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There have been so many times in my life where I knew I needed to do something, and then

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I filled all this extra time not doing that thing.

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And then the moment I did it, I was like, wow, that took way less time than I thought

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it was going to take, and not only that, it took way less time than it took me to delay

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to actually get to this point.

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And if I had only started with just doing what I was supposed to do, I could have done

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four or five other things that I was also supposed to do by this exact same point.

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So thinking about it from that perspective, I've tried to eliminate as much time between

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I think I should do this thing in the beginning doing it.

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And I think you get this positive reinforcement cycle that occurs every time you start, I

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call it pulling the thread, it's like, I just need to start pulling the thread.

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And then all of a sudden, what feels really unknown becomes very tangible, and you're

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like, oh, I understand the six problems I have to solve to do this big thing.

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But now I know the problems, and then it feels like you can wrap your arms around it,

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and then you can start taking it one bite at a time.

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This same thing works in reverse as well, that when you put something off, it makes putting

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it off more manana, manana, manana.

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I used to define power by the distance between thoughts and reality, meaning if you think

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about somebody who's omnipotent, so if God or the God figure would be omnipotent as he

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thinks things are, so there's zero space between thoughts and reality.

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And so if we want to be more God-like in our lives, the distance that we can shrink

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between wanting to do something or thinking something should be done, and it being done

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is a direct indication of our personal power in our lives.

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And so that has helped me basically think, don't be a powerless bitch.

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Just shrink the gap.

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And I think that's why a lot of my little personal hacks of waking up and then trying to shrink

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the time between when I wake up and when I start working and shrinking the time between

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one task and the next task.

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Like you don't need to take 30 minutes of getting ready to start working.

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Like you can just start working because as soon as you get into it, you start pulling

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the thread and you're like, oh, here it is.

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And all of the time that I was getting ready to work, I was just using up my best brain

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power time on things that truly don't move the needle at all.

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Yeah, I came to call that the productivity rain dance that you sort of do this weird sacred

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ritual beforehand.

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And we've spoken about this before.

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But it's, you know, there are certain things that you can do that will make success or

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productivity or focus more likely and better.

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Totally.

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That doesn't mean that you should disregard them.

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That overreliance on them makes a very fragile, unrobust way to get into working.

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I would delineate the difference between preparation and routine.

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And so if I'm preparing for a presentation, for example, I might assemble my notes, I

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might read some stuff about the audience ahead of time.

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I might read about whoever's, you know, doing the event and learn more about that.

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I see that as preparation for the thing, which I still see as work.

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And I think some people, I made a post about how preparation is like everything I put a

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lot into preparation.

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They're like, oh, see, you have a morning routine.

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I was like, no, no, no, I don't need to, you know, stand on one foot and do 17 cold

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plunges and write six affirmations because none of those things are directly related to

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the work that I'm going to do.

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And so for me, if it's basically preparation, it's just a stage of the work.

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And so if I need to prepare to work, then that's fine as long as it's related to the

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work that I'm going to be doing.

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Well, we spoke about this yesterday, the difference between focusing on inputs and focusing

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on outcomes.

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Right.

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If you optimize for outcomes, the inputs are always optimized.

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But if you optimize for inputs, what did I actually get done at the end of the day?

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So the person that does do the productivity rain dance and it takes ages and everyone's

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done this.

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He's paper in front of them and they end up washing dishes that they never use or eaten

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of them.

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The weirdest tasks become alluring because of that, focusing on outcomes.

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I so we when we brought this up as perfect as I had a whole thing that I was wanting to

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talk to you about this.

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So I'm a big proponent of something I call the rule of 100 and I'm not the one who invented

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this, but it's basically a hundred primary actions.

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So I talk about this within the context of advertising.

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So you make a hundred minutes of content.

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You do a hundred outreach if you're doing outbound.

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You do, you spend a hundred dollars a day on ads, you or and if you've already spent

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the money on ads, then you're doing a hundred hundred minutes a day of writing ad copy,

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looking at other people's ads, looking for hooks and then trying to create more advertisements

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for your business.

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And the rule of 100, for most people, takes about four hours a day, yes.

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And the thing is that's pure inputs, not output.

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But I've already taken the time to define what those inputs are that create the outputs.

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But later on in the book, 100 million dollar leads, I talk about the rule of 100 on steroids

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which is something that I learned from a guy who owned 13 or 14 really successful gems.

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And he called it open to goal.

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And he said, yeah, yeah, yeah, he said, my managers work open to goal.

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And I was like, what does that mean?

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It's like, so they work open until they hit their goal.

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And so sometimes that means they hit their goal by noon and they can cut out.

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Or that means that they have to go from five AM until midnight that night, because that's

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how long it takes them to hit the goal.

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And so I've seen this across a lot of high achievers across domains.

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So like, I'll keep shooting free shots until I hit 100 free shots.

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I will run until this happens.

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I will practice my presentation until I do zero mess ups, right?

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Or whatever that output is that you want for quality or quantity.

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And I think that you have to first figure out what the input is that most closely correlates

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or tracks with the output you want.

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And then you jam as much as you possibly can in inputs.

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Because if I said, hey, go get me 10 customers, somebody, yeah, exactly you freeze because

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it's like, well, what do I do?

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And so then normally people start, they skew like behavior skew.

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So it's all over the place.

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It's scattered, the shotguns sprays.

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And then they eventually figure out one thing that works.

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And then it's like, once you hit that, then you just jam that button as hard as you possibly

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can.

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I've been disproportionately successful on different domains of my life by ruthlessly focusing

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on one input.

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I mean, even when I was a kid when I played video games, it's like if you find a spawn point

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for zombies right before the end of the level, I would just sit there for like eight hours

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and just wait for the troll to come up and just slice them again and get my little diamonds

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and put it in.

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And I would just do that for hours because I was like, oh, I got a level up my avatar.

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But I think I play the game of business the exact same way.

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Andy Groves says there are so many people working so hard and achieving so little.

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And that's the lack of correlation between inputs and outcomes.

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Yeah.

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I think the vast majority of business, obviously I come from the business perspective, the

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vast majority of business owners work a fair amount.

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They just work on the wrong stuff and they do it the wrong way.

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And so they get so little for their effort that they wonder when they're at home empty

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handed in bed, why is in this working when I am working?

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But if you define work, at least the way I do, which is output.

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So I define work by output.

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And in order to get output, it's volume times leverage.

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So how many times you do the thing, times how much you get for each time you do it.

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And so that is the do you work smart or do you work hard?

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It's you do both.

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So many reps as you possibly can and you were, you do it with the most leverage possible.

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So if I make a hundred phone calls, the leverage that I can have there would be how skilled

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I am.

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So if I make a hundred calls, I might get 10 times more.

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And so I worked more, I had more output than somebody has less skill.

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But the only way you get skilled is by doing more inputs, by working more.

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And so it's this virtuous cycle of doing more and getting better and then you get more

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for what you do.

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Yeah.

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Magic you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding all the time.

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Every single time that there is, we're not making progress in this way.

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What is the highest pain task that's in front of me that I've put off the most?

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It's always that one.

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It always is, you know, after you spend enough time thinking about work and deconstructing

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the way that you piece your day and your life together, you sometimes believe that the

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answer is is still out there and what you actually realize is that you've already learned

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it.

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And it's like, it's that quote or that insight or that book.

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It's one of the first books you read because all of the big insights from productivity

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and personal development are the lowest hanging fruit.

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They're the ones that are repeated across the most book because they're the most reliable,

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scalable and robust.

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It's like, I don't need to be looking out there for most of the new insights.

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They're just shit that I already learned.

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Yeah, we need to be reminded more than we need to be taught.

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From my favorites.

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Bad things don't come in threes.

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Bad things happen.

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People don't know how to cope.

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And they allow one bad thing to snowball into more bad stuff sucks.

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The only thing worse is letting one bad thing ruin many good things.

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I'm glad you found that one.

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That was on that list of things that, you know, quotes I wish had gone more viral.

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The amount of, I think it happens more when you're younger, but, you know, girlfriend breaks

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up with you.

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Okay, then you go into work and you sulk because you're distracted and then you don't

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do the same level of effort and you're not enthusiastic.

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And then all of a sudden your work suffers and you get, you get put on a pit where you

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get fired.

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And then now you're fired and you don't have a girlfriend and then you start gaining

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weight and you stop going to the gym and all of a sudden you're like, man, bad things

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happen in threes.

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It's like, no, bad things happen all the time.

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And they only become interrelated if you let it affect your behavior.

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And so I think the equal opposite of that is thinking, okay, this bad thing occurred.

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What can I do to decrease the likelihood of something else bad occurs in the meantime?

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And then boiling everything down to activities or the actions that I have to take.

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And I think about that actually a lot, which is how, like, if you think about it from

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the power perspective of, okay, something bad happens.

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How much would affect my behavior?

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Well, the person who is indestructible would have something terrible happen and then nothing

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would change.

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And I love all that.

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Get better.

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Exactly.

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Yeah.

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That's unefragility, right?

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Yeah.

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I love Gryffindor.

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It only drinks in that, which makes it stronger.

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Fucking Harry Potter reference when expecting that.

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Yeah.

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The people don't know how to cope thing, especially with bad stuff is, um, it does explain

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why you end up with this weird spiral.

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Tiny little avalanche pebble at the top and then this huge sort of over exaggerated reaction

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downstream.

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Yeah.

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People don't know how to manage their emotions.

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I think the more, at least for me, the more I've tried to create space between how I feel

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and what I do, the more consistent my outcomes have been.

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What do you mean?

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So if I need to create content and I'm not feeling it or I'm feeling tired or things

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like that, the more times I give into that excuse or that feeling, then the more superstitious

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I become about doing it in the future, whereas a lot of times if I can just start when

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I am tired or when something is painful and then still execute about the same as before,

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I look at game tape or I look at video or look at the content from those sessions, for

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example, and I see that I remember feeling terrible during the session, but you can't

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really see anything.

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And I think the more times you get that loop going, the more you can separate how you

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feel and what is required.

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And the more times you do what is required to get what you want, the more times you get

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what you want.

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I spoke to Heubin last year.

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I think it's called the anterior mid-singular cortex.

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It's an area of the brain.

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If I've got that right, I'm fucking, yes, bro, the best advert for Nutonic ever.

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Actually there is an area of the brain that tracks when you do something that you don't

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want to do and you strengthen the connections in it by doing things that you don't want

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to do, especially when you really don't want to do them.

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So you're hypertrophying.

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It's this exact sort of intuition that you've got that some people will call it resilience

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or willpower or whatever, but this is neurologically represented in the brain.

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These connections get stronger.

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So I think it's so funny, Jim Bros. will need a gym analogy in order to be able to believe

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that their brain changes, but it's really useful to think, hey, you're hypertrophying this

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area of your brain.

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I snapped in the killies.

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I had to do a very particular series of rehab movements in order to grow it back.

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This is just the same.

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Yeah, agreed.

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Successful people, this is kind of similar to what you were talking about, bad things

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don't come in threes.

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People see opportunity in every failure, normal people see failure in every opportunity,

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both the right.

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Only one gets rich.

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Yeah, so I was, so this has been something I've been thinking about a lot, which is basically

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the shittiness of stuff, which is when you're growing in a business, it's very painful.

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When you're stagnating in a business in your plateau and you don't know what to do,

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it's very painful.

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When you're declining and you also don't know what to do, it's very painful.

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And so that means that all conditions of reality are painful.

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And so if pain is a prerequisite for reality, then it means it's just a signal that we are

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alive.

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And so in thinking about that, rather than pain as a problem, it is a signal that I'm breathing,

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and then becomes irrelevant.

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How do you ensure that you're not suffering unnecessarily?

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You know, pain can be a useful signal, it can tell you to move away from certain things

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that are suboptimal.

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Yeah.

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I am, I probably have relatively contrary views on this, but just even the judgment on pain

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I relatively reject, just like pain is good, pain is bad.

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I mean, in the gym to give the gym, gym example, they found that the pain that you experience

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when you're going to work out, and there's a difference between like massive joint,

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like, oh, I just snapped a muscle and like just feeling bad, but feeling bad has zero

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correlation to your performance in the gym.

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And so I remember reading that for the Olympic, you know, weight teams, they talked about

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that.

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And I was like, oh, well, if it has no correlation, then it's almost irrelevant.

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And I can just keep living my life.

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And so I think the ultimate version of the resilience that you were referencing earlier

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is rather than, you know, in the beginning, you're like, I feel bad.

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And then you think that that should weigh on the decision of whether you do the thing

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that you're supposed to do.

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And then you start realizing that you can do the thing, even though you don't feel good

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about it.

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And you start hypertrophying it.

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But I think the ultimate version of the hypertrophy, when the muscle becomes a tendon

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or it just becomes fused, is when you don't even consider how you feel, it's just not a

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thought.

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You just keep, you just do it.

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It's that movement from sort of type two to type one thinking, you know, from it being

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very conscious, very effortful to, it's just a reaction.

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I get up and I start to write.

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Right.

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And you don't use up any war power because it's just what you do.

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Right.

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There's a Rory Sutherland we were talking about yesterday in his, he's the only guy that

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I've ever heard swear in a TED talk.

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And he gave me this idea, and she's kind of related.

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Things are not what they are, things are what we think they are.

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For instance, you're doing a hard workout, which gives you a signature feeling.

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You're laid on the floor, panting, heart rate at 180, sweating from everywhere with the

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taste of metal in your mouth.

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This is oddly enjoyable.

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But if this exact same sensation was to spontaneously occur in your car while sat in traffic, you'd

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call an ambulance for fear that you're having a heart attack.

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Framing is everything.

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Rory Sutherland says, sometimes you just want to stand in the corner and stare out of

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the window.

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The problem is when you're not smoking and staring out of the window, you're an anti-social

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friendless idiot.

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If you stand and stare out of the window with a cigarette, you're a fucking philosopher.

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The power of reframing things cannot be overstated.

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It's significantly easier to find a way to reframe your experiences as enjoyable while

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you improve them, rather than waiting for them to be done before you give yourself license

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to be happy.

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A friend of mine, she's a very, very successful therapist, and she always asks her patients

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when they come to her and say some terrible thing happened.

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She said, what would it take for this to be amazing?

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For example, Lady Cump says we're getting a divorce and she says, what would it take

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for this to be amazing?

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It just completely shifts the reality of like, okay, how could this be an amazing thing

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that could happen to me?

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This is relevant for me, shifting gears, because we just had a big tryout inside of our

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company for a presentation slot that we have in an event.

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So we had a bunch of the leaders in the company that was like the fucking hunger games.

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Yeah, we put a cash prize out.

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Fight to the death, pitchforks.

305
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We did?

306
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No, we put a big cash prize out there.

307
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Oh, yeah, I totally did that.

308
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I told them I was like, I'll have no expression.

309
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Just in a toga.

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Yeah, exactly.

311
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Yeah.

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And I could tell that some of them were nervous.

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And I thought about this because I speak a fair amount and I don't get a lot of nerves

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in general.

315
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A whole bunch of thoughts on that, but the most basic one is that if you're still feeling

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anxiety, which many of them were like, hey, I'm so nervous, I have a lot of anxiety before

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going up, I thought about it and champions just interpret anxiety as excitement.

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And if you're excited to go up, then you're like, I'm amped versus I'm stressed, but it

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feels the same the way you frame it totally changes how you feel when you're stepping

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on stage.

321
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But my two sense of if you are feeling lots of anxiety, it means you need to practice

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more.

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That's just my two sense.

324
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And that comes for everything.

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Whether it's to have a meeting or give a presentation or write an email or do a book,

326
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like if you feel nervous before you release it, then you probably didn't work on it enough.

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And I think the reality is that most people to get not anxious about whatever they're

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doing, you have to do it so many times that by the last time you're doing it, you're

329
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bored of it.

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Like you don't even want to see the thing again when you're sick of it is the point where

331
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you'll have no adrenal response to the stimulus because you've seen it so many times.

332
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You could do it in your sleep because you hated it at this point.

333
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And then when you get up, you're like, oh my God, let's just do this because I can breathe

334
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this over with.

335
00:18:34.920 --> 00:18:35.920
Yeah.

336
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What's the gap between your expectation of what is going to happen and the requirement

337
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that you need to perform, right?

338
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This is where I need to be and this is how I think I'm going to perform as opposed

339
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to the other way.

340
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So I saw this firsthand when I did the live tour last year.

341
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I did, I think, 17 shows in 28 days, three continents, right?

342
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Like proper tour, like real proper, proper tour thing.

343
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And you know, I did four work in progress shows and then that run all around UK, Ireland,

344
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Dubai, Canada, US, Canada again, US again.

345
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And I could see because it was around about every other day for a month and each time

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that I stepped out on stage, every single time that I even I'd done the prep, I'd spent

347
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all of this time, I'd done the thing, I'd tried to, you know, I'm nervous, I'm excited,

348
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I'm not nervous.

349
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I'm excited.

350
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Um, still that degraded over time until at the end of it.

351
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And this is why comedians, I think when they end up doing really big tours, one of my friends

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did a 300 day tour of the same show.

353
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He said, I no longer felt like a comedian, I was a performer because he's not stepping

354
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out on stage.

355
00:19:41.800 --> 00:19:47.560
He is so dialed and routineized that he's bored while he does it.

356
00:19:47.560 --> 00:19:54.680
And yeah, that's how you look at, oh my God, Joe Rogan just did Netflix live to fucking

357
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God knows how many millions of people, metropolitan area of San Antonio's internet probably went

358
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down for him to be able to get that connection moving.

359
00:20:02.320 --> 00:20:04.160
And how could he do that?

360
00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:06.080
All of these people watching all the rest of it.

361
00:20:06.080 --> 00:20:11.680
That set that Joe did, I've seen at the Vulcan gas company downtown in Austin and I've

362
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:17.920
seen it at the mothership in different iterations for coming up on three years now and his last

363
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special was six years ago.

364
00:20:19.520 --> 00:20:24.440
That guy has said to those sentences and waited those times and got those laughs and understood

365
00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:34.400
the inflections and the little pauses he needs to do, maybe 300 times on that one set.

366
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:36.600
There's no more degrees of free.

367
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The only thing that could go wrong is a real quirk mistake that's kind of to be honest

368
00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:42.400
out of your control.

369
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If you misspeak a word when you're paying attention, that's not your fault.

370
00:20:46.560 --> 00:20:51.880
So yeah, that's how people have unbelievable performance ability.

371
00:20:51.880 --> 00:20:56.440
It's just a case of stepping there sort of one degree of competence at a time.

372
00:20:56.440 --> 00:21:01.760
And if we think of confidence as the percentage likelihood of what we think is going to happen

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will happen as a predictive metric, then in order to be more confident, we want to have

374
00:21:08.120 --> 00:21:11.280
more proof that what we think will happen will happen.

375
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And so the easiest way to do that is to do it a lot of times.

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00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:17.480
And so it would be reasonable to say that you're confident that it will go the way you want

377
00:21:17.480 --> 00:21:20.880
because it has gone the way you've wanted so many times in a row before.

378
00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:25.640
Just realized, I've never thought of this before, the fact that the word confidence is

379
00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:30.040
in how we describe it from a psychological perspective and confidence is in the interval

380
00:21:30.040 --> 00:21:34.040
level that you have numerically at the same fucking word.

381
00:21:34.040 --> 00:21:35.040
That's so funny.

382
00:21:35.040 --> 00:21:37.040
Operationalizing.

383
00:21:37.040 --> 00:21:38.040
What?

384
00:21:38.040 --> 00:21:40.800
How do you become confident?

385
00:21:40.800 --> 00:21:46.800
Do it enough times that you feel like it is unlikely that what you think should happen

386
00:21:46.800 --> 00:21:47.800
won't happen.

387
00:21:47.800 --> 00:21:50.480
My model of the world is accurate.

388
00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:52.000
I'm confident when I go up to girls.

389
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:55.640
Well, you start going up to girls and you start taking and then one out of ten times

390
00:21:55.640 --> 00:21:59.160
it goes well and then you do it another ten times and two out of ten times goes well

391
00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:01.720
and then four out of ten times and then eight out of ten times and all of a sudden you're

392
00:22:01.720 --> 00:22:06.480
confident because you go high a degree of predictive power when you say it will go this way.

393
00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:10.480
That's a such a good reframing of confidence and the best part is you get to use the same

394
00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:13.760
word and you can boil it down to inputs.

395
00:22:13.760 --> 00:22:15.160
You just have to do more.

396
00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:19.640
This is my favorite one, I think, from you up to the last few months.

397
00:22:19.640 --> 00:22:24.920
You once wanted the life you have and if you don't like the life you have, you probably

398
00:22:24.920 --> 00:22:28.680
won't like the one you want but don't have either.

399
00:22:28.680 --> 00:22:34.080
Yeah, this one I think about all the time because I think about the life that I have now

400
00:22:34.080 --> 00:22:40.360
and I know that I wanted this life but I obviously do a lot of thinking about this type

401
00:22:40.360 --> 00:22:45.960
of stuff but the equal opposite of that is that when I was poor I was pretty happy.

402
00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:54.800
I was okay with being poor and now that I am rich I put quotes on that degrees.

403
00:22:54.800 --> 00:23:00.760
It's about the same and so then it just goes down to well then the richness had nothing

404
00:23:00.760 --> 00:23:05.800
to do with the level of contentedness which means that my wants in past and present and

405
00:23:05.800 --> 00:23:13.200
future all go into the bucket of irrelevant in terms of their ability to affect my perception

406
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:21.400
of reality in the present and so in thinking about that it makes my wants have less stake

407
00:23:21.400 --> 00:23:25.360
today and so a lot of anxiety that I think a lot of people have is around things that

408
00:23:25.360 --> 00:23:30.120
haven't happened yet either good or bad like I hope this speech goes well or I hope I

409
00:23:30.120 --> 00:23:33.640
get this job promotion but the reality is that once you get the job promotion you wanted

410
00:23:33.640 --> 00:23:38.200
it you resettle and the negative version of this is and I'm you've probably seen this

411
00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:43.400
stuff but when handicap people get handicap so they have a terrible accident they get paralyzed

412
00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:46.960
or they lose a leg or whatever there's a dip in their subjective well-being but after

413
00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:52.360
3-6 months it typically restabilizes which means that if I didn't get paralyzed or even

414
00:23:52.360 --> 00:23:56.880
if I did get paralyzed it'd be just about as content as I am right now it's like whatever

415
00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:00.800
is about to happen is probably not as bad as that and so that's the worst case scenario

416
00:24:00.800 --> 00:24:05.720
which is nothing so okay good things aren't as good as you think they aren't bad things

417
00:24:05.720 --> 00:24:11.960
aren't as bad as you think they are life is life lights the it's the you've already achieved

418
00:24:11.960 --> 00:24:17.480
goals that you said would make you happy again it's the other side of this and you know

419
00:24:17.480 --> 00:24:25.040
the fact that we take for granted things that only in recent memory we would have begged

420
00:24:25.040 --> 00:24:30.200
to have had the opportunity to have been able to have and now we're flippant about them

421
00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:34.400
the new car that you thought about and you researched for 18 months and then you finally

422
00:24:34.400 --> 00:24:39.760
got it and you just curb the tires yesterday and you're all right whatever and like you

423
00:24:39.760 --> 00:24:43.120
really you spent all of this time thinking about the house that you're going to move

424
00:24:43.120 --> 00:24:46.880
into the marriage that you were going to do the holiday you were going to take I told

425
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:51.480
you about this last time Morgan Housel steps out onto after this huge big buildup with

426
00:24:51.480 --> 00:24:55.920
his kids and his wife steps out into the balcony of this holiday that he'd taken and his

427
00:24:55.920 --> 00:25:00.360
first thought was wow it would be so good if we could come back here next year that was

428
00:25:00.360 --> 00:25:04.600
like during the process of experiencing the thing he was thinking about the next thing

429
00:25:04.600 --> 00:25:13.360
and he caught himself and thought okay this means that success isn't a goal a journey

430
00:25:13.360 --> 00:25:18.480
or a destination when you get it wrong it's a horizon every single step that you take

431
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:26.520
towards it it runs one step further away so during my year off that I took after you

432
00:25:26.520 --> 00:25:29.720
are during the year of the sale when I couldn't you couldn't I couldn't really work on

433
00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:34.120
the business because you want to change anything major when you're going through sale but

434
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:37.680
I didn't know if I was going to be owning this business soon so I basically just had

435
00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:41.160
to do nothing because I also had to demonstrate that the team could do it without me so

436
00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:44.760
that's still a sellable asset so I basically just sat there for a year that's what a lot

437
00:25:44.760 --> 00:25:50.800
of my like thoughts kind of caught up from you know when I started years earlier and that

438
00:25:50.800 --> 00:25:56.200
was when I kind of refined my kind of theory of living for me which is that hard work

439
00:25:56.200 --> 00:26:02.920
is the goal and so it's not like work hard so that X because as soon as you have a so

440
00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:09.440
that then the X is the thing but if the goal is to work as hard as you possibly can then

441
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:16.960
the only real output we have is who we become along the way and so in reframing that then

442
00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:21.920
it's something that I can win or measure myself against every day in real time throughout

443
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:28.160
the day which is how hard am I working because that is the goal and then even I say this

444
00:26:28.160 --> 00:26:33.000
just for audio but like everything else takes care of itself still puts the everything

445
00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:38.880
else as the goal still is just being bigger but if you just say like the only point is

446
00:26:38.880 --> 00:26:42.480
working hard because I know that whatever I'm going to get is stuff that I will become

447
00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:49.240
accustomed to and the I guess opposite of the hedonic treadmill is like you're the resilience

448
00:26:49.240 --> 00:26:57.720
piece is that my ability to work hard itself is growable and so I just need to keep my R.P.

449
00:26:57.720 --> 00:27:02.680
my rate of perceived exertion at eight or nine or ten because I knew that when I look back

450
00:27:02.680 --> 00:27:07.000
on my life the days that I loved the most were days when I had nothing left in the tank and

451
00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:11.000
there's this thing that Jesse Itzler has this and I love it I hate him for having it because it's

452
00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:17.240
so fucking good but he has he taught his kids which is he has them they have a little zero means

453
00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:21.080
that there's nothing left in the tank and when they finish a race or they do whatever it's like

454
00:27:21.080 --> 00:27:27.000
did you leave not did you leave anything in the tank and I thought about that and the best days

455
00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:31.320
of my life were ones when I had nothing left in the tank and so then the goal becomes to empty the

456
00:27:31.320 --> 00:27:39.480
tank not what where I drive but just to drive the car as hard as I possibly can and that means

457
00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:43.080
that in the beginning it's just straightaways and just seeing how high I can rev the engine but

458
00:27:43.080 --> 00:27:46.840
as it become more advanced it's like all right when now we've got turns and then it turns an elevation

459
00:27:47.800 --> 00:27:52.600
without guard rails because we have risk and so when I think about how hard I want to work

460
00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:57.080
the interesting thing about that is that the only person who can judge you on your success is you

461
00:27:57.080 --> 00:28:02.440
because you're the only one who knows how much left in the tank you really had and the better you

462
00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:08.200
get and you can resonate with this you start winning externally and that's when people are like

463
00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:12.440
it felt so empty it's because they didn't actually work as hard as they could have they just worked

464
00:28:12.520 --> 00:28:19.160
hard enough to beat everyone else but that discrepancy between how hard you could have worked to work

465
00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:24.920
your hardest versus what was required in order to win to me that's the opportunity that shifting

466
00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:30.120
towards the work being the goal unlocks for you and I work harder now than I did when I was poor

467
00:28:30.760 --> 00:28:39.480
and I think it's because I've learned to enjoy it how do you ensure that the hard work focus

468
00:28:39.480 --> 00:28:45.160
doesn't detach you from outcomes and inputs this seems like there's a little bit of attention

469
00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:52.520
with what we started talking about beginning just to it's direction over speed is the first one

470
00:28:52.520 --> 00:28:58.040
but we're now talking about maximizing for speed so how do we balance direction and speed

471
00:28:58.040 --> 00:29:03.400
so with the question if the outcome that we're trying to have is being present then the outcome

472
00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:06.600
actually is irrelevant because it's about how much empty the tank if we're talking about the

473
00:29:06.600 --> 00:29:12.520
signs of achievement then the outcome the outcome does matter obviously and so balancing both

474
00:29:12.520 --> 00:29:15.800
of those things which is that if I want to accomplish all my goals then I need to make sure that my

475
00:29:15.800 --> 00:29:21.560
inputs are tied as closely as seemingly possible to the outcome if I want to be satisfied it doesn't

476
00:29:21.560 --> 00:29:27.480
matter at all and so I think it's marrying those two ideas where the perfect world in my opinion would

477
00:29:27.480 --> 00:29:32.920
be you work as hard as you play out possibly can because you thought ahead of time what is the

478
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:37.240
input that has the closest correlation with the outcome that I want and then you put your blinders

479
00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:44.280
on and you start digging we don't rise to the standards we have when others are watching we fall

480
00:29:44.280 --> 00:29:49.240
to the standards we have when no one is watching the only work that really matters is the work that

481
00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:55.240
no one sees it shows you who you really are rather than who you say you are there's this line that

482
00:29:55.240 --> 00:30:01.080
I heard David Goggan say on Rogan and I can't remember who you're saying it to or what he said in

483
00:30:01.080 --> 00:30:09.560
response to but he just said I'm David Goggan's bitch and I remember him saying it and I thought to

484
00:30:09.560 --> 00:30:19.560
myself like you want to be able to say that in the mirror to yourself and not laugh at yourself

485
00:30:20.360 --> 00:30:26.680
and the only way that I can do that is know that when no one's watching I work harder than when

486
00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:35.000
they're watching and thinking about it like that has given me this persistent and ever present

487
00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:40.520
scorecard or third party that's like no one's watching which means now you have to work because

488
00:30:40.520 --> 00:30:48.600
otherwise you're full of shit and so it's this continuous reinforcing cycle of the me and other me

489
00:30:48.600 --> 00:30:55.640
holding the whip behind me to see how much I can take but with each lash of the whip that I take

490
00:30:56.200 --> 00:31:03.560
learning that I can take it and continue to try John and so as long as you keep going you bear witness

491
00:31:03.560 --> 00:31:12.680
to yourself of what you are capable of and I find that incredibly satisfying in the trenches

492
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:17.000
of misery when you have to go through it but it means you're not full of shit I'm still here it

493
00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:22.360
means that you're not full of shit what it comes down to is I think I told you this story about

494
00:31:22.360 --> 00:31:29.240
when I was with Sam last year in LA so Sam Evans used to make content on the internet now he's

495
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:33.880
very much an operator rather than a front facing which is funny to think about that Sam the creator

496
00:31:33.880 --> 00:31:39.560
is opposed to Sam the operator and I asked why he'd stop making content and he said because I felt

497
00:31:39.560 --> 00:31:45.400
like I had to start living up to in private the things which I was saying in public and he was

498
00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:51.480
beginning to feel discordance between the two you know he was making changes personally but he

499
00:31:51.480 --> 00:31:57.720
created a brand publicly but I think if you can get to the stage where the public version of you

500
00:31:57.720 --> 00:32:01.480
is the best version of you and then private you have to live up to the best version of you

501
00:32:01.480 --> 00:32:06.680
and then you get to do this sort of self-reinforcing cycle that's kind of the virtuous version of that

502
00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:10.840
which I guess is kind of similar to what you're talking about here so I think what we're teasing

503
00:32:10.840 --> 00:32:17.160
it is authenticity and so a lot of people feel like imposters because what they think what they say

504
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:22.360
and what they do are completely different but from an operational perspective because that's how I

505
00:32:22.360 --> 00:32:26.280
like to define a lot of words which is what do I have to do to be that right what do I have to do to be

506
00:32:26.280 --> 00:32:33.400
authentic and you can describe someone as authentic by saying how would you behave if there was no

507
00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:40.440
possibility of punishment and so if you could not be punished at all that behavior is who you are

508
00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:48.200
authentically and so in my opinion our degrees of freedom are predicated on how much to what extent

509
00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:53.720
we act as though we could not be punished and so if what we want to do and what we do

510
00:32:55.320 --> 00:32:59.640
have no possibility of punishment that is what we are when we are our true selves

511
00:33:00.760 --> 00:33:05.320
Jimmy Carl talks about nobody throws a coat count out of the window with kids in the back

512
00:33:05.720 --> 00:33:12.440
that means you're a fucking monster yeah it's what you do when there's no one around your old one

513
00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:17.160
about authenticity people are attracted to authenticity but it's hard to define for me here's my

514
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:23.640
best attempt true alignment of what you think what you say and what you do the hardest part is

515
00:33:23.640 --> 00:33:28.120
realizing that our thoughts are fucked and that we have to fix them instead of faking the next two

516
00:33:28.760 --> 00:33:33.080
and it's exactly that and I think that I actually think ground zero of that is living out your

517
00:33:33.080 --> 00:33:40.920
fucked thoughts and then slowly try like I think it's it's it's I think the hardest jump

518
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:45.240
is actually doing and saying what you think when someone's like hey what do you think about this

519
00:33:45.240 --> 00:33:51.400
and you're like I wasn't paying attention at all it's like oh wow okay and so then you basically

520
00:33:51.400 --> 00:33:58.440
become because I think if personal truth of not lying to if you start by not lying to yourself

521
00:33:58.440 --> 00:34:02.200
and then you start saying those things then you start not lying to other people and I think if you

522
00:34:02.200 --> 00:34:06.760
can decrease the friction between what you really think and what you say it starts to create some

523
00:34:06.760 --> 00:34:11.320
virtuous cycle outside of you that starts to orient your behavior so that you actually start doing

524
00:34:11.320 --> 00:34:17.880
what you really think and I have integrity but in the true sense is one of my personal kind of goals

525
00:34:19.560 --> 00:34:27.080
but it's it's jarring to people when you're just honest and like really honest like hey what do you

526
00:34:27.160 --> 00:34:34.440
do you want to go to this uh to to Sarah's birthday party no and they're like what do you mean

527
00:34:34.440 --> 00:34:40.680
you busy like no I'm not busy but I don't want to go people have a hard time just saying

528
00:34:40.680 --> 00:34:45.800
no to things and I would encourage you if you're listening to this like try saying no to try

529
00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:49.640
actually telling the truth when you don't want to do something because we say we have so many

530
00:34:49.640 --> 00:34:53.560
social niceties that we say oh I'm really busy or it's a really bad time right now whatever it's

531
00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:58.440
I had somebody the other day I was with a friend and he like I didn't notice that I did this

532
00:34:58.440 --> 00:35:02.600
so sometimes it's nice to have somebody from the outside and so somebody came up to me we were

533
00:35:02.600 --> 00:35:06.760
looking at a real estate property and someone knew I was going to be there and said that guy showed

534
00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:13.640
up unannounced or whatever and he was like hey man can we do a podcast and I was like I'm just in

535
00:35:13.640 --> 00:35:18.360
town gonna hang out with Layla for the next few days like I really trying to do that and he asked

536
00:35:18.360 --> 00:35:23.160
again and he was like hey um you're like 20 minutes let's be like we can just we can just rock

537
00:35:23.160 --> 00:35:28.760
one out and I was like well let me show you my calendar and I pulled up my calendar and it was

538
00:35:28.760 --> 00:35:33.640
all empty and I said see it's there's nothing on there and I was like and I I just want to keep it

539
00:35:33.640 --> 00:35:41.160
that way and I didn't think anything of it but apparently he left and then my friend just start

540
00:35:41.160 --> 00:35:45.960
just starts crying laughing just thinking how hilarious he's like I can't believe you said that

541
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:51.160
you that was so boss bubble and I was like what is he talking about he's like you just showed him

542
00:35:51.160 --> 00:35:55.400
your calendar that you had nothing and you were still like you're still not gonna get any of my time

543
00:35:55.400 --> 00:36:00.600
and I didn't perceive any of this extra narrative that he added to it but I think just being

544
00:36:00.600 --> 00:36:04.280
able to say notice stuff when people ask you for it because people ask you for stuff all the time

545
00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:08.200
it's these little these little nibs these little tiny things hey can you do this or hey can we

546
00:36:08.200 --> 00:36:11.960
show up to this thing or hey you're supposed to or hey your aunt did that one thing for you so

547
00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:19.800
therefore you owe her and saying like I don't subject myself to those rules and I had a

548
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:25.160
near as resolution which I do believe in making resolutions like why not if you stick with them

549
00:36:25.160 --> 00:36:32.200
and so one of my more recent ones was there are no such thing as social obligations only consequences

550
00:36:33.720 --> 00:36:37.400
so you have no social obligations you have social consequences but you don't have social

551
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:46.120
obligations and so you have to go I don't have to go if I don't go they what will happen

552
00:36:46.120 --> 00:36:50.360
as a result it decreases the likelihood they will invite me again which is great because then I

553
00:36:50.360 --> 00:36:54.920
won't have to say no again so this actually saves me time in the future and so a lot of people

554
00:36:54.920 --> 00:36:59.560
don't play out the like what happens if it's like oh more of the thing that I would prefer which

555
00:36:59.560 --> 00:37:03.720
is not getting invited to these stupid weddings or not getting invited to these you know

556
00:37:03.800 --> 00:37:07.880
crists or whatever they're called you know brith whatever I do bris whatever the thing is you

557
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:11.800
would you probably know the word of trying to do what you took yeah well kids getting circumcised

558
00:37:11.800 --> 00:37:16.760
or I think what you go watching like a viewing that's a common thing yeah is it yeah

559
00:37:16.760 --> 00:37:21.000
uh certain decisions they're I think it's about bris whatever doesn't matter all right point being

560
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:28.120
if you say no and are honest about why you said no people will be jarred but then you get this

561
00:37:28.120 --> 00:37:33.080
muscle when we're talking about that muscle of being authentic which is just saying what you really

562
00:37:33.080 --> 00:37:38.920
think and I think that when you do that you unlock a certain level of confidence in yourself we were

563
00:37:38.920 --> 00:37:43.960
like oh I didn't die oh actually what I would prefer to have happened happened as a result of that

564
00:37:43.960 --> 00:37:48.360
oh you know what it's Friday night and I am gonna get a good night sleep because I do have a

565
00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:53.160
clear day tomorrow and I'm gonna work my face off and I didn't have to go to Sarah's thing and to

566
00:37:53.160 --> 00:37:58.280
me that's like over time I think I just do more and more and more of that and it feels better and

567
00:37:58.280 --> 00:38:04.200
better and better it's funny that your friends saw that as a flex that it was and I can see why

568
00:38:04.200 --> 00:38:08.360
and I think I would oh my god dude like you totally owned him with that thing like you showed off

569
00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:13.080
the fact that you've got nothing but really if we're all being honest if we didn't want to do it

570
00:38:13.080 --> 00:38:18.280
that is the truth right the only reason that it feels like a flex is that it's such a left turn

571
00:38:18.280 --> 00:38:23.560
from the social mores that people typically go through I said this to you yesterday Dan Bilzerian

572
00:38:23.560 --> 00:38:31.000
superpower is his frictionlessness from what he wants to his mouth say what you want about Dan

573
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:35.880
but he's lived very unapologetically and that's what are the things that you can get downstream from

574
00:38:35.880 --> 00:38:40.440
that I mean maybe you don't like his values or his principles maybe you think that he's a bad guy

575
00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:43.720
or maybe you think he's worth more or less money than he actually is all of these things but what

576
00:38:43.720 --> 00:38:48.440
you can't say is that you don't trust the things that he does are not the things that he wants to do

577
00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:54.840
and that commands a level of respect that absolutely and it should command a level of respect

578
00:38:55.800 --> 00:39:01.240
I think she thinks that when you live that way people trust you more because their ability to

579
00:39:01.240 --> 00:39:07.240
predict your behavior 100 percent if I can't trust you on know how can I trust you yes

580
00:39:07.240 --> 00:39:14.520
right and I think when people see you say no and then later say yes your yes means a lot more

581
00:39:14.600 --> 00:39:19.400
of course because it's the same thing Peterson talks about that a rabbit can't be good it

582
00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:23.960
just has no choice to be otherwise you can't do the vicious I mean I actually I think that some

583
00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:30.040
rabbits are a bit like the flats so you probably can find some of the nasty if you want revenge

584
00:39:30.040 --> 00:39:35.000
for the bad things that have happened in your life start with the version of you that hasn't

585
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:44.200
lived up to your potential so I think a lot of us have the the battle of the other self that were

586
00:39:44.840 --> 00:39:50.040
the lesser version of our self that we're trying to kill every single day and so a lot of times

587
00:39:50.040 --> 00:39:56.920
we have this desire to point the blame finger externally but wherever you point the finger of blame

588
00:39:57.560 --> 00:40:03.160
power follows and so whoever I blame for the life I have is the person who I give all the power

589
00:40:03.240 --> 00:40:11.000
over my existence over my circumstances and so it hurts but if you turn the finger inwards

590
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:17.880
and you start saying huh I don't like my life the person that I need to punish or get back at

591
00:40:17.880 --> 00:40:24.680
is the real person who got me here which is me and so you may be right that other people did certain

592
00:40:24.680 --> 00:40:31.800
things or you got dealt a bad hand it also doesn't matter because the only thing that you can control

593
00:40:31.800 --> 00:40:37.160
is obviously the actions that you take and the only person who's in control of that is you and so

594
00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:51.000
the revenge porn is thinking about what the version of you who got you here did and then acting in

595
00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:57.160
the exact opposite of that as many times as you possibly can and the pain that you feel by rejecting

596
00:40:57.320 --> 00:41:01.640
the thing that you used to do that got you into this bad circumstance that's the real revenge

597
00:41:04.200 --> 00:41:10.760
it's kind of like the stoic fork the dichotomy of control but it's just taking all of that and just

598
00:41:10.760 --> 00:41:16.120
lumping it all on you yeah it's it's you know I mean this is kind of the the pushback against

599
00:41:16.120 --> 00:41:22.680
victimhood culture that externalizing the locus of control it is the fault of the politics or the

600
00:41:22.680 --> 00:41:28.760
economy or it's the state of the dollar or it's the patriarchy or it's whatever it goes hey look

601
00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:36.280
you will get a hundred ex a thousand ex your returns placing your efforts to try and change those

602
00:41:36.280 --> 00:41:43.560
things on you as opposed to on the world like you I think basically the best way to move through

603
00:41:43.560 --> 00:41:50.920
the world is to see your entire surroundings as immutable and you as mutable you're the only

604
00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:55.560
mutable thing in the entire world you're the only thing that can change everybody else people

605
00:41:55.560 --> 00:42:01.160
opinions places economy politicians policies all of that none of that's going to change

606
00:42:01.880 --> 00:42:06.680
you you can change that's it and then maybe some of the other stuff does and that'd be great

607
00:42:07.800 --> 00:42:14.280
it's a really interesting concept so do we accept the world and change ourselves

608
00:42:15.240 --> 00:42:20.840
or do we change the world and accept ourselves and so it's a really interesting

609
00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:25.080
dichotomy when you ask the question because on because both of those sound right you're like I

610
00:42:25.080 --> 00:42:30.040
should accept myself and change the world but on the other hand you're like wait no I should

611
00:42:30.040 --> 00:42:37.320
accept the world and change myself yeah and so yeah because they're both pithy pithy aphorism

612
00:42:37.560 --> 00:42:48.360
right and so I think all of a come down comes down to when you change yourself you will change

613
00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:56.600
the world because you'll change how you see it I think as well when it comes to accepting yourself

614
00:42:57.240 --> 00:43:02.520
do you want to accept you do you want to accept a version of you that you shouldn't accept

615
00:43:02.520 --> 00:43:06.760
one that you're not proud of one that doesn't live up to their word one whose thoughts actions

616
00:43:06.760 --> 00:43:13.720
and intentions aren't aligned fully well I mean I can but I don't particularly feel good about

617
00:43:13.720 --> 00:43:18.120
that that feels like the higher version of me the potential version of me that I want to live

618
00:43:18.120 --> 00:43:23.640
up to is I'm sort of derogating them that it's this isn't really the tribute to them that it should

619
00:43:23.640 --> 00:43:28.440
be and yeah that's why the self-acceptance movement that's why people feel lucky about it

620
00:43:28.440 --> 00:43:32.040
people feel lucky about the self-acceptance movement because they know that people are accepting

621
00:43:32.040 --> 00:43:36.200
a version of themselves which is falling short from what it could be I would say that they're

622
00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:43.320
not accepting themselves in saying that they accept themselves so if I say is there a version

623
00:43:43.320 --> 00:43:49.080
of yourself that's better than you are right now and the most people hopefully would say yes

624
00:43:49.800 --> 00:43:56.440
it's like great accept that person and I think that to me when we talk about the authenticity

625
00:43:57.080 --> 00:44:02.920
accepting yourself is accepting the ideal that we can live up to and that's that is what we accept

626
00:44:02.920 --> 00:44:08.680
not the shitty version of that that we are today and I think that marries both sides of the argument

627
00:44:09.960 --> 00:44:17.080
Jimmy Cobb broke my brain with this one everyone is jealous of what you've got no one is jealous

628
00:44:17.080 --> 00:44:25.400
of how you got it I love that quote my god people see the trophies but not the training ground

629
00:44:25.400 --> 00:44:32.040
everybody wants the view but no one wants the climb I love it but

630
00:44:34.600 --> 00:44:42.040
the people who win love the climb and the real mountain has no peak and so

631
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:49.320
the view is always present the whole way up the climb it seems to me to push back there it seems

632
00:44:49.320 --> 00:44:55.400
to me like a lot of the time your head down the pleasure comes from the climb not the view

633
00:44:55.400 --> 00:45:03.160
sure for you again maybe sort of non typically constructed from a psychological perspective

634
00:45:03.800 --> 00:45:10.680
so that was nice that was diplomatic so what would you say and this is something that I think

635
00:45:11.240 --> 00:45:17.880
you know with these episodes that we do I often want to try and get you to push a little bit more

636
00:45:18.040 --> 00:45:24.760
to adapt your ideas and your insights for people who maybe do have a little bit more of that

637
00:45:24.760 --> 00:45:28.680
emotionality that comes through to try and sort of soften this up look I understand that people

638
00:45:28.680 --> 00:45:33.880
need more degrees of freedom than me typically I understand that people probably can't get themselves

639
00:45:33.880 --> 00:45:39.720
to the level of work that I can so do you ever sort of play with that idea of okay what does

640
00:45:39.720 --> 00:45:43.800
a little bit of view taking in look like whilst we're climbing

641
00:45:48.520 --> 00:45:54.120
I think a lot of the discontent comes from the judgment people have about what they should

642
00:45:54.120 --> 00:46:02.600
or should not do along the way and so they take my description as prescription for what they

643
00:46:02.600 --> 00:46:06.920
should do so I describe my life and then people think I'm prescribing what they should do and it

644
00:46:06.920 --> 00:46:11.960
couldn't be further from the truth if you want to take a break at every two steps and take in the

645
00:46:11.960 --> 00:46:20.280
view do it I mean in four generations no one will remove your name and so enjoy the view if you

646
00:46:20.280 --> 00:46:28.680
feel like it I just happen to enjoy how much I can see that I can do that's what I enjoy and I

647
00:46:28.680 --> 00:46:35.800
feel like I am most present when I work and so I'm not going to go on to work life balance whatever

648
00:46:35.880 --> 00:46:41.800
because we already know where that conversation goes but people have a harder time accepting

649
00:46:41.800 --> 00:46:50.520
that someone can just work all the time and and truly love it and I define that by there's

650
00:46:50.520 --> 00:46:56.920
nothing else I would rather do at any time and so for me I feel like I exercise absolute freedom

651
00:46:56.920 --> 00:47:06.120
in my life and freedom is reinforcing for all species dogs cows fish humans freedom is one of

652
00:47:06.120 --> 00:47:10.840
the most positively reinforcing thing that people have that everyone wants freedom everybody wants

653
00:47:10.840 --> 00:47:14.920
to be able to say fucking right but once you say fuck you you have to do something because you can't

654
00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:17.800
just stay at stand there and say fuck you over and over again for hours for the rest of your life

655
00:47:17.800 --> 00:47:22.280
you start to do something and that thing that you choose to do after you do after you say fuck you

656
00:47:23.080 --> 00:47:29.400
is what you want to do that's an interesting point so there are certain things that you have

657
00:47:29.400 --> 00:47:33.320
to do to get to the point where you don't have to do things you don't want to do and then when

658
00:47:33.320 --> 00:47:39.000
you're liberated there is a whole new challenge now because it's a completely blank map where you

659
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:43.640
have to actually define that that's one of the things you know about working for yourself there's

660
00:47:44.680 --> 00:47:49.240
a lot of derogation about nine to five and university education and kind of the typical track and

661
00:47:49.240 --> 00:47:56.680
stuff like bro you should be very cautious about criticizing people that have more normal

662
00:47:56.680 --> 00:48:02.360
salaried nine to five jobs because I look at most of my friends and they can't not take their work

663
00:48:02.360 --> 00:48:08.600
home with them so for certain psychological makeups who's more free the person that actually gets

664
00:48:08.600 --> 00:48:13.640
to shut their work laptop at 5pm in France they've got this new policy now where you can't

665
00:48:14.280 --> 00:48:20.040
email staff after I think it's maybe 5pm or 6pm at night in certain businesses to try and sort

666
00:48:20.040 --> 00:48:25.400
of enforce this work life balance and stuff like that so for certain you're shaking your head

667
00:48:25.400 --> 00:48:30.840
what's your what's your problem I mean my first thought was well France just took the it's a

668
00:48:30.840 --> 00:48:37.880
relevant economy and just made it and and secondarily the person who made that role is somebody

669
00:48:37.880 --> 00:48:43.160
fundamentally doesn't understand human behavior so if they were to pass that role for me then what

670
00:48:43.160 --> 00:48:48.680
they did is they actually made my life worse this was the thing when Elon took over Twitter so it's

671
00:48:48.680 --> 00:48:55.480
one of my favorite stories over the last couple of years Elon buys Twitter Elon finds out that

672
00:48:57.720 --> 00:49:06.280
80% of the staff base just drinks movies and go on hot girl walks all day and he fires them

673
00:49:07.080 --> 00:49:13.480
and says this team is him and a bunch of aging dudes selfie and he says this is the team that's

674
00:49:13.480 --> 00:49:18.600
gonna run Twitter now and he put a I think a job posting out maybe on Twitter and he says I want

675
00:49:18.600 --> 00:49:21.880
people who want to work harder than they ever have on the most difficult problems in the world and

676
00:49:21.880 --> 00:49:28.440
blah blah blah blah and he got tons of shit for it and they said this is a regressive policy for

677
00:49:28.440 --> 00:49:33.480
industry this is taking people back to sending kids up to chimneys and so on and so forth and it's

678
00:49:33.480 --> 00:49:39.880
just a complete failure of theory of mind that there are people out there for whom that is the job

679
00:49:39.880 --> 00:49:45.720
advert I want to work harder than I ever have on the most difficult problems in the world at an

680
00:49:45.720 --> 00:49:52.920
intensity that would kill most people because that's where I derive pleasure and satisfaction from

681
00:49:52.920 --> 00:49:58.360
that's the best situation that I could hope for and trying to take your model of well yeah but what

682
00:49:58.440 --> 00:50:03.000
about my maternity leave and yeah but what about you know jeans Fridays and yeah but what about

683
00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:09.080
you know hot girl walks all of that is that those are things that people don't want adding those in

684
00:50:09.080 --> 00:50:19.800
gets in the way of the thing that they do want I think a lot of the confusion around the people who

685
00:50:19.800 --> 00:50:27.720
are wanting to work harder than they are or don't like that I work harder that you work hard think

686
00:50:27.720 --> 00:50:34.600
that they take this statement as a judgment or criticism on how they live their life and it's

687
00:50:34.600 --> 00:50:38.440
because on the other side of that free line you're like okay I'm not free I have a blank slate

688
00:50:39.240 --> 00:50:45.640
if I do something or you do something that they deem painful for them now or something that they

689
00:50:45.640 --> 00:50:52.840
don't enjoy they then say you are suffering and that is bad and both of those things are

690
00:50:52.920 --> 00:50:57.400
rejectal heartedly first you don't know that I'm suffering because you have no idea what's going

691
00:50:57.400 --> 00:51:06.360
on inside of me comment and also what is your judgment mean at all to me there's a Tim Cook

692
00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:12.440
internal memo that he sent there's a saying that if you do what you love you will never work a

693
00:51:12.440 --> 00:51:18.680
day in your life at Apple I learned that is a total crock you'll work harder than you ever thought

694
00:51:18.760 --> 00:51:24.360
possible but the tools will feel light in your hands so good

695
00:51:33.560 --> 00:51:42.920
feel like you crushed that one I have a friend who worked for a very high level recruitment

696
00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:47.400
company see sweet execs for the biggest companies on the planet I don't know whether it was

697
00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:52.520
some internal intranet thing or whether they actually saw these people or they maybe pull

698
00:51:52.520 --> 00:51:58.920
candidates with other companies but he was able to see the breakdown interviews with some of

699
00:51:58.920 --> 00:52:09.000
the best CEOs in the world so he was able to see the summary of Tim Cook and Susano was Juki the

700
00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:16.120
lady and apparently the first line so these guys are seeing everybody the best on the planet right

701
00:52:16.120 --> 00:52:21.320
and I was like okay so just explain to me the interpretation difference between the guys that

702
00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:30.440
are already AAA and then Tim Cook and he said the first line of Tim Cook summary just said

703
00:52:31.240 --> 00:52:38.040
rock star that was the first thing all it said was rock star and he realized that in a pool of

704
00:52:38.040 --> 00:52:44.680
the best executives on the planet people like Tim and people like Susano still a heads and shoulders

705
00:52:44.680 --> 00:52:50.840
above the rest I just thought that was so cool to like see these people in the nascent stage before

706
00:52:50.840 --> 00:52:55.320
they've got the thing that they're going to really magnify they'd all the attributes they didn't

707
00:52:55.320 --> 00:52:59.640
have the proof yet yeah they didn't have the playground they didn't have the petri dish to be able

708
00:52:59.640 --> 00:53:05.320
to show just how much they can multiply it do which I think about that a lot when it comes to kind

709
00:53:05.320 --> 00:53:11.960
of like potential energy versus reality for people on their way up and so there's this huge time

710
00:53:11.960 --> 00:53:17.160
delay between when we start behaving in a way that a winner behaves and when we start winning

711
00:53:17.960 --> 00:53:23.800
and the problem is that the bigger the mountain you're trying to climb the bigger the W you're trying

712
00:53:23.800 --> 00:53:29.560
to get typically the more delayed it is the lag yeah between when you start behaving like a winner

713
00:53:29.560 --> 00:53:36.200
and when you start being a winner and most people don't get the fast enough feedback loop to know

714
00:53:36.200 --> 00:53:40.840
that they're on the right path when they are taking these first steps in the right direction

715
00:53:41.400 --> 00:53:47.400
because they have this really big goal but they forget that with that really big goal comes the

716
00:53:47.400 --> 00:53:55.080
even longer delay that it takes to get there while still continuing to act with no feedback from

717
00:53:55.400 --> 00:54:01.560
system positive reinforcement whatsoever and I think that's like if I actually had to put a real

718
00:54:01.560 --> 00:54:07.960
like what's what's been what has worked so well for me and why the input over the output focus has

719
00:54:07.960 --> 00:54:14.200
been so powerful is that I can extend the time rise and basically indefinitely because the goal is

720
00:54:14.200 --> 00:54:19.480
me and then the external goals occur you don't need the positive reinforcement I mean everybody's

721
00:54:19.480 --> 00:54:23.480
seen I know I need the positive reinforcement but the positive reinforcement is coming from me

722
00:54:23.960 --> 00:54:27.640
I'm just being like just because I think it's important the positive external reinforcement

723
00:54:27.640 --> 00:54:32.760
that most people are looking for right but if you if you are the goal then the actions you take

724
00:54:32.760 --> 00:54:36.760
every day are reinforcing who you believe yourself to be that's where the confidence comes from

725
00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:41.080
as long as that directionally correct and if you just want to be satisfied then just work your ass off

726
00:54:43.240 --> 00:54:49.000
yeah I mean everybody's seen one of those exponential graphs and I I'm one of my good friends

727
00:54:49.000 --> 00:54:55.880
George bought me ad professor um he's great he's fucking fantastic yeah I've found I'll tell you

728
00:54:55.880 --> 00:55:02.520
once we're like fucking one let me say but he's just got the most insane client like one of the coolest

729
00:55:02.520 --> 00:55:13.400
companies on the planet um he bought me for a gift last year it's uh the one million subscriber

730
00:55:13.400 --> 00:55:21.640
announcement post I did it's the first ever test footage episode I did in 2017 and in the middle

731
00:55:21.640 --> 00:55:30.120
is the play graph that goes between the two and you look and it is up until a year at the time

732
00:55:30.120 --> 00:55:34.680
up until like a year before it's flat there's nothing there was days I remember looking back there

733
00:55:34.680 --> 00:55:43.240
was days when we were doing this show in March April and May of 2018 where we did zero plays we'd

734
00:55:43.240 --> 00:55:47.960
already launched I was releasing an episode a week and there was things where we did no plays and

735
00:55:47.960 --> 00:55:51.800
I released an episode and we did no plays I went back through and looked I don't think I even told

736
00:55:51.800 --> 00:55:57.560
you this I messaged every single one of the thousand contacts in my phone that I'd accumulated

737
00:55:57.560 --> 00:56:03.000
from nightlife promo on WhatsApp saying hi I've just launched a podcast would you mind subscribing to

738
00:56:03.000 --> 00:56:08.280
me yeah a thousand different people bunched into 50 person broadcast lists because that was the

739
00:56:08.280 --> 00:56:14.680
maximum broadcast list you used to be able to do and I was the most ground floor door to door sales

740
00:56:14.680 --> 00:56:20.120
to try and accumulate an audience and it just keeps happening there's no presuming that you keep

741
00:56:20.120 --> 00:56:27.400
on going exponentially it makes every previous version poultry and uh yeah being able to continue

742
00:56:28.200 --> 00:56:34.280
doing something without seeing the results of your work is one of the best competitive advantages

743
00:56:34.280 --> 00:56:40.760
because everybody else is feeling the same discomfort that you are everybody else is going I don't

744
00:56:40.760 --> 00:56:44.600
know if this is going to work and this is hard and why is no one telling me that I'm doing a good

745
00:56:44.600 --> 00:56:53.000
job and fuck another day with no plays that's stupid and then you end up looking at the top

746
00:56:53.960 --> 00:57:03.480
100 podcasts in the world I think account for 80% of the global plays 100 shows out of about 4

747
00:57:03.480 --> 00:57:16.920
million account for 80% of the plays which means there's what 399,900 that has got the entire

748
00:57:16.920 --> 00:57:23.720
rest of it that's 20% for those that's it leading indicator of a successful person is the

749
00:57:23.720 --> 00:57:31.240
ability to act without anything happening and when you continue down that path it happens

750
00:57:31.240 --> 00:57:36.280
slower than you expect and then faster than you can imagine and I think that's the part that

751
00:57:36.280 --> 00:57:39.640
everyone misses is they expect the faster than they can imagine and they imagine really big

752
00:57:39.640 --> 00:57:44.840
and so then their expectations are really big really fast but they they take the intensity

753
00:57:44.920 --> 00:57:50.440
and they don't apply it to a timeline that's appropriate this is from Mark Manson why I hate being

754
00:57:50.440 --> 00:57:56.440
around negative people being an asshole is a weak person's idea of strength complaining is

755
00:57:56.440 --> 00:58:01.240
their connection never let yourself be held back by other people's fears people criticize what

756
00:58:01.240 --> 00:58:07.000
they were afraid to do themselves because bold action reminds them of their own inaction if you're

757
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:12.200
afraid to be criticized why do you care about the opinions of those who are too timid to do it

758
00:58:12.200 --> 00:58:18.360
themselves if you are the criticizer does tearing down someone who has the courage you lack make you

759
00:58:18.360 --> 00:58:21.000
better

760
00:58:27.800 --> 00:58:32.040
yeah people criticize because it helps them justify the risks they chose not to take

761
00:58:34.760 --> 00:58:38.040
in the hopes that it'll dissuade you from doing it so that you can be in the exact same

762
00:58:38.040 --> 00:58:42.120
position as them which then justifies that they made the right call this happened when I

763
00:58:42.120 --> 00:58:49.480
stopped drinking you know it was now going low and no one alcohols kind of invoked and super

764
00:58:49.480 --> 00:58:56.760
duper common but as a club promoter in whatever 2015 2016 that was pretty rare and I think a lot

765
00:58:56.760 --> 00:59:04.200
of the pushback that I got from the people around me some of the people around me was your

766
00:59:04.200 --> 00:59:09.800
behavior is throwing my behavior into sharp contrast and you know this is the lonely chapter

767
00:59:09.800 --> 00:59:14.600
right this is why the movement away from your existing friend group this is neo you've already

768
00:59:14.600 --> 00:59:18.920
been down that road you know where it leads you know you don't want to go that it's all of those things

769
00:59:18.920 --> 00:59:30.520
but because at least for me I always have such inherent uncertainty of my own opinions

770
00:59:31.560 --> 00:59:36.760
and such a sense that everybody else is balanced and actually knows what they're doing

771
00:59:37.560 --> 00:59:43.240
that I give undue weight to the criticisms of others oh maybe they are right maybe it is stupid

772
00:59:43.240 --> 00:59:48.520
for me to stop drinking maybe this does make me boring maybe it is pointless for me to do like who

773
00:59:48.520 --> 00:59:54.040
even knows if meditation works fuck some Harris right like you know all of these doubts that start

774
00:59:54.040 --> 00:59:59.640
to creep in and that like we were saying before this is the discomfort that everybody feels whether

775
00:59:59.640 --> 01:00:03.800
you're launching a business or doing personal development or doing all the rest of it and as

776
01:00:03.800 --> 01:00:09.560
opposed to thinking about it as a bug think about it as a feature and as opposed to thinking about

777
01:00:09.560 --> 01:00:21.400
it as something that's a personal curse that's difficult think about it as the selection criteria

778
01:00:21.400 --> 01:00:27.160
that everybody has to get over that's the reason why so few people are quite a mess and actually

779
01:00:27.160 --> 01:00:31.400
have peace in their mind because meditation is hard and everyone thinks am I doing it right

780
01:00:31.400 --> 01:00:36.520
this kind of sucks and I'm twitchy and I'm tired today why so few people in shape because going

781
01:00:36.520 --> 01:00:40.840
to the gym in second to the gym is difficult maybe it's a tiny bit easier for some people that

782
01:00:40.840 --> 01:00:47.400
like it than others but for most people most of the time it's really really hard thinking about

783
01:00:47.400 --> 01:00:51.000
the challenges that you need to face it's just a selection criteria the cost of doing business

784
01:00:51.640 --> 01:00:54.920
right this is just the cost of doing business and I need to pay it

785
01:00:55.080 --> 01:01:09.720
it's really the information or the intensity that makes things hard it's the sticking with it

786
01:01:09.720 --> 01:01:19.480
that makes it hard and so the desire that we have to quit is simply breaking the consistency

787
01:01:20.120 --> 01:01:23.880
and so that's why consistency's always been the hardest thing for most people to achieve

788
01:01:23.880 --> 01:01:27.880
but the intensity what you have to do to be successful is much lower than most people expect

789
01:01:28.360 --> 01:01:33.240
and so oftentimes they suffer significantly more in a short period of time than is required to be

790
01:01:33.240 --> 01:01:38.360
successful over a much longer period of time with a much lower intensity and so it's just like if

791
01:01:38.360 --> 01:01:43.480
you walk for five minutes a day you're gonna get you know 50% of the health benefits probably more

792
01:01:43.480 --> 01:01:48.520
than that I'm sure of just even exercising you add 10 years your life if you walked five or 10

793
01:01:48.520 --> 01:02:00.600
minutes a day um and the path of personal development is befriending uncertainty and so I

794
01:02:00.600 --> 01:02:05.400
obviously sit from the entrepreneurial perspective but almost all decisions that you make in the

795
01:02:05.400 --> 01:02:10.040
beginning you have incomplete data and you have to make decisions anyways and so it's

796
01:02:10.040 --> 01:02:15.320
growing comfortable with taking your best bad guess and being directionally correct rather than

797
01:02:15.320 --> 01:02:20.760
searching for a perfect answer because a perfect answer assumes perfect information which you

798
01:02:20.760 --> 01:02:28.760
could only have after you begin and so in some ways making a decision is the perfect answer so that

799
01:02:28.760 --> 01:02:33.800
you can get the information to then improve the quality of the decision later and I think that one

800
01:02:33.800 --> 01:02:40.120
loop is what a lot of people miss out on is they spend they obsess for years sometimes on the perfect

801
01:02:40.200 --> 01:02:46.680
pick the perfect business the perfect job the perfect mate when most of the times beginning

802
01:02:47.400 --> 01:02:53.480
each step illuminates the next step which means the information the feedback that you get from walking

803
01:02:53.480 --> 01:02:58.760
gives you more about where to walk than trying to sit at the beginning in the darkness and

804
01:02:58.760 --> 01:03:04.520
pick a direction lights the difference as well I think between people who are super advanced super

805
01:03:04.520 --> 01:03:08.360
developed super far down the line in people who are beginning like dude what have you got to what

806
01:03:08.360 --> 01:03:15.640
are you risking by trying to do this thing you for you it's fine for you to spend 18 months

807
01:03:15.640 --> 01:03:22.680
negotiating with Sam on the school deal but if you are yet to do any business that's probably

808
01:03:22.680 --> 01:03:28.920
not necessarily the right way to go about things Tim Ferris says in the short term your success

809
01:03:28.920 --> 01:03:35.160
depends on your intensity in the long term your success depends on your consistency do not sacrifice

810
01:03:35.160 --> 01:03:42.440
the latter for the former hmm what's wild about the fear that people have when they're starting out

811
01:03:42.440 --> 01:03:49.240
is that they say things like I have nothing going for me I have no advantages I have nothing to my name

812
01:03:49.240 --> 01:03:54.680
I have no money I have no network I have no resources but using Rory Sutherland's reframing

813
01:03:55.320 --> 01:04:01.560
it also means that you have nothing to lose which makes you incredibly dangerous and I think people

814
01:04:01.640 --> 01:04:06.840
wildly underestimate how many shots on goal you can take when you have nothing to lose

815
01:04:06.840 --> 01:04:10.040
whereas when someone has something to lose they have to be more and more selected about the shots

816
01:04:10.040 --> 01:04:16.520
they take and so you have the perfect conditions for taking risk because the worst case scenario is

817
01:04:16.520 --> 01:04:21.960
baseline is where you're currently at correct yeah and so that means downside is this which means

818
01:04:21.960 --> 01:04:27.400
that it's like going to the casino and playing craps but they say that you can just keep playing

819
01:04:27.400 --> 01:04:36.120
until you win but people are afraid to roll reminder for anyone internally debating weekend plans

820
01:04:36.120 --> 01:04:42.120
if you don't want to go don't go if they care whether you go or not they don't care about you

821
01:04:42.120 --> 01:04:47.720
and if they care about you they don't care if you go or not just because you have free time

822
01:04:47.800 --> 01:04:50.680
doesn't mean anyone who asks for it is entitled to it

823
01:04:55.960 --> 01:05:02.200
I think the for the second part I want to start with which is if you see that you have an empty

824
01:05:02.200 --> 01:05:08.760
calendar most people assume that if someone asks you for that time it's therefore theirs

825
01:05:09.240 --> 01:05:19.800
and it's only not theirs when someone else has claimed it which means that your time only

826
01:05:19.800 --> 01:05:26.520
belongs to other people and then you're surprised by the fact that your investment of time has yielded

827
01:05:26.520 --> 01:05:32.120
nothing for you when you've given the only and most valuable asset that you have to everyone else

828
01:05:32.120 --> 01:05:39.400
who often give a very poor return on it for you and so in the beginning if you don't have money

829
01:05:39.400 --> 01:05:44.440
the only thing you have is time and so that is the only thing that you it's the only currency you

830
01:05:44.440 --> 01:05:49.240
can spend to improve yourself or get close to your goals and so if that's the one currency you have

831
01:05:49.880 --> 01:05:59.320
then why on earth would you give it away I think it's genuinely right to say that your calendar is

832
01:05:59.320 --> 01:06:04.040
a better measure of your wealth than your bank account it's also the easiest way to know where

833
01:06:04.040 --> 01:06:09.800
someone's going to be in five years or even a year also you just see what they're where they're

834
01:06:09.800 --> 01:06:15.000
investing their time and you can predict like more accurately what their life is going to look

835
01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:19.480
like in a year based on what they're doing today and it's a good thing you know for us from it's

836
01:06:19.480 --> 01:06:25.160
hard for me not to put the business stuff into it but a reminder that the life that I'm living

837
01:06:25.160 --> 01:06:29.800
today is a result of the work that I did six and 12 months ago and so if you're to look at my

838
01:06:29.800 --> 01:06:34.440
calendar six and 12 months ago then you might extrapolate out to what I'm doing today but just like

839
01:06:34.440 --> 01:06:40.360
people want the immediate reward they also see their current condition as a result of the behavior

840
01:06:40.360 --> 01:06:47.160
they're doing today it's not it all and so that's why I think having in some ways a very vivid

841
01:06:47.160 --> 01:06:53.160
imagination of like this is where I think the the benefit of quote visualization comes into play

842
01:06:53.160 --> 01:06:56.600
I don't see it as much as a benefit for like oh I have to imagine this thing to happen

843
01:06:56.600 --> 01:07:01.720
but I think it's more powerful to think I'm doing this thing today and I'm imagining it happening

844
01:07:01.720 --> 01:07:06.360
so it's an approximation of the feedback loop that you want to have and so it helps you substitute

845
01:07:06.360 --> 01:07:13.000
and get through the period where nothing's actually happening this is it's so cool to learn this

846
01:07:14.600 --> 01:07:22.200
going to the gym is one of the very few pursuits that you can do where in the act of doing the thing

847
01:07:22.200 --> 01:07:28.280
you get a brief window into what it will be like if you continue to do the thing yeah if I

848
01:07:28.280 --> 01:07:35.720
go on do a lingo and try to learn Spanish I don't briefly become much better at Spanish like where

849
01:07:35.720 --> 01:07:41.880
I'm going to be at in six months or 12 months time but if I go to the gym and get a pump on I go

850
01:07:41.880 --> 01:07:48.920
hey that's me hopefully flat in nine months time like how I look now at the end of the session

851
01:07:48.920 --> 01:07:54.440
is where I want to be toward the end of this year and that reinforcement loop is so good I think

852
01:07:54.440 --> 01:08:01.240
I genuinely think no one's spoken about this the pump review yeah but like that I think is the

853
01:08:01.240 --> 01:08:05.160
feedback mechanism that makes the gym so compelling it's one of the reasons why it makes the gym so

854
01:08:05.160 --> 01:08:09.560
compelling you get this brief window into a future version of you and you go fucking dude I look

855
01:08:09.560 --> 01:08:13.880
so I'm adults like fucking awesome I can't wait for that to be how I look when I wake up on

856
01:08:13.880 --> 01:08:18.520
a morning and you go okay that's how I'm gonna get that and that's why it's such a it's so

857
01:08:19.160 --> 01:08:22.840
gratifying right it works in the moment and it works over the long term

858
01:08:25.720 --> 01:08:30.760
so one of my closest friends or my closest friend Dr. Kashi and I talk about this

859
01:08:32.600 --> 01:08:37.000
but the difference between experts and beginners is that experts have more ways to reward

860
01:08:37.000 --> 01:08:43.560
themselves in a given condition and so if you think about an expert salesman there are so many

861
01:08:43.560 --> 01:08:48.200
interactions they can have that they are good at that they can find rewarding and positively

862
01:08:48.200 --> 01:08:55.000
reinforcing and so the goal is to develop enough skill that your external environment conditions

863
01:08:55.000 --> 01:09:02.520
can deliver enough positive feedback that it can become self-sustaining give me a tangible example

864
01:09:02.520 --> 01:09:06.760
so if you're an editor and you edit videos for a living in the beginning you

865
01:09:07.800 --> 01:09:12.360
have to you know you watch a video and then you try the thing and if it doesn't work there's no

866
01:09:12.360 --> 01:09:16.760
there's no I mean there is a feedback loop it's null and then you go back you try it again and then

867
01:09:16.760 --> 01:09:21.240
you do get a positive feedback oh I made that transition happen I made that color grading occur

868
01:09:21.240 --> 01:09:29.000
whatever I'm talking about you get the idea there are some roles like sales and editing where there's

869
01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:33.320
a lot of people who are music or people become passionate because there's enough fast feedback

870
01:09:33.320 --> 01:09:38.840
loops in the beginning where they can try something and then get good a master musician can pick up

871
01:09:38.840 --> 01:09:45.000
any instrument and have positive feedback loops everywhere and so the more you master any skill

872
01:09:45.720 --> 01:09:53.320
the more ways you can win and so it allowed and that's ultimately what makes the rich get richer

873
01:09:53.320 --> 01:09:57.720
is that because everything is so positive reinforcing because they start to develop skills

874
01:09:57.720 --> 01:10:02.200
then they do more and more of it and as they do more of it the rich get richer the better get better

875
01:10:02.200 --> 01:10:06.120
the better become best and then everyone who's starting out is like how on God's Earth is this guy

876
01:10:06.120 --> 01:10:13.640
have this work ethic but it's really that he has high levels of skill and all right I'm gonna go

877
01:10:13.640 --> 01:10:19.880
on a tensioner but I think it's gonna be worth it so I think about everything in terms of skills

878
01:10:20.760 --> 01:10:26.920
and I have more or less divorced myself from the words like feelings psychology

879
01:10:28.440 --> 01:10:33.320
intuition whatever I've just I've just taken it out of my vocabulary and simple character traits

880
01:10:34.440 --> 01:10:44.120
and try to focus ruthlessly on what are the actions that I can take to become patient and if you

881
01:10:44.120 --> 01:10:48.680
say hey be patient what does someone do right they have to figure out what to do in the meantime

882
01:10:48.680 --> 01:10:54.120
that's the definition of patience if you say hey be more charismatic the problem with that

883
01:10:54.120 --> 01:11:02.360
directive is that it's a bundled term and so I say charismatic but it what it really means is

884
01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:07.400
12 skills underneath of it that means that when you walk into a room stand up straight when you

885
01:11:07.400 --> 01:11:13.480
walk into a room look everyone in the eyes when you walk into room announce yourself speak louder

886
01:11:13.480 --> 01:11:17.720
shake people's hands and look at them while they're talking when someone talks

887
01:11:17.720 --> 01:11:23.880
nod your head if you do all of these 12 behaviors or 15 behaviors people begin to describe you as

888
01:11:23.880 --> 01:11:34.280
charismatic and in the path of personal development we want to become more of these things

889
01:11:35.320 --> 01:11:40.760
but we haven't chunked down the bundled term into the series of behaviors that create the

890
01:11:40.760 --> 01:11:47.240
description that people will then call us later and I think by breaking things down then it's

891
01:11:47.240 --> 01:11:53.960
not like oh I'm just not that insert character trait it's really oh I have not mastered these 12

892
01:11:53.960 --> 01:12:01.000
skills and so by doing that it demystifies much more precise exactly this is from a business

893
01:12:01.000 --> 01:12:05.720
perspective also really good for training employees so like for example on our team I was like Caleb

894
01:12:05.720 --> 01:12:10.120
was the first person who did video with me that I ever enjoyed and so I was like why and then

895
01:12:10.120 --> 01:12:14.200
somebody else came in and I was like I'm not having as much fun in these sessions and I'd like to

896
01:12:14.200 --> 01:12:19.800
recreate the conditions of success and so how can I make it so that I operationalize fun exactly

897
01:12:19.800 --> 01:12:26.360
and the most Alex Hallmosey thing I've ever heard hey guys let's operationalize fun for a moment

898
01:12:26.360 --> 01:12:31.080
and so we had to but then this is the part that everyone misses is that you then have to look with

899
01:12:31.080 --> 01:12:35.320
a microscope and say what are all the little things that Caleb does that other ones other people

900
01:12:35.320 --> 01:12:39.880
don't do and so it turned out when he was behind the camera he would be nodding his head and if I

901
01:12:39.880 --> 01:12:45.080
said a banger line he would he would stick a thumb out and so I'd get these many positive reinforcement

902
01:12:45.080 --> 01:12:49.000
loops while I was recording and then as soon as I was done he would come over and be like dude that

903
01:12:49.000 --> 01:12:53.640
was fire and then he would take out his phone and have all of these really interesting files because

904
01:12:53.640 --> 01:12:59.000
I could see that he was actively listening and he had thoughts and so then when we retrain the

905
01:12:59.000 --> 01:13:03.960
team we said hey when Alex is is talking nod your head slowly so he sees that you're actively

906
01:13:03.960 --> 01:13:09.000
listening if he says something cool do one of these give him a thumbs up and then all of a sudden

907
01:13:09.000 --> 01:13:13.080
my recording sessions without Caleb became as good as my recording sessions with Caleb and we

908
01:13:13.080 --> 01:13:19.320
operationalized Calebism right and so I could say I just need you to be more like Caleb but that's

909
01:13:19.320 --> 01:13:24.280
not helpful to somebody but if I said I need you to do all these things then I can operationalize that

910
01:13:24.280 --> 01:13:28.520
the reason I'm hitting on this so hard is because this has been such a core change in how I see

911
01:13:28.520 --> 01:13:34.520
the world and it has been so useful in terms of making bending reality to what I would like it to

912
01:13:34.520 --> 01:13:38.680
be because there's this huge disconnect between what people want how they describe what they want

913
01:13:38.680 --> 01:13:49.640
and what it takes for that to occur and by by being able to look with detail about the character

914
01:13:49.640 --> 01:13:55.160
traits or the things that people who are better than you at a certain thing do you can then

915
01:13:55.800 --> 01:14:01.640
stopping like man people think I'm a dick it's like well if someone says stopping a dick not helpful

916
01:14:01.640 --> 01:14:07.080
I mean good to know that whatever I'm doing is not working but doesn't give me any active directions

917
01:14:07.080 --> 01:14:13.000
and so we just try to break down adiquisers.com but in general and for myself what are all what is

918
01:14:13.000 --> 01:14:18.440
the 18 things that I have to do and oftentimes it's significantly more things but they're also

919
01:14:18.440 --> 01:14:22.760
much easier than you think if I just said I need you to nod your head while you're going on camera

920
01:14:22.760 --> 01:14:26.760
it's not that complicated to understand and so when you break it down that way all of a sudden

921
01:14:26.760 --> 01:14:31.560
it becomes you wrap your arms around it and you're like oh so this is what it takes in order for

922
01:14:31.560 --> 01:14:35.080
me to be an exceptional videographer this is what it takes for me to be an exceptional

923
01:14:35.080 --> 01:14:41.240
podcaster I'm sure and we call it like as I love living by checklists but right now if you order

924
01:14:41.240 --> 01:14:46.760
if I were to say hey what makes a good podcast you'd be like probably about 128 things or more right

925
01:14:47.080 --> 01:14:53.240
but everyone on the outside says you're just so you're so natural on camera you ask such thought

926
01:14:53.240 --> 01:14:58.280
provoking questions like man you just get the best guests right and you're like sure

927
01:14:59.960 --> 01:15:03.960
and so this is but the thing is is I think this is the mysticism this is the unknown that the

928
01:15:03.960 --> 01:15:09.240
beginners or the people are at the very beginning of their path don't understand is that there is

929
01:15:09.240 --> 01:15:14.840
no magic there is no mysticism there is no spirituality around this everything comes down to

930
01:15:14.920 --> 01:15:21.640
behavior and just and by doing that you can take out all of the the hullabaloo all of the the

931
01:15:21.640 --> 01:15:28.440
voodoo that unfortunately is so prevalent on social media and so when you hear the the podcast clips

932
01:15:28.440 --> 01:15:33.000
and whatever of people saying you just need to be more this if they haven't described it by a

933
01:15:33.000 --> 01:15:38.680
behavior it is useless and so this has allowed me to also separate signal from noise when I'm

934
01:15:38.680 --> 01:15:44.840
consuming content in general or if I want to learn something I'm immediately thinking well what

935
01:15:44.840 --> 01:15:49.800
does this mean that I have to do and if someone can't break it down into the behaviors then they

936
01:15:49.800 --> 01:15:56.440
don't know either and they may be very good at the thing but they may be very bad at teaching it

937
01:15:56.440 --> 01:16:00.920
and being able to separate those two skills because those are skills too being able to transfer

938
01:16:00.920 --> 01:16:07.640
skill is a skill will allow you to audit who you're listening to so that you can get the highest

939
01:16:07.800 --> 01:16:12.760
return on your effort because then you know that you're doing activities that lead to the outcome

940
01:16:12.760 --> 01:16:16.760
that you want we'll get back to talking to Alex in one minute but first I need to tell you about

941
01:16:16.760 --> 01:16:22.360
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942
01:16:22.360 --> 01:16:28.120
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943
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944
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945
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946
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947
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948
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949
01:16:57.000 --> 01:17:02.120
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950
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952
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no matter what stage you're in we have this big nebulous term of anything that's called it

953
01:17:17.640 --> 01:17:21.640
confidence and then there's these component parts that confidence is made up of and only by

954
01:17:21.640 --> 01:17:27.160
defining those can you actually bring it closer to you yeah I think in terms of getting people

955
01:17:27.160 --> 01:17:32.200
past the paralysis of be confident like what the fuck does that even mean where do I start what

956
01:17:32.200 --> 01:17:37.720
are the component parts of confidence and yeah I you know breaking down any big thing into

957
01:17:37.720 --> 01:17:44.040
small manageable steps is kind of the key to achieving large goals breaking down nebulous

958
01:17:44.040 --> 01:17:53.080
concepts into high resolution very tangible very obvious individual skills I really like that

959
01:17:53.240 --> 01:18:03.800
really like that I think it may be the single source of singles tough one of the largest correlates

960
01:18:03.800 --> 01:18:09.720
to what has worked for me in my life because a lot of this obsession around this and you probably

961
01:18:09.720 --> 01:18:17.000
know more about it off camera than people can hear on camera has come from me fundamentally not

962
01:18:17.000 --> 01:18:23.480
understanding the world and so I put so much effort into trying to understand when people would

963
01:18:23.480 --> 01:18:29.640
say do like stop being that way or you're you're really cocky or you're really arrogant and I was

964
01:18:29.640 --> 01:18:35.560
like how do I not be that and are you really distractable or you're really you know you're scattered

965
01:18:35.560 --> 01:18:40.200
and these are all things that like you know it hurts when you hear these things but you're like okay

966
01:18:40.200 --> 01:18:45.480
but what do I do and so I would encourage you if you have either negative traits that you're

967
01:18:45.480 --> 01:18:51.960
trying to get rid of or positive traits that you're trying to accrue or become more like to simply

968
01:18:51.960 --> 01:18:57.560
demystify it by breaking it down into the behaviors and when you do that you'll realize that

969
01:18:58.280 --> 01:19:03.720
though there may be many variables in that there are lots of little things that it takes they're

970
01:19:03.720 --> 01:19:08.920
usually not nearly as complex as you'd think and so then you just start looking at it as a checklist

971
01:19:08.920 --> 01:19:14.920
and saying okay people think I'm arrogant when I begin my convert begin talking to them about how

972
01:19:14.920 --> 01:19:20.680
much money I make okay so I have two options I can either be around people who like talking about

973
01:19:20.680 --> 01:19:24.920
money and don't see this arrogant or when I'm around people who I think I have a high likelihood of

974
01:19:24.920 --> 01:19:30.280
that and I care about their opinion for some reason then I won't begin that way and then all of a

975
01:19:30.280 --> 01:19:35.960
sudden few and fewer people begin to describe you as arrogant now you are so the same but people

976
01:19:35.960 --> 01:19:40.600
describe you less than those terms and so I'll give you a different example it's completely off the

977
01:19:40.600 --> 01:19:46.760
wall here so one that was really helpful for me was defining love and so the problem with the

978
01:19:46.760 --> 01:19:51.320
English or all languages is that there's many words that mean the same thing and so we can look up

979
01:19:51.320 --> 01:19:54.520
what you know Webster dictionary or whatever but if you actually look at the definitions I think

980
01:19:54.520 --> 01:19:58.440
most words are actually poorly defined because if you just define them by what someone has to do

981
01:19:59.080 --> 01:20:04.520
then most definitions fall short and many of them if you'll find online or circular right but

982
01:20:04.520 --> 01:20:09.160
like likeness and loving to me are a continuum it's not like I like this person I love this person

983
01:20:09.160 --> 01:20:15.880
and just just exists on this I hate to I really like cool now if I were to say I love you

984
01:20:16.840 --> 01:20:22.360
what does that mean operationally so for me I define love by what I'm willing to give up to

985
01:20:22.360 --> 01:20:29.000
maintain my relationship with something or someone and so by using that definition I was able to

986
01:20:29.000 --> 01:20:35.640
see huh maybe I don't love my family as much as I thought because I'm actually not willing to give

987
01:20:35.800 --> 01:20:41.800
up very much in order to maintain this relationship and I might actually love my friend or I may love

988
01:20:41.800 --> 01:20:47.400
my co-workers a lot more than I love my family if we use the definition of what I'm willing to give

989
01:20:47.400 --> 01:20:53.720
up in order to keep it and then the more I thought about it I was like oh I love my goals more than

990
01:20:53.720 --> 01:21:01.800
I love anyone I'm not willing to give up my goals in order to maintain a relationship and so I

991
01:21:01.880 --> 01:21:06.760
actually when I realized this I sat down with Layla and I was like hey I think I love my goals more

992
01:21:06.760 --> 01:21:13.240
than I love you how did that go down great because she was like my whole goal in life has been to

993
01:21:13.240 --> 01:21:17.800
help you accomplish your goals and I think the reason that we've had such an aligned relationship is

994
01:21:17.800 --> 01:21:23.720
that both of us want to help the other person achieve their goals and in so doing then you're

995
01:21:23.720 --> 01:21:30.760
aligned and it's like wow I I would give up everything to maintain peace because if Layla is the

996
01:21:30.760 --> 01:21:35.480
person on earth that helps me accomplish my goals more than anyone else and my goals mean more

997
01:21:35.480 --> 01:21:40.600
than anything anything else than Layla is now the conduit between the two yeah she's like

998
01:21:40.600 --> 01:21:44.520
inception mind fucked you into yeah yeah yeah yeah and now some people get really uncomfortable by

999
01:21:44.520 --> 01:21:50.600
me saying that but it sounds transactional yes and it is and I believe but I believe in transactions

1000
01:21:50.600 --> 01:21:55.560
in relationships in general but when we sat like for some reason in marriage it sounds weird but on

1001
01:21:55.560 --> 01:22:00.360
a first date the first thing you share is these are my goals this is what I want to do like is that

1002
01:22:00.360 --> 01:22:04.200
it all interesting to you because if it's not if you're not aligned with where I'm trying to go

1003
01:22:04.200 --> 01:22:08.920
then maybe we shouldn't walk in this path together but for some reason later that no longer applies

1004
01:22:08.920 --> 01:22:14.280
I believe what you apply on first date should also apply on 10 years in at least that's what's

1005
01:22:14.280 --> 01:22:18.760
worked for us and if there's ever been a moment where we're like hey we feel off kilter here this

1006
01:22:18.760 --> 01:22:24.280
feels like it's conflicting with what we are earlier agreement then we reconcile it right and so

1007
01:22:24.280 --> 01:22:28.680
I bring this up because there are so many terms like loyalty trust and I spend a lot of time trying

1008
01:22:29.160 --> 01:22:34.920
to define these terms so that I can say not do I trust this person but how much do I trust this

1009
01:22:34.920 --> 01:22:41.400
person this person is honest or not no how honest is this person and the only way that you can

1010
01:22:41.400 --> 01:22:47.240
know someone is honest if is if they have had the opportunity to lie where it's not socially where

1011
01:22:47.240 --> 01:22:53.320
it's not socially socially beneficial for them where they lose status by still being

1012
01:22:53.320 --> 01:22:58.040
integrity and saying what really occurred and so I have this massive list on my phone it's got

1013
01:22:58.040 --> 01:23:04.280
all the all the terms that I refer to frequently but I would encourage you to define them by what

1014
01:23:04.280 --> 01:23:10.600
behavior you have to do if you got your phone and you know yeah can you pull up one and give us a

1015
01:23:10.600 --> 01:23:16.680
give us a thumbs you like to look out give a phone I've tons this is fun wait's words and that's

1016
01:23:16.680 --> 01:23:23.960
one of the things that I appreciate is anybody that spends enough time crafting words and thinking

1017
01:23:23.960 --> 01:23:28.600
about them precisely ends up having a very accurate view of the world because all of the fluffiness

1018
01:23:28.600 --> 01:23:33.480
that comes about we mediate our experience through language and then what you've got to agree

1019
01:23:33.480 --> 01:23:37.800
shit eating grin on your face oh I've just got so many okay well pick pick one of your favorite

1020
01:23:37.800 --> 01:23:45.720
I'll do I'll do two three of them two of them that are related and then a third one all right

1021
01:23:46.440 --> 01:23:53.080
so this will be really good this will this will be nasty for the people who are listening at home

1022
01:23:53.880 --> 01:24:02.440
so learning means same condition new behavior so phone rings answer the phone you say ABC

1023
01:24:03.480 --> 01:24:11.960
I say cool read this script and said that says DEF phone rings same condition you say DEF

1024
01:24:12.040 --> 01:24:20.680
you have learned same condition new behavior intelligence is rate of learning it's speed it's

1025
01:24:20.680 --> 01:24:27.240
a measurement of speed and so it means how many times do you need to expose to the same condition in

1026
01:24:27.240 --> 01:24:32.440
order to change your behavior if I teach someone something that script and then on the first try

1027
01:24:32.440 --> 01:24:37.960
they say DEF and someone else it takes five tries for them to say DEF they are not as intelligent

1028
01:24:37.960 --> 01:24:43.320
as the first person here's why this is interesting every person who's listening to this right now

1029
01:24:43.320 --> 01:24:47.960
has listened to a thousand fucking podcasts and they're in the exact same condition and yet they

1030
01:24:47.960 --> 01:24:52.520
have not changed their behavior which means one they have not learned and two they are dumb

1031
01:24:53.400 --> 01:24:57.880
which also means that if you can control your behavior you can also control how intelligent you are

1032
01:24:58.760 --> 01:25:03.800
and so if you want to be a smart cookie then it means that you just decrease the amount of times

1033
01:25:03.800 --> 01:25:08.920
that you do not change your behavior under the same conditions and so when I think about this when

1034
01:25:08.920 --> 01:25:15.560
I teach my team when I teach anyone I think in these conditions and so every time you watch or

1035
01:25:15.560 --> 01:25:19.960
you consume a piece of content you read a book if you think what behavior I'm going am I going to

1036
01:25:19.960 --> 01:25:25.640
change as a result of this if the answer is nothing you wasted your time and you pretended to be

1037
01:25:25.640 --> 01:25:31.080
learning but you were really entertaining yourself and so that frame has been incredibly help for

1038
01:25:31.080 --> 01:25:37.880
me to speed up how quickly I take action because I don't want to be a dodo bird so that's two

1039
01:25:37.880 --> 01:25:45.800
two different ones learning and intelligence one that I've been thinking a lot about with

1040
01:25:45.800 --> 01:25:53.240
Dr. K now we go back and forth is motivation so I'll tell you a story and then I'll bring it

1041
01:25:53.720 --> 01:25:58.120
up I'll bring it around so I had I was at an event and a young lady said

1042
01:25:59.400 --> 01:26:05.400
Alex can you just give me 60 seconds of motivation and of course it's like you know dance monkey dance

1043
01:26:05.960 --> 01:26:13.800
and so I you know I took a deep breath and I was like define motivation and you know she just

1044
01:26:13.800 --> 01:26:18.760
like melted you know the idea right I was like so you're you want me to answer a question or make

1045
01:26:18.760 --> 01:26:23.000
a statement about something that you can't even define and so how would you have any idea of

1046
01:26:23.000 --> 01:26:28.600
whether or not I actually did it and so then I probably gave her the answer she really wanted

1047
01:26:29.320 --> 01:26:36.840
let me define motivation for you so motivation is the equal opposite of deprivation so we are

1048
01:26:38.040 --> 01:26:43.000
we are most motivated when we are deprived of something I'm most motivated to sleep when I

1049
01:26:43.000 --> 01:26:48.120
sleep deprived I'm most motivated to eat when I'm deprived of food I'm most motivated to have sex

1050
01:26:48.120 --> 01:26:53.800
when I have an sex in a while now that logic carries for physiological needs but then you when

1051
01:26:53.800 --> 01:26:59.320
you get into psychological things or or intangible constructs so like let's think about money by

1052
01:26:59.320 --> 01:27:03.480
that same logic you think oh poor people should be more motivated because they're deprived of money

1053
01:27:03.480 --> 01:27:09.640
but that we don't see that in reality many poor people are not that motivated so it would then

1054
01:27:09.640 --> 01:27:15.080
fall and I've seen some incredibly rich people who are wildly hungry for money and so then it

1055
01:27:15.080 --> 01:27:20.040
would follow that the deprivation comes from our reference point because money is intangible

1056
01:27:20.040 --> 01:27:25.320
and so it's how much do we perceive our deprivation around money and so if all of my friends are

1057
01:27:25.320 --> 01:27:31.080
billionaires and I'm worth a hundred million dollars then I have a nine hundred million dollar deficit

1058
01:27:31.080 --> 01:27:35.960
that I have to come up I'm nine hundred million dollars poor than the person who just is at

1059
01:27:35.960 --> 01:27:39.960
five thousand a month who wants to make ten thousand dollars not I'm more motivated to make money

1060
01:27:40.040 --> 01:27:46.840
than they are because I'm more deprived of it and so in thinking about this I then think okay

1061
01:27:48.280 --> 01:27:54.760
what am I deprived of that motivates me to go get it and also when I want to try and judge the

1062
01:27:54.760 --> 01:28:00.520
behavior of others or predict their behavior I have to think what things are they deprived of

1063
01:28:00.520 --> 01:28:06.920
because I have a much stronger predictive power than trying to say how do I motivate this person

1064
01:28:07.800 --> 01:28:16.280
look at what they lack to much more accurate way to predict the things that people are going to

1065
01:28:16.280 --> 01:28:21.480
chase after operationalized what do they do so I found this quote from Timothy Leary

1066
01:28:23.160 --> 01:28:30.280
and it really it's really fantastic I think that you'll like this find the others admit it you

1067
01:28:30.280 --> 01:28:35.640
want like them you're not even close you may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them watch

1068
01:28:35.720 --> 01:28:40.200
the same mindless television shows as they do maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes

1069
01:28:41.000 --> 01:28:48.440
but it seems that the more you try to fit in the more you feel like an outsider watching normal people

1070
01:28:48.440 --> 01:28:54.360
as they go about their automatic existences for every time you say club passwords like have a nice

1071
01:28:54.360 --> 01:29:00.040
day and weather's awful today you yearn inside to say forbidden things like tell me something that

1072
01:29:00.040 --> 01:29:05.480
makes you cry or what do you think deja vu is for face it you even want to talk to that girl in the

1073
01:29:05.480 --> 01:29:10.360
elevator but what if that girl in the elevator and the balding man who walked past your cubicle at

1074
01:29:10.360 --> 01:29:16.040
work thinking the same thing who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on a conversation

1075
01:29:16.040 --> 01:29:22.280
with a stranger everybody carries a piece of the puzzle nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence

1076
01:29:22.280 --> 01:29:25.960
trust your instincts do the unexpected find the others

1077
01:29:26.040 --> 01:29:32.280
there's many matrix undertones here

1078
01:29:39.320 --> 01:29:42.840
I mean I think we might have we might have covered this on a past podcast but um

1079
01:29:43.800 --> 01:29:48.760
the idea that many people want to be exceptional but they're afraid of being an exception

1080
01:29:48.840 --> 01:29:55.880
I think it's such a it's it's wanting it's wanting an outcome without the requirement

1081
01:29:56.760 --> 01:30:04.360
that the outcome has and so we can't do the same thing that everyone else approves of

1082
01:30:05.000 --> 01:30:10.200
and then somehow get a different outcome that everyone else does and so I think it's that's why

1083
01:30:10.200 --> 01:30:14.520
high that's why high agency for me is something that I look for in other people which is you know

1084
01:30:15.160 --> 01:30:20.040
asking someone why do you believe what you believe and we talked about this yesterday but

1085
01:30:22.920 --> 01:30:29.320
if you have a belief and you can't explain why you believe it it's not yours it's someone else's

1086
01:30:30.440 --> 01:30:37.880
and most people walk around parodying other people's words for the vast majority of their lives

1087
01:30:37.880 --> 01:30:41.640
and so they basically act as recorders where they clicked recorded at one point of their life

1088
01:30:41.640 --> 01:30:45.320
and then they click play in another time of their life and they're just clicking record play

1089
01:30:45.320 --> 01:30:52.440
record play record play over and over again and the reason there's that in my opinion that

1090
01:30:52.440 --> 01:30:58.520
other self that's behind it is because none of those words are yours and so it makes sense that

1091
01:30:58.520 --> 01:31:04.120
people feel alone and they feel like they're acting because they never say what they think

1092
01:31:04.920 --> 01:31:11.480
in as a result they also sound like everyone else because they were never themselves to begin with

1093
01:31:12.200 --> 01:31:18.120
it's those first three lines admit it you aren't like them you're not even close and it sounds

1094
01:31:18.120 --> 01:31:26.200
quite sort of self aggrandizing or kind of narcissistic in a way to know you considering yourself

1095
01:31:26.200 --> 01:31:30.920
as being above other people I think I didn't think it's to do with that I think it's that so many

1096
01:31:30.920 --> 01:31:39.320
people could tell themselves and optimize for a mean that may not exist and that they're reverting

1097
01:31:39.320 --> 01:31:43.960
to a mean that's just a figment of everybody's imagination and the only reason that people coalesce

1098
01:31:43.960 --> 01:31:47.240
there is because other people think that other people are going to coalesce there you know the

1099
01:31:47.240 --> 01:31:53.160
Keynesian beauty contest the same same same as that basically I don't know what okay so Keynesian beauty

1100
01:31:53.160 --> 01:32:00.200
contest is people make judgments on not who they think is the most beautiful but on who they think

1101
01:32:00.200 --> 01:32:04.520
other people think are the most beautiful and then knowing that other people know that other people

1102
01:32:04.520 --> 01:32:08.360
are going to make that decision based on that you end up with this infinite regress of trying to

1103
01:32:08.360 --> 01:32:13.080
predict things this is what's happening with politics right it's not about picking the person

1104
01:32:13.080 --> 01:32:17.000
that you want in your area it's about making the most tactical pick to ensure that overall

1105
01:32:17.000 --> 01:32:19.960
accounting for the other people and what they're going to choose that the person that you really

1106
01:32:19.960 --> 01:32:23.720
don't want in power doesn't get the seat in your area but somebody else in some other area so when

1107
01:32:23.720 --> 01:32:31.480
you have this sort of recursive but it happens socially too I say the thing that I think that you

1108
01:32:31.480 --> 01:32:36.920
want to hear knowing that you know that I could say the thing that I want but so what I say is

1109
01:32:36.920 --> 01:32:41.800
some mediator halfway between what I want to say and what I think you want to hear from me and

1110
01:32:41.800 --> 01:32:48.280
it just ends up with people nobody being themselves and everybody being some weird

1111
01:32:48.760 --> 01:32:56.120
simulated of what they think everybody else wants them to be and if we go back to motivation

1112
01:32:56.120 --> 01:33:03.720
the question is what quote motivates people to do this or to behave in this way and so most times

1113
01:33:03.720 --> 01:33:11.080
it's fear of something right and so they're afraid of something in their minds but when you actually

1114
01:33:11.080 --> 01:33:14.520
played out which is one of my favorite frames in the world which is let's take this to the

1115
01:33:14.520 --> 01:33:19.640
hypothetical streamer let's play it out two more two more plays two more turns and most times

1116
01:33:19.640 --> 01:33:25.240
you end up getting way closer to what you really want the moment after the bad thing that you think

1117
01:33:25.240 --> 01:33:30.680
will happen happens and so we we've discussed that that there's so many amazing things that have

1118
01:33:30.680 --> 01:33:36.200
happened in my life and your life and many people's lives that happened immediately after they get out

1119
01:33:36.200 --> 01:33:40.680
they have something bad happen that gets them out of that realm of just barely good enough but not

1120
01:33:40.680 --> 01:33:45.960
really and so we have this fear of disrupting the just barely good enough but not really but you're

1121
01:33:45.960 --> 01:33:52.680
also already miserable and so the fear of disrupting your misery feels ridiculous and so when you

1122
01:33:52.680 --> 01:33:58.120
think about like that right so when you think about it like that exactly the only thing we have to

1123
01:33:58.120 --> 01:34:06.440
lose is the current misery of mediocrity that we're trudging through every day and so worst case

1124
01:34:06.440 --> 01:34:10.680
you're just also still miserable but maybe you won't be mediocre anymore because at least you

1125
01:34:10.680 --> 01:34:15.560
won't be like everyone else but there's also a possibility that you are not miserable and also

1126
01:34:15.560 --> 01:34:21.880
not mediocre and by doing that you might also just start seeing who you really are because I think

1127
01:34:21.880 --> 01:34:25.560
a great portion of our identity comes from the proof that we give ourselves of the things that we've

1128
01:34:25.560 --> 01:34:29.960
done inside in the past and so if we want to build towards a different version of ourselves and it

1129
01:34:29.960 --> 01:34:38.440
begins with accruing stacking evidence that aligns with that future self and so in some ways

1130
01:34:40.040 --> 01:34:49.640
break the plate take the shot get rejected look because when you do that then again the worst

1131
01:34:49.640 --> 01:34:55.880
case is you have a broken plate but you didn't like that plate to begin with yeah it is astounding

1132
01:34:56.520 --> 01:35:01.320
how many people want to be spectacular in life but also want to fit in and be normal like by being

1133
01:35:01.320 --> 01:35:09.720
normal you are by definition aiming for average normal people get normal results weird people get

1134
01:35:09.720 --> 01:35:15.000
weird results you literally can't do what everyone else does and not expect to get what everyone

1135
01:35:15.000 --> 01:35:18.920
else has by doing what everyone else does you guarantee average results

1136
01:35:26.360 --> 01:35:33.240
it's your brother your mom your friend the one comment they're going to say

1137
01:35:35.240 --> 01:35:40.760
you've changed why are you doing another kick like this oh you're going to try that now okay

1138
01:35:40.760 --> 01:35:47.960
here we go again and the thing is is that it's not about them being right or wrong again it's about

1139
01:35:47.960 --> 01:35:54.040
how right and how wrong they could be and so for example let's say you wanted to start a podcast

1140
01:35:54.120 --> 01:36:01.080
in the past and you did three episodes and then you fell off and then they think I told you so stop

1141
01:36:01.080 --> 01:36:05.160
with these dreams stop with this crazy content stuff you're never going to become an influencer

1142
01:36:05.160 --> 01:36:10.040
or whatever your goal is replace influencer with whatever your thing is the thing is is that you

1143
01:36:10.040 --> 01:36:16.040
are still closer having done three than having done zero and so it's just about directional

1144
01:36:16.120 --> 01:36:26.840
correctness and realizing that criticizers are more often correct but

1145
01:36:33.560 --> 01:36:39.880
when it matters most incorrect and so this is where frequency and intensity become

1146
01:36:40.840 --> 01:36:46.920
flipped so somebody I mean from the investment world it's like okay if I take 10 bets

1147
01:36:46.920 --> 01:36:51.400
and I lose nine some people might say he must be a bad investor but the question is how much

1148
01:36:51.400 --> 01:36:55.800
did I lose on the nine and how much did I make on the what and the best investors in the world

1149
01:36:55.800 --> 01:37:01.720
understand the benefits of outsize returns both on the upside and the downside and so meaning

1150
01:37:01.720 --> 01:37:05.320
the perfect way of betting is having no downside and having unlimited upside you want to make

1151
01:37:05.320 --> 01:37:08.680
as many of those bets as you can and in the beginning that is literally what you have

1152
01:37:09.240 --> 01:37:15.560
and so the problem is you have a bet that you take you make three podcasts and you didn't stick

1153
01:37:15.560 --> 01:37:22.840
with it and so then criticizer gets one point but you lost nothing you maybe even gain

1154
01:37:22.840 --> 01:37:26.680
a little bit of skill and you gain some experience which means you're actually still better off

1155
01:37:26.680 --> 01:37:34.200
than you were when you started so it is a zero lost game by choosing to begin that's the thing

1156
01:37:34.280 --> 01:37:41.960
about cynics right 99% of the time and wrong 100% of the time I use this example because I think

1157
01:37:41.960 --> 01:37:47.400
it really drives it home so if you if you have judgmental parents or judgmental friends or judgmental

1158
01:37:47.400 --> 01:37:52.360
whatever's and you date people and you bring them home if they say I don't think this is the girl

1159
01:37:52.360 --> 01:38:00.120
for you they're right every single time your entire life except for the one person that you decide

1160
01:38:00.200 --> 01:38:05.480
to marry and then they are absolutely wrong at the time that it mattered most and the thing is

1161
01:38:05.480 --> 01:38:09.240
is they get to say on your sixth girlfriend and seventh girlfriend and eighth girlfriend because

1162
01:38:09.240 --> 01:38:15.480
let's face it you've been alive for a while I have a perfect I have a perfect guess I'm right 100%

1163
01:38:15.480 --> 01:38:20.920
of the time this really will see how long this one lasts and two years in there like see you finally

1164
01:38:20.920 --> 01:38:24.840
broke up with their I told you the beginning it wasn't going to last well it never fucking lasts

1165
01:38:24.920 --> 01:38:30.280
except for the one that's going to stick duh and the business never works until it's the one that

1166
01:38:30.280 --> 01:38:38.200
does and the episode doesn't take off except for the one that does and whether it's 10 or 10,000

1167
01:38:38.200 --> 01:38:44.040
eventually one does because when you do more you get better at doing which is why not quitting is

1168
01:38:44.040 --> 01:38:49.320
the best skill and the only thing that matters because by default with an infinite game perspective

1169
01:38:49.320 --> 01:38:54.440
which I encourage everyone to have the point of the game is to keep the game going it's the only

1170
01:38:54.520 --> 01:39:00.760
objective because even if I obviously come from the business world so even if your goal was to be

1171
01:39:00.760 --> 01:39:05.640
number one at business it's like buy what metric enterprise value growth profit revenue all

1172
01:39:05.640 --> 01:39:10.520
said okay maybe it's richest man in the world okay for how long look at the history of mankind

1173
01:39:10.520 --> 01:39:15.000
not one person has ever been richest man forever and so you get to touch the top even if you're

1174
01:39:15.000 --> 01:39:21.400
that one guy for a moment and then it's gone again and so you can't have that as the the end point

1175
01:39:21.400 --> 01:39:28.040
because it is by its very nature finite but the competitor whose objective is to continue to play

1176
01:39:28.040 --> 01:39:35.080
can't be beaten because by playing he wins this is why I think a lot of people have chips on their

1177
01:39:35.080 --> 01:39:45.160
shoulders once they get to even a modicum of success because everybody that starts off has this

1178
01:39:45.960 --> 01:39:51.160
huge amount of escape velocity that's needed to be accumulated the starting from total inertia

1179
01:39:51.400 --> 01:39:57.560
lifting off where the gravity strongest going past all of these the disbelief and the criticism

1180
01:39:57.560 --> 01:40:02.840
and the lonely chapter and all of this stuff so they've had to go through all of these trenches and

1181
01:40:02.840 --> 01:40:08.440
get over all of these hurdles and then they finally get to the stage where they're in a little bit

1182
01:40:08.440 --> 01:40:14.200
more light altitude they're floating out there a little bit more and maybe their velocity gives

1183
01:40:14.200 --> 01:40:20.840
them or their fuel give them more returns in terms of their velocity and now people say I must be

1184
01:40:20.920 --> 01:40:27.160
nice for you and you go dude fuck you like if you could have seen how much

1185
01:40:27.880 --> 01:40:31.720
criticism and hard work and lonely nights and all of this stuff when nobody was watching and I was

1186
01:40:32.840 --> 01:40:36.600
was unsure of myself chronically miserable and I criticized and all my friends took the piss

1187
01:40:36.600 --> 01:40:42.760
at me and I did all of these things I had to go through all of that for you to now say must be nice

1188
01:40:43.560 --> 01:40:50.680
and that's why you know Cameron Haynes um carries this rock up a hill and it says pose on the back of it

1189
01:40:50.840 --> 01:40:55.400
it's seventy two pound rock and he carries it up a really really steep hill and he does it with

1190
01:40:55.400 --> 01:41:00.040
sometimes there's cameras around but a lot of the time there's no cameras around and uh he does

1191
01:41:00.040 --> 01:41:03.960
that to it's the the only work the madness is the work that you do when nobody's watching

1192
01:41:06.520 --> 01:41:12.040
the reason the goal isn't coming at you fast enough is because every person you've seen

1193
01:41:12.040 --> 01:41:19.160
accomplished the goal you only see it the moment they accomplish it and the reason that it hurts so

1194
01:41:19.160 --> 01:41:26.920
much when people are like must be nice oh that happened overnight is because every time you fail

1195
01:41:27.800 --> 01:41:33.640
no one cares and no one sees but when you finally win people take notice discredited but it's

1196
01:41:33.640 --> 01:41:39.560
the only time they notice is when you actually win and so to even further reinforce the point

1197
01:41:40.200 --> 01:41:46.280
the fact that everyone looks like an overnight success means that the 10 years where they sucked

1198
01:41:47.160 --> 01:41:52.360
no one saw and so the fear that you have about people noticing the fact that you fail

1199
01:41:53.320 --> 01:41:56.440
is ridiculous because they're barely going to notice when you succeed

1200
01:41:59.480 --> 01:42:01.720
yeah I think this is one of the reasons why

1201
01:42:03.160 --> 01:42:07.880
tracking the journey this is something that Chris Bumstead's done very well you know he's had his

1202
01:42:08.920 --> 01:42:14.840
videographer Calvin with him forever essentially and you know tracking autoimmune disorders

1203
01:42:14.840 --> 01:42:20.280
and depression and he now his wife's pregnant and having the kid and I got to go back and do

1204
01:42:20.280 --> 01:42:30.440
yeah all of that I think one of the ways that you can at least lighten the load or bring it into

1205
01:42:30.440 --> 01:42:35.640
land a little bit more effectively is to construct that story arc you know the story of you

1206
01:42:35.640 --> 01:42:40.760
sleeping in the gym and the cars go over the top and it makes them loud noise and stuff that is

1207
01:42:41.720 --> 01:42:46.840
an important part of getting people to buy into where you are now by proving that you were there

1208
01:42:46.840 --> 01:42:52.040
when the line was flat or the actually somehow managed to break through the floor and go negative a

1209
01:42:52.040 --> 01:43:00.440
number of times and I remember watching Maisy Williams she was one of the she was Arya Stark and

1210
01:43:00.440 --> 01:43:07.960
gave her thrones and somebody asked her what she wished that she'd done differently and you know I

1211
01:43:07.960 --> 01:43:15.320
think she starts on that show and she's 11 or 12 and it's all of the most formative years of her

1212
01:43:15.320 --> 01:43:22.520
life until she's 21 or something into decade of doing this show and somebody asked her what she

1213
01:43:22.520 --> 01:43:28.280
wished that she'd done differently and she started journaling I think in season five and there's

1214
01:43:28.280 --> 01:43:33.560
maybe nine seasons or something and she had no recollection of what happened in the beginning

1215
01:43:34.200 --> 01:43:39.240
and she really wanted that and I think that if there's a regret that I have with this show

1216
01:43:39.240 --> 01:43:42.840
it's that we didn't track more of what was happening behind the scenes from the very beginning

1217
01:43:44.040 --> 01:43:50.360
partly for everybody else to show just how much shit I went through to kind of prove that

1218
01:43:50.920 --> 01:43:57.160
but most of me to remind myself of where it was and I'm sure that you know there's a couple of photos

1219
01:43:57.160 --> 01:44:01.400
you know the bed in the corner of the gym like fuck I wish like I had that and I wish I had this

1220
01:44:01.400 --> 01:44:05.480
and I wish I had another one you know if you'd had Caleb with you the whole time imagine how

1221
01:44:05.480 --> 01:44:12.760
fucking I'd be poor broke yeah I never would have made it probably probably in fucking hospital as

1222
01:44:12.760 --> 01:44:18.760
well being on the back of a motorcycle but yeah I think it's important I think it's important to

1223
01:44:18.760 --> 01:44:23.400
track that to track that journey for yourself and for for other people but it's such a it does

1224
01:44:23.400 --> 01:44:30.920
piss me off like I wish that human psychology wasn't so easily manipulated like when you see that

1225
01:44:32.040 --> 01:44:36.920
when you see the well if you go zero to hero even if you go zero to hero to zero to back to hero

1226
01:44:36.920 --> 01:44:43.640
again like as long as you can construct that narrative sufficiently strongly for people you can just

1227
01:44:43.640 --> 01:44:50.920
get other humans to buy into you but it hasn't changed what you did it's just changed the way that

1228
01:44:50.920 --> 01:44:55.960
you presented it to people and the story that you told so it when you start to see things like that

1229
01:44:55.960 --> 01:45:02.280
it makes I find it disenchanting because it reminds me how fickle crowd mentality is

1230
01:45:03.240 --> 01:45:12.280
and it's why Ethan Supply big Hollywood actor weighed 500 pounds or something and now he's too

1231
01:45:12.280 --> 01:45:18.920
60 and he used to play fat guy funny roles and now he plays Jack Beard did Micah Dude roles

1232
01:45:19.480 --> 01:45:23.800
and the reason that his transformation is so fantastic is that you know him from before and you

1233
01:45:23.800 --> 01:45:29.720
know him now but the dude that just gets in shape or that goes through the silent quiet challenge

1234
01:45:29.720 --> 01:45:35.000
and didn't track the progress gets none of the accolade despite going through all or maybe even more

1235
01:45:35.000 --> 01:45:45.240
of the challenge so much done pack um I'd say one of the strongest mental frames that has got me

1236
01:45:45.240 --> 01:45:52.440
through my hardest times is thinking this will be the story that I will one day tell and that means

1237
01:45:52.520 --> 01:45:59.240
the harder it is the bigger the dragon the more epic the story and by consequence the more epic the

1238
01:45:59.240 --> 01:46:06.840
hero and if you think about the difference between winners and losers winners define themselves

1239
01:46:07.480 --> 01:46:12.280
by what they made happen and losers define themselves by what happened to them

1240
01:46:13.720 --> 01:46:20.680
and the difficult part of the lonely chapter is that the rocky cutscene

1241
01:46:20.760 --> 01:46:27.000
last 90 seconds in the movie and last five years in reality with no promise of it ever ending

1242
01:46:27.960 --> 01:46:33.640
no guarantee of glory what's interesting about and I don't again I don't like using the word

1243
01:46:33.640 --> 01:46:40.600
psychology but I'll say what's interesting about humans is that our ability to endure is very robust

1244
01:46:41.160 --> 01:46:47.640
if we know that will make it out and so they've done my studies where they drop the mouse in

1245
01:46:47.640 --> 01:46:53.480
and then they let it drown and it drowns really fast and then they drop a mouse in and then before

1246
01:46:53.480 --> 01:46:58.120
it gets to the point where it drowns they pick it up and then they put it back in and the second

1247
01:46:58.120 --> 01:47:03.560
time they put it in it it can last like 20 times longer I think the stats of something around

1248
01:47:03.560 --> 01:47:08.760
will drown in less than an hour if it's taken out dried off and allowed to relax it'll swim for a day

1249
01:47:09.480 --> 01:47:15.320
an absurd amount different and so if I were to say hey I need you to hold your breath

1250
01:47:16.200 --> 01:47:22.200
but I don't tell you how long 20 seconds in you might be thinking this is stupid

1251
01:47:22.200 --> 01:47:25.720
it when is he gonna stop is he gonna wait for me to pass out and all these stupid thoughts go

1252
01:47:25.720 --> 01:47:33.320
into your mind but if I say I need you to hold your breath for three minutes your lungs might burn

1253
01:47:33.320 --> 01:47:38.920
but you can see that there's this end that's coming the difficulty with personal development

1254
01:47:38.920 --> 01:47:43.080
and entrepreneurship is that you don't know when the end is coming but you still need to fight

1255
01:47:43.160 --> 01:47:48.840
like the second mouse who gets out gets dried off and gets put back in and the only certainty

1256
01:47:48.840 --> 01:47:53.720
that I can give you is that it's the same thing that every other mouse every other person who got

1257
01:47:53.720 --> 01:48:00.680
through that period went through and you won't die and if you do die you won't care because you'll be dead

1258
01:48:02.840 --> 01:48:06.840
and so best case you win worst case it won't matter

1259
01:48:13.720 --> 01:48:21.080
it's the same mentality it's the same reason why uber works the reason that uber works is partly

1260
01:48:21.080 --> 01:48:25.640
because you can get a car from anywhere but the real reason is that you know when the car's gonna

1261
01:48:25.640 --> 01:48:32.360
arrive you know remember back in the day you'd ring a taxi and then just wait and you go I mean

1262
01:48:32.360 --> 01:48:37.800
he's as some far away I don't know how far away and then it ends up coming along but we've

1263
01:48:37.800 --> 01:48:41.880
mentioned it a couple of times today a frame that I've used north a lot over the last

1264
01:48:42.520 --> 01:48:51.800
year or so is this is the price of doing business so reframing things from bugs to features

1265
01:48:52.680 --> 01:48:56.840
you know you need to get into one of my nightclubs 10 years ago there's an entry fee at the dorm

1266
01:48:56.840 --> 01:49:01.880
and this is the cost of doing business I remember Facebook got this the biggest fine in tech history

1267
01:49:01.880 --> 01:49:08.440
maybe 10 years ago or something like that and they find some scene numbers absolutely huge number

1268
01:49:08.520 --> 01:49:13.320
and somebody worked it out that it was like half of one quarter of one territories profit

1269
01:49:14.200 --> 01:49:19.880
and you think well I'm aware that in sort of absolute terms this is a massive number but in

1270
01:49:19.880 --> 01:49:24.440
relative terms they can just go okay well we'll just factor this into the P&L and go through this

1271
01:49:24.440 --> 01:49:33.320
so thinking about the byproducts of things that other people see as a luxury that you have

1272
01:49:34.040 --> 01:49:39.400
reduction of privacy that comes along perhaps with increasing the size of your platform and you go

1273
01:49:39.400 --> 01:49:47.000
okay well I can shout and scream and rail against this people saying must be nice you know that's a

1274
01:49:47.000 --> 01:49:51.960
good one fucking hell that's a difficult one I am going to get people saying must be nice because I

1275
01:49:51.960 --> 01:49:59.160
just got a promotion at work and that's unfair because I worked hard for that and I want them to

1276
01:49:59.160 --> 01:50:04.920
say to me well done I know that you probably went through tons of hardship that I didn't see

1277
01:50:05.640 --> 01:50:10.520
or wow you've really changed the texture of your mind due to all of that meditation that you did

1278
01:50:11.560 --> 01:50:19.080
I'm sure that 500 mornings in a row sat on a cushion in your bedroom in but fuck nowhere listening

1279
01:50:19.080 --> 01:50:24.120
to Sam Harris speaking your ears was really really tough they're not going to say that they're going

1280
01:50:24.120 --> 01:50:28.760
to say well I mean it's all right for you man you just don't seem to get angry that easily and go

1281
01:50:28.760 --> 01:50:34.840
dude you know fucking nothing about me you have no idea how hard it was for me to get from where I was

1282
01:50:34.840 --> 01:50:41.560
to where I am now but instead of seeing that as you cannot change what other people are going to

1283
01:50:41.560 --> 01:50:48.440
say because that is the natural human response to minimize progress that other people have made in

1284
01:50:48.440 --> 01:50:52.200
order to shorten the gap between you and them because if it's due to hard work that's something

1285
01:50:52.200 --> 01:50:57.400
that they could have done if it's due to natural innate talent or genetic predisposition that's

1286
01:50:57.400 --> 01:51:03.400
something that they have no control over so it shortens the gap of work and worth between you and

1287
01:51:03.400 --> 01:51:09.480
them so instead of seeing it as oh my god this is malignant and a personal curse and so fucking unfair

1288
01:51:09.480 --> 01:51:15.640
you just go this is the price of doing business if I want to be a mindful person people are going

1289
01:51:15.640 --> 01:51:19.880
to say to me dude you just seem so calm all the time I wish I was like you I wish I was built like

1290
01:51:19.880 --> 01:51:24.840
you but you know I just had too hard of a childhood or dude you you're doing so well at work I wish

1291
01:51:24.840 --> 01:51:29.240
that I didn't have the kids or I didn't have those restrictions or that my parents had taught me

1292
01:51:29.240 --> 01:51:36.920
more about business it's just the price of doing business you know a fun frame with that is when

1293
01:51:36.920 --> 01:51:46.680
someone says must be nice you can just say it is or someone says man you must have exceptional

1294
01:51:46.680 --> 01:51:51.320
genetics to have the body you have and it just happens so easily for you and you're like yeah

1295
01:51:52.280 --> 01:51:58.120
it's sweet and the thing is is that if we think if we were to just say like if we lean into it right

1296
01:51:58.920 --> 01:52:03.560
to some degree while leaning into it you also eliminate a competitor if you want to hear my

1297
01:52:03.560 --> 01:52:07.960
my ugly side because if I just affirm the fact that they think it happened overnight or that it

1298
01:52:07.960 --> 01:52:13.320
was genetic or whatever it makes it more out with reach right yeah I do I've thought about this so

1299
01:52:13.320 --> 01:52:21.640
this is such a good point such a good point that somebody telling you going David Goggins mode

1300
01:52:21.640 --> 01:52:28.680
and somebody saying this is how hard I had to work to achieve this thing look at how hard I had to go

1301
01:52:28.680 --> 01:52:34.120
through and look at all of the setbacks I had and look at just how in the red I was before I got

1302
01:52:34.120 --> 01:52:39.240
to the black before I got to the green just look at all of these things people see that as a threat

1303
01:52:39.240 --> 01:52:45.480
people see that as a humble brag but what it is is a treasure map this is where I was and this

1304
01:52:45.480 --> 01:52:51.960
is where I went and me with all of my inefficiencies and deficiencies and setbacks got from there to

1305
01:52:51.960 --> 01:52:58.520
here you aren't even as far into the red as I was so all of the talk I understand why hustle pond

1306
01:52:58.520 --> 01:53:05.320
kind of gets a cringe pushback from the world but what it actually should be is an unbelievably

1307
01:53:05.400 --> 01:53:11.640
empowering message that anybody can get from wherever they are to wherever you are the much more

1308
01:53:11.640 --> 01:53:18.280
disempowering one was yeah man it you know it just comes to me easily so yeah if you really want

1309
01:53:18.280 --> 01:53:24.840
to fuck somebody up tell them that it's ineffable tell them that it's ethereal and astral and you can't

1310
01:53:24.840 --> 01:53:35.080
get here one of my favorite ways to help someone overcome an excuse or a limiting belief is to tell

1311
01:53:35.080 --> 01:53:39.960
them I believe them and so if I'm like hey why don't you double your prices and then they give

1312
01:53:39.960 --> 01:53:45.960
four reasons why they can't double your their prices and then I'll say then you'll feel forever

1313
01:53:48.040 --> 01:53:55.160
and then they're like well no because x y and z and it's like great glad we got there that's

1314
01:53:55.160 --> 01:53:59.320
like your thing about only one person can be in the angry boat yeah one person can only be in the

1315
01:53:59.320 --> 01:54:09.960
negative boat yeah it's unbelievable how powerful that is what's interesting about a lot of the

1316
01:54:09.960 --> 01:54:19.400
discontent that we have around how people judge our success or achievement is that we have this

1317
01:54:19.400 --> 01:54:25.960
unspoken demand that they have a visceral understanding of everything that we went through without

1318
01:54:26.040 --> 01:54:32.600
having been there and the problem with that is that if they understood everything then they would

1319
01:54:32.600 --> 01:54:38.440
have a complete understanding of how to do it themselves and so it's making an impossible demand

1320
01:54:38.440 --> 01:54:44.040
of strangers to somehow be successful already so that they can appreciate our success.

1321
01:54:44.040 --> 01:54:49.560
Also removing your competitive advantage and so it's interesting this is just for everyone is

1322
01:54:49.560 --> 01:54:56.360
listening is that of course you can probably attest to this is that of the people that I've met in

1323
01:54:56.360 --> 01:55:01.080
my life who've been extremely successful at any endeavor there's this kind of and I want to

1324
01:55:01.080 --> 01:55:06.280
make a video about this but it's what people say in the back room and there are these common

1325
01:55:06.280 --> 01:55:13.880
things that we say to one another that other people wouldn't believe so we're like they just don't

1326
01:55:13.960 --> 01:55:21.880
get how much actual work it is to do a podcast like this people like you don't actually get that

1327
01:55:21.880 --> 01:55:29.400
what 100 hours of preparation for one one hour event looks like you you can understand it conceptually

1328
01:55:29.400 --> 01:55:35.080
but when you actually set a timer and you only use that timer and you pause it when you stop working

1329
01:55:35.080 --> 01:55:40.520
and you do 100 hours of work all of a sudden by the end of that 100 hours you have a very different

1330
01:55:40.520 --> 01:55:50.920
understanding to the very granular level of what it takes to be great at anything and that's

1331
01:55:50.920 --> 01:55:58.920
100 hours not 10,000 hours but 100 hours with feedback and so everyone's like in the back room

1332
01:55:58.920 --> 01:56:03.080
they want this magic pill they want that they want to know the secret but there is no secret it's

1333
01:56:03.080 --> 01:56:08.520
just hard work but I think the thing that everyone who's who's listening lacks is the context on

1334
01:56:09.240 --> 01:56:17.160
how hard hard work is not in that it's complex but just in that it's a continuous and unending focus

1335
01:56:17.160 --> 01:56:22.840
on one thing and noticing the details that separate mediocrity from greatness and if you're like I

1336
01:56:22.840 --> 01:56:27.640
don't know what the difference between those two things is that is the opportunity that hard work

1337
01:56:27.640 --> 01:56:35.480
reveals is that it takes watching 10 hours of you presenting and then taking notes at every time

1338
01:56:35.480 --> 01:56:41.000
that you say um or that it's transition between slides is unclean or that the audience kind of

1339
01:56:41.000 --> 01:56:44.760
gets lost there because I can see that there's no reactions to that I should probably add a visual

1340
01:56:44.760 --> 01:56:51.480
there and then when you go slide by slide realizing that okay I can put a thousand slides together

1341
01:56:51.480 --> 01:56:58.040
for 90 minutes of presenting if I really put one thought with one visual per slide and every one

1342
01:56:58.040 --> 01:57:02.680
of them and I love this description is like a coat of paint it's like you just put another coat of

1343
01:57:02.680 --> 01:57:08.760
paint on the skill set or the achievement that you're working towards and most people expect that the

1344
01:57:09.320 --> 01:57:15.640
pencil wireframe that they do on their first shot is hard work because that's the hardest they've

1345
01:57:15.640 --> 01:57:24.120
worked not the amount of hard work that is required in order to get the level of outcome that they

1346
01:57:24.120 --> 01:57:29.880
say they want or that they expect and so there's a divorce in reality because they don't have the

1347
01:57:29.880 --> 01:57:35.720
context from which to make a judgment because they've never been created anything and until you get

1348
01:57:35.720 --> 01:57:41.880
great because as soon as you get great at one thing you realize just the tremendous amount of hours

1349
01:57:41.880 --> 01:57:46.280
and work that it takes to be great at one thing and then there's this oh shit moment that I can express

1350
01:57:46.280 --> 01:57:50.200
personally which is you realize that there's so few things that you can be great at right and then

1351
01:57:50.200 --> 01:57:54.440
the discipline comes down to saying what are the two or three things that I can be really good at in

1352
01:57:54.440 --> 01:58:00.200
my life because it will take me five to seven years to be exceptional at this one thing and so like

1353
01:58:00.200 --> 01:58:05.720
even like making content a lot of people see my stuff now but I just had a friend send me a video

1354
01:58:05.720 --> 01:58:11.960
that he interviewed me before I made any other videos and I showed I sent it to my team and uh

1355
01:58:11.960 --> 01:58:18.040
he was like dude I I watched it and he was like and it was you but then I like I covered the face

1356
01:58:18.040 --> 01:58:23.000
and it he was like I mean it's your voice but it's like your clarity of thinking wasn't there

1357
01:58:23.000 --> 01:58:30.520
in the way that you articulated and the thing is it's it's uh if to the untrained eye to a beginner

1358
01:58:30.520 --> 01:58:35.880
they look at that video and they look at my current videos and say I don't get why he blew up

1359
01:58:35.880 --> 01:58:43.080
because it's the same dude but the master or the expert level can say I'll can give you a hundred

1360
01:58:43.080 --> 01:58:49.000
different things that could have been better about his now or his old videos compared to his

1361
01:58:49.080 --> 01:58:53.880
now videos and it's the granularity of that feedback that allows you to see the discrepancy between

1362
01:58:53.880 --> 01:59:01.800
your current and your desired and I think that once you actually give yourself the reality glasses

1363
01:59:01.800 --> 01:59:07.640
not the woe is me glasses but think no really if I had to do this what are what are all of the things

1364
01:59:07.640 --> 01:59:13.320
that I would have to improve then you see how incredibly long that list is and then you take

1365
01:59:13.320 --> 01:59:19.960
this deep breath and that list is the hard work it's starting at the top and then

1366
01:59:20.680 --> 01:59:25.080
wanting to cross the first one off after your first day but then realizing you still haven't done

1367
01:59:25.080 --> 01:59:28.440
it well enough to cross it off and you're like wait I have to do another day and I still haven't

1368
01:59:28.440 --> 01:59:33.000
quote made a dent in this list and then you do it another day and a third day and a fifth day

1369
01:59:33.000 --> 01:59:38.120
and a fifth week and then all of a sudden you're like okay I think I've got the first one done

1370
01:59:38.120 --> 01:59:41.880
and then you still look at this list but along the way of doing that first when you realize

1371
01:59:41.880 --> 01:59:46.760
20 other things so you could add that list for everyone that you cross off you create

1372
01:59:46.760 --> 01:59:50.600
10 more because you start to win in the weeds you start to look at a higher resolution

1373
01:59:53.160 --> 01:59:56.200
and that's the never ending cycle of excellence

1374
02:00:00.040 --> 02:00:06.600
it makes great things seem closer than you thought and further than you thought at the same time

1375
02:00:06.600 --> 02:00:14.040
100% there's no perfect way to live your twenties you either live them up and become an

1376
02:00:14.040 --> 02:00:19.560
underskilled 30 year old or you work them up and become an under lived 30 year old you just have

1377
02:00:19.560 --> 02:00:24.200
to figure out which you'd rather be accept the trade-offs and know that there are no doovers

1378
02:00:24.840 --> 02:00:32.920
and door three if you consider work life and you get to do both

1379
02:00:36.840 --> 02:00:43.640
that one ruffled a lot of feathers well it's because people look back on the 20s and realize that

1380
02:00:43.640 --> 02:00:54.680
they are one or the other I'm gonna lean into this I I am okay I had a conversation with my team

1381
02:00:54.680 --> 02:01:02.920
about this and I said I am okay being a beacon of relentless hard work I'm okay being the guy who

1382
02:01:02.920 --> 02:01:08.040
says fuck your mental health I'm okay with it because I've given it a lot of thought and I think

1383
02:01:08.120 --> 02:01:14.200
that there is the other side is wildly overrepresented and I'm willing to sit on the logical

1384
02:01:14.200 --> 02:01:22.360
extreme because I think it will help more people and there are more people that I have met in my life

1385
02:01:22.360 --> 02:01:30.440
who are dissatisfied by their live it up 20s then dissatisfied by their work it up 20s because most

1386
02:01:30.440 --> 02:01:35.720
of the time in your 20s you have no idea what you want but knowing what you need to do to work and

1387
02:01:35.720 --> 02:01:41.480
move ahead is fairly straightforward and so you can take the known and make progress on the one

1388
02:01:41.480 --> 02:01:46.760
that you have high confidence that you can make progress on and then along the way gain perspective

1389
02:01:46.760 --> 02:01:51.560
on what are the things that are actually important to in your life and you may find out often

1390
02:01:51.560 --> 02:01:55.880
that they're far fewer of those things than you really originally thought because what you thought

1391
02:01:55.880 --> 02:02:01.400
live them up in your 20s was was actually your mom and your two homies who are both mediocre and you

1392
02:02:01.400 --> 02:02:05.800
don't care about their opinion now when you're 30 anyways but what a waste of a life it would have

1393
02:02:05.800 --> 02:02:12.840
been to quote live up your mom's dream or your friends dreams to then only get to your 30s and

1394
02:02:12.840 --> 02:02:17.480
realize you didn't live it up and you also didn't work it up and now you have neither.

1395
02:02:17.560 --> 02:02:32.600
I think a lot about the first day that I sat down at university my first ever seminar I sat

1396
02:02:32.600 --> 02:02:38.360
next to my what would be future business partner for 15 years so I'm skinned I say to him I'd

1397
02:02:38.360 --> 02:02:43.160
spend all of my money partying during freshers week the first week I'd spent my entire

1398
02:02:43.240 --> 02:02:46.760
maintenance loan which was supposed to be food and everything else for the rest of the

1399
02:02:46.760 --> 02:02:55.640
term until fucking Christmas and it's September the 29. It was a good week which I could not

1400
02:02:55.640 --> 02:03:07.080
survive now and I think I think back to sort of the time that I spent and the endless hours

1401
02:03:07.080 --> 02:03:12.520
that I'm not kidding and I don't reflect that much on the club promo stuff maybe

1402
02:03:13.160 --> 02:03:19.000
to my detriment I should do it more I've spent between five and ten thousand hours stood on

1403
02:03:19.000 --> 02:03:25.000
the front door of nightclubs I've spent at least three thousand hours stood on the front door of

1404
02:03:25.000 --> 02:03:34.040
the same nightclub only on Saturdays right I didn't miss two hundred and two Saturdays in a row

1405
02:03:34.040 --> 02:03:38.520
I took four day holidays from Sunday to Thursday so that I could come back to come and do this thing

1406
02:03:38.520 --> 02:03:43.000
and I look back at my 20s and I think you know was that how much was living how much was

1407
02:03:43.000 --> 02:03:48.280
accumulating skills and the grass is always greener with this because in hindsight you think well

1408
02:03:48.280 --> 02:03:55.000
you know you imagine that you could have gone back and still accumulated all of the insights and

1409
02:03:55.000 --> 02:04:00.040
the skills that you really value in yourself that would have still happened but that you would have

1410
02:04:00.040 --> 02:04:06.120
got to maybe have more variety or you would have maybe the fun or the whatever the thing and when

1411
02:04:06.200 --> 02:04:13.400
I look for me with my constitution at what I value most in myself almost all of those things have

1412
02:04:13.400 --> 02:04:21.720
been accumulated by having a 20s and now a 30s that has been dedicated to work it up not to live

1413
02:04:21.720 --> 02:04:29.240
it up to four day holidays in between those things now remembering that now is not forever I think

1414
02:04:29.240 --> 02:04:36.200
is really important again you're on the outlier right hand end of the distribution for work

1415
02:04:37.000 --> 02:04:40.360
most people are going to pull themselves back across in terms of balance between work and play

1416
02:04:41.400 --> 02:04:45.240
but you can periodize what you're doing right now

1417
02:04:47.800 --> 02:04:52.280
you can accumulate all of that work all of that experience all of that explore time to work out

1418
02:04:52.280 --> 02:04:56.520
actually I don't like doing admin stuff it turns out I'm really great at creative or I really

1419
02:04:56.600 --> 02:05:00.760
don't like traveling it turns out I'm really great at routine all of those things there's like a buy-in

1420
02:05:00.760 --> 02:05:05.960
you remember crossfit you do the you do a buy-in thing you go to one mile run and then it's this workout

1421
02:05:05.960 --> 02:05:09.960
you have to do that buy-in let's say everyone has to do that buy-in doing that buy-in when you're

1422
02:05:09.960 --> 02:05:16.360
25 is way easier than doing that buy-in when you're 40 right I finally work out who I am in the world

1423
02:05:16.360 --> 02:05:21.160
because you start to accumulate all of these better directional assistance you're moving in a

1424
02:05:21.160 --> 02:05:25.880
more direction the accurate way earlier which means that you make more progress over the long term

1425
02:05:25.880 --> 02:05:31.480
so in retrospect I'm glad that I did work it up 20s and I'm glad that I did work it up 30s as well

1426
02:05:33.240 --> 02:05:40.600
so I'll say two two things that are might be helpful one is you are actually know my stance for

1427
02:05:40.600 --> 02:05:47.960
listening to this on work life balance but maybe as a as a concession for you your work life

1428
02:05:47.960 --> 02:05:58.840
balance obsession may just be too narrowly focused on the present and not extended into seasons

1429
02:05:59.480 --> 02:06:04.440
and so you can have work life balance where I work for three years and then I have a more chill

1430
02:06:04.440 --> 02:06:10.120
year and I think that most people think about work life in terms of their split of the day rather than

1431
02:06:10.120 --> 02:06:16.680
their split of the year or the decade so I think that you can have a much better outcome on both sides

1432
02:06:16.680 --> 02:06:22.680
if you were to split it up on a longer time horizon so good I mean everybody knows what it's like to

1433
02:06:23.400 --> 02:06:28.600
go through it every January intense period of diet five I fucked it at Christmas again

1434
02:06:28.600 --> 02:06:35.960
too much chocolate too much too much dinner and you go okay well what are you going to do I'm going

1435
02:06:35.960 --> 02:06:39.880
to work hard I'm going to focus on my diet my training for a while and then I'm going to hold

1436
02:06:39.880 --> 02:06:44.840
those gains for a period or I'm going to build a business okay my health probably going to take

1437
02:06:44.840 --> 02:06:48.440
a hit for a little while or I just get out of a relationship I need to go dating all right well

1438
02:06:48.440 --> 02:06:51.160
I'm probably not going to be able to spend so much time at work or maybe I'm going to be sleeping

1439
02:06:51.160 --> 02:06:56.680
later so my my fitness is going to knock off a little bit all of these things happen for periods

1440
02:06:56.680 --> 02:07:04.600
of time and you're remembering that now isn't forever is and that's such a great frame like a

1441
02:07:04.600 --> 02:07:09.320
hyperbolic discounting and inability to be able to imagine that this is not the way that it's always

1442
02:07:09.480 --> 02:07:15.160
going to be and that's good for good things and for bad things this isn't the way it's always

1443
02:07:15.160 --> 02:07:19.240
going to be so I better enjoy this win this isn't the way it's always going to be so I better not

1444
02:07:19.240 --> 02:07:25.160
get too disheartened by this loss you will come but that's the beautiful thing about this sort of

1445
02:07:25.160 --> 02:07:29.960
hedonic renormalizing they go good things aren't as good as you think they are bad things aren't

1446
02:07:29.960 --> 02:07:35.320
as bad as you think they are so if you if you use that extended frame as a way to approach

1447
02:07:35.320 --> 02:07:39.880
different types of goals so I'll break a very standard one which is that people measure the

1448
02:07:39.880 --> 02:07:44.040
amount of calories that they need to eat per day the very few people measure the amount of calories

1449
02:07:44.040 --> 02:07:49.320
they need to eat per week and so people will blow the day and say we'll screw it I messed up

1450
02:07:49.320 --> 02:07:53.160
today I might as well have a pizza on top of it because I had chocolate and I went off my diet

1451
02:07:53.160 --> 02:07:58.040
or whatever but if you have a weekly outlook even then all of a sudden you're like oh well I

1452
02:07:58.040 --> 02:08:03.160
can have a pizza tonight I'll just like skip most of my food tomorrow besides protein or I'll

1453
02:08:03.400 --> 02:08:09.320
have a wedding weekend and know that this whole week I'm going to be light and so I have you know

1454
02:08:09.320 --> 02:08:13.880
13,000 calories for the next seven days that I can work my way through which gives me a

1455
02:08:13.880 --> 02:08:18.200
tremendous amount of flexibility and the thing is is that the further you extend the time rise

1456
02:08:18.200 --> 02:08:21.960
in the more flexible you can be with your achievement of it as long as you only get the few things

1457
02:08:21.960 --> 02:08:26.920
that matter most and so it allows you to focus and prioritize on those few things that move the

1458
02:08:27.560 --> 02:08:34.600
rather than be overly obsessive on such a small narrow window of time that is irrelevant

1459
02:08:34.600 --> 02:08:40.040
anyways so there's a there's a coordination problem that happens when you try to balance

1460
02:08:40.040 --> 02:08:44.440
too quickly when you try to have a little bit of fun and a little bit of play and a little bit of

1461
02:08:44.440 --> 02:08:48.200
fun and a little bit of play whether it's task switching whether it's just sort of the cognitive

1462
02:08:48.200 --> 02:08:55.640
effort of your personality like your identity is I'm gym guy for three months hooray I'm work guy

1463
02:08:55.640 --> 02:09:00.680
for three months hooray but when it's I'm gym guy this morning I'm work guy this afternoon it's

1464
02:09:00.680 --> 02:09:05.320
tough it's tough to do that so yeah kind of the same as you get this economies of scale as a business

1465
02:09:05.320 --> 02:09:09.800
grows because there's more interconnectedness and communication between each person the more

1466
02:09:09.800 --> 02:09:16.040
use there are going on inside so this is an argument for sort of aggressive periodizing I'm a

1467
02:09:16.040 --> 02:09:23.720
hyper proponent of one single narrow focus I'll define two more terms since the audience didn't

1468
02:09:23.720 --> 02:09:32.120
ask for it sadness is a perceived lack of options it's why it feels like hopelessness because you

1469
02:09:32.120 --> 02:09:37.000
don't know what to do you don't know what options are available you seeing none which is why it feels

1470
02:09:37.000 --> 02:09:43.160
like there's no way out anxiety is many options but no priorities which is why you feel scattered

1471
02:09:43.160 --> 02:09:47.400
but you can't decide they feel very different but fundamentally those are the difference in the

1472
02:09:47.400 --> 02:09:53.880
conditions that make people feel like they're anxious or they feel like they're sad and so when

1473
02:09:53.880 --> 02:09:59.560
we're working through what you were just talking about with okay I want to be gym guy and I also

1474
02:09:59.560 --> 02:10:04.440
want to be work guy we have many options but a lack of priorities and so we have anxiety over the

1475
02:10:04.440 --> 02:10:09.480
fact that we're not making progress on any of them because we have not been able to say this comes

1476
02:10:09.480 --> 02:10:14.520
first and so we think about what priority means it means prior it comes before everything else

1477
02:10:14.520 --> 02:10:21.640
and what I think a lot of people have a hard time doing is being okay with saying no and saying

1478
02:10:22.280 --> 02:10:31.000
okay I will allow myself to just not get fatter rather than get fitter during this period and

1479
02:10:31.000 --> 02:10:36.040
what's interesting about most skills is that the amount of effort that it takes to maintain a skill

1480
02:10:36.040 --> 02:10:41.800
first is the amount of effort it takes to grow a skill is like one tenth correct the amount of

1481
02:10:41.800 --> 02:10:47.720
effort and so this is where the effort arbitrage is so important in terms of allocation and so if

1482
02:10:47.720 --> 02:10:54.200
you do a four out of ten on ten things you will may progress on none you will make the same amount

1483
02:10:54.200 --> 02:10:57.960
of progress that you could have made if you just did one out of ten which is none you just don't

1484
02:10:57.960 --> 02:11:04.520
regress but the extra three points that you save on the nine you could put on one other item and

1485
02:11:04.520 --> 02:11:09.720
have a ten out of ten or a thirteen out of ten an effort and then after every periodized chunk

1486
02:11:09.720 --> 02:11:16.040
of time have a big W or win that you can look back on and say I did that and therefore I am

1487
02:11:17.160 --> 02:11:23.480
and so I think that that's how you step up the mountain of progress when you're trying to work on

1488
02:11:23.480 --> 02:11:29.240
many different skills quote at the same time it's just that the at the same time is over a year not

1489
02:11:29.320 --> 02:11:33.400
over a day George told me told me this while we were on mushrooms in Nashville

1490
02:11:34.360 --> 02:11:41.080
fucking brilliant so I'm there watching you gotta get people in the door yeah and

1491
02:11:41.080 --> 02:11:47.480
there fourth of July at George turn to me and he said general ambition gives you anxiety specific

1492
02:11:47.480 --> 02:11:54.120
ambition gives you direction there is nothing more anxiety inducing than I want to be better

1493
02:11:54.120 --> 02:11:59.720
and I don't know what that and I don't know how like just think about that for a second sort of

1494
02:11:59.720 --> 02:12:05.880
embodied that I it's sort of a chasing it's a lean in and it's tight and sort of your shoulders are

1495
02:12:05.880 --> 02:12:10.440
up and there's a ringing in your ears and you have no idea it's like a threat you've heard a noise

1496
02:12:10.440 --> 02:12:15.080
in the forest you have no idea where it's come from specific ambition gives you direction

1497
02:12:15.640 --> 02:12:21.960
and I think the concept of specific versus general ambition ladders up to bundle terms I want this

1498
02:12:21.960 --> 02:12:26.600
big thing but I haven't broken that thing down into what I can actually do once you get specific

1499
02:12:26.600 --> 02:12:30.920
into the actions you don't have a lot of anxiety because you can see what is required in order to

1500
02:12:30.920 --> 02:12:35.960
get it and so to circle the loop back on sadness which is because some people who are listening

1501
02:12:35.960 --> 02:12:42.200
this may be sad so this is for you to get out of sadness and I've been sad many times in my life

1502
02:12:43.080 --> 02:12:49.960
the thing that's helped me get out of it is realizing that a perceived lack of options is what

1503
02:12:49.960 --> 02:12:56.120
causes sadness not a lack of options a perceived lack of options which means that all I have to do

1504
02:12:56.120 --> 02:13:03.000
is figure out what I need to do and figuring it out becomes the option and so then I have clarity

1505
02:13:03.000 --> 02:13:09.080
on the one thing that I need to do to pull myself out of this moment of sadness which is oh I just

1506
02:13:09.080 --> 02:13:14.520
have to figure out what to do and that is how I get at least for me have gotten out of my sadder periods

1507
02:13:14.840 --> 02:13:21.640
controversial take you really can solve a lot of male problems by getting in shape and making money

1508
02:13:21.640 --> 02:13:25.800
you still have problems they're just smaller and you have more resources to handle them

1509
02:13:26.360 --> 02:13:31.560
the world is there for the taking for anyone who can learn from their mistakes do what they say

1510
02:13:31.560 --> 02:13:37.160
they were going to do and stick with it even if it's not sexy what you used to make a man acceptable

1511
02:13:37.480 --> 02:13:44.920
now makes you extraordinary the bar for winning has never been so low show me two groups of men

1512
02:13:45.560 --> 02:13:52.040
that need to learn a new skill or achieve anything where the men that are in shape and have learned

1513
02:13:52.040 --> 02:13:58.920
to make money do worse than an identical group of those men who are out of shape and have not

1514
02:13:58.920 --> 02:14:05.080
learned to make money and it's a it's a skewed purposefully test because the skill of getting in

1515
02:14:05.080 --> 02:14:11.000
shape requires many other skills the skill of making money has many other sub skills and so the

1516
02:14:11.000 --> 02:14:16.120
real question is give me a group of more skilled men and less skilled men and I promise you the

1517
02:14:16.120 --> 02:14:20.520
more skilled men will do better yeah and so for anyone who gets offended by that you're more on

1518
02:14:21.160 --> 02:14:31.880
and so the idea is all men and women benefit from learning more skills there's no world we're

1519
02:14:31.880 --> 02:14:36.680
being more skilled hurts you what about the baffle winning has never been so low

1520
02:14:45.480 --> 02:14:51.000
if you think back to college when you were a freshman you think wow this is so hard or whatever

1521
02:14:51.000 --> 02:14:56.120
and then by the time you're senior like man these kids are so soft and so we remember things as

1522
02:14:56.120 --> 02:15:02.120
harder than they were but I also think that there is a threat of reality which is that the younger

1523
02:15:02.120 --> 02:15:08.120
generation is softer and I think we are softer than the generation above us when I think about

1524
02:15:08.120 --> 02:15:11.960
the guys who were storming Normandy and I think about the people who would be attempting to do that

1525
02:15:11.960 --> 02:15:19.960
now as a class I think that we are softer and so the thing is is that if you can barely decide to

1526
02:15:19.960 --> 02:15:26.280
take any action at all and peel your eyes away from your phone for just a moment it's so much

1527
02:15:26.280 --> 02:15:34.600
easier to beat everyone else because most people are overweight they're distracted they're poor

1528
02:15:34.600 --> 02:15:42.920
they have so few skills because it has never been easier to start a business to make money to

1529
02:15:43.000 --> 02:15:48.120
get in shape it just also never been easier to do nothing

1530
02:15:52.680 --> 02:15:59.240
and so in a world where it's never been easier to do nothing doing something becomes extraordinary

1531
02:16:00.280 --> 02:16:05.800
yeah the bar genuine you never has been so low which is it really does blow my mind sort of the

1532
02:16:06.600 --> 02:16:13.640
self-defeating cynicism mindset and I think also that's why the idea of the lonely chapter resonates

1533
02:16:13.640 --> 02:16:22.120
so much with people because it literally is like taking the red pill if you see this version of

1534
02:16:22.120 --> 02:16:32.120
the world where you go I can impact my outcomes I can learn a thing apply a thing and then I change

1535
02:16:32.200 --> 02:16:38.680
as a byproduct of doing that as soon as you take those steps you realize almost all of the people

1536
02:16:38.680 --> 02:16:45.160
around you who have parts of their life that they're not happy about a kind of making a choice for

1537
02:16:45.160 --> 02:16:50.840
it to be that way now it may be an uninformed or an ignorant choice because they haven't taken

1538
02:16:50.840 --> 02:16:57.880
said pill and then you go oh fuck that means that all of the things I don't like about me and I

1539
02:16:57.880 --> 02:17:04.280
don't like about my life and my responsibility because I can change it but given that you've got

1540
02:17:04.280 --> 02:17:12.280
generalized cynicism everywhere as opposed to thinking I'm despondent this sucks I wish that the

1541
02:17:12.280 --> 02:17:17.640
world was more hopeful you can still think that and also go that means that my competition has

1542
02:17:17.640 --> 02:17:26.360
never been weaker more vulnerable more fragile the ability to set myself out from the pack has

1543
02:17:26.360 --> 02:17:31.640
never been easier I think people struggle a lot with the concept that something can be

1544
02:17:31.640 --> 02:17:40.360
both painful and empowering it's this hurts therefore it's bad when taking full accountability

1545
02:17:40.360 --> 02:17:44.920
for life with all of the deficiencies that you have maybe the most painful thing that you do when

1546
02:17:44.920 --> 02:17:51.960
you look at yourself in the mirror say this is my fault but in saying this is my fault those are

1547
02:17:51.960 --> 02:17:57.240
also the first two steps of progress because it's my fault not anyone else's which means it's

1548
02:17:57.960 --> 02:18:04.200
my responsibility and my action that can change that and I think that marrying short-term pain

1549
02:18:04.200 --> 02:18:08.520
with long-term progress is one of the first connections that most people who are on that path have

1550
02:18:08.520 --> 02:18:12.440
to make this is the lead indicator of what will be the lag indicator that I want

1551
02:18:13.720 --> 02:18:19.000
people get frustrated not achieving what they want because they assume that they're going to

1552
02:18:19.000 --> 02:18:25.160
jump across a cavern in one leap but if you picture your goals like you're trying to build a bridge

1553
02:18:25.160 --> 02:18:32.760
across that crevice and every brick that you put on that bridge is progress and each one of those

1554
02:18:32.760 --> 02:18:37.720
bricks represents a skill that you need to learn along the way it just takes all the way until you

1555
02:18:37.720 --> 02:18:43.240
get to the other side that you can actually walk across and so the walking across is the outcome it's

1556
02:18:43.240 --> 02:18:50.200
the external perceived achievement but if you can reframe your progress as what are the hundred

1557
02:18:50.200 --> 02:18:55.080
things on this checklist what are the hundred skills that I need the micro skills that I need

1558
02:18:55.080 --> 02:18:59.720
then you can have much faster feedback cycles of wins that you're achieving along the way

1559
02:18:59.720 --> 02:19:04.920
and I think if you can define it that way then you can feel like you are winning a more often

1560
02:19:04.920 --> 02:19:11.720
but be with higher intensity because as you win skills stack on top of each other and so I give

1561
02:19:11.720 --> 02:19:19.800
this example a lot but I like it is that if you are you learn how to do math that's a skill great

1562
02:19:20.760 --> 02:19:25.560
if you then learn how to do accounting that's a leveled up version of that skill but you require

1563
02:19:25.560 --> 02:19:31.320
you have to know how to do math before you can do accounting once you learn how to do accounting

1564
02:19:31.320 --> 02:19:37.640
you can learn how to do transactions and structure deals and then all of a sudden you can become

1565
02:19:37.640 --> 02:19:45.000
a CFO and if you learn how taxes work and insurance work then all of a sudden you become and you

1566
02:19:45.000 --> 02:19:50.120
learn how to raise money all of a sudden you can be a rainmaker but the thing is is that the gap

1567
02:19:50.120 --> 02:19:54.920
between rainmaker and I know how to do math feels very big but if you look at all of the micro things

1568
02:19:54.920 --> 02:19:59.720
along the way you might not get your first major deal done which is what everyone in the man he did

1569
02:19:59.720 --> 02:20:05.800
that deal and made 20 million dollars on one signature must be nice right and it is

1570
02:20:08.360 --> 02:20:13.400
but if you break those things down into the into the requisite skills then you can make

1571
02:20:13.400 --> 02:20:17.080
significantly more progress along the way and I think that is more positively reinforcing and I'm

1572
02:20:17.080 --> 02:20:21.640
just I'm sharing this because this has been a perspective that has served me so well in my life

1573
02:20:21.640 --> 02:20:28.120
because the goals that I have now take many years to come to fruition like I'm working in a goal

1574
02:20:28.120 --> 02:20:33.400
that in the next probably 18 months I will have been working on for 13 years and it will it will

1575
02:20:33.400 --> 02:20:39.560
probably come do and the crazy thing is is that the bigger your goal the bigger timeline has to be

1576
02:20:39.560 --> 02:20:48.120
but the the even crazier thing is that the bigger timeline the easier it is if I said you just have

1577
02:20:48.120 --> 02:20:53.320
you have to learn French and you don't speak French and you have to do it by tomorrow it's impossible

1578
02:20:53.320 --> 02:20:56.360
you're not going to do it there's no way that you're going to be able to do it but if I said you have

1579
02:20:56.360 --> 02:21:00.760
to learn in a decade you're like I could I could easily do it you could probably learn 10 languages

1580
02:21:00.760 --> 02:21:05.640
in a decade and so all of a sudden the goals that you have can be significantly more achievable and

1581
02:21:05.640 --> 02:21:09.880
you can feel like consistently making progress by moving out your timeline but because people are

1582
02:21:09.880 --> 02:21:14.920
so short term minded because they can't just stop scrolling over and over again they actually

1583
02:21:14.920 --> 02:21:18.920
make it harder for them to achieve their goals because the only goals that they deem acceptable are

1584
02:21:18.920 --> 02:21:23.160
ones that are on an unrealistic timeline and so they doom themselves from the beginning

1585
02:21:23.240 --> 02:21:29.000
how to avoid tons of problems in life go to bed on time

1586
02:21:31.320 --> 02:21:40.200
so I love these I want to find single behaviors that have many positive outcomes so if you think

1587
02:21:40.200 --> 02:21:44.920
about leverage as what you get for the effort you put it if you have lots of leverage then it means

1588
02:21:44.920 --> 02:21:48.920
you can do one thing and get many big outcomes right or one very big outcome that's high leverage

1589
02:21:48.920 --> 02:21:52.920
if you put a lot of work in and get a very little bit out of it you have low leverage and so

1590
02:21:52.920 --> 02:21:58.600
the highest form of leverage I think of are what's one behavior or one skill that I can learn

1591
02:21:58.600 --> 02:22:05.000
that then has many many downstream impacts and so for and this is specifically I'll say for the

1592
02:22:05.000 --> 02:22:11.640
the 20-ish year old so 20 to 30 20 to 35 if you can simply go to bed on time

1593
02:22:13.160 --> 02:22:19.240
you avoid drinking and getting into UI you avoid early pregnancies you avoid

1594
02:22:19.880 --> 02:22:26.200
missing messing up your work because you don't sleep well because you show up hung over the next day

1595
02:22:26.200 --> 02:22:29.160
and then you don't get the career advancement that you want or you get the judgments from your

1596
02:22:29.160 --> 02:22:32.760
coworkers from the fact that you're responsible because you drink even though it might have been

1597
02:22:32.760 --> 02:22:37.560
responsible drinking but you still smell like booze because it's in your system if you go to bed

1598
02:22:37.560 --> 02:22:43.960
on time it's less likely that you'll get mugged it's less likely you'll be in a car accident like

1599
02:22:44.280 --> 02:22:50.040
there's all of these downstream impacts from one single behavior and you also have better quality

1600
02:22:50.040 --> 02:22:53.960
sleep in general if you go to sleep at the same time every day over and over again so that means

1601
02:22:53.960 --> 02:22:58.840
that you have life extension things that happen you look younger and so now five years 10 years later

1602
02:22:58.840 --> 02:23:03.400
people are like wow you look so good for your eight there's all of these things from one central

1603
02:23:03.400 --> 02:23:10.200
behavior which is just fucking go to bed on time and so if you want the action for this you set

1604
02:23:10.200 --> 02:23:13.960
your alarm for when you go to bed not for when you wake up if you set your alarm for when you go

1605
02:23:13.960 --> 02:23:18.440
to bed you will always be able to wake up naturally it would every time you wake up and it's very

1606
02:23:18.440 --> 02:23:22.760
difficult to over sleep when you go to bed at nine because you can get eight hours of sleep and

1607
02:23:22.760 --> 02:23:29.640
still be up by five what is some of the other behaviors that fit in that category do you think

1608
02:23:29.640 --> 02:23:32.120
oh the mega bang behaviors mm-hmm

1609
02:23:32.120 --> 02:23:43.320
maybe one that a friend gave me one thing buying a dog with his so externalizing your sense

1610
02:23:43.320 --> 02:23:49.800
of self having something which gives you unconditional love your step count has just quadrupled

1611
02:23:49.800 --> 02:24:00.920
and leased there is a sort of degree of responsibility it's sort of early onset a furry child rearing

1612
02:24:00.920 --> 02:24:07.080
that makes you a better parent in future just downstream from this one decision and essentially

1613
02:24:07.080 --> 02:24:11.720
infinite number of good things happen are you grinning at it for my team smiling because they know

1614
02:24:11.720 --> 02:24:17.160
that there's probably like one thing that I tell everyone not to do get a dog yeah wow why don't you

1615
02:24:17.160 --> 02:24:22.200
want them get a dog so I think that getting a dog for the reasons that you outlined makes sense for

1616
02:24:23.400 --> 02:24:29.400
living life satisfaction like if you don't walk walking a dog is a good thing if I already walk

1617
02:24:29.400 --> 02:24:36.280
I don't get that benefit if I have interpersonal relationships and an outside version of awareness

1618
02:24:36.280 --> 02:24:42.040
of self then I don't necessarily get the benefit but there are significant costs to having a dog

1619
02:24:42.040 --> 02:24:46.760
which for me from a making money perspective because that is the game that I like to play

1620
02:24:47.880 --> 02:24:54.360
it costs a lot dogs cost a tremendous amount and so they cost you not being able to go to events

1621
02:24:54.360 --> 02:24:59.000
they cost you having to break up in the middle of the day to go home to let the dog out they cost

1622
02:24:59.000 --> 02:25:05.960
actual money the amount of total time that you spend walking the dog if you already work out

1623
02:25:05.960 --> 02:25:11.000
is most of the time just wasted now you could say hey I'm listening to a podcast fine but if it

1624
02:25:11.000 --> 02:25:16.840
but it will interrupt deep work for the most part and so I uh so to give you context on how

1625
02:25:16.840 --> 02:25:23.240
extreme I am about this uh Layla bought a dog and then I uh got her to give it away uh

1626
02:25:23.960 --> 02:25:31.880
sort of dog was a king Charles um spaniel the little nice strong british yeah very yeah super nice

1627
02:25:31.880 --> 02:25:36.920
dog nothing wrong with the dog good dude racist decision yes and so I uh we just

1628
02:25:36.920 --> 02:25:41.320
gave it to somebody else in a good home and it's very happy and you know what it probably forgot

1629
02:25:41.320 --> 02:25:47.320
about me instantly what else one of these are the big but I mean there's obviously the exercise

1630
02:25:47.320 --> 02:25:50.920
because like if you think about the what are the what are the big things that because the dog one

1631
02:25:50.920 --> 02:25:57.080
was downstream from I mean for me a big one there is exercise like if you walk it's like physical

1632
02:25:57.080 --> 02:26:01.880
and psychological health basically yeah so it has multiple there um I would say

1633
02:26:03.880 --> 02:26:06.280
eating your body weight and grabs a protein per day

1634
02:26:08.840 --> 02:26:14.040
so if we think about uh lean body mass is one of the big predictors for long term health and

1635
02:26:14.120 --> 02:26:21.160
things like that um there are only three things that are anabolic hormones resistance training

1636
02:26:22.520 --> 02:26:26.600
and protein like if someone doesn't eat protein then they start eating protein they have more

1637
02:26:26.600 --> 02:26:30.600
muscle like you don't have to exercise if you just eat more protein you gain muscle because you

1638
02:26:30.600 --> 02:26:33.800
lose less muscle because more of it comes from your diet than eating away the muscle you have

1639
02:26:36.520 --> 02:26:41.240
that's it like those are the three things and so like you can do one of them and the nice thing is

1640
02:26:41.640 --> 02:26:47.560
for most people who want to operationalize this there's this big idea and I'm not going to get

1641
02:26:47.560 --> 02:26:55.560
into food and fitness stuff because dear god but people think I have to eat healthy and it's

1642
02:26:55.560 --> 02:27:00.600
this big amorphous thing but if we chunk it down it means that you need to pick two things that

1643
02:27:00.600 --> 02:27:05.320
you like to eat in the morning that have the macros that you need to hit and you can try as many

1644
02:27:05.320 --> 02:27:09.160
times as you want because you only need one or two that you actually like and then you can stick

1645
02:27:09.480 --> 02:27:15.000
with it this is one of the best insights that you had about diet which is people over complicate

1646
02:27:15.000 --> 02:27:20.040
trying to deconstruct what a diet consists of but if you actually look at what you eat across a

1647
02:27:20.040 --> 02:27:27.240
year it's probably five meals on rotation maybe less I think I've probably got three good meals

1648
02:27:27.240 --> 02:27:31.640
in my locker you know my Gordon Ramsay would be fucking ashamed of his coming from the same

1649
02:27:31.640 --> 02:27:37.800
country so okay we'll just optimize those three meals or those five meals and that's it and the

1650
02:27:37.800 --> 02:27:43.080
thing is that a lot of personal development things business things are a lot like that where

1651
02:27:43.080 --> 02:27:47.640
they feel like an elephant when you are trying to try to break down this mat like I have to

1652
02:27:47.640 --> 02:27:54.920
learn nutrition after there's five meals 10 meals max that you eat 90% of the time you just need

1653
02:27:54.920 --> 02:27:59.320
to shift the dynamic of those meals even the restaurants that you go to even the way that you order

1654
02:27:59.320 --> 02:28:06.680
your food in the restaurants that's it and so that would be one that I would say is a super high

1655
02:28:06.680 --> 02:28:13.160
leverage one thing you can do is just change the three to five meals that you eat most commonly

1656
02:28:13.160 --> 02:28:17.960
to be the ones that are more aligned with what you want and go to bed on time and go to bed on

1657
02:28:17.960 --> 02:28:22.040
I mean shoot if you go to bed on time and you do that king of the world king of the world

1658
02:28:23.480 --> 02:28:29.240
this is one for me having a clue is overrated there's this funny myth that people actually know

1659
02:28:29.240 --> 02:28:33.400
what they're doing I've spent time around some of the richest smartest highest status people on the

1660
02:28:33.400 --> 02:28:39.800
planet and let me tell you it's idiots all the way up normalize saying I don't have a clue

1661
02:28:40.680 --> 02:28:44.200
I'm going to work out how to do it anyway having a clue is overrated

1662
02:28:45.880 --> 02:28:51.000
one of my green flags for intellect is someone being able to say that they don't know

1663
02:28:53.880 --> 02:28:59.640
like it's almost inverted at this point because I think at some point during school

1664
02:28:59.880 --> 02:29:05.320
if a teacher calls on you and you say you don't know you're punished for that and so we have

1665
02:29:05.320 --> 02:29:09.720
such a repetitive cycle of both having it happen to us and watching people like us have a punishing

1666
02:29:09.720 --> 02:29:17.160
experience that it's very very hardcore taught to us to never say that we don't know but that

1667
02:29:17.160 --> 02:29:25.800
most basic lie trains us over and over again to never say what we actually think and if we don't

1668
02:29:25.800 --> 02:29:30.920
know then that may be one of the easiest ways to start telling the truth

1669
02:29:34.520 --> 02:29:39.800
it's kind of the same as the if I can't trust you I know I can't trust you I guess I love it yeah

1670
02:29:41.000 --> 02:29:42.120
it's the exact same energy

1671
02:29:42.520 --> 02:29:56.760
not knowing is really powerful because then learning becomes the only clear directive

1672
02:29:56.760 --> 02:30:00.360
and so if we know what learning is which is same condition in behavior then it's like what do I

1673
02:30:00.360 --> 02:30:05.320
need to change about what I do in order to learn this thing it also allows us to say many things are

1674
02:30:05.320 --> 02:30:09.880
not worth learning because they probably won't affect my life in any way well think how much you

1675
02:30:09.880 --> 02:30:14.920
pity the person who like it is literally the worst if you imagine a quadrant of knowing and not

1676
02:30:14.920 --> 02:30:21.240
knowing and thinking you know and thinking you don't know the worst quadrant to be in is thinking

1677
02:30:21.240 --> 02:30:28.680
you know whilst not knowing right and that is every single person who isn't prepared to say I don't

1678
02:30:28.680 --> 02:30:34.040
know yeah and internally doesn't believe it I've already got the answer for that you know they

1679
02:30:34.040 --> 02:30:38.760
they are unable to transition across into white belt or beginner mentality they're always in the

1680
02:30:38.760 --> 02:30:44.920
yeah yeah yeah yeah I know about that I know about that I think Mark Twain said it's not the things

1681
02:30:44.920 --> 02:30:48.680
we know that kill us but the things that just that we think we know but just ain't so

1682
02:30:53.640 --> 02:30:59.640
a lot of self work can be summarized into thoughts aren't true feelings don't require actions

1683
02:31:00.440 --> 02:31:05.640
things aren't good or bad they just are our greatest enemy is ignorance to change your life

1684
02:31:06.040 --> 02:31:15.080
surroundings our actions not our past define who we are I think that's pretty much probably 95

1685
02:31:15.080 --> 02:31:22.760
percent of self work I stand by my statement thoughts aren't true feelings don't require action

1686
02:31:22.760 --> 02:31:27.160
things aren't good or bad they just are our greatest enemy is ignorance to change your life change

1687
02:31:27.160 --> 02:31:32.040
your surroundings our actions not our past define who we are man I can impact all of those

1688
02:31:36.360 --> 02:31:45.880
so let's start with ignorance so I am not a moralist but if I were a moralist then I would say that

1689
02:31:46.920 --> 02:31:55.640
ignorance is the only evil and therefore knowledge is the only good and so most atrocities

1690
02:31:55.640 --> 02:32:02.040
if we define them that way that humans inflict on one another comes from ignorance we don't know

1691
02:32:02.040 --> 02:32:09.080
something about the other person or the other party and if we had absolute context on why someone

1692
02:32:09.080 --> 02:32:13.640
does what they do if we lived their life then we would have absolute knowledge on it and then we

1693
02:32:13.640 --> 02:32:18.520
would be them and so then we probably wouldn't try to hurt them because we would be them and so

1694
02:32:19.000 --> 02:32:26.120
I see the pursuit of knowledge and it's correlated how I like it the pursuit of learning changing our

1695
02:32:26.120 --> 02:32:32.520
behavior to be my ultimate purpose in life because if I think about myself as going through life then

1696
02:32:32.520 --> 02:32:38.120
I want to learn as much as I can which is changing my behavior ideally suited to the direction

1697
02:32:38.200 --> 02:32:43.080
that I want to go in as for the if you want to change your life change your surroundings

1698
02:32:50.680 --> 02:32:56.040
if we want to behave a certain way then we want to increase the likelihood that

1699
02:32:57.160 --> 02:33:01.560
a behavior occurs and so BF Skinner said this and I just love this it's like my most savage

1700
02:33:02.040 --> 02:33:10.200
he says people say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink false

1701
02:33:10.920 --> 02:33:17.240
said if I dehydrate the horse I salt its mouth I put it in the heat and I put its face one inch

1702
02:33:17.240 --> 02:33:25.800
away from water I can readily guarantee that it will drink and I think about that visual all the time

1703
02:33:25.800 --> 02:33:31.560
when I think about myself as the horse and I think to myself what is the behavior that I want

1704
02:33:31.560 --> 02:33:36.200
drinking water and what is the salt in my mouth and what is the dehydration the motivation

1705
02:33:37.000 --> 02:33:43.640
for this behavior that I can create and so I am not a believer in free will I believe that

1706
02:33:44.600 --> 02:33:48.840
we respond to the conditions that we've had and then we learn behaviors as a result of those

1707
02:33:48.840 --> 02:33:54.360
things and so for example I could get everyone in here the entire crew to get naked guarantee you I

1708
02:33:54.360 --> 02:33:58.760
could do it all I would do is I just crank up the temperature and I'd wait and eventually everyone

1709
02:33:58.760 --> 02:34:02.840
would get naked it would happen and so everyone has this idea that they have this free will

1710
02:34:04.440 --> 02:34:12.760
but that's what would happen eventually and so if that's true then we have significantly less control

1711
02:34:12.760 --> 02:34:17.400
and at the same time more control of our our behavior if we can stack the deck in our favor

1712
02:34:18.040 --> 02:34:22.600
and so part of the reason going to bed at 9 p.m. is so powerful is because we're changing the

1713
02:34:22.600 --> 02:34:27.320
conditions so that we can change our behavior if all of your friends are poor Harvard did that

1714
02:34:27.320 --> 02:34:30.920
long study and said that the the number one correlate was your reference script which is who you

1715
02:34:30.920 --> 02:34:35.480
compare yourself to also note not who you spend the most time with it's who you compare yourself to

1716
02:34:35.480 --> 02:34:39.720
and so if you want to change your life change your compare yourself to number one but

1717
02:34:40.680 --> 02:34:44.200
part of who you compare yourself to is who you spend your time with or who at least you consume

1718
02:34:44.200 --> 02:34:47.080
the most of so if you're doing this then maybe that's a good thing or maybe it's a terrible thing

1719
02:34:47.080 --> 02:34:54.520
as you compare the wrong people but either way if you want to get fit if you get around fitter

1720
02:34:54.520 --> 02:34:59.160
people you will be deprived of fitness because you'll be the least in shape person and then all of

1721
02:34:59.160 --> 02:35:04.920
us said you'll be more motivated if you are poor but you're the richest of your friends or the same

1722
02:35:04.920 --> 02:35:08.840
level of wealth as your friends then get around people who make more money and then of course people

1723
02:35:08.840 --> 02:35:16.680
say but I can't get around people who make more money okay no one else has ever done it

1724
02:35:16.680 --> 02:35:20.280
no one who has had it worse than you has ever figured out how to do it you're right

1725
02:35:21.880 --> 02:35:23.720
right of course you're not right so shut the fuck up

1726
02:35:25.720 --> 02:35:33.240
thoughts on true oh I mean how many things do we think every day that are just false one they can

1727
02:35:33.240 --> 02:35:40.760
be factually false but also from the um reactionary perspective I'll give an example so

1728
02:35:40.760 --> 02:35:51.480
someone miscommunicates and wrongs me in some way I get angry and think I should wrong them back

1729
02:35:52.120 --> 02:35:59.240
now that's my first thought if I then say what does that behavior increase the likelihood

1730
02:35:59.240 --> 02:36:05.000
of occurring as a result what do I want to have happened as a result of my behavior well I want

1731
02:36:05.000 --> 02:36:12.840
them to apologize or I want them to just not do that again well then me reacting back to them

1732
02:36:12.840 --> 02:36:20.280
increases the likelihood that they will retaliate and so in doing what my first thought was I

1733
02:36:20.280 --> 02:36:26.360
increased the likelihood of the negative occurrence that I'm trying to avoid and so thinking through

1734
02:36:26.360 --> 02:36:32.040
what happens after that thing in interpersonal dynamics and also from a business decisions

1735
02:36:32.040 --> 02:36:37.800
perspective has helped me so much like I've had I'll give you an example of one that happened

1736
02:36:37.800 --> 02:36:43.400
not that long ago somebody reached out to me relatively big account and says hey um can you read

1737
02:36:43.400 --> 02:36:48.440
my book it would mean the world to me if you left me an endorsement um and I said

1738
02:36:51.160 --> 02:36:57.160
out of respect for you I won't just ghost this message or or give you a half-hearted answer

1739
02:36:57.240 --> 02:37:03.080
and then just hope that you forget that I said yes I'm not going to endorse your book but you're

1740
02:37:03.080 --> 02:37:07.400
welcome to send it to me I will probably just flip through it because I have a lot of other books

1741
02:37:07.400 --> 02:37:12.680
that I need to read that are more closely related to my goal but I appreciate the flattery that's

1742
02:37:12.680 --> 02:37:20.440
implied and you asking me to do that before I wrote that message I was like okay what do I want to

1743
02:37:20.440 --> 02:37:27.320
have happened after I send this message now if I say the good if I just ghost him then I will

1744
02:37:27.320 --> 02:37:31.000
probably have a null outcome and he'll probably have a slight negative because he'll remember but

1745
02:37:31.000 --> 02:37:37.480
but he'll be like okay fine that was his way of saying now but if I say if I compliment him

1746
02:37:37.480 --> 02:37:41.800
thank him for the compliment with me and also tell the truth I'll probably get somebody who in the

1747
02:37:41.800 --> 02:37:47.400
future will know that my yes means something when I when I choose to do it and so it's thinking like

1748
02:37:47.400 --> 02:37:51.800
two steps ahead of what happens after I say this thing back and is how do I increase the

1749
02:37:51.800 --> 02:37:56.840
likelihood of that second move not the first move and it sounds silly to say because people are

1750
02:37:56.840 --> 02:38:03.400
like oh of course but like I don't think most people do that and it has helped me so much and

1751
02:38:03.400 --> 02:38:09.720
even like with interpersonal damage with with with my merits with Layla if I want Layla to

1752
02:38:10.200 --> 02:38:20.360
to talk to me a certain way then if I punish her when she doesn't talk to me that way what she'll

1753
02:38:20.360 --> 02:38:25.880
really do is she'll avoid talking to me in general and so it's like I have to find a time when she

1754
02:38:25.880 --> 02:38:29.640
does that things that I can immediately reward her so that I can increase the likelihood that it

1755
02:38:29.640 --> 02:38:34.520
occurs and so I think about this all the time with most of the dynamics that we have and so

1756
02:38:35.320 --> 02:38:40.760
anyways I'll just stop on that tangent but I think this is something especially over the last

1757
02:38:40.760 --> 02:38:51.560
year that I've as a rehabilitating people pleaser big people pleaser being able to make your needs

1758
02:38:51.560 --> 02:38:59.720
known being able to make demands is a real skill and it's it's so strange given that pursuing

1759
02:38:59.800 --> 02:39:06.360
your needs is maybe one of the most fundamental human things that there is but I kind of realized

1760
02:39:06.360 --> 02:39:12.200
that especially people that you respect in a sort of social dynamics way people don't want to hear

1761
02:39:12.200 --> 02:39:19.000
what they want to hear they want to hear what you actually think about a thing so so many times

1762
02:39:19.000 --> 02:39:23.240
someone will ask you a penny what do you think of the Oppenheimer movie what you think they want

1763
02:39:23.240 --> 02:39:27.160
to hear is whatever they think which is oh wasn't it great did you watch it and I'm actually

1764
02:39:27.400 --> 02:39:31.400
did you get sour patch kids yeah I did but what they actually want to hear if you were to say

1765
02:39:31.400 --> 02:39:36.440
you know this man like I don't know it was just a little sort of drawn out for me and all of the

1766
02:39:36.440 --> 02:39:39.240
visual effects felt a little bit more I haven't seen it I don't fucking know but

1767
02:39:41.160 --> 02:39:47.560
what you think people want to hear is not what they actually want to hear they want to hear

1768
02:39:47.560 --> 02:39:52.440
what you think and that requires you to tell the truth and oddly enough that means that telling

1769
02:39:52.440 --> 02:39:57.720
someone what they don't want to hear ends up with a bigger net positive for you than actually

1770
02:39:57.720 --> 02:40:02.120
giving them the thing that they wanted for the business owners or for the advertisers in the room

1771
02:40:02.120 --> 02:40:08.600
or the people who make content by the way this is the ultimate hack is just tell the truth because

1772
02:40:08.600 --> 02:40:13.480
when you do that you will by definition make very unique content because everyone else is so

1773
02:40:13.480 --> 02:40:19.480
afraid of thinking or saying what they actually think and so you can stand out without trying to

1774
02:40:19.480 --> 02:40:23.560
stand out the problem is that the vast majority people who quote make content or try to quote add

1775
02:40:23.560 --> 02:40:29.400
value just regurgitate what they think adds value rather than just saying what they really think

1776
02:40:29.400 --> 02:40:33.000
also the benefit of experience right because it's the only way that you can stress test whether

1777
02:40:33.000 --> 02:40:39.000
or not this thing that you're trying to talk about is an actual thing and you also get an extra

1778
02:40:39.000 --> 02:40:42.920
perspective on that too when you know that this is what most of the people say about a thing

1779
02:40:43.560 --> 02:40:48.840
and I have tried it and this is my perspective on not only the thing but why other people think

1780
02:40:48.840 --> 02:40:55.880
that this thing is a thing given that I know that it doesn't work feelings don't require action

1781
02:40:55.880 --> 02:41:04.120
very similar I think this one is super powerful for we'll relate all phases but especially the

1782
02:41:04.120 --> 02:41:11.240
beginner so if you're a beginner you have to separate you feeling something and you acting on

1783
02:41:11.240 --> 02:41:16.040
that feeling because you may feel hopeless many many times but you need to continue to do the

1784
02:41:16.040 --> 02:41:21.800
activities that are aligned with your goal you may feel hungry but you need to not eat the cookie

1785
02:41:21.800 --> 02:41:26.520
to stay aligned with your goal you may feel angry but know that retaliating at your coworker has

1786
02:41:26.520 --> 02:41:32.840
no likely positive outcome you may hit your boss but undermining them in front of the team may

1787
02:41:32.840 --> 02:41:38.120
make you feel good in the moment but again destroy your long term career prospects and so I think

1788
02:41:38.120 --> 02:41:42.600
creating a gap and so I was talking to one of our CEOs who was having a little bit of stress

1789
02:41:42.680 --> 02:41:46.600
issue and I said I want you to think that you're a Yeti can what do you think you're one of these

1790
02:41:46.600 --> 02:41:51.160
cans that has a vacuum between both walls I was like you got your feelings on one side you've got

1791
02:41:51.160 --> 02:41:54.920
your internal temperature you've got your external temperature and I was like I just want you to do

1792
02:41:54.920 --> 02:42:03.880
this just create space and space within the context of behavior is time which is when I feel

1793
02:42:03.880 --> 02:42:10.200
something and I have the desire to act on it you can at that moment you have the lowest action

1794
02:42:10.200 --> 02:42:13.720
threshold which means that you're the highest likelihood of behaving or you're doing something

1795
02:42:13.720 --> 02:42:19.720
is when you have this feeling and so I want to make as logical of decisions as I possibly can't

1796
02:42:19.720 --> 02:42:23.480
hopefully we're all aligned on the fact that logical decisions in general work out better than

1797
02:42:23.480 --> 02:42:28.600
illogical decisions and so if we make logical decisions on a regular basis then we'll have longer

1798
02:42:28.600 --> 02:42:33.160
term outcomes if we want to increase the likelihood that our decisions in general are logical then

1799
02:42:33.160 --> 02:42:40.120
we want to create space between when we feel and when we do and encapsulated in one sense

1800
02:42:40.600 --> 02:42:47.000
it's just because you feel something doesn't mean you need to act on it and if you have an idea

1801
02:42:47.000 --> 02:42:52.040
that you want to act on because of the feeling if it still feels good in the morning then do it

1802
02:42:52.040 --> 02:43:00.280
but I've never regretted taking time before acting when I was angry but I sure as hell have

1803
02:43:00.280 --> 02:43:07.160
regretted almost everything that I've done immediately the moment I felt angry things don't go

1804
02:43:07.160 --> 02:43:16.760
about digesting the essence of mosey I'm not the only one so

1805
02:43:21.480 --> 02:43:27.880
I think what makes life more difficult for people is the judgment they have on themselves

1806
02:43:27.880 --> 02:43:33.400
about what they believe they're supposed to do or supposed to have achieved or that this

1807
02:43:33.400 --> 02:43:37.480
condition or this thing that happened is good or bad or it should have been good or it should have

1808
02:43:37.480 --> 02:43:46.120
been better and the story of the boy with the horse in the village I'll tell it in 30 seconds which is

1809
02:43:48.680 --> 02:43:53.400
dad gets kid a horse and everything in the village says that's amazing the old man says we'll say

1810
02:43:54.040 --> 02:43:58.360
and then the kid is riding the horse and he breaks his leg and everyone in the town says oh that's

1811
02:43:58.360 --> 02:44:03.320
so horrible and the old man says we'll see and then the army comes to town to take all of the young

1812
02:44:03.320 --> 02:44:08.360
men to war and the kid can't go because his leg is broken and everyone says that's amazing and the

1813
02:44:08.360 --> 02:44:13.400
old man says we'll see and the thing is is that as we continue to play out the timeline of life we

1814
02:44:13.400 --> 02:44:17.160
can't know if anything is good or bad until the day we die and the day we die won't matter because

1815
02:44:17.160 --> 02:44:21.880
we'll be dead and so it means that at the end of the day all of the things that occur simply occur

1816
02:44:22.280 --> 02:44:31.160
and for me reminding myself of that that I think this is bad or I think this is good it limits the

1817
02:44:31.160 --> 02:44:37.480
peaks and it also limits the valleys and saying this just is and I think it's in my opinion

1818
02:44:37.480 --> 02:44:42.360
absolute acceptance of the world without casting judgment on it and it's difficult to do because

1819
02:44:42.360 --> 02:44:46.040
we all want to make judgments and we have to make judgments in order to live we have to approximate

1820
02:44:46.040 --> 02:44:49.240
this is a good decision bad decision this is a decision that will increase the likelihood that what

1821
02:44:49.240 --> 02:44:54.520
I want to have happen will happen but most of the good bads that we have that are coming up are not

1822
02:44:55.240 --> 02:44:59.160
for our own benefit are not aligned with our goals they're aligned with one person that told us

1823
02:44:59.160 --> 02:45:02.120
something when we were seven years old and then we incorporated that and we say oh this is bad

1824
02:45:02.120 --> 02:45:06.040
because someone else when we were a kid like you hit your head and then you look at the adult

1825
02:45:06.040 --> 02:45:10.840
and the adult says that's bad you say oh it's bad I'm gonna cry now right and so there are so many

1826
02:45:10.840 --> 02:45:15.640
thousands and millions of those tiny judgments that are passed on to us that do not serve us and so

1827
02:45:16.040 --> 02:45:23.240
for me it has been more beneficial to whitewash everything and then actively rebuild what I believe

1828
02:45:23.240 --> 02:45:29.080
to be good or bad based on those things but with a baseline reality that none of it is it is kind

1829
02:45:29.080 --> 02:45:35.160
of narcissistic or solipsistic to believe that you know whether a thing is good or bad means you

1830
02:45:35.160 --> 02:45:41.720
know the future you know what the outcome of this is going to be right there's this story that

1831
02:45:41.720 --> 02:45:50.680
I couldn't believe it was about September 11th so I didn't realize this but the night before

1832
02:45:50.680 --> 02:45:56.680
September 11th actually had quite bad weather I think and it meant that people getting home from

1833
02:45:56.680 --> 02:46:02.120
baseball games got home way later and then you'll remember the morning of September 11th it's

1834
02:46:02.120 --> 02:46:08.040
beautiful blue clear skies so had that storm been only 12 hours later the whole world would

1835
02:46:08.120 --> 02:46:16.440
been different but it wasn't there's this story of a guy who was going for a meeting and I think

1836
02:46:16.440 --> 02:46:23.160
it was his birthday the lady that he worked with had got him one of these illustration ties you

1837
02:46:23.160 --> 02:46:29.560
know sort of gaudy hideous thing with drawings all over it and he was wearing a shirt that clashed

1838
02:46:29.560 --> 02:46:35.800
with it and she gifted him this as they had coffee on the morning of September 11th early

1839
02:46:35.800 --> 02:46:41.880
downhound Manhattan and she says like your shirt's wrinkled and it really doesn't go with this tie

1840
02:46:41.880 --> 02:46:45.400
where the tide will make you feel confident it's a nice present for you so he goes back to the hotel

1841
02:46:45.400 --> 02:46:49.080
she goes to the North Tower she dies he's alive

1842
02:46:51.960 --> 02:46:59.880
how on earth are you supposed to say giving that tie was good or bad you have no idea what's going

1843
02:46:59.880 --> 02:47:05.720
to happen downstream from the things that occur so I know this guy who is a podcast and you

1844
02:47:05.720 --> 02:47:12.280
years ago he like snapped his Achilles and could barely walk and so the crazy thing is that many

1845
02:47:12.280 --> 02:47:16.760
people in that time would have been like this is the worst thing that could possibly happen but

1846
02:47:17.640 --> 02:47:21.640
because he had snapped his Achilles he was like well I have to make the best of I have to do

1847
02:47:21.640 --> 02:47:26.040
something I might as well stick with that podcast that I said I was going to start and then years

1848
02:47:26.040 --> 02:47:34.200
later he began with top 50 podcasts in the world and I think an amazing frame is you can make

1849
02:47:34.200 --> 02:47:39.240
anything that feels circumstantially negative in the moment if you ask the question what would

1850
02:47:39.240 --> 02:47:46.280
make this thing the best thing ever and so I would argue maybe you would agree that you snapping

1851
02:47:46.280 --> 02:47:53.560
your Achilles was probably the best thing that ever happened to you because it got you here and

1852
02:47:55.640 --> 02:48:00.600
right now you probably have your version of the snap to Achilles that's going on in your life

1853
02:48:00.600 --> 02:48:06.920
but there's also the version of the top 50 in the world podcast that is waiting for you to take

1854
02:48:06.920 --> 02:48:15.480
action as a result of your snap to Achilles I always had this problem with people who said

1855
02:48:17.080 --> 02:48:27.880
it was meant to be right because retrospectively you're kind of taking your agency out of the

1856
02:48:27.880 --> 02:48:33.160
situation so for instance me saying I'm so glad that COVID happened and shut all of the night

1857
02:48:33.160 --> 02:48:36.680
clubs down which forced my business to close so that I could focus on the podcast so that I would

1858
02:48:36.680 --> 02:48:40.520
restart playing cricket so that I would snap my Achilles so that I would then move to America in

1859
02:48:40.520 --> 02:48:45.800
the blah blah blah blah but I actually think that that's quite a disempowering frame to put around

1860
02:48:45.800 --> 02:48:50.920
things because it totally takes away the difficulty that you have to overcome you know if you're in

1861
02:48:50.920 --> 02:48:56.920
a car accident and you break your femur and you say it was meant to be because I met my partner

1862
02:48:56.920 --> 02:49:02.920
who was the nurse that looked after me while I was being rehabbed back to health you go okay

1863
02:49:03.800 --> 02:49:08.520
or on the flip side of that you managed to be sufficiently charming to get a partner while you

1864
02:49:08.520 --> 02:49:18.120
had a snapped femur in the hospital that wasn't meant to be that was your agency so retrospectively

1865
02:49:18.120 --> 02:49:24.840
you want it all to be on you unknown and in advance you want it all to be completely up in the air

1866
02:49:24.840 --> 02:49:31.560
and unknown I think the the high agency frame allows you to break your Achilles and say what will

1867
02:49:31.560 --> 02:49:36.280
I do to make this amazing and I think that's where that's where the magic happens because then

1868
02:49:36.280 --> 02:49:42.360
everything serves you our actions not our past define who we are

1869
02:49:54.920 --> 02:50:08.040
victims see their past as their fate champions see their past as their origin story and so a lot of

1870
02:50:08.040 --> 02:50:12.440
people are living through their origin story right now or they're living through the very reason

1871
02:50:12.440 --> 02:50:15.960
that they'll never be successful but it could be the exact same situation

1872
02:50:16.280 --> 02:50:25.240
and the only difference between either character is the actions they choose to take which means that if

1873
02:50:25.240 --> 02:50:30.920
you're using Joe Rogan's frame waking up in your main player character today in this moment

1874
02:50:32.840 --> 02:50:39.240
as weird of a contract as this is the past doesn't exist just gone it's not anywhere and so

1875
02:50:39.240 --> 02:50:43.320
the only thing that we actually have control over is the actions that we take right now

1876
02:50:43.320 --> 02:50:48.200
and it's a weird eraser of time to when you really start thinking that like it's only

1877
02:50:48.200 --> 02:50:52.840
existing chemicals in my brain but it doesn't exist right now to think about the past that way

1878
02:50:52.840 --> 02:50:56.600
but in some ways it's also very freeing because it means that I get to start with no baggage

1879
02:50:57.880 --> 02:51:00.840
and in some ways for me it makes the present feel light

1880
02:51:03.400 --> 02:51:08.680
because you're not carrying anything into it have you seen that Tim urban illustration of the

1881
02:51:08.680 --> 02:51:15.160
tree of time these sort of branches so it starts off with life and there's only one black branch

1882
02:51:15.720 --> 02:51:19.960
that is the particular path that you took and there's all of these green ones that you haven't

1883
02:51:19.960 --> 02:51:25.320
taken and then it gets to now there's a line where it's now and then it turns to every branch

1884
02:51:25.320 --> 02:51:31.560
is potential right so you had lots that could have been only one that was and now you have lots

1885
02:51:31.560 --> 02:51:38.200
that could be and an unlimited number that may be altogether and that's it is it you're right

1886
02:51:38.200 --> 02:51:42.680
it's light when you think about that frame it makes the present moment feel well it doesn't matter

1887
02:51:42.680 --> 02:51:46.600
it doesn't matter what happened yesterday it doesn't matter what happened when I was a kid it doesn't

1888
02:51:46.600 --> 02:51:56.760
matter it only matters if you make it matter so Jean-Paul Sartre someone's screenshot it this from

1889
02:51:56.760 --> 02:52:03.080
a book I have no idea what the book is but it's a motherfucker I have led a toothless life

1890
02:52:04.040 --> 02:52:09.800
a toothless life I have never bitten into anything I was waiting I was reserving myself

1891
02:52:09.800 --> 02:52:19.400
for later on and I have just noticed that my teeth have gone

1892
02:52:20.360 --> 02:52:29.400
a lot of people wait for perfect conditions to start but don't realize that starting is the perfect

1893
02:52:29.400 --> 02:52:45.560
condition and the part of that quote that I like a lot from Sartre is your teeth can get sharper

1894
02:52:45.560 --> 02:52:51.400
and stronger too so that he's saving himself to use his teeth but he could have had all of his teeth

1895
02:52:51.400 --> 02:52:56.600
at the end if he had been using them the whole time and so we have this idea I call the fallacy of

1896
02:52:56.600 --> 02:53:01.160
the perfect pick but thinking that you're going to have this one shot this one pick of this one

1897
02:53:01.160 --> 02:53:11.080
opportunity this one podcast this one whatever that's going to take you all the way but it's the

1898
02:53:11.080 --> 02:53:17.320
habit of biting that takes you all the way not where you choose to bite the first time and

1899
02:53:19.080 --> 02:53:26.120
I obviously now have a huge history of this and you do too which is we have learned to just bite

1900
02:53:27.080 --> 02:53:32.760
and know that our teeth will get stronger and we will learn how to chop down along the way and

1901
02:53:33.400 --> 02:53:48.360
waiting to begin never got anyone anywhere yeah I had I kind of became obsessed with this

1902
02:53:49.080 --> 02:53:54.840
belief that one day lights duties will be out of the way and then you can finally start doing

1903
02:53:54.840 --> 02:54:00.360
the thing that you want to do what you're meant to do Marie Louise Von France says she calls it

1904
02:54:00.360 --> 02:54:06.200
the provisional life which I love there is this strange feeling that one is not yet in real life

1905
02:54:06.200 --> 02:54:11.080
for the time being one is doing this or that but there is always the fantasy that sometime in the

1906
02:54:11.080 --> 02:54:16.200
future the real thing will come about it's also known as deferred happiness syndrome the common feeling

1907
02:54:16.200 --> 02:54:21.640
that your life has not yet begun that your present reality is a mere prelude to some idyllic future

1908
02:54:21.640 --> 02:54:26.520
this idyll is a mirage that'll fade as you approach revealing that the prelude you rushed through

1909
02:54:26.520 --> 02:54:35.960
was in fact the one to your death there really isn't any other time and the more you know like this

1910
02:54:35.960 --> 02:54:41.400
is one of the I guess melancholy realizations of getting older that you actually think I'm

1911
02:54:41.400 --> 02:54:48.600
but you know it is there are things that I can't do now that I could have done before

1912
02:54:49.720 --> 02:54:54.520
it is going for both of us it is going to get linearly harder to build muscle for the rest of time

1913
02:54:54.520 --> 02:54:59.800
it's never going to be as easy as it was 10 years ago to build muscle and you go okay well

1914
02:55:00.440 --> 02:55:04.920
that's an argument for starting sooner and the same thing goes for becoming more psychologically

1915
02:55:04.920 --> 02:55:11.160
healthy for becoming more balanced for becoming more wealthy for investing in good habits

1916
02:55:12.360 --> 02:55:18.360
friends oh god Christopher Hitchens it is a melancholy lesson of older life that you can no longer

1917
02:55:18.440 --> 02:55:28.360
make old friends like find your people now find your people right now and become friends with them

1918
02:55:28.360 --> 02:55:35.960
find your habits right now and start doing them yeah it's never been easier to get in muscle

1919
02:55:35.960 --> 02:55:40.840
than it was 10 years ago it's never been easier to make money than it was 10 years ago but it'll

1920
02:55:40.840 --> 02:55:47.000
also never be easier than it is right now it'll only get harder and so that's actually like a

1921
02:55:47.000 --> 02:55:53.880
pretty strong impetus to do it now it'll literally never get easier I like so many ladies and gentlemen

1922
02:55:53.880 --> 02:56:00.840
dude yeah I appreciate you man have these fugues state episodes of fun why should people go

1923
02:56:00.840 --> 02:56:04.040
they want to keep up to date with what you've got going on or what if you've got any cool stuff coming

1924
02:56:04.040 --> 02:56:11.640
up yeah I mean I've got my next book coming out that's in you will know about it but it's

1925
02:56:11.640 --> 02:56:16.920
within the next six months or so it'll be coming out so very excited about that and working on

1926
02:56:16.920 --> 02:56:23.720
that one for six years so it's finally finally ready are you finished writing that yeah cool because

1927
02:56:23.720 --> 02:56:30.760
the last one was yeah a little closer to the wire this one I said fine I'll tell you sorry so I

1928
02:56:30.760 --> 02:56:37.000
wrote this book first and so I'll tell you the sub headline which is how to make money

1929
02:56:37.960 --> 02:56:43.720
and I after finishing that book and being like this is my masterpiece I then was like oh no

1930
02:56:43.720 --> 02:56:46.920
they won't be able to use this unless they know how to advertise because you can't use all of these

1931
02:56:46.920 --> 02:56:51.800
things about making money until you get someone to know who you are and then I was like oh shoot

1932
02:56:51.800 --> 02:56:55.240
they won't be able to advertise unless they have something to advertise which is an offer

1933
02:56:55.800 --> 02:57:01.720
so I ended up writing this book first and then realizing that I had to write offers two books away

1934
02:57:01.720 --> 02:57:05.640
and actually release that first even though I had written this other book and then I had to write

1935
02:57:05.640 --> 02:57:11.640
leads to bridge the gap between offers and this book but this is the book that I've been waiting

1936
02:57:11.640 --> 02:57:17.240
for everyone to read and consume because I think it will make the most people the most money bar none

1937
02:57:17.800 --> 02:57:23.160
did you have a problem given that your writing ability will have probably improved over the other

1938
02:57:23.160 --> 02:57:28.280
two books have you had to go back and sort of catch it up a little bit oh I rewrote it nine times

1939
02:57:28.280 --> 02:57:34.600
then last year fantastic but the first draft was done and so the ninth draft which is now a

1940
02:57:34.600 --> 02:57:40.040
publication or not in publication but is a finished product is now done back yeah what else

1941
02:57:40.040 --> 02:57:46.360
anything else um I mean we're just we're continuing to invest in portfolio companies if you're a

1942
02:57:46.360 --> 02:57:51.160
company that's looking to scale you can go to acquisition.com and if you were a beginner just

1943
02:57:51.160 --> 02:57:58.040
learn figuring out how to make your first dollar I'm a co-owner of school.com SKOOL.com

1944
02:57:58.600 --> 02:58:05.480
uh you can start for free it's a cool setup that we have to help people do it and right now 54.1

1945
02:58:05.480 --> 02:58:10.040
percent of people who start a paid community on school make money so we have put a tremendous

1946
02:58:10.040 --> 02:58:15.640
amount of effort seven eye into trying to remove all barriers and all friction for people who are

1947
02:58:15.640 --> 02:58:21.480
getting started so that they have literally no excuses. It's a way better strike rate than only

1948
02:58:21.480 --> 02:58:27.400
funds. I don't know what they're what their strike rate is but we've worked really hard to if you

1949
02:58:27.400 --> 02:58:30.600
saw the amount of detail I mean maybe you heard some of this from the podcast but the amount of

1950
02:58:30.600 --> 02:58:35.480
detail that went into like where buttons go and what things we remove was actually a big one

1951
02:58:35.480 --> 02:58:41.960
was how can we so pair this down so that people don't get overwhelmed because the number one reason

1952
02:58:41.960 --> 02:58:48.440
people cancel or decide not to do something is overwhelmed and so we're like okay how can we funnel

1953
02:58:49.080 --> 02:58:55.000
action into the clearest possible steps that people go step one step two step three and then all

1954
02:58:55.000 --> 02:59:02.040
of a sudden they're like oh I this actually worked and so it's been really cool to see the thousands

1955
02:59:02.040 --> 02:59:05.880
of people who have you know made their first dollar which is what I make all my content about it

1956
02:59:05.880 --> 02:59:10.760
to begin with and so it's been uh it's been it's been the ride of my life it's been awesome

1957
02:59:10.760 --> 02:59:22.040
okay I appreciate you man thank you