WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.160 And so if you give someone who's not prepared for a gob of potential energy that they did 2 00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:11.360 not earn or learn how to wield, it will ultimately burn them up and consume them. 3 00:00:11.360 --> 00:00:14.440 Welcome to the game where we talk about how to sell more stuff to more people in more ways 4 00:00:14.440 --> 00:00:16.200 and build businesses worth owning. 5 00:00:16.200 --> 00:00:18.840 I'm trying to build a billion dollar thing with acquisition.com. 6 00:00:18.840 --> 00:00:22.360 I always wish Basos, Musk, and Buffett had documented their journey, so I'm doing it for 7 00:00:22.360 --> 00:00:23.360 the rest of us. 8 00:00:23.360 --> 00:00:26.560 Please share and enjoy. 9 00:00:26.560 --> 00:00:28.200 No one will remember you. 10 00:00:28.200 --> 00:00:32.320 And that's a statement that bothers a lot of people, and if that does bug you, then you 11 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:34.640 probably should look away from the rest of us. 12 00:00:34.640 --> 00:00:37.960 And my team was going back and forth on even posting this because they're like, dude, 13 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:40.560 there's so many people that are going to disagree with this. 14 00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:41.880 And I'm okay with that. 15 00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:44.380 And this is not me in any way saying that my beliefs should be your beliefs or that your 16 00:00:44.380 --> 00:00:45.380 beliefs are wrong. 17 00:00:45.380 --> 00:00:49.920 I am simply explaining my beliefs and the reason I'm doing that is because I think one 18 00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:54.660 of the hardest parts of entrepreneurship is managing emotions and managing anxiety and 19 00:00:54.660 --> 00:00:55.660 managing stress. 20 00:00:55.660 --> 00:00:59.540 So that you can make higher quality decisions and high quality decisions are one of those 21 00:00:59.540 --> 00:01:02.620 things that compound over a long period of time because we make hundreds and hundreds 22 00:01:02.620 --> 00:01:05.940 of decisions every single day, every single week for our business. 23 00:01:05.940 --> 00:01:09.340 And it's many small micros that can go all the way up. 24 00:01:09.340 --> 00:01:14.220 One percent better every day compounded for 365 days, it's 37X, what you started. 25 00:01:14.220 --> 00:01:18.740 And 10% or 1.1% worse goes down to zero at the end of the year. 26 00:01:18.740 --> 00:01:25.220 And so managing my mental state has been a continuous learning experience for me. 27 00:01:25.220 --> 00:01:31.100 And the set of beliefs that sits at the core of that is what I would consider optimistic 28 00:01:31.100 --> 00:01:32.100 nihilism. 29 00:01:32.100 --> 00:01:35.620 And to be clear here, there's a lot of people who feel like nihilism is a really negative 30 00:01:35.620 --> 00:01:36.620 thing. 31 00:01:36.620 --> 00:01:40.420 And that's because they ascribe some sort of meaning to the word, but it really is just 32 00:01:40.420 --> 00:01:42.420 that you don't think that things have inherent meaning. 33 00:01:42.420 --> 00:01:44.420 It doesn't mean that there isn't any meaning in the world. 34 00:01:44.420 --> 00:01:47.860 It doesn't mean that there is a global meaning that we all have to agree to. 35 00:01:47.860 --> 00:01:52.020 As a result of that, there are downstream implications that affect my behavior. 36 00:01:52.020 --> 00:01:56.980 And I think have positioned me to be less stressed about things that come up. 37 00:01:56.980 --> 00:01:59.260 And as a result, pick better business decisions. 38 00:01:59.260 --> 00:02:00.620 And so this is why I should. 39 00:02:00.620 --> 00:02:03.660 And if only some of these things make sense for you, awesome. 40 00:02:03.660 --> 00:02:05.020 None of it makes sense for you. 41 00:02:05.020 --> 00:02:06.020 Awesome. 42 00:02:06.020 --> 00:02:07.020 If it all makes sense for you. 43 00:02:07.020 --> 00:02:08.020 Awesome. 44 00:02:08.020 --> 00:02:12.380 So the big picture for me was a lot of people take a lot of work and stress a lot about 45 00:02:12.380 --> 00:02:13.900 what other people think about them. 46 00:02:13.900 --> 00:02:17.260 And I'm not going to say that I'm here like I don't care what anyone else thinks. 47 00:02:17.260 --> 00:02:18.420 It's not true at all. 48 00:02:18.420 --> 00:02:23.340 I think I use these frameworks to try and remind myself that other people's opinions don't 49 00:02:23.340 --> 00:02:25.420 matter as much as I think they do. 50 00:02:25.420 --> 00:02:28.540 And for me, reminding myself that I'm insignificant. 51 00:02:28.540 --> 00:02:34.620 And in the long and eventual universal scale, Emma Relevant allows me to look at my failures 52 00:02:34.620 --> 00:02:36.220 and laugh a little bit. 53 00:02:36.220 --> 00:02:40.380 And so rather than say, oh my God, this is the end of the world. 54 00:02:40.380 --> 00:02:44.220 It's really on a 500 million year time horizon. 55 00:02:44.220 --> 00:02:49.100 I am a being that exists for a blip of time and then will disappear from existence. 56 00:02:49.100 --> 00:02:52.100 And one of the things I was telling a friend of mine, as he was telling me all the things 57 00:02:52.100 --> 00:02:55.660 that were stressing him out, said, you know, if you zoom out far enough, you can't even 58 00:02:55.660 --> 00:02:56.660 see the earth. 59 00:02:56.660 --> 00:02:59.540 And he started laughing and we both started laughing together because it's like, we like 60 00:02:59.540 --> 00:03:03.540 to exaggerate these things in our mind because that's what our brains trained to do. 61 00:03:03.540 --> 00:03:06.260 So it keeps us alive is making things seem in problems. 62 00:03:06.260 --> 00:03:09.380 They've actually tested this as that like, you will still always find the same number 63 00:03:09.380 --> 00:03:10.380 of problems. 64 00:03:10.380 --> 00:03:12.860 Whether they're rich people problems or they're poor people problems, they are still 65 00:03:12.860 --> 00:03:14.300 problems nonetheless. 66 00:03:14.300 --> 00:03:20.540 And so at least realizing that allows me to not judge the fact that I have problems 67 00:03:20.540 --> 00:03:24.460 as it being bad, because if I don't believe things have inherent meaning, that it means 68 00:03:24.460 --> 00:03:27.340 that I can control the meaning I described to things. 69 00:03:27.340 --> 00:03:31.980 And so for example, let's say that I get into a car accident, all right, that would be 70 00:03:31.980 --> 00:03:34.180 for most people a bad experience. 71 00:03:34.180 --> 00:03:36.700 Now how you look at that can depend. 72 00:03:36.700 --> 00:03:38.700 It could be like, okay, well, there's law of large numbers. 73 00:03:38.700 --> 00:03:39.980 I've been alive for this many days. 74 00:03:39.980 --> 00:03:42.300 It's probably when you get in one of these accidents. 75 00:03:42.300 --> 00:03:46.100 On the flip side, you could also think, hey, you know, how amazing. 76 00:03:46.100 --> 00:03:48.460 I got to experience this part of the human experience. 77 00:03:48.460 --> 00:03:52.460 I got to check that off the list of things that I got to survive, right? 78 00:03:52.460 --> 00:03:55.900 Like crazy to think about something like that, but like, what else are you going to do? 79 00:03:55.900 --> 00:03:59.060 Would you rather just like sit there and sulk and just like, this is ruined my life? 80 00:03:59.060 --> 00:04:01.940 Like, I don't think that's going to be an advantageous response. 81 00:04:01.940 --> 00:04:07.140 And so the core of all of these things that I have sits from the fact that I can create 82 00:04:07.140 --> 00:04:09.700 and destroy meaning as I see fit number one. 83 00:04:09.700 --> 00:04:14.820 And the big wrapper for this whole thing is that entrepreneurship is a stressful road. 84 00:04:14.820 --> 00:04:19.340 And so if you're someone who like gets stressed out or feels anxiety or fears overwhelmed, 85 00:04:19.340 --> 00:04:23.540 then these are the tools that I've used in my toolbox to combat those things when they 86 00:04:23.540 --> 00:04:24.540 come up. 87 00:04:24.540 --> 00:04:30.260 So this is going to be a list of mental frameworks that I apply to diffuse stressful situations 88 00:04:30.260 --> 00:04:31.540 in my life. 89 00:04:31.540 --> 00:04:34.100 And so let's start from the top. 90 00:04:34.100 --> 00:04:37.460 Number one is that I don't believe that things have inherent meaning. 91 00:04:37.460 --> 00:04:41.940 I see them much more like the weather, meaning some people say sunny days are good and rainy 92 00:04:41.940 --> 00:04:45.060 days are bad when they are really just weather. 93 00:04:45.060 --> 00:04:48.020 Because if you are in a drought, a rainy day is good. 94 00:04:48.020 --> 00:04:50.620 And if you on a drought, a sunny day is bad. 95 00:04:50.620 --> 00:04:53.780 And the flip side would be reversed if it was your wedding, right? 96 00:04:53.780 --> 00:04:57.500 And so the only thing that has happened is just a circumstance or a condition. 97 00:04:57.500 --> 00:04:59.660 And then we ascribe meaning to that thing. 98 00:04:59.660 --> 00:05:04.380 And so if we can control what that meaning is, that it means we can influence our own emotional 99 00:05:04.380 --> 00:05:05.580 response to it. 100 00:05:05.580 --> 00:05:10.620 And if the whole idea of being a good decision-maker is controlling our emotional response, then having 101 00:05:10.620 --> 00:05:12.620 tools like this can be really helpful. 102 00:05:12.620 --> 00:05:15.820 The next one is that a lot of people like to say, if it's not going to matter in five 103 00:05:15.820 --> 00:05:18.940 years, it shouldn't matter for five seconds or whatever it is. 104 00:05:18.940 --> 00:05:22.260 I like to take that a bit further and say, if it's not going to matter in 500 million 105 00:05:22.260 --> 00:05:24.820 years, it shouldn't matter for five seconds. 106 00:05:24.820 --> 00:05:28.620 Now some people take that and think, wow, then you don't think anything has meaning in 107 00:05:28.620 --> 00:05:29.620 the answers. 108 00:05:29.620 --> 00:05:30.900 Yes, that is the point. 109 00:05:30.900 --> 00:05:34.900 And so for you, it might be a bad day, but it's going like we are all going to eventually 110 00:05:34.900 --> 00:05:35.900 be forgotten. 111 00:05:35.900 --> 00:05:40.220 And as much as that bothers people, it's like, do you know who your great-great-grandparent 112 00:05:40.220 --> 00:05:41.220 is? 113 00:05:41.220 --> 00:05:42.220 You probably don't even know their name. 114 00:05:42.220 --> 00:05:43.220 You probably don't even know their name. 115 00:05:43.220 --> 00:05:44.220 Let alone anything about them. 116 00:05:44.220 --> 00:05:46.420 You probably don't even know their name. 117 00:05:46.420 --> 00:05:50.740 And we have this because we're so self-centered, think that everyone around us is going to sing 118 00:05:50.740 --> 00:05:54.060 our praises and hang our pictures on the wall and just sing them by out of us every single 119 00:05:54.060 --> 00:05:55.820 night after we're gone. 120 00:05:55.820 --> 00:05:59.660 And the real real is, why do we give a shit if we claim to not care about what other people 121 00:05:59.660 --> 00:06:00.660 think? 122 00:06:00.660 --> 00:06:06.100 What do we care what they do and talk about us afterward dead, right? 123 00:06:06.100 --> 00:06:10.020 And so I'm going to talk to you about a lovely lady named Betty White. 124 00:06:10.020 --> 00:06:14.180 So Betty White was somebody who was really early on race integration. 125 00:06:14.180 --> 00:06:17.460 She was a golden gal, a huge personality. 126 00:06:17.460 --> 00:06:20.980 She lived in 99, didn't make it 200, which is sad. 127 00:06:20.980 --> 00:06:24.460 You probably haven't thought about her until I brought this up. 128 00:06:24.460 --> 00:06:26.740 And she died about a year ago. 129 00:06:26.740 --> 00:06:31.140 And the thing is, is that she lived an amazing life, an incredibly public life, very financially 130 00:06:31.140 --> 00:06:35.860 successful, the top of her skill, beloved by all, and a, you either forgot about her, 131 00:06:35.860 --> 00:06:37.860 or b, you didn't even know her name or you knew it. 132 00:06:37.860 --> 00:06:42.580 And so how arrogant are we to think that now everyone on earth is going to remember us, 133 00:06:42.580 --> 00:06:46.580 like you probably don't even know any Indian celebrities at all. 134 00:06:46.580 --> 00:06:47.580 We're alive today. 135 00:06:47.580 --> 00:06:50.820 You probably don't even know any Chinese celebrities who are alive today. 136 00:06:50.820 --> 00:06:55.580 Probably don't know any Russian celebrities who are alive right now, right? 137 00:06:55.580 --> 00:06:59.060 And so we're so arrogant that like not only do you think that like we're going to matter 138 00:06:59.060 --> 00:07:01.700 after we die, you probably don't even matter right now. 139 00:07:01.700 --> 00:07:02.700 And those are the celebrities. 140 00:07:02.700 --> 00:07:04.660 Forget the normal people, right? 141 00:07:04.660 --> 00:07:05.660 It's just ego. 142 00:07:05.660 --> 00:07:08.660 And this is why I think so many people get bothered by a lot of the stuff that I say here 143 00:07:08.660 --> 00:07:12.500 is because they want to reject it because it makes them feel bad. 144 00:07:12.500 --> 00:07:14.580 The idea that they don't matter. 145 00:07:14.580 --> 00:07:17.980 Now obviously there's going to be a lot of counter people that wear shirts that say you 146 00:07:17.980 --> 00:07:18.980 matter. 147 00:07:18.980 --> 00:07:21.580 And I don't agree. 148 00:07:21.580 --> 00:07:27.500 And I think by thinking that way, you set yourself up to be upset at the world because 149 00:07:27.500 --> 00:07:33.420 it means that you feel anything as a slight because the underpinning of feeling like you 150 00:07:33.420 --> 00:07:36.260 matter is that you deserve things. 151 00:07:36.260 --> 00:07:41.540 And I hate the word deserve because it sets an expectation that we are bound to not 152 00:07:41.540 --> 00:07:42.940 see fulfilled. 153 00:07:42.940 --> 00:07:48.260 And so if you see suffering as unmet expectations, you can either change the conditions or you 154 00:07:48.260 --> 00:07:50.140 can change the expectations. 155 00:07:50.140 --> 00:07:54.820 And one of them happens in your mind and the other one forces the entire world to change. 156 00:07:54.820 --> 00:07:58.820 And the crazy thing is people will demand that a universe who doesn't know they exist 157 00:07:58.820 --> 00:08:02.180 or care change to their will which it won't. 158 00:08:02.180 --> 00:08:06.820 And so they self inflict their own suffering or anxiety or overwhelm when they're a business. 159 00:08:06.820 --> 00:08:09.700 It's not fair that this competitor down the street opened up. 160 00:08:09.700 --> 00:08:11.660 It's not fair that they're copying my ads. 161 00:08:11.660 --> 00:08:14.180 It's not fair that they're undercutting my prices. 162 00:08:14.180 --> 00:08:15.300 You're scrubbing a meaning to it. 163 00:08:15.300 --> 00:08:16.980 All that we know is that it happened. 164 00:08:16.980 --> 00:08:17.980 That's it. 165 00:08:17.980 --> 00:08:22.420 And so we could say how cool it is that I get to have this experience of competing with 166 00:08:22.420 --> 00:08:25.900 somebody so I can tell the story later because at the end of the day, we're all going to 167 00:08:25.900 --> 00:08:29.700 just collect our experiences and then we're just going to cast them in and then die. 168 00:08:29.700 --> 00:08:32.540 And so again, this is not meant to trigger anyone. 169 00:08:32.540 --> 00:08:37.780 This is just how I view the world and has been helpful for me because on another level, 170 00:08:37.780 --> 00:08:41.300 like as our current understanding exists of the universe, the sun is going to continue 171 00:08:41.300 --> 00:08:44.820 expanding until eventually engulfs the earth and we all die in a heat death. 172 00:08:44.820 --> 00:08:49.180 Unless we become a multi-planetary species, all of the stuff that we're going to do, 173 00:08:49.180 --> 00:08:51.820 everything they've ever done, the books that I write, the videos that I make will eventually 174 00:08:51.820 --> 00:08:53.860 all get melted into nothingness. 175 00:08:53.860 --> 00:08:58.780 And so when we have this worry that one of our videos or our post didn't get a lot 176 00:08:58.780 --> 00:09:01.980 of likes, it just really doesn't matter. 177 00:09:01.980 --> 00:09:04.820 And I'm not saying that I don't feel the feelings. 178 00:09:04.820 --> 00:09:09.900 I'm saying I remind myself of these things so that I don't feel them as much or as long. 179 00:09:09.900 --> 00:09:14.060 So let's imagine something bad has happened today in this moment. 180 00:09:14.060 --> 00:09:17.260 Now I'm going to take you through a timeline. 181 00:09:17.260 --> 00:09:21.620 So if we go three months into the future, it probably won't matter that much. 182 00:09:21.620 --> 00:09:23.180 And here's how I'll prove it to you. 183 00:09:23.180 --> 00:09:25.940 Can you think of something that happened three months ago that bothered you? 184 00:09:25.940 --> 00:09:27.580 Does it bother you now? 185 00:09:27.580 --> 00:09:28.580 Probably not. 186 00:09:28.580 --> 00:09:32.300 So we can use that evidence to project in the future that the current moment won't 187 00:09:32.300 --> 00:09:33.300 matter then. 188 00:09:33.300 --> 00:09:37.100 And if it's not going to matter then, why should it matter now? 189 00:09:37.100 --> 00:09:40.820 Real quick guys, you guys already know that I don't run any ads on this and I don't 190 00:09:40.820 --> 00:09:41.820 sell anything. 191 00:09:41.820 --> 00:09:44.700 But the only ask that I can ever have are you guys that you help me spread the words 192 00:09:44.700 --> 00:09:48.340 so we can have more entrepreneurs, make more money, feed their families, make better 193 00:09:48.340 --> 00:09:51.740 products and have better experiences for their employees and customers. 194 00:09:51.740 --> 00:09:56.500 And the only way we do that is if you can rate and review and share this podcast. 195 00:09:56.500 --> 00:09:59.860 So the single thing that I have to do is you can just leave a review, take 10 seconds 196 00:09:59.860 --> 00:10:03.220 or one type of a thumb, it would mean the absolute will to me and more importantly, it 197 00:10:03.220 --> 00:10:06.700 may change the world or someone else. 198 00:10:06.700 --> 00:10:08.900 Believe number three is that your legacy doesn't matter. 199 00:10:08.900 --> 00:10:15.380 So number one, let's assume that you define legacy as material assets that you accumulate. 200 00:10:15.380 --> 00:10:18.340 So the F degree of this, and this is something that I'm fortunate to be able to share 201 00:10:18.340 --> 00:10:26.420 with you is that my great, great, great grandfather was a ruler of the Kajar dynasty in Iran. 202 00:10:26.420 --> 00:10:30.180 And so he had 400 kids, so I'm not that related to him. 203 00:10:30.180 --> 00:10:31.180 All right. 204 00:10:31.180 --> 00:10:33.500 Just like your progeny won't be that related to either. 205 00:10:33.500 --> 00:10:35.660 Anyways, great, great grandfather. 206 00:10:35.660 --> 00:10:37.380 I actually keep forgetting his name. 207 00:10:37.380 --> 00:10:38.380 Guy was a king. 208 00:10:38.460 --> 00:10:39.380 I don't even remember his name. 209 00:10:39.380 --> 00:10:44.980 And yeah, like any conquered the fucking world or born into it doesn't really matter, right? 210 00:10:44.980 --> 00:10:48.260 He sat on the top of material wealth and power. 211 00:10:48.260 --> 00:10:51.820 And me, four or five generations later, don't even know his name. 212 00:10:51.820 --> 00:10:54.100 I know the dynasty was brought up, right? 213 00:10:54.100 --> 00:10:58.460 And so I think it was almost fun, I think was his name, anyways, point big. 214 00:10:58.460 --> 00:10:59.460 I don't think about him every day. 215 00:10:59.460 --> 00:11:01.980 I think about him literally willing to make these about how it doesn't matter. 216 00:11:01.980 --> 00:11:05.020 And so your progeny probably won't think about you. 217 00:11:05.020 --> 00:11:10.500 And so when you die and then you pass your stuff on, part of people are like, okay, well, 218 00:11:10.500 --> 00:11:11.500 I have my material assets. 219 00:11:11.500 --> 00:11:14.940 Well, okay, well, those are going to get divided up as many times over and get fought over 220 00:11:14.940 --> 00:11:17.700 with a bunch of people who don't know how to make money or manage money until lunch 221 00:11:17.700 --> 00:11:18.700 should get squandered. 222 00:11:18.700 --> 00:11:20.580 So we know that's going to happen on a long enough time, right? 223 00:11:20.580 --> 00:11:21.580 Okay, great. 224 00:11:21.580 --> 00:11:22.580 Check that box off. 225 00:11:22.580 --> 00:11:26.180 Now let's talk about your values and your beliefs, right? 226 00:11:26.180 --> 00:11:29.540 And that's what you see as your new legacy, which I think is a more noble legacy if we 227 00:11:29.540 --> 00:11:30.540 had to compare the tip. 228 00:11:30.540 --> 00:11:33.860 But even then, let's do the second version of legacy, which is just having children in 229 00:11:33.860 --> 00:11:37.540 general, is that you're like, I want to proliferate my genes, which is super Darwinian 230 00:11:37.540 --> 00:11:38.740 of you, which is awesome. 231 00:11:38.740 --> 00:11:41.340 If you want to call it awesome, it can be bad or it can be whatever you want. 232 00:11:41.340 --> 00:11:45.420 And so let's say you have lots of kids and let's see those kids have lots of kids and 233 00:11:45.420 --> 00:11:46.660 let's kids and lots of kids. 234 00:11:46.660 --> 00:11:47.660 Well, guess what happens? 235 00:11:47.660 --> 00:11:52.900 Is that five generations from now, you're one half to the fifth related to those people. 236 00:11:52.900 --> 00:11:56.460 They're 164th you and that's like five generations, not that much, right? 237 00:11:56.460 --> 00:11:57.820 Like you're just great, great grandfather. 238 00:11:57.820 --> 00:11:58.820 That's all that is. 239 00:11:58.860 --> 00:12:01.300 Talk about like great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great. 240 00:12:01.300 --> 00:12:04.940 There are one 1,000th you. 241 00:12:04.940 --> 00:12:06.500 Are they really related to you? 242 00:12:06.500 --> 00:12:07.620 Are they just humans? 243 00:12:07.620 --> 00:12:11.140 If they're just humans, which means that the eventuality of this equation, if you just 244 00:12:11.140 --> 00:12:14.660 keep adding the numbers, is that your progeny will just be humans. 245 00:12:14.660 --> 00:12:18.620 Then if you care so much about them, you might as well just care about everybody today. 246 00:12:18.620 --> 00:12:21.100 Kind of nice when you think about that way. 247 00:12:21.100 --> 00:12:23.860 And so that's the genetic argument. 248 00:12:23.860 --> 00:12:24.860 Okay. 249 00:12:24.860 --> 00:12:28.500 Number four, leaving things to your kids doesn't benefit them for a variety of reasons. 250 00:12:28.500 --> 00:12:32.860 Number one is that timing of when you give it to them probably won't matter. 251 00:12:32.860 --> 00:12:34.100 Here's some stats for you. 252 00:12:34.100 --> 00:12:39.500 So the average person gets insurance in their late 60s because their parents die in their 253 00:12:39.500 --> 00:12:41.580 late 80s or whatever. 254 00:12:41.580 --> 00:12:46.100 And when that happens, they already are old and don't need the money. 255 00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:50.140 So if you are going to give your stuff to your kids, you should give it to them when 256 00:12:50.140 --> 00:12:56.060 people deem it the most impactful in their lives, which is between 24 and 35. 257 00:12:56.060 --> 00:12:58.980 Because that is where you can materially change someone's living conditions, the education 258 00:12:58.980 --> 00:13:01.380 that they can provide to their kids, whether they can have child care. 259 00:13:01.380 --> 00:13:03.940 Those are huge changes in someone's life when they're in their 60s. 260 00:13:03.940 --> 00:13:06.140 Their die is more or less cast, right? 261 00:13:06.140 --> 00:13:09.940 And so one, if you're going to leave it to them, leave it to them one of the time it's 262 00:13:09.940 --> 00:13:10.940 impactful. 263 00:13:10.940 --> 00:13:15.100 Two, leaving it to someone in general or giving it to someone in general when someone 264 00:13:15.100 --> 00:13:19.060 hasn't earned it, tends to alter their behavior in a negative way. 265 00:13:19.060 --> 00:13:22.500 So how many people I've seen like the trust fund kids that just completely lose their minds 266 00:13:22.500 --> 00:13:27.420 and suspend all their money and get into drugs because they have no challenge. 267 00:13:27.420 --> 00:13:28.820 They have no hardships. 268 00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:30.620 Everything has been removed from their lives. 269 00:13:30.620 --> 00:13:33.980 And then basically the real hardship becomes themselves. 270 00:13:33.980 --> 00:13:39.980 And so I think we benefit from struggle on a character development perspective. 271 00:13:39.980 --> 00:13:42.940 And I see money as potential energy to be exchanged. 272 00:13:42.940 --> 00:13:46.660 And so if you give someone who's not prepared for a gobb of potential energy that they did 273 00:13:46.660 --> 00:13:51.700 not earn or learn how to wield, it will ultimately burn them up and consume them. 274 00:13:51.700 --> 00:13:55.460 Number five is law of large numbers, which is, let's say you have a bad day. 275 00:13:55.460 --> 00:13:57.860 A lot of people want to say, I need to change everything about my life because I had a bad 276 00:13:57.860 --> 00:13:58.860 day. 277 00:13:58.860 --> 00:14:01.940 But if I were to say, hey, you have 365 days in a year and a top, you know, a bottom 10 278 00:14:01.940 --> 00:14:04.300 percent day, do you expect that to be a good feeling day? 279 00:14:04.300 --> 00:14:05.300 Well, no. 280 00:14:05.300 --> 00:14:06.300 Okay. 281 00:14:06.300 --> 00:14:08.660 Well, 365 days, bottom 10 percent days, we've 36 days a year. 282 00:14:08.660 --> 00:14:10.860 Well, there's 12 months in a year. 283 00:14:10.860 --> 00:14:14.780 That would mean that you'd have three of those per month, almost one a week. 284 00:14:14.780 --> 00:14:15.780 Wow. 285 00:14:15.780 --> 00:14:18.780 I get a bottom 10 percent day once a week. 286 00:14:18.780 --> 00:14:20.020 Well, that sucks. 287 00:14:20.020 --> 00:14:21.020 Yeah. 288 00:14:21.020 --> 00:14:23.860 On the flip side, you have top 10 percent days once a week, too. 289 00:14:23.860 --> 00:14:27.660 And so I see these things because a lot of programs, we want to change our behavior and 290 00:14:27.660 --> 00:14:32.300 attribute some outside force that something happened when it might just be randomness. 291 00:14:32.300 --> 00:14:36.700 Like if you have 365 days, you're going to have top 10 percent days and bottom 10 percent 292 00:14:36.700 --> 00:14:38.620 days with the exact same conditions. 293 00:14:38.620 --> 00:14:40.300 So does it mean anything? 294 00:14:40.300 --> 00:14:41.300 Not really. 295 00:14:41.300 --> 00:14:44.100 And so for me, that helps me deal with the fact that sometimes I'm like, oh, this is 296 00:14:44.100 --> 00:14:45.420 a bottom 10 percent day. 297 00:14:45.420 --> 00:14:46.580 It's all this. 298 00:14:46.580 --> 00:14:47.580 Don't change anything. 299 00:14:47.580 --> 00:14:48.580 Bottom 10 percent day. 300 00:14:48.980 --> 00:14:51.980 I'll give you another one that I borrow called the frame of the veteran, which is from 301 00:14:51.980 --> 00:14:55.620 my good friend, Dr. Cashy, which I think this is number six, which is if something bad 302 00:14:55.620 --> 00:15:00.020 happens, imagine that has already happened a thousand times before. 303 00:15:00.020 --> 00:15:03.020 And I will tell you the first time I ever use this, because how ridiculous this is. 304 00:15:03.020 --> 00:15:05.260 So I got this new flannel, I know. 305 00:15:05.260 --> 00:15:08.100 And my housekeeper cleaned it incorrectly. 306 00:15:08.100 --> 00:15:12.100 And so it's like a nice material and a trunk, which obviously looked even better. 307 00:15:12.100 --> 00:15:13.100 I'm kidding. 308 00:15:13.100 --> 00:15:17.460 Anyways, part of it was that it shrunk and then it also, it wasn't like soft anymore. 309 00:15:17.460 --> 00:15:19.380 It got like all like those little like hairy beads, all over. 310 00:15:19.380 --> 00:15:20.580 It's like when you wash wool. 311 00:15:20.580 --> 00:15:23.820 And in the moment, it was an expensive flannel and I was kind of annoyed. 312 00:15:23.820 --> 00:15:27.560 And then I remembered the frame of the veteran and I was like, okay, what if every time I 313 00:15:27.560 --> 00:15:31.300 washed a flannel, it always became like this and every flannel I had was this way. 314 00:15:31.300 --> 00:15:32.500 And this is just how flannels were. 315 00:15:32.500 --> 00:15:33.500 What would I think? 316 00:15:33.500 --> 00:15:35.420 I was like, I wouldn't think this is a big deal. 317 00:15:35.420 --> 00:15:36.620 And just like that, it was gone. 318 00:15:36.620 --> 00:15:39.180 Something that would have been an annoyance just wasn't anymore. 319 00:15:39.180 --> 00:15:41.940 If like you're stuck in traffic and you're normally stuck in traffic, but every time in 320 00:15:41.940 --> 00:15:45.420 just hypothetical world, the frame of the veteran, every single time you got into a car, you 321 00:15:45.420 --> 00:15:46.420 would get stuck in traffic. 322 00:15:46.420 --> 00:15:47.420 Would you be bothered by it? 323 00:15:47.420 --> 00:15:48.420 Probably not. 324 00:15:48.420 --> 00:15:49.420 Why? 325 00:15:49.420 --> 00:15:50.420 Because you're accustomed to it. 326 00:15:50.420 --> 00:15:51.420 You expected it. 327 00:15:51.420 --> 00:15:54.380 And so what it means is we can basically retroactively alter our expectations and project 328 00:15:54.380 --> 00:15:59.300 a fictitious past onto our present so that we can alter how we respond to it. 329 00:15:59.300 --> 00:16:01.820 And so for me, the frame of the veteran has been very valuable. 330 00:16:01.820 --> 00:16:05.020 If you've been broken up with and it feels heartbreaking, but if you figured every single 331 00:16:05.020 --> 00:16:08.180 time you meet somebody you're going to have a heartbreak on the thousandth time, how 332 00:16:08.180 --> 00:16:09.180 would you feel? 333 00:16:09.180 --> 00:16:11.980 Probably not that big of a deal, which means it can be not that big of a deal right now 334 00:16:11.980 --> 00:16:13.780 if you choose for it not to be. 335 00:16:13.780 --> 00:16:19.620 So a lot of us wish that we don't have problems, but problems are constant and sometimes they 336 00:16:19.620 --> 00:16:25.380 are a sign of progress because if you solve a problem, then you create another problem. 337 00:16:25.380 --> 00:16:28.180 So if you solve your marketing problem, what do you create? 338 00:16:28.180 --> 00:16:29.180 A sales problem. 339 00:16:29.180 --> 00:16:31.580 If you solve your sales problem, what do you create? 340 00:16:31.580 --> 00:16:33.420 A customer success problem. 341 00:16:33.420 --> 00:16:37.220 And so it's called the never-ending cycle of problems and solutions. 342 00:16:37.220 --> 00:16:40.620 And so the idea is that we're wishing for something that will literally never happen. 343 00:16:40.620 --> 00:16:42.460 We want to live a problem for life. 344 00:16:42.460 --> 00:16:46.020 But instead, in my opinion, we should try to choose which problems would you prefer 345 00:16:46.020 --> 00:16:48.900 because there absolutely are better and worse problems. 346 00:16:48.900 --> 00:16:52.940 And so for us, let's just see if we can do better problems that we can solve. 347 00:16:52.940 --> 00:16:56.900 But wishing to eliminate problems is in and of itself something that will create a permanent 348 00:16:56.900 --> 00:16:57.900 problem in your life. 349 00:16:57.900 --> 00:17:01.060 So number eight, I think, is an exercise called a failure resume. 350 00:17:01.060 --> 00:17:03.620 And I'm going to make a separate about my failure resume. 351 00:17:03.620 --> 00:17:05.060 I'll share with you guys. 352 00:17:05.060 --> 00:17:08.540 But a lot of people like to make their resumes about their accomplishments. 353 00:17:08.540 --> 00:17:14.220 But what I think that does is it gives us an inflated mental image of ourselves. 354 00:17:14.220 --> 00:17:19.460 And so if you make yourself a failure resume, I think it creates the equal opposite situation, 355 00:17:19.460 --> 00:17:24.780 which is you're like, man, I have really messed up a lot of times over and over again. 356 00:17:24.780 --> 00:17:27.300 And there's a lot of valuable things you can take from that. 357 00:17:27.300 --> 00:17:31.740 Number one is that, and probably the most important, I am still here. 358 00:17:31.740 --> 00:17:36.060 And I think if there's one big takeaway from that, it's like, you have survived. 359 00:17:36.060 --> 00:17:41.060 And this actually leads to a frame in and of itself, which is, if it kills you, whatever 360 00:17:41.060 --> 00:17:44.340 this problem is, it won't matter because you'll be dead. 361 00:17:44.340 --> 00:17:47.300 And if it doesn't kill you, it means you can handle it. 362 00:17:47.300 --> 00:17:49.860 And so either way, you win. 363 00:17:49.860 --> 00:17:55.740 So when someone's like, I can't stand this, the statement in and of itself is self-conflicting. 364 00:17:55.740 --> 00:17:57.860 You can't stand it because you are standing it. 365 00:17:57.860 --> 00:18:01.820 You may be uncomfortable, but you are literally a living example of the fact that the statement 366 00:18:01.820 --> 00:18:03.020 was false. 367 00:18:03.020 --> 00:18:07.300 And if you truly can't stand it, you will die, in which case you won't need to stand it. 368 00:18:07.300 --> 00:18:11.180 So pretty much your default situation is standing, which I think is kind of cool. 369 00:18:11.180 --> 00:18:15.380 And so back to the failure resume, is that you're like, I am still here. 370 00:18:15.380 --> 00:18:19.820 Number two, none of those events, which fell like the end of the world, actually did end 371 00:18:19.820 --> 00:18:21.580 to my world because I am still here. 372 00:18:21.580 --> 00:18:26.020 Number three, if you have any measure of success in your life, which everyone does, you just 373 00:18:26.020 --> 00:18:29.740 have to change what you're measuring on, you are able to have all of that failure and 374 00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:33.700 still have a level of success, which in some ways I think is like a little bit of a sense 375 00:18:33.700 --> 00:18:34.700 of humor. 376 00:18:34.700 --> 00:18:38.580 Like you can be like, wow, I'm so done, I can't believe I did all these things, I can't 377 00:18:38.580 --> 00:18:39.900 believe I'm still here. 378 00:18:39.900 --> 00:18:44.580 And I think what it does is rather than talk about all your accomplishments and set yourself 379 00:18:44.580 --> 00:18:49.540 up for a big ego failure, basically sit from the exact opposite, which is like, I can't 380 00:18:49.540 --> 00:18:51.340 even believe him here. 381 00:18:51.340 --> 00:18:52.580 What a win. 382 00:18:52.580 --> 00:18:55.820 And the rest of this is all gravy. 383 00:18:55.820 --> 00:19:00.140 And again, I am not saying that every one of the frames that I just gave you are things 384 00:19:00.140 --> 00:19:03.900 that I always have operating at every single hour of every day. 385 00:19:03.900 --> 00:19:08.100 But they are tools that I deploy when I am feeling not as good. 386 00:19:08.100 --> 00:19:12.780 And if you want my two cents, so here's my number nine, I believe that the only real 387 00:19:12.780 --> 00:19:17.140 legacy is leaving the human race better than you found it. 388 00:19:17.140 --> 00:19:20.180 Not because they will remember you because they won't. 389 00:19:20.180 --> 00:19:22.740 And even if they did, why do we care about the approval of people who haven't even 390 00:19:22.740 --> 00:19:23.740 alive yet? 391 00:19:23.740 --> 00:19:25.740 Fun fact. 392 00:19:25.740 --> 00:19:29.140 You can't say that you don't care about the opinion of others. 393 00:19:29.140 --> 00:19:33.060 And yet, care a lot about what people who aren't even alive yet will think about you 394 00:19:33.060 --> 00:19:34.620 while you are dead. 395 00:19:34.620 --> 00:19:40.060 So I see education as the ultimate legacy, as the ultimate thing that we can pass on. 396 00:19:40.060 --> 00:19:45.780 And so that is the reason that I've dedicated my life to doing that and passing on whatever 397 00:19:45.780 --> 00:19:49.380 learnings that I have, because I feel like if all of us accumulate knowledge, which we 398 00:19:49.380 --> 00:19:51.540 all do in some settings. 399 00:19:51.540 --> 00:19:55.660 If we don't package that and pass it on to the next generation, that, in my opinion, 400 00:19:55.660 --> 00:19:57.220 is a waste of life. 401 00:19:57.220 --> 00:20:00.900 Because everything that we have right now, the cameras that you're, you know, that this 402 00:20:00.900 --> 00:20:04.060 is being recorded on the phone or the screen that you're watching this on or whatever you're 403 00:20:04.060 --> 00:20:08.220 listening to this, like there are many past humans who live their entire lives to make 404 00:20:08.220 --> 00:20:13.460 one advancement that other humans picked that baton up and moved the ball forward. 405 00:20:13.460 --> 00:20:17.740 Many people who are faceless and nameless to us today, but have made our lives better. 406 00:20:17.740 --> 00:20:22.900 And to me, that is a purpose that for me inspires me to continue to want to work, even though 407 00:20:22.900 --> 00:20:24.540 I know they will not remember my name. 408 00:20:24.540 --> 00:20:29.980 And in many ways, because they don't remember my name or won't remember my name, it actually 409 00:20:29.980 --> 00:20:36.220 adds a lot of levity to my life, because nothing is that big of a deal until I die. 410 00:20:36.220 --> 00:20:39.540 And when I die, it won't matter, because I won't have to deal with it anyways. 411 00:20:39.540 --> 00:20:46.540 So the TLDR is that no one will remember you, and that's okay.