WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.360 I think one of the scariest things is feeling out of control. 2 00:00:03.360 --> 00:00:05.040 That is always like the most frightening to me, 3 00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:07.680 because I'd like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. 4 00:00:07.680 --> 00:00:09.880 That's why defining the terms was so important to me 5 00:00:09.880 --> 00:00:11.280 so that I could know how to solve it. 6 00:00:13.680 --> 00:00:15.960 The wealthiest people in the world see business as a game. 7 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:17.520 This podcast, the game is my attempt 8 00:00:17.520 --> 00:00:18.880 at documenting the lessons I've learned 9 00:00:18.880 --> 00:00:20.440 on my way to building acquisition.com 10 00:00:20.440 --> 00:00:22.040 into a billion dollar portfolio. 11 00:00:22.040 --> 00:00:23.840 My hope is that you use the lessons to grow your business 12 00:00:23.840 --> 00:00:25.240 and maybe someday soon partner with us 13 00:00:25.240 --> 00:00:26.680 to get $200 million in beyond. 14 00:00:26.680 --> 00:00:27.960 I hope you share and enjoy. 15 00:00:30.440 --> 00:00:32.240 If I struggle with something, it usually means 16 00:00:32.240 --> 00:00:33.840 that I don't understand it well enough. 17 00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:36.760 And so I spend a lot of time trying to define terms 18 00:00:36.760 --> 00:00:39.440 in ways that I can actually do something about them. 19 00:00:39.440 --> 00:00:41.640 And so sadness comes from a lack of options, 20 00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:43.840 which is why it feels like hopelessness. 21 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:45.840 Anxiety comes from many options, 22 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:49.240 but a lack of priorities, which is why it feels like paralysis, 23 00:00:49.240 --> 00:00:51.560 looking everywhere, but moving nowhere. 24 00:00:51.560 --> 00:00:55.720 And so you solve sadness with knowledge and anxiety 25 00:00:55.720 --> 00:00:57.000 with a decision. 26 00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:59.000 And so if you don't know what to do, 27 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:00.800 you have to find out what to do. 28 00:01:00.800 --> 00:01:02.800 If you have too many things to do, 29 00:01:02.800 --> 00:01:04.920 you have to make a commitment by deciding 30 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:07.400 of all the paths, this is the one I will choose. 31 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:11.600 And so decision-solving anxiety, knowledge, solve sadness. 32 00:01:11.600 --> 00:01:14.840 I don't genuinely, I don't experience sadness a ton. 33 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:16.640 And so if I feel it, I'm like, this is weird. 34 00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:17.840 Why do I feel this? 35 00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:19.720 And so trying to get to the root cause of like, 36 00:01:19.720 --> 00:01:21.720 why do I feel sadness right now? 37 00:01:21.720 --> 00:01:24.720 I feel sadness because I don't know what to do. 38 00:01:24.720 --> 00:01:27.560 I feel sadness because I don't know what to do. 39 00:01:27.560 --> 00:01:28.920 And so if I don't know what to do, 40 00:01:28.920 --> 00:01:32.120 it means that I feel like I have no action that I can take. 41 00:01:32.120 --> 00:01:33.480 And as somebody who is predisposed 42 00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:35.240 to taking action pretty well, 43 00:01:35.240 --> 00:01:37.080 that's not a common feeling for me. 44 00:01:37.080 --> 00:01:38.520 But then it was like, okay, well, 45 00:01:38.520 --> 00:01:41.800 then I have to figure out what actions I have available to me 46 00:01:41.800 --> 00:01:42.960 and then I can move forward. 47 00:01:42.960 --> 00:01:46.520 But then even the idea that I had to find out 48 00:01:46.520 --> 00:01:49.280 what actions I had gave me the first action to take, 49 00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.200 they got me stopped feeling sad. 50 00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:53.680 I mean, the real real was that it was not that long ago 51 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:55.920 because I was thinking about what direction to take acquisition.com, 52 00:01:55.920 --> 00:01:58.080 like from our investment perspective. 53 00:01:58.080 --> 00:02:01.280 I was like, I felt like handcuffed in a lot of ways 54 00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:04.240 or I'm like, I just don't know what to do. 55 00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:06.160 Cause I have like, I have this brand here. 56 00:02:06.160 --> 00:02:07.480 I have this investment thesis 57 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:09.440 that I started prior to my brand. 58 00:02:09.440 --> 00:02:12.280 But I like to stick with things for a long time. 59 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:15.320 On the other hand, I like to take in new data 60 00:02:15.320 --> 00:02:16.840 that affects the overall equation. 61 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:19.200 And so it was kind of conflicting 62 00:02:19.200 --> 00:02:21.120 two different values that I have 63 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:23.520 being consistent but also being malleable. 64 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:25.920 And it was basically me trying to walk through that 65 00:02:25.920 --> 00:02:28.080 and figure out what to do. 66 00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:29.720 At the time, I didn't feel like I had any 67 00:02:29.720 --> 00:02:31.040 because I was like, what am I supposed to do? 68 00:02:31.040 --> 00:02:32.520 And then the first objective was like, 69 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:34.280 figure out what my options are. 70 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:36.240 And then, cause like, anxiety's like, 71 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:37.280 you already have all these options. 72 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.240 Cause like, you can move from sadness to anxiety. 73 00:02:39.240 --> 00:02:41.120 So you don't have any options 74 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:42.280 then you figure out all your options 75 00:02:42.280 --> 00:02:44.480 and then you feel anxious, but no longer sad. 76 00:02:44.480 --> 00:02:45.960 So I think that's why people cycle back 77 00:02:45.960 --> 00:02:47.560 and forth between those things. 78 00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:49.480 Fundamentally, if you were trying to, quote, 79 00:02:49.600 --> 00:02:52.040 discover options, then you have to gain knowledge. 80 00:02:52.040 --> 00:02:54.640 And so you gain knowledge through the way 81 00:02:54.640 --> 00:02:55.800 that you are most efficient at. 82 00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:57.480 Some people read, some people watch videos, 83 00:02:57.480 --> 00:02:58.880 some people listen to podcasts, 84 00:02:58.880 --> 00:03:00.000 some people have conversations. 85 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.520 Me personally, I tend to talk to people. 86 00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:03.640 I'm a verbal processor. 87 00:03:03.640 --> 00:03:05.360 And so I mean, my team knows it. 88 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.200 Like I have a lot of, I don't want to say 89 00:03:07.200 --> 00:03:09.000 like junk conversations, but basically, 90 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:11.400 I play things out out loud in front of people 91 00:03:11.400 --> 00:03:13.960 and then nine times out of 10, none of that's going to happen. 92 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:16.600 But I like having the, the sounding board. 93 00:03:16.600 --> 00:03:17.920 And that's how I process through things 94 00:03:18.320 --> 00:03:20.840 with other people and also getting expert opinions 95 00:03:20.840 --> 00:03:23.160 of people who've been there or know somebody who has 96 00:03:23.160 --> 00:03:24.600 so that they can give me some insights 97 00:03:24.600 --> 00:03:26.600 that I might not be aware of yet. 98 00:03:26.600 --> 00:03:30.560 So I knew a business owner who was getting threatened 99 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:34.360 by his wife to sell his company 100 00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:39.360 and it's actually happened a handful of times, unfortunately. 101 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:41.240 And so it's very, basically like, 102 00:03:41.240 --> 00:03:44.120 you have to choose me or you have to choose the business. 103 00:03:44.120 --> 00:03:49.120 And the guy usually feels like he doesn't know what to do 104 00:03:49.600 --> 00:03:51.800 and that's super soul crushing 105 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:53.160 because you're like, man, there's this thing 106 00:03:53.160 --> 00:03:55.640 that I really care about, which is my wife and my family. 107 00:03:55.640 --> 00:03:57.600 And then I have this other thing that I really care about, 108 00:03:57.600 --> 00:03:58.680 which is my business. 109 00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:00.880 And then somebody's making an ultimatum, 110 00:04:00.880 --> 00:04:03.320 you have to pick, which is like basically 111 00:04:03.320 --> 00:04:05.080 dying to one side of yourself. 112 00:04:05.080 --> 00:04:08.680 And so that's an example of like not knowing what to do, 113 00:04:08.680 --> 00:04:10.040 like doesn't know the options 114 00:04:10.040 --> 00:04:12.160 or doesn't see a good option in front of them. 115 00:04:12.160 --> 00:04:14.360 And I think that would qualify in my opinion. 116 00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:17.320 Like you might, sure, but that's usually why 117 00:04:17.320 --> 00:04:19.920 when people feel like there's no way out, 118 00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:21.600 that's why people get depressed. 119 00:04:21.600 --> 00:04:23.760 They don't, they can't, because there's always an option. 120 00:04:23.760 --> 00:04:25.040 You can always end it, right? 121 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:27.560 Like there's always an option, right? 122 00:04:27.560 --> 00:04:29.320 And so it's just there isn't a good option one, 123 00:04:29.320 --> 00:04:30.920 but people want, when they run out of 124 00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:32.360 what they perceive is good options 125 00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:35.800 is when the sadness just starts spiraling in my opinion. 126 00:04:35.800 --> 00:04:38.240 I think he was breaking it down into chunks 127 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:39.920 and saying like, these are not absolutes, 128 00:04:40.760 --> 00:04:44.080 these are not halftos, these are just choices 129 00:04:44.080 --> 00:04:45.560 and they have trade-offs. 130 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:49.360 And then there's the scene in suits, which is a TV show. 131 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:51.640 They said if somebody points a gun to your head, 132 00:04:51.640 --> 00:04:54.080 it's not that you have no, like one option. 133 00:04:54.080 --> 00:04:55.960 It's like there's 147 things you can do 134 00:04:55.960 --> 00:04:56.880 in that exact moment. 135 00:04:56.880 --> 00:04:58.400 It's like you can duck, you can block, 136 00:04:58.400 --> 00:05:00.040 you can punch them, you can try and take the gun, 137 00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:01.280 you can do whatever you set. 138 00:05:01.280 --> 00:05:03.280 There's a lot of different things that you can do. 139 00:05:03.280 --> 00:05:06.960 And so I love that frame of like there's 147 things 140 00:05:06.960 --> 00:05:10.480 that we can do from what is perceived to be a bad option. 141 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:13.240 And so usually also to the same degree, 142 00:05:13.240 --> 00:05:14.560 the wife or the partner or the spouse 143 00:05:14.560 --> 00:05:16.160 or whoever is making this quote threat 144 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:18.600 because it is that, it's do this or else. 145 00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:20.640 Usually it's because they don't have the skills 146 00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:23.200 to know that there's another way to accomplish their objective 147 00:05:23.200 --> 00:05:24.920 because what does that person really want? 148 00:05:24.920 --> 00:05:27.000 They don't actually want the person to end their business. 149 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:29.200 They want something else because like they don't actually, 150 00:05:29.200 --> 00:05:31.880 like the business owner ending his business 151 00:05:31.880 --> 00:05:33.440 doesn't actually do anything. 152 00:05:33.440 --> 00:05:36.880 They hope that it then creates a secondary effect 153 00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:40.520 which is also a really loose connection to get what they want. 154 00:05:40.520 --> 00:05:42.720 So simply saying like, what are you most afraid of 155 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:44.000 and what do you want most? 156 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:47.440 tend to get what way more to or what do you want to avoid the most? 157 00:05:47.440 --> 00:05:49.320 I mean, that's the fear, right? 158 00:05:49.320 --> 00:05:50.520 Gets to the heart of the matter 159 00:05:50.520 --> 00:05:53.040 and it might just be like, I want you to be home more. 160 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:55.160 Okay, well then I can just work from home. 161 00:05:55.160 --> 00:05:56.280 Does that solve it? 162 00:05:56.280 --> 00:05:58.200 And it's like, well no, I want you to pay more attention to me. 163 00:05:58.200 --> 00:06:00.360 It's like, okay, those are different things. 164 00:06:00.360 --> 00:06:02.360 What if I leave, but when I come back, 165 00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:04.600 I spend two hours without my phone with you. 166 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:07.400 Would that solve your concern, right? 167 00:06:07.400 --> 00:06:09.920 And then you might, you know, or he might say yes. 168 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:12.280 And so I think it's just getting more dialed to, 169 00:06:12.280 --> 00:06:14.520 and this is the best frame that I can give 170 00:06:14.520 --> 00:06:16.360 when it comes to anxiety, sadness, 171 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:19.440 or really like any big decision that I have to make, 172 00:06:19.440 --> 00:06:23.160 is I think, what am I going to change about what I do? 173 00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:24.520 So a lot of people want to, like, 174 00:06:24.520 --> 00:06:26.160 they think in theories and concepts, 175 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.840 but it gets really hard to, like, what am I going to do? 176 00:06:28.840 --> 00:06:30.360 So you want me to end my, but like, cool. 177 00:06:30.360 --> 00:06:31.200 You want me to end the business, 178 00:06:31.200 --> 00:06:32.800 but what's going to change about my behavior? 179 00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:35.280 What do, what do you want me to do 180 00:06:35.280 --> 00:06:37.440 as a result of this happening? 181 00:06:37.440 --> 00:06:38.960 And so then you can get way more like, 182 00:06:38.960 --> 00:06:41.680 if you just said hi to me and buy to me 183 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:44.080 and remembered my birthday and, you know, came to it, 184 00:06:44.080 --> 00:06:47.320 like just, you know, do I have to come to every kids practice? 185 00:06:47.320 --> 00:06:48.920 No, just, just want a week. 186 00:06:48.920 --> 00:06:50.760 Okay, like, what do you want me to do? 187 00:06:50.760 --> 00:06:52.440 And then that just gets it way clear 188 00:06:52.440 --> 00:06:53.840 and it takes all the emotion out of it 189 00:06:53.840 --> 00:06:54.680 because you just get to say, 190 00:06:54.680 --> 00:06:58.320 what actions do you want me to act upon? 191 00:06:58.320 --> 00:07:00.720 And then it just gets, the conversation gets so much simpler 192 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:02.760 because it's not, you don't have to deal with intentions. 193 00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:04.120 You, you meant to do this. 194 00:07:04.120 --> 00:07:05.120 This was bad. 195 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:06.320 You're like, it takes out judgment. 196 00:07:06.320 --> 00:07:07.480 It takes out intention. 197 00:07:07.480 --> 00:07:08.800 It's just we want. 198 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:10.000 We want me to do. 199 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.160 I think one of the, one of my other favorite frames 200 00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:14.120 of thinking through these things is, 201 00:07:14.120 --> 00:07:16.200 which problem would I rather have? 202 00:07:16.200 --> 00:07:18.600 Because I clearly have a problem right now 203 00:07:18.600 --> 00:07:20.600 and I'm afraid of a different problem, 204 00:07:20.600 --> 00:07:22.480 which is why I may be presented with this one. 205 00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:23.920 But when you actually just start spelling out 206 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:26.880 the downside effects of how it's going to again, 207 00:07:26.880 --> 00:07:29.480 affect your actions, not your perspectives, 208 00:07:29.480 --> 00:07:31.120 because if it's only going to affect your mind space 209 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:33.920 and I'd be like, well, then change your mind, right? 210 00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:35.040 If it's going to affect behavior, 211 00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.440 then you can outline what behavior is. 212 00:07:36.440 --> 00:07:38.240 And I'll tell you years ago, 213 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.720 I was in a lawsuit around something 214 00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:44.080 that I was supposed to have made a material amount of money on. 215 00:07:44.080 --> 00:07:46.320 And we ended up winning the suit, 216 00:07:46.320 --> 00:07:49.880 but it was, when it happened, I thought to myself, 217 00:07:49.880 --> 00:07:53.960 okay, what is going to change about what I do in my life? 218 00:07:53.960 --> 00:07:55.520 And I was like, well, in either direction, 219 00:07:55.520 --> 00:07:57.680 because I was working more at this individual 220 00:07:57.680 --> 00:07:59.200 in this business endeavor, I was like, 221 00:07:59.200 --> 00:08:01.560 in either case, I'm going to be doing less work 222 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:03.480 because I'm no longer working with them. 223 00:08:03.480 --> 00:08:05.000 So I'm going to work less. 224 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:08.480 And so I either work less and get and don't get paid, 225 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:11.000 or I work less and I get paid. 226 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:12.840 So either these scenarios are not that bad. 227 00:08:12.840 --> 00:08:14.600 It's all of the judgment and emotions 228 00:08:14.600 --> 00:08:17.640 around what I should have gotten, what I deserved, X, Y, and Z, 229 00:08:17.640 --> 00:08:19.480 that create all the stress around it. 230 00:08:19.480 --> 00:08:21.160 But if someone said, hey, do you want to just work less 231 00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:23.440 and not get paid for something 232 00:08:23.440 --> 00:08:24.880 that you already haven't gotten paid for? 233 00:08:24.880 --> 00:08:28.560 I would be like, okay, like it's not that bad of a scenario. 234 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:31.640 And so just boiling the big amorphous ideas 235 00:08:31.640 --> 00:08:33.680 down to what changes about your behavior a day to day 236 00:08:33.680 --> 00:08:35.680 is like, is it going to affect how I spend money? 237 00:08:35.680 --> 00:08:38.160 No, I'm still young, I'm still married, 238 00:08:38.160 --> 00:08:40.160 I'm still healthy, and I'm still rich. 239 00:08:40.160 --> 00:08:41.400 Like it doesn't change anything. 240 00:08:41.400 --> 00:08:43.200 Okay, well, then why am I worried about it? 241 00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:44.360 I'm not. 242 00:08:44.360 --> 00:08:47.080 And the flip side is a lot of people cast judgment 243 00:08:47.080 --> 00:08:48.800 on stress itself. 244 00:08:48.800 --> 00:08:51.240 And they see stress as a bad thing. 245 00:08:51.240 --> 00:08:54.800 Stress is just a part of the human condition. 246 00:08:54.800 --> 00:08:57.760 Because you want to know who isn't stressed? 247 00:08:57.760 --> 00:08:59.440 Dead people. 248 00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:01.920 Until the moment you die, you can always endure it. 249 00:09:01.920 --> 00:09:03.800 And once you die, you won't have to. 250 00:09:03.800 --> 00:09:05.920 Stress means that you are still breathing, 251 00:09:05.920 --> 00:09:08.120 which means it's something we can be grateful for. 252 00:09:08.120 --> 00:09:09.680 So you have to get used to it. 253 00:09:09.680 --> 00:09:11.520 And so like the only time you're ever not stressed 254 00:09:11.520 --> 00:09:12.760 is if you're dead. 255 00:09:12.760 --> 00:09:14.840 Because you have no ability to be stressed. 256 00:09:14.840 --> 00:09:17.760 And it's just a hormonal reaction 257 00:09:17.760 --> 00:09:20.400 to get you to do something, to change behavior. 258 00:09:20.400 --> 00:09:21.720 And fundamentally, you think about hormones 259 00:09:21.720 --> 00:09:23.160 as just triggers for behaviors. 260 00:09:23.160 --> 00:09:25.120 Then it gets a lot simpler to say, okay, 261 00:09:25.120 --> 00:09:27.160 this hormone triggered behavior in the past, 262 00:09:27.160 --> 00:09:29.160 which made it conducive to me staying alive. 263 00:09:29.160 --> 00:09:31.160 Does it necessarily mean that it's helpful for me 264 00:09:31.160 --> 00:09:33.160 to live the life that I want to live? 265 00:09:33.160 --> 00:09:34.400 Yes or no, I don't know. 266 00:09:34.400 --> 00:09:35.680 But at least thinking through that 267 00:09:35.680 --> 00:09:37.480 and just boiling it down to, 268 00:09:37.480 --> 00:09:39.520 what am I going to change about what I do? 269 00:09:39.520 --> 00:09:41.280 Makes it a lot easier to manage these things. 270 00:09:41.280 --> 00:09:42.680 Because you just don't have this extra. 271 00:09:42.680 --> 00:09:44.760 The secondary dialogue is where everyone gets in trouble. 272 00:09:44.760 --> 00:09:46.440 Like, I'm stressed. 273 00:09:46.440 --> 00:09:47.680 Nothing wrong with that. 274 00:09:47.680 --> 00:09:48.520 I'm stressed. 275 00:09:48.520 --> 00:09:50.400 Therefore, I'm a bad person. 276 00:09:50.400 --> 00:09:51.560 I have problems. 277 00:09:51.560 --> 00:09:53.720 I have, you know, insert medical label 278 00:09:53.720 --> 00:09:55.720 that they want to give me so they can prescribe me drugs. 279 00:09:55.720 --> 00:09:58.680 Like, that, in my opinion, is the issue, 280 00:09:58.680 --> 00:10:00.440 not the stress itself. 281 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:01.560 It's funny, because like Layla and I 282 00:10:01.560 --> 00:10:02.640 sit on opposite sides of the pole. 283 00:10:02.640 --> 00:10:06.720 Like, Layla has a pension for anxiety and action. 284 00:10:06.720 --> 00:10:08.320 I have a pension for like laziness 285 00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:10.160 and not doing anything. 286 00:10:10.160 --> 00:10:12.320 And so we work well together 287 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:14.520 because I, I can balance, like, 288 00:10:14.520 --> 00:10:17.120 I'm really just not that stressed that often. 289 00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:19.840 And that's because my baseline is always death. 290 00:10:19.840 --> 00:10:21.360 I'm like, I'm alive. 291 00:10:21.360 --> 00:10:23.840 And if I died, I've been dead before. 292 00:10:23.840 --> 00:10:25.600 So, and it wasn't that bad. 293 00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:28.720 So, if you're wondering why I say I've been dead before, 294 00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:30.400 everyone's been dead before. 295 00:10:30.400 --> 00:10:31.680 Being dead, you weren't alive. 296 00:10:31.680 --> 00:10:33.080 Have you been not been alive before? 297 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:35.040 Pretty much all years except for the years of your life. 298 00:10:35.040 --> 00:10:36.760 And so I was dead before I was alive. 299 00:10:36.760 --> 00:10:38.080 And I'll be dead after I was alive. 300 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:40.400 And so, in both instances, 301 00:10:40.400 --> 00:10:42.160 didn't bug me last time. 302 00:10:42.160 --> 00:10:43.720 That's how I see it. 303 00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:45.320 I think a lot of people have negative relationships 304 00:10:45.320 --> 00:10:47.920 with stress because they were told that it's bad. 305 00:10:47.920 --> 00:10:49.320 I like someone early on in your, 306 00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:52.440 it's crazy how much the first exposure 307 00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:55.680 to a new thing, the label that someone gives you 308 00:10:55.680 --> 00:10:58.000 of good or bad around whatever that behavior 309 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:01.240 or feeling or condition or circumstance is, 310 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:05.200 then determines how you think about it for years and years 311 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:06.040 and years. 312 00:11:06.040 --> 00:11:07.480 I remember, I'll tell you a funny one. 313 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:11.240 My mom has always tried to like be in shape 314 00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:12.960 and lose weight and just start with that for years. 315 00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:18.040 And I remember when I was super young, like, you know, 10-ish. 316 00:11:18.040 --> 00:11:19.680 I was just getting into fitness 317 00:11:19.680 --> 00:11:21.200 and she was like, you should curl soup cans. 318 00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:22.560 I was like, curl soup cans in the kitchen 319 00:11:22.560 --> 00:11:24.480 because I didn't know and she didn't know anybody either. 320 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:26.680 And she was like, she was taking this thing 321 00:11:26.680 --> 00:11:28.160 and she said, chromium picolinate on it. 322 00:11:28.160 --> 00:11:29.160 And I was like, what's that? 323 00:11:29.160 --> 00:11:30.600 And she was like, oh, like, help people with muscle. 324 00:11:30.600 --> 00:11:32.280 And I was like, okay. 325 00:11:32.280 --> 00:11:37.080 And I remember when I was 24 years later, 326 00:11:37.080 --> 00:11:39.040 I'm already a state record holder. 327 00:11:39.040 --> 00:11:41.000 I own gyms, I have like, 328 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:44.600 and I remember thinking, oh, chromium picolinate, 329 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:46.360 that's that thing that makes muscle. 330 00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:49.240 But I know that that's BS. 331 00:11:49.240 --> 00:11:52.560 But I remembered my first instinct, deeply being, 332 00:11:52.560 --> 00:11:54.000 oh, this is that thing that builds muscle 333 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:55.800 because the first, and I was like, why do I, 334 00:11:55.800 --> 00:11:56.640 why do I think that? 335 00:11:56.640 --> 00:11:58.080 I know this is BS. 336 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:00.240 Because the first time it was ever introduced to me, 337 00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:01.760 it was from an authority figure 338 00:12:01.760 --> 00:12:03.200 who was the only source of information 339 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:04.840 that I had at the time around fitness 340 00:12:04.840 --> 00:12:06.880 and they set it builds muscle. 341 00:12:06.880 --> 00:12:08.800 And so that was the association I made. 342 00:12:08.800 --> 00:12:10.520 And so I carried that unknowingly 343 00:12:10.520 --> 00:12:12.400 until I was made aware of it, 344 00:12:12.400 --> 00:12:14.360 when I, like, when I basically made myself aware of it 345 00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:17.760 at 24, having now coached thousands of people 346 00:12:17.760 --> 00:12:20.160 on wheelos and supplements and all these things. 347 00:12:20.160 --> 00:12:22.320 I just, that specific one, because it's so niche, 348 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:23.560 I hadn't really thought about it, 349 00:12:23.560 --> 00:12:25.840 and I hadn't revisited my definition on it. 350 00:12:27.960 --> 00:12:29.120 Real quick, guys, if you can think about 351 00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:30.680 how you found this podcast, 352 00:12:30.680 --> 00:12:33.200 somebody probably tweeted it, told you about it, 353 00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:35.440 shared it on Instagram, or something like that. 354 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:37.880 The only way this grows is through word of mouth. 355 00:12:37.880 --> 00:12:40.160 And so I don't run ads, I don't do sponsorships, 356 00:12:40.160 --> 00:12:41.160 I don't sell anything. 357 00:12:41.160 --> 00:12:43.520 My only ask is that you continue to pay it forward, 358 00:12:43.520 --> 00:12:45.280 whoever showed you or however you found out 359 00:12:45.280 --> 00:12:47.440 about this podcast that you do the exact same thing. 360 00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:49.960 So if it was a review, if it was a post, 361 00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:51.320 if you do that, it would mean the world to me, 362 00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:52.480 and you'll throw some good karma out there 363 00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:53.480 for another entrepreneur. 364 00:12:55.200 --> 00:12:59.680 And so I think a lot of people act the same way with stress, 365 00:12:59.680 --> 00:13:01.800 is that, like, they were told at a young age 366 00:13:01.800 --> 00:13:04.720 that this is bad, rather than it means you're alive. 367 00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:07.560 Investigating believes is super tough, because you believe them. 368 00:13:07.560 --> 00:13:09.040 So that's why my favorite quote of all time, 369 00:13:09.040 --> 00:13:11.520 that'll probably be on my Tim Stone is from, 370 00:13:11.520 --> 00:13:14.200 what's this, Orson Scott Cart says, 371 00:13:14.200 --> 00:13:15.120 we question all of our beliefs, 372 00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:16.200 except for those that we truly believe 373 00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:17.760 and those we never think to question. 374 00:13:17.760 --> 00:13:18.920 That's my rendition of it, I think, 375 00:13:18.920 --> 00:13:19.760 because it's a little bit different, 376 00:13:19.760 --> 00:13:20.920 but I like that way better. 377 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:22.920 So that's my quote. 378 00:13:23.880 --> 00:13:25.600 And I think, because that's the real real, 379 00:13:25.600 --> 00:13:27.680 it's like, we question all of our beliefs, 380 00:13:27.680 --> 00:13:29.640 except for the ones that we really believe. 381 00:13:29.640 --> 00:13:32.080 And it kind of in a way like the partisanship 382 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:34.120 of society right now with politics, 383 00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:36.040 people like really believe. 384 00:13:36.040 --> 00:13:37.880 And it's like you can trick, 385 00:13:37.880 --> 00:13:39.200 like you can really short circuit people 386 00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:42.800 by having an article written where they read it 387 00:13:42.800 --> 00:13:45.160 about the opposing party of like all the things 388 00:13:45.160 --> 00:13:46.680 that that person has done wrong. 389 00:13:46.680 --> 00:13:47.760 And then you just swap the title 390 00:13:47.760 --> 00:13:49.640 and tell them about, it's about their candidate. 391 00:13:49.640 --> 00:13:53.280 And then like watch their brain trying rationalize 392 00:13:53.280 --> 00:13:55.920 because it's so deeply ingrained in their identity, 393 00:13:55.920 --> 00:13:57.120 because they believe it. 394 00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:59.640 And so I try to be really careful about things that like, 395 00:13:59.640 --> 00:14:01.480 if I try to rationalize around something, 396 00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:04.640 then I know it's pretty deep in my belief system. 397 00:14:04.640 --> 00:14:06.920 I knew that all these other supplements were BS. 398 00:14:06.920 --> 00:14:09.280 And I also knew from many other years 399 00:14:09.280 --> 00:14:10.840 of iterations and learning that it was, 400 00:14:10.840 --> 00:14:13.840 I just hadn't actually hit like I had this big wall of data 401 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:15.720 that hit this one little pocket of knowledge 402 00:14:15.720 --> 00:14:17.600 because it's such a niche weird supplement. 403 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:18.960 If you've been creating, you know, 404 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:20.720 I probably heard about creating 100 times protein, 405 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:22.000 whatever, I'd heard tons of it. 406 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:23.800 But this one was so niche that I had never 407 00:14:23.800 --> 00:14:26.680 poked at this little hole of ignorance. 408 00:14:26.680 --> 00:14:28.120 So the action set that I have is 409 00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:29.960 what's my second line of dialogue? 410 00:14:29.960 --> 00:14:32.160 So there's something that happens 411 00:14:32.160 --> 00:14:33.760 and then it's the line of dialogue that happens 412 00:14:33.760 --> 00:14:34.600 on top of it. 413 00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:36.080 It's like I am angry. 414 00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:37.760 If you then feel guilty about your anger 415 00:14:37.760 --> 00:14:39.040 or for angry about your anger 416 00:14:39.040 --> 00:14:40.840 or for feel frustrated or strut, 417 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:44.240 it's the secondary judgment on the primary reaction. 418 00:14:44.240 --> 00:14:46.040 Like that's where people spin out and get in trouble. 419 00:14:46.040 --> 00:14:48.560 They upgrade their problems to much bigger problems. 420 00:14:48.560 --> 00:14:51.440 Like if you get angry and then get angry about your anger, 421 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:53.720 you exponentialize the problem in your life 422 00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:54.760 whereas on the flip side, 423 00:14:54.760 --> 00:14:57.920 if you had a secondary line of code or language 424 00:14:57.920 --> 00:15:00.840 that was just like, I am angry. 425 00:15:00.840 --> 00:15:03.000 Huh, why is that? 426 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:05.000 And just asking why rather than judging, 427 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:07.840 what the, like, because I think one of the scariest things 428 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.600 is feeling out of control. 429 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:13.640 And so when, if I feel an emotion 430 00:15:13.640 --> 00:15:15.440 and I don't know why I feel that way, 431 00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:17.120 that is always like the most frightening to me 432 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:20.320 because I like to, I like to know why I'm feeling 433 00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:21.200 a certain way. 434 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:23.400 And so that's why defining the terms 435 00:15:23.400 --> 00:15:26.360 is so important to me so that I can know how to solve it. 436 00:15:26.360 --> 00:15:28.640 Rather than this is good or bad. 437 00:15:28.640 --> 00:15:31.240 But it's like, I'm horny, I'm tired, I'm angry, 438 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:33.120 I'm hungry, it's sunny, it's rainy. 439 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:37.080 Like these are just conditions that we can live with 440 00:15:37.080 --> 00:15:39.280 until you die and they don't have to live with them anymore. 441 00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:40.960 Listen, you're gonna lose sleep, 442 00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:42.600 you'll doubt whether it'll work, 443 00:15:42.600 --> 00:15:44.120 you'll stress to make ends meet, 444 00:15:44.120 --> 00:15:45.640 you won't finish your to-do list, 445 00:15:45.640 --> 00:15:47.600 you'll wonder if you made the right call 446 00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:49.840 and have no way to know for years. 447 00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.120 This is what hard feels like and that's okay. 448 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:54.960 And so I remember there was this moment, 449 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:56.280 and this is like the moment 450 00:15:56.280 --> 00:15:58.760 where this is what hard feels like became real for me, 451 00:15:58.760 --> 00:16:02.520 was I pledged a fraternity way back in the day 452 00:16:02.520 --> 00:16:04.320 and every, and in my, you know, 453 00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:06.720 pledge class at day 14, it's just two weeks in, 454 00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:07.920 there was this big revolt where like, 455 00:16:07.920 --> 00:16:09.440 this isn't what we sign up for, 456 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:12.280 like this is BS, like blah, blah, we hate this, et cetera, 457 00:16:12.280 --> 00:16:13.680 like this needs to end. 458 00:16:13.680 --> 00:16:15.440 And so anyways, the brothers came, 459 00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:17.240 they sat us down and we got through it. 460 00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:19.520 Now fast forward a year or two, I was president 461 00:16:19.520 --> 00:16:20.680 and I was on the other side 462 00:16:20.680 --> 00:16:24.120 and the pledge class that we had revolted at two weeks in. 463 00:16:24.120 --> 00:16:25.040 And believe it or not, 464 00:16:25.040 --> 00:16:28.520 that happened with every single pledge class without any knowledge 465 00:16:28.520 --> 00:16:30.920 that every other pledge class had done this. 466 00:16:30.920 --> 00:16:34.080 And what it was was a resetting of expectations 467 00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:35.240 around reality. 468 00:16:35.240 --> 00:16:36.960 And so I remember sitting down this class 469 00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:38.560 was kind of funny because they wanted to meet on home field. 470 00:16:38.560 --> 00:16:41.080 So I went to the freshman campus in one of the dorm rooms 471 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:41.920 where all the guys are there. 472 00:16:41.920 --> 00:16:45.520 So it's like 18 dudes and like me and like my, my, my VP. 473 00:16:45.520 --> 00:16:48.280 And so it's like they have the numbers, you know what I mean? 474 00:16:48.280 --> 00:16:50.840 And, and so I was like, okay, guys, 475 00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:52.720 I was like, when before any of this happened, 476 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:54.760 I was like, who here wanted to be a brother here? 477 00:16:54.760 --> 00:16:55.600 And they all raised it. 478 00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:57.280 I was like, okay, cool. 479 00:16:57.280 --> 00:17:01.360 I was like, who here thought it was going to be easy 480 00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:02.680 and then no one raised their hand. 481 00:17:02.680 --> 00:17:03.520 I was like, right. 482 00:17:03.520 --> 00:17:04.720 I was like, I want you to think right now, 483 00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:06.800 like think about this feeling that yeah, 484 00:17:06.800 --> 00:17:10.120 the resentment, the difficulty being tired, 485 00:17:10.120 --> 00:17:12.360 feeling, you know, y'all that, all that stuff. 486 00:17:12.360 --> 00:17:14.880 I was like, this, this feeling you have. 487 00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:17.360 I was like, this is what hard feels like. 488 00:17:17.360 --> 00:17:19.160 Just aren't used to it. 489 00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:21.480 And so they were, it was like all that was, 490 00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:24.200 was I just relabeled their experience 491 00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:27.520 as what they now were, they expected it to be hard. 492 00:17:27.520 --> 00:17:29.600 They just didn't expect hard to be this. 493 00:17:29.600 --> 00:17:31.480 And so I said, no, this is hard. 494 00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:33.320 And they were like, oh. 495 00:17:33.320 --> 00:17:35.360 And then everything was fine. 496 00:17:35.360 --> 00:17:37.280 Just reset reality. 497 00:17:37.280 --> 00:17:41.480 And so I like to think about that with going through business 498 00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:42.800 things, going through new endeavors, 499 00:17:42.800 --> 00:17:45.840 making content and it not working, getting lawsuits, 500 00:17:45.840 --> 00:17:47.280 like all of these things is like, well, 501 00:17:47.280 --> 00:17:50.400 did I think becoming a billionaire or a multibillionaire 502 00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:51.680 would be easy? 503 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:52.680 No. 504 00:17:52.680 --> 00:17:54.800 Well, what I'm going through right now is hard. 505 00:17:54.800 --> 00:17:56.360 And this is what hard feels like. 506 00:17:56.360 --> 00:17:58.080 And a lot of hardness in my opinion 507 00:17:58.080 --> 00:18:00.200 is actually dealing with uncertainty. 508 00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:02.400 And so a lot of us want a guarantee 509 00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:04.160 from a world that will never give us one. 510 00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:06.320 And so we want to know, be on a shot of a doubt, 511 00:18:06.320 --> 00:18:07.880 that if we do these things where to get this outcome, 512 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:09.520 and it just isn't true. 513 00:18:09.520 --> 00:18:11.680 And so we live in this constant state of turmoil 514 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:13.800 or tension between reality and our expectations 515 00:18:13.800 --> 00:18:15.720 because we want it to be guaranteed. 516 00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:17.280 And we want it to be worth it. 517 00:18:17.280 --> 00:18:20.360 And we don't know if it will be, but that is why it's hard. 518 00:18:20.360 --> 00:18:24.080 And that is why succeeding and persevering despite 519 00:18:24.080 --> 00:18:26.880 it being unknown is worth it. 520 00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:29.000 Because if you plow the alternative scenario where 521 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:32.720 if you know you type in the cheat code, you win all the levels, 522 00:18:32.720 --> 00:18:34.200 you lose all the fun. 523 00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:36.040 So if you were played a video game where you have 524 00:18:36.040 --> 00:18:38.360 the ultimate sword day one and you know 525 00:18:38.360 --> 00:18:41.160 where every monster is and you can't lose 526 00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:43.480 because you have an impenetrable shield on, 527 00:18:43.480 --> 00:18:44.320 it's not being fun. 528 00:18:44.320 --> 00:18:46.360 And it's the same reason that the Greek gods 529 00:18:46.360 --> 00:18:47.680 envied the mortals. 530 00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:49.560 This is because their lives were ephemeral. 531 00:18:49.560 --> 00:18:51.800 Their lives were, they were mortal. 532 00:18:51.800 --> 00:18:52.760 Anything could happen. 533 00:18:52.760 --> 00:18:54.960 Whereas the gods outcomes were guaranteed. 534 00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:57.400 And so we have this perception that we want this thing. 535 00:18:57.400 --> 00:18:59.640 But if we really were to have that guarantee, 536 00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:03.200 it would circumvent the reason it's worth pursuing to begin with. 537 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:05.520 And so I try to remind myself of that when I get frustrated 538 00:19:05.520 --> 00:19:07.160 where I stand my foot and have a tantrum and say, 539 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:09.160 like, this isn't fair, I should know this. 540 00:19:09.160 --> 00:19:11.560 This didn't work out the way I expected it to. 541 00:19:11.560 --> 00:19:13.680 Rather than like, it happened, period. 542 00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:15.320 I'm only upset because I had an expectation 543 00:19:15.320 --> 00:19:17.240 that I hadn't spoken out loud. 544 00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:18.920 And so a lot of times when I am upset, 545 00:19:18.920 --> 00:19:22.560 I think, well, what expectation did I have that is unmet? 546 00:19:22.560 --> 00:19:24.040 And then can I reset the expectation 547 00:19:24.040 --> 00:19:24.960 or can I reset reality? 548 00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:27.680 And most times, it's easier to just reset the expectation. 549 00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:30.680 I think people want a challenge that is worth pursuing 550 00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:34.120 that matches their max ability at the time. 551 00:19:34.120 --> 00:19:35.320 And I think that's where it gets difficult. 552 00:19:35.320 --> 00:19:36.880 Because sometimes it's a little too easy. 553 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:38.840 And sometimes it's a little bit too hard. 554 00:19:38.840 --> 00:19:42.560 And so you have to know both of those feel like 555 00:19:42.560 --> 00:19:44.120 and be okay with it. 556 00:19:44.120 --> 00:19:47.080 Because life isn't going to give you a perfect challenge, right? 557 00:19:47.080 --> 00:19:48.920 But what it can do or what it will do 558 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:51.000 is it will give you something that you can endure. 559 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:53.800 And I think that enduring it itself 560 00:19:53.800 --> 00:19:55.560 gives you proof that you can endure more 561 00:19:55.560 --> 00:19:56.760 than you originally thought. 562 00:19:56.760 --> 00:19:58.000 And I think that gives you evidence 563 00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.120 that you can do a lot more. 564 00:19:59.120 --> 00:20:00.560 And I think that's what gets me motivated 565 00:20:00.560 --> 00:20:01.440 even through the hardest times 566 00:20:01.440 --> 00:20:03.600 is that like this will be one of the stories I tell, 567 00:20:03.600 --> 00:20:05.640 not only to other foot to myself. 568 00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:07.240 I think that the right levels of challenge 569 00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:09.360 are actually where people experience flow. 570 00:20:09.360 --> 00:20:11.200 Like when you're editing a video 571 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:12.960 and you just like get in the zone, 572 00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:14.800 or if you're writing ad copy and you get in the zone, 573 00:20:14.800 --> 00:20:16.640 you're designing a web page and you get in the zone 574 00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:19.000 or you're writing a book and you get in the zone. 575 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:20.840 Like painting or you're making music 576 00:20:20.840 --> 00:20:21.960 or you're playing video games. 577 00:20:21.960 --> 00:20:24.880 Like it's now video games do actually adjust realities 578 00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:27.440 so that the bosses can get harder or easier for you. 579 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:28.840 But I think we naturally gravitate 580 00:20:28.840 --> 00:20:30.920 to the things that match our level of challenge 581 00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:32.800 so that time can disappear. 582 00:20:32.800 --> 00:20:35.240 And so I think one of the TLDRs on this 583 00:20:35.240 --> 00:20:36.880 is just emotions in general. 584 00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:41.120 Like do you get tired, stressed, sad, hungry, frustrated, 585 00:20:41.120 --> 00:20:42.040 unfocused? 586 00:20:42.040 --> 00:20:43.360 Do you ever feel misunderstood? 587 00:20:43.360 --> 00:20:44.200 Great. 588 00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:45.040 You're a human. 589 00:20:45.040 --> 00:20:46.480 You don't need medication. 590 00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:49.360 It's just like saying like I, it's sunny days 591 00:20:49.360 --> 00:20:52.040 and anytime it rains, I need to take medication 592 00:20:52.040 --> 00:20:53.680 so that it's always sunny. 593 00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:54.520 It has to be sunny. 594 00:20:54.520 --> 00:20:55.360 It must be sunny. 595 00:20:55.360 --> 00:20:56.840 I need it to be sunny. 596 00:20:56.840 --> 00:20:57.960 Why? 597 00:20:57.960 --> 00:20:59.440 Most of the time it's because we've been told 598 00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:03.280 that being unhappy means that there's something wrong with you. 599 00:21:03.280 --> 00:21:06.200 And I just wholeheartedly reject that notion. 600 00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:07.760 I think way more unhappiness happens 601 00:21:07.760 --> 00:21:09.960 from the judgment on their unhappiness 602 00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:12.040 than unhappiness itself ever caused. 603 00:21:12.040 --> 00:21:13.440 One of my best frames around this 604 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:15.440 is just thinking of large numbers, 605 00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:18.040 which is like if I have 365 days a year, 606 00:21:18.040 --> 00:21:20.080 what are my bottom 10% days gonna look like? 607 00:21:20.080 --> 00:21:21.160 Probably pretty shitty. 608 00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:23.200 Like bottom 10% like that's a bad, 609 00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:24.480 that's bad day. 610 00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:25.640 How many of those a year do I get? 611 00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:27.240 36? 612 00:21:27.240 --> 00:21:29.400 Well shit, there's 12 months in a year. 613 00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:31.880 Okay, well I'm getting three of those a month. 614 00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:34.840 That's actually like fairly, fairly common. 615 00:21:34.840 --> 00:21:36.440 It's every 10 days. 616 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:38.160 I have a bottom 10% day. 617 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.400 And so I think about that a lot where I'm like, 618 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:42.600 I don't necessarily need to change anything. 619 00:21:42.600 --> 00:21:43.640 I think my plan's fine. 620 00:21:43.640 --> 00:21:44.720 I just need to increase my tolerance 621 00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:47.160 or the fact that what bottom 10% days look like, 622 00:21:47.160 --> 00:21:49.000 look feel like bottom 10% days 623 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:50.880 and I don't need to change anything at all. 624 00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:53.320 I think the reason that I like making this content a lot 625 00:21:53.320 --> 00:21:55.480 is because I actually do think it relates to business 626 00:21:55.480 --> 00:21:59.520 because what's so interesting is I had a team member 627 00:21:59.520 --> 00:22:01.200 shadow some of our core release 628 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:03.040 with some more portfolio companies. 629 00:22:03.040 --> 00:22:05.520 And he said something interesting. 630 00:22:05.520 --> 00:22:09.400 Interesting for him, obvious for me was all these discussions 631 00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:11.480 are who problems, not how problems. 632 00:22:11.480 --> 00:22:13.200 And I was like, yeah, once you get above a million 633 00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:15.240 amount, everything's who problems. 634 00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:16.760 And so it's all about the people. 635 00:22:16.760 --> 00:22:19.400 And so I talk about this stuff because like as entrepreneurs, 636 00:22:19.400 --> 00:22:21.360 you have to be able to keep your head. 637 00:22:21.360 --> 00:22:22.760 Because fundamentally just like it's, 638 00:22:22.760 --> 00:22:24.120 entrepreneurship comes down to decision making, 639 00:22:24.120 --> 00:22:25.600 comes to allocation of resources. 640 00:22:25.600 --> 00:22:27.440 And so if you can't make consistent decisions 641 00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:29.160 in changing environments, 642 00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:30.600 then you are not fit to be an entrepreneur 643 00:22:30.600 --> 00:22:31.920 or you'll be a less fit entrepreneur. 644 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:34.160 And so having these constructs that allow you 645 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:36.920 to reframe reality as not good or bad, 646 00:22:36.920 --> 00:22:38.000 but just as things that happen 647 00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:39.400 and what am I going to do about it, 648 00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:41.280 it doesn't have to be, you don't have, 649 00:22:41.280 --> 00:22:42.240 it doesn't have to be your fault, 650 00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:44.200 but it still will be your problem. 651 00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:45.520 And I love that for him. 652 00:22:45.520 --> 00:22:47.280 And so it great, got it. 653 00:22:47.280 --> 00:22:49.160 Like it's like the teammates want to figure out 654 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:50.200 who's fault it is on the team. 655 00:22:50.200 --> 00:22:51.480 It doesn't really matter. 656 00:22:51.480 --> 00:22:52.800 What are we going to do? 657 00:22:52.800 --> 00:22:55.200 And then that just massively simplifies the conversation 658 00:22:55.200 --> 00:22:57.400 into what is actually going to propel the business forward. 659 00:22:57.400 --> 00:22:58.880 And the less time we could spend ideating 660 00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:00.880 on fault, intention, blame, 661 00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:02.560 and just on what actions we're going to take, 662 00:23:02.560 --> 00:23:04.240 the faster the organizational move. 663 00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:06.520 And so that usually comes from the top down. 664 00:23:06.520 --> 00:23:08.120 If you have somebody who's gossipy, 665 00:23:08.120 --> 00:23:10.720 who likes to revel in intention, 666 00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:13.440 which is one of my least favorite concepts in general, 667 00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:14.760 because how are you ever going to know 668 00:23:14.760 --> 00:23:15.600 someone's intention? 669 00:23:15.600 --> 00:23:17.520 They don't even know their own intentions. 670 00:23:17.520 --> 00:23:19.800 Like there's no point in wasting all this time 671 00:23:19.800 --> 00:23:21.120 to try and figure it out, which is also 672 00:23:21.120 --> 00:23:23.520 gives lots of questions to the legal system overall, 673 00:23:23.520 --> 00:23:25.960 but leave that as an aside. 674 00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:29.400 Just focusing on action makes everything easier. 675 00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:30.960 I remember when I started my first business, 676 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:34.280 which was a gym, I had no business starting a business. 677 00:23:34.280 --> 00:23:36.520 And the only reason I was able to start the business 678 00:23:36.520 --> 00:23:39.680 was because I was ignorant of how deficient I really was. 679 00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.120 Because if I knew what I knew now, 680 00:23:41.120 --> 00:23:42.560 I don't even know if I would have started, 681 00:23:42.560 --> 00:23:45.960 because it's so hard and I got so lucky so many times 682 00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:47.280 to view where I am today. 683 00:23:47.280 --> 00:23:49.840 Just sheer blind luck in a couple instances. 684 00:23:49.840 --> 00:23:51.160 I think working in a small business 685 00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:52.680 is a great way to get a much better idea. 686 00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:55.680 I came in knowing not, I didn't even know employees were a thing. 687 00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:57.160 Like I didn't know sales was a term. 688 00:23:57.160 --> 00:23:59.080 Like I really, I knew nothing. 689 00:23:59.080 --> 00:24:02.160 Because at one point some of my clients were like, 690 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:03.280 why don't you hire someone? 691 00:24:03.280 --> 00:24:04.400 And it was like a few months in 692 00:24:04.400 --> 00:24:06.080 and I just hadn't even thought of the, 693 00:24:06.080 --> 00:24:07.920 I just did, I just was like, I'll do everything. 694 00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:11.080 I'll clean, do the books, I'll run the marketing, 695 00:24:11.080 --> 00:24:12.800 I'll do the sales, I'll teach all the classes. 696 00:24:12.800 --> 00:24:14.440 And I was like, I'd chef to pay rent. 697 00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:15.800 Everything else is mine. 698 00:24:15.800 --> 00:24:16.640 Right? 699 00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:17.640 Like that was like, I just didn't, 700 00:24:17.640 --> 00:24:19.120 I also didn't have any more money to pay anyone anyway. 701 00:24:19.120 --> 00:24:21.600 So it wasn't even an option that was on the table. 702 00:24:21.600 --> 00:24:23.400 And so that's how ignorant I was going 703 00:24:23.400 --> 00:24:24.880 into the entrepreneurial journey. 704 00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:26.120 And so I don't think it's what, 705 00:24:26.120 --> 00:24:27.840 I think it's a contract people sign up for 706 00:24:27.840 --> 00:24:29.520 without knowing there's enough for it. 707 00:24:29.520 --> 00:24:31.800 I think paying off ignorance that is the single greatest thing 708 00:24:31.800 --> 00:24:34.560 that everyone can do in their entire lives until they die. 709 00:24:35.560 --> 00:24:37.160 I think Socrates said, 710 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:40.960 the source of evil is ignorance. 711 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:42.400 So knowledge would be the ultimate good. 712 00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:45.040 If you knew everything about everything, 713 00:24:45.040 --> 00:24:47.360 like it's kind of like you can't hate someone close up, 714 00:24:47.360 --> 00:24:48.400 try like that terminology. 715 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:51.080 Like if you completely understood someone's everything, 716 00:24:51.080 --> 00:24:52.440 then you wouldn't be upset with them. 717 00:24:52.440 --> 00:24:54.280 You would understand why they are that way. 718 00:24:54.280 --> 00:24:55.880 And so I think that's another, like, 719 00:24:55.880 --> 00:24:57.400 there's a lot of frames that I've used over the years. 720 00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:00.200 And it's because like I tried to maintain neutrality 721 00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:01.720 as much as humanly possible. 722 00:25:01.720 --> 00:25:03.080 I still mess up. 723 00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:04.840 But if I'm upset with someone, 724 00:25:04.840 --> 00:25:07.000 it's like I must not understand something. 725 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:08.320 It would probably be a source of their sadness 726 00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:10.840 or I guess it could be a source of their anxiety 727 00:25:10.840 --> 00:25:13.480 if they haven't found a good enough option yet, 728 00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:14.960 which I would then relate back to sadness, 729 00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:15.960 which is they don't know. 730 00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:18.560 Like they don't see a really winner winning option. 731 00:25:18.560 --> 00:25:20.240 They just see lots of bad ones. 732 00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:21.520 And so yeah, I mean, that's why 733 00:25:21.520 --> 00:25:23.360 making real business education accessible for everyone 734 00:25:23.360 --> 00:25:25.000 has been the mission of the business. 735 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:27.160 It's like if people have more knowledge, 736 00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:28.280 they will make better decisions. 737 00:25:28.280 --> 00:25:29.280 If they make better decisions, 738 00:25:29.280 --> 00:25:30.800 they will live better a lot. 739 00:25:30.800 --> 00:25:33.120 You