WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.240
Everyone, good morning. Happy Friday. As my team says, happy Saturday, junior.

2
00:00:07.600 --> 00:00:12.320
If you're wondering where my mustache is, I'm letting it recharge before the event that's

3
00:00:12.320 --> 00:00:17.280
coming up for our gym or something. So I'll just take them. I'm going to find it but luckily

4
00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:23.040
because I'm at least going to find it real fast. So I'll be back in a few days. But I wanted to

5
00:00:23.680 --> 00:00:29.920
just tell you three stories that won't make you any money but may dramatically improve your

6
00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:36.000
quality of life. And it was the lesson that I learned when I was 19 years old and it's

7
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:42.720
served me really well up to this point. And so I'll give you the basic background. I was 19. I had

8
00:00:42.720 --> 00:00:48.960
been dating a girl pretty seriously for two years and I'd split up with her and my best friend

9
00:00:49.120 --> 00:00:56.400
had been hanging out with us all the time. And as you might imagine, they ended up getting together

10
00:00:56.400 --> 00:01:01.520
afterwards. And I remember finding out because somebody had seen them and they, you know,

11
00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:07.040
that guy was like, dude, this is so messed up. I just had to tell you. And I remember I didn't

12
00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:12.480
sleep for like three days but I felt so heartbroken and so betrayed by my best friend. And so

13
00:01:13.360 --> 00:01:20.720
no longer is your best friend. And I remember I literally couldn't sleep for three days because I had

14
00:01:20.720 --> 00:01:27.120
so much like white hot rage. I was so angry. And I learned so much and I was so thankful that it

15
00:01:27.120 --> 00:01:31.760
happened because the first thing that flares up if you ever have anything that comes actually

16
00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:36.960
is your ego, right? And that's rage. It's pride, right? And then what happened after that in order

17
00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:43.440
like for me to like come down from this huge like rage, rage mountain, right? Was I was googling

18
00:01:43.440 --> 00:01:48.320
like how to forgive people? Like I couldn't sleep. I was like, googling, right? And I came on this

19
00:01:48.320 --> 00:01:52.800
coat, which is in the post, it's to understand each to forgive. And that's my pascal. It was a

20
00:01:52.800 --> 00:01:57.280
critical, it was a, you know, amazing mathematician in the Olympics, a pascal triangle, but it was also

21
00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:02.960
a Christian deology. And for some reason, that was the one that stuck out to me and I didn't know

22
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:11.040
what to do. So I actually wrote a love story from the perspective of my ex best friend and his

23
00:02:11.040 --> 00:02:18.560
now relationship with my ex girlfriend. And I tried to see how he would write the story of his own

24
00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:25.680
love for her from afar and how, you know, whatever that dynamic would have looked like for him

25
00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:30.320
in having this, this, this love that he couldn't act on and then finally being able to do that

26
00:02:30.320 --> 00:02:33.760
and appreciate her in whatever way that he believed was, you know, necessary or whatever.

27
00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:41.120
And I tried to write that story and, you know, and I really dug into like how he was raised in his

28
00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:45.520
relationship with his dad, his mom, the things that had led into, you know, making him believe he

29
00:02:45.520 --> 00:02:52.080
was in the values that now he now had as a result of that. And after I finished the story, like,

30
00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:56.880
I mean, it was truly like a story that I wrote out. I used to be a little bit more. I used to be,

31
00:02:56.880 --> 00:03:01.920
I was the editor of the newspaper and the literary magazine when I was high school. And so I

32
00:03:01.920 --> 00:03:08.080
used to be a little bit more literate than I am now. But anyway, so I wrote this story and like,

33
00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:14.880
finally, after finishing it, I was able to sleep because I felt like I understood. And so I

34
00:03:14.880 --> 00:03:20.400
take that story because I had a couple of things to one really easy thing that you can apply

35
00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:28.480
to one bigger thing. So the bigger thing is that I had a franchise or, I think, make some skating

36
00:03:28.480 --> 00:03:34.480
video about us. And, you know, and it's always, and the thing is the more, like, more times you go

37
00:03:34.480 --> 00:03:40.400
up the range mountain, the faster you recognize it and the faster you come back down and then kind

38
00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:46.080
of appreciate it. And so I looked at, and so this is just like something that's helped me a lot

39
00:03:46.160 --> 00:03:55.680
in my life is, I was like, what would cause that person, what upbringing, what relationships,

40
00:03:55.680 --> 00:04:02.880
what deficiencies and insecurities, what holes we're trying to fill would create the necessity

41
00:04:02.880 --> 00:04:08.640
to act in this way, right? And then what happens is you start to really uncover the fact that

42
00:04:08.640 --> 00:04:14.240
somebody might be just not cold, you know what I mean, or have like significant deficits in their

43
00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:19.040
life and the love that they might have received from even their wife, their significant others,

44
00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:24.000
their parents, whatever the people who form them that created these souls. And sometimes

45
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:28.240
ultra successful people have massive holes that they're trying to fill, right? And so I try

46
00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:32.800
to think about that. And then what happens is I get like this overwhelming amount of empathy

47
00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:40.400
and sadness for that person and then my anger disappears. And it's something that's really

48
00:04:40.400 --> 00:04:45.200
served me well throughout my life. And here's a, those are like the big, you know, big, big, big

49
00:04:45.200 --> 00:04:50.960
examples, right? But, but the other day I was at the gym and I was just, you know, I was doing

50
00:04:50.960 --> 00:04:55.360
leg presses. And I put bands on my leg presses so that it's harder at the top and easier at the

51
00:04:55.360 --> 00:05:00.400
bottom. I know this is really detail, but so it gets harder as you get stronger. So it's an

52
00:05:00.400 --> 00:05:04.800
accommodating strength. So you get, you just basically your legs get bigger and stronger faster.

53
00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:11.840
And this, this personal trainer comes up to me and I'm like headphones on like just like

54
00:05:11.840 --> 00:05:17.520
panting between my sets. And this personal trainer comes up to me. He's probably 65, 60,

55
00:05:17.520 --> 00:05:24.000
years old. And he's wearing his zip up hooks to here. He's probably about 30, soaking wet.

56
00:05:25.840 --> 00:05:30.320
And he's wearing the finger toe shoes you guys know I'm talking about. And he's one of the guys

57
00:05:30.320 --> 00:05:34.480
who like wants to talk about like angles of rotation and like 13 degrees and like the

58
00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:38.320
promises change by all the ball, right? But it doesn't even look like he, like, looks like it.

59
00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:44.720
Hey guys, real quick. If you're new to the podcast, I have a book on Amazon called

60
00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:49.040
100 million dollar offers that over 8,000 five star reviews and it has almost a perfect score.

61
00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:52.800
You can get it for 99 cents on Kindle. The reason I bring it up is that I put over a thousand

62
00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:57.600
hours into writing that book and it's my biggest gift for our community. So it's my very shameless

63
00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:02.640
way of trying to get you to like me more and ultimately make more dollars to that later on in your

64
00:06:02.640 --> 00:06:08.080
business career. I can finish the part. So that's my give. Go check it out. Amazon and back to the show.

65
00:06:11.280 --> 00:06:16.240
And he was like, Hey man, you know, you can fool around your band as much as you want.

66
00:06:17.200 --> 00:06:22.000
But if you really want to work the bottom of the movement, you know, just take them off

67
00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:26.560
and then really just, you know, do a wait that you can do there. And he had this client with him

68
00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:32.640
who is some 55-year-old woman who's had a shape behind him. And there was this moment in me that

69
00:06:32.640 --> 00:06:36.560
was about to just like absolutely put him in his place for just not knowing anything about what he's

70
00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:42.480
talking about. And so I had to like, that's a deep breath. And I was like, thanks for that advice,

71
00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:49.600
man. Like have a great day. And I put my headphones back on and I started like, you know, it's like

72
00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:53.200
and these emotions start coming right and you start thinking like, okay, okay, okay. And then I

73
00:06:53.200 --> 00:06:57.600
realized that like for him in that little world, I don't know what's led to him for, you know,

74
00:06:57.600 --> 00:07:03.520
being 65 years old and working at goals as a personal trainer. But that's his reality. You know what I mean?

75
00:07:03.520 --> 00:07:07.280
And so I thought to myself like, this might have been a moment where he was able to feel really

76
00:07:07.280 --> 00:07:13.520
significant. And he was able to, you know, gain a lot from this interaction. And the thing is,

77
00:07:13.520 --> 00:07:20.560
if I go over there and I am and I just totally just, you know, destroy him really in front of his

78
00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:25.440
client, right? It'll make me feel good, maybe, but then I'm the type of person who does that.

79
00:07:25.440 --> 00:07:29.440
And then I also have to think like, okay, well, then how's this going to affect him, right? Like he

80
00:07:29.440 --> 00:07:35.600
needs this woman to, to like feed himself, right? I mean, he's there at six o'clock in the morning

81
00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:40.800
at goals training of, you know, if it's five or a lady, you know, whatever. And so he, like he needs

82
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:46.640
that and or like, I don't need that. And so it was like, who needs this more? Who need the interaction

83
00:07:46.640 --> 00:07:50.880
more? And so I thought about it and I was like, he needed that interaction. And so I'm glad that

84
00:07:50.880 --> 00:07:56.800
it was me that he was able to say that to rather than someone who might wash out. And then like,

85
00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:03.360
otherwise embarrassed in front of his client. And so that was, that was kind of a conclusion there.

86
00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:08.080
And so I just, I share that with you because maybe somebody collects you at the gym. I mean,

87
00:08:08.080 --> 00:08:11.760
I had, I have like this beautiful speech that I've already like pre-recorded in my head of exactly

88
00:08:11.760 --> 00:08:17.680
what I would tell them, which, you know, I did, I reported in my head during the next three sets

89
00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:22.880
and I got great sets. But, but anyways, so I don't know if this, if this applies to anyone.

90
00:08:23.600 --> 00:08:29.520
But I think if you're ever like super angry or super like raged up, I try and think like,

91
00:08:30.400 --> 00:08:34.320
how can I understand in this person? Because I don't think most people have an intention that's

92
00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:40.240
evil. I don't think that. I think that they're doing what they believe in their own narrative to be

93
00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:45.440
best, whether or not that's absolute truth or not is irrelevant for the, for our emotions.

94
00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:51.920
And, and maybe sometimes it, if you slow down for a second, I think like, huh, I wonder what

95
00:08:51.920 --> 00:08:57.440
will create that action will create that person. You know, feeling a lot better about it. And you

96
00:08:57.440 --> 00:09:03.120
don't feel this need to lash back out. And then it kind of turns into this weird gratitude of like,

97
00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:06.880
I'm glad I got to be me instead of someone who might have put that guy, you know what I mean? Or

98
00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:12.960
I'm glad I got to be me instead of, you know, and I mean, just, all right, I'm going to go a little

99
00:09:12.960 --> 00:09:18.640
bit even further with this. So there's another part of you that's like, how come I'm doing this?

100
00:09:18.640 --> 00:09:23.360
Why do I deserve this? Why did someone lash out at me? Why did someone make a, you know, a skating

101
00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:29.120
thing about us or whatever, right? And then I'm like, what ignorance? You know what I mean? What

102
00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:34.160
self-centeredness to think that like, we don't, you know, like, come on, like Jesus, right? So

103
00:09:34.160 --> 00:09:39.840
whether you're a believer or not, most people can agree that he was a really good guy, right? So

104
00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:44.480
like arguably one of the best guys who ever lived, right? If you're, if you're not, you know, a believer.

105
00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:50.800
And he was like beaten in the street spat on and then crucified. And so it's like, if we feel like

106
00:09:50.800 --> 00:09:56.000
we're not going to encounter people who are going to take strong like positions against us,

107
00:09:56.000 --> 00:10:01.200
then we're probably not doing anything great, right? And so I think what we need to look at is also

108
00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:05.680
like what type of person is standing against you? And think like, is that the right type of person?

109
00:10:05.680 --> 00:10:09.920
You know what I mean? If I have all these people who are like really godly and like, you know,

110
00:10:09.920 --> 00:10:14.800
I mean, at least in my own perception of like how I see things like people who have like great

111
00:10:14.800 --> 00:10:18.400
morals or standing against me, then I might think, huh, I might have to take a look. I need to check

112
00:10:18.400 --> 00:10:23.200
myself. But on the flip side, if I have a whole bunch of people who have like horrible reputations

113
00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:28.160
about being like, you know, liars and cheats and just like totally like mistreating the

114
00:10:28.240 --> 00:10:34.480
customers and things like that, who stand against me like, I'm cool with that. So anyways,

115
00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:38.240
hope this spoke to somebody and maybe somebody had some stuff that was going on.

116
00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:45.280
But have an amazing Friday, guys. Maybe don't elbow jab somebody in the throat for

117
00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:50.160
cutting you off in traffic and taking a couple breaths and see if you understand,

118
00:10:50.160 --> 00:11:02.640
and then you can forget. So anyways, lots of love, guys. And I'll talk to you soon.