.117
This is Tom Holland in Dominion.

702
00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:42.040
This is Glenn Scrivener in The Air We Breathe.

703
00:33:42.701 --> 00:33:46.220
The American experience is unique, unlike anything we've ever seen.

704
00:33:46.606 --> 00:33:46.859
Unlike, yep.

705
00:33:47.181 --> 00:33:51.840
And you add the internet and you add technology and it's like, man, what a time to be alive.

706
00:33:52.283 --> 00:33:52.497
Truly.

707
00:33:53.643 --> 00:33:54.460
Amazing to think.

708
00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:58.100
I got a, and this is very, I'm saying this because it's encouraging.

709
00:33:58.260 --> 00:34:00.040
I'm not saying this to self-flatter.

710
00:34:00.401 --> 00:34:02.480
I want people to take this right.

711
00:34:03.300 --> 00:34:05.476
So he's now with the Lord in heaven.

712
00:34:06.140 --> 00:34:09.620
But Dr. Ed Heinsohn used to be the Dean of Education at Liberty University.

713
00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:12.900
Dr. Ed Heinsohn has authored just a bazillion books.

714
00:34:15.104 --> 00:34:22.700
that said, he called me up one time and he said, Jack, I'm driving through somewhere in Virginia.

715
00:34:23.561 --> 00:34:26.589
And he said, your program popped up on the radio.

716
00:34:27.773 --> 00:34:30.460
And aren't you like, how many channels you guys

717
00:34:30.621 --> 00:34:30.781
on?

718
00:34:31.142 --> 00:34:34.013
I don't know, 900, a thousand channels.

719
00:34:34.715 --> 00:34:35.980
And he said, do you realize that you're probably

720
00:34:36.101 --> 00:34:40.780
reaching more people in one day than what Paul the Apostle reached in a lifetime physically?

721
00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:41.086
Wow.

722
00:34:41.941 --> 00:34:44.460
And I thought, that's kind of insane.

723
00:34:44.622 --> 00:34:45.259
I didn't tell him that.

724
00:34:45.700 --> 00:34:46.757
Hey, have a nice day, Dr. Ed.

725
00:34:47.542 --> 00:34:50.440
And I hung up and I thought, well, he's not known to be crazy.

726
00:34:51.462 --> 00:34:52.140
And you think about that.

727
00:34:52.240 --> 00:34:57.820
Paul had to get on a trail or on a camel or a donkey to go somewhere.

728
00:34:58.801 --> 00:35:07.980
He had to do it for decades where you can do a podcast or you can do a concert or you can do a message and get a million and a half views.

729
00:35:09.622 --> 00:35:12.146
And with that, it always blows my mind.

730
00:35:12.526 --> 00:35:22.520
It's kind of a sanctified terror that you and I have the opportunity to reach so many people, so we better say it true.

731
00:35:23.001 --> 00:35:23.834
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

732
00:35:23.854 --> 00:35:24.260
It's sacred.

733
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:25.503
Sacred.

734
00:35:25.764 --> 00:35:27.852
Because if we're not, woe unto us.

735
00:35:29.077 --> 00:35:29.740
Woe unto us.

736
00:35:30.081 --> 00:35:30.361
Yeah.

737
00:35:30.722 --> 00:35:35.234
And so in my professional journey, something interesting happened.

738
00:35:35.816 --> 00:35:37.340
I'm working jobs just trying to be faithful.

739
00:35:37.742 --> 00:35:42.580
My last real job before I went into ministry is I worked with adults with developmental disabilities.

740
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:44.780
One of the most fulfilling jobs I ever had.

741
00:35:44.960 --> 00:35:53.960
And it taught me, it gave me so much more than I gave it in terms of remembering people that are forgotten and serving people that society kind of overlooks.

742
00:35:54.945 --> 00:35:56.460
And so my character is being formed.

743
00:35:57.185 --> 00:35:58.120
I'm able to get out of debt.

744
00:35:59.523 --> 00:36:01.480
But I'm also serving in my local church.

745
00:36:01.802 --> 00:36:03.060
And I push this hard on people.

746
00:36:03.341 --> 00:36:07.880
You know, you serving in your local church does way more for you than you think you're giving to the local church.

747
00:36:08.525 --> 00:36:08.959
I'm serving.

748
00:36:10.486 --> 00:36:11.400
Every pastor said amen.

749
00:36:11.500 --> 00:36:18.380
No, because people think when we teach and when we're preaching the word and we tell people, go use your gift.

750
00:36:18.982 --> 00:36:20.500
God gave you at least one gift.

751
00:36:20.741 --> 00:36:21.640
Go use it.

752
00:36:22.942 --> 00:36:26.100
I kind of feel like they're thinking, oh, he just wants us to do something.

753
00:36:27.362 --> 00:36:32.260
I want to make the point that there's no such thing as spectator Christianity.

754
00:36:32.260 --> 00:36:32.490
Yep.

755
00:36:33.726 --> 00:36:35.460
your Christianity has a steering wheel on it,

756
00:36:35.681 --> 00:36:39.260
but you got to get out onto the lane and let him drive you.

757
00:36:39.560 --> 00:36:40.880
And so find out what that is.

758
00:36:40.980 --> 00:36:44.180
See a need and go about fulfilling that

759
00:36:44.281 --> 00:36:46.997
because that's where the word of God goes from theory

760
00:36:48.246 --> 00:36:50.320
to actual reality.

761
00:36:50.867 --> 00:36:51.480
And you know that.

762
00:36:52.104 --> 00:36:54.500
And for me, I just served wherever I was needed

763
00:36:55.167 --> 00:36:56.320
and wherever the need was.

764
00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:00.380
And it oddly enough had me, man, teaching the first graders

765
00:37:00.846 --> 00:37:02.000
and then the middle school kids

766
00:37:02.447 --> 00:37:03.240
and then the high school kids.

767
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:04.200
I did five-year-olds.

768
00:37:04.360 --> 00:37:06.760
Yeah, and it was, so I'm working a job

769
00:37:06.841 --> 00:37:07.960
where I'm having to learn to serve.

770
00:37:08.060 --> 00:37:08.940
I'm in church serving.

771
00:37:09.201 --> 00:37:11.120
And then we have this men's group on Monday night

772
00:37:11.242 --> 00:37:12.600
that we did for about a decade.

773
00:37:13.482 --> 00:37:15.740
And some amazing, amazing guys came out of that.

774
00:37:17.368 --> 00:37:18.199
And what would happen is,

775
00:37:19.121 --> 00:37:21.620
I'm just trying to be faithful to what's in front of me.

776
00:37:22.561 --> 00:37:25.160
And I understand that, man,

777
00:37:25.300 --> 00:37:28.900
what an opportunity it is to use hundreds of thousands

778
00:37:29.081 --> 00:37:31.580
of dollars of equipment that under any circumstance,

779
00:37:31.721 --> 00:37:33.980
I wouldn't even have access to touch this stuff.

780
00:37:34.240 --> 00:37:37.680
And here I am in a church and I get to play with cameras and I get to do the broadcast

781
00:37:37.760 --> 00:37:41.740
and I get to do the video, the switcher, the mixing, the lighting.

782
00:37:42.300 --> 00:37:45.040
And so I'm developing all these skills in a local church.

783
00:37:45.581 --> 00:37:48.580
I'm learning how to communicate because I have to communicate to middle school kids

784
00:37:48.600 --> 00:37:51.220
and high school kids and young adults and even teach on Sunday sometimes.

785
00:37:52.121 --> 00:37:57.000
And I'm doing this men's group where these guys are coming in from their week, working

786
00:37:57.102 --> 00:37:58.220
jobs, and they're freaking out.

787
00:37:58.400 --> 00:38:01.459
You know, we listened to Alec Jones today and he said they're going to turn the...

788
00:38:01.621 --> 00:38:03.360
The world's, they're turning the frogs gay.

789
00:38:03.684 --> 00:38:04.320
What are we going to do?

790
00:38:04.944 --> 00:38:06.000
The world's going to end tomorrow.

791
00:38:06.501 --> 00:38:11.740
And so, and so I'm having to take these guys and, and, and synthesize their anxieties and

792
00:38:11.740 --> 00:38:14.560
their pressures and their, and the things they're afraid of because of the diet that

793
00:38:14.560 --> 00:38:14.800
they're consuming.

794
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:14.935
Yeah.

795
00:38:15.160 --> 00:38:15.268
Yeah.

796
00:38:15.641 --> 00:38:16.940
And then take them right back to scripture.

797
00:38:17.020 --> 00:38:17.380
That's right.

798
00:38:17.542 --> 00:38:17.720
Right.

799
00:38:17.820 --> 00:38:22.460
And so in the same window, I work at my church, do the broadcast, do the live stream, all

800
00:38:22.520 --> 00:38:25.120
the stuff I'm doing now, I worked at a church and did for two years communicating.

801
00:38:25.302 --> 00:38:25.698
So good.

802
00:38:26.041 --> 00:38:30.718
And I pivot, I do music full time, uh, because I knew at 30, 29, 30 years old, I knew.

803
00:38:32.325 --> 00:38:34.659
I could come back to being a full-time minister when I'm 40.

804
00:38:35.201 --> 00:38:37.299
Can't really come back to being a Christian rapper when I'm 40.

805
00:38:37.723 --> 00:38:37.995
Good point.

806
00:38:38.787 --> 00:38:39.240
Pause right there.

807
00:38:39.300 --> 00:38:39.420
Sure.

808
00:38:39.680 --> 00:38:43.000
When did you realize that you had a voice or a voice that could be used?

809
00:38:43.442 --> 00:38:44.300
I mean, very early on.

810
00:38:45.361 --> 00:38:51.800
Very early on, I had a job at the city throwing concerts.

811
00:38:52.341 --> 00:38:56.400
Someone at the city heard that I was doing music and gave me a job throwing concerts

812
00:38:56.420 --> 00:38:58.520
at Brinkle Terrace Park, which is the park right next to my house.

813
00:38:58.863 --> 00:39:00.200
When you pull it up, there's a big park there.

814
00:39:00.444 --> 00:39:01.340
So I threw concerts there.

815
00:39:02.065 --> 00:39:03.580
I'd lead Bible studies in men's groups.

816
00:39:04.542 --> 00:39:06.380
Very early on, I knew I could communicate.

817
00:39:06.540 --> 00:39:10.160
For whatever reason, God gave me the ability to take complex things and put them in stories

818
00:39:10.262 --> 00:39:11.100
and make them simple for people.

819
00:39:11.980 --> 00:39:14.680
So, and I just did it wherever I was needed.

820
00:39:15.422 --> 00:39:17.440
And I did it long enough.

821
00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:18.920
I go into music.

822
00:39:19.181 --> 00:39:20.494
So I do music full-time 2015 to 2020.

823
00:39:21.822 --> 00:39:25.100
And at the same time, I build a community of other aspiring Christian rappers that are

824
00:39:25.100 --> 00:39:27.120
like, hey, man, you're providing for your wife and kid.

825
00:39:27.462 --> 00:39:28.540
You live in Southern California.

826
00:39:29.282 --> 00:39:31.420
You're not super-duper rich, but man, you're doing well.

827
00:39:31.501 --> 00:39:32.800
But you're living in Southern California.

828
00:39:32.900 --> 00:39:33.020
Yeah.

829
00:39:33.142 --> 00:39:33.699
How do you do it?

830
00:39:33.781 --> 00:39:34.340
Like, how do you do it?

831
00:39:34.340 --> 00:39:37.080
So I started teaching these guys, hey, this is how you, you know, build out your merch

832
00:39:37.145 --> 00:39:37.320
line.

833
00:39:37.461 --> 00:39:38.800
This is how you monetize your audience.

834
00:39:39.141 --> 00:39:40.200
This is how you do these things.

835
00:39:40.381 --> 00:39:45.380
As a Christian rapper, I don't want you to pursue this ministry of Christian rap when

836
00:39:45.681 --> 00:39:49.880
really you just kind of want to have a career as an artist at the altar of your family.

837
00:39:50.343 --> 00:39:51.840
And I saw it happening over and over.

838
00:39:51.900 --> 00:39:53.179
So I have this little community of guys.

839
00:39:53.602 --> 00:39:55.060
They're sending me their music to review.

840
00:39:55.380 --> 00:39:56.215
It's about three, 400 of them.

841
00:39:56.580 --> 00:39:58.500
My channel is at maybe five or 10,000 subscribers.

842
00:39:58.802 --> 00:40:01.540
And right around COVID, they started asking me deeper questions.

843
00:40:01.720 --> 00:40:03.520
So now they're asking me theological questions.

844
00:40:03.982 --> 00:40:05.660
They're asking me questions about the Bible.

845
00:40:05.800 --> 00:40:10.280
They're asking me questions about current events and this conspiracy theory.

846
00:40:10.460 --> 00:40:13.020
And I am just sharing my thoughts.

847
00:40:13.742 --> 00:40:16.400
And we started taking those clips, clipping them up.

848
00:40:17.061 --> 00:40:19.260
And instead of it just being advice and marketing advice,

849
00:40:19.663 --> 00:40:20.940
how do you make money as a Christian rapper?

850
00:40:21.081 --> 00:40:23.120
We started saying, hey, what about tongues?

851
00:40:23.641 --> 00:40:24.720
What about the spiritual gifts?

852
00:40:25.102 --> 00:40:28.440
What about this pastor, Ravi Zachariah, this thing?

853
00:40:28.881 --> 00:40:34.000
this guy you know what and i'm i'm just speaking very plainly the way me and you would probably

854
00:40:34.261 --> 00:40:38.100
be hanging out having lunch and we're just shooting and i and i started capturing that

855
00:40:38.461 --> 00:40:43.000
clipping it up so good and the channel just exploded over over covid yeah over covid is

856
00:40:43.983 --> 00:40:49.420
20 2020 i had 15 000 subscribers by the end of 2020 i was at like 60 000 subscribers awesome

857
00:40:49.741 --> 00:40:54.020
and i was that was a a huge growth yeah yeah exploded yeah so then i pivoted i'm like okay

858
00:40:54.080 --> 00:40:58.020
well lord i didn't want to be the christian christian influencer i didn't want to do i

859
00:40:58.060 --> 00:41:03.158
wanted my Christianity to be local and I wanted to just be a musician publicly.

860
00:41:03.218 --> 00:41:03.780
But for whatever

861
00:41:03.880 --> 00:41:07.820
reason, that those were the things that people gravitated towards publicly for me.

862
00:41:09.341 --> 00:41:14.773
Let's pause with this and go back over to your heritage.

863
00:41:15.996 --> 00:41:17.640
The Armenian culture,

864
00:41:18.562 --> 00:41:20.207
for whatever reason, maybe you can help.

865
00:41:20.748 --> 00:41:24.800
It has been the whipping post of Islam.

866
00:41:26.243 --> 00:41:33.060
if it wasn't for God's mercy, your ethnicity would have been eradicated from the face of the earth.

867
00:41:33.344 --> 00:41:34.040
Am I exaggerating?

868
00:41:34.060 --> 00:41:34.360
No, you're not.

869
00:41:34.482 --> 00:41:35.160
Armenian genocide.

870
00:41:35.481 --> 00:41:36.840
Can you talk a little bit about that?

871
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:37.120
Yeah.

872
00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:42.580
So Armenia is this smaller Christian nation right in the middle.

873
00:41:43.020 --> 00:41:44.780
You've got Turkey to the west.

874
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:51.560
You've got Azerbaijan to the east, which their whole saying is two states, one people.

875
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:55.300
So they're like, hey, we're two different nations, but we're really the same people.

876
00:41:55.780 --> 00:41:57.120
You've got the Arzis, you've got the Turks.

877
00:41:58.262 --> 00:42:00.939
Just south of Armenia, you've got Iran, right?

878
00:42:01.361 --> 00:42:05.000
And so it's just nestled under very hostile forces.

879
00:42:05.581 --> 00:42:10.420
And you know this, as things get hard in a society, you need to scapegoat someone.

880
00:42:11.080 --> 00:42:14.700
We tragically saw it with the Jews in the Holocaust, right?

881
00:42:15.081 --> 00:42:21.040
But what people don't know is that what inspired Hitler to do the Holocaust and the Jews is the Armenian Genocide.

882
00:42:21.121 --> 00:42:23.980
Because Hitler said, yeah, he said, who remembers the Armenians?

883
00:42:24.962 --> 00:42:25.939
Who's talking about the Armenians?

884
00:42:26.500 --> 00:42:26.637
Yeah.

885
00:42:27.141 --> 00:42:30.079
And so the Armenians, millions wiped out.

886
00:42:31.389 --> 00:42:31.560
Wow.

887
00:42:32.020 --> 00:42:40.900
And it was because of the young Turks, a lot of revolutionary change with the fall of the Ottoman Empire, all that stuff, the young Turks.

888
00:42:41.040 --> 00:42:43.360
And so they come on the scene and it just was bloody.

889
00:42:44.022 --> 00:42:46.720
And they continue all living in proximity together.

890
00:42:46.881 --> 00:42:52.480
And so, tragically, Armenia hasn't had a lot of support of the West.

891
00:42:53.545 --> 00:42:54.058
So strange.

892
00:42:54.805 --> 00:42:55.960
It is a Christian nation.

893
00:42:56.060 --> 00:42:56.197
Yeah.

894
00:42:56.380 --> 00:42:58.000
The culture is amazing.

895
00:42:58.140 --> 00:42:58.914
The people are amazing.

896
00:42:59.702 --> 00:43:00.719
They're through and through.

897
00:43:02.001 --> 00:43:06.339
As Western as you can get in that part of the world, you're going to find a lot of overlap with the Armenian.

898
00:43:06.761 --> 00:43:13.200
Well, and you know this way better than I do, but I enjoy, oh, man.

899
00:43:14.485 --> 00:43:15.440
It's a part of L.A.

900
00:43:15.722 --> 00:43:16.134
I say L.A.

901
00:43:17.109 --> 00:43:17.560
Glendale.

902
00:43:17.680 --> 00:43:19.140
Glendale, yes, where all the Armenians are.

903
00:43:19.181 --> 00:43:19.697
Yes, it is.

904
00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:20.040
The diaspora.

905
00:43:20.641 --> 00:43:33.600
You know how Glendale, they say that the reason why Glendale was so flooded with Armenians, there was a, I'm going to butcher this, but there was a prophetic word from an Armenian priest that there was going to be a genocide.

906
00:43:34.721 --> 00:43:38.120
And a lot of the families flooded to Southern California.

907
00:43:38.560 --> 00:43:40.240
The Kardashians, probably the most notable.

908
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:41.600
People can go look this up for themselves.

909
00:43:41.940 --> 00:43:44.880
And it was because there was a prophetic word of like, you need to get the heck out of Armenia.

910
00:43:45.282 --> 00:43:46.620
And that's when the diaspora started.

911
00:43:47.181 --> 00:43:53.180
What a remarkable thing, because for those who don't realize this or know this, but it's pretty bizarre.

912
00:43:54.741 --> 00:43:59.200
I don't want to sound too, what's the word, hyper-Pentecostal-like.

913
00:44:00.701 --> 00:44:04.740
But I think the Christian, when you go through certain areas, you have discernment.

914
00:44:05.060 --> 00:44:10.560
You can sense that there's something wrong in this area or this place or this person.

915
00:44:13.482 --> 00:44:16.360
And, you know, with municipalities, there's principalities.

916
00:44:16.602 --> 00:44:16.920
Absolutely.

917
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:18.800
And so what's...

918
00:44:18.820 --> 00:44:19.860
That's why I stay out of Los Angeles.

919
00:44:20.403 --> 00:44:20.780
You know what?

920
00:44:20.903 --> 00:44:21.320
No joke.

921
00:44:23.466 --> 00:44:24.260
That is not a joke.

922
00:44:24.400 --> 00:44:30.020
Because what's interesting is if you go to that Glendale area, there's prosperity.

923
00:44:30.883 --> 00:44:31.619
There's peace.

924
00:44:33.186 --> 00:44:33.900
Look, I'll be blunt.

925
00:44:33.960 --> 00:44:34.900
I'm going to tell you right now.

926
00:44:35.867 --> 00:44:36.780
I've seen it with my own eyes.

927
00:44:37.941 --> 00:44:40.278
Very, very few Muslims.

928
00:44:41.424 --> 00:44:45.620
and if you do see them at the Americana or some of those other shopping areas,

929
00:44:46.044 --> 00:44:47.199
they're very well behaved.

930
00:44:47.800 --> 00:44:56.180
There is such an awesome presence of Armenian people that I enjoy

931
00:44:56.484 --> 00:44:57.599
and you can feel the peace.

932
00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:01.240
You can feel the rest versus, like you said,

933
00:45:01.621 --> 00:45:06.280
you go into certain areas of L.A. where you get this feeling

934
00:45:07.048 --> 00:45:08.220
where I think we need to leave.

935
00:45:08.784 --> 00:45:10.100
We need to get out of here as soon as we can.

936
00:45:11.102 --> 00:45:16.420
Um, that said, in light of this prophecy that you're referring to, I don't doubt it.

937
00:45:16.864 --> 00:45:17.399
I don't doubt it.

938
00:45:17.460 --> 00:45:23.640
And I say it this way because there's such a profound sense of, uh, of witness of light

939
00:45:24.002 --> 00:45:26.060
that's, that's there in the Glendale area.

940
00:45:27.380 --> 00:45:27.780
Remarkable.

941
00:45:28.521 --> 00:45:33.580
So yeah, a lot of people don't realize too, that when you go to Jerusalem, the old city,

942
00:45:33.862 --> 00:45:35.020
there's an Armenian section.

943
00:45:35.320 --> 00:45:36.060
Have you been through the Armenian?

944
00:45:36.426 --> 00:45:36.960
Many times.

945
00:45:37.207 --> 00:45:37.539
Love it.

946
00:45:37.800 --> 00:45:37.960
Cool.

947
00:45:38.020 --> 00:45:38.152
Right.

948
00:45:38.541 --> 00:45:39.639
Every, everything about it.

949
00:45:39.785 --> 00:45:40.098
I love it.

950
00:45:40.261 --> 00:45:42.420
The people, the food, everything about the culture.

951
00:45:42.520 --> 00:45:42.634
Yeah.

952
00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:43.217
Spectacular.

953
00:45:43.380 --> 00:45:43.494
Yeah.

954
00:45:44.585 --> 00:45:47.040
When we went there, we had some friends that walked us through it,

955
00:45:47.100 --> 00:45:50.740
and they took us to the Church of James, the brother of Jesus.

956
00:45:51.824 --> 00:45:53.059
And it was amazing.

957
00:45:53.120 --> 00:45:53.619
Just something.

958
00:45:53.781 --> 00:45:54.520
Yeah, super cool.

959
00:45:54.901 --> 00:45:55.220
So great.

960
00:45:55.560 --> 00:46:03.300
Curious, you mentioned seeking asylum, Australia, Israel, U.S. was last.

961
00:46:05.447 --> 00:46:06.040
Why Australia?

962
00:46:06.907 --> 00:46:07.259
I don't know.

963
00:46:07.580 --> 00:46:07.700
Interesting.

964
00:46:07.700 --> 00:46:08.280
I have no idea.

965
00:46:08.541 --> 00:46:11.696
I mean, I think there's just, they knew that there was persecution.

966
00:46:13.541 --> 00:46:15.900
They knew that they started offering it up.

967
00:46:16.060 --> 00:46:20.240
And for whatever reason, Australia was one of the people that was willing to take in Armenians, Israel.

968
00:46:20.561 --> 00:46:22.120
Israel probably has, because Armenian quarter.

969
00:46:22.440 --> 00:46:22.700
Armenian quarter.

970
00:46:23.205 --> 00:46:23.760
Armenian presence.

971
00:46:23.800 --> 00:46:24.139
That's right.

972
00:46:24.801 --> 00:46:27.300
And then, yeah, and the United States, San Diego.

973
00:46:27.840 --> 00:46:28.377
And so, yeah.

974
00:46:29.120 --> 00:46:34.160
Oddly enough, Israel and San Diego have very similar, or Tel Aviv and San Diego have very similar climates.

975
00:46:34.200 --> 00:46:35.940
Climate, the landscape.

976
00:46:36.545 --> 00:46:37.100
Exactly right.

977
00:46:37.367 --> 00:46:37.900
Exactly right.

978
00:46:38.641 --> 00:46:45.380
So moving forward in with what time we have, let's talk about your music.

979
00:46:47.404 --> 00:46:49.180
Where do you get the inspiration to do this?

980
00:46:49.300 --> 00:46:55.500
Where do you, and I'll just ask out of ignorance, the songs that you sing, do you write your songs?

981
00:46:55.982 --> 00:46:57.300
Where do people get your songs?

982
00:46:57.861 --> 00:47:01.440
How do those who are not familiar with you become familiar with you?

983
00:47:01.780 --> 00:47:06.800
Yeah, the music was just, it was something I had done before I was a Christian.

984
00:47:07.582 --> 00:47:16.320
And I remember becoming a Christian and reading the story of Moses and reading Joshua and then reading David.

985
00:47:16.640 --> 00:47:23.100
And I remember seeing within all those three stories, when Moses goes to talk to Pharaoh, it says God took the staff that was in his hand.

986
00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:24.321
Right.

987
00:47:24.521 --> 00:47:33.540
When Joshua, they take the loss of Ai and then they go back in and it says the javelin that was in Joshua's hand.

988
00:47:33.861 --> 00:47:34.042
Right.

989
00:47:34.062 --> 00:47:37.860
When David fights Goliath, he takes the sling and the stones that were in his hand.

990
00:47:38.301 --> 00:47:43.320
So God has this interesting way throughout the scriptures of utilizing whatever's in your hand that you're already good at.

991
00:47:43.840 --> 00:47:47.100
And I thought, well, apparently I'm good at rapping.

992
00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:51.280
I was doing rap battles around the school and winning talent shows.

993
00:47:51.420 --> 00:47:56.920
I remember one year we won the talent show of the band Battle of the Bands.

994
00:47:57.020 --> 00:47:59.600
It was a rap group that won a talent show and it's scandalized.

995
00:47:59.860 --> 00:48:00.913
How could this happen?

996
00:48:00.933 --> 00:48:01.480
How could this happen?

997
00:48:02.062 --> 00:48:07.040
And I was like, okay, so now that I'm a Christian, this part of my life has to get consecrated.

998
00:48:07.160 --> 00:48:09.760
What I'm listening to and also what I'm creating needs to get consecrated.

999
00:48:10.480 --> 00:48:17.880
And I just chipped away at it and chipped away at it and started to make a little bit of money in 2008 when I got married.

1000
00:48:18.140 --> 00:48:23.540
And then 2011, 2012, really put the foot on the gas and we released a song a week.

1001
00:48:24.401 --> 00:48:27.754
And then, yeah, it became my full-time way to provide for my family in 2015 to 2020.

1002
00:48:30.046 --> 00:48:31.940
and the music is really just an overflow

1003
00:48:32.182 --> 00:48:33.920
of the season that I'm in.

1004
00:48:34.040 --> 00:48:36.080
And so it's different now than it was 10 years ago.

1005
00:48:36.860 --> 00:48:39.740
Yeah, and most of it is available on Spotify, Apple Music.

1006
00:48:39.900 --> 00:48:40.900
People can check it out there.

1007
00:48:41.021 --> 00:48:42.480
But I just finished a new project

1008
00:48:42.702 --> 00:48:44.619
that I haven't released on any DSPs.

1009
00:48:44.840 --> 00:48:47.140
We have it just on my website, physical CD.

1010
00:48:47.240 --> 00:48:48.199
We're gonna make vinyls too.

1011
00:48:49.361 --> 00:48:51.940
And I don't wanna put it on Spotify

1012
00:48:52.201 --> 00:48:55.540
until I feel like, it's also kind of like a work in progress.

1013
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:56.820
So I'm just kind of going back

1014
00:48:56.881 --> 00:48:58.119
and tweaking and tinkering on it.

1015
00:48:58.723 --> 00:49:01.900
And I also want to properly promote it.

1016
00:49:02.020 --> 00:49:09.720
And because of what I do on YouTube and the speaking and the writing, my brain, I want to really lock in and make sure I promote it, right?

1017
00:49:09.861 --> 00:49:11.420
And so I'll probably release a couple singles.

1018
00:49:11.580 --> 00:49:14.500
I released a song earlier this year that's doing really well.

1019
00:49:16.323 --> 00:49:18.140
And, yeah, and so that's been good.

1020
00:49:18.180 --> 00:49:22.780
So they can pick it up on most DSPs, but the album, if they want the album, they can go to blessgod.co.

1021
00:49:23.262 --> 00:49:24.240
And we're selling physical CDs.

1022
00:49:24.320 --> 00:49:27.960
And when they buy it, they can open it, and there's a QR code, and they can listen to it right on their phone.

1023
00:49:28.064 --> 00:49:28.360
I love it.

1024
00:49:28.542 --> 00:49:30.720
I think the idea of physical things is coming back.

1025
00:49:30.900 --> 00:49:31.774
Vinyl, CDs, books.

1026
00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:33.277
People want tactile.

1027
00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:34.600
Young people getting Bibles.

1028
00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:35.910
I love this Bible.

1029
00:49:36.640 --> 00:49:37.800
My buddy Adam just got me this.

1030
00:49:37.841 --> 00:49:39.039
I noticed that when you brought that in.

1031
00:49:39.180 --> 00:49:40.298
With my name on it.

1032
00:49:40.620 --> 00:49:42.070
Been walking with Jesus for over 20 years.

1033
00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:46.340
This is the second Bible someone gave me with my name on it.

1034
00:49:46.360 --> 00:49:47.579
I've never had a Bible with my name on it.

1035
00:49:47.880 --> 00:49:50.400
First Bible was earlier this year.

1036
00:49:50.823 --> 00:49:52.960
I spoke at Dr. David Jeremiah's church.

1037
00:49:53.060 --> 00:49:53.320
Love him.

1038
00:49:53.460 --> 00:49:55.320
First guy that gave me a Bible with my name on it.

1039
00:49:55.320 --> 00:49:55.410
Man.

1040
00:49:55.700 --> 00:49:55.860
Yeah.

1041
00:49:56.001 --> 00:49:58.360
So anyway, yes, people like physical stuff.

1042
00:49:58.480 --> 00:49:59.940
And so I'm like, okay, people like physical stuff.

1043
00:49:59.980 --> 00:50:04.480
That's why we have a prayer journal, 60-day devotional, physical things that you can write in.

1044
00:50:04.680 --> 00:50:07.220
I think there's something different when you're tactile writing.

1045
00:50:07.482 --> 00:50:08.380
Even you have your notes here.

1046
00:50:08.980 --> 00:50:11.157
Something versus like having an iPad and your notes.

1047
00:50:12.365 --> 00:50:12.980
Man, so true.

1048
00:50:14.680 --> 00:50:22.520
How do you, because you've got so many opportunities because God's given you gifts.

1049
00:50:22.861 --> 00:50:26.080
And let's be honest, all that's true.

1050
00:50:26.680 --> 00:50:34.860
You've also, by God's grace, you have processed things rightly, the bad things that were done to you.

1051
00:50:35.702 --> 00:50:38.440
You in Christ have worked through those things.

1052
00:50:38.680 --> 00:50:40.060
You've landed at the right spot.

1053
00:50:40.461 --> 00:50:49.760
That said, how do you manage the uniqueness of all the various things that you're skilled at and being a dad, being a husband?

1054
00:50:50.667 --> 00:50:51.519
How do you do that?

1055
00:50:52.580 --> 00:51:01.440
Well, I think a lie that we often get told is the lie of work-life balance, that everything is always going to have a perfect balance to it.

1056
00:51:02.041 --> 00:51:05.480
And I think that the older I get, the more I discover that it's much more of a juggle.

1057
00:51:06.122 --> 00:51:07.020
That's a good word.

1058
00:51:07.060 --> 00:51:07.899
And less of a balance.

1059
00:51:08.501 --> 00:51:11.060
The CEO of Coke put it this way.

1060
00:51:11.100 --> 00:51:13.740
He said, you know, you have these different things that you're juggling in life.

1061
00:51:13.781 --> 00:51:14.499
You've got your health.

1062
00:51:14.985 --> 00:51:15.780
You've got your family.

1063
00:51:16.445 --> 00:51:17.300
Then you have your career.

1064
00:51:17.600 --> 00:51:21.060
You have your other passions, and you're juggling these things.

1065
00:51:21.361 --> 00:51:32.040
And he said, when you're juggling your career and your dreams and your ministry, he said those things are like rubber balls.

1066
00:51:32.861 --> 00:51:33.780
They can fall.

1067
00:51:34.462 --> 00:51:34.939
They'll be fine.

1068
00:51:36.181 --> 00:51:41.100
But when your family is in there and your health is in there and your faith is in there, those are like glass.

1069
00:51:42.162 --> 00:51:42.558
Prioritize.

1070
00:51:42.863 --> 00:51:44.400
They're going to fall, and they might shatter.

1071
00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:44.980
They might break.

1072
00:51:45.080 --> 00:51:45.720
And they're not going to die.

1073
00:51:45.740 --> 00:51:46.620
They might get scuffed.

1074
00:51:47.360 --> 00:51:51.600
And so I think the prioritization for me is there's a hierarchy of values.

1075
00:51:51.680 --> 00:51:52.780
There's a hierarchy of priorities.

1076
00:51:54.180 --> 00:52:01.040
Who I am as a husband, who I am as a father, who I am in my home is top priority, and nothing really functions.

1077
00:52:01.360 --> 00:52:06.240
I mean, if me and my wife are not in a good spot, I feel like a total fraud going out and preaching, right?

1078
00:52:06.462 --> 00:52:08.400
So I've got to make sure my marriage is solid.

1079
00:52:08.500 --> 00:52:10.140
I've got to make sure I'm good, you know?

1080
00:52:10.762 --> 00:52:12.680
My personal devotion to Jesus is good.

1081
00:52:12.901 --> 00:52:19.120
So daily stuff like, hey, I'm going to read the scriptures and I'm not going to go on YouTube and regurgitate what I just read.

1082
00:52:19.321 --> 00:52:20.159
That was for me.

1083
00:52:20.740 --> 00:52:21.420
That's so good to hear.

1084
00:52:22.741 --> 00:52:29.420
And so, yeah, you know, simple things like last night at the end of the day, I just got on the ground and played with my kids for an hour.

1085
00:52:29.742 --> 00:52:31.639
And just they want to walk on my back.

1086
00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:36.900
And, you know, I'm playing with my seven month old and they're all together and they all want to do this.

1087
00:52:37.020 --> 00:52:38.200
And this one, they have no idea.

1088
00:52:38.300 --> 00:52:39.480
But the word is access.

1089
00:52:39.600 --> 00:52:42.000
They're growing up knowing I've got access to my dad.

1090
00:52:42.020 --> 00:52:42.220
Yes.

1091
00:52:42.340 --> 00:52:42.440
Yeah.

1092
00:52:42.500 --> 00:52:48.120
So playing dolls with my five-year-old, playing Mario Kart with my 11-year-old, taking my seven-month-old on a walk.

1093
00:52:48.181 --> 00:52:48.780
That's like our thing.

1094
00:52:48.860 --> 00:52:53.080
Every day we go, we get two or three walks together and meet the neighbors and do the pleasantries.

1095
00:52:53.200 --> 00:52:54.220
And it's super sweet.

1096
00:52:54.420 --> 00:52:59.760
And then, yeah, me and my wife, I mean, we've been together so long, but we're like, she's just fun.

1097
00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:00.639
Like, we just have fun.

1098
00:53:00.900 --> 00:53:04.260
We don't have a, with a little kid right now, we don't have like a regular date night.

1099
00:53:04.402 --> 00:53:05.038
I think that's good.

1100
00:53:05.481 --> 00:53:06.480
But that's not the place that we're in.

1101
00:53:06.480 --> 00:53:06.860
That's right.

1102
00:53:07.321 --> 00:53:13.360
But we just laugh around the house and play fight and do silly stuff and laugh and have fun together.

1103
00:53:13.880 --> 00:53:15.320
And I think like as long as that's in order.

1104
00:53:15.580 --> 00:53:19.840
And then dinner looks like this, rose and thorn and then Bible trivia.

1105
00:53:20.300 --> 00:53:23.040
So we're asking age-appropriate questions to my five-year-old.

1106
00:53:23.301 --> 00:53:25.140
Name me one of the four gospels.

1107
00:53:26.463 --> 00:53:27.840
Asking my son more advanced questions.

1108
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:29.080
He's asking us questions.

1109
00:53:29.461 --> 00:53:30.560
And so it's like Bible trivia.

1110
00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:34.577
And then usually my five-year-old will spout out a verse, John 4, 12.

1111
00:53:35.321 --> 00:53:37.820
And so we'll look it up and just read the verse to her, you know.

1112
00:53:38.141 --> 00:53:42.040
So we're always trying to infuse the faith within everything that we do.

1113
00:53:42.481 --> 00:53:48.460
So not just say your prayers and eat your vitamins, but really being integrated as a family with our faith.

1114
00:53:48.980 --> 00:53:54.540
So the beautiful thing about what you're saying, and it has a lot to do with why you're on this program right now,

1115
00:53:55.021 --> 00:54:01.980
is the fact that there is no place in our lives where Christ is exempt.

1116
00:54:03.564 --> 00:54:09.220
and that being the case he's infused into everything that we do because he's he's there

1117
00:54:09.721 --> 00:54:16.640
in those things and um your testimony is one of great power and great redemption

1118
00:54:17.767 --> 00:54:19.759
that people who have suffered but they

1119
00:54:22.067 --> 00:54:26.380
but we'll just call because it's convenient to call this church hurt a lot of people will use

1120
00:54:26.520 --> 00:54:29.760
church hurt to, what, stay victimized?

1121
00:54:30.962 --> 00:54:34.320
Have the, what, the perceived self

1122
00:54:34.642 --> 00:54:36.620
justification of complaining?

1123
00:54:39.923 --> 00:54:42.260
And if I understand my

1124
00:54:42.340 --> 00:54:43.928
gospel correctly, there's no place for that.

1125
00:54:44.712 --> 00:54:46.320
That's to be taken to the cross and

1126
00:54:46.360 --> 00:54:47.024
to be conquered.

1127
00:54:47.084 --> 00:54:49.517
And with what

1128
00:54:50.281 --> 00:54:54.380
closing words we have, what would you say to a young person

1129
00:54:56.066 --> 00:54:59.600
that has been, in their minds, abused by God?

1130
00:55:00.201 --> 00:55:02.060
Look for maybe not in their minds.

1131
00:55:02.461 --> 00:55:04.960
In reality, they've been abused by the world,

1132
00:55:05.180 --> 00:55:06.179
abused by the church.

1133
00:55:06.824 --> 00:55:07.779
They don't fit in.

1134
00:55:09.703 --> 00:55:11.080
Everything they do seems to flop.

1135
00:55:14.165 --> 00:55:14.979
What would you say to them?

1136
00:55:15.721 --> 00:55:18.097
I have my idea, but I want to hear yours.

1137
00:55:20.727 --> 00:55:22.400
Yeah, I would say scripture to them.

1138
00:55:22.801 --> 00:55:28.700
You know, I go Romans 8, 28, all things work for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

1139
00:55:29.662 --> 00:55:32.720
And I think there's so much richness in that verse, right?

1140
00:55:32.780 --> 00:55:36.140
It's like the worldly version of that is all things work for good.

1141
00:55:36.441 --> 00:55:37.340
Oh, yeah, they leave out the...

1142
00:55:37.340 --> 00:55:40.075
They leave out the, oh, life is happening to you, right?

1143
00:55:41.722 --> 00:55:44.580
Or life is happening for you, not to you and all those things.

1144
00:55:45.001 --> 00:55:51.220
But all things work for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.

1145
00:55:51.680 --> 00:55:56.260
Now, my question would be, if you love God and are you called according to his purpose,

1146
00:55:56.360 --> 00:55:59.380
I think what we do many times is we're trying to get God in on our purpose.

1147
00:55:59.540 --> 00:55:59.900
Exactly.

1148
00:56:00.160 --> 00:56:02.900
Hey, God, I got this thing and I need you to bless it.

1149
00:56:03.020 --> 00:56:03.740
I got this dream.

1150
00:56:03.801 --> 00:56:04.358
Promote it, God.

1151
00:56:04.521 --> 00:56:05.799
I want you to do this thing.

1152
00:56:06.140 --> 00:56:08.080
The scripture says that humility precedes honor.

1153
00:56:08.183 --> 00:56:08.520
Right on.

1154
00:56:08.561 --> 00:56:09.760
So you got to first be humbled.

1155
00:56:10.340 --> 00:56:14.520
And then I think the approach shouldn't be, hey, God, I got this thing I want to do.

1156
00:56:14.580 --> 00:56:15.540
Can you get in on my thing?

1157
00:56:15.600 --> 00:56:17.140
But hey, God, what are you doing?

1158
00:56:17.482 --> 00:56:18.360
And where are you moving?

1159
00:56:18.703 --> 00:56:18.820
Yeah.

1160
00:56:18.901 --> 00:56:20.178
And how are you speaking?

1161
00:56:20.564 --> 00:56:20.840
I love that.

1162
00:56:20.840 --> 00:56:22.520
And how can I get in on what you're doing?

1163
00:56:22.821 --> 00:56:25.699
And what role can I play in what you're doing right now?

1164
00:56:26.221 --> 00:56:28.740
And then it removes us as a paradigm shift.

1165
00:56:28.800 --> 00:56:30.940
And I'm not the main character of the story.

1166
00:56:31.480 --> 00:56:34.240
A lot of young people, and this might be harsh, they have main character syndrome.

1167
00:56:34.600 --> 00:56:39.800
They think that their life is a movie and everyone is playing a supporting role or an extra in their story.

1168
00:56:39.860 --> 00:56:41.240
That's exactly how they've been brought up.

1169
00:56:41.280 --> 00:56:42.100
That's how they've been conditioned.

1170
00:56:42.482 --> 00:56:44.660
The selfie, you're the center of the universe.

1171
00:56:44.921 --> 00:56:45.880
Everything revolves around you.

1172
00:56:46.381 --> 00:56:47.860
The reality is everything revolves around Jesus.

1173
00:56:48.280 --> 00:56:51.340
Everything, all things are made through him and for him.

1174
00:56:51.921 --> 00:56:52.273
That's right.

1175
00:56:52.780 --> 00:56:54.520
I just preached at my buddy Chris Hilkin's church.

1176
00:56:55.683 --> 00:56:57.860
He did Colossians, the first half of the chapter.

1177
00:56:57.960 --> 00:56:58.700
I did the second half of the chapter.

1178
00:56:58.841 --> 00:57:00.097
It's like Jesus is everything.

1179
00:57:00.480 --> 00:57:01.640
Jesus is the center of the story.

1180
00:57:01.960 --> 00:57:06.120
So if Jesus is the center of the story, that means he gives me an invitation to get in on his story.

1181
00:57:06.220 --> 00:57:06.519
Right on.

1182
00:57:06.840 --> 00:57:12.480
And when I look at his story, the work of redemption on humanity, I go, okay, what can I contribute to this?

1183
00:57:12.540 --> 00:57:20.000
How can I offer up something to use my time, talent, and treasure to say, Lord, I want to be in on what you're doing right now with people.

1184
00:57:20.741 --> 00:57:22.760
And however that looks, whatever that looks.

1185
00:57:22.880 --> 00:57:37.200
And often it looks like playing the background for a decade or a season, being the guy that's behind the scenes, running the videos, which are working with the adults with developmental disabilities, leading the kids for a season.

1186
00:57:37.940 --> 00:57:41.840
And then all of a sudden God will open up doors and bring things to fruition.

1187
00:57:42.566 --> 00:57:44.260
One of my good friends is Bryce Crawford.

1188
00:57:44.785 --> 00:57:45.800
I think you're familiar with Bryce Crawford.

1189
00:57:45.860 --> 00:57:46.820
Bryce Crawford is amazing.

1190
00:57:47.044 --> 00:57:47.599
He's 22 years old.

1191
00:57:47.920 --> 00:57:48.880
The Lord's using him in mighty ways.

1192
00:57:49.420 --> 00:57:55.140
But young people start, Christian young people start thinking that Bryce Crawford is the rule, not the exception to the rule.

1193
00:57:55.600 --> 00:57:56.620
And if they forget, no, no, no.

1194
00:57:56.922 --> 00:57:57.660
He's an anomaly.

1195
00:57:58.300 --> 00:58:03.900
He is an anomaly in every, his zeal for the Lord, his knowledge of Scripture, the fact that he's been discipled well.

1196
00:58:05.241 --> 00:58:10.659
Most of us at 22 can't handle influence and money and success and access to access.

1197
00:58:11.040 --> 00:58:11.561
destroys.

1198
00:58:11.802 --> 00:58:12.624
You don't want that.

1199
00:58:13.025 --> 00:58:18.839
So you find your groove in your 30s, you know, and in your 40s

1200
00:58:19.140 --> 00:58:21.228
and in your 50s, and that's okay.

1201
00:58:21.429 --> 00:58:23.195
And so I think a lot of us want it now.

1202
00:58:23.577 --> 00:58:23.958
Exactly.

1203
00:58:23.978 --> 00:58:24.460
We want it now.

1204
00:58:24.600 --> 00:58:27.593
And so, yeah, my big advice would be, hey, do you love God?

1205
00:58:27.613 --> 00:58:28.296
Yeah.

1206
00:58:28.517 --> 00:58:29.240
Because if you love God,

1207
00:58:29.300 --> 00:58:30.385
Jesus says, if you love me, you'll obey me.

1208
00:58:30.425 --> 00:58:30.767
That's right.

1209
00:58:30.948 --> 00:58:31.792
Are you obeying God?

1210
00:58:31.933 --> 00:58:32.897
And obeying

1211
00:58:33.480 --> 00:58:34.584
God is in your best interest.

1212
00:58:35.026 --> 00:58:38.418
If you live by God's ways, you'll be in God's will.

1213
00:58:38.619 --> 00:58:38.900
Right on.

1214
00:58:39.022 --> 00:58:40.200
So many of us want the will of God.

1215
00:58:40.280 --> 00:58:41.340
We think it's a fork in the road moment.

1216
00:58:41.440 --> 00:58:41.640
No, no, no.

1217
00:58:41.640 --> 00:58:43.060
The will of God is in the ways of God.

1218
00:58:43.461 --> 00:58:45.240
The ways of God is in obeying Jesus.

1219
00:58:45.520 --> 00:58:48.340
You'll always be in the will of God if you're living by his ways.

1220
00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:49.080
Seek first the kingdom.

1221
00:58:49.222 --> 00:58:50.200
Seek first the kingdom of God.

1222
00:58:50.640 --> 00:58:56.920
And if you want to know his ways, you've got to get in his word and discover what his word is, to know what his ways are, to be in his will.

1223
00:58:57.261 --> 00:59:01.360
And then from that, you say, okay, well, Lord, what would you have me do in this season?

1224
00:59:01.582 --> 00:59:02.220
How can I navigate?

1225
00:59:02.803 --> 00:59:03.200
What is this?

1226
00:59:04.045 --> 00:59:04.740
I have these gifts.

1227
00:59:04.881 --> 00:59:10.320
Do I need to go out and use them now or do I need to just be faithful and just be an intern somewhere for a season?

1228
00:59:10.820 --> 00:59:12.340
And so that would be my, do you love God?

1229
00:59:12.641 --> 00:59:13.880
Are you called according to his purpose?

1230
00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:23.300
And if you can answer yes to those two things, I think you start seeing that, hey, that which the enemy meant for evil in your life, God is going to use it for good.

1231
00:59:23.400 --> 00:59:24.940
And I wouldn't, just like you, I wouldn't change a thing.

1232
00:59:25.020 --> 00:59:28.900
Because all of those things and many of those scars I still have.

1233
00:59:29.000 --> 00:59:32.480
I still have to constantly be intentional with my eyes and my thoughts.

1234
00:59:32.702 --> 00:59:34.800
I still have to constantly be hypervigilant, right?

1235
00:59:35.823 --> 00:59:37.860
But I can share those scars with people.

1236
00:59:38.581 --> 00:59:48.800
You can share the scars with people, but those, his redemptive power is so great that those struggles, even in the joy, I think it was Tozer.

1237
00:59:48.980 --> 00:59:49.860
I may be off.

1238
00:59:49.960 --> 00:59:50.860
Maybe you can correct me.

1239
00:59:51.020 --> 00:59:59.820
Tozer, Spurgeon, not sure who said this, but he was lamenting the fact that he's still battling with residual sin.

1240
01:00:01.605 --> 01:00:04.414
and it dawned on him that this was his old life.

1241
01:00:04.875 --> 01:00:06.460
He was reminded, wait a minute,

1242
01:00:08.083 --> 01:00:10.030
I used to plan on doing those things.

1243
01:00:11.053 --> 01:00:12.960
Now I don't plan on doing those things, but

1244
01:00:13.501 --> 01:00:14.865
those thoughts pop into my mind.

1245
01:00:15.025 --> 01:00:16.168
I hate those things.

1246
01:00:17.331 --> 01:00:20.900
And he writes, I think it was Tozer

1247
01:00:21.641 --> 01:00:27.454
who said that the voice of the enemy said to him, listen to you.

1248
01:00:28.898 --> 01:00:29.820
Why would God want you?

1249
01:00:31.724 --> 01:00:33.528
And his response was, wait a minute.

1250
01:00:34.510 --> 01:00:37.958
Everything that I learned from you, I now hate.

1251
01:00:37.978 --> 01:00:38.318
Everything

1252
01:00:39.140 --> 01:00:45.352
that you taught me about my flesh that I did, I hate.

1253
01:00:46.594 --> 01:00:49.740
And the very argument with himself and with

1254
01:00:49.820 --> 01:00:54.410
the old life was the comforting proof of the new life.

1255
01:00:55.793 --> 01:00:59.060
Because a dead man, a dead man doesn't

1256
01:00:59.160 --> 01:00:59.621
struggle.

1257
01:01:00.744 --> 01:01:02.208
A living man struggles.

1258
01:01:02.990 --> 01:01:04.033
You got to be alive.

1259
01:01:04.053 --> 01:01:06.760
And so a lot of people just count themselves

1260
01:01:07.041 --> 01:01:09.210
out because they think, well, I'm not saintly enough.

1261
01:01:10.475 --> 01:01:11.238
Well, you know what?

1262
01:01:11.278 --> 01:01:11.760
You're never going

1263
01:01:11.760 --> 01:01:12.984
to be saintly enough.

1264
01:01:13.024 --> 01:01:15.312
That can only be done by the blood of Christ.

1265
01:01:16.215 --> 01:01:17.018
And I believe this.

1266
01:01:17.219 --> 01:01:17.540
I believe

1267
01:01:17.620 --> 01:01:24.060
when you read the book of James and when you read the book of Romans, I believe that they fit like

1268
01:01:24.140 --> 01:01:32.255
a glove because Romans is the sanctification that is positional in the blood.

1269
01:01:33.237 --> 01:01:35.000
James is the practical

1270
01:01:35.482 --> 01:01:38.211
living out sanctification before you and I.

1271
01:01:38.933 --> 01:01:41.040
But you can't live it out before you and I unless

1272
01:01:41.160 --> 01:01:42.545
it's first positionally.

1273
01:01:42.746 --> 01:01:47.200
And that positionally happens in a moment's time when we come to Christ,

1274
01:01:47.280 --> 01:01:57.180
When we have that born again experience, when we realize Christ died on the cross for me, my biggest thing, Ruslan, was that I believe that Jesus died for you because he loves you.

1275
01:01:58.763 --> 01:02:00.679
But I don't see how he could love me.

1276
01:02:01.941 --> 01:02:08.160
And that's where my big struggle was when I first came to Christ was there was the joy of salvation instantly.

1277
01:02:08.340 --> 01:02:23.820
And then I began to realize, wait a minute, all that horrible past life that I've lived, it became so intensified against the blood that I focused on my sin, my past sin and failure.

1278
01:02:24.282 --> 01:02:25.360
How could he really love me?

1279
01:02:25.960 --> 01:02:32.240
And so you pointed to the word and you acknowledged the word being the answer.

1280
01:02:33.062 --> 01:02:36.298
That was the only thing that got me out of that pit.

1281
01:02:37.063 --> 01:02:39.740
Before I heard the gospel, I was fine sinning.

1282
01:02:41.501 --> 01:02:46.020
When I heard it, there was that immediate joy of hearing that news.

1283
01:02:46.660 --> 01:02:48.320
And then the battle began.

1284
01:02:48.540 --> 01:02:53.680
Little did I know, and it only comes from discipleship, that that battle is the sign of life.

1285
01:02:54.323 --> 01:02:54.820
That's good.

1286
01:02:55.060 --> 01:02:56.060
And so, yeah.

1287
01:02:57.284 --> 01:02:58.400
Love what God is doing with you.

1288
01:02:58.887 --> 01:02:59.380
What's next?

1289
01:02:59.542 --> 01:03:00.020
What's happening?

1290
01:03:00.625 --> 01:03:00.733
Yeah.

1291
01:03:01.020 --> 01:03:02.380
Well, the book, Godly Ambition.

1292
01:03:02.500 --> 01:03:02.820
Godly Ambition.

1293
01:03:02.943 --> 01:03:03.460
Talk about it.

1294
01:03:03.500 --> 01:03:04.680
Yes, we got to plug the book.

1295
01:03:04.720 --> 01:03:06.660
Yeah, USA Today bestseller, which is incredible.

1296
01:03:07.040 --> 01:03:07.460
Fantastic, that's right.

1297
01:03:08.141 --> 01:03:11.460
We did a bunch of theater events and then some church events.

1298
01:03:11.740 --> 01:03:13.060
And so I'm going to be going back out.

1299
01:03:13.100 --> 01:03:18.077
I'll be in Houston on, I think, October 24th.

1300
01:03:19.020 --> 01:03:20.053
And in Dallas, October 25th.

1301
01:03:20.681 --> 01:03:23.298
I'm doing the Liberty Convocation again, October 27th.

1302
01:03:24.063 --> 01:03:24.620
Super excited.

1303
01:03:25.242 --> 01:03:26.920
So I'll be going out in the fall, doing some live events.

1304
01:03:27.000 --> 01:03:34.240
I do a theater show, doing a keynote from the book, selling some stories, and then doing some music, and then a live podcast Q&A.

1305
01:03:34.340 --> 01:03:36.920
Yeah, so Godly Ambition, I think it's on sale now on Amazon.

1306
01:03:37.100 --> 01:03:46.960
And it's really trying to take this side of faith and say, okay, now how do we develop a framework to make the most of our time, talent, and treasure?

1307
01:03:47.203 --> 01:03:47.558
I love it.

1308
01:03:47.680 --> 01:03:47.780
Yep.

1309
01:03:48.324 --> 01:03:48.639
I love it.

1310
01:03:49.262 --> 01:03:51.020
Where can people follow you at and find out?

1311
01:03:51.140 --> 01:03:52.760
Yeah, just Ruslan KD on all platforms.

1312
01:03:53.120 --> 01:03:56.500
The book is on Amazon, or they can go to blessgod.co.

1313
01:03:56.861 --> 01:03:59.880
That's our website for our shop and all of our different stuff that we have on there.

1314
01:03:59.943 --> 01:04:00.237
I love it.

1315
01:04:00.380 --> 01:04:00.480
Yep.

1316
01:04:00.842 --> 01:04:01.340
I love you, brother.

1317
01:04:01.420 --> 01:04:02.640
Hey, thank you so much, Pastor Jack.

1318
01:04:02.760 --> 01:04:03.120
This was great.

1319
01:04:03.120 --> 01:04:03.220
Thank you.

1320
01:04:03.481 --> 01:04:03.780
Love it.

1321
01:04:04.300 --> 01:04:07.771
Thank you.