WEBVTT

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if you have nothing going for you it's another way of saying that you have nothing to lose

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and so it means that you have endless shots on goal and so you should be the most prone to

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taking action because there's nothing holding you back. Welcome to the game where we talk about

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how to get more customers, how to make more customers, how to keep them longer and the many

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failures and lessons we have learned along the way. I hope you enjoy and subscribe.

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And today to say the showman's a friend, I think everybody says that when they first do an

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interview, this is my buddy, Alex, our guest to interview here in a minute and I met via text

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ever and we spent like six months or a year getting to know each other. I laughed every morning

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at our text. You know what we laughed at before I introduced the formal stuff? It was a time

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where both of us waited to invest in cryptocurrency and we both talked about it and we both equally

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went in the day it reached its peak in my life. And then we decided that it crashed after that

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that we would not invest anymore because we didn't want to hurt the rest of the investors.

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So anyway, we built an amazing friendship via text we got together and hit it off. He is

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truly one of the smartest marketers I've ever met, smartest businessman. He is an incredible husband,

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he's a dear friend, he's a good human being and I'm so glad we got to know each other. Yes, he's

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built, he built five companies in like record time over $120 million, exited out of multiple companies.

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Now he's got a massive portfolio of companies that he's a part of that do over $200 million

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a year in revenue. He's on fire, he owns acquisition.com. You've seen all over social media. I'm so

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glad to have my friend here, Alex Ramosey. What's up, man? It was like the nicest intro. Thank you. I

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will do my very best to live up to that. No, it's true man. And listen, the fun part, I wish we

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could share some of the text. I literally remember being at the gym and I couldn't get back to it

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like a next set because I was still laughing so hard. It's been a fun relationship. You know,

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call out the Own Your Future podcast. You know why? Because Tony and I, Robbins and I did a

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challenge about three years ago, we called it Own Your Future. And I was on a podcast and someone

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said, why would you want to own your future? And my reply was, well, shit, if you don't own

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your future, someone else is gonna. And that hit me and I watched everybody's comment was like,

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oh, oh, my God, because you don't think about that. Your career could own you. Your old beliefs

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could own you. Your current income because you're not stretching yourself to finally launch that

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business you were gonna could be owning you. And I think at the end of the day, we all want to own

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our calendar. We want to own our decisions. So that's why I went that way. So we'll get into some fun

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stuff. And we can go personal because we're friends. But I love that question. What does that mean to

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you? Like, what does it mean to Alex to own your future? So I mean, I think it means high

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agency. So meaning like, when we're kids, it becomes real, we learn what the world means through

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other people. And so like, you're in a you, you have Luca. And he's like, what does that mean? What

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is that? And so you're literally telling him what things mean. And so like the first things we

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learn are only from the few people around us that tell us how to interpret the world. And then

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once we'd turn 16, 17, 18, 20, 23 all of a sudden, we're like, I don't know of everything that

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every one of these people told me what things mean. We're right. Yeah. And so we spend the rest of

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our lives trying to unlearn what everyone has told us meant. And then make up that meaning for

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ourselves. Wow. Such a what a God. That's an amazing and true because the word to come to the end

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you're trying to decipher is that my father's perspective. Yeah. Or is that reality? And what is

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reality? Yeah. Yeah. And so that so my, you know, my, my goal personally has been to

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dissect decisions and think like, is this the decision that I'm making because I believe this

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or because of what I want other people to think about me as a result of this decision? And

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we're social beings. We care about what other people think. And I don't think we're ever going to

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like get completely rid of that from us. I mean, you'd have to be, you know, gone to your whoever,

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you know, Buddha, right? But at least if I can try and be aware of how much something might

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influence me, then at least gives me the, the wherewithal to say, okay, warning flags. This is a

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sensitive subject that your dad always wanted for you. Be extra careful around decisions that impact,

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that go in this direction. And so I can just take that extra pause of space and say, okay,

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is this really me or is this because I want him to think this about me? Wow. And and like,

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dad is really just a foil. It could be your brother, your sister, your spouse, your ex-wife.

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You know what I mean? That rival or the competitor, whoever it is, the moment that I realized this

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in my life was I was 19 years old. And at the time, I was an angry 19 year old like some of us are

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and probably unrightfully so. But I really disliked both my parents really heavily. And I remember

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thinking to myself like, they messed me up. I've all these anger issues like I hate everyone. I'm

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alone, well, whatever. And I remember catching myself, blaming them and thinking to myself,

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that means that I give them all the power in my life. Like wherever wherever I point the

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finger of blame is also where the power follows. It's like power follows blame. And so I was like,

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what am I going to do about it? Because maybe they did wrong. It doesn't really matter.

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It's only me who can who can own my own future. Because otherwise they're going to own my future

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for the rest of my life. And then the thing that made it crack for me was the idea that the people

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that I hated the most owned me. That was the thing. So I was like, so these people that I hated and

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blamed, then flipping it from the blame to they own me. They have power over me. I was like, I never

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want them to have power over me. And then that was actually the first real crack I had in like the

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damn of trying to like make my own life and start, that was when I decided to not be pre-med.

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Because that was what my dad wanted me to be. And like, there were many steps on this, you know,

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this journey. But the first one of like just not being a doctor like him and being just saying,

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like, I want to get into business because it's like I'm way more interested in this stuff.

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Like you can imagine I was like shaking to try and tell my dad this. But yeah, it was like,

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I blamed them. They owned me. I don't want that. Yeah, I want to dissect this little

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one. And I can't wait to talk about some business things and things that I know people need in

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today's world. But this is more important because what I always, I love the term going upstream.

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I know it's simple. It was it was a term I heard Tony Robbins talked about the medical field,

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right? It was a doctor pulls into a medical office and there's a stream by and there's someone

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drowned and he goes in, you've heard this before and he goes and saves him. And another doctor

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pulls up. He's like, help me, help me save this next person, save this next person. And finally,

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a doctor pulls up and looks and he goes, come help us. And he drives away and he stops and he goes,

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hey, how come you're not going to help us? He's like, I'm just going to drive upstream and see

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who's throwing these people in. Yeah. Right. It's like, you're never going to get all to stop the

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bastard throwing people in the stream. And that stuck with me so much that everything,

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the reason I love this podcast about business, about marketing. But really, I want to go upstream

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because the human condition that so many people are watching and listening right now, they think

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it's the marketing thing or the sales thing or the invention they have to have or maybe they

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didn't have the right employee. But really when go up to that next level, there are things sabotaging

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us today that were put in our lives by parents, by a teacher, by an experience, by a bad relationship.

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And if we don't solve that, then there's no way we can go downstream and clear up all the people.

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Right. So thank you for for being vulnerable and sharing that because I would bet to say there's

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so many people watching today, listening today, that don't realize that someone else is owning

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their decisions based on the past. And I'd love to know, going deeper on what you shared is,

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how did you really, how did you make that like what was the thing? 19 is young to be able to recognize

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I probably recognize that in my 30s and some people maybe never. And the question I'll say is

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would you take any of it back? Because I think if you blame, like if you blame your parents up to that

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the like hey, they didn't support me, they want to be a doctor. And if I'm not a doctor, I'm nobody,

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I'm a loser, I'm pathetic, you'll never make it. We can laugh about some of the things we've talked

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about in our lives. But like you're not going to make it, you're going to be a loser, you're

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blowing your life, nothing will ever work. And then when it does work, you don't get the credit,

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they're like, well, you got lucky, it'll probably fail anyway, right? How do you get to a point to

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realize, I'm sorry, I see you shaking. I need to get to the point where you go, wow, thank God

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they did that because it drove me to be stronger, faster, more innovative, more creative. And now you get

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to own your decisions. I think it's an over time process because I mean, I certainly think when I was

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19 years old, I was not there. It was the first crack and the thing was just like, I was so angry.

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And so the idea, and like I defined powers just like influencer or someone else's events,

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things, people, et cetera. And so like they were influencing my decisions, which means they had

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power over me. And it just sickened me to think that these people that I was so angry about, I'm

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not saying it was right or wrong, but like at the time that these people, I didn't want to give

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them that power. And so I even think about this now sometimes, even like big business decisions,

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et cetera, a lot of times we say like society tells us or society trains us, whatever.

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But if you really like listen to it, there's usually like two or three voices or maybe just one.

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And it's like sometimes you're surprised. And so one of the exercises I do when I have these

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decisions where I'm like, I feel like I'm pulled in multiple directions. The thing I think I,

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the thing I know I want to do and the thing that I have been trained myself to do that's not the

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thing I want to do is I just try and name the person who's stopping me from doing it. And so I

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remember there was like when I was selling one of the businesses, this was like the first massive

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deal that we were going to go through. I started playing these voices just one particular

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entrepreneur that I know. And I was like, he's going to think that this isn't enough money. Now

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mind you, it was a big exit and it was totally made up in my mind. But I had to write down his name

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and say, like, will I let this person stop me from exiting this company? And when I saw it,

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it just seemed so small. And I was like, no, I'm not going to give him that kind of power over my

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life. I'm going to give this guy is going to influence my decisions, going to change the

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rush in my life because of a voice I have in my head that he doesn't even know I'm thinking about him.

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And you know what? Before we go any further, it sounds so silly as you write it. Once you wrote it

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down, it was silly. But how strong are those voices, all of you listening, watching right now,

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that says, oh, you're too young for this. You're too old for this, right? All of it. You had

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someone that said, you don't sell that company unless it's 200 million. And you're getting lots of

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zeros. And you're like, question it until you wrote it down and go, am I going to allow him?

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And I think I think that's a big takeaway today is if something is holding you back in your life

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and you think it's your own insecurities, of course it is or your own beliefs. But right down,

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I love that. I'm going to do that next time is literally right down. Am I not going to do this

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because of? And do you really want to give him that power? It's so interesting when we talk about

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insecurity because most insecurities belong to someone else. And so it's like, who owns this

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insecurity of mine? And why did I inherit it? Right. Because if, because insecurity comes from

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other people's judgments. So like, you can't be insecure about something unless there's someone

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else making this judgment. Otherwise, there would be nothing to be insecure about. And so naming

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who owns that insecurity, it takes it from this really amorphous thing to like, it's John?

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Really? Yeah. Wow. It is John. And sometimes it takes a couple of, you're like, no, it's not my mom.

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No, it's not, you know, it's not my uncle. You know, you know what? It's, it's that my colleague.

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He's, I work with him every day. And I think that if he, if he knew I quit my job, he would think I was

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like, not cool. Or it's the guys I used to go to school with. If they know that I quit my job,

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they would see me as a loser. Like my senior year. Or a dreamer. Yeah. Like, it's not going to work,

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right? And they're all these good jobs. And like, I'm going to quit my stable job to go to this thing.

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And I used to think like, there's going to be a short term time when they're all making more

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money than me. And they can buy things that I can. So here's a quick question. Yeah. If,

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if there's all of us have to make the next type of decisions,

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of the opposite side, like the, the main side is don't let people unqualified, talk you out of

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what you want. Had a life. You're broke friend telling you how to fix your relationships.

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Sing, right? I broke friend telling you how to do your business or a single friend on the

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relationship, right? We know that what helps fuel the confidence to keep going, right? Because

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we all question ourselves. How many times have we both, you're an inch away from signing the deal,

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starting the new, you bought a company yesterday. There's always those moments right before you

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stroke a check with lots of zeros or start a new company, start a new relationship, say, I do,

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say, I don't, right? This is enough or this is the beginning. All of those moments,

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I believe, I'm going to digress here because I believe pressure, at least with me,

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when I'm under pressure, I can resort back to the man I used to be.

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Right? I think I'm, I'm growing. If I'm not climbing, I'm sliding, I'm growing emotionally,

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physically, like, spiritually. And then you get under pressure and sometimes you take a step back

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and you make a decision, the man that you were running away from or want to grow from.

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So if, if you can be bold enough to take that uncomfortable action to say, no, I'm going to sell

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this company because it makes sense for me. I'm not giving that power to John. I'm not giving

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this power to my parents. What keeps you in the game so you can continue to make better and

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decisions for you. So is this, I want to make sure I understand the question.

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There's the, what makes me confident to make the next, to own my own decision rather than

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listen to someone else versus what keeps me going in terms of the bigger goal?

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Yeah, I think the first one. Yeah. So I'm a big believer. And this is a little bit contrary.

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That proof is the best type of evidence for a trait. And so rather than say like, I'm honest,

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I'm honest, I'm honest, but like you're a crook. Like all the evidence, most of the fact that you're

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a crook, like I think that when you say that on some level, you don't believe you because you know

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that's not true. And so I try and look at, okay, what experiences or things I've done in the past

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can I transfer that are close enough to this new thing? So if I built a sales team at a weight

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loss company and then I really want to do this new gig that's at a chiropractor joint and it's

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also building a sales team, can I say that that skill is going to transfer? I have high confidence

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that I'll be successful in this thing. That would make sense for me. If I had built six sales

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teams over my career, I'd probably be even more confident. Right. And so the thing is is like,

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if I'm listening to this, and so the problem is, what do you do when you're at zero?

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When you're like, I'm not confident, I haven't done anything good. Right. I've got no achievements

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to my name, et cetera. I think that you're delusional because it's like, if you were able,

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like all you have to do is chunk down and think, okay, well, what did I, what did I do? Like,

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let's be real. What did I do today? That was good. Well, I woke up. Okay, cool. I got out of bed.

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Okay. Well, I showed up to work on time. Okay. So I'm punctual. You know what I always show up

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to work on time? That's okay. I do do that. Right. And I respond to things pretty quick. Okay. So

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I'm responsive. So it's you chunk down until you're like, okay, what things can I say that I have

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proof that I'm good at? And then those become things that you can stack on top of one other because

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it's not delusional because let's say, let's say mom says, you're not, you're blah, blah, blah,

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but you're like, no, no, no, no, I hear you. But I have proof. So like, I get you, if you're opinion,

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I have facts. And so my goal in life has always been to stack as much proof as I possibly can

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to support that I am who I say I am. Even if you have to embellish a little bit of that proof,

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right? Like, even if you say, I know I only did it at this level. Oh, yeah. But that same thing

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could get compounded 10 times. It just I didn't have the eyeballs yet, right? I didn't have the

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experience or the time. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I love that thought.

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Hey guys, love that you're listening to the podcast. If you ever want to have the video version

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of this, which usually has more facts, more visuals, more graphs, you know, drawn out stuff,

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sometimes it can help hit the brain centers in different ways. You can check out my YouTube

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channel. It's absolutely free to check that out if that's what you are into. And if not, keep

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enjoying the show. And so that was that was that's always been my goal is like, can I can I stack

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enough evidence to give enough proof that I am who I say I am. And then so let me ask you

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it. When you want to make a decision, if you stack enough proof, you look at the evidence. And

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you say, I'm going to be pragmatic and say I did it here. I'm going to do it here. Yeah.

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What keeps you moving forward with that decision? When you make a decision, I'm asking you,

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when you make it says you just go no matter what, do you burn the boats or you one step at a time,

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this is proving itself because I just know one thing. Yeah. There's a middle ground between

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burning the boats and tipping, dipping your foot in. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Take the island burn the

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boats or let me just put my foot in the water and see there's a middle ground. Yeah. But I see

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sometimes where people are, they don't realize, I know we're going off in a different direction,

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but I think this is really important. They don't realize deep down they're waiting for it not to work.

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They're pretending they're moving. Yeah. But they're actually looking for evidence of it not working

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so they could say, see Alex wasn't a great partner or Bob's not that into it or nobody

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of 50 years old wants to lose weight. They don't care. Like they're, they don't realize it's like

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when you're sick and you Google it and like I do have a book in Dubai. Right. Yeah. You're not looking

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for no. It's a headache. Take a time. Right. So how can we help people realize that you can't,

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you can't go into if you decide I'm going to be pragmatic because I have proof. I have past

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experience. I'm going to do it. Yes, you want to test, but you got to go in looking for the right

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outcome. Yeah. It's it. It's a really tough because like I see this even and you know what?

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And this is everyone who's listening. It happens at every level. So like I talked to founders who

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were doing a hundred million dollars a year. And I'm like, well, have you tried this? And they're like,

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yeah, we tried that. I'm like, try this and I'm like, oh, we tried that. I've tried this.

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Oh, we tried that. And I've named six other things. And I'm like, oh, okay, you're right. You're

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screwed. You're just never going to succeed. And I want to say like that. They're like, well,

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and I'm like, well, which is it? And all of a sudden, because like some people like to be

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contrarian because of like that's their nature. They just want to disagree. They want to prove

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it wrong. They want to buy the course, attend the workshop and then prove that they're a special

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snowflake. And I think you just look at like you can look at yourself in the mirror and be like,

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you're right. You are a special stomach. You are never going to succeed. Now what?

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And I think on some level, if you get if you get to that point, then it's like, well,

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you have nothing to lose. And I think in some ways, that makes you more dangerous than anyone.

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Yeah. And it's funny because like, it's all about how you frame the position, right? And I used

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to tell it because we had a big, we had a big gym licensing company. So we had thousands of

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locations. And people would try and come into space and be like, well, how am I going to compete

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with you? You've got this big brand blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you don't realize

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the advantage you have because I'm going to, I'm going to wrap this up to the point. I was like,

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if you or if I were you and I'm coming up against me, I'm going to say, you're never going to

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see Alex. Alex is never going to is going to never going to help you with your gym. It's never

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going to do X, Y and Z. You're just a number of him. He's got this massive thing to me. You're

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going to get me. It's going to be personalized. I'm going to be super responsive. I was like,

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that's your position. I was like, on the flip side, my position is going to say, I've been doing this

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for a decade. I've got more success stories than every single other person put together. And

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are you going to trust this kid in his mom's basement? Who has no track record compared to me?

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Both positions have advantages. And so right now, the thing is that if you're day one, you never

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get this back, but you get to be underestimated. There's no advantage to being overestimated

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unless you're weak, right? But right now, no one will see you coming. If you have nothing going

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for you, it's another way of saying that you have nothing to lose. And so it means that you have

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endless shots on goal. And so you should be the most prone to taking action because there's nothing

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holding you back. What do you have? Nothing. I love that. It's literally just voices in your head

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from your mom who say that you're not going to win. And you say, you're right, mom. And then you

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keep doing it anyways. Yeah. I love in Agbandino's book. I love the world's greatest sales.

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One of my favorite books. And he talks about in one section, most people let their mindset control

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their actions. What if you let your actions determine your mindset? Do it when you don't feel

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like doing it. Move forward anyway. And I think that's the part I want to share today before

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we get into what's next is how do you get the momentum when you're scared? It's the uncomfortable

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action. And I would just say it's whatever it takes to get you to move forward. If it's saying,

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thank you for the telling me I'm not going to make it. I'm an underdog. That means no one will

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see me coming. I must do it anyway. Like whatever it takes for you to move forward, we must. Yeah.

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And I think that's why I love these conversations because each thing will impact some of these

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days enough. Today's the day where I'm not settling. Today's the day I will say yes. I will say no.

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I will move forward. One thing for me move forward. I want to ask you is, dude, you're an amazing

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shape. I worked out with you. It's really difficult to work out with you. You're so freaking ripped.

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You sold your company. You're buying other companies. You decided to go on social media.

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Dude, it's been fun watching you. You've skyrocketed to the top. You're all over the place.

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Which is awesome. What's one thing no one would know that still makes you scared at night when

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no one's around? Because most people think when they see success that you've killed all the demons,

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there's no dragons left to slay. But there's still something that goes, man, I could go broke.

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Or this could go wrong. Or I'm not good enough. I think it has, it has, obviously, I think it shifts

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over time. It does. I think, and I think the answer if you'd asked me a year ago would have been

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different than it is right now. But the thing that keeps me up is not being good enough to

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accomplish what my dreams are now. My dreams have expanded because of the proof that I have now.

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So now it's like I'm setting goalposts that are bigger than I can really imagine. And my fear is

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getting to the end of my life and not having accomplished those. And then thing like, I guess I

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wasn't good enough to do that thing. And I think that, like, and I think I've had a little bit of

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time to be like, all right, is that really, you know, and I play the mental game with myself,

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but I would say on some level that's still a thing that that keeps me up.

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And the reason I ask you that is because I have similar features and no one would ever think that

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and it doesn't mean it should stop you from moving forward. It doesn't stop you. You still get up

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every day. You still love what you do. You still move forward. You still make mistakes. You still

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have some fears. You still wake up. Someones go, what the hell am I doing? Right? Isn't

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enough? Is that when you sold your last company, you could have been done. You and Layla could be

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doing whatever you wanted. You went right back in investing the money and buying companies.

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So what you just said about taking the action anyway, right? I think that going back to what we

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were saying earlier about giving yourself that proof, that evidence, it's like all you have to do

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is get the first piece of evidence. And so it's like, if you just take one action, then you can start

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labeling yourself as like, I am somebody who takes action because I have this proof right here.

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And so it's just stacking and then you stack two or three of those and you're like, you know what,

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I'm on a streak. And then you're like, I am the type of person who does these things. And you said

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the mindset preceding the action, right? This is the point that I was trying to get to.

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If the actions lead to the mindset, then it means that the actions give you the evidence of the

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mindset you should have. And so it's a really good point. Right. And so that gives like the actions

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become your evidence. And so if you're like, well, I have no evidence, then it's like, then you

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can make evidence. And that's how, and guess what? That's how everyone else did it.

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What do they say about entrepreneurs? You make shit up and they make it real, right? I mean,

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that's that's really what we do. And we end to fuel that is the evidence. You know, if anybody could

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see our, it's funny. It's kind of like we have fun, alter egos sometimes when we text.

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Oh, yeah, I'm going broke. I'm done. It's over. Can I borrow money? We had this joke

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about we help each other whenever we can when it comes to our businesses, just simple stuff when

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we brainstorm. And I said, Hey, if you sell your company for that much money, I want everything to

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the right of the decimal. And I still have the check. I think you set me a check for 46 cents.

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So it was awesome. I was hoping for 99 cents. But as we joke, there's truth in everything, right?

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We joke, oh my god. You know, what if what if the the dollar collapses? What if this country

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keeps the media and politicians keep making us think we should hate each other and we're so polarized

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that we're not focusing on the big prize. We're worried about the little things when other countries

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are exponentially growing and other companies starving. Like there's so many things that we're

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distracted with it. And right now people have a lot of worries. Are we going in to a recession?

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Could it be a depression? Could the dollar actually be replaced in 20 years, 50 years, two years?

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Yeah. Right. These some people are thinking I don't even that's I don't care about that. Some

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people are worried every day about it. But there's so many things right now that have been uncertain,

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especially since COVID happened three years ago. And you know, it's like they're the rules of the

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game seem to be changing. And I think it's caused this level of uncertainty and fear that I again,

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I said earlier, when you're under pressure, you kind of resort back sometimes when you're in your

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pressure, you freeze. So I don't want to get into if the dollar is going to collapse. And if we

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should invest in crypto or gold or real estate or companies or tea bills, that could go we could

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we could spend days on that. I know. But how do you get people? How would you suggest people get

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clarity to navigate through this? That's kind of the upstream question. It's a big question.

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But wherever I go now, it depends on where somebody is and what their economics are. But most

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questions people will first say is Dean, what should I do in my cash? Or can I actually make cash

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right now? Or should I actually want dollars? Should I invest in India and China? But upstream,

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how do you get people to get out of that uncertainty mode so they can make clear decisions?

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So I have a couple of mental exercises that I actually go through for this. And so I try and

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reframe reality in a couple of ways. One of them is I try and play out the absolute hypothetical

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worst scenario. Right? And so the worst scenario is I die. Okay. Then I won't be worried about it

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because I'll be dead. Right? It won't affect me. Okay. So like one degree less than that. It's

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like, okay, well, what if I go like I'm I'm reduced to the I absolutely nothing. It's like, okay,

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well, real talk. There are homeless kitchens and there are places that I could that I could crash

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and eat and whatever. I'm like, okay, so I probably won't start. So I actually probably won't die

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in the actual worst case scenario. And when you look at people for subjective well-being in poor

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countries, there's often people who are happier on average than us in the US. And so I think

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I reframe it as like, well, what problem are we solving? And so if it's like, well, I'm worried

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about AI, is it going to take my job? And, and will I lose all the money? It's like, well, you'll

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probably be just about as happy and unhappy as you are right now because all of those things

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presuppose a single assumption, which is that your circumstances dictate your mood or your

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happiness. And so if and you all you have to do is listen to anybody who's made lots of whatever

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the thing is for you. They got the Grammy. They made the movie that whatever it is, right?

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They all get there and they're like, it didn't make me any happier, right? Change the thing.

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And so we asked these questions about what if all these circumstances change, but it has an

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underlying assumption that because the circumstances change, I'm going to become less happy. And that's

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what our fear comes from. But if we disconnect our circumstances, because if Victor Frockel

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and the Holocaust, and I think about these examples, because like I try and think of hypothetical

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extremes, or like the millions of people who've been slaves in general across countries,

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across time periods, they all somehow actually manage to have kids survive, you know, like and keep

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doing it. And don't be wrong. I'm saying it's horrible. But I use it as an example of how bad

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circumstances can be and yet humans continue to survive. And so the problem mind, right,

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will always find new things to look at because it wants to keep you alive, right? Because that's

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it's objective, but it doesn't want to keep you happy. And so if we can just simply break the

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connection of the underlying assumption that whatever happens, whether it's the dollar or the

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yen or AI takes over the world, because I genuinely think I'm like, well, if AI takes completely

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over everything, I'm like, then my 401K doesn't matter too much, right? So like, I worry about these

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things that in the hypothetical extreme that I'm also worried about wouldn't matter. And in my opinion,

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I'll probably be just as happier as unhappy as I am right now, or as I have evolved in my awareness,

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which will be disconnected from outside circumstance. And so that's why I asked you because I know

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so many times that we've had conversations, you have mental models or framework around certain

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thinking because that that is so powerful, thinking about the worst case scenario. And if that

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actually did happen, would you be happier or less happy? And the fact of the matter is I don't think

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it changes at all. I'm going to give you one. So everybody who's listening to this right now,

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you remember when you were younger, you were poor, and you had nothing. And guess what? You

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still probably think about that as the good old days. Yeah, true story. And so like, why are we so

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afraid of going back to a scenario that in the future, today we might be in the good old days?

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Yeah. And it's like it's a weird mental frame, right? No, the crazy part of it is if you're living

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in a future that could go wrong, you're preventing yourself in the present from being all you can be.

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Yeah, totally. Right. And if you live in the present saying these might be the good old days,

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you will take more risk. You will have more courage to move forward. You will make bold,

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uncomfortable decisions in the moment, rather than sitting on your hands, hoping things don't go

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sideways. One of my buddies, my closest friend is a philosopher. I know that sounds ridiculous,

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but he acts, that's like pretty much what he does. And he gave me this frame called the frame of

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the veteran. And so imagine you lose all your money, right? So this is the terrible thing.

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Right? Actually, let's go, let's go. I'm going to go micro really quickly and then we'll scale it

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up. So let's say you're in traffic, right? And you hate traffic, traffic sucks. Okay. Well,

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if you're not in traffic normally and then you're in traffic, it's terrible. But if every time

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you got in the car, from here until the day you die, there was always traffic. What would happen?

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You would just get used to it. Right. And so you become a veteran. It's just something that,

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like, this is just how it always is. And so if you can, if your mind can mentally weather itself

367
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to get to that point, then it means that you can apply that same frame to this moment that's

368
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inconvenient. I had this shirt that I liked a lot and the cleaning person messed it up. And it

369
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sounds ridiculous. And I thought about this. And I was like, well, if every time, and he would

370
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just shrunk too much, this all was. And I was like, well, if every time I watched a shirt,

371
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it always had this level of shrinking. I was like, what I really care. And I was like, well, no,

372
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I guess not. I was like, okay. I'm done with it. And that was it. But like, I just remember,

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that was the first time I ever used the frame of the veteran because you just told me and then I

374
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just got to apply it immediately. And so I just give it a shot if you're like really stressing

375
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about stuff. So I love that framework. And I always think about, I heard Ed my let's say this

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once. I always use it. Imagine I always thought of, imagine meeting the person you could have

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been at the end of your life. Ed my let's, I think he said one time is like, imagine if God

378
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played you a video of the man or the woman you could have been, if you would have been bold.

379
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And if you were at that moment of someone, you know, God has an iPhone, pulls it out and says,

380
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hey, Alex, if you weren't so afraid, if you didn't go against what your parents said,

381
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if you wouldn't have been a doctor, you'd have been okay. But this is who you would have been,

382
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like, oh my God, what would you wish? Let me go back and do it again. Wish granted, right?

383
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If we can put ourselves in that moment, we can give ourselves that wish of saying, no, no,

384
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this is not one of those things I want to regret at the end. Yeah.