WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.371 --> 00:00:01.912
Just before we start, Fax.

2
00:00:02.232 --> 00:00:02.692
Pay it on me.

3
00:00:02.912 --> 00:00:10.997
Do you think it should be okay to just completely walk away from someone if they're mid-convo and you're not interested?

4
00:00:12.978 --> 00:00:15.439
No, it's not okay, but it maybe should be a thing.

5
00:00:15.459 --> 00:00:22.743
Yeah, like, could that be... Like, if someone's just telling a massive story and you're like, I can't be fucked, like, this is so shit.

6
00:00:23.343 --> 00:00:25.304
Can you just... Is that like... Can we make that...

7
00:00:26.324 --> 00:00:26.684
I think.

8
00:00:27.004 --> 00:00:27.365
Oh, no.

9
00:00:27.405 --> 00:00:30.767
Because so many people's egos and or not egos, like they're like...

10
00:00:30.967 --> 00:00:31.447
It's heavy.

11
00:00:31.487 --> 00:00:33.228
Their self-worth would get smoked.

12
00:00:33.248 --> 00:00:38.751
But maybe you're telling me about this story about this guy that you were talking to and he turns everything into this crazy long story.

13
00:00:39.252 --> 00:00:43.814
So I made me thinking, I'm like, what if he... Because every time they start a story... You're hooked in.

14
00:00:43.834 --> 00:00:44.935
You're hooked in and you can't let...

15
00:00:44.935 --> 00:00:45.095
leave.

16
00:00:45.115 --> 00:00:45.916
You don't even care about it.

17
00:00:45.956 --> 00:00:52.242
You know, in a night out and you're having a chat with someone and you can see over in the corner, like you'd be amazed they're having the best chat.

18
00:00:52.262 --> 00:00:53.583
They're all laughing and you're stuck.

19
00:00:53.844 --> 00:00:54.584
How do you get out of chats?

20
00:00:54.645 --> 00:00:55.325
Oh, fuck me.

21
00:00:55.345 --> 00:00:57.047
Getting out of chats, that is so hard.

22
00:00:57.327 --> 00:00:57.768
So hard.

23
00:00:57.828 --> 00:01:00.610
It's always the toilet or I need to get a drink but even that is hard.

24
00:01:00.811 --> 00:01:07.958
You're staring at them and they're sharing gosh you've never heard before and that no one's ever heard before and they're all laughing and shit and you're stuck talking about finances of Uncle Greg.

25
00:01:08.178 --> 00:01:08.278
Oh.

26
00:01:08.478 --> 00:01:10.279
That's what you do though.

27
00:01:10.339 --> 00:01:11.319
You corner people.

28
00:01:11.339 --> 00:01:11.679
I do not.

29
00:01:11.719 --> 00:01:14.620
You corner people and give them this business chat that they don't even want.

30
00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:14.940
They do.

31
00:01:14.980 --> 00:01:18.181
And they're probably looking at their mates and you're going, no, listen, mate, mate, no, no, listen.

32
00:01:19.321 --> 00:01:21.142
Spitting and pointing at them in the chest.

33
00:01:21.282 --> 00:01:21.662
All right.

34
00:01:21.802 --> 00:01:22.382
Calm down.

35
00:01:22.862 --> 00:01:23.723
Let's start the episode.

36
00:01:23.963 --> 00:01:24.663
I'm walking away.

37
00:01:32.158 --> 00:01:34.719
We are back with another rattled story.

38
00:01:34.839 --> 00:01:35.719
Not from us, though.

39
00:01:35.779 --> 00:01:36.359
Thank God.

40
00:01:36.499 --> 00:01:40.940
It's from one and only, the one and only, Happy Alan.

41
00:01:41.260 --> 00:01:41.980
Cream pie guy.

42
00:01:42.300 --> 00:01:44.061
The cream pie master.

43
00:01:44.121 --> 00:01:45.061
It's scary to be back.

44
00:01:45.241 --> 00:01:47.582
Long John or cream pie?

45
00:01:47.602 --> 00:01:48.182
What are they called?

46
00:01:48.242 --> 00:01:49.502
Well, they're called Long Johns.

47
00:01:49.522 --> 00:01:54.483
Long E. But I think Channel 9 put me up on the news and said, best cream pie.

48
00:01:55.083 --> 00:01:56.144
So that's where that came from.

49
00:01:56.204 --> 00:01:57.184
Best cream pie.

50
00:01:57.204 --> 00:01:59.364
Yeah, that was the banner on the story.

51
00:01:59.464 --> 00:02:00.505
It was best cream pie.

52
00:02:00.525 --> 00:02:01.865
My mom was like, what the fuck is this?

53
00:02:05.730 --> 00:02:08.333
What do you, like, what's your favorite?

54
00:02:08.894 --> 00:02:09.114
Name?

55
00:02:09.675 --> 00:02:12.619
Yeah, or no, no, like a... Bakery Suite.

56
00:02:12.679 --> 00:02:13.099
Yeah.

57
00:02:13.119 --> 00:02:17.385
Dude, like the Cream and Gem Donuts or the Long Johns, they're my favorite.

58
00:02:17.405 --> 00:02:17.945
I fucking love them.

59
00:02:17.965 --> 00:02:19.648
Would you rather that or a pie, just like normal...

60
00:02:20.048 --> 00:02:20.789
Oh, longy for sure.

61
00:02:20.809 --> 00:02:21.329
Really?

62
00:02:21.349 --> 00:02:21.549
Yeah.

63
00:02:21.629 --> 00:02:22.190
Really?

64
00:02:22.350 --> 00:02:24.152
The pies, I don't...

65
00:02:24.192 --> 00:02:26.293
Lately, the pies I've been getting have got the soggy bottoms.

66
00:02:26.453 --> 00:02:27.134
Yeah, man.

67
00:02:27.174 --> 00:02:27.795
I don't like that shit.

68
00:02:27.835 --> 00:02:28.295
Nah, nah.

69
00:02:28.315 --> 00:02:28.976
You want good pastry.

70
00:02:28.996 --> 00:02:30.337
I don't mind a soggy bottom, but not in a pie.

71
00:02:30.377 --> 00:02:31.538
Eating chunky steak in it.

72
00:02:31.758 --> 00:02:32.519
So you get a sweet tooth?

73
00:02:32.999 --> 00:02:33.259
Oh, yeah.

74
00:02:33.279 --> 00:02:33.599
Massive.

75
00:02:33.619 --> 00:02:34.000
Yeah.

76
00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:35.421
Fuck, I love that shit.

77
00:02:35.761 --> 00:02:35.981
All right.

78
00:02:36.001 --> 00:02:36.962
You're in for a rattled.

79
00:02:37.262 --> 00:02:37.463
Yeah.

80
00:02:38.506 --> 00:02:40.447
Yeah, I'm nervous to say this one.

81
00:02:41.047 --> 00:02:46.670
Yeah, can I just say, you're like the equivalent of the Queensland Dom.

82
00:02:46.830 --> 00:02:47.971
Yeah, that's what I reckon.

83
00:02:48.111 --> 00:02:49.572
I reckon you and Dom are very similar.

84
00:02:49.592 --> 00:02:52.773
You and Dom have a lot of similarities.

85
00:02:52.813 --> 00:02:53.894
You're always up to mischief.

86
00:02:54.374 --> 00:02:56.835
I used to just say yes to everything.

87
00:02:57.055 --> 00:02:57.315
Yeah.

88
00:02:57.516 --> 00:02:58.236
Oh, yeah, fuck it.

89
00:02:58.256 --> 00:02:58.696
That sounds fun.

90
00:02:58.716 --> 00:02:59.036
I'll do that.

91
00:02:59.056 --> 00:03:01.878
And then go, oh, what am I doing in this situation?

92
00:03:01.958 --> 00:03:04.319
Well, then 15 years in, you just still haven't learned.

93
00:03:04.619 --> 00:03:05.459
Yeah, even now, I'm like...

94
00:03:06.500 --> 00:03:07.880
what are you doing?

95
00:03:08.260 --> 00:03:09.301
But that leads to great stories.

96
00:03:09.401 --> 00:03:09.941
Yeah, it does.

97
00:03:09.961 --> 00:03:10.641
And great rattles.

98
00:03:10.861 --> 00:03:11.121
Yeah.

99
00:03:11.181 --> 00:03:11.901
Which you have one of.

100
00:03:12.101 --> 00:03:19.323
Well, it was like, I don't know, have you ever been like seeing a girl and like, you know she's trouble, but like, I don't know, it's just...

101
00:03:19.383 --> 00:03:20.383
It's like the flame.

102
00:03:20.403 --> 00:03:24.304
You know, you're mesmerized by the flame, but you know, it's going to burn you if you get real close.

103
00:03:24.324 --> 00:03:25.384
I knew it was going to burn me.

104
00:03:25.584 --> 00:03:25.984
Yeah.

105
00:03:26.204 --> 00:03:27.845
And I just was like...

106
00:03:27.865 --> 00:03:33.466
But that's kind of like, that addicts you when you're younger, especially like, to that just...

107
00:03:34.226 --> 00:03:36.869
Like, you know it's really bad and dangerous.

108
00:03:37.069 --> 00:03:38.931
Well, me and both heads thought, let's go and do it.

109
00:03:39.091 --> 00:03:40.092
And it was like, fuck.

110
00:03:40.272 --> 00:03:41.413
Okay, so what is it?

111
00:03:41.473 --> 00:03:41.874
Where are you?

112
00:03:41.974 --> 00:03:45.017
So I met this girl like a few weeks prior.

113
00:03:45.677 --> 00:03:46.178
And we got along.

114
00:03:46.198 --> 00:03:47.239
We were hanging out a little bit.

115
00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:51.884
And then like, it was like a random midweek night.

116
00:03:51.904 --> 00:03:53.085
It was like Wednesday or Thursday.

117
00:03:53.105 --> 00:03:54.306
She was like, hey, do you want to come over?

118
00:03:54.786 --> 00:03:55.747
This was like at 9 p.m.

119
00:03:56.408 --> 00:03:57.309
And I was like, oh, fuck it.

120
00:03:57.329 --> 00:03:58.989
I was a bit toey and I was like, let's go.

121
00:03:59.130 --> 00:03:59.850
Had you met her before?

122
00:04:00.090 --> 00:04:00.790
Yeah, yeah.

123
00:04:00.931 --> 00:04:02.612
We were hanging out like a week or two prior.

124
00:04:02.672 --> 00:04:03.492
And had you hooked up before?

125
00:04:03.632 --> 00:04:03.812
Yeah.

126
00:04:03.992 --> 00:04:04.192
Okay.

127
00:04:04.212 --> 00:04:04.933
Yeah, yeah.

128
00:04:05.193 --> 00:04:07.634
So yeah, we'd already been there, done that.

129
00:04:07.935 --> 00:04:09.595
And then, you know, I was at her apartment.

130
00:04:10.196 --> 00:04:13.418
She had like lingerie on and shit and like the movers said it was dim lighting.

131
00:04:13.438 --> 00:04:15.519
Yeah, it was like, it was very, it was hot.

132
00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:16.059
Okay.

133
00:04:16.579 --> 00:04:18.741
And then when I'm sitting there in my jocks and like...

134
00:04:19.721 --> 00:04:23.243
Literally out of nowhere, it was like, bang, bang, bang at the door.

135
00:04:23.283 --> 00:04:26.364
Like, not a knock, like a fucking bitch.

136
00:04:26.544 --> 00:04:27.404
Oh my God.

137
00:04:27.504 --> 00:04:29.025
And I was like, oh fuck.

138
00:04:29.585 --> 00:04:29.985
Oh fuck.

139
00:04:30.045 --> 00:04:31.306
That would freak me out.

140
00:04:31.446 --> 00:04:34.267
I'm three levels up in her fucking apartment, right?

141
00:04:34.447 --> 00:04:36.608
Had you already slept together at this point?

142
00:04:36.648 --> 00:04:37.568
No, we hadn't.

143
00:04:38.028 --> 00:04:39.689
It was like an hour after I got there.

144
00:04:39.809 --> 00:04:41.390
Oh, so you're in your undies.

145
00:04:41.410 --> 00:04:41.570
Yeah.

146
00:04:41.710 --> 00:04:44.751
She's in lingerie and you get- We're having drinks and stuff and you get a big bang at the door.

147
00:04:44.791 --> 00:04:45.712
In a studio apartment.

148
00:04:45.732 --> 00:04:47.652
So no balcony, no way out, no exit.

149
00:04:47.792 --> 00:04:48.813
One door in, one door out.

150
00:04:48.833 --> 00:04:49.273
Shut up.

151
00:04:49.453 --> 00:04:49.573
Up.

152
00:04:49.793 --> 00:04:50.073
Bro.

153
00:04:50.314 --> 00:04:51.134
And so, what'd you say?

154
00:04:51.154 --> 00:04:51.774
Would you like, who's this?

155
00:04:51.795 --> 00:04:52.855
I was like, what the fuck?

156
00:04:52.915 --> 00:04:55.097
And she goes, oh, I think that's my ex.

157
00:04:55.157 --> 00:04:56.017
He keeps coming back.

158
00:04:56.077 --> 00:04:57.178
And I'm like, oh, fuck.

159
00:04:57.198 --> 00:04:58.439
Oh, my God.

160
00:04:58.459 --> 00:05:00.860
And by the sound of the thuds, I'm a fucking short bloke.

161
00:05:00.940 --> 00:05:02.321
Like, oh, dude.

162
00:05:02.401 --> 00:05:03.282
You saw me punch the other day.

163
00:05:03.302 --> 00:05:05.123
I can't fucking fight my way of a wet paper bag.

164
00:05:06.003 --> 00:05:07.064
And I'm like, fuck.

165
00:05:07.084 --> 00:05:08.185
And she goes, oh, hide under the bed.

166
00:05:08.205 --> 00:05:09.445
I'm like, fucking stupid.

167
00:05:09.465 --> 00:05:12.607
That's the first place I would look if I was budging in.

168
00:05:12.687 --> 00:05:14.068
This is like my worst nightmare.

169
00:05:14.108 --> 00:05:15.149
He knows someone's in there.

170
00:05:15.269 --> 00:05:15.809
Obviously.

171
00:05:15.829 --> 00:05:16.250
He's banging.

172
00:05:16.270 --> 00:05:17.190
Did he keep banging?

173
00:05:17.370 --> 00:05:18.251
Bang, bang, bang.

174
00:05:18.271 --> 00:05:18.531
Like,

175
00:05:18.751 --> 00:05:19.712
I felt like he was kicking it.

176
00:05:19.752 --> 00:05:21.915
I was like, oh, fuck.

177
00:05:21.935 --> 00:05:24.237
So I put my shorts up.

178
00:05:24.357 --> 00:05:27.982
Dude, I opened the kitchen window and I'm like, I looked down.

179
00:05:28.022 --> 00:05:28.802
I'm three levels up.

180
00:05:28.903 --> 00:05:31.686
And I'm like, I was like, fuck it.

181
00:05:31.706 --> 00:05:33.307
I had a bit of confidence and I was like, fuck it.

182
00:05:33.868 --> 00:05:34.429
So I climbed out.

183
00:05:34.449 --> 00:05:34.989
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

184
00:05:35.009 --> 00:05:37.112
But how long were you like fritzing around?

185
00:05:37.132 --> 00:05:38.953
Yeah, I was like, and they're just banging.

186
00:05:38.973 --> 00:05:41.396
And I'm like, I was like shaking now thinking about it.

187
00:05:41.416 --> 00:05:42.377
Dude, yuck.

188
00:05:42.477 --> 00:05:43.979
And I was like, fuck it, fuck it.

189
00:05:44.019 --> 00:05:44.780
I'm going out the window.

190
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:46.261
What was she saying to you?

191
00:05:46.281 --> 00:05:47.943
She was like, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't.

192
00:05:47.983 --> 00:05:49.464
I don't know if it was a set up.

193
00:05:50.305 --> 00:05:53.668
Or like, but it was like, she was like, it was scary for both of us.

194
00:05:53.728 --> 00:05:56.731
An angry, an angry ex is not what you need.

195
00:05:56.831 --> 00:05:57.412
And you know what?

196
00:05:57.452 --> 00:05:59.534
He nearly looks worse if you hide and he catches you.

197
00:05:59.554 --> 00:06:01.275
Cause you've already pretty much, he's going to bash you.

198
00:06:01.295 --> 00:06:03.017
Like you might as well stand up through him.

199
00:06:03.037 --> 00:06:03.197
Yeah.

200
00:06:03.237 --> 00:06:04.218
And I thought, fuck it.

201
00:06:04.258 --> 00:06:05.019
I'm going to escape.

202
00:06:05.099 --> 00:06:11.004
So I literally, I'm outside the kitchen window and I've got my hands like this on the, on the window ledge.

203
00:06:11.024 --> 00:06:13.447
My feet are on like the bottom ledge behind, underneath me.

204
00:06:13.987 --> 00:06:14.607
And I'm like this.

205
00:06:14.747 --> 00:06:16.708
And then the door fucking swings open, bro.

206
00:06:16.749 --> 00:06:18.129
Oh, so you've hopped out of the window?

207
00:06:18.149 --> 00:06:19.330
Yeah, I'm hanging out the side of the building.

208
00:06:19.350 --> 00:06:19.490
No.

209
00:06:19.510 --> 00:06:20.310
Like Spider-Man.

210
00:06:20.350 --> 00:06:22.271
Like hanging on like this, outside the building, like this.

211
00:06:22.292 --> 00:06:24.233
And you can just see, it was like this.

212
00:06:24.253 --> 00:06:26.254
Oh, my God.

213
00:06:26.274 --> 00:06:27.234
You can see in the window still?

214
00:06:27.254 --> 00:06:30.676
Yeah, and I'm looking right at the door is in front of me like this.

215
00:06:30.996 --> 00:06:31.456
Are you serious?

216
00:06:31.476 --> 00:06:33.418
And then the door fucking swings open.

217
00:06:33.558 --> 00:06:34.038
And I'm like...

218
00:06:35.465 --> 00:06:36.987
And it was like, oh fuck.

219
00:06:37.187 --> 00:06:44.837
And I was like, there was a metal, it was on an old brick building and the gutter was like, and I went like this and I shoot the gutter and it was like sturdy as.

220
00:06:44.877 --> 00:06:46.018
And I was like, fuck it.

221
00:06:46.439 --> 00:06:48.441
And I like- Did you see him?

222
00:06:48.481 --> 00:06:49.723
No, dude, we locked eyes bro.

223
00:06:49.743 --> 00:06:51.065
And I was just standing- Oh, he's seeing you.

224
00:06:51.265 --> 00:06:52.406
And I'm like this, outside the window.

225
00:06:55.623 --> 00:06:57.445
Bro, I reckon I nearly shit myself.

226
00:06:57.625 --> 00:06:58.666
And I was like, fuck it.

227
00:06:58.686 --> 00:07:00.007
And this gets worse.

228
00:07:00.648 --> 00:07:02.209
I fucking start scaling down.

229
00:07:02.229 --> 00:07:03.010
I'm shaking.

230
00:07:03.110 --> 00:07:03.590
Talk about this.

231
00:07:03.650 --> 00:07:04.891
I'm sweating, dude.

232
00:07:04.911 --> 00:07:07.714
I scale down the side of the building with the gutter like fucking Fireman Sam.

233
00:07:08.675 --> 00:07:10.376
And I start walking out.

234
00:07:10.517 --> 00:07:13.199
And there's fucking two of his boys sitting out in the car together.

235
00:07:13.459 --> 00:07:13.699
No.

236
00:07:13.719 --> 00:07:14.340
No.

237
00:07:14.600 --> 00:07:15.801
I just started legging it, dude.

238
00:07:15.861 --> 00:07:17.122
So you made it down?

239
00:07:17.162 --> 00:07:17.623
You made it down.

240
00:07:17.663 --> 00:07:19.264
I made it down off the back fence.

241
00:07:19.384 --> 00:07:20.405
There's two kind of standing.

242
00:07:20.425 --> 00:07:21.806
How did you get down?

243
00:07:22.107 --> 00:07:22.647
Down the gutter.

244
00:07:22.667 --> 00:07:23.628
Like a fire hole.

245
00:07:23.668 --> 00:07:24.409
Like this.

246
00:07:24.449 --> 00:07:26.591
I held it and slid down the side of the building.

247
00:07:26.611 --> 00:07:29.473
That in itself deserves a round of applause.

248
00:07:29.613 --> 00:07:31.895
What was he doing after he spotted you?

249
00:07:31.915 --> 00:07:33.857
I legged it, obviously, and I get down the bottom.

250
00:07:34.177 --> 00:07:36.399
So wait, so he's seen you slide down.

251
00:07:36.419 --> 00:07:37.120
You've got to the ground.

252
00:07:37.160 --> 00:07:38.961
Was he looking down the window at you?

253
00:07:39.182 --> 00:07:39.962
I didn't look up, dude.

254
00:07:40.022 --> 00:07:40.883
I was like...

255
00:07:42.504 --> 00:08:08.764
the adrenaline I'm getting like fucking thinking about it so these cunts start chasing me I'm running this is like 11pm by now so it's dark pitch black I run down to the beach and I get near the water are you shirtless are you just in your job I'm just in shorts shorts and no shoes and I just I drop in the sand like this in the pitch black and I can see them walking up like on the boardwalk like looking around for someone with their phone torch out looking for someone what beach are we on

256
00:08:10.470 --> 00:08:10.790
Bondi?

257
00:08:10.830 --> 00:08:11.371
Yeah, close.

258
00:08:11.651 --> 00:08:11.991
Wow.

259
00:08:12.291 --> 00:08:13.372
And I'm like in the sand.

260
00:08:13.972 --> 00:08:15.333
I'm like, oh, fuck.

261
00:08:15.353 --> 00:08:16.473
This is fucking terrifying.

262
00:08:17.054 --> 00:08:24.837
Anyway, I can see them, but I'm literally laying down at this like Call of Duty style like laying there like frozen.

263
00:08:24.917 --> 00:08:25.138
Dude.

264
00:08:25.178 --> 00:08:26.538
I see them start to walk off, dude.

265
00:08:26.558 --> 00:08:28.719
So I'm like trying to get my way because all my stuff was up there.

266
00:08:28.739 --> 00:08:29.880
So I start making my way back.

267
00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:30.981
Is your phone and everything's up there?

268
00:08:31.481 --> 00:08:32.121
No, not my phone.

269
00:08:32.441 --> 00:08:33.162
Your wallet or any?

270
00:08:33.402 --> 00:08:33.562
I had…

271
00:08:34.605 --> 00:08:38.088
Shorts on, shirt up there, wallet up there, like shoes up there, some belongings up there.

272
00:08:38.108 --> 00:08:38.328
No.

273
00:08:38.688 --> 00:08:42.011
So they know, he would have saw who you were if you opened your wallet.

274
00:08:43.231 --> 00:08:43.692
Oh, I don't know.

275
00:08:44.232 --> 00:08:46.054
I hope not.

276
00:08:46.074 --> 00:08:46.814
I've never thought about it.

277
00:08:46.834 --> 00:08:47.695
He's really listening right now.

278
00:08:47.715 --> 00:08:49.016
That's what I was nervous about.

279
00:08:49.356 --> 00:08:55.541
Anyway, so I'm walking back and I'm like on the bridge there and I can see the apartment and I can see the car at the front and she's calling me and stuff.

280
00:08:55.561 --> 00:08:57.282
She's like, don't come back, don't come back, texting me.

281
00:08:57.402 --> 00:08:58.303
Oh, that's heavy.

282
00:08:58.323 --> 00:08:59.123
And I'm like, fuck.

283
00:08:59.283 --> 00:09:03.627
Anyway, they drove off and she goes, you can come back now if you need.

284
00:09:04.408 --> 00:09:06.089
So I... That's not... That's a stitch up.

285
00:09:06.189 --> 00:09:07.090
Well, I went back.

286
00:09:07.190 --> 00:09:08.351
Oh, you idiot.

287
00:09:08.391 --> 00:09:09.191
I got my staff.

288
00:09:09.632 --> 00:09:10.212
Oh.

289
00:09:10.712 --> 00:09:14.595
And then she, like, was, like, uncomfortable staying there, like, because we didn't know what was going to happen.

290
00:09:14.635 --> 00:09:16.977
So we went and got a room for the night down the road.

291
00:09:17.257 --> 00:09:17.977
You stayed with her?

292
00:09:18.117 --> 00:09:18.418
Yeah.

293
00:09:18.458 --> 00:09:19.198
Holy shit.

294
00:09:19.218 --> 00:09:24.802
We stayed and then left in the morning, never to be seen, no contact ever again, never...

295
00:09:25.462 --> 00:09:26.263
Nothing ever came up.

296
00:09:26.743 --> 00:09:27.785
Oh, my God.

297
00:09:27.825 --> 00:09:29.406
That's heroic going back.

298
00:09:29.467 --> 00:09:29.687
Yeah.

299
00:09:29.887 --> 00:09:31.949
Until this gets released, this podcast.

300
00:09:31.969 --> 00:09:32.430
Who knows?

301
00:09:32.871 --> 00:09:33.071
Yeah.

302
00:09:33.371 --> 00:09:35.073
That is loose, dude.

303
00:09:35.293 --> 00:09:36.575
I am sweating thinking about that.

304
00:09:36.595 --> 00:09:37.436
That's my worst nightmare.

305
00:09:37.516 --> 00:09:38.998
I'm actually dripping, bro, thinking about that.

306
00:09:39.018 --> 00:09:39.578
Yeah.

307
00:09:39.618 --> 00:09:40.539
That's my worst nightmare.

308
00:09:40.559 --> 00:09:41.541
That's so scary.

309
00:09:41.561 --> 00:09:42.261
I'm getting chased.

310
00:09:43.342 --> 00:09:44.203
And it's not your fault.

311
00:09:44.643 --> 00:09:46.583
It's her fault.

312
00:09:46.643 --> 00:09:47.284
I had no idea.

313
00:09:47.584 --> 00:09:48.204
It's no one's fault.

314
00:09:48.224 --> 00:09:48.904
It's the ex's fault.

315
00:09:48.964 --> 00:09:50.225
Yeah, it's not her fault.

316
00:09:50.285 --> 00:09:50.925
It's not your fault.

317
00:09:51.085 --> 00:09:53.726
Dude, I didn't know she... She's crazy fucking ex.

318
00:09:53.946 --> 00:09:54.866
She said it was her ex.

319
00:09:55.026 --> 00:09:57.387
If she had a boyfriend, I had no idea.

320
00:09:57.427 --> 00:09:58.568
We'd seen each other for a couple of weeks.

321
00:09:59.068 --> 00:10:01.489
I was under the assumption it was all fucking green lights, good to go.

322
00:10:01.669 --> 00:10:03.169
Jesus.

323
00:10:03.189 --> 00:10:04.390
Stitch up.

324
00:10:04.510 --> 00:10:06.150
I'm literally beating sweat, bro.

325
00:10:06.250 --> 00:10:09.472
I can't believe you were on the beach full Call of Duty.

326
00:10:09.492 --> 00:10:10.332
Yeah, laying down.

327
00:10:10.632 --> 00:10:12.614
They would have probably like rolled you.

328
00:10:12.734 --> 00:10:14.355
I would have got fucked up, I reckon.

329
00:10:14.415 --> 00:10:17.318
Dude, I'm like...

330
00:10:17.338 --> 00:10:19.720
Imagine if I even fell from the fucking side of the building or something.

331
00:10:19.740 --> 00:10:20.381
Oh, dude, that's nuts.

332
00:10:20.541 --> 00:10:22.482
Yeah, you could have just... That's a Mission Impossible.

333
00:10:22.502 --> 00:10:23.664
That's like some Tom Cruise thing.

334
00:10:24.004 --> 00:10:25.525
Scaling down a three-story building.

335
00:10:25.545 --> 00:10:28.448
You're so lucky that the window had a gutter even.

336
00:10:29.028 --> 00:10:30.069
Or a way down.

337
00:10:30.089 --> 00:10:30.670
It was right there.

338
00:10:30.710 --> 00:10:31.590
It was next to it.

339
00:10:31.651 --> 00:10:34.453
It was like one of the old buildings, like solid metal, like built well.

340
00:10:34.733 --> 00:10:35.013
Like...

341
00:10:36.195 --> 00:10:56.578
fucking terrifying because yeah imagine if you didn't have that drain coming down yeah like he probably would have come over and just punched your hands you would have fell anything could have happened but that was fuck we're talking fuck 11 years ago oh years and years and years ago so hopefully the air's cleared yeah if this is ever if there wasn't the window what do you reckon your plan B would have been

342
00:10:57.460 --> 00:10:58.521
just get fucking rolled?

343
00:10:59.801 --> 00:11:00.502
Where would you hide?

344
00:11:00.542 --> 00:11:02.763
Like, where's this... Well, I don't know what I would do in that situation.

345
00:11:02.783 --> 00:11:04.464
In a studio apartment, the bed was in the lounge room.

346
00:11:04.504 --> 00:11:05.584
Like, you know, where do you go?

347
00:11:05.664 --> 00:11:06.785
You can't go anywhere, obviously.

348
00:11:07.325 --> 00:11:08.346
And they did... Oh, dude.

349
00:11:08.366 --> 00:11:11.127
Did you just, like... Yeah, no, they could have a knife or anything.

350
00:11:11.267 --> 00:11:11.807
Who knows?

351
00:11:12.167 --> 00:11:12.628
It could have...

352
00:11:13.908 --> 00:11:16.169
I mean, it's not... Oh, man.

353
00:11:16.189 --> 00:11:17.049
That's a rattled story.

354
00:11:17.089 --> 00:11:18.169
That is rattled.

355
00:11:18.329 --> 00:11:19.329
That's rattled.

356
00:11:19.409 --> 00:11:19.809
I'm rattled.

357
00:11:19.869 --> 00:11:20.710
I feel like I'm in the room.

358
00:11:20.970 --> 00:11:27.011
But the thing is, that's a moment where you just wish you just had done boxing lessons in younger life.

359
00:11:27.131 --> 00:11:28.031
I've only just started.

360
00:11:28.171 --> 00:11:30.392
And I put up a video of it.

361
00:11:30.412 --> 00:11:32.372
Someone's like, you can't fight yourself out of a wet paper bag.

362
00:11:32.392 --> 00:11:33.173
Who cares, brother?

363
00:11:33.993 --> 00:11:36.413
I'm going to go to boxing class tomorrow morning after that.

364
00:11:36.473 --> 00:11:37.794
Like, I need to start... Yeah.

365
00:11:37.914 --> 00:11:40.314
Sarah might have some fucking loose ends out there.

366
00:11:40.354 --> 00:11:41.875
She'd have more go than me.

367
00:11:41.935 --> 00:11:43.295
Dude, the thud on the door?

368
00:11:44.115 --> 00:11:44.696
terrifying.

369
00:11:45.056 --> 00:11:46.677
Oh, that moment?

370
00:11:46.717 --> 00:11:47.077
Instant.

371
00:11:47.917 --> 00:11:48.838
How did he get in?

372
00:11:48.858 --> 00:11:49.839
He must have broke the door.

373
00:11:49.859 --> 00:11:50.419
Fuck, bro.

374
00:11:50.519 --> 00:11:55.702
I was like, like that was like the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, I reckon.

375
00:11:55.822 --> 00:11:57.743
Oh, I don't doubt it, eh?

376
00:11:57.823 --> 00:11:59.084
I'm literally perspiring, dude.

377
00:11:59.284 --> 00:12:02.086
Well, thank you for coming on here and have you told many people that like...

378
00:12:02.166 --> 00:12:04.167
I don't think I've, I've never said that publicly ever.

379
00:12:04.267 --> 00:12:04.747
Wow.

380
00:12:04.987 --> 00:12:07.809
I mean, I've told it to my mates and stuff but I've never...

381
00:12:08.321 --> 00:12:10.204
Lulu can get a safe house for you, I think, after this.

382
00:12:10.484 --> 00:12:10.945
Yeah.

383
00:12:11.585 --> 00:12:12.487
She's done that for other guests.

384
00:12:12.507 --> 00:12:14.009
Put him in protection aid.

385
00:12:14.129 --> 00:12:15.671
Oh, yeah.

386
00:12:15.691 --> 00:12:16.252
Appreciate it.

387
00:12:16.272 --> 00:12:17.393
Fuck, no worries, boys.

388
00:12:17.433 --> 00:12:19.276
You leave sweating now?

389
00:12:19.316 --> 00:12:19.516
Yeah.

390
00:12:19.796 --> 00:12:20.537
I'm sweating, dude.

391
00:12:20.618 --> 00:12:21.138
I'm with you.

392
00:12:21.158 --> 00:12:21.539
I'm actually hot.

393
00:12:21.579 --> 00:12:22.099
I'm sweating.

394
00:12:30.992 --> 00:12:33.074
We're talking about age a lot in this podcast, aren't we?

395
00:12:33.275 --> 00:12:33.755
Yeah.

396
00:12:33.895 --> 00:12:36.858
Because when you get 30, you just freak out about it.

397
00:12:36.999 --> 00:12:38.260
Did you know what I had to do this morning?

398
00:12:38.580 --> 00:12:39.101
What?

399
00:12:39.141 --> 00:12:40.262
I think I sent it to you in the group.

400
00:12:40.743 --> 00:12:44.126
I was doing this form online for this paddle retreat thing.

401
00:12:45.248 --> 00:12:45.488
And...

402
00:12:46.569 --> 00:12:47.509
It had an age thing.

403
00:12:47.549 --> 00:12:48.309
It's like, what age are you?

404
00:12:48.329 --> 00:12:49.950
But it didn't have like, how old are you?

405
00:12:50.030 --> 00:12:51.690
It had like different things.

406
00:12:51.730 --> 00:12:53.311
So it had like, are you 25 to 28?

407
00:12:53.391 --> 00:12:54.851
Or are you 20?

408
00:12:55.111 --> 00:12:58.352
And then my thing was, are you 31 to 35?

409
00:12:58.652 --> 00:13:00.092
I was like, I had 31.

410
00:13:00.192 --> 00:13:00.632
To 35.

411
00:13:01.032 --> 00:13:03.013
I had to tick that box.

412
00:13:03.293 --> 00:13:06.114
The next one was like, see, I'm still in the bracket below.

413
00:13:06.134 --> 00:13:07.294
So I'm all good.

414
00:13:07.794 --> 00:13:09.734
The next one was up until 40 and that's all it was.

415
00:13:09.834 --> 00:13:11.375
And the youngest one started at 18.

416
00:13:11.395 --> 00:13:13.175
So you know where I was down that column?

417
00:13:13.295 --> 00:13:14.075
I was at the bottom.

418
00:13:14.155 --> 00:13:14.896
Yeah, you're going low.

419
00:13:14.916 --> 00:13:16.296
That's so fucked.

420
00:13:18.137 --> 00:13:22.299
this age that we're at, weddings, you know, they're kind of on the horizon.

421
00:13:22.479 --> 00:13:22.699
Yeah.

422
00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:28.402
You know, I'm sure a lot of people, the younger this, have had weddings, but they're in our atmosphere.

423
00:13:28.582 --> 00:13:29.423
We're late bloomers.

424
00:13:29.703 --> 00:13:30.483
They're in our atmosphere.

425
00:13:30.583 --> 00:13:36.807
And we have sent out to you guys to get some horror stories from weddings because...

426
00:13:37.567 --> 00:13:38.047
They happen.

427
00:13:38.207 --> 00:13:38.568
They happen.

428
00:13:38.588 --> 00:13:40.209
There's so much build-up pressure.

429
00:13:40.749 --> 00:13:42.070
It's meant to be like the perfect day.

430
00:13:42.110 --> 00:13:45.952
I feel really sorry for brides because like, you know, they just want the good weather.

431
00:13:46.092 --> 00:13:47.133
They want it to be perfect.

432
00:13:47.173 --> 00:13:48.914
Weather is the scariest.

433
00:13:48.994 --> 00:13:53.857
Because you can do every bit of prep you can, but you have no control over the weather.

434
00:13:53.897 --> 00:13:56.319
Mother Nature has its own rules.

435
00:13:56.459 --> 00:14:03.243
And we've heard, did you go to one of our mates' weddings up in the Jamboree and it was just torrential?

436
00:14:03.843 --> 00:14:04.143
No.

437
00:14:04.183 --> 00:14:04.544
Bowlesy.

438
00:14:04.944 --> 00:14:06.165
Oh, I remember that day.

439
00:14:06.225 --> 00:14:09.067
It was probably the worst day of weather I've ever seen.

440
00:14:09.127 --> 00:14:09.687
Of the year.

441
00:14:09.787 --> 00:14:10.448
Yeah, yeah.

442
00:14:10.468 --> 00:14:12.369
It was behind our house.

443
00:14:12.429 --> 00:14:21.716
One of the mates from high school had a wedding up the back of our place in the mountains, and it was piercing the whole weekend.

444
00:14:21.876 --> 00:14:22.377
Poor thing.

445
00:14:22.397 --> 00:14:23.377
It's so heavy, man.

446
00:14:23.417 --> 00:14:26.440
Because you got to play in there like five months or maybe even a year in advance.

447
00:14:26.460 --> 00:14:27.841
Yeah, and it cost so much money.

448
00:14:27.861 --> 00:14:29.022
Oh, the money.

449
00:14:29.122 --> 00:14:29.722
I just...

450
00:14:30.222 --> 00:14:30.803
The money that...

451
00:14:31.163 --> 00:14:31.904
is involved with this.

452
00:14:31.944 --> 00:14:32.624
It's ridiculous.

453
00:14:32.844 --> 00:14:33.805
You think what you could do with it.

454
00:14:34.025 --> 00:14:36.307
For one night, it's just crazy.

455
00:14:36.367 --> 00:14:42.671
And the more you put, it's normally the more people put into it, the worse the wedding, the worse they get screwed over.

456
00:14:43.051 --> 00:14:46.293
Because to a bride, weddings mean a lot.

457
00:14:46.814 --> 00:14:50.416
I think that... And they also said for a groom, but way more for a bride.

458
00:14:50.436 --> 00:14:51.537
Well, it's just naturally what a...

459
00:14:52.217 --> 00:14:55.059
a girl from a young age would, it's just what you romanticize about.

460
00:14:55.079 --> 00:14:55.599
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

461
00:14:55.639 --> 00:14:56.780
Not all, but like a lot.

462
00:14:56.860 --> 00:14:57.200
Yeah.

463
00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:58.000
And that's cool.

464
00:14:58.040 --> 00:15:00.802
Like that's like what they look forward to, which is sick.

465
00:15:00.862 --> 00:15:04.104
But that would stress them out so much.

466
00:15:04.124 --> 00:15:11.007
I couldn't imagine thinking that, that being that excited for something your whole entire life to then just- Oh, you got your one moment.

467
00:15:11.088 --> 00:15:12.508
To not know about the weather.

468
00:15:12.628 --> 00:15:12.969
Yeah.

469
00:15:13.209 --> 00:15:13.549
You know?

470
00:15:13.629 --> 00:15:18.852
All right, we got some submissions here from listeners that some are written in and some are voice memos.

471
00:15:19.352 --> 00:15:20.173
Andy.

472
00:15:21.173 --> 00:15:23.854
After the wedding, the bride and groom were locked out of their room.

473
00:15:24.174 --> 00:15:25.794
They had to sleep with the in-laws.

474
00:15:28.215 --> 00:15:30.275
So, like, that's the night when you're meant to get it done.

475
00:15:30.295 --> 00:15:32.696
Imagine if you were, like, really religious.

476
00:15:33.516 --> 00:15:34.256
Get it done.

477
00:15:34.296 --> 00:15:35.377
No, not like that.

478
00:15:35.517 --> 00:15:39.458
But, like, you know, say you're religious, that's your night to break things down.

479
00:15:39.818 --> 00:15:40.718
Get it done.

480
00:15:40.918 --> 00:15:41.478
Well, you know.

481
00:15:41.498 --> 00:15:42.138
What do you mean?

482
00:15:42.158 --> 00:15:45.579
Well, I'm thinking if they're really religious, they mightn't have.

483
00:15:45.599 --> 00:15:47.239
They're probably not.

484
00:15:47.280 --> 00:15:48.120
They might have been.

485
00:15:48.140 --> 00:15:48.560
You don't know.

486
00:15:48.580 --> 00:15:48.700
Yeah.

487
00:15:49.900 --> 00:15:53.362
That was the night to unravel each other.

488
00:15:53.562 --> 00:15:53.802
What?

489
00:15:54.202 --> 00:15:54.703
Dude.

490
00:15:55.143 --> 00:15:57.064
What are we reading a fucking sex novel here?

491
00:15:57.084 --> 00:15:58.945
Yeah, Fifty Shades of Weddings.

492
00:15:58.985 --> 00:15:59.405
Come on.

493
00:16:00.626 --> 00:16:01.506
Get it done.

494
00:16:01.566 --> 00:16:04.008
But like that... Yeah, no, but you do want to get it done.

495
00:16:04.028 --> 00:16:04.668
That's awkward.

496
00:16:04.868 --> 00:16:05.949
But not get it done.

497
00:16:05.969 --> 00:16:07.309
You want to make some sweet tender love.

498
00:16:07.569 --> 00:16:08.030
Oh, yeah.

499
00:16:08.070 --> 00:16:08.590
That's what I mean.

500
00:16:08.610 --> 00:16:10.431
That's like... Yeah, it's not getting it done.

501
00:16:10.451 --> 00:16:11.331
Well, like...

502
00:16:11.412 --> 00:16:11.892
It's like...

503
00:16:13.165 --> 00:16:14.827
Getting it on, I should have said.

504
00:16:14.887 --> 00:16:15.567
Getting it on.

505
00:16:15.627 --> 00:16:16.268
Getting it on.

506
00:16:16.288 --> 00:16:16.849
Getting it on.

507
00:16:16.909 --> 00:16:18.711
Getting it done.

508
00:16:18.891 --> 00:16:20.492
All right, Abby.

509
00:16:21.173 --> 00:16:23.976
So basically I work weddings.

510
00:16:24.176 --> 00:16:28.941
So I waitress at weddings and I've heard many of weird speeches.

511
00:16:29.561 --> 00:16:34.987
But the weirdest I think I've ever heard was from the mother of the groom.

512
00:16:35.807 --> 00:16:40.612
who was going on about how her son is so respectful and how he's an amazing person.

513
00:16:41.152 --> 00:16:47.939
And she went all the way back to when he had his first girlfriend and he came to her to say, I want to start having sex.

514
00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:51.763
The first girlfriend is not the woman he was marrying.

515
00:16:53.202 --> 00:16:57.785
And I was in the middle of the crowd roaming food when she said that and everyone's mouth fell open.

516
00:16:58.165 --> 00:17:08.450
She continued to go on about how she explained to him contraceptive and how you can do it in a respectful manner and how amazing he was all about it in front of everyone.

517
00:17:09.011 --> 00:17:10.912
And it was just silence when she said it.

518
00:17:11.092 --> 00:17:21.498
And then she said how he came back to her afterwards and they spoke about it and she said he was so respectful and, yeah, probably top ten.

519
00:17:22.575 --> 00:17:23.456
weirdest speeches.

520
00:17:24.096 --> 00:17:25.477
Oh, that is awkward.

521
00:17:25.997 --> 00:17:28.119
The worst thing is she had time to prepare that speech.

522
00:17:28.659 --> 00:17:28.979
I know.

523
00:17:29.019 --> 00:17:31.481
Why are you talking about like your son having sex?

524
00:17:31.541 --> 00:17:33.843
For the first time, that's not you.

525
00:17:33.983 --> 00:17:38.446
As like a 16-year-old, but talking about a six-year-old having sex, that's weird.

526
00:17:39.106 --> 00:17:41.108
Oh, dude, let's talk about the speeches.

527
00:17:41.128 --> 00:17:43.049
Like they are so awkward.

528
00:17:43.069 --> 00:17:48.373
Some people just, you know, obviously they're not public speakers and stuff, but I've seen some shocker speeches.

529
00:17:48.653 --> 00:17:49.133
What's the one?

530
00:17:49.173 --> 00:17:50.094
Give me one example.

531
00:17:50.154 --> 00:17:51.875
What's an example of a bad speech?

532
00:17:52.175 --> 00:17:57.538
Oh, just someone that's like... You know when someone tries to make jokes and no one laughs and you just feel that sorry for them?

533
00:17:57.718 --> 00:17:58.058
I know.

534
00:17:58.078 --> 00:18:00.660
And they're so nervous and it's just not landing.

535
00:18:00.800 --> 00:18:02.941
And you just want to go give them a hug.

536
00:18:04.602 --> 00:18:07.484
And the more nervous they get, the worse and worse it gets.

537
00:18:07.504 --> 00:18:10.345
The best speeches are the dads and the pops and shit.

538
00:18:10.526 --> 00:18:10.966
Yeah, I know.

539
00:18:11.206 --> 00:18:13.287
When people aren't trying to be funny, it's so funny.

540
00:18:13.767 --> 00:18:19.911
But some weddings and stuff you go to, it's just you feel like you hear the same speech 50 times.

541
00:18:20.011 --> 00:18:21.132
It's like, just, mate.

542
00:18:21.812 --> 00:18:22.953
Get on with it.

543
00:18:23.013 --> 00:18:24.234
Get a bit of color about you.

544
00:18:24.474 --> 00:18:26.075
The next one's from Ollie.

545
00:18:26.956 --> 00:18:27.316
Alrighty.

546
00:18:27.356 --> 00:18:31.439
So my girlfriend's sister was getting married.

547
00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:35.902
My girlfriend, she was a bridesmaid.

548
00:18:36.522 --> 00:18:40.385
So I, on the Saturday, I caught up with my cousin to kill time.

549
00:18:41.085 --> 00:18:42.086
So we caught up.

550
00:18:42.406 --> 00:18:45.428
She then dropped me back off at the hotel.

551
00:18:46.009 --> 00:18:50.392
And I've gone up to my room expecting no one to be there.

552
00:18:51.057 --> 00:18:56.700
So I scanned in my car and the groom's mum was standing naked at my bed.

553
00:18:57.661 --> 00:19:01.403
And I was that shocked.

554
00:19:01.904 --> 00:19:02.344
Dude.

555
00:19:03.224 --> 00:19:05.306
Thinking, what the fuck is going on here?

556
00:19:05.806 --> 00:19:07.327
Oh, my God.

557
00:19:07.447 --> 00:19:11.670
I apologized a thousand times and then waited out in the hallway.

558
00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:18.854
And she comes out five minutes later apologizing, saying she was just using our shower.

559
00:19:20.115 --> 00:19:20.535
And then...

560
00:19:21.226 --> 00:19:31.850
Five minutes later, five, ten minutes later, I get a message from my girlfriend saying, by the way, the groom's mum is using our shower because the groom's men are getting ready in her room.

561
00:19:33.310 --> 00:19:35.291
And yeah, it was pretty awkward.

562
00:19:40.721 --> 00:20:00.775
that's great that is hilarious dude that's a that's a scary and then that's an awkward waiting from there on out that's oh my god you can't recover from that you cannot recover from that I don't care what anyone says I know what would you rather like walk in on someone naked or someone walking on you naked like what's more awkward being the one naked I'd rather get walked in on

563
00:20:01.912 --> 00:20:02.252
Yeah.

564
00:20:02.433 --> 00:20:02.973
Actually, no, no.

565
00:20:02.993 --> 00:20:03.634
Why would you want that?

566
00:20:03.734 --> 00:20:04.915
That's weird, guys.

567
00:20:05.035 --> 00:20:10.461
But no, I just hate that feeling of them being embarrassed and you're the one that saw it.

568
00:20:10.541 --> 00:20:11.722
It's so awkward.

569
00:20:12.002 --> 00:20:13.183
Oh, Jesus.

570
00:20:13.444 --> 00:20:14.184
Oh, mate.

571
00:20:14.264 --> 00:20:15.325
What do you even do?

572
00:20:15.866 --> 00:20:16.587
Like, what?

573
00:20:17.187 --> 00:20:17.688
No, no.

574
00:20:17.728 --> 00:20:18.529
Oh, man.

575
00:20:19.069 --> 00:20:22.451
Imagine walking in on your mother-in-law or your father-in-law.

576
00:20:22.471 --> 00:20:23.012
Oh, shit.

577
00:20:23.412 --> 00:20:24.072
That's not good.

578
00:20:24.973 --> 00:20:27.875
Like, the next time you sit at dinner, like, for the rest of your life.

579
00:20:28.415 --> 00:20:30.577
It's like, oh, you know, we both know.

580
00:20:30.697 --> 00:20:33.919
Even if you, like, see it for a second, that image never leaves your mind.

581
00:20:33.959 --> 00:20:34.519
No, no, no.

582
00:20:34.539 --> 00:20:36.981
When you're not meant to see it, that image will stay there forever.

583
00:20:37.001 --> 00:20:43.245
You'd have to just go over nude onsen with them for, like, a week straight just to get it really normal, you know?

584
00:20:43.265 --> 00:20:45.407
All right, the next one's from Scotty.

585
00:20:46.360 --> 00:20:49.222
Hey, boys, I had a bit of a mishap at a wedding that I emceed last year.

586
00:20:50.222 --> 00:20:55.445
Key context, not only was it my first ever emceed gig, it was the first wedding I'd ever attended.

587
00:20:56.206 --> 00:20:59.488
It was on a farm that everyone was camping in tents or sleeping in the backs of cars.

588
00:21:01.689 --> 00:21:12.535
Understandably, I was shitting myself going into the speaking role, and I was so stoked for it to be over that I accidentally annihilated a couple too many homebrew margaritas.

589
00:21:12.555 --> 00:21:13.896
Yeah.

590
00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:33.347
Following that, I'm woken up in the morning in a tent that I'm not familiar with, in a bed that I'm not familiar with, and wondering why I was really cold and I was really wet and just could not work out why I was fully clothed until I went outside and I was reliably informed by the owners and occupants of the tent that not only had I...

591
00:21:34.632 --> 00:21:39.215
Pissed all through the tent, including next to the other occupants' heads and into a pot plant.

592
00:21:39.695 --> 00:21:44.998
I then got back into bed and kept pissing myself and fully clothed.

593
00:21:45.398 --> 00:21:49.481
Needless to say, it was a fucking noisy eight-hour drive back home the next day.

594
00:21:49.501 --> 00:21:52.363
Holy shit.

595
00:21:52.683 --> 00:21:54.144
You poor bastard.

596
00:21:54.164 --> 00:21:57.005
Dude, emceeing a wedding would be scary work.

597
00:21:57.306 --> 00:21:58.006
Oh, mate.

598
00:21:58.606 --> 00:21:59.127
Because it's...

599
00:21:59.932 --> 00:22:01.995
You don't enjoy anything until it's done.

600
00:22:02.015 --> 00:22:03.857
Yeah, until it's done.

601
00:22:04.037 --> 00:22:05.219
I'm talking months out.

602
00:22:05.379 --> 00:22:05.900
You're scared.

603
00:22:05.940 --> 00:22:07.742
As soon as I tell you, it's like, oh, far out.

604
00:22:07.902 --> 00:22:09.504
I hope no one asks me to be their emcee.

605
00:22:09.664 --> 00:22:10.165
I know.

606
00:22:10.966 --> 00:22:11.607
Oh, God.

607
00:22:11.647 --> 00:22:12.288
And it will happen.

608
00:22:12.922 --> 00:22:13.503
It will happen.

609
00:22:13.963 --> 00:22:17.846
Like, I mean, out of everyone, we've probably seen like the people that should emcee a freaking wedding.

610
00:22:18.347 --> 00:22:19.688
We talk on a podcast.

611
00:22:19.768 --> 00:22:20.509
Yeah, I know.

612
00:22:20.829 --> 00:22:22.350
But it is just so scary.

613
00:22:22.370 --> 00:22:23.792
No, I just want to attend.

614
00:22:23.852 --> 00:22:24.632
I want to have fun.

615
00:22:24.652 --> 00:22:26.054
I want to celebrate your love.

616
00:22:26.074 --> 00:22:26.914
I don't want to have to talk.

617
00:22:27.375 --> 00:22:28.396
That is hilarious.

618
00:22:28.476 --> 00:22:34.181
And I can see, like, when that is over, the relief, he would have been just like, let's get maggots.

619
00:22:34.321 --> 00:22:35.061
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

620
00:22:35.402 --> 00:22:36.342
He's pissing on people.

621
00:22:37.383 --> 00:22:38.885
All right, next one's from Ethan.

622
00:22:39.285 --> 00:22:43.829
He says, Jack's speech at the wedding of Impractical Jokers.

623
00:22:44.209 --> 00:22:45.570
Oh, mate.

624
00:22:46.091 --> 00:22:47.212
That was heavy.

625
00:22:47.352 --> 00:22:47.712
Yeah.

626
00:22:48.033 --> 00:22:48.813
Oh, my God.

627
00:22:48.833 --> 00:22:49.574
That was good.

628
00:22:49.814 --> 00:22:51.676
And that was one of the first things.

629
00:22:52.136 --> 00:22:52.456
We did.

630
00:22:52.477 --> 00:22:53.137
It was probably the first.

631
00:22:53.317 --> 00:22:54.438
It was the first season.

632
00:22:54.458 --> 00:22:55.679
It was the first punishment, I think.

633
00:22:55.699 --> 00:22:55.960
Yeah, it was.

634
00:22:55.980 --> 00:22:56.780
It was the first punishment.

635
00:22:56.920 --> 00:22:57.661
We went in hard.

636
00:22:58.021 --> 00:22:58.462
Mate.

637
00:22:58.682 --> 00:23:00.463
And that's still one of the most talked about punishments.

638
00:23:01.224 --> 00:23:08.089
It was so awkward and so much you guys didn't... Like so much of everyone that watched the show didn't see.

639
00:23:08.109 --> 00:23:08.510
Yeah.

640
00:23:08.530 --> 00:23:12.172
Because I was out there for a good, what, 40 minutes probably.

641
00:23:12.693 --> 00:23:16.215
And only used... We only used 15 minutes or something.

642
00:23:16.236 --> 00:23:16.336
So...

643
00:23:17.036 --> 00:23:18.458
Yeah, it was so bad.

644
00:23:18.478 --> 00:23:20.740
There was moments where I turned around on the groomsmen and I was like...

645
00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:21.581
Drinking their beer.

646
00:23:21.601 --> 00:23:23.783
Sculling their beers and like, they didn't know who I was.

647
00:23:23.803 --> 00:23:25.064
They just thought I was some idiot.

648
00:23:25.084 --> 00:23:25.825
I was...

649
00:23:26.045 --> 00:23:28.047
The only people that you know were the bride and groom.

650
00:23:28.227 --> 00:23:29.609
Bride and groom, no one else.

651
00:23:30.029 --> 00:23:32.712
So everyone was like, get him off.

652
00:23:32.752 --> 00:23:34.173
Yeah, it was so heavy.

653
00:23:34.213 --> 00:23:34.414
Like...

654
00:23:34.934 --> 00:23:37.676
I was making the worst jokes.

655
00:23:37.976 --> 00:23:45.121
The mother-in-law was looking at me like she actually may kill her first person.

656
00:23:45.181 --> 00:23:47.443
She was like, I'm going to murder you.

657
00:23:47.483 --> 00:23:50.845
And then remember that honey tried to get up and stop me and someone pulled her back down?

658
00:23:50.865 --> 00:23:51.786
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

659
00:23:51.986 --> 00:23:52.506
So brutal.

660
00:23:52.527 --> 00:23:57.110
And then when you got off, when you finished the speech, you like ran into some backyard kitchen.

661
00:23:57.230 --> 00:23:58.030
I went into a kitchen.

662
00:23:58.050 --> 00:23:58.511
Yeah, yeah.

663
00:23:58.551 --> 00:23:59.231
And you're like, help me.

664
00:23:59.251 --> 00:24:00.252
We could just hear him on the finger.

665
00:24:00.552 --> 00:24:01.273
Help me, help me.

666
00:24:02.634 --> 00:24:05.696
So awkward because you're out there alone and they're in a room like way away.

667
00:24:06.156 --> 00:24:06.737
And I was like, help.

668
00:24:06.837 --> 00:24:07.618
I was like, I need help.

669
00:24:07.658 --> 00:24:07.998
I need help.

670
00:24:08.298 --> 00:24:09.659
Hiding in a kitchen with the chefs.

671
00:24:09.679 --> 00:24:11.340
They're like, what is this guy from the wedding doing?

672
00:24:11.360 --> 00:24:12.481
He must be off his head.

673
00:24:13.322 --> 00:24:18.566
And then it got even more awkward because our producer had to come out and tell everyone it was a joke, but the microphone wasn't working.

674
00:24:18.806 --> 00:24:20.027
Oh, that's right.

675
00:24:20.287 --> 00:24:22.669
That was so awkward.

676
00:24:22.689 --> 00:24:24.751
So we had to walk out and try and tell them there was a joke.

677
00:24:25.231 --> 00:24:26.612
And everyone was like, what's going on?

678
00:24:26.632 --> 00:24:27.252
This is our wedding.

679
00:24:27.272 --> 00:24:27.393
Stop.

680
00:24:27.413 --> 00:24:27.513
Stop.

681
00:24:28.073 --> 00:24:29.154
Crushing our wedding.

682
00:24:29.514 --> 00:24:30.475
Oh man, that was bad.

683
00:24:30.495 --> 00:24:31.496
That was so good.

684
00:24:31.516 --> 00:24:32.096
But end up right.

685
00:24:32.116 --> 00:24:34.719
Everyone ended up loving it and we got photos with people and it was fun.

686
00:24:35.079 --> 00:24:36.040
All right, Anonymous.

687
00:24:36.680 --> 00:24:41.604
I was at an Italian wedding and the photographer slept with the bride right before she got married.

688
00:24:41.644 --> 00:24:42.085
What the fuck?

689
00:24:42.145 --> 00:24:44.286
No, that's so fucked up.

690
00:24:44.306 --> 00:24:45.267
No, that's fake.

691
00:24:45.607 --> 00:24:46.588
Is that fucking real?

692
00:24:46.608 --> 00:24:47.709
I hope that's fake.

693
00:24:47.769 --> 00:24:48.410
Is that legit?

694
00:24:48.830 --> 00:24:52.791
I did try and get more information, but they have to stay anonymous.

695
00:24:53.131 --> 00:24:54.412
They couldn't give more details.

696
00:24:54.632 --> 00:24:55.992
When did they find out about this?

697
00:24:56.232 --> 00:24:58.032
I have so many questions.

698
00:24:58.052 --> 00:25:07.295
Can we get in touch with you and you can tell us about it, but we can make your voice sound like not you.

699
00:25:07.415 --> 00:25:07.735
Yeah, yeah.

700
00:25:07.775 --> 00:25:08.555
We can do some things.

701
00:25:08.575 --> 00:25:09.155
Like those FBI movies.

702
00:25:09.175 --> 00:25:10.436
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

703
00:25:10.456 --> 00:25:12.416
Oh, that's so sad if it's real.

704
00:25:12.756 --> 00:25:14.157
That is so shit.

705
00:25:15.038 --> 00:25:16.779
Why would you get fucking married?

706
00:25:16.939 --> 00:25:17.519
Her and him.

707
00:25:17.559 --> 00:25:18.239
What idiots?

708
00:25:18.259 --> 00:25:19.420
Like, what the fuck?

709
00:25:20.080 --> 00:25:26.803
On a wedding day, as if you do that as a photographer, and obviously as a wife, like as a bride, that is crazy.

710
00:25:27.123 --> 00:25:30.984
I've heard, you hear stories of people like, if you're cheating, oh my God.

711
00:25:31.005 --> 00:25:32.005
It's your wedding day.

712
00:25:32.145 --> 00:25:32.505
I know.

713
00:25:32.765 --> 00:25:35.386
Cheating in general, but on your fucking wedding day, what the fuck?

714
00:25:35.506 --> 00:25:36.247
That makes me angry.

715
00:25:36.267 --> 00:25:37.507
I just don't get that, eh?

716
00:25:37.967 --> 00:25:39.128
That's psychotic.

717
00:25:39.648 --> 00:25:41.409
You're actually psychotic if you're doing that shit.

718
00:25:41.429 --> 00:25:42.589
A hundred percent, man.

719
00:25:42.609 --> 00:25:43.109
Fucking hell.

720
00:25:43.229 --> 00:25:43.670
I didn't get it.

721
00:25:43.690 --> 00:25:45.330
Like, did you want to waste all that money?

722
00:25:45.430 --> 00:25:46.791
Or like, why is everyone even here?

723
00:25:46.831 --> 00:25:48.512
Yeah, why are you getting married?

724
00:25:48.832 --> 00:25:50.232
Oh, yuck.

725
00:25:50.432 --> 00:25:51.253
That's insane.

726
00:25:52.133 --> 00:25:53.334
And that, yeah, fuck.

727
00:25:53.354 --> 00:25:54.634
That's bad from both parties there.

728
00:25:55.574 --> 00:25:55.915
All right.

729
00:25:57.135 --> 00:25:58.636
Ellen, we got a little voice memory.

730
00:25:58.656 --> 00:25:59.796
Try and lighten things up a bit.

731
00:25:59.836 --> 00:26:01.057
I have so many questions, eh?

732
00:26:01.217 --> 00:26:01.677
I'm angry.

733
00:26:01.997 --> 00:26:02.317
Same.

734
00:26:02.417 --> 00:26:03.838
I'm like, I just don't get it.

735
00:26:03.898 --> 00:26:04.078
Anyway.

736
00:26:04.098 --> 00:26:04.278
Anyway.

737
00:26:05.112 --> 00:26:06.133
Hello, boys.

738
00:26:06.733 --> 00:26:09.076
I've got an unhinged wedding story for you.

739
00:26:09.096 --> 00:26:13.359
I was at a wedding last year and we get to the speeches.

740
00:26:13.780 --> 00:26:18.584
The father of the bride gets up and he's explaining where his family's from.

741
00:26:18.604 --> 00:26:24.589
And then he's talking about where the groom's family's from and how it might be the same place.

742
00:26:24.609 --> 00:26:24.709
Yeah.

743
00:26:25.710 --> 00:26:31.414
And he says that the bride and groom should get tested just to make sure that they're not related.

744
00:26:31.434 --> 00:26:33.915
The whole room went silent.

745
00:26:33.935 --> 00:26:34.095
Dude.

746
00:26:34.255 --> 00:26:36.396
And he said it another two times.

747
00:26:36.456 --> 00:26:36.737
Dude.

748
00:26:37.692 --> 00:26:38.973
It was so awkward.

749
00:26:39.253 --> 00:26:39.854
What?

750
00:26:40.154 --> 00:26:41.315
Everyone was cringing.

751
00:26:41.335 --> 00:26:53.203
And I think it just proves that you should pre-read your wedding speech or get anyone else to have a look at it before you get up there and say that the bride and groom might be related.

752
00:26:53.223 --> 00:26:56.906
That is... Oh, dude.

753
00:26:56.926 --> 00:26:58.547
That's like ruining your daughter's day.

754
00:26:58.567 --> 00:27:00.829
Your grandparents just don't give a shit, eh?

755
00:27:00.849 --> 00:27:00.949
Yeah.

756
00:27:01.329 --> 00:27:02.892
Was it grandparents or the...

757
00:27:03.012 --> 00:27:04.254
It was the father-in-law.

758
00:27:04.274 --> 00:27:04.534
Father.

759
00:27:04.675 --> 00:27:05.095
Oh, that's wild.

760
00:27:05.115 --> 00:27:09.242
That's like you're ruining... You're like cursing your little daughters.

761
00:27:09.803 --> 00:27:10.824
Like, that's gnarly.

762
00:27:10.845 --> 00:27:11.405
Why would he...

763
00:27:11.746 --> 00:27:13.889
I mean, some families are...

764
00:27:13.909 --> 00:27:14.951
It's double down on the joke.

765
00:27:16.135 --> 00:27:17.556
He doubled down on it.

766
00:27:17.656 --> 00:27:19.376
I mean, he must have been pretty sure.

767
00:27:19.896 --> 00:27:20.717
Yeah.

768
00:27:20.777 --> 00:27:21.157
He knew.

769
00:27:21.277 --> 00:27:21.717
He knew.

770
00:27:21.737 --> 00:27:23.277
He knew things.

771
00:27:23.317 --> 00:27:23.678
Yeah.

772
00:27:23.818 --> 00:27:24.798
You don't just do that.

773
00:27:25.878 --> 00:27:32.481
He knew there's some... Man, that happened back in the day to one of my cousins and this girl.

774
00:27:32.521 --> 00:27:34.121
You'd know both of them.

775
00:27:34.161 --> 00:27:35.001
They started dating.

776
00:27:35.302 --> 00:27:38.123
And then everyone started saying, you guys are related.

777
00:27:38.923 --> 00:27:38.983
Oh.

778
00:27:39.023 --> 00:27:39.543
But they're not.

779
00:27:39.943 --> 00:27:41.484
But everyone started spreading the rumors.

780
00:27:41.504 --> 00:27:42.204
They just broke up.

781
00:27:42.905 --> 00:27:43.625
Oh, that's heavy.

782
00:27:43.646 --> 00:27:44.246
So heavy.

783
00:27:44.266 --> 00:27:45.608
Because they actually made a good relationship.

784
00:27:45.628 --> 00:27:46.249
They just broke up.

785
00:27:46.269 --> 00:27:47.991
They're like, nah, it's too weird now.

786
00:27:48.031 --> 00:27:48.411
Yeah.

787
00:27:48.551 --> 00:27:50.113
Oh, that's heavy.

788
00:27:50.834 --> 00:27:51.575
So brutal.

789
00:27:51.635 --> 00:27:52.116
What?

790
00:27:52.276 --> 00:27:53.037
They were kind of young.

791
00:27:53.057 --> 00:27:54.699
They were probably 18.

792
00:27:54.779 --> 00:27:55.860
Still, that could have been it.

793
00:27:56.361 --> 00:27:58.664
It could have been, but they were maybe cousins.

794
00:27:59.004 --> 00:27:59.405
All right.

795
00:27:59.825 --> 00:28:00.846
And they got a voice memo.

796
00:28:00.887 --> 00:28:01.067
Okay.

797
00:28:01.935 --> 00:28:09.919
Okay, boys, so this crazy wedding story comes from my wedding, but it gets progressively worse at every turn.

798
00:28:10.399 --> 00:28:16.502
So we were 45 minutes late to our own welcome dinner, no biggie, just everyone was sitting there hungry waiting for us.

799
00:28:16.883 --> 00:28:24.907
We had a saxophone player who then pulled out and we ended up with someone who basically had like the equivalent skill of I would say a seven-year-old playing the recorder.

800
00:28:25.867 --> 00:28:32.291
Um, the father of the bride and the groom went to get fans on the morning and were gone for hours with no reception.

801
00:28:32.351 --> 00:28:33.992
Like, we thought they were dead.

802
00:28:34.072 --> 00:28:36.273
And, of course, it was hot as fuck and shock horror.

803
00:28:36.333 --> 00:28:39.055
One of the fans that they went to get didn't actually work.

804
00:28:39.815 --> 00:28:44.638
Um, my cousin's nan, who was a bridesmaid, ended up being rushed to hospital back home.

805
00:28:44.658 --> 00:28:44.758
So...

806
00:28:45.879 --> 00:28:48.881
That side of the family was stressed as because it was a destination wedding.

807
00:28:49.241 --> 00:28:50.942
Holy shit.

808
00:28:50.962 --> 00:28:57.186
Then my grandmother, who wasn't coming to the wedding anyway because she was 90, was in the hospital the week of the wedding.

809
00:28:57.206 --> 00:29:01.789
So the doctors were discussing that she was potentially going to die, but she survived because she is the goat.

810
00:29:01.909 --> 00:29:04.471
And then she was discharged two days before the wedding.

811
00:29:05.031 --> 00:29:06.352
Love that for her and for us.

812
00:29:07.573 --> 00:29:09.054
We booked a Mercedes van.

813
00:29:09.274 --> 00:29:10.474
for the grooms and the groomsmen.

814
00:29:10.494 --> 00:29:12.035
But you know what turned up, guys?

815
00:29:12.675 --> 00:29:17.277
A great wall van with white fluffy seat covers and the boys had black suits.

816
00:29:18.017 --> 00:29:31.881
So the van went on to have a small prank with a guest in the car park of our wedding and the van driver lost her shit and kicked the groom and the groomsmen out of the van into the sweltering heat while they were supposed to be waiting in the van until go time.

817
00:29:32.161 --> 00:29:37.923
So they're sweating their asses off and then their suits are also covered in white fluff from the van seats.

818
00:29:38.743 --> 00:29:48.869
Um, then the groom's cousin's husband didn't make it to the wedding, um, because he got on ketamine the night before and proceeded to shit himself in public.

819
00:29:49.489 --> 00:29:51.550
And he disguised it as food poisoning.

820
00:29:52.291 --> 00:29:56.933
And then found out the following day that my grandmother was rushed back to hospital the day before the wedding.

821
00:29:57.314 --> 00:29:58.454
And that was kept a secret.

822
00:29:58.714 --> 00:30:00.195
So it would not ruin our day.

823
00:30:00.615 --> 00:30:01.676
She's still alive, by the way.

824
00:30:01.836 --> 00:30:03.217
Again, she is the goat.

825
00:30:04.077 --> 00:30:15.566
And then the best man, he broke his hand on the day of the wedding because he caught a random family member doing some very dodgy stuff that is perhaps a little bit too red hot and illegal for the podcast.

826
00:30:15.707 --> 00:30:16.207
Oh, my God.

827
00:30:16.227 --> 00:30:22.312
Anyway, so that doesn't mean that I have the most happy and blessed marriage because of my most cursed wedding.

828
00:30:22.552 --> 00:30:23.813
I do not know what will.

829
00:30:24.233 --> 00:30:24.674
Love you, boys.

830
00:30:24.694 --> 00:30:25.014
Love the pod.

831
00:30:25.034 --> 00:30:25.214
Love you.

832
00:30:25.825 --> 00:30:28.086
Dude, there's no point getting married at that point.

833
00:30:28.106 --> 00:30:29.287
I don't even know what to say.

834
00:30:29.867 --> 00:30:32.128
At that point, you just call it quits.

835
00:30:32.188 --> 00:30:34.469
Something's not working out.

836
00:30:35.470 --> 00:30:38.592
God's trying everything he can to not let us be together.

837
00:30:38.612 --> 00:30:41.473
But maybe a thousand negatives equal a plus.

838
00:30:43.894 --> 00:30:44.615
You know what I mean?

839
00:30:44.795 --> 00:30:47.156
Like, wait, no, I don't know what you mean.

840
00:30:47.296 --> 00:30:48.937
Two negatives equal a plus, right?

841
00:30:49.817 --> 00:30:50.117
Is that true?

842
00:30:50.137 --> 00:30:51.058
Two wrongs equal a right.

843
00:30:52.549 --> 00:30:53.209
Oh, is that what they say?

844
00:30:53.409 --> 00:30:54.910
Lulu, just back me up.

845
00:30:55.130 --> 00:30:56.310
Two negative equals a right.

846
00:30:56.490 --> 00:30:56.770
Don't they?

847
00:30:56.790 --> 00:30:57.711
Two negative equals a wrong.

848
00:30:57.731 --> 00:30:58.771
Two pluses, two minuses.

849
00:30:58.851 --> 00:31:00.091
I think the famous saying is.

850
00:31:00.171 --> 00:31:01.172
Two minuses equal a plus.

851
00:31:01.292 --> 00:31:03.372
Two wrongs don't equal a right.

852
00:31:03.452 --> 00:31:07.914
Like the famous saying is that's not a good thing to live by.

853
00:31:07.934 --> 00:31:10.975
I don't know what math you did, but there is something here.

854
00:31:11.035 --> 00:31:11.915
That's two negative.

855
00:31:12.315 --> 00:31:12.955
Oh, in math.

856
00:31:13.015 --> 00:31:13.235
In math.

857
00:31:13.275 --> 00:31:13.815
In life.

858
00:31:13.835 --> 00:31:15.376
Oh, I'm smarter than you, Lulu.

859
00:31:15.436 --> 00:31:15.876
Take that.

860
00:31:16.436 --> 00:31:17.636
Yeah, I dropped maths in your tent.

861
00:31:17.656 --> 00:31:18.177
That's fine.

862
00:31:18.217 --> 00:31:20.117
Two negatives in math equal to write.

863
00:31:20.137 --> 00:31:21.597
Well, there's a thousand.

864
00:31:21.617 --> 00:31:22.178
A thousand.

865
00:31:22.278 --> 00:31:23.498
It's like, fuck, you're on.

866
00:31:23.578 --> 00:31:23.918
Okay.

867
00:31:24.058 --> 00:31:24.478
You're cooking.

868
00:31:24.858 --> 00:31:26.359
It's like a tsunami of writes.

869
00:31:26.579 --> 00:31:26.759
Yeah.

870
00:31:27.199 --> 00:31:27.619
Dude.

871
00:31:27.639 --> 00:31:28.879
But that's just, yeah.

872
00:31:28.979 --> 00:31:35.461
The gnarliest thing is one of his best men obviously breaking his hand on someone because they must have been doing something illegal.

873
00:31:36.709 --> 00:31:38.490
Did you think there was a fight?

874
00:31:38.550 --> 00:31:39.950
Yeah, definitely a fight.

875
00:31:39.990 --> 00:31:41.951
Man, that's rough.

876
00:31:42.391 --> 00:31:43.432
That poor bride.

877
00:31:43.732 --> 00:31:45.493
Why didn't we take a film crew out there?

878
00:31:46.053 --> 00:31:47.694
That's a star show.

879
00:31:47.714 --> 00:31:50.075
That is unbelievable.

880
00:31:50.095 --> 00:31:52.296
Well, it sounds like they're still kicking.

881
00:31:52.396 --> 00:31:54.357
We need to investigate this family.

882
00:31:54.437 --> 00:31:55.257
Who are they?

883
00:31:55.517 --> 00:31:56.878
They run bike gangs or what?

884
00:31:57.158 --> 00:31:58.398
There's something going on with this family.

885
00:31:58.418 --> 00:31:59.159
Where are they?

886
00:31:59.179 --> 00:32:00.439
I was picturing Griffith.

887
00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:01.380
Griffith.

888
00:32:01.540 --> 00:32:02.000
Griffith.

889
00:32:02.818 --> 00:32:03.698
Like something out there.

890
00:32:03.718 --> 00:32:04.238
Same, yeah.

891
00:32:04.278 --> 00:32:05.739
Somewhere I'm thinking bits.

892
00:32:06.439 --> 00:32:10.480
It's still like rural, but it's still suburbia-ish.

893
00:32:10.721 --> 00:32:13.681
If your wedding was to have a mistake at it, what do you reckon it'd be?

894
00:32:13.701 --> 00:32:14.982
I don't know.

895
00:32:15.082 --> 00:32:15.442
Are you?

896
00:32:15.462 --> 00:32:16.782
I can't think.

897
00:32:16.802 --> 00:32:21.504
I mean, I'm probably going to get married in Greece.

898
00:32:21.544 --> 00:32:22.624
Nothing can go wrong there.

899
00:32:23.625 --> 00:32:26.986
So maybe like the boats won't turn.

900
00:32:27.006 --> 00:32:28.526
Maybe the sewerage will fuck up.

901
00:32:28.606 --> 00:32:29.346
Maybe that's what it'd be.

902
00:32:29.366 --> 00:32:31.287
Imagine shitting yourself.

903
00:32:32.352 --> 00:32:33.593
Anyway, I don't know why we're talking about this.

904
00:32:34.113 --> 00:32:35.193
You know what would go wrong for me?

905
00:32:35.374 --> 00:32:39.976
I'd try and like, I would be like... Oh, you'd say some speech that goes too far.

906
00:32:39.996 --> 00:32:44.318
Yeah, I'd get too pissed and start business chatting like my father-in-law or some shit.

907
00:32:44.398 --> 00:32:44.618
Yeah.

908
00:32:44.698 --> 00:32:45.539
And you'd just sue me.

909
00:32:46.259 --> 00:32:54.403
Or I'd try and like do a weird like piggyback thing or dance or something in the moment and just not be thinking straight and just... Drop Eden.

910
00:32:54.423 --> 00:32:55.784
Yeah, she'd go straight over.

911
00:32:55.804 --> 00:32:55.904
Yeah.

912
00:32:56.653 --> 00:32:57.274
What about you?

913
00:32:57.294 --> 00:33:00.498
So you're getting married soon, right?

914
00:33:00.598 --> 00:33:01.739
I'm not, but...

915
00:33:01.779 --> 00:33:02.160
This year?

916
00:33:03.121 --> 00:33:04.462
No, no plans yet.

917
00:33:04.482 --> 00:33:06.264
Didn't you say... You just might have spoiled them for me.

918
00:33:06.385 --> 00:33:07.466
When you... No, no.

919
00:33:07.826 --> 00:33:08.948
Would you tell me if you're getting married?

920
00:33:09.588 --> 00:33:10.289
If I'm going to propose?

921
00:33:10.309 --> 00:33:10.509
Yeah.

922
00:33:10.589 --> 00:33:11.270
Yeah, for sure.

923
00:33:11.290 --> 00:33:11.591
Would you?

924
00:33:11.851 --> 00:33:12.031
Yeah.

925
00:33:12.051 --> 00:33:12.151
Good.

926
00:33:12.271 --> 00:33:12.472
Good.

927
00:33:12.912 --> 00:33:13.212
Would you?

928
00:33:13.572 --> 00:33:14.173
Yeah, of course.

929
00:33:14.253 --> 00:33:14.453
Yeah.

930
00:33:14.653 --> 00:33:16.274
But like, Grant didn't tell me.

931
00:33:16.474 --> 00:33:16.754
I know.

932
00:33:16.774 --> 00:33:17.114
He told you.

933
00:33:17.334 --> 00:33:17.634
I know.

934
00:33:17.654 --> 00:33:18.795
So go with that.

935
00:33:18.875 --> 00:33:19.655
I'd tell my friends.

936
00:33:19.735 --> 00:33:20.356
I'd tell, yeah.

937
00:33:20.496 --> 00:33:21.096
Fucking hell.

938
00:33:21.236 --> 00:33:22.396
I'd tell a few of my mates for sure.

939
00:33:22.416 --> 00:33:22.597
Yeah.

940
00:33:22.837 --> 00:33:24.157
I'd probably tell all my close mates actually.

941
00:33:24.177 --> 00:33:24.758
It's so heavy.

942
00:33:24.778 --> 00:33:27.799
Because if you don't tell someone, it's like, why aren't I close enough?

943
00:33:27.879 --> 00:33:28.539
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

944
00:33:28.779 --> 00:33:29.240
It's Grant.

945
00:33:29.260 --> 00:33:29.860
That's how I feel.

946
00:33:30.220 --> 00:33:33.642
But Grant only told me because he was trying to help with the ring.

947
00:33:34.142 --> 00:33:35.163
Why did he ask you?

948
00:33:35.183 --> 00:33:35.743
I don't know.

949
00:33:35.783 --> 00:33:36.403
I think he knows.

950
00:33:36.463 --> 00:33:40.105
Out of all our mates, I'd probably know more about that stuff than anyone.

951
00:33:40.125 --> 00:33:41.646
I don't know for some reason.

952
00:33:41.666 --> 00:33:42.566
Why do you know about that?

953
00:33:42.606 --> 00:33:44.888
Well, I just feel like I've got to go fuck it.

954
00:33:44.908 --> 00:33:46.829
He must think I've got to wear good clothes.

955
00:33:47.629 --> 00:33:49.310
I have a good sense of style or something.

956
00:33:49.330 --> 00:33:51.311
Oh, he knows you're being looking yourself.

957
00:33:51.951 --> 00:33:52.311
Oh, my God.

958
00:33:52.331 --> 00:33:52.952
Are you getting married?

959
00:33:53.932 --> 00:33:54.492
I'll just let you know.

960
00:33:55.193 --> 00:33:57.394
Will you let everyone else know on the podcast?

961
00:33:58.689 --> 00:33:59.631
When it happens.

962
00:33:59.712 --> 00:34:00.694
Since before or not?

963
00:34:00.754 --> 00:34:02.699
No, because then Sarah will probably find out.

964
00:34:02.919 --> 00:34:03.922
Why are we talking about this?

965
00:34:04.142 --> 00:34:05.105
We're only 31.

966
00:34:06.107 --> 00:34:08.373
How long do you think you need to be with someone to propose?

967
00:34:11.433 --> 00:34:11.973
How many years?

968
00:34:12.794 --> 00:34:13.514
Three.

969
00:34:14.414 --> 00:34:15.075
I think three.

970
00:34:15.535 --> 00:34:15.795
Three.

971
00:34:16.395 --> 00:34:19.657
I think you don't really know someone within the first two years.

972
00:34:19.917 --> 00:34:22.858
Three years is November for me and Sarah.

973
00:34:23.359 --> 00:34:24.099
Three years together.

974
00:34:24.179 --> 00:34:24.639
This year.

975
00:34:24.979 --> 00:34:25.200
Yeah.

976
00:34:25.280 --> 00:34:26.140
That's fast.

977
00:34:26.160 --> 00:34:27.661
So that's not far from you and Eden.

978
00:34:28.501 --> 00:34:28.661
Yeah.

979
00:34:28.721 --> 00:34:30.082
I don't think it matters.

980
00:34:30.142 --> 00:34:30.402
I mean.

981
00:34:30.542 --> 00:34:31.503
Yeah, there's no.

982
00:34:31.643 --> 00:34:34.424
I don't think there's a time where it matters after.

983
00:34:35.638 --> 00:34:37.480
time would be two years, minimum.

984
00:34:37.861 --> 00:34:41.645
Because I know people get married before that and they live happily ever after, but I think it's kind of rare.

985
00:34:41.665 --> 00:34:42.085
Yeah, it's rare.

986
00:34:42.105 --> 00:34:50.294
And I don't think you know someone properly that actually deep down know every bit of their values and everything about them.

987
00:34:51.155 --> 00:34:51.956
Within two years.

988
00:34:51.996 --> 00:34:55.898
And you really need to get over the honeymoon stage.

989
00:34:55.918 --> 00:35:01.601
You really need to know what it's like to live in a time where it's not always exciting.

990
00:35:01.621 --> 00:35:06.063
And you do go through lulls of periods of life where someone might not be stoked.

991
00:35:06.123 --> 00:35:12.827
And you need to go through all different types of ways of living and life together before you're going to do it forever.

992
00:35:12.907 --> 00:35:13.167
Yeah.

993
00:35:14.307 --> 00:35:15.008
But it's coming up.

994
00:35:15.348 --> 00:35:16.028
No, it's not.

995
00:35:16.148 --> 00:35:16.729
It's coming up.

996
00:35:17.009 --> 00:35:18.049
It is coming up for the family.

997
00:35:18.089 --> 00:35:19.070
Three years is coming up.

998
00:35:20.702 --> 00:35:25.345
You've gone over to you, Mark, so hey, get that little wobbly knee sorted.

999
00:35:25.785 --> 00:35:26.746
Strap that thing in.

1000
00:35:31.949 --> 00:35:32.649
What time is it?

1001
00:35:36.872 --> 00:35:39.894
It's time.

1002
00:35:40.658 --> 00:35:48.887
For the DMs.

1003
00:35:49.768 --> 00:35:50.148
Wow.

1004
00:35:50.168 --> 00:35:51.690
That's nice.

1005
00:35:51.710 --> 00:35:52.611
Sounded good in the headphones.

1006
00:35:52.631 --> 00:35:54.693
I don't know what that sounds like in yours.

1007
00:35:56.555 --> 00:35:57.276
But I'll take it.

1008
00:35:57.416 --> 00:35:57.857
Timmy.

1009
00:35:58.357 --> 00:35:58.878
Hey, fellas.

1010
00:35:58.918 --> 00:35:59.538
Love the poll.

1011
00:35:59.899 --> 00:36:00.480
Timmy.

1012
00:36:00.580 --> 00:36:00.940
Timmy.

1013
00:36:01.200 --> 00:36:02.001
Remember that's the outpouring.

1014
00:36:02.021 --> 00:36:02.241
Sorry.

1015
00:36:02.362 --> 00:36:02.642
Keep going.

1016
00:36:02.862 --> 00:36:03.383
Hey, fellas.

1017
00:36:03.423 --> 00:36:03.963
Love the pod.

1018
00:36:04.023 --> 00:36:04.724
Just a quick one.

1019
00:36:04.984 --> 00:36:06.706
I'm 20 and still a virgin.

1020
00:36:07.167 --> 00:36:07.587
Fuck me.

1021
00:36:07.607 --> 00:36:08.728
This is cringe to write.

1022
00:36:08.748 --> 00:36:09.469
Why are you laughing?

1023
00:36:09.970 --> 00:36:10.931
You started laughing.

1024
00:36:10.991 --> 00:36:12.432
That's not funny at all.

1025
00:36:12.613 --> 00:36:13.033
No, it's not.

1026
00:36:13.093 --> 00:36:13.894
It's sweet.

1027
00:36:14.134 --> 00:36:16.657
Anyway, what's some advice to get over the hump?

1028
00:36:17.117 --> 00:36:21.082
Plus, why did you boys decide to not name the Epps dedicated to etc.

1029
00:36:21.062 --> 00:36:21.082
?

1030
00:36:22.423 --> 00:36:23.604
Holy crap, my man.

1031
00:36:23.764 --> 00:36:24.404
My man, Timmy.

1032
00:36:25.225 --> 00:36:27.626
How is he getting it done, as some would say?

1033
00:36:27.646 --> 00:36:28.907
How is he getting it done?

1034
00:36:28.927 --> 00:36:30.488
And also, there's nothing to be worried about.

1035
00:36:30.648 --> 00:36:31.168
20 is young.

1036
00:36:31.348 --> 00:36:31.548
No.

1037
00:36:31.688 --> 00:36:32.409
And who cares?

1038
00:36:32.789 --> 00:36:33.149
Fuck it.

1039
00:36:33.269 --> 00:36:34.190
But it's so scary.

1040
00:36:34.270 --> 00:36:35.230
It's scary, man.

1041
00:36:35.370 --> 00:36:39.292
When you're getting older, it just puts way more pressure and pressure on you.

1042
00:36:39.332 --> 00:36:40.913
But, Timmy, it's fine.

1043
00:36:40.953 --> 00:36:42.334
It's actually really respectable.

1044
00:36:42.734 --> 00:36:44.835
Screw God, I'm still a virgin at 20.

1045
00:36:45.236 --> 00:36:46.797
Fuck me, this is cringe to write.

1046
00:36:46.857 --> 00:36:48.217
Oh, that's so good.

1047
00:36:48.237 --> 00:36:49.378
Timmy, we got you, Timmy.

1048
00:36:49.578 --> 00:36:57.167
You get rewarded for putting yourself out there, and I'll tell you what, there might be something good coming your way after you wrote that because that is ballsy.

1049
00:36:57.207 --> 00:36:57.907
You're being brave.

1050
00:36:57.927 --> 00:36:59.289
You're putting yourself out into the universe.

1051
00:36:59.930 --> 00:37:02.893
I think it's really hard.

1052
00:37:03.293 --> 00:37:07.358
It depends where your confidence is at because you need to talk to...

1053
00:37:08.803 --> 00:37:11.404
You know, it's hard with the confidence thing.

1054
00:37:11.644 --> 00:37:14.764
Well, I mean, I don't know.

1055
00:37:14.784 --> 00:37:20.126
I don't really know the tips because I did it in a way of just like, oh, no, I'm not going to go anymore into that.

1056
00:37:20.446 --> 00:37:22.326
Don't go into it.

1057
00:37:22.406 --> 00:37:23.506
No, no, I'm too scared.

1058
00:37:23.526 --> 00:37:25.107
There's too many cancel police out there, eh?

1059
00:37:25.167 --> 00:37:27.467
No, but like when you're young, you just want to get it.

1060
00:37:27.487 --> 00:37:28.287
I just wanted to do it.

1061
00:37:28.307 --> 00:37:29.368
Yeah, for sure.

1062
00:37:29.388 --> 00:37:31.548
You just want to do it so you can say you're not a virgin.

1063
00:37:31.568 --> 00:37:33.669
Yeah, so I don't think that's a good way to do it.

1064
00:37:34.029 --> 00:37:34.209
No.

1065
00:37:34.229 --> 00:37:35.309
Because it's not that...

1066
00:37:35.789 --> 00:37:36.269
Great.

1067
00:37:36.289 --> 00:37:36.810
Yeah, exactly.

1068
00:37:37.050 --> 00:37:38.291
Find that meaningful one.

1069
00:37:38.671 --> 00:37:39.352
It's no rush.

1070
00:37:39.372 --> 00:37:40.312
There's no rush to it.

1071
00:37:40.813 --> 00:37:45.296
Honestly, it could be kind of like a, if you get out of a bar, it's like, oh my God, he's a virgin.

1072
00:37:45.316 --> 00:37:46.477
Like, you're pure.

1073
00:37:46.577 --> 00:37:46.877
It's a flex.

1074
00:37:46.897 --> 00:37:47.637
You're a pure breed.

1075
00:37:47.697 --> 00:37:48.038
Yeah.

1076
00:37:48.058 --> 00:37:49.359
There's not many of you out there anymore.

1077
00:37:49.379 --> 00:37:52.981
Like, at the bar, they'd be like, have you seen the pure breed walk through?

1078
00:37:53.041 --> 00:37:53.742
Yeah, yeah.

1079
00:37:53.862 --> 00:37:54.722
He's like a horse.

1080
00:37:54.762 --> 00:37:54.923
Yeah.

1081
00:37:54.943 --> 00:37:55.743
Like a big stallion.

1082
00:37:55.763 --> 00:37:56.444
Holy doly.

1083
00:37:56.464 --> 00:37:57.224
Timmy the stallion.

1084
00:37:57.244 --> 00:37:57.905
Timmy Pax.

1085
00:37:58.712 --> 00:38:00.413
Forget Megan Thee Stallion, it's Timmy Thee Stallion.

1086
00:38:00.433 --> 00:38:01.493
Holy shit.

1087
00:38:01.933 --> 00:38:02.253
Yeah.

1088
00:38:02.674 --> 00:38:04.394
And it's like someone without tattoos.

1089
00:38:04.474 --> 00:38:05.355
It's like, wow.

1090
00:38:05.495 --> 00:38:06.095
Yeah, yeah.

1091
00:38:06.115 --> 00:38:06.935
You're clean skin.

1092
00:38:07.115 --> 00:38:09.396
And also, I hope that helps.

1093
00:38:09.416 --> 00:38:11.497
I don't know if it would, but I hope that helps.

1094
00:38:11.897 --> 00:38:18.760
But also, the reason we don't do the episodes dedicated to is because… We thought it was time for a change as well.

1095
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:19.820
Like, it's just like…

1096
00:38:21.298 --> 00:38:22.800
I kind of regret doing that.

1097
00:38:23.020 --> 00:38:23.360
You reckon?

1098
00:38:23.441 --> 00:38:24.422
I like the dedicated to.

1099
00:38:24.642 --> 00:38:24.942
Same.

1100
00:38:25.543 --> 00:38:27.204
But you know, like you can't... You got to evolve.

1101
00:38:27.265 --> 00:38:28.045
You got to evolve.

1102
00:38:28.366 --> 00:38:32.770
You got to do... You got to adapt and innovate and do what you feel right.

1103
00:38:32.790 --> 00:38:35.253
And sometimes you got to make mistakes to know they were mistakes.

1104
00:38:35.273 --> 00:38:36.614
Maybe it was a mistake, but maybe it wasn't.

1105
00:38:36.634 --> 00:38:36.955
I don't know.

1106
00:38:36.975 --> 00:38:39.557
The reason we don't do dedicated to anymore, the truth is it had...

1107
00:38:40.423 --> 00:38:44.805
It felt like it had juju about us feeling like another two-year break.

1108
00:38:45.025 --> 00:38:46.646
We're like, we can't have that lingering on us.

1109
00:38:47.086 --> 00:38:48.587
So we had to change a few things up.

1110
00:38:48.787 --> 00:38:49.427
Push past it.

1111
00:38:49.487 --> 00:38:51.488
Push through that juju, you know?

1112
00:38:52.048 --> 00:38:58.691
Also, we had a lot of... We have gotten and still do get a lot of dams about the music change in the episode.

1113
00:38:59.191 --> 00:39:01.472
Guys, it wasn't our choice.

1114
00:39:02.053 --> 00:39:03.433
It was a licensing thing.

1115
00:39:03.713 --> 00:39:07.175
It's bloody boring legal chat, but we couldn't.

1116
00:39:07.595 --> 00:39:08.095
So, hey...

1117
00:39:09.556 --> 00:39:10.357
I don't mind the new one.

1118
00:39:10.837 --> 00:39:16.822
Hey, we're new, we adapt, we... We innovate, we stay strong, and we...

1119
00:39:16.982 --> 00:39:19.163
It's not that... Look, it's not that far off the original.

1120
00:39:19.404 --> 00:39:19.624
Yeah.

1121
00:39:19.964 --> 00:39:20.264
All right.

1122
00:39:20.564 --> 00:39:21.165
Anyway, moving on.

1123
00:39:21.265 --> 00:39:25.048
Ashley's got a little voice note here for us, for some first aid advice.

1124
00:39:26.023 --> 00:39:28.746
Okay, boys, I have a mental hookup story for you.

1125
00:39:29.527 --> 00:39:40.518
One time I was talking to this guy and finally went over to his house, which for starters, he just sat there playing his PlayStation for two hours, which is fair, but then we go to his bedroom, have a good old time, and this is where it gets weird.

1126
00:39:41.239 --> 00:39:45.984
He then says he's going to go get dinner and leaves me in his bed and goes to his car and drives off.

1127
00:39:46.464 --> 00:39:48.486
Didn't even ask if I wanted anything, by the way.

1128
00:39:49.367 --> 00:39:53.770
He left me at his house for about an hour and it was so late I decided to just go to sleep.

1129
00:39:53.950 --> 00:39:54.190
What?

1130
00:39:54.471 --> 00:39:59.714
I then wake up to him sitting with his legs crossed on the edge of the bed staring at me with his bedroom light on.

1131
00:40:00.395 --> 00:40:06.059
I sat there in silence when he finally says, I'm going to take you home now and didn't say one word in the car taking me home.

1132
00:40:06.779 --> 00:40:10.742
Then once we get to my house, he said he wanted to see me again the next day.

1133
00:40:11.182 --> 00:40:12.423
Is this strange or normal?

1134
00:40:13.284 --> 00:40:14.525
What the fuck?

1135
00:40:15.437 --> 00:40:16.218
Fucking hell.

1136
00:40:16.858 --> 00:40:18.339
That's fucking freaky.

1137
00:40:18.379 --> 00:40:19.860
I'm getting scared, hey.

1138
00:40:20.200 --> 00:40:23.403
Imagine waking up to someone crossing their legs on the bed looking at you.

1139
00:40:23.643 --> 00:40:24.143
Fuck.

1140
00:40:24.183 --> 00:40:25.024
That's like Dexter.

1141
00:40:25.344 --> 00:40:26.885
That's weird.

1142
00:40:26.905 --> 00:40:28.346
That's so odd.

1143
00:40:28.386 --> 00:40:29.587
That's red flag, I reckon.

1144
00:40:29.667 --> 00:40:30.368
Red, mate.

1145
00:40:30.448 --> 00:40:31.128
That's black.

1146
00:40:31.168 --> 00:40:31.629
Yeah.

1147
00:40:31.709 --> 00:40:33.750
It's not even on the fucking color spectrum.

1148
00:40:33.770 --> 00:40:35.651
It's taken off for an hour.

1149
00:40:35.671 --> 00:40:36.452
Fuck that shit.

1150
00:40:36.472 --> 00:40:37.293
That's weird.

1151
00:40:37.613 --> 00:40:43.417
Wait, I'm fully... Say he... She woke up to him having his legs crossed on the bed looking at her?

1152
00:40:43.557 --> 00:40:44.617
Yeah, we have a light.

1153
00:40:44.697 --> 00:40:46.218
His bed light pointed at her.

1154
00:40:46.398 --> 00:40:46.798
Dude!

1155
00:40:46.958 --> 00:40:48.618
And then he took her home in the middle of the night.

1156
00:40:48.718 --> 00:40:48.958
What?

1157
00:40:48.978 --> 00:40:50.939
This guy's a freak.

1158
00:40:52.039 --> 00:40:52.879
Sorry, don't have to say.

1159
00:40:53.079 --> 00:40:53.939
Freaking the sheets.

1160
00:40:54.499 --> 00:40:54.859
How?

1161
00:40:54.999 --> 00:40:56.000
What's the go?

1162
00:40:56.200 --> 00:41:03.141
I love hearing these stories, Dave, because it's just baffling these people that are out there in the wild.

1163
00:41:03.181 --> 00:41:03.501
Oh, yeah.

1164
00:41:03.521 --> 00:41:03.921
Doing these things.

1165
00:41:03.941 --> 00:41:04.942
They're out there, all right.

1166
00:41:05.502 --> 00:41:06.862
It's just like mind-blowing.

1167
00:41:06.882 --> 00:41:08.002
I feel sorry for you, Ashley.

1168
00:41:08.022 --> 00:41:09.623
Maybe you're all right.

1169
00:41:09.743 --> 00:41:10.343
Yeah, I would know.

1170
00:41:10.363 --> 00:41:11.103
I'm going back there.

1171
00:41:11.363 --> 00:41:11.623
Okay.

1172
00:41:12.973 --> 00:41:17.255
Sarah, in capitals, why is Jack barefoot every app?

1173
00:41:18.076 --> 00:41:21.318
I hate the sight of Jack wiggling his toes every app on YouTube.

1174
00:41:21.698 --> 00:41:23.399
Put some fucking shoes on, brother.

1175
00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:26.020
Go to the shoe shop.

1176
00:41:26.700 --> 00:41:27.861
Why he wiggle like that?

1177
00:41:29.102 --> 00:41:30.462
Is this my girlfriend?

1178
00:41:30.482 --> 00:41:31.783
My girlfriend, Sarah, says the same thing.

1179
00:41:31.803 --> 00:41:32.704
She's like, yuck.

1180
00:41:32.744 --> 00:41:34.124
Why does Jack always?

1181
00:41:34.485 --> 00:41:34.825
You do.

1182
00:41:34.845 --> 00:41:36.065
You're like barefoot going on this.

1183
00:41:36.486 --> 00:41:37.286
What's wrong with it?

1184
00:41:37.326 --> 00:41:38.026
And I'm barefoot today.

1185
00:41:38.086 --> 00:41:38.387
I'm Australian.

1186
00:41:38.407 --> 00:41:38.787
I'm Australian.

1187
00:41:39.643 --> 00:41:40.503
What do you want me to do?

1188
00:41:41.444 --> 00:41:42.244
I'm on the rug.

1189
00:41:42.264 --> 00:41:43.045
This rug is that...

1190
00:41:43.225 --> 00:41:46.166
It's funny because I'm barefoot right now and it's that good.

1191
00:41:46.566 --> 00:41:48.047
Falcon has dirty feet.

1192
00:41:48.267 --> 00:41:51.569
Yeah, I've actually had fungs on for this ep and... Yuck, man.

1193
00:41:51.589 --> 00:41:52.949
I'm barefoot for a bit.

1194
00:41:53.009 --> 00:41:53.650
Oh, come on.

1195
00:41:53.670 --> 00:41:54.790
Yours are that rank.

1196
00:41:54.810 --> 00:41:55.650
No, no, no.

1197
00:41:55.671 --> 00:41:56.711
Look at your big toe.

1198
00:41:56.731 --> 00:41:57.691
That's weird.

1199
00:41:57.731 --> 00:41:58.392
It's that big.

1200
00:41:58.432 --> 00:42:00.013
Dude, you have Loch Ness feet.

1201
00:42:00.073 --> 00:42:01.573
Your feet are so odd.

1202
00:42:01.593 --> 00:42:03.754
I'm feet shaming, but I'm sorry.

1203
00:42:03.774 --> 00:42:04.214
No, no.

1204
00:42:04.235 --> 00:42:04.655
Go for it.

1205
00:42:05.915 --> 00:42:06.916
We'll go bang for bang here.

1206
00:42:06.936 --> 00:42:07.936
Let's go bang for bang.

1207
00:42:07.956 --> 00:42:09.137
But they shouldn't be out.

1208
00:42:09.697 --> 00:42:11.418
No, mine are okay.

1209
00:42:11.518 --> 00:42:12.158
No, you know what?

1210
00:42:12.238 --> 00:42:12.759
My feet...

1211
00:42:12.779 --> 00:42:13.699
Your feet are so dirty.

1212
00:42:13.719 --> 00:42:16.640
My feet look more inviting and softer.

1213
00:42:17.121 --> 00:42:19.582
If my feet were people, yours are like Voldemort.

1214
00:42:19.602 --> 00:42:23.344
They're white and veiny and just real vegan.

1215
00:42:23.984 --> 00:42:26.185
Yours have just the worst hair on them.

1216
00:42:26.265 --> 00:42:26.966
I can't get over it.

1217
00:42:26.986 --> 00:42:27.846
Yeah, but it's kind of cute.

1218
00:42:27.866 --> 00:42:28.506
They're friendly.

1219
00:42:28.526 --> 00:42:30.347
They're like a fur baby.

1220
00:42:30.367 --> 00:42:32.188
They're like a little possum.

1221
00:42:32.248 --> 00:42:33.209
Dude, the hair going...

1222
00:42:33.929 --> 00:42:36.871
across all your toes is so gross.

1223
00:42:36.912 --> 00:42:37.932
Yeah, I got a little hairy.

1224
00:42:37.952 --> 00:42:39.654
I got a little hobbit feet, but they're real short.

1225
00:42:39.674 --> 00:42:40.354
They need to be lasered.

1226
00:42:40.374 --> 00:42:43.737
And they're like, they're just... Nah, they're so rank.

1227
00:42:43.897 --> 00:42:46.219
I get a lot of shit for my feet, but they're cute.

1228
00:42:46.379 --> 00:42:47.480
What's that toe doing?

1229
00:42:47.780 --> 00:42:49.081
Look at that thing, man.

1230
00:42:49.101 --> 00:42:50.202
They're small little like possums.

1231
00:42:50.242 --> 00:42:50.823
What's that doing?

1232
00:42:50.883 --> 00:42:52.484
That's underneath your other toe.

1233
00:42:52.524 --> 00:42:53.365
It's underneath it.

1234
00:42:53.545 --> 00:42:55.106
Yeah, yours are lopsided as well.

1235
00:42:55.126 --> 00:42:55.927
No, one are perfect.

1236
00:42:56.127 --> 00:42:56.808
Are you serious?

1237
00:42:57.068 --> 00:42:57.628
One are perfect.

1238
00:42:57.728 --> 00:43:01.111
That looks like one of those fish, those ugly fish that are like boo.

1239
00:43:01.652 --> 00:43:02.532
Those groper fish.

1240
00:43:03.253 --> 00:43:04.274
Nah, man.

1241
00:43:04.354 --> 00:43:09.238
That thing, your wedding finger fucking toe has shit to say.

1242
00:43:09.398 --> 00:43:10.839
Yeah.

1243
00:43:11.560 --> 00:43:12.740
It's a bit like a club, isn't it?

1244
00:43:12.760 --> 00:43:13.161
That is.

1245
00:43:13.541 --> 00:43:14.802
It looks like a club.

1246
00:43:14.822 --> 00:43:15.182
No, that is.

1247
00:43:15.282 --> 00:43:16.423
It looks like a golf club.

1248
00:43:16.543 --> 00:43:18.365
No, don't fuck off.

1249
00:43:18.485 --> 00:43:20.507
Leave your face so I'm feeling, look at that.

1250
00:43:21.490 --> 00:43:22.411
What are they?

1251
00:43:22.551 --> 00:43:23.491
What is that?

1252
00:43:23.591 --> 00:43:23.812
Okay.

1253
00:43:23.872 --> 00:43:25.273
Now, let me... Look at the hair on them.

1254
00:43:25.493 --> 00:43:26.333
Look at the hair on them.

1255
00:43:26.574 --> 00:43:28.035
Look at that fucking thing.

1256
00:43:28.215 --> 00:43:28.775
Look at that.

1257
00:43:29.035 --> 00:43:30.236
It's like a tennis ball.

1258
00:43:30.276 --> 00:43:31.737
Let me place them how I want.

1259
00:43:32.538 --> 00:43:33.118
Now, that is...

1260
00:43:33.218 --> 00:43:33.798
When they're like that...

1261
00:43:33.859 --> 00:43:34.499
These are mine.

1262
00:43:34.659 --> 00:43:36.120
I've got a couple toes that are a bit long.

1263
00:43:36.300 --> 00:43:37.321
A couple toenails, sorry.

1264
00:43:37.581 --> 00:43:40.203
But my feet are so much healthier looking than those fucking things.

1265
00:43:40.763 --> 00:43:41.524
Look at that.

1266
00:43:41.544 --> 00:43:42.164
It's buried.

1267
00:43:42.224 --> 00:43:43.325
Oh, that thing looks dead.

1268
00:43:43.865 --> 00:43:44.025
Okay.

1269
00:43:44.086 --> 00:43:47.068
We're going to take a photo of our feet and you guys can...

1270
00:43:48.199 --> 00:43:50.740
I think because I'm giving Falcons so much shit, I'm going to lose.

1271
00:43:50.780 --> 00:43:54.922
But I know if you guys were telling the truth, that Falcons' feet are mangled up.

1272
00:43:55.162 --> 00:43:55.963
No, they're not good.

1273
00:43:56.003 --> 00:43:57.583
But I just... Look at those things.

1274
00:43:57.623 --> 00:44:00.084
Dude, you go with everything about your feet.

1275
00:44:00.105 --> 00:44:00.385
Sorry.

1276
00:44:00.605 --> 00:44:02.706
Your feet look like bricks.

1277
00:44:03.146 --> 00:44:03.626
Anyway.

1278
00:44:03.726 --> 00:44:04.246
Where were we?

1279
00:44:04.426 --> 00:44:05.027
I had something to say.

1280
00:44:05.047 --> 00:44:06.347
What were we talking about?

1281
00:44:06.487 --> 00:44:07.008
Your feet.

1282
00:44:07.328 --> 00:44:07.828
Oh, my feet.

1283
00:44:07.848 --> 00:44:08.088
Yeah.

1284
00:44:08.328 --> 00:44:08.969
What's wrong with it?

1285
00:44:09.069 --> 00:44:09.289
Like...

1286
00:44:10.118 --> 00:44:10.978
We're in Australia.

1287
00:44:11.298 --> 00:44:12.779
Everyone should be barefoot all the time.

1288
00:44:12.959 --> 00:44:13.599
It feels that good.

1289
00:44:13.619 --> 00:44:14.299
I'm earthing myself.

1290
00:44:14.319 --> 00:44:15.159
Not good things like that.

1291
00:44:15.179 --> 00:44:15.599
You shouldn't.

1292
00:44:15.700 --> 00:44:19.721
Everyone's cooped up inside on their phone and fucking just walking around.

1293
00:44:19.801 --> 00:44:20.861
I'm just free.

1294
00:44:20.941 --> 00:44:21.701
I'm free bird.

1295
00:44:21.881 --> 00:44:22.281
Look at that.

1296
00:44:22.481 --> 00:44:22.981
Get away.

1297
00:44:23.662 --> 00:44:24.022
All right.

1298
00:44:24.102 --> 00:44:24.562
Give me some.

1299
00:44:24.582 --> 00:44:25.402
I'm sorry for people.

1300
00:44:25.422 --> 00:44:26.302
It is a bit weird, is it?

1301
00:44:26.502 --> 00:44:26.743
It is.

1302
00:44:26.823 --> 00:44:27.883
I think it's a bit distracting.

1303
00:44:28.143 --> 00:44:28.603
What?

1304
00:44:28.703 --> 00:44:28.963
For who?

1305
00:44:28.983 --> 00:44:32.364
Because you're wiggling and you're clipping out your toenails and shit.

1306
00:44:32.764 --> 00:44:34.825
And you're sitting on a chair.

1307
00:44:34.845 --> 00:44:39.026
It helps me be the best version I can be in this podcast booth.

1308
00:44:39.306 --> 00:44:39.526
Fuck.

1309
00:44:39.886 --> 00:44:40.826
That helps me think.

1310
00:44:41.167 --> 00:44:41.667
Fucking hell.

1311
00:44:41.687 --> 00:44:42.727
Take all your clothes off then.

1312
00:44:42.807 --> 00:44:44.128
We need like... What?

1313
00:44:44.708 --> 00:44:45.468
Take my clothes off?

1314
00:44:45.548 --> 00:44:47.329
Dude, what's going on?

1315
00:44:47.869 --> 00:44:48.750
Shit.

1316
00:44:48.990 --> 00:44:50.691
My feet are really turning.

1317
00:44:50.751 --> 00:44:56.353
I mean, if that makes you open and free and perform better, we need some more fucking layers off.

1318
00:44:57.093 --> 00:44:57.634
That's weird.

1319
00:44:58.014 --> 00:45:00.014
Okay, I'm going to give you some inspiration.

1320
00:45:00.035 --> 00:45:01.135
Okay.

1321
00:45:01.155 --> 00:45:08.198
This one, this is from my girlfriend Eden that her mom gave to her.

1322
00:45:08.618 --> 00:45:12.261
So Eden just mentioned me actually today going, mom just sent me this big voice note.

1323
00:45:12.401 --> 00:45:13.382
Eden's mom sends voice notes.

1324
00:45:13.702 --> 00:45:15.803
She loves, loves the chat.

1325
00:45:15.843 --> 00:45:18.365
She sends voice notes that go for 17 minutes.

1326
00:45:18.625 --> 00:45:18.966
I see.

1327
00:45:19.106 --> 00:45:19.666
I'm not kidding.

1328
00:45:19.686 --> 00:45:20.847
That blows my mind.

1329
00:45:20.867 --> 00:45:23.569
Eden has to go on a walk to listen to them like they're a podcast.

1330
00:45:23.649 --> 00:45:26.031
Yeah, you got to walk to the other, like to Queensland.

1331
00:45:27.131 --> 00:45:28.592
And she'll back it up for a nine-minute one.

1332
00:45:28.612 --> 00:45:29.172
I've seen these.

1333
00:45:29.352 --> 00:45:29.872
I've seen these.

1334
00:45:30.213 --> 00:45:32.574
Like, I'm not... That pissed me off to listen to that.

1335
00:45:32.734 --> 00:45:33.594
But she's great.

1336
00:45:33.714 --> 00:45:34.114
I couldn't...

1337
00:45:34.214 --> 00:45:37.876
Imagine having to find the time to be like, all right, I've really got to sit into this.

1338
00:45:37.976 --> 00:45:40.077
Yeah, you probably couldn't a lot of the time.

1339
00:45:40.097 --> 00:45:42.778
Like, I can't even read a paragraph without getting annoyed.

1340
00:45:43.338 --> 00:45:48.761
So she said, Mom just sent me this big voice note, and I got two quotes from it, love heart.

1341
00:45:49.581 --> 00:45:50.861
First one, I'll just give you one.

1342
00:45:51.762 --> 00:45:54.323
Your energy introduces you before you speak.

1343
00:45:57.189 --> 00:45:57.829
Oh, that's cool.

1344
00:45:57.869 --> 00:45:58.590
So cool.

1345
00:45:58.730 --> 00:45:59.430
So true.

1346
00:45:59.791 --> 00:46:00.371
That's cool.

1347
00:46:00.491 --> 00:46:03.534
That took me, I had to think about that for a second, but that's really good.

1348
00:46:03.574 --> 00:46:05.455
Your energy introduces you before you speak.

1349
00:46:05.736 --> 00:46:05.896
Yeah.

1350
00:46:05.916 --> 00:46:09.058
So when you walk into a room, you know, how are you presenting yourself?

1351
00:46:09.579 --> 00:46:09.939
So true.

1352
00:46:09.959 --> 00:46:14.223
And then you literally give off a vibe before you speak.

1353
00:46:14.603 --> 00:46:15.504
I want to do that better.

1354
00:46:16.405 --> 00:46:19.690
Be a bit more like vibrant energy, you know?

1355
00:46:20.691 --> 00:46:21.252
Yeah, that's good.

1356
00:46:21.272 --> 00:46:21.932
That's great.

1357
00:46:22.093 --> 00:46:23.234
It's so true.

1358
00:46:23.274 --> 00:46:25.417
It's like people do read a big book by this cover.

1359
00:46:25.897 --> 00:46:27.379
People read you in the first three seconds.

1360
00:46:27.680 --> 00:46:29.522
Yeah, and it's just...

1361
00:46:31.527 --> 00:46:33.067
It's a way to make other people feel comfortable.

1362
00:46:33.248 --> 00:46:43.311
Like if someone's walking in and you're closed up and you're not smiling or anything, it just brings a whole vibe to the room that it's not that fun or not that warm.

1363
00:46:43.351 --> 00:46:44.871
Oh my God, body imaging.

1364
00:46:45.011 --> 00:46:47.732
I already knew I was about to say this because you just shut your arms.

1365
00:46:47.852 --> 00:46:50.093
I've been thinking about this heaps lately for some reason.

1366
00:46:50.153 --> 00:46:53.714
Every time I'm standing in a group and you're talking with people or whatever,

1367
00:46:54.425 --> 00:47:12.876
body imaging, like, body mirroring, sorry, like, you just then, just shut your arms, and then I shut my arms, and if someone touches, like, you notice, like, when, if you're talking to someone, just like, Jachi was just upstairs before, and he's talking, then he started itching his face, and I started itching my face, and it's like, you become like,

1368
00:47:13.596 --> 00:47:17.158
And you never want to really shut your arms because that shows you're closed off.

1369
00:47:17.178 --> 00:47:17.598
Closed off.

1370
00:47:17.678 --> 00:47:19.860
And you're like, you're shrinking, you know?

1371
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:20.840
But it's hard.

1372
00:47:20.880 --> 00:47:22.221
Sometimes it's just comfortable to shut your arms.

1373
00:47:22.241 --> 00:47:22.881
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1374
00:47:22.901 --> 00:47:23.742
Sometimes I hear these things.

1375
00:47:23.762 --> 00:47:24.842
I'm like, mate, just let me be.

1376
00:47:25.022 --> 00:47:31.766
Sometimes I'm in, they say I'm at a meeting or whatever, and I close my arms and then I realize I have that.

1377
00:47:31.806 --> 00:47:32.807
And then I'm thinking about it.

1378
00:47:32.827 --> 00:47:33.647
So it's like social anxiety.

1379
00:47:33.667 --> 00:47:36.789
I'm like, oh shit, like, am I closed off as a person right now?

1380
00:47:36.829 --> 00:47:37.029
Yeah.

1381
00:47:37.349 --> 00:47:37.709
It's heavy.

1382
00:47:37.729 --> 00:47:39.230
And then you're like, oh, I'll just stand in my arms.

1383
00:47:39.730 --> 00:47:43.572
Can I just say how weird it is to feel your arms by your side doing nothing?

1384
00:47:43.652 --> 00:47:43.872
Yeah.

1385
00:47:44.052 --> 00:47:44.613
Who does that?

1386
00:47:44.753 --> 00:47:45.893
I'm just psychotic.

1387
00:47:45.953 --> 00:47:49.195
And what about when you start thinking about eye contact and they get so awkward?

1388
00:47:49.275 --> 00:47:49.655
Oh, my God.

1389
00:47:49.675 --> 00:47:51.596
Because you're like, am I staring too hard at them now?

1390
00:47:51.616 --> 00:47:52.977
But then if I don't stare, where do I look?

1391
00:47:53.017 --> 00:47:54.298
Now I'm freaking out looking at you.

1392
00:47:54.338 --> 00:47:54.778
Yeah, I know.

1393
00:47:55.018 --> 00:47:56.439
Like, are we looking too hard?

1394
00:47:56.459 --> 00:47:57.839
Oh, you know what it is with eye contact?

1395
00:47:57.899 --> 00:47:58.320
I think it's...

1396
00:47:59.337 --> 00:48:01.198
You should look...

1397
00:48:01.238 --> 00:48:05.961
So if you're talking, like me right now, I had to think just then, because I'm that fucking stupid.

1398
00:48:06.321 --> 00:48:09.262
I had to think about what I was about to say, which means I naturally have to look away.

1399
00:48:09.362 --> 00:48:09.643
Yeah.

1400
00:48:09.763 --> 00:48:13.205
But you as a listener, it's fine for you to stare at me because you're listening.

1401
00:48:13.505 --> 00:48:20.328
But if the talker just eyeballs you when they're thinking and talking, mate, go get checked.

1402
00:48:20.548 --> 00:48:21.189
That's psychotic.

1403
00:48:21.209 --> 00:48:24.571
Because you've got some shit going on because that's not normal.

1404
00:48:25.151 --> 00:48:26.312
And there's just a stare off Nilly.

1405
00:48:26.412 --> 00:48:27.272
Yeah, it's weird.

1406
00:48:27.312 --> 00:48:28.453
When you're thinking about...

1407
00:48:29.033 --> 00:48:33.317
talking and things you need to talk about, you have to go into another place.

1408
00:48:33.858 --> 00:48:35.779
Don't you reckon?

1409
00:48:35.819 --> 00:48:37.441
I've kept eye contact with you the whole day.

1410
00:48:37.461 --> 00:48:38.602
Yeah, good on you.

1411
00:48:39.567 --> 00:48:39.847
All right.

1412
00:48:39.967 --> 00:48:41.528
I've got another quote, but I will leave it.

1413
00:48:41.548 --> 00:48:42.068
Leave it.

1414
00:48:42.088 --> 00:48:42.509
Give it next step.

1415
00:48:42.529 --> 00:48:42.889
Next step.

1416
00:48:43.129 --> 00:48:43.389
All right.

1417
00:48:43.729 --> 00:48:44.269
Thanks, guys.

1418
00:48:44.289 --> 00:48:45.790
Appreciate it.

1419
00:48:45.890 --> 00:48:59.197
Also, yeah, these stories that we read out and people send in is, if you're wondering where to find the place to send them to us, it's on our Instagram link from the podcast Instagram, and it's all set up there for you.

1420
00:48:59.337 --> 00:49:00.238
We love hearing from you.

1421
00:49:00.498 --> 00:49:01.358
We do love hearing from you.

1422
00:49:01.378 --> 00:49:04.019
We're also on YouTube if you want to watch the episodes of My Beautiful Feet.

1423
00:49:04.780 --> 00:49:06.101
But foot off.

1424
00:49:06.121 --> 00:49:06.881
We'd had a foot off.

1425
00:49:07.239 --> 00:49:08.508
Yeah, write the podcast too.

1426
00:49:08.529 --> 00:49:09.274
That would really help us.

1427
00:49:09.294 --> 00:49:09.878
That means a lot.