WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.880 Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more 2 00:00:02.880 --> 00:00:06.080 pro customers, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned 3 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:13.200 along the way. Hope you enjoy and subscribe. March of 2019, my wife and I were walking together 4 00:00:13.200 --> 00:00:18.560 after just having finished a 4.4 million dollar month and she turned to me and she said, 5 00:00:18.560 --> 00:00:24.000 Alex, let's just shut it all down. She's like, I'm so tired of this, I'm so burnt out. 6 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:29.360 I just don't want to do this anymore. And it was at that moment that I realized that in order to 7 00:00:29.360 --> 00:00:33.440 progress in the entrepreneurial game, we had to change the way we operated, the way we thought. 8 00:00:34.080 --> 00:00:39.120 And so if you're an entrepreneur and you're a business owner, the number one thing that I've 9 00:00:39.120 --> 00:00:44.640 seen that creates success is longevity, meaning that you can continue to play the game. Because at 10 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:49.120 the end of the day, none of us is going to quit business or hopefully not quit business. And so in 11 00:00:49.120 --> 00:00:54.160 order to decrease the likelihood that we quit, which is the only way to fail, we have to think 12 00:00:54.160 --> 00:00:59.200 through our problems with a defined framework. And so rather than focus on the actual framework 13 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:03.360 of the decision making, what I want to do is focus in around the state in which you can manage 14 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:09.520 your own thoughts. And so I've had to deal with plenty of stressors, as you can imagine. So if 15 00:01:09.520 --> 00:01:13.680 you're stressed in your own business right now, like, you know, add a zero to whatever your revenue 16 00:01:13.680 --> 00:01:17.680 is and you'll have 10 times the potential for stress if you were 10 times bigger or 100 times 17 00:01:17.680 --> 00:01:23.280 the stress. If you were 100 times bigger, which depends on who's listening, we may be that for 18 00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:28.080 you. And so I can tell you truthfully that the way that I've been able to eliminate pressure, 19 00:01:28.800 --> 00:01:33.680 which has created a longevity in the game for me, has been through four strategies that 20 00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:38.800 actually work in the real world for me. So the first that I do, whenever I have any kind of 21 00:01:38.800 --> 00:01:46.800 negative situation, is I go a thousand x negative. All right. And then I reevaluate. So let me explain 22 00:01:46.800 --> 00:01:51.760 what that means. So if, for example, there's something that's bad that happens. We get a bad 23 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:57.520 review where we get, you know, a client subset where I have an employee who says something bad to 24 00:01:57.520 --> 00:02:02.160 another employee or a employee that's key leaves or someone tries to, you know, a competitor steal 25 00:02:02.160 --> 00:02:05.120 stuff and then starts back, whatever it is, right. There's a million problems in go business. 26 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:08.480 You have cash flow issues or where you can't make payroll, whatever it is, right? 27 00:02:10.160 --> 00:02:13.680 I like to think of this one as my first, this is my like my first line of defense. The first 28 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:18.880 thing I think about is if this were to happen a thousand times more, right? And this works really 29 00:02:18.880 --> 00:02:23.520 well with what I would consider like minor to medium-sized grievances. So things that happen that 30 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:28.240 are kind of everyday business that can, you know, bother you for a day or two days or a week, right? 31 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:34.160 Well, if you can just shorten that loop of that cycle of you being disturbed because the thing is 32 00:02:34.160 --> 00:02:36.960 that lots of those things are going to happen every single week. A lot of times you just don't know 33 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:41.600 about them, right? Depending on the size of your business. And so I just happen to know about it now. 34 00:02:41.600 --> 00:02:46.240 And so first off, I like to think about that. But second is I'll do this, right? Which is I'll 35 00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:52.720 imagine that every day in my life, this happens, whatever that thing is, right? Customers upset. 36 00:02:52.720 --> 00:02:57.680 Now, obviously if it's a core issue, you have to resolve it. But in terms of like it happening in 37 00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:02.480 my affective or my emotional reaction to it, then I think to myself, well, if this happened every 38 00:03:02.480 --> 00:03:06.640 single day and this happened every hour of every day, at some point I would become desensitized to it, 39 00:03:06.640 --> 00:03:10.800 right? Because I had so much stimulus of this, I would not be able to have an emotional response. 40 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:14.880 And so when I think and I imagine myself experiencing this negative thing over and over and over 41 00:03:14.880 --> 00:03:18.960 again, it's called a negative visualization, then what ends up happening is I become immune to it. 42 00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:24.080 And so I think to myself, well, if I can become immune to it after a thousand tries, I can 43 00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:28.480 become immune to it on the first try because it means nothing has actually changed only my perspective 44 00:03:28.480 --> 00:03:33.200 on the occurrence. And then so doing, you can shortwire yourself to that end outcome and then 45 00:03:33.200 --> 00:03:37.360 fast forward it to the present so you can live the rest of your day or less of your week without 46 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:42.160 being emotionally disturbed. And when you do that, at least for me, I feel like I make better 47 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:46.000 decisions. And so I think for most of us as entrepreneurs and business owners, we are judged by the 48 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:49.840 marketplace, by the quality of our decisions. That's ultimately what it is, right? It's just how good 49 00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:53.840 are the quality of the decisions that we make. And so if I can decrease the likelihood that I make 50 00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:57.440 bad decisions and I can do that on a regular basis, then this is something that protects my mind. 51 00:03:57.440 --> 00:04:04.320 And, candidly, it's what makes life worth living. The second thing that I'll do is that when I'm 52 00:04:04.320 --> 00:04:10.160 preparing for something that I need to start doing, right? Because there might be habits or 53 00:04:10.160 --> 00:04:14.800 things that you need to start doing. And this is a slightly different example, but I'm giving you 54 00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:18.880 the four different strategies that have worked really well for me. The second one is let's say you 55 00:04:18.880 --> 00:04:21.840 wanted to start working out because you're like, you know what, I've been neglecting my health or 56 00:04:21.840 --> 00:04:25.600 you know, you'll start eating healthy or whatever it is, right? Those are fitness examples, but just go 57 00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:33.680 with me. What I will do is I will expect the worst circumstance, all right? So rather than saying, 58 00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:39.840 okay, I'm going to go work out and feel excited, right? To go work out, I'm super pumped. What I 59 00:04:39.840 --> 00:04:45.040 want to do is I want to plan and prepare my mental state for when it times to work out, when it comes 60 00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:48.960 time to work out, I'm going to be exhausted. I'm not going to have slept well. I'm going to have a 61 00:04:48.960 --> 00:04:53.760 lot of business stress. And so I have to expect that going into every workout. Now, if I don't have 62 00:04:53.760 --> 00:05:00.000 that happen, then it's a bonus, rather than expecting nothing to be my mental state. And then 63 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.760 when something bad does happen, then I have this reason, right? And so it literally does go into 64 00:05:05.760 --> 00:05:12.880 truly expecting the worst case scenario and making the pre-formed decision to act any ways despite 65 00:05:12.880 --> 00:05:17.440 that because you have plan for it. So most people, most humans, have really good psychological 66 00:05:17.440 --> 00:05:21.520 resilience if we brace for it. So if you're about to give someone bad news, for example, you actually 67 00:05:21.520 --> 00:05:24.720 have to let them, hey, this is bad news. Hey, you may want to sit down for this because people 68 00:05:24.720 --> 00:05:28.880 actually are very resilient if you give them a moment to emotionally brace themselves. And so what 69 00:05:28.880 --> 00:05:34.080 we're doing here is using this bracing technique on ourselves in advance of a situation that is likely 70 00:05:34.080 --> 00:05:38.160 to occur at some time between now and when we die, especially if it's a habit that has to be 71 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:47.040 ongoing, right? And so what I do is I emotionally brace for the worst scenario, all right? That's number 72 00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:55.520 two. Real quick, guys, you guys already know that I don't run any ads on this and I don't sell 73 00:05:55.520 --> 00:05:59.120 anything. And so the only ask that I can ever have are you guys that you help me spread the words 74 00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:03.280 so we can have more entrepreneurs, make more money, feed their families, make better products, 75 00:06:03.280 --> 00:06:07.680 and have better experiences for their employees and customers. And the only way we do that is if 76 00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:12.400 you can rate and review and share this podcast. So the single thing that I have to do is you can 77 00:06:12.400 --> 00:06:16.160 just leave a review, let's take a 10 seconds or one type of the thumb. It means the absolute 78 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:19.040 world to me and more importantly, it may change the world to someone else. 79 00:06:21.280 --> 00:06:25.600 The third thing that I do, and this is probably the one that I use the most. 80 00:06:27.280 --> 00:06:30.320 It's really the one that I use the most. Actually, I'll say that one for last. 81 00:06:31.280 --> 00:06:37.200 A different version of this, the emotional brace is an extreme version, right? So kind of, 82 00:06:37.200 --> 00:06:41.440 this is imagine the thing that you just had happened that bothered you for a thousand times 83 00:06:41.440 --> 00:06:46.000 then it stops affecting you. The second one is you emotionally brace yourself. The third one 84 00:06:48.640 --> 00:06:54.560 is you imagine worst case, all right? Now the point here is kind of like a pain anchor, okay? 85 00:06:54.560 --> 00:07:01.200 And so what I mean by a pain anchor is it gives you perspective on your current issues, right? 86 00:07:01.200 --> 00:07:06.320 So for example, whenever you've had a family member die or someone close to you die or some of 87 00:07:06.320 --> 00:07:09.760 you even have a pet die, it depends on where you're at in your life, right? If you have something 88 00:07:09.760 --> 00:07:14.560 that was painful for you, right? All of us benefit. We get the gift of perspective from those 89 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:18.560 who die. That's like the one of the final gifts that any death occurs that's in your proximity 90 00:07:18.560 --> 00:07:25.120 will give you, right? And so for me, I think about that negative situation, I really like trying 91 00:07:25.120 --> 00:07:30.160 soak myself in it, right? Really trying like put it on and walk around in what that painful state 92 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:35.040 would be, whatever worst case scenario I can imagine might be death of a spouse, might be death of 93 00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:40.640 a parent, whatever, right? Or child, something horrific, right? But if I can truly allow myself to 94 00:07:40.640 --> 00:07:47.920 go there, then what happens is I get so much context and perspective on the little thing, 95 00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:53.200 like somebody bashing a piece of content or someone saying that they hate your ad or whatever, 96 00:07:53.200 --> 00:07:58.000 it might be the thing that is deriding you. And all of a sudden that problem becomes massively 97 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:03.600 minimized, right? It becomes almost inconsequential. And what I found is that over my life in the 98 00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:08.400 business, there are so many, there's an infinite amount of problems. Truly, like there's an unlimited 99 00:08:08.400 --> 00:08:12.000 amount of problems. I can think of so many things we should be doing or we could be doing better 100 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:16.080 or should not have happened, right? But it's only because we put the word should in front of it 101 00:08:16.080 --> 00:08:21.680 that we have an expectation that is different than reality, which creates the friction in our minds, 102 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:26.960 creates the dissonance, it creates the unhappiness that we have. And so if I can imagine the worst 103 00:08:26.960 --> 00:08:33.840 case scenario and then actively minimize my current situation, then I usually can get right through it. 104 00:08:33.920 --> 00:08:39.520 And most times what I found is that most problems shrink into a relevance within broader context. 105 00:08:39.520 --> 00:08:43.920 They actually never get solved. We just realized that we just don't care and that they are no longer 106 00:08:43.920 --> 00:08:48.240 meaningful to us. And so that has been something that's been very useful for me as we've grown, 107 00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:52.880 because frankly, the bigger your company gets, the more ability and potential you have to become 108 00:08:52.880 --> 00:08:56.880 stressed. And I think most of us are here for freedom. And so if you want freedom, then you have 109 00:08:56.880 --> 00:09:00.400 to, or at least for me, I have found that I have to manage my mental state in order to continue 110 00:09:00.400 --> 00:09:05.200 to make high-quality decisions. And so that leads me to the last one, which is probably my favorite 111 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:11.200 and most used one that I use on anything. And this may bother some of you, and that's okay, 112 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:18.160 this isn't end, sorry, universe. This is a world view that I have. So if you are, 113 00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:26.000 don't be trigger, don't take offense to this, but I'm telling you what has worked for me. 114 00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:32.560 And so I believe that the universe will continue to expand until eventually everything becomes 115 00:09:32.560 --> 00:09:37.200 a fine mist. Over a long enough time horizon, the sun will give out, all stars will extinguish, 116 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:42.960 and then everything will just become a fine mist. And as silly as that may sound, it means that 117 00:09:42.960 --> 00:09:48.400 anything that we do, this video, anything that I accomplish in this world, will eventually 118 00:09:48.400 --> 00:09:55.200 disappear and be meaningless. And so some people find that incredibly depressing. I don't. I find 119 00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:00.720 that to be incredibly meaningful, because it means to me that I'm allowed to, I am the only 120 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:07.280 person that ascribes meaning to anything, because it means that nothing has inherent meaning. 121 00:10:07.280 --> 00:10:11.200 And so that means that when I have any stressors in my life, I'm saying that I'm choosing, 122 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:16.720 my brain is choosing to make meaning out of this when there was no meaning to be made to begin with. 123 00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:21.440 And so by doing that, I can play the notes of the piano of meaning that happen across 124 00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:26.880 the occurrences and circumstances in my life. And so when I think about it in this context, 125 00:10:26.880 --> 00:10:31.920 everything shrinks into a relevance. And so a lot of the concepts around like, I want to build a legacy, 126 00:10:31.920 --> 00:10:37.600 I want to make an impact, I want to leave a dent in the universe. You're not. You're probably not 127 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:42.240 going to leave a dent in the universe. And even if you made some big advancement within 500 years, 128 00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:48.080 like it'll probably be forgotten. And that would be like if you're the top 0.001%, right? It's 129 00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:53.680 unlikely. But it is 100% likely that over a long enough time horizon, everything will disappear, 130 00:10:54.240 --> 00:11:00.640 right? And by doing that, for me, it decreases the pressure that I put on myself for having to, 131 00:11:00.640 --> 00:11:08.560 I must, I should, I have to, like, I can't live without those thoughts that strangle me, right? 132 00:11:08.560 --> 00:11:13.440 Those are the things that destroy my ability to make decisions because I come way more emotional 133 00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:18.480 as a result of them. And so whenever I have any kind of negative occurrence or stressors that 134 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:24.000 come up in my life which are inevitable, I use this as my ultimate frame of reference. This is my 135 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:31.440 ultimate trump card that I use to keep my emotions at bay. And ultimately say, I am the master of my 136 00:11:31.440 --> 00:11:39.440 own universe. I get to decide what has meaning. And for me, I'll tell you what what I have found 137 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:45.120 most meaningful for me is that my purpose in life to, to my knowledge at this point is to learn. 138 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:51.600 I love learning. And so that is, that is why I make these videos because I feel like I am able to 139 00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:56.720 better learn how to think. I'm better learned how to run businesses. I'm better learned, I can 140 00:11:56.720 --> 00:12:00.720 better learn all of the aspects of everything by teaching it, right? And I'm sure if you ever 141 00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:04.480 did a book report when you were in high school, you learned the one chapter you had to do your book 142 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:07.600 report on or give a presentation on way better than any of the other chapters because when you have 143 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:11.280 to teach something, you have to learn it better. You have to learn the nuances of what makes 144 00:12:11.280 --> 00:12:16.800 something work. And so for me, even cataloging these things has been useful for me because I think 145 00:12:16.800 --> 00:12:20.960 these are all the things that I do, huh? But now I have a process that I can continue to use 146 00:12:21.520 --> 00:12:28.480 rather than use haphazardly just because I've just trained myself over time doing this. And so 147 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:32.000 I don't know where you're at in your business career. If you're, you know, you know, at seven figures 148 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:35.760 or at eight figures or multi figures, you have multiple companies, whatever it is, right? This has 149 00:12:35.760 --> 00:12:44.000 been so personally impactful for me that it has helped me be in this for the long haul because if 150 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:49.520 nothing has meaning, except for what I choose to give meaning, then it means I can choose to only 151 00:12:49.520 --> 00:12:56.880 play games that I find meaningful. And by extension, I will not fall out of the game or quit because the 152 00:12:56.880 --> 00:13:01.600 thing that I'm doing is the thing that I derive the most meaning from. And so I will be able to 153 00:13:01.680 --> 00:13:10.560 outlast longer players in that pursuit. And what happened is for me, my life becomes a glorification 154 00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:18.080 to an ideal that I create. And so for me, like the content, I will do everything I can to continue 155 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:22.880 to improve on this. I'm paying coaches, I'm going through courses to try and make the lessons 156 00:13:22.880 --> 00:13:26.800 that I have more engaging, more entertaining, more educational, have more stories woven into them 157 00:13:26.800 --> 00:13:31.520 so that hopefully I can transfer these things to someone else because that is what I find meaningful. 158 00:13:31.760 --> 00:13:37.520 Not because it is eternally meaningful, but just because that ideal to me has meaning. And so 159 00:13:37.520 --> 00:13:42.720 that is something that I believe is eternal. Values are eternal. And values will exist even when 160 00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:55.760 everything disappears in the universe. And so for me, I choose to dedicate my content to those ideals.