WEBVTT

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Dating is already complicated.

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Now add multiple connections, honesty, boundaries, and a whole lot of communication.

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Welcome to Triple Hearts.

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Today we're talking about what it's really like to date while poly, beyond the myths, the judgment, and the assumptions.

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Whether you're curious, experienced, or just here to learn, this conversation is about understanding people, respecting choices, and redefining what healthy relationships could look like.

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Multiple loves, one conversation is triple hearts.

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Ooh, yeah.

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Triple hearts.

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Ooh.

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Let's talk about this podcast.

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Welcome to triple hearts.

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I am Coco and I am your girl Lala.

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Hey, hey.

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Okay.

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So dating while Polly.

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So I actually did a little dive and got some recent information about what's going on in the land of Polly.

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Okay.

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So recent discussions on dating while polyamorous highlight both cultural and

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growing pains, and fresh psychological insights.

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Public figures like Singer and Neo share that they have faced professional fallout after opening up about polyamory, while new research published mid-2026 emphasizes that open communication curves jealousy

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Though relationship hierarchies often backfire regardless of structure.

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I like Neo.

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I like Neo.

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Let me say that first.

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Neo, we love you.

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I like his music.

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I love his...

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I've always loved his music.

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I mean, I...

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I feel like I'd rather him live in his truth than to go along continuing to drag women.

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I'm sure his two ex-wives went through hell.

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So like, can we just applaud him for finally just being who he is?

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Living in his truth.

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I love that for him.

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For sure.

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I hate that he's getting backlash though.

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I hate that he's getting fallout for it as well.

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I don't know.

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Some people are going to respect it and some aren't.

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And I think time has shown or will continue to show that.

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This is not like some publicity stunt.

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Like, this is literally him living his life.

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And everyone seems to be happy.

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And everyone seems to be fulfilled with the situation they're in.

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I don't know the ins and outs of their relationship, but...

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I don't see why their happiness is such an issue for everyone else.

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That's what I'm saying.

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You're not in it.

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You're not in it.

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And I don't think it matters how many partners you have.

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I think it's the open line of communication that you have.

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We're going to ring that.

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We're going to ring a bell.

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We're going to get us a bell, y'all, and just be ringing that joint when we just, you know, we're going to find something.

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Get us a little.

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Yeah.

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Or a little glass.

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You know how they be tapping it.

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Mm-hmm.

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But speaking of hierarchy, I feel like that is something that is such a stigma about hierarchy in poly relationships.

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And there's a lot of people who feel weird or feel uncomfortable stepping into an established situation just because of their fear of hierarchy.

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And, you know, not wanting to be put second or anything like that.

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Yeah.

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For example, I do have a story.

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Oh, I love story.

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Story time.

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Yes.

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So my partner and I, the first time we decided to date or try to bring an additional person into our situation, her biggest fear was, you know, there being a hierarchy.

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And I feel like she kind of, like, was obsessed with it.

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However, we went on two dates, and it seemed like the next day she kind of felt like we were all in a relationship.

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Now, I'm like, can we slow down?

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Can we get to know one another?

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What's your favorite color?

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Okay.

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Where you grow up?

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Where you from?

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What's your last name?

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What's your mama maiden name?

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Like, what?

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And I feel like she had a lot of hostility because she just knew that I had a hierarchy.

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But, you know, that goes back to creating a false narrative within yourself.

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Like, you created this...

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negative thing when really we're just really trying to get to know you we don't know you that well so i like to say that there's a hierarchy until there isn't right of course we have an established situation but once we get to know you and get a feel for you and have a connection amongst the three of us that hierarchy would no longer exist but let us get there

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You know what I mean?

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Stop trying to create something because you have this fear in the back of your mind that that's how you're going to be treated.

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You're creating something that isn't there.

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Right.

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So you're creating the narrative.

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You're creating a negative narrative.

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Super negative.

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I don't know if I'd be nervous.

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I mean, I'd be...

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nervous or not to come into something i think for me if it's established and it's solid and you guys are not yes yeah and it's not like you're bringing me in there as like to fix y'all yeah or molly the maid right

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And like, I think that I can deal with that.

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Yeah.

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I think I'd be able to deal with something like that as opposed to coming in and it's established, but it's Rocky and a mother flipper.

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You know what I mean?

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So I think that that's when I would probably kind of like question stuff.

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And you would want something solid.

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Or I mean, some people are on, you know, they're like, hey, I want to be able for all of us to date.

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But it's like, well, damn, you don't know nobody.

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Yeah.

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So now you're getting to know two people at once, which is absolutely okay.

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You know what I mean?

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Yeah.

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It's different, but if that's the lifestyle that you are saying that you want to try, and maybe you tried it and maybe it's not working or it doesn't work for you, or that if you're so adamant about trying that, you do kind of have to be realistic about your expectations.

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You wouldn't be in a relationship after two days in a monogamous relationship.

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Right.

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So why is that your expectation for our relationship?

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Mm-hmm.

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Like, we have to have some realistic expectations.

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You have to have some koof.

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And just don't be weird.

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Don't make it weird.

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Yeah.

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How can I stand weird-ass energy?

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Girl, me either.

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I hate some awkward shit.

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I do.

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I feel like poly creates communication problems.

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I feel like it just, it exposes...

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The problems that were already there.

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Absolutely.

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Yeah.

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And, again, as you're getting to know someone, which is while you typically go on dates, like we didn't just bring you in the house and say, hey, you're moving in tomorrow.

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Right.

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You know what I mean?

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And don't want to move in tomorrow.

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Don't try to move in tomorrow.

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Because they will.

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I mean, you just, it's just so weird.

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And you have those ones who like, oh, I hit a lick.

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For sure.

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Oh, it's two of them.

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And so for that, I'm like, is it genuine at that point?

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You know what I mean?

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I have to start looking at you a little sideways and question some things because, like, what is it that you're trying to do here?

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What is your intent?

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What is your goal?

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You know what I mean?

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So I don't think people should get so fixated on whether there's a hierarchy or not.

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Like, get to know the people that you're dating and

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If it's been a couple of years and you still feel like you're less than or you're, you know, not putting the same level of respect or value as the people that are already established there, then you have a problem.

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But give it time.

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Yeah, I agree.

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Give them a chance.

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Good things take time.

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Everything just can't be, like, rushed.

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You know what I mean?

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And I feel like we live in a microwaved society where everybody just wants something so fast.

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Like...

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Even the damn adults, right?

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I mean, you know the kids want it fast because everything is just like fast-paced moving for them.

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No, no, no.

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Right.

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I don't want to wait.

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I don't want to wait.

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At all, okay?

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My kid asked me today a thousand times, y'all.

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We were driving an hour away, and this man had to ask me 16 times, are we there yet?

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Are we there yet?

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Are we there yet?

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Sir, I'm about to glue your lips shut.

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Like, no, we are not.

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Okay.

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You think I want to be in this car for now?

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I know.

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And I definitely don't want to hear, are we there yet?

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Let me turn this radio on, girl.

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It's like a vibe.

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Because, Lord.

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Let's, let's, let's.

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Yeah.

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But I feel like adults are like that, too.

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They want everything very, very fast-paced.

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And, you know, if I'm being completely honest, I think that that's the reason why, to a certain degree, like, I kind of, like, stepped back from women because I felt like as much as I love women, and I will listen, listen, I love me some women, okay?

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And women, women.

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Like women that look like you.

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Feminine women.

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Yes.

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Those women.

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And I don't know.

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I just, yeah.

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And maybe that's the thing I'm not used to.

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I think men aren't really like that.

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And, you know, my experience with dating women is pretty new.

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And so I hadn't experienced someone wanting to jump into a relationship.

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No, women are like that, honey.

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They want to get married tomorrow.

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I'm like... And they want to have kids tomorrow.

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What is the hell?

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And everything is tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

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And it's like... And then when it does not work out... Now you're wrong.

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Yes.

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Now you're the bad guy.

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You are... Honey, we were dating for 30 days and you said you wanted to get married and run off into the sunset.

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Like...

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It's getting weird.

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Okay.

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How do you know I even like sunsets?

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You don't even know me.

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Yeah, right?

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Yeah.

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Shit.

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Listen, I might want to go to the moon and you trying to take me to Mars.

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Okay.

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You know, I don't.

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Yeah.

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So, I mean, I see everything.

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And it's no offense towards my ladies because I love y'all.

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Right.

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There's no offense.

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And you know, I love you too.

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But we got to have some realistic, you know, expectations and live in reality a little bit.

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I agree.

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These fantasy worlds, I don't know what's going on.

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And it's honestly given me a true insight on what men kind of deal with.

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Kind of deal with.

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And I feel sorry for y'all.

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I really do.

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That's why I am the way I am, though.

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Clearly, I'm just going to be honest and we're just going to have those conversations and those tough conversations and just be me because I feel like that's super important.

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And I feel like they don't have enough of women like us.

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Yeah, for sure.

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A, going to pour into them, but also be honest with them.

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Right.

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And not be beaten around the bush.

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And then another thing, we're going to come back to this like later on when you have a good episode as it relates to I think that certain women just like they like being lied to as much as they say they don't.

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But we can come back to that.

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You can't handle the truth.

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Yeah.

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That.

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That right there.

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That.

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Yes.

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And it's like, well, you could have told me the truth.

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And then now she's throwing and breaking and all the things.

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And it's not to say that you can't get angry or whatever the case may be.

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But, like, you got to place yourself in an out-of-body experience and go, this person told me the truth.

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Like, he could have looked at me and lied.

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She could have looked at me and lied.

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She cared about me enough to tell the truth.

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Tell the truth.

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Regardless of the outcome.

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You have to respect it.

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Can't do nothing but respect it.

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No, I don't like the dark.

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Yeah, no, I know.

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Even if it hurts, I would rather know the truth.

250
00:11:27.222 --> 00:11:28.123
Let me process it.

251
00:11:28.143 --> 00:11:29.144
I might have a day or two.

252
00:11:29.184 --> 00:11:30.125
I might even cry.

253
00:11:30.165 --> 00:11:30.806
Whatever it is.

254
00:11:31.006 --> 00:11:32.628
You know, I'm emotional.

255
00:11:32.748 --> 00:11:33.289
I do cry.

256
00:11:33.329 --> 00:11:33.549
But...

257
00:11:34.530 --> 00:11:36.252
Like, I would prefer that.

258
00:11:36.652 --> 00:11:36.892
Yeah.

259
00:11:37.193 --> 00:11:37.613
Same.

260
00:11:37.953 --> 00:11:38.974
I don't like the blind side.

261
00:11:39.014 --> 00:11:40.075
I don't like, mm-mm.

262
00:11:40.616 --> 00:11:40.996
No, I get it.

263
00:11:41.016 --> 00:11:41.817
That shit rubs me wrong.

264
00:11:41.837 --> 00:11:43.958
Yeah.

265
00:11:43.979 --> 00:11:44.819
Rubs her wrong, guys.

266
00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:45.800
Rubs me wrong.

267
00:11:46.140 --> 00:11:46.421
Okay.

268
00:11:46.841 --> 00:11:47.241
I get it.

269
00:11:47.382 --> 00:11:48.082
Don't like it.

270
00:11:48.142 --> 00:11:48.983
I overstand it.

271
00:11:49.023 --> 00:11:49.884
I overstand it.

272
00:11:50.284 --> 00:11:51.385
Multi-dating.

273
00:11:51.505 --> 00:11:51.785
Mm-hmm.

274
00:11:51.805 --> 00:11:52.026
Mm-hmm.

275
00:11:54.527 --> 00:11:55.527
About that multi dating.

276
00:11:56.087 --> 00:11:56.767
Yeah.

277
00:11:57.728 --> 00:12:01.509
I guess, you know, that's a part of being poly for some people.

278
00:12:01.529 --> 00:12:02.249
I agree.

279
00:12:03.129 --> 00:12:11.211
You kind of have to divvy up your schedule and make time for everyone involved.

280
00:12:12.132 --> 00:12:12.552
I agree.

281
00:12:13.092 --> 00:12:19.454
I think dating while poly, I don't think that, because people are like, oh, maybe it's easier.

282
00:12:19.474 --> 00:12:20.274
And I'm like, no.

283
00:12:21.190 --> 00:12:22.551
I don't think it's easier.

284
00:12:22.571 --> 00:12:25.893
I think it requires much from you.

285
00:12:26.654 --> 00:12:35.500
And I think that dating multiple people is, they say that you have to be intentional when you're in a monogamous relationship.

286
00:12:35.520 --> 00:12:38.642
I think you got to be intentional when you are polyamorous too.

287
00:12:38.942 --> 00:12:39.423
Absolutely.

288
00:12:39.763 --> 00:12:42.305
Because you got to know like what's what.

289
00:12:42.325 --> 00:12:43.405
You got to know what you want.

290
00:12:43.525 --> 00:12:45.347
You got to know your fuck nose.

291
00:12:46.287 --> 00:12:47.228
Shout out to Coco for that.

292
00:12:47.772 --> 00:12:49.874
Okay, pound, hashtag, fuck no.

293
00:12:49.974 --> 00:12:51.515
All right, got it.

294
00:12:51.916 --> 00:12:52.976
You got to know those.

295
00:12:53.377 --> 00:12:54.177
You got to know yourself.

296
00:12:54.578 --> 00:12:55.078
You know what I mean?

297
00:12:55.098 --> 00:12:57.300
You got to know the individuals that you are dealing with.

298
00:12:57.520 --> 00:13:01.884
You got to know if they are confrontational, right?

299
00:13:01.964 --> 00:13:04.065
Because what happens if you go, oh, God.

300
00:13:04.125 --> 00:13:05.567
So why are we talking about story time, y'all?

301
00:13:05.587 --> 00:13:06.848
Now, this is hilarious.

302
00:13:06.948 --> 00:13:09.009
Okay, so we were out one day.

303
00:13:09.029 --> 00:13:09.730
I was out.

304
00:13:09.870 --> 00:13:11.732
Well, I was out with self.

305
00:13:13.053 --> 00:13:15.575
So I was out by myself, but I had went to a bar.

306
00:13:16.847 --> 00:13:22.510
And I had went to this bar and I end up running into one of my partners there.

307
00:13:23.510 --> 00:13:25.351
But the gag was he didn't know that I was there.

308
00:13:25.731 --> 00:13:26.552
Didn't know he was coming.

309
00:13:27.072 --> 00:13:27.912
Didn't know he had a date.

310
00:13:29.473 --> 00:13:34.495
But he came in with his, you know, the young lady that he was with or whatever the case may be.

311
00:13:34.815 --> 00:13:36.696
And, you know, of course we spoke, right?

312
00:13:36.736 --> 00:13:38.857
We're not, we ain't on that type of time.

313
00:13:38.877 --> 00:13:39.838
We're not about to be weird about it.

314
00:13:40.638 --> 00:13:49.604
Um, but I was, I was going to speak and that was it because I didn't know a, the dynamic of you all's relationship because again, I'm a don't ask, don't tell.

315
00:13:50.024 --> 00:13:50.285
Right.

316
00:13:50.745 --> 00:13:54.207
So I don't ask him things that I don't want to know the answer to.

317
00:13:55.148 --> 00:13:56.909
Um, but this gave me a clear answer.

318
00:13:56.929 --> 00:13:58.490
Okay.

319
00:13:58.750 --> 00:14:01.232
When I see him and the answer walking through the door.

320
00:14:01.492 --> 00:14:01.872
Right.

321
00:14:02.052 --> 00:14:06.876
So, um, they came in and they were about to, you know, get seated for dinner and stuff like that or whatever case may be.

322
00:14:06.896 --> 00:14:08.417
But he walked up to me and he gave me a hug.

323
00:14:09.468 --> 00:14:17.635
And I think that made me more attracted to him because it wasn't like, oh, I'm about to be shady towards her.

324
00:14:17.675 --> 00:14:18.756
I'm about to throw her shade.

325
00:14:18.816 --> 00:14:19.717
Oh, yeah.

326
00:14:19.857 --> 00:14:20.577
Yeah, no.

327
00:14:20.657 --> 00:14:24.420
It was very adult, like grown man energy.

328
00:14:24.440 --> 00:14:25.682
I love that.

329
00:14:25.702 --> 00:14:26.442
Be solid.

330
00:14:26.582 --> 00:14:27.083
Yes.

331
00:14:27.223 --> 00:14:28.524
And he's a solid individual.

332
00:14:28.544 --> 00:14:31.106
He's so grounded and so real.

333
00:14:31.166 --> 00:14:32.107
What was her response?

334
00:14:32.127 --> 00:14:32.367
Oh.

335
00:14:32.683 --> 00:14:35.804
Her response was to keep on walking her ass right up them steps.

336
00:14:36.105 --> 00:14:36.425
Okay.

337
00:14:37.185 --> 00:14:38.726
And she didn't, you know, she probably did.

338
00:14:38.746 --> 00:14:42.968
I know, I think they had a conversation when they got upstairs or whatever, probably perhaps about who I was or whatever the case might be.

339
00:14:42.988 --> 00:14:45.289
Because I was just a friend, you know, which is true.

340
00:14:45.309 --> 00:14:45.809
Which is true.

341
00:14:46.109 --> 00:14:46.549
Yes.

342
00:14:46.989 --> 00:14:50.251
So, I mean, it's not like you lied in any type of way or whatever the case may be.

343
00:14:50.271 --> 00:14:52.892
I just thought that it was pretty, it was pretty...

344
00:14:54.070 --> 00:14:57.032
weird that we happen to be in the same place at the same time.

345
00:14:57.053 --> 00:15:02.557
Of all places that are in D.C., we just happen to be in the same place at the same time.

346
00:15:03.418 --> 00:15:05.860
But I respected him a whole lot.

347
00:15:06.650 --> 00:15:10.813
at the fact that he came over and gave me a hug and then went up, you know, and did continue.

348
00:15:10.853 --> 00:15:12.554
And of course continued on about his night.

349
00:15:12.654 --> 00:15:13.175
Yeah.

350
00:15:13.875 --> 00:15:15.036
Um, it didn't expect you to.

351
00:15:15.817 --> 00:15:17.718
Yeah, it wasn't exactly.

352
00:15:18.098 --> 00:15:19.039
He ain't do none of that.

353
00:15:19.219 --> 00:15:21.400
It wasn't no shade throwing, no show, no nothing.

354
00:15:21.501 --> 00:15:23.382
It wasn't like he walked right to me.

355
00:15:23.542 --> 00:15:25.343
And I was like, Oh, cause I was kind of shocked.

356
00:15:25.363 --> 00:15:28.806
Cause I was like, I didn't have my arms out for a hug or whatever case may be, but I ended up hugging him back.

357
00:15:28.826 --> 00:15:29.806
Cause I want to embrace you.

358
00:15:30.267 --> 00:15:30.547
Right.

359
00:15:30.587 --> 00:15:31.928
But it's like, what's about to happen?

360
00:15:32.248 --> 00:15:32.689
Yes.

361
00:15:33.029 --> 00:15:33.309
Yeah.

362
00:15:33.329 --> 00:15:36.613
Because I don't want you to grab my arms and then this wench starts swinging or something.

363
00:15:36.633 --> 00:15:37.935
Like, I ain't got time for that neither.

364
00:15:38.015 --> 00:15:39.236
You know what I mean?

365
00:15:39.256 --> 00:15:42.179
Because some women are very, very... Territorial.

366
00:15:42.340 --> 00:15:42.780
Yes.

367
00:15:44.022 --> 00:15:44.562
Yeah.

368
00:15:44.642 --> 00:15:46.384
And they always talk about men being territorial.

369
00:15:46.404 --> 00:15:47.405
But women can be territorial.

370
00:15:47.506 --> 00:15:48.206
Absolutely.

371
00:15:48.286 --> 00:15:50.369
I feel like women are more so than men, actually.

372
00:15:50.589 --> 00:15:51.090
Mm-hmm.

373
00:15:51.490 --> 00:15:51.890
For sure.

374
00:15:51.930 --> 00:15:58.393
I mean, you have those outliers that are like, you know, a little crazy and, you know, threaten lives and take lives.

375
00:15:58.413 --> 00:16:00.034
You know, that happens.

376
00:16:00.054 --> 00:16:00.714
For sure.

377
00:16:00.734 --> 00:16:02.235
There's a high percentage of it happening.

378
00:16:02.735 --> 00:16:04.376
However, women...

379
00:16:06.877 --> 00:16:08.038
kind of get away with it.

380
00:16:08.578 --> 00:16:09.980
So you don't see it as much.

381
00:16:10.160 --> 00:16:12.362
And they might not escalate to killing something.

382
00:16:12.382 --> 00:16:13.482
That doesn't happen.

383
00:16:13.663 --> 00:16:14.363
Yeah, because it does.

384
00:16:14.423 --> 00:16:15.184
It definitely happens.

385
00:16:15.244 --> 00:16:15.724
For sure.

386
00:16:16.045 --> 00:16:17.426
But, you know, they break some shit.

387
00:16:17.486 --> 00:16:18.567
They test shit up.

388
00:16:18.927 --> 00:16:22.590
And they might even just go cry in a corner because they thought that man belonged to them.

389
00:16:23.150 --> 00:16:23.471
You know?

390
00:16:23.651 --> 00:16:25.693
But women are definitely...

391
00:16:26.393 --> 00:16:28.154
thought that man belonged to them.

392
00:16:28.354 --> 00:16:32.117
You know, it's crazy to me because I think we got to take like the ownership out of it.

393
00:16:32.257 --> 00:16:32.958
Absolutely.

394
00:16:32.978 --> 00:16:34.819
You don't own people.

395
00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:35.660
You don't.

396
00:16:36.420 --> 00:16:46.767
And once I think that once people realize that I think they'll have a better understanding of why it is okay to do whatever it is that's conducive for your lifestyle.

397
00:16:46.968 --> 00:16:47.248
Yeah.

398
00:16:47.288 --> 00:16:47.468
Right?

399
00:16:47.488 --> 00:16:53.792
So if you want to date multiple people, if you want to be monogamous, if you just want to have friends with benefits for the rest of your life, you should be able to do so.

400
00:16:53.812 --> 00:16:54.353
Mm-hmm.

401
00:16:55.264 --> 00:16:58.449
But I think that we have to take out the ownership piece.

402
00:16:58.710 --> 00:16:58.970
Yeah.

403
00:16:58.990 --> 00:16:59.911
Like, I don't own you.

404
00:17:00.011 --> 00:17:00.773
You don't own me.

405
00:17:00.793 --> 00:17:06.521
And I always used to say it in a more raw and uncut way.

406
00:17:06.561 --> 00:17:09.285
And I think the raw and uncutness comes from...

407
00:17:10.988 --> 00:17:11.748
You don't owe me shit.

408
00:17:11.768 --> 00:17:12.609
I don't owe you shit.

409
00:17:12.849 --> 00:17:14.069
And that's just what it is.

410
00:17:14.089 --> 00:17:15.890
Like, we are experiencing each other.

411
00:17:15.910 --> 00:17:16.170
Right.

412
00:17:16.330 --> 00:17:21.691
And I think that once we realize that we are experiencing, we are on our own separate journey.

413
00:17:22.112 --> 00:17:24.332
And then we experience each other along the way.

414
00:17:24.752 --> 00:17:29.634
And whatever that may look like, whether it be short term or long term, I just think that.

415
00:17:31.299 --> 00:17:35.103
I mean, that's just that we have to take the ownership piece out of it because I think that that's the other part.

416
00:17:35.123 --> 00:17:39.468
And I think that that's the reason why I am the way that I am because I don't want to feel like a caged bird.

417
00:17:40.309 --> 00:17:48.137
And I think that for a while in relationships, I was like, not that I was caged, but I was like, I wasn't as free as I am now.

418
00:17:48.657 --> 00:17:50.519
And I wasn't as open as I am now.

419
00:17:50.980 --> 00:17:52.061
And I was kind of like.

420
00:17:52.770 --> 00:17:54.611
Oh, I do want to do this, but I don't want to hurt you.

421
00:17:55.011 --> 00:17:56.032
Or I don't want to do this.

422
00:17:56.092 --> 00:17:59.514
But it's like, all in all, you end up hurting yourself, to be quite honest.

423
00:18:00.014 --> 00:18:04.177
Because, you know, you got to, it's no reason that I should have to shrink myself to accommodate you.

424
00:18:05.277 --> 00:18:05.518
Right?

425
00:18:05.538 --> 00:18:07.719
So now it's like a big fuck no.

426
00:18:08.377 --> 00:18:08.717
Yeah.

427
00:18:08.818 --> 00:18:09.038
Yeah.

428
00:18:09.238 --> 00:18:11.200
I definitely understand the cage thing.

429
00:18:11.701 --> 00:18:12.482
I don't like it.

430
00:18:12.902 --> 00:18:16.947
I used to always use the terms cage bird.

431
00:18:17.568 --> 00:18:17.988
Literally.

432
00:18:18.008 --> 00:18:21.512
Because I was in a monogamous relationship from 16 to 23.

433
00:18:25.717 --> 00:18:26.997
Christ.

434
00:18:27.498 --> 00:18:28.138
Never cheated.

435
00:18:29.038 --> 00:18:30.638
Never stepped out of my relationship.

436
00:18:30.719 --> 00:18:31.579
Never, you know.

437
00:18:32.539 --> 00:18:38.401
And I had those moments going through college where I was like, you know, the girls are meeting new guys.

438
00:18:38.481 --> 00:18:40.541
And all my friends are like dating.

439
00:18:40.641 --> 00:18:44.502
And I mean, none of it turned out to be anything I actually wanted in my life.

440
00:18:44.522 --> 00:18:45.883
Because, I mean, let's be real.

441
00:18:45.923 --> 00:18:49.604
Those young relationships, you kind of go through it in, you know, young relationships or whatever.

442
00:18:49.644 --> 00:18:49.824
But.

443
00:18:50.128 --> 00:19:09.501
poppy laugh right yeah but uh me feeling like i didn't have the ability to explore or to meet people you know he was very insecure um i didn't even want to go to the college i went to i went there because that's where he wanted me to go wait what yeah

444
00:19:11.109 --> 00:19:11.850
Really?

445
00:19:12.390 --> 00:19:13.131
I wanted to go away.

446
00:19:13.151 --> 00:19:15.712
I wanted to go to Bethune-Cookman.

447
00:19:15.852 --> 00:19:20.756
But my boyfriend at that time had friends at Eastern Shore.

448
00:19:21.456 --> 00:19:23.558
And he had planned on coming to Eastern Shore.

449
00:19:23.658 --> 00:19:26.600
So it just made sense for him to be able to keep an eye on you.

450
00:19:26.620 --> 00:19:27.520
Keep eyes on you.

451
00:19:27.540 --> 00:19:27.640
Yeah.

452
00:19:28.221 --> 00:19:28.761
Yeah.

453
00:19:29.381 --> 00:19:30.342
And I just went along with it.

454
00:19:30.562 --> 00:19:34.865
I mean, we had been together already like three, four years before even going to college.

455
00:19:35.606 --> 00:19:37.547
So it was just like, you know.

456
00:19:38.762 --> 00:19:39.323
I was all in.

457
00:19:39.763 --> 00:19:40.204
Wow.

458
00:19:40.564 --> 00:19:40.804
Yeah.

459
00:19:41.045 --> 00:19:41.425
You know what?

460
00:19:41.445 --> 00:19:44.188
I think we have done some crazy stuff for some dick.

461
00:19:44.609 --> 00:19:44.909
Okay?

462
00:19:45.850 --> 00:19:51.717
I'm going to be honest, honey, because I swear I can say this now because I've been all high school for many moons.

463
00:19:51.737 --> 00:19:55.741
But, y'all, I didn't enlist it into the military because I didn't start to hunching my recruiter.

464
00:19:55.762 --> 00:19:55.882
Yeah.

465
00:19:57.510 --> 00:20:01.332
Listen, when I say that man could have talked me into anything.

466
00:20:01.392 --> 00:20:02.293
Young women.

467
00:20:02.333 --> 00:20:02.993
Young women.

468
00:20:03.073 --> 00:20:04.874
Okay, please.

469
00:20:05.514 --> 00:20:07.435
Please do the things that you want to do with your life.

470
00:20:07.455 --> 00:20:08.556
Do what you want to do.

471
00:20:08.676 --> 00:20:09.356
Please.

472
00:20:09.456 --> 00:20:10.817
Don't allow a man to dictate that.

473
00:20:10.877 --> 00:20:11.337
Seriously.

474
00:20:11.357 --> 00:20:12.598
Because I promise you.

475
00:20:12.718 --> 00:20:14.539
I mean, I'm talking about, I didn't even know what I was signing.

476
00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:15.980
I was just like, oh, you got to take a what?

477
00:20:16.080 --> 00:20:16.981
Yeah, ass vab.

478
00:20:17.021 --> 00:20:17.501
No problem.

479
00:20:17.521 --> 00:20:18.001
Sign me up.

480
00:20:18.361 --> 00:20:19.102
Okay, cool.

481
00:20:20.129 --> 00:20:25.592
Then to just find out that I was pregnant with my daughter, going through like MEPS.

482
00:20:25.652 --> 00:20:27.973
And I was like, oh my, this is interesting.

483
00:20:28.113 --> 00:20:31.895
You know, meanwhile, I'm enlisting because I want this guy.

484
00:20:32.835 --> 00:20:34.076
But now I'm pregnant.

485
00:20:34.116 --> 00:20:37.758
Meanwhile, they probably would have shipped your ass to Timbuktu and you wouldn't even have a nigga.

486
00:20:38.758 --> 00:20:41.180
Would have never saw him a day in life.

487
00:20:41.220 --> 00:20:43.823
Would have been in there cursing his ass out from here to Jablip.

488
00:20:43.903 --> 00:20:44.263
Okay.

489
00:20:44.823 --> 00:20:47.906
Nonetheless, needless to say, we definitely, definitely do some crazy shit.

490
00:20:48.026 --> 00:20:48.407
Yes.

491
00:20:48.567 --> 00:20:48.927
Yeah.

492
00:20:49.047 --> 00:20:51.649
Especially when you're young and then you're in love.

493
00:20:51.689 --> 00:20:54.652
Like, I don't know what the hell that man had put on me.

494
00:20:54.672 --> 00:20:55.352
I mean, think about it.

495
00:20:55.372 --> 00:20:56.794
I'm like fucking 18 years old.

496
00:20:56.914 --> 00:20:58.035
You know what I'm saying?

497
00:20:58.055 --> 00:20:59.696
So I'm like, I don't know what.

498
00:20:59.716 --> 00:21:01.438
I literally had just come off the porch.

499
00:21:01.898 --> 00:21:03.719
So, you know, the world is your oyster.

500
00:21:04.039 --> 00:21:04.239
Yep.

501
00:21:04.439 --> 00:21:09.562
But you get fixated on this one thing and not even seeing the bigger picture of what your possibilities are.

502
00:21:09.982 --> 00:21:10.823
All I saw was him.

503
00:21:11.323 --> 00:21:13.164
And all he kept telling me was, well, I don't want to take your youth.

504
00:21:13.204 --> 00:21:14.325
Well, honey, you didn't took this.

505
00:21:14.925 --> 00:21:17.226
The way you folded me up in that pretzel, baby.

506
00:21:17.266 --> 00:21:19.147
You packing me up and taking me somewhere.

507
00:21:19.187 --> 00:21:19.908
Hello?

508
00:21:20.008 --> 00:21:21.188
Put me in the bag with you.

509
00:21:24.310 --> 00:21:25.431
So, I mean, you know.

510
00:21:25.451 --> 00:21:26.192
I'll go where you go.

511
00:21:26.212 --> 00:21:26.512
Yes.

512
00:21:26.672 --> 00:21:27.192
Okay.

513
00:21:27.413 --> 00:21:28.754
You said you wanted $10, too.

514
00:21:28.794 --> 00:21:31.916
And that was around the time where Hurricane Katrina.

515
00:21:32.196 --> 00:21:32.577
Oh, wow.

516
00:21:32.877 --> 00:21:33.297
Yeah.

517
00:21:33.357 --> 00:21:35.699
So, he had ended up moving here from that.

518
00:21:36.260 --> 00:21:37.661
And I was like, wow, this is amazing.

519
00:21:37.681 --> 00:21:38.822
Like, this is super, super dope.

520
00:21:38.862 --> 00:21:40.563
Then to find out, like, all these things.

521
00:21:40.623 --> 00:21:41.984
Like, here we go.

522
00:21:42.004 --> 00:21:44.246
We were in a positive relationship then, and I didn't even know it.

523
00:21:44.266 --> 00:21:44.446
Okay?

524
00:21:44.466 --> 00:21:47.268
Because he had a whole wife and several kids back at home.

525
00:21:48.469 --> 00:21:49.490
Girl, and I found out.

526
00:21:49.810 --> 00:21:50.451
Let me say, y'all.

527
00:21:50.571 --> 00:21:51.312
Ethical.

528
00:21:52.609 --> 00:22:14.697
ethical I'm just gonna keep taking the options from people it's not okay it's not okay it's not okay so yeah I did I ended up finding out that he had a wife and and the kids and things and I was just like wow this is craziness like it's beyond me but you know like I said we do things when we're younger we know better now but yeah the younger day is crazy

529
00:22:15.987 --> 00:22:17.328
Yeah, for sure.

530
00:22:17.789 --> 00:22:23.533
We've all done things that we might not have necessarily, we definitely not agree to doing now.

531
00:22:23.814 --> 00:22:24.014
Yeah.

532
00:22:24.214 --> 00:22:24.554
I think.

533
00:22:24.634 --> 00:22:25.515
Nor be proud of.

534
00:22:25.695 --> 00:22:26.416
Nor be proud of.

535
00:22:26.436 --> 00:22:35.723
And I also think now we have the emotional awareness and self-awareness to say, yeah, I don't have the capacity for that.

536
00:22:36.644 --> 00:22:37.885
That's not going to work for me.

537
00:22:38.085 --> 00:22:38.306
Yeah.

538
00:22:39.467 --> 00:22:39.947
Yeah, no.

539
00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:44.070
Okay.

540
00:22:44.230 --> 00:22:44.610
All right.

541
00:22:44.730 --> 00:22:45.351
I get it.

542
00:22:45.391 --> 00:22:46.912
Listen, I get it.

543
00:22:46.952 --> 00:22:47.352
Okay.

544
00:22:48.173 --> 00:22:50.795
So I think we touched on this last episode.

545
00:22:50.895 --> 00:22:51.335
Oh, God.

546
00:22:52.276 --> 00:22:52.436
Yes.

547
00:22:52.456 --> 00:22:54.297
What did you touch on?

548
00:22:54.317 --> 00:23:04.324
So since we're talking multi-dating or, you know, dating multiple people, poly life, solo poly.

549
00:23:04.464 --> 00:23:04.945
Please don't.

550
00:23:07.955 --> 00:23:10.899
I mean, look, it's part of my topics.

551
00:23:12.020 --> 00:23:13.342
Just tell me what it is.

552
00:23:13.502 --> 00:23:15.485
Where's our hot seat?

553
00:23:15.765 --> 00:23:19.029
I think that the audience needs to tell us what color our hot seat needs to be.

554
00:23:19.129 --> 00:23:21.993
I think that it should be red or like pink.

555
00:23:22.677 --> 00:23:27.999
See, that's too close to our mood board already.

556
00:23:28.059 --> 00:23:29.839
Maybe we should do green.

557
00:23:30.140 --> 00:23:30.860
Oh, green.

558
00:23:30.920 --> 00:23:31.460
I like green.

559
00:23:33.261 --> 00:23:37.982
So we're going to get to that because the first person that we're going to sit in that seat is a solo poly person.

560
00:23:38.282 --> 00:23:40.163
Because maybe I don't have the understanding of it.

561
00:23:40.303 --> 00:23:46.105
Because as I understand it, I want to understand it better.

562
00:23:46.165 --> 00:23:46.985
Let me just say that.

563
00:23:47.125 --> 00:23:51.627
And I could perhaps be ignorant to it, and I'm not saying this with no malicious intent, but

564
00:23:53.003 --> 00:24:03.448
I feel like unless, like I said, you're solo poly and you're in a relationship where you are poly and maybe perhaps your partner is not.

565
00:24:03.888 --> 00:24:05.089
Like maybe that's how it could work.

566
00:24:05.109 --> 00:24:07.310
Like you're in this solo.

567
00:24:07.910 --> 00:24:17.295
Yes, because your partner is still very much committed to you and you decide, which I think will probably make me feel bad because that goes back to the empath part, y'all.

568
00:24:17.315 --> 00:24:17.955
It's just terrible.

569
00:24:18.693 --> 00:24:20.494
Um, but cause I want us both to do it.

570
00:24:21.475 --> 00:24:22.355
You know what I mean?

571
00:24:22.555 --> 00:24:30.500
I wouldn't ever want somebody to be like, they're all into me and I'm out here into whatever it is I want to be into that.

572
00:24:30.520 --> 00:24:30.840
Yeah.

573
00:24:31.381 --> 00:24:35.723
So I really want to, I want to have a better understanding of it to be quite honest.

574
00:24:35.943 --> 00:24:37.264
Um, yeah, I don't know.

575
00:24:37.284 --> 00:24:38.185
We're going to have to, let's see.

576
00:24:38.565 --> 00:24:38.885
Okay.

577
00:24:38.905 --> 00:24:40.626
So solo poly apparently.

578
00:24:40.726 --> 00:24:40.946
Okay.

579
00:24:42.868 --> 00:24:43.308
Okay.

580
00:24:43.328 --> 00:24:46.690
So it's a relationship structure with an actual philosophy behind it.

581
00:24:47.687 --> 00:24:48.428
I'd have never guessed that.

582
00:24:50.009 --> 00:24:54.952
A solo poly person practiced polyamory while maintaining... Good night.

583
00:24:55.112 --> 00:24:55.912
I'm not doing this today.

584
00:24:58.834 --> 00:25:00.115
Autonomy as their default.

585
00:25:00.315 --> 00:25:01.336
No nesting partner.

586
00:25:01.376 --> 00:25:02.857
No merged finances.

587
00:25:04.498 --> 00:25:05.939
It sounds like you're single to me, Coco.

588
00:25:07.360 --> 00:25:07.880
I agree.

589
00:25:07.900 --> 00:25:11.442
I feel like it's definitely someone who's single.

590
00:25:11.462 --> 00:25:12.243
Yes.

591
00:25:12.383 --> 00:25:13.264
And maybe somebody who...

592
00:25:13.284 --> 00:25:14.444
They're their own priority.

593
00:25:14.524 --> 00:25:14.765
Right.

594
00:25:14.805 --> 00:25:15.025
You...

595
00:25:15.938 --> 00:25:18.038
You are yourself.

596
00:25:18.178 --> 00:25:19.279
It's just you.

597
00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:21.539
Which to me sounds like, you know, you're single.

598
00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:27.400
But I think the reason why it's a part of our topic today is because they multi-date.

599
00:25:29.701 --> 00:25:30.901
I don't think that...

600
00:25:30.921 --> 00:25:33.802
But when you're single, you technically can multi-date, right?

601
00:25:33.922 --> 00:25:35.142
You absolutely can.

602
00:25:35.162 --> 00:25:37.082
I mean, it's the same.

603
00:25:37.122 --> 00:25:39.403
Like I said, I feel like it's the same thing as being single.

604
00:25:39.423 --> 00:25:39.823
Yeah.

605
00:25:39.863 --> 00:25:44.644
However, I feel like couples can multi-date.

606
00:25:46.740 --> 00:26:15.371
people in probably these situations multi-date oh unless it's a closed one so like if you have like a situation where it's closed you only date each other okay yeah it's still giving very much single to me guys but I get it like if we go on a date I don't know

607
00:26:17.076 --> 00:26:18.617
We got that hot seat ready for you.

608
00:26:18.958 --> 00:26:23.603
If you're out there and you happen to be solo poly, please give us a ring.

609
00:26:24.003 --> 00:26:24.363
Hit our DM.

610
00:26:24.383 --> 00:26:25.905
Because we are super, super curious.

611
00:26:25.945 --> 00:26:27.527
We would love to hear your point of view.

612
00:26:28.548 --> 00:26:31.231
However, let's go into our word of the day.

613
00:26:31.271 --> 00:26:32.392
Y'all ready to learn something new?

614
00:26:32.752 --> 00:26:33.173
Oh, shucks.

615
00:26:33.193 --> 00:26:34.154
What's the word of the day?

616
00:26:34.174 --> 00:26:34.454
Yes.

617
00:26:42.252 --> 00:26:46.013
The day is, we rolled right into that, single-ish.

618
00:26:47.013 --> 00:26:47.733
Single-ish.

619
00:26:48.453 --> 00:26:48.893
Yes.

620
00:26:49.654 --> 00:26:51.434
Is it like situationships-ish?

621
00:26:51.614 --> 00:26:52.674
And then you, tell me.

622
00:26:52.814 --> 00:26:58.315
Well, apparently it's dating freely without prioritizing commitment while staying honest with everyone.

623
00:26:58.796 --> 00:26:59.676
Why it matters.

624
00:27:00.636 --> 00:27:04.057
The names in between space between casual and serious.

625
00:27:05.037 --> 00:27:05.537
Mm-hmm.

626
00:27:06.732 --> 00:27:08.753
So single-ish.

627
00:27:08.773 --> 00:27:13.296
I think that that's it.

628
00:27:14.177 --> 00:27:15.678
That's the best way to describe it, you think?

629
00:27:16.318 --> 00:27:17.098
Single-ish.

630
00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:19.140
Because I want to be honest with all my partners.

631
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:19.760
Not want to be.

632
00:27:19.800 --> 00:27:20.080
I do.

633
00:27:20.601 --> 00:27:21.781
I'm honest with everyone.

634
00:27:23.702 --> 00:27:24.923
I mean, of course, it took a while.

635
00:27:24.943 --> 00:27:26.363
I love that, though.

636
00:27:26.423 --> 00:27:27.244
Single-ish.

637
00:27:27.564 --> 00:27:29.005
Okay, new word.

638
00:27:29.025 --> 00:27:29.225
Kind of?

639
00:27:29.245 --> 00:27:30.165
You're kind of single?

640
00:27:30.205 --> 00:27:30.946
You're kind of single.

641
00:27:30.966 --> 00:27:32.386
But you got some established things?

642
00:27:32.566 --> 00:27:35.668
Yes, because I feel like I have established relationships, yes.

643
00:27:36.809 --> 00:27:40.130
And solid ones as well.

644
00:27:40.150 --> 00:27:51.536
And even in a partnership, I feel like there's a certain level of commitment, but not like...

645
00:27:53.818 --> 00:27:54.218
I don't know.

646
00:27:54.519 --> 00:27:55.860
I don't want to say commitment, commitment.

647
00:27:56.380 --> 00:27:58.361
Because there's just a certain level of commitment.

648
00:27:58.401 --> 00:28:03.085
Like, I feel like, you know that saying that what's understood doesn't have to be explained?

649
00:28:03.185 --> 00:28:06.287
That is what I am with my partners.

650
00:28:07.368 --> 00:28:09.590
I mean, it sounds like you might be right.

651
00:28:09.650 --> 00:28:12.692
I mean, it says the space between casual and serious.

652
00:28:13.312 --> 00:28:14.413
So, that makes sense.

653
00:28:14.433 --> 00:28:16.234
And I'm smack dead in the middle of it.

654
00:28:17.115 --> 00:28:18.056
I mean, right here.

655
00:28:18.216 --> 00:28:18.896
Just right there.

656
00:28:18.916 --> 00:28:20.097
Okay.

657
00:28:20.117 --> 00:28:22.419
This is me and these are, you know.

658
00:28:23.139 --> 00:28:23.419
Yeah.

659
00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:23.799
Yeah.

660
00:28:23.879 --> 00:28:24.280
Your folks?

661
00:28:24.580 --> 00:28:24.880
Yes.

662
00:28:25.560 --> 00:28:26.141
Single-ish.

663
00:28:26.581 --> 00:28:27.041
Okay.

664
00:28:27.381 --> 00:28:28.562
How do you feel about single-ish?

665
00:28:28.902 --> 00:28:29.623
Single-ish.

666
00:28:30.063 --> 00:28:31.524
Single-ish.

667
00:28:31.804 --> 00:28:32.504
Are you in love?

668
00:28:32.604 --> 00:28:33.365
Are you single?

669
00:28:34.305 --> 00:28:35.606
Are you, like, what do you got?

670
00:28:35.626 --> 00:28:36.246
What do you got going on?

671
00:28:36.266 --> 00:28:38.928
I met a guy today at a football place, at this football thing today.

672
00:28:39.728 --> 00:28:41.969
And he goes, are you single?

673
00:28:42.730 --> 00:28:43.270
Are you single?

674
00:28:43.290 --> 00:28:44.491
He said single-ish.

675
00:28:44.611 --> 00:28:45.111
Are you single?

676
00:28:45.131 --> 00:28:45.872
Are you single-ish?

677
00:28:46.052 --> 00:28:46.732
Are you in love?

678
00:28:47.593 --> 00:28:48.273
And I was like...

679
00:28:49.809 --> 00:28:51.609
I mean, now that we know what single-ish means.

680
00:28:51.770 --> 00:28:52.370
Yeah.

681
00:28:52.390 --> 00:28:53.650
It's a question.

682
00:28:53.670 --> 00:28:54.310
It's a real thing.

683
00:28:54.470 --> 00:28:55.651
Are you by yourself?

684
00:28:56.631 --> 00:28:57.971
Are you in between something?

685
00:28:58.231 --> 00:29:00.112
Or are you locked up?

686
00:29:00.132 --> 00:29:02.072
You locked in, you know?

687
00:29:02.772 --> 00:29:03.813
But can you be...

688
00:29:04.193 --> 00:29:04.933
So I feel like...

689
00:29:06.634 --> 00:29:07.994
I feel like I'm all the above at this point.

690
00:29:08.294 --> 00:29:08.634
Because...

691
00:29:10.495 --> 00:29:13.195
I'm just saying, you know, I feel like I'm all the above.

692
00:29:13.695 --> 00:29:15.336
Because I'm locked in...

693
00:29:16.352 --> 00:29:19.293
With different people for different reasons.

694
00:29:20.454 --> 00:29:21.334
But I'm honest about it.

695
00:29:21.574 --> 00:29:21.814
Yeah.

696
00:29:22.034 --> 00:29:25.716
And I'm honest to the other individuals as well that come at me.

697
00:29:26.976 --> 00:29:28.577
I'm very open to them.

698
00:29:28.617 --> 00:29:31.358
And it'd be so funny because they're not used to that.

699
00:29:32.018 --> 00:29:33.559
So like people looking at me like I'm crazy.

700
00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:34.760
Like, you say what?

701
00:29:35.220 --> 00:29:36.400
Did you really just say that out your mouth?

702
00:29:37.020 --> 00:29:37.561
Sir, I did.

703
00:29:37.641 --> 00:29:38.001
I did.

704
00:29:38.481 --> 00:29:39.021
And meant it.

705
00:29:39.361 --> 00:29:39.682
Yeah.

706
00:29:39.822 --> 00:29:40.802
And I said it with my chest.

707
00:29:41.042 --> 00:29:41.422
Yes.

708
00:29:41.762 --> 00:29:42.923
So what you got?

709
00:29:43.963 --> 00:30:07.733
oh well i said i'm still interested okay okay right now we can have a conversation you know what i mean we got that out the way yes that right there but let me tell you what the problem that i have is when they are okay with it and then they come in a situation and then they go yeah this ain't working for me girl you can't put that cool cat on them and expect them to uh listen she said it not me

710
00:30:09.750 --> 00:30:12.011
That might be, that may be the case.

711
00:30:12.051 --> 00:30:15.493
You know, people always think they can change something until they realize, oh.

712
00:30:16.634 --> 00:30:17.414
This is really who she is.

713
00:30:17.494 --> 00:30:18.855
I thought, okay.

714
00:30:19.835 --> 00:30:20.976
This is really who she is.

715
00:30:21.016 --> 00:30:23.437
This is what she's about right now.

716
00:30:24.178 --> 00:30:28.000
And, you know, maybe at 50, 60, maybe I won't be.

717
00:30:28.280 --> 00:30:28.880
Right?

718
00:30:28.940 --> 00:30:29.801
But that's my choice.

719
00:30:29.841 --> 00:30:33.943
I thought, I thought she was one of those girls I could fuck into submission.

720
00:30:34.823 --> 00:30:36.544
Ooh, let me sip this gut.

721
00:30:38.852 --> 00:30:39.572
She said it, y'all.

722
00:30:39.592 --> 00:30:39.992
She said it.

723
00:30:40.733 --> 00:30:44.434
I feel like, you know, that people feel like they can change you.

724
00:30:44.494 --> 00:30:45.294
Women do it, too.

725
00:30:45.374 --> 00:30:49.516
Women feel like they could change a man by throwing pussy at them.

726
00:30:50.116 --> 00:30:51.437
Or bringing someone else in.

727
00:30:51.537 --> 00:30:52.577
Bringing someone else in.

728
00:30:52.657 --> 00:30:53.777
Or having a baby.

729
00:30:53.977 --> 00:30:56.818
Just trying to persuade.

730
00:30:56.858 --> 00:30:58.239
I don't like that.

731
00:30:58.359 --> 00:31:00.080
You can't cook what you want out of a nigga.

732
00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:02.040
You can't fuck what you want out of a nigga.

733
00:31:02.380 --> 00:31:04.521
You can't clean what you want out of a nigga.

734
00:31:04.541 --> 00:31:05.021
You can't.

735
00:31:05.201 --> 00:31:05.722
You just can't.

736
00:31:05.742 --> 00:31:06.362
You can't.

737
00:31:06.782 --> 00:31:07.785
And a baby ain't going to do it either.

738
00:31:07.805 --> 00:31:09.709
If that nigga's going to show up, he's going to show up.

739
00:31:09.869 --> 00:31:11.212
If that woman is going to show up...

740
00:31:12.467 --> 00:31:12.987
Excuse me.

741
00:31:13.067 --> 00:31:17.968
I just believe that whatever the society norms is just corny.

742
00:31:18.408 --> 00:31:19.629
Yeah.

743
00:31:20.489 --> 00:31:22.929
And I think that so many people have gotten brainwashed into that.

744
00:31:23.550 --> 00:31:27.250
And because they so worried about, you know, what would my parents think?

745
00:31:27.490 --> 00:31:33.272
Like, I remember having a conversation with someone in my family as it relates to it.

746
00:31:33.292 --> 00:31:34.712
And they were looking at me like I was crazy.

747
00:31:35.132 --> 00:31:36.452
And I was like, oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

748
00:31:36.893 --> 00:31:38.773
Girl, furthermore, when they see this right here.

749
00:31:39.963 --> 00:31:42.224
Y'all really going to go crazy, and I'm not going to give a damn.

750
00:31:43.185 --> 00:31:44.265
So there's that.

751
00:31:44.485 --> 00:31:45.506
I'm just, you know.

752
00:31:45.586 --> 00:31:46.026
It is what it is.

753
00:31:46.246 --> 00:31:46.606
It is.

754
00:31:46.706 --> 00:31:47.387
It is what it is.

755
00:31:47.807 --> 00:31:49.128
And it's my life, and I'm going to live it.

756
00:31:49.248 --> 00:31:49.848
You know what I mean?

757
00:31:49.928 --> 00:31:50.248
Mm-hmm.

758
00:31:51.209 --> 00:31:51.809
Absolutely.

759
00:31:53.130 --> 00:31:53.550
Okay.

760
00:31:53.610 --> 00:31:56.071
Single-ish, and we got the poly.

761
00:31:56.231 --> 00:31:56.631
Okay.

762
00:31:58.532 --> 00:32:03.455
I had to swallow that right there because, baby, fucking somebody in submission just almost took me out because...

763
00:32:05.222 --> 00:32:06.383
Now I'm over here hot, y'all.

764
00:32:06.703 --> 00:32:09.164
I don't know if it's the hair.

765
00:32:09.184 --> 00:32:11.165
The hot seat, you was in the hot seat for a second.

766
00:32:11.185 --> 00:32:13.306
I was in the hot seat, yes.

767
00:32:13.426 --> 00:32:19.268
Because I really feel like, no, the person that needs to be in the hot seat, you know, listen, we're going to get that ass in the hot seat.

768
00:32:19.288 --> 00:32:19.849
Don't even worry about it.

769
00:32:19.869 --> 00:32:23.090
We're going to blindfold them and just have a, and do a voice box, a voiceover.

770
00:32:23.210 --> 00:32:23.530
Dang.

771
00:32:25.511 --> 00:32:26.792
Call her, uh.

772
00:32:29.093 --> 00:32:30.193
That part, okay?

773
00:32:31.454 --> 00:32:33.495
But nonetheless, um,

774
00:32:34.715 --> 00:32:41.061
What is the biggest misconception people have, you think, while dating Polly?

775
00:32:41.081 --> 00:32:45.025
That we out here just fucking any and everything.

776
00:32:45.045 --> 00:32:46.666
Girl, don't say that shit again.

777
00:32:46.686 --> 00:32:48.128
And it is all about sex.

778
00:32:49.686 --> 00:32:51.388
Why does everybody sexualize everything?

779
00:32:51.548 --> 00:32:52.208
Why?

780
00:32:52.549 --> 00:32:53.089
I don't know.

781
00:32:53.790 --> 00:32:55.211
It's just crazy.

782
00:32:55.551 --> 00:32:59.995
What about the nesting partner that just wants to cook for you and just vibe?

783
00:33:00.055 --> 00:33:03.158
And just wants to just be in your essence.

784
00:33:03.198 --> 00:33:03.958
That's it.

785
00:33:04.078 --> 00:33:04.579
Yeah.

786
00:33:05.019 --> 00:33:07.101
Smell you and I don't know sexual shit.

787
00:33:07.221 --> 00:33:08.623
Just cuddle.

788
00:33:08.703 --> 00:33:09.204
Yeah.

789
00:33:09.224 --> 00:33:09.744
You know, just.

790
00:33:09.804 --> 00:33:11.406
Because I'm such a cuddle bug.

791
00:33:11.986 --> 00:33:12.207
Oh.

792
00:33:12.547 --> 00:33:13.788
I'm such a cuddle bug.

793
00:33:14.629 --> 00:33:15.770
I love a good cuddle.

794
00:33:15.871 --> 00:33:16.651
Okay.

795
00:33:16.932 --> 00:33:17.712
I love a good cuddle.

796
00:33:17.752 --> 00:33:18.313
A good movie.

797
00:33:18.353 --> 00:33:18.994
A good cuddle.

798
00:33:19.034 --> 00:33:20.055
My butt on you.

799
00:33:20.215 --> 00:33:20.976
Like, yeah.

800
00:33:21.056 --> 00:33:22.277
And not on you.

801
00:33:22.337 --> 00:33:24.139
So your shit can slide in, nigga.

802
00:33:24.179 --> 00:33:24.600
Like, just.

803
00:33:24.780 --> 00:33:25.280
Cut it out.

804
00:33:25.941 --> 00:33:26.602
Just want you there.

805
00:33:27.023 --> 00:33:27.323
Right?

806
00:33:27.523 --> 00:33:27.904
Yeah.

807
00:33:27.984 --> 00:33:31.489
Like, damn, I want to get a massage without your fingers sliding in places that ain't got no business.

808
00:33:31.509 --> 00:33:32.391
That they don't belong.

809
00:33:32.551 --> 00:33:33.392
I'm telling you.

810
00:33:33.412 --> 00:33:36.216
Like, just learn how to be, like, intimate without the sex.

811
00:33:36.397 --> 00:33:38.840
But I think that everybody feels like intimacy is sex.

812
00:33:38.940 --> 00:33:39.722
So it's just...

813
00:33:40.697 --> 00:33:42.038
We're going to teach.

814
00:33:42.058 --> 00:33:45.301
We're going to teach and we're going to also learn together because I don't feel like I know everything.

815
00:33:45.381 --> 00:33:45.681
Okay?

816
00:33:46.382 --> 00:33:47.242
Yeah, I mean, we don't.

817
00:33:47.322 --> 00:33:49.865
We're not here as relationship experts.

818
00:33:50.065 --> 00:33:50.625
That part.

819
00:33:50.645 --> 00:33:52.487
We're learning every day just like everyone else.

820
00:33:52.587 --> 00:33:54.829
You see, we have the word of the day and we're learning as you learn.

821
00:33:55.049 --> 00:33:56.850
Absolutely.

822
00:33:57.771 --> 00:34:00.013
But we do know what we like, what we don't like.

823
00:34:00.153 --> 00:34:02.875
We know what we've experienced and we're just sharing that.

824
00:34:03.476 --> 00:34:04.937
And we're living in our truth.

825
00:34:04.977 --> 00:34:05.497
Yeah.

826
00:34:05.597 --> 00:34:06.698
And I love that part.

827
00:34:06.838 --> 00:34:07.319
Absolutely.

828
00:34:08.395 --> 00:34:10.716
So don't you have some agrees and disagrees?

829
00:34:10.996 --> 00:34:12.917
I do have some agrees and disagrees.

830
00:34:12.957 --> 00:34:14.718
Let's get on, reach on around to them.

831
00:34:15.979 --> 00:34:16.439
Okay.

832
00:34:16.979 --> 00:34:20.901
So I know that we spoke on jealousy, but is jealousy a normal emotion?

833
00:34:22.042 --> 00:34:28.425
Well, would you agree or disagree that jealousy is a normal emotion and not a relationship failure?

834
00:34:29.600 --> 00:34:29.900
I agree.

835
00:34:30.500 --> 00:34:31.600
I agree with that as well.

836
00:34:31.861 --> 00:34:32.261
Yeah.

837
00:34:32.401 --> 00:34:34.961
Jealousy is a natural emotion.

838
00:34:35.561 --> 00:34:40.223
I mean, you can be jealous because somebody got into the checkout line ahead of you.

839
00:34:40.523 --> 00:34:41.883
And that bitch had a thousand groceries.

840
00:34:41.903 --> 00:34:44.363
You just knew that you was going to get ahead of the hoe.

841
00:34:44.403 --> 00:34:48.324
But here you are.

842
00:34:48.344 --> 00:34:50.185
The thing I had was a bag of bread.

843
00:34:50.325 --> 00:34:50.985
Exactly.

844
00:34:51.085 --> 00:34:52.825
And here you are with all of these on the first.

845
00:34:52.905 --> 00:34:54.666
And you know the food stamps that came in.

846
00:34:54.686 --> 00:34:55.246
You know what I'm saying?

847
00:34:55.266 --> 00:34:57.627
If y'all got any of them food stamps that you want to share, please.

848
00:34:57.647 --> 00:34:58.407
By all means.

849
00:34:58.507 --> 00:34:59.127
Okay.

850
00:35:00.387 --> 00:35:01.528
But no, for real.

851
00:35:01.568 --> 00:35:02.148
For real.

852
00:35:02.188 --> 00:35:03.109
It's normal.

853
00:35:03.349 --> 00:35:03.749
I agree.

854
00:35:03.809 --> 00:35:04.669
It's what you do with it.

855
00:35:05.210 --> 00:35:05.550
Yeah.

856
00:35:06.050 --> 00:35:06.330
Yeah.

857
00:35:07.270 --> 00:35:14.053
And then what about, do you feel that you can love one, I'm sorry, more than one person equally?

858
00:35:16.555 --> 00:35:17.015
I believe so.

859
00:35:20.640 --> 00:35:48.132
it's about what each person creates or gives to you in your life people have multiple children and don't love them any different cause you know I was headed there you have best friends who you don't have any hierarchy within you know what I mean and I'm sure I only have one blood sibling so I can't speak to this but I'm sure people have siblings and don't love one sibling more or less than the other

860
00:35:48.601 --> 00:35:49.142
Right.

861
00:35:49.822 --> 00:36:02.693
So I don't think we should act weird or change the how we look at it just because it's a romantic relationship.

862
00:36:03.314 --> 00:36:04.394
Okay.

863
00:36:04.414 --> 00:36:05.776
That's super, super fair.

864
00:36:08.078 --> 00:36:10.800
Do you feel that your partner...

865
00:36:11.890 --> 00:36:19.793
or partners should meet or should have to meet every emotional need that you have.

866
00:36:20.053 --> 00:36:20.233
No.

867
00:36:21.354 --> 00:36:24.715
I feel like that is so unrealistic and so unfair to ask of someone.

868
00:36:25.275 --> 00:36:25.995
It's so needy.

869
00:36:26.996 --> 00:36:27.336
Like,

870
00:36:28.370 --> 00:36:32.833
There are some emotions that you have that are a you problem and that you need to address that.

871
00:36:33.594 --> 00:36:36.095
Are there things that you and your partner do have to share?

872
00:36:36.155 --> 00:36:41.399
And yes, you and your partner do have things that you are going to have to work out and you're going to have to face and address together.

873
00:36:41.919 --> 00:36:43.500
But not every single last one is.

874
00:36:43.640 --> 00:36:45.482
Yeah, because some of your bags are a little hairy.

875
00:36:45.742 --> 00:36:46.943
I mean, heavy for me to carry.

876
00:36:47.063 --> 00:36:47.523
Okay.

877
00:36:47.883 --> 00:36:50.305
Like, it's unfair to ask somebody.

878
00:36:50.465 --> 00:36:50.805
Yeah.

879
00:36:50.905 --> 00:36:51.546
Ask that of someone.

880
00:36:51.566 --> 00:36:52.366
Yeah, I agree.

881
00:36:52.547 --> 00:36:53.027
It's crazy.

882
00:36:53.247 --> 00:36:54.428
I would definitely agree with that.

883
00:36:54.868 --> 00:36:59.051
Even to a certain degree, like I'll help you unpack some of it, but some of that shit you got to unpack on your own.

884
00:36:59.491 --> 00:37:03.654
And some of that you got to, you know, learn to, you got to unlearn to relearn.

885
00:37:04.215 --> 00:37:05.956
And you have to get out your own way.

886
00:37:06.576 --> 00:37:11.079
And some of it is not even like an actual emotional need or whatever.

887
00:37:11.159 --> 00:37:14.342
Like I feel like some of it is just self-regulation.

888
00:37:15.382 --> 00:37:19.185
Like what is your nervous system telling you that is really important?

889
00:37:20.224 --> 00:37:23.566
That you're creating this huge thing that you're bringing to your partner.

890
00:37:23.586 --> 00:37:27.207
And after a while, that shit's just like, it's draining.

891
00:37:27.568 --> 00:37:28.028
Yes.

892
00:37:28.568 --> 00:37:33.871
And it's unfair for you to even put all of that on someone that you're dating, whether it be multiple people or one person.

893
00:37:33.911 --> 00:37:34.331
Right.

894
00:37:34.531 --> 00:37:35.291
It's just crazy.

895
00:37:35.311 --> 00:37:36.032
I agree.

896
00:37:36.052 --> 00:37:36.772
It's a crazy expectation.

897
00:37:37.272 --> 00:37:38.253
I super agree.

898
00:37:39.322 --> 00:37:48.185
So most relationships, would you agree or disagree that most relationship problems start with unspoken expectations?

899
00:37:48.245 --> 00:37:49.906
Child, I'm about to jump out my chair.

900
00:37:50.526 --> 00:37:56.028
I don't, not necessarily most, but there's a good amount.

901
00:37:56.288 --> 00:37:57.989
Yes, there's definitely a good amount.

902
00:37:58.009 --> 00:37:58.509
There's a good amount.

903
00:37:58.549 --> 00:37:59.469
I definitely agree there.

904
00:37:59.489 --> 00:38:01.450
People want people to be mind readers.

905
00:38:02.418 --> 00:38:03.199
And you need to.

906
00:38:03.239 --> 00:38:03.879
I used to want that.

907
00:38:03.999 --> 00:38:04.820
I want to ring that bell.

908
00:38:04.960 --> 00:38:05.661
You need to do what?

909
00:38:06.021 --> 00:38:06.522
Communicate.

910
00:38:06.542 --> 00:38:08.583
Yeah, I used to want them to be Cleo.

911
00:38:08.904 --> 00:38:09.324
Yeah.

912
00:38:09.484 --> 00:38:09.864
Yeah.

913
00:38:09.925 --> 00:38:10.645
Be the crystal ball.

914
00:38:10.725 --> 00:38:11.106
Please.

915
00:38:11.686 --> 00:38:12.427
And you figure it out.

916
00:38:12.647 --> 00:38:13.468
But I'm not going to get you.

917
00:38:13.548 --> 00:38:14.649
Because you should know.

918
00:38:14.909 --> 00:38:15.529
You should.

919
00:38:16.150 --> 00:38:18.011
Meanwhile, no one's the same.

920
00:38:19.052 --> 00:38:20.674
And a lot of us women want that.

921
00:38:20.894 --> 00:38:26.098
We expect the men or women in our life or our partners to just know.

922
00:38:26.619 --> 00:38:27.279
And it's like...

923
00:38:29.097 --> 00:38:30.659
Yeah, and it's unfair.

924
00:38:30.859 --> 00:38:31.440
It is.

925
00:38:31.580 --> 00:38:34.143
And it's an unrealistic expectation, right?

926
00:38:34.223 --> 00:38:36.906
And I recognized myself when I used to do that.

927
00:38:36.946 --> 00:38:38.587
You know, years ago, I'm like...

928
00:38:39.755 --> 00:38:42.296
I want you to do this in my head.

929
00:38:42.436 --> 00:38:43.756
Yeah, I was that person years ago.

930
00:38:43.776 --> 00:38:44.356
I'm in my head.

931
00:38:44.376 --> 00:38:45.376
And I'm just like crying.

932
00:38:45.396 --> 00:38:47.697
Like, I mean, but he should just know.

933
00:38:47.717 --> 00:38:49.877
Like, he should just know that that's what I want.

934
00:38:49.917 --> 00:38:50.718
Like, how?

935
00:38:50.738 --> 00:38:51.578
How he don't know?

936
00:38:52.478 --> 00:38:54.378
The person he dated prior to you didn't want that.

937
00:38:54.519 --> 00:38:55.059
Exactly.

938
00:38:55.099 --> 00:38:55.599
And it was never a thing.

939
00:38:55.619 --> 00:38:56.239
So how do you want to know?

940
00:38:56.279 --> 00:38:57.279
That was, right.

941
00:38:57.899 --> 00:39:01.340
And that's why it's so important to get to know the individuals that you're dealing with.

942
00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:07.682
Because if you do not get to know these people that you're dealing with, then unfortunately, you are going to have unrealistic expectations.

943
00:39:07.922 --> 00:39:09.342
Or you're not going to meet their needs.

944
00:39:11.543 --> 00:39:26.252
that part yes yes ma'am you see i should be finishing my sentences we are a beautiful team we are i love it i love it um okay so oh you know what

945
00:39:27.325 --> 00:39:30.188
I have, I did these quick fires.

946
00:39:30.748 --> 00:39:32.150
I'm going to get us, you know what I'm going to get us?

947
00:39:32.190 --> 00:39:37.014
I'm going to get us some cards or an iPad that has the hearts on it.

948
00:39:37.034 --> 00:39:38.115
So it could be much bigger, y'all.

949
00:39:38.135 --> 00:39:40.077
Cause I got my contacts in, but I'm still over here squinting.

950
00:39:40.678 --> 00:39:41.398
We're going to pray over it.

951
00:39:43.180 --> 00:39:43.941
The quick fire.

952
00:39:44.621 --> 00:39:48.325
Would you date someone who has never been poly before?

953
00:39:49.065 --> 00:39:49.506
Yes.

954
00:39:50.206 --> 00:39:50.607
Because.

955
00:39:50.667 --> 00:39:51.007
Really?

956
00:39:51.027 --> 00:39:51.909
Yeah.

957
00:39:52.349 --> 00:39:52.649
Okay.

958
00:39:53.170 --> 00:40:01.460
I feel like my significant other and I have dated women who were not experienced in poly and it was their first time trying it.

959
00:40:01.921 --> 00:40:05.125
There are, I feel like there's two types of people.

960
00:40:05.680 --> 00:40:11.562
You have people who want to experiment with you and want to just see what it's like or, you know.

961
00:40:11.582 --> 00:40:13.663
So like the curious, almost like bi-curious.

962
00:40:13.963 --> 00:40:16.304
Bi-curious or just try-curious.

963
00:40:16.544 --> 00:40:17.944
They just want to try some shit.

964
00:40:18.664 --> 00:40:19.145
You know what I mean?

965
00:40:19.165 --> 00:40:19.585
You have those.

966
00:40:19.645 --> 00:40:22.726
And once you open Pandora's box, baby, you typically don't go back.

967
00:40:22.766 --> 00:40:23.346
Hey.

968
00:40:23.366 --> 00:40:24.786
So.

969
00:40:25.527 --> 00:40:26.787
So you have those people.

970
00:40:27.347 --> 00:40:28.608
And then you have...

971
00:40:30.847 --> 00:40:32.467
I'm losing my train of luck.

972
00:40:32.947 --> 00:40:39.829
But you have people who want to try, and then you have some people who, I think, are just kind of, like, playing around.

973
00:40:39.849 --> 00:40:40.769
Mm-hmm.

974
00:40:41.129 --> 00:40:41.469
You know?

975
00:40:41.589 --> 00:40:42.209
So, I don't know.

976
00:40:42.249 --> 00:40:50.191
I feel like there's just two different types of, I guess, inexperienced people.

977
00:40:50.351 --> 00:40:50.671
You know?

978
00:40:50.711 --> 00:40:52.191
You just got to, I guess, measure it.

979
00:40:52.211 --> 00:40:56.552
But I feel like, at one point, I was someone who had never experienced it.

980
00:40:57.092 --> 00:41:00.333
So, who am I to tell someone that they're just...

981
00:41:01.299 --> 00:41:03.680
someone I just could not date just because they haven't done that before.

982
00:41:04.060 --> 00:41:04.500
Right.

983
00:41:04.840 --> 00:41:07.461
Now, if they're serious, cool.

984
00:41:07.481 --> 00:41:14.883
But if you got somebody that's just experimenting and they just want to try some shit, you know what I'm saying, and play with your time, I don't want my time played with.

985
00:41:15.163 --> 00:41:15.483
Yeah.

986
00:41:15.583 --> 00:41:23.546
I think you guys to play, I think you should probably just figure someone out that want to play and see if they're on that level.

987
00:41:24.066 --> 00:41:24.406
Right.

988
00:41:26.807 --> 00:41:29.968
And then what is the biggest green flag for you?

989
00:41:31.108 --> 00:41:31.768
The biggest?

990
00:41:32.208 --> 00:41:35.389
Yeah, like what's the biggest green flag?

991
00:41:37.130 --> 00:41:40.911
Meeting someone and I can tell that they have a genuine interest in us both.

992
00:41:41.972 --> 00:41:42.452
Ooh.

993
00:41:42.732 --> 00:41:52.135
It's kind of tough because you'll meet someone like that is either more interested in him and it's obvious or more interested in me and it's obvious.

994
00:41:53.035 --> 00:41:59.858
And I'm never going to have us settle down with someone who's only into me.

995
00:41:59.898 --> 00:42:00.418
I would never...

996
00:42:01.006 --> 00:42:08.312
leave him out of or leave his needs unmet or expect him to go without that additional love.

997
00:42:08.612 --> 00:42:09.313
You know what I mean?

998
00:42:09.493 --> 00:42:12.415
So if we're a package deal or nothing.

999
00:42:13.156 --> 00:42:13.416
Yeah.

1000
00:42:13.957 --> 00:42:15.638
So it's all or nothing.

1001
00:42:15.738 --> 00:42:16.118
Yeah.

1002
00:42:16.239 --> 00:42:22.744
So if I see that that's not something that we have to worry about, I'm instantly like, Ooh, tell me more.

1003
00:42:22.764 --> 00:42:24.585
Okay.

1004
00:42:25.866 --> 00:42:26.327
Okay.

1005
00:42:26.667 --> 00:42:28.669
And then what about the biggest red flag?

1006
00:42:32.025 --> 00:42:34.506
did you see her face change?

1007
00:42:36.166 --> 00:42:37.746
Yeah, it's the face that needs deliverance.

1008
00:42:37.766 --> 00:42:39.146
We're going to work on our poker faces, y'all.

1009
00:42:39.166 --> 00:42:40.407
We're going to work.

1010
00:42:40.427 --> 00:42:42.147
I'm telling you, my indoor...

1011
00:42:42.527 --> 00:42:43.887
I told my son that when he was born.

1012
00:42:43.907 --> 00:42:47.348
I said, we're going to work on your indoor faces, boo.

1013
00:42:47.388 --> 00:42:47.628
Yeah.

1014
00:42:47.648 --> 00:42:48.648
Like, I got room to talk.

1015
00:42:48.668 --> 00:42:49.808
Right.

1016
00:42:50.469 --> 00:42:57.430
But biggest red flag, I would say someone who you can tell is just there for, like...

1017
00:42:58.450 --> 00:43:00.071
Oh, they're going to take me out on dates.

1018
00:43:00.111 --> 00:43:01.712
They're going to buy me food.

1019
00:43:02.112 --> 00:43:03.293
They're going to buy me shit.

1020
00:43:03.313 --> 00:43:05.294
They're going to take me out of town.

1021
00:43:05.614 --> 00:43:07.876
Somebody that's looking for, like, a lick or come up.

1022
00:43:08.536 --> 00:43:10.057
That's a huge red flag for me.

1023
00:43:10.858 --> 00:43:11.138
Yeah.

1024
00:43:11.358 --> 00:43:11.738
You know.

1025
00:43:12.879 --> 00:43:14.020
That's tacky as shit, too.

1026
00:43:14.140 --> 00:43:14.780
It is.

1027
00:43:14.900 --> 00:43:15.240
It is.

1028
00:43:15.260 --> 00:43:18.642
But it's a lot of, like, broke bitch mentality out of here.

1029
00:43:18.682 --> 00:43:19.403
For sure.

1030
00:43:19.503 --> 00:43:20.644
You just got to, like, vet.

1031
00:43:20.764 --> 00:43:21.784
You got to vet really well.

1032
00:43:22.084 --> 00:43:22.485
Yeah.

1033
00:43:22.745 --> 00:43:25.607
So do you, like, go over resumes?

1034
00:43:25.827 --> 00:43:27.388
What's the vetting process like?

1035
00:43:28.708 --> 00:43:31.470
So, um, because how is it trying to date people?

1036
00:43:31.510 --> 00:43:41.199
And is it better dating your partner, dating with your partner as, you know, like one person or is it okay to date like three people at the same time or five people at the same time?

1037
00:43:41.219 --> 00:43:42.319
Like, what does it look like?

1038
00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:43.400
What, what is the limit?

1039
00:43:43.420 --> 00:43:46.543
Because I used to say I had these, this start in three.

1040
00:43:47.524 --> 00:43:52.448
There's somebody, this, this other person that tried to just creep their life in, in my bubble that, um,

1041
00:43:53.755 --> 00:43:57.158
Ain't nowhere near okay with none of this shit.

1042
00:43:57.178 --> 00:44:01.903
And I know because I know some things that I ain't supposed to know.

1043
00:44:02.583 --> 00:44:03.885
But they're still curious.

1044
00:44:04.285 --> 00:44:06.187
And, you know, sometimes curiosity kills the cat.

1045
00:44:06.227 --> 00:44:15.115
And then other times, you know, it brings a person in that they are like, okay, well, maybe I am interested in this or whatever the case may be because you can actually be honest here.

1046
00:44:15.416 --> 00:44:16.297
This is a safe space.

1047
00:44:16.897 --> 00:44:17.157
Okay.

1048
00:44:17.417 --> 00:44:18.297
You can be honest here.

1049
00:44:18.998 --> 00:44:22.058
And you know, what does that look like for a partner?

1050
00:44:22.759 --> 00:44:26.560
Like, or, or for you and your partner, like I should say, as far as dating.

1051
00:44:26.580 --> 00:44:34.642
So could you, would you rather, do you always, always all go out together or do you, do you go out separately?

1052
00:44:34.702 --> 00:44:36.162
Like, do you try to build a relationship?

1053
00:44:36.182 --> 00:44:45.905
Cause I know it'd be typically, I mean, truthfully, if you had, if it were me dealing with you all or whatever, it'd be super easy because you can, me and you are going to be like, Oh, we're about to go get waxes and waxes.

1054
00:44:46.025 --> 00:44:46.125
And,

1055
00:44:46.645 --> 00:44:47.765
We're about to go get nails done.

1056
00:44:47.805 --> 00:44:48.665
Do the girl things.

1057
00:44:48.785 --> 00:44:49.525
Yes.

1058
00:44:49.666 --> 00:44:51.546
I feel like eventually we get there.

1059
00:44:51.566 --> 00:44:52.606
Okay.

1060
00:44:52.906 --> 00:44:55.747
But starting out, it's a collective.

1061
00:44:55.847 --> 00:44:57.387
It's collective.

1062
00:44:58.347 --> 00:45:00.267
Okay.

1063
00:45:01.067 --> 00:45:02.768
So we tried, like, okay, you get the number.

1064
00:45:02.828 --> 00:45:05.008
I have a number of separate group chats.

1065
00:45:05.108 --> 00:45:06.088
So separate chats.

1066
00:45:06.168 --> 00:45:07.809
And we tried that initially.

1067
00:45:08.449 --> 00:45:13.189
And then we realized that we need to create a dynamic with the three of us.

1068
00:45:13.449 --> 00:45:16.250
Not create separate dynamics and then try to merge them later.

1069
00:45:17.827 --> 00:45:20.349
It just made more sense in our mind.

1070
00:45:20.409 --> 00:45:26.333
And once that trust is built, and I know this ain't a sneaky bitch, he know that, oh, she's interested in her too.

1071
00:45:26.753 --> 00:45:29.254
It's not just like no, it's no weird activity.

1072
00:45:29.435 --> 00:45:30.055
Yeah.

1073
00:45:30.075 --> 00:45:33.457
Then we both feel comfortable with one another doing solo dates.

1074
00:45:34.758 --> 00:45:35.098
Okay.

1075
00:45:35.138 --> 00:45:37.019
It's just hard to get to that point.

1076
00:45:37.059 --> 00:45:42.183
We have gotten to the point with at least one girl where we did a couple of solo dates together.

1077
00:45:43.281 --> 00:46:07.007
with her and it just didn't work out with her um she was solo poly but um see what i'm saying you wait till we get this solo you wait till we get this change but but um yeah i think once that trust is built and we know that there is an established connection amongst the three of us then it shouldn't be a problem dating separately but we just felt like it works best for us to like create that first

1078
00:46:08.522 --> 00:46:08.862
Okay.

1079
00:46:09.362 --> 00:46:09.582
Yeah.

1080
00:46:09.943 --> 00:46:10.443
Group chat.

1081
00:46:10.723 --> 00:46:11.463
Group chat first.

1082
00:46:11.483 --> 00:46:12.363
Group chat.

1083
00:46:12.443 --> 00:46:13.024
Okay.

1084
00:46:13.044 --> 00:46:14.124
Okay.

1085
00:46:15.885 --> 00:46:16.345
Wow.

1086
00:46:16.485 --> 00:46:16.825
So.

1087
00:46:16.845 --> 00:46:19.486
Oh, yeah.

1088
00:46:19.706 --> 00:46:21.807
What are your green and red flags?

1089
00:46:21.827 --> 00:46:31.090
So my green flag is being knowing who you are.

1090
00:46:32.211 --> 00:46:33.431
Knowing who you are.

1091
00:46:34.172 --> 00:46:35.372
Knowing what you want.

1092
00:46:36.192 --> 00:46:37.333
Being intentional.

1093
00:46:37.573 --> 00:46:37.913
Okay.

1094
00:46:38.517 --> 00:46:39.117
You know what I'm saying?

1095
00:46:39.137 --> 00:46:39.498
Yeah.

1096
00:46:39.578 --> 00:46:41.319
So I don't care what it is.

1097
00:46:42.020 --> 00:46:43.701
If you just want to fuck, say that.

1098
00:46:43.961 --> 00:46:44.382
Yeah.

1099
00:46:45.282 --> 00:46:45.943
You know what I'm saying?

1100
00:46:46.423 --> 00:46:55.991
If you are just trying to have a friend with benefits type of situation or you just need somebody to pour into you because you lack that and you just want that female companionship, it's okay.

1101
00:46:56.011 --> 00:46:58.513
Because I pour into my male friends, strictly platonic.

1102
00:46:58.593 --> 00:46:59.233
You know what I mean?

1103
00:46:59.673 --> 00:47:02.456
So, like, just state that and we can have that conversation.

1104
00:47:02.516 --> 00:47:03.276
And it's a real thing.

1105
00:47:03.296 --> 00:47:04.377
You don't have to lead me on.

1106
00:47:04.417 --> 00:47:05.438
You don't have to edge me on.

1107
00:47:05.458 --> 00:47:08.100
Like, we, listen, we too grown as fuck.

1108
00:47:08.782 --> 00:47:09.903
And I don't feel like it.

1109
00:47:10.223 --> 00:47:13.224
I just don't have the damn energy.

1110
00:47:13.244 --> 00:47:18.587
And then as far as it relates to the red flags, just being a liar.

1111
00:47:18.947 --> 00:47:19.707
Yes.

1112
00:47:19.967 --> 00:47:21.828
I cannot stand.

1113
00:47:22.008 --> 00:47:23.329
Listen to me.

1114
00:47:23.369 --> 00:47:25.050
It does something to my skin.

1115
00:47:25.790 --> 00:47:30.913
And I promise you, it probably does something to my skin so much just because I'm so open and I'm so honest.

1116
00:47:31.673 --> 00:47:33.614
And it took me a while to get here, though.

1117
00:47:33.634 --> 00:47:33.914
Right.

1118
00:47:34.514 --> 00:47:35.755
That's the truth.

1119
00:47:35.895 --> 00:47:37.635
And I wasn't lying.

1120
00:47:38.135 --> 00:47:39.355
I mean, little white lies.

1121
00:47:39.456 --> 00:47:44.457
And then I wasn't lying because I wanted to be facetious.

1122
00:47:44.537 --> 00:47:45.377
Yes, I didn't.

1123
00:47:45.577 --> 00:47:47.518
I was lying because I didn't want to hurt people.

1124
00:47:48.298 --> 00:47:48.838
You know what I mean?

1125
00:47:48.858 --> 00:47:51.959
But then I recognized I'm hurting them by lying to them.

1126
00:47:53.084 --> 00:47:58.009
At least if I tell them the truth, they can pick and choose if they want to stay and deal with it.

1127
00:47:58.429 --> 00:48:04.595
As opposed to me saying, oh, no, you know, you're the only one and you're the only person I care about.

1128
00:48:04.635 --> 00:48:05.555
You're stealing the option.

1129
00:48:05.896 --> 00:48:06.276
Yep.

1130
00:48:06.296 --> 00:48:07.497
I don't like that.

1131
00:48:07.778 --> 00:48:14.784
But then the whole time I'm over here and every chance that I get, I'm over here with Joe Blow having a ball.

1132
00:48:14.864 --> 00:48:15.084
Yeah.

1133
00:48:16.165 --> 00:48:17.125
You know what I mean?

1134
00:48:17.165 --> 00:48:21.107
Like, no, I think that we should just have a conversation where it's like, this is what it is.

1135
00:48:21.147 --> 00:48:24.388
So lying to me is a fuck no.

1136
00:48:26.629 --> 00:48:28.109
That's the biggest deal breaker for me.

1137
00:48:28.170 --> 00:48:34.772
And that's my, that's the red flags that I have as it relates to dating period and even friendships, right?

1138
00:48:34.792 --> 00:48:37.393
Like, don't even, if my hair looking mad, girl, tell me.

1139
00:48:37.773 --> 00:48:40.174
Because I know I'm giving poodle right now and I don't give a damn.

1140
00:48:40.194 --> 00:48:42.715
Girl, you know how people would kill for the curls?

1141
00:48:43.830 --> 00:48:44.490
For real.

1142
00:48:44.690 --> 00:48:46.551
Listen, walked outside, put some conditioner on to y'all.

1143
00:48:46.571 --> 00:48:47.171
This is how I got it.

1144
00:48:47.191 --> 00:48:48.631
The conditioner and the rain today.

1145
00:48:49.072 --> 00:48:50.252
This is how we came up with this.

1146
00:48:50.492 --> 00:48:52.273
So this is what we're going to go with.

1147
00:48:52.313 --> 00:48:53.393
At least you can get away with that.

1148
00:48:53.653 --> 00:48:54.713
Oh, amen to that.

1149
00:48:54.733 --> 00:48:56.154
Because the rain hits some people, honey.

1150
00:48:57.034 --> 00:48:57.754
Oh, I've seen it.

1151
00:48:57.834 --> 00:48:58.294
It's not.

1152
00:48:58.574 --> 00:48:59.115
I've seen it.

1153
00:48:59.135 --> 00:49:01.295
Yeah, the water just doesn't do you great sometimes.

1154
00:49:01.315 --> 00:49:02.436
Like the bigger witch of the West.

1155
00:49:03.096 --> 00:49:04.756
The West.

1156
00:49:04.816 --> 00:49:05.556
Just melt.

1157
00:49:06.217 --> 00:49:07.457
Yes, literally.

1158
00:49:08.337 --> 00:49:09.298
I am telling you.

1159
00:49:12.300 --> 00:49:20.367
Is transparency the same as telling your partner everything?

1160
00:49:20.608 --> 00:49:22.209
It depends on what you mean by everything.

1161
00:49:24.531 --> 00:49:24.872
You know?

1162
00:49:25.352 --> 00:49:26.073
Is it relevant?

1163
00:49:26.153 --> 00:49:26.913
Is it important?

1164
00:49:27.394 --> 00:49:27.834
Right.

1165
00:49:27.934 --> 00:49:29.496
You know what I mean?

1166
00:49:29.536 --> 00:49:31.398
I do think transparency is important.

1167
00:49:31.478 --> 00:49:32.018
I don't like...

1168
00:49:32.719 --> 00:49:35.001
The same way I don't like a liar, I don't like half-truths.

1169
00:49:36.042 --> 00:49:36.322
Okay.

1170
00:49:36.860 --> 00:49:38.261
So don't omit the truth.

1171
00:49:38.422 --> 00:49:38.742
Don't.

1172
00:49:39.022 --> 00:49:42.786
Yeah, they try to say, oh, well, I did tell you I was going to so-and-so.

1173
00:49:43.186 --> 00:49:47.290
Yeah, but you didn't say every time Dick, Harry, and whoever else was going to be there.

1174
00:49:47.610 --> 00:49:47.970
Right.

1175
00:49:48.070 --> 00:49:49.191
So, you know, I just.

1176
00:49:49.251 --> 00:49:51.834
Or that your ex was going to be there that I don't care for.

1177
00:49:51.854 --> 00:49:52.875
Exactly.

1178
00:49:53.015 --> 00:49:53.395
Yeah.

1179
00:49:53.515 --> 00:49:53.696
Exactly.

1180
00:49:53.976 --> 00:49:54.556
No, I get it.

1181
00:49:54.676 --> 00:49:58.440
Yeah, don't intentionally be deceitful.

1182
00:49:59.048 --> 00:50:00.889
And then turn around and say, well, I told you I was going.

1183
00:50:01.129 --> 00:50:01.989
I told you where I was going.

1184
00:50:02.429 --> 00:50:02.809
Right.

1185
00:50:02.829 --> 00:50:04.210
Because you're still being dishonest.

1186
00:50:05.070 --> 00:50:07.571
So transparency is important.

1187
00:50:07.611 --> 00:50:13.593
And I just feel like as far as telling me everything, I mean, it depends on what you mean by everything.

1188
00:50:13.633 --> 00:50:16.474
I don't even know that, you know, you took the biggest shit of your life last week.

1189
00:50:16.494 --> 00:50:18.595
I don't need to know that.

1190
00:50:19.275 --> 00:50:20.155
You know what I mean?

1191
00:50:20.195 --> 00:50:21.096
Yes, yes.

1192
00:50:21.136 --> 00:50:23.276
Like, there's a fine line.

1193
00:50:23.657 --> 00:50:23.977
It depends.

1194
00:50:24.077 --> 00:50:24.697
Right.

1195
00:50:25.417 --> 00:50:25.817
Okay.

1196
00:50:26.017 --> 00:50:26.598
That's fair.

1197
00:50:26.618 --> 00:50:27.578
I think that that's fair.

1198
00:50:29.380 --> 00:50:30.561
What's the time?

1199
00:50:31.621 --> 00:50:33.642
Open letter.

1200
00:50:33.843 --> 00:50:35.483
Okie dokie.

1201
00:50:35.503 --> 00:50:41.507
So if you're new here, open letter is where one of our heartthrobs asks us for advice.

1202
00:50:41.547 --> 00:50:44.168
They write in and we keep it anonymous always.

1203
00:50:44.188 --> 00:50:46.450
I'm writing you an open letter.

1204
00:50:49.832 --> 00:50:54.074
So the letter today writes, I have two partners.

1205
00:50:54.998 --> 00:50:57.020
And a third who wants to get serious.

1206
00:50:57.700 --> 00:51:02.424
But I am at capacity and I can't admit it without sounding heartless.

1207
00:51:03.265 --> 00:51:06.007
How do I tell someone I like you, but I'm full?

1208
00:51:07.088 --> 00:51:08.509
Girl, I do that shit every day.

1209
00:51:08.529 --> 00:51:12.392
I do it every day.

1210
00:51:12.412 --> 00:51:16.676
Up until this last situation, I don't know what happened, to be quite honest, if I'm being completely honest.

1211
00:51:16.696 --> 00:51:17.997
But that's how you got to say it.

1212
00:51:18.337 --> 00:51:23.922
When people are asking if you're already in a space and you feel like that your plate is already full...

1213
00:51:25.033 --> 00:51:26.354
You try to make that little room.

1214
00:51:26.494 --> 00:51:32.636
I don't know that they're necessarily going to be able to give anything.

1215
00:51:32.656 --> 00:51:34.517
Like, you're not going to have anything else to give.

1216
00:51:34.897 --> 00:51:38.099
Like, what else are you going to be able to give if you're already at full capacity?

1217
00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:38.619
You know what I mean?

1218
00:51:38.639 --> 00:51:44.461
Because I think about that with me, being a mom and then balancing, you know, multiple relationships and such.

1219
00:51:44.521 --> 00:51:51.164
It's like, but you may have, that may be a conversation that you need to have with the individual simply because, you know,

1220
00:51:51.384 --> 00:51:53.726
it may be a situation where they don't have a lot of time either.

1221
00:51:53.846 --> 00:51:57.929
I just want to say, they might be okay with whatever it is that you have left to give them.

1222
00:51:57.969 --> 00:52:00.951
And they might be looking for that small amount of time as well.

1223
00:52:00.971 --> 00:52:01.232
That's it.

1224
00:52:01.812 --> 00:52:03.673
And it may actually work out in your favor.

1225
00:52:03.773 --> 00:52:04.014
Right.

1226
00:52:04.254 --> 00:52:04.934
You know what I mean?

1227
00:52:05.014 --> 00:52:07.957
Unless you just sometimes, like, I'm an isolator when I recharge.

1228
00:52:07.997 --> 00:52:09.718
So I need to isolate to recharge.

1229
00:52:09.778 --> 00:52:12.600
Meaning, no, I don't want to be around you when I recharge.

1230
00:52:12.920 --> 00:52:13.721
I want to be by myself.

1231
00:52:13.981 --> 00:52:14.241
Right.

1232
00:52:15.082 --> 00:52:15.682
Excuse me.

1233
00:52:15.983 --> 00:52:18.645
So I think that it's just, once again, that communication word.

1234
00:52:18.665 --> 00:52:18.985
Mm-hmm.

1235
00:52:19.525 --> 00:52:20.946
It's just communication.

1236
00:52:20.966 --> 00:52:22.487
You know what I mean?

1237
00:52:22.908 --> 00:52:29.272
They stepped in knowing, especially if you were honest and upfront, they stepped in knowing what you have on your plate.

1238
00:52:29.933 --> 00:52:37.138
So by them knowing that, they should be more receptive to you saying to them, hey, listen, this is what it is that I got going on.

1239
00:52:37.618 --> 00:52:39.779
And I just, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it.

1240
00:52:40.060 --> 00:52:44.783
And if I were to think about it, this is what I can give you without depleting from me.

1241
00:52:46.465 --> 00:52:46.845
What about you?

1242
00:52:47.405 --> 00:52:51.427
Like you said, they knew what they were getting into.

1243
00:52:52.067 --> 00:53:05.432
And just because now you are having bigger emotions about it and now you want more, you want it to be more serious or more exclusive or whatever it is that they're looking for.

1244
00:53:05.452 --> 00:53:06.872
Right.

1245
00:53:07.872 --> 00:53:09.293
It doesn't mean that.

1246
00:53:11.207 --> 00:53:23.019
It's not fair to expect you to all of a sudden drop the connections that you have with the other people to make more room for whatever it is that they're looking for all of a sudden.

1247
00:53:23.540 --> 00:53:25.502
You knew what the dynamic was.

1248
00:53:25.522 --> 00:53:26.883
When you stepped in.

1249
00:53:27.044 --> 00:53:27.404
Right.

1250
00:53:27.444 --> 00:53:29.386
And so you know what my capacity has been.

1251
00:53:29.406 --> 00:53:30.968
So expecting more.

1252
00:53:34.059 --> 00:53:35.500
It's just the same way.

1253
00:53:35.700 --> 00:53:43.563
It's the same thing we were saying about thinking that you can fuck someone into submission or thinking that you can change the rules later.

1254
00:53:43.583 --> 00:53:44.344
Yeah.

1255
00:53:44.884 --> 00:53:45.604
And don't get me wrong.

1256
00:53:45.664 --> 00:53:46.505
Agreements change.

1257
00:53:46.565 --> 00:53:47.485
Boundaries change.

1258
00:53:47.565 --> 00:53:48.786
Conversations happen.

1259
00:53:48.846 --> 00:53:51.187
And, you know, things can grow over time.

1260
00:53:51.347 --> 00:53:55.369
And it's fair to have the conversation and say, hey, I'm feeling this way.

1261
00:53:55.389 --> 00:53:57.290
I feel like I want more from this.

1262
00:53:57.890 --> 00:53:58.790
But it's also...

1263
00:54:01.128 --> 00:54:04.551
It's only fair to respect them saying, hey, I'm full.

1264
00:54:05.792 --> 00:54:12.678
You know, I don't necessarily see me removing my other two situations right now.

1265
00:54:12.778 --> 00:54:23.407
I don't see me removing myself from those situations or putting less time into those situations to give you what it is that you're looking for all of a sudden.

1266
00:54:23.627 --> 00:54:23.927
Yes.

1267
00:54:24.788 --> 00:54:26.109
When you stepped in knowing what it was.

1268
00:54:26.369 --> 00:54:26.850
Exactly.

1269
00:54:26.910 --> 00:54:27.690
It's kind of unfair.

1270
00:54:28.171 --> 00:54:28.491
It is.

1271
00:54:28.591 --> 00:54:28.891
To...

1272
00:54:29.693 --> 00:54:38.976
Now, if they are just expressing that and just letting you know how they feel, but not necessarily pressuring you, cool.

1273
00:54:38.996 --> 00:54:42.256
But if they're giving you an ultimatum, I think you already know what your answer is.

1274
00:54:42.657 --> 00:54:43.177
Yeah.

1275
00:54:44.237 --> 00:54:48.018
And if it keeps coming up and being an ongoing conversation, then what would you suggest?

1276
00:54:49.022 --> 00:54:57.950
You have to let them go, you know, because unless they mean enough to you to let go of your other two situations.

1277
00:54:58.691 --> 00:55:06.458
I mean, I guess that does happen from time to time where this person means that much to you where you're like, OK, I'll compromise because I don't want to lose this person.

1278
00:55:06.478 --> 00:55:11.162
They are fulfilling me in ways that I've never been fulfilled before and it's worth it to me.

1279
00:55:12.040 --> 00:55:16.042
But your other people are fulfilling you in ways that's worth it to you also.

1280
00:55:16.102 --> 00:55:16.623
They are.

1281
00:55:16.643 --> 00:55:18.023
So then what?

1282
00:55:18.223 --> 00:55:22.386
Because now I'm going to be stuck with you and I'm going to build this resentment towards you.

1283
00:55:22.886 --> 00:55:25.027
So that's why I say it has to be worth it.

1284
00:55:25.407 --> 00:55:28.169
If you feel like you're going to have resentment, then it's not worth it.

1285
00:55:28.189 --> 00:55:30.270
It's not worth leaving those two other two people.

1286
00:55:31.891 --> 00:55:35.033
Like I said, they have to be providing something that's bigger than...

1287
00:55:36.150 --> 00:55:38.191
you know, whatever it is that you're already experiencing.

1288
00:55:38.251 --> 00:55:40.552
If not, then you're shortening yourself.

1289
00:55:40.632 --> 00:55:43.914
You're going to take the L just to fulfill this new need.

1290
00:55:44.834 --> 00:55:55.399
It's just, it's almost manipulating you into, like you knew that this was a situation from the jump, but now that you have bigger emotions, you want to manipulate me into basically getting what you wanted from the rip.

1291
00:55:55.779 --> 00:55:56.100
Yeah.

1292
00:55:56.640 --> 00:55:57.300
And that's not fair.

1293
00:55:57.680 --> 00:55:59.141
It's not whatsoever.

1294
00:55:59.401 --> 00:55:59.681
Yeah.

1295
00:55:59.721 --> 00:56:00.562
I say, um,

1296
00:56:01.709 --> 00:56:02.951
Stay true to who you are.

1297
00:56:03.411 --> 00:56:04.893
Live in your truth.

1298
00:56:04.913 --> 00:56:05.213
Okay.

1299
00:56:05.233 --> 00:56:05.734
Whatever it is.

1300
00:56:05.774 --> 00:56:06.995
Live in your truth.

1301
00:56:07.015 --> 00:56:08.137
What matters to you most.

1302
00:56:08.958 --> 00:56:09.178
Yeah.

1303
00:56:09.680 --> 00:56:35.033
maintaining the connections that you have are they valuable enough to you to say i gotta stand my ground on this i can't i can't pull i care about all y'all yeah i care about all these individuals and i'm not gonna be able to yep the time that i get them yeah and i don't have any capacity to give any more anything additional to you right now or full time yeah you know what i mean yeah like because i don't want things to feel like a job or chore yeah

1304
00:56:35.914 --> 00:56:39.978
Once it starts feeling like a chore, the resentment is definitely going to follow.

1305
00:56:40.159 --> 00:56:41.340
Yes, absolutely.

1306
00:56:41.720 --> 00:56:48.327
Some evaluating will have to be done, and I think you know what your answer is.

1307
00:56:48.507 --> 00:56:49.548
Yep, I agree.

1308
00:56:50.589 --> 00:56:51.770
And I hope that that helped.

1309
00:56:52.831 --> 00:56:53.312
Let us know.

1310
00:56:55.928 --> 00:56:59.110
Well, it's been another awesome episode.

1311
00:56:59.130 --> 00:56:59.330
I agree.

1312
00:56:59.350 --> 00:57:00.790
Kicking it with you, heartthrobs.

1313
00:57:01.591 --> 00:57:02.831
We love you guys.

1314
00:57:04.092 --> 00:57:05.032
Yes, yes, yes.

1315
00:57:05.413 --> 00:57:11.796
And if this has, you know, touched you in any way, make sure you like, share, and subscribe.

1316
00:57:12.916 --> 00:57:15.197
And send those open letters on over.

1317
00:57:15.577 --> 00:57:20.780
Yes, we would love to hear what's going on in your life and see if it's something we can learn from or if we can help in any way.

1318
00:57:21.305 --> 00:57:26.130
And be sure to tune in next week because it is the sex episode.

1319
00:57:26.150 --> 00:57:28.032
Ooh, the one you've been waiting for.

1320
00:57:28.332 --> 00:57:29.574
Yep, I think so.

1321
00:57:29.894 --> 00:57:30.815
Until next time.

1322
00:57:30.855 --> 00:57:31.876
See you later.

1323
00:57:32.357 --> 00:57:33.518
See you later.

1324
00:57:33.638 --> 00:57:34.759
Multiple loves.

1325
00:57:35.860 --> 00:57:39.043
One conversation is triple hearts.