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Right now there's probably lessons that you learned from failures that are the wrong lessons and just as if not more dangerous

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There are lessons from successes that you had that were not the right lessons to take

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Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers how to make more

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Process to learn how to keep them longer and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way

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I hope you enjoy and subscribe

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What's going on everyone? I think one of the best things about entrepreneurship is the lessons that we learn from failure

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Right now I try and share as many as I can on this on this you know vlog podcast et cetera

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Because I think that if I can help you not have the failure to learn the lesson then you can get the lesson without the scar

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That being said one of the hardest things is

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Learning the right lesson from failure and so let me let me unpack that because I think it's one of the most profound things that

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We as entrepreneurs or just we as people have to learn is making sure that we're getting the right takeaway

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So let me give you a couple different examples to show you the wrong takeaways and then kind of maybe walk through a framework that might be useful

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so

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Let's say you know you're in middle school and you're dancing with someone of the opposite sex or whatever you're attracted to whatever right you're dancing with somebody like and

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I'll just use the guy girl example cuz that's what I'm used to so it's like let's say I'm dancing with a girl and and she breaks my heart whatever right if I said ah

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Girls aren't for me right girls don't work right that would be ridiculous right of course

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It would be it just mean that that didn't work in that one instance

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But if I took the wrong lesson from it then I might swear off women all together right and what's interesting is that that's an incredibly

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Ridiculous example but people do it every single day right it's like a business owner who hires an employee and the employee doesn't work out

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It says ah employees they all suck. They're not for me right

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It's learning the wrong lesson from the failure and so I think it's just as dangerous

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Maybe even more dangerous to learn the wrong lesson because now you have a story that you've told yourself that reinforces the incorrect lesson

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And then from that point going forward you you operate under this false guys this false belief that you've told yourself that you believe is

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Right because you've experienced right and just because you have experiences when we took the right lesson from it and

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And so I'll tell you one that's that's been really that's been really interesting for me to learn

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is over the last you know over how many years right I

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Have succeeded a lot based on inbound marketing. All right, so that means paid advertising to generate demand in inwards right and what's interesting about that is

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A lot of my success has come from it

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But what's interesting is that I think that I've had a really long-term perspective when it comes to my health

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Right health and fitness like when I work out and how I eat I've always tried to pick really sustainable things that I can do forever right and I've been in

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Pretty good shape for you know almost almost 20 years

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And so that's that's been a successful action that I've been able to repeat over and over again to the same degree

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My marriage is actually probably one of the better things that I've done

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I pick that rationally my partner Laila

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And we both said we want to go this way we have this mission

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We have these values and we'll figure out the love stuff as we go and we actually got married before we really in love

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Mostly just because we thought we were so aligned and we've learned the love and every year. It's actually gotten better

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And that was a rational decision that was made by you know by both of us

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But and it was based on long-term thinking

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But what's interesting is that I've like been able to observe my own actions

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Over the last decade you know in business and I actually even think that I've still been more short-term skewed

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In my thinking because of the thing that I got really good at which is inbound and inbound

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You can immediately you can snap your fingers and make money tomorrow and you can make a tremendous amount of money in a very short period of time

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And I think in some ways I may have learned the wrong lesson from my early success which is

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Success should come big and should come fast right for me right because that's that's my own is for my own belief and

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As I look at the things that I've done that I've done really well for a long period of time none of them follow that that path right and so I've been you know

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strategically or deliberately kind of deconstructing my beliefs around what I think success should look like and what growth should look like

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And I'm finding myself more and more trying to move in the direction of sustainable growth

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Which I remember hearing when I was younger in me like oh, that's a horse crap

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But now as you know, I feel like I've gotten more scars and more experience

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Um, I actually think that if you're really looking on an endless horizon, which is what I try to shift myself towards

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Then you only do things that you think are worthwhile and your obsession my own obsession with hurry and the rush

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You know, I would love to say disappears, but at least it decreases right because if you're like it you get from the finite to the infinite

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You go for the can I do this until I die? I know that what I do in fitness I can do till I die

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I know that you know the way that layland I run our marriage

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I can do till I die like the way that we've we've we've done this we can do so I die and I'm gonna be like

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I you're you've only been married for five years sure

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Maybe yeah, maybe like maybe maybe I'll have to keep saying this and then it's like you've only been married 10 years

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I've only been married 20 years. I don't know. We'll see right

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Amos in Asian quick break just to let you know that we've been starting to post on LinkedIn and want to connect with you

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All right, so send me a connection request and note letting me know that you listen to the show and I will accept it

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There's anyone you think that we should be connected with tag them in one of my or layless posts

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And I will give you all the love in the world. All right, so let's get back to the show

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But it feels the same long term way the way the other one said because we have there's way less volatility

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It's just a slow and steady progress and so when I think about what I like how I'm trying to build things now

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It's different right in the beginning was just like short hard fast like let's go. Let's go. Let's go

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And I feel like now as I've gotten more experience some more weathered

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It's more like okay. This is our current growth rate. Can we just sustain this right because if we if we can just sustain this

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For 10 years will be at a hundred million plus will be at

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200 million plus if we just do this and what that's forced me to do is is is increase the time between my thoughts and my actions which

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Entrepreneurship so interesting because you have to kind of unlearn some of the things that got you started in the beginning

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You can't do anything because you're so paralyzed

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So you do need to decrease some of the time because you need to start taking action right but at a certain point

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You start becoming so good at taking action that you end up breaking things right so you actually have to start increasing that time

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And what that does is it gives you more space to make decisions that are in that are rational instead of emotional

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And so that's when you see a competitor run and add or you see an employee leave with clients or whatever happens

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And you want to have some reaction and most times no reaction is the best decision

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And this is just like it's been this repeated trend that I've had

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And so my current the current lesson that I'm trying to see

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Is is actually not from failure but making sure that I learned the correct lesson from my success

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And thinking it might have actually been bad for me that I was that I was so successful so early on

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Uh

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And it might have been that I took the wrong strategy from it

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And so what I the things that I'm trying to build now are far more enduring

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Uh, and more stable and do not require me or my skill

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At all and by doing that I feel like I'm getting closer to the first time my life or actually have businesses

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That truly run without me

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Um, like actually not as in like oh, I don't do the day to day

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That's definitely one level and one component of it

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But when it can get to the point where it truly grows without me

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And I'm really just there to guide direction and be a sounding board for the leadership team that's in place

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I feel like that's that that's where I should go

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Um, and I feel like the things that I'm building now are in alignment with that

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And it's been it's taken years to get here

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Um, and so

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Anyhow my goal is if you are if you are in it and you're not growing as as fast as you want

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But you are growing

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Then extrapolate that over 10 years right extrapolate over five years and say can I just grow at

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10% every every every quarter that's huge growth right can I just do this every quarter

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Can I just make this sustainable can I make this consistent because

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What I'm seeing is the richest people in the world just look for reliability

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They look for low volatility, which means less of this

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And so if I can decrease the volatility in the business by making things more consistent

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And not going for the big the big win that's like right there right and I just stay patient

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Um, it continues to pay dividends

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And so that's kind of the chapter that I'm in right now um, and the lesson that I'm trying to learn or or walk

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Uh, and so I figured I would just share that with you

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And also just the thought process around

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Looking at your successes and your failures and making sure that you learn the right lessons from them

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Because I've definitely taken lessons from my successes that that were not that were not correct

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And I've taken lessons from my failures that were not correct and each each of them is equally

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Dooming or damning right and a fun final thought that I'll leave you with is

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What if everything that you did when you were successful was not because of you

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But because of outside forces and everything that you've done to fail was your fault

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I've taken this perspective and tried to apply it to my life

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And I've had an amazing amount of uh, inferences and thoughts that have gone around it that have been completely new

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So it's like what if what if when you were successful at one time maybe it wasn't because of you at all

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Maybe it was just maybe it was just chance right maybe it was just coincidence

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And I think a lot of times we apply those frameworks to other people but never to ourselves

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So someone does something bad. We say it's their fault something good happens if we don't like them

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We're like oh that was because they got lucky or only because of this outside circumstance that wasn't because of them

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But we never apply that to ourselves

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And I think that if we do if you reverse it because we always want to say we take credit for our for our wins

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And we say our losses are because of outside circumstances

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But if we flip that a lot of times I think you get some really interesting lessons that can come from it

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And just just walking through the thought process what if this wasn't because of me

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What other things happened that did a line up for me uh that were not my doing

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And by doing that you'll start to you'll start to see different trends and different patterns

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Then maybe you cannot you can you can take advantage of opportunities when they aren't because of you

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But you can still take advantage right and so anyways

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I wanted to show this thought process with you for me. It's been incredibly valuable

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And I hope it is valuable for you too. So uh enjoy and I'll see you in the next video

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You