WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.400 If you've ever not gotten the deal or you've ever not had someone believe in you, 2 00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:08.160 you've been doubted because of the way you look, how old you are, how young you are, 3 00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:11.440 what gender you are, where you're born, where you're not born, the way you dress, 4 00:00:11.440 --> 00:00:15.440 the way you look, the way you talk. Then the question isn't whether that bias is true 5 00:00:15.440 --> 00:00:19.200 because it may absolutely be true. But the question is, what do we do about it anyways? 6 00:00:19.200 --> 00:00:22.720 And how can we confront the other alternative reality that might be true, which is, 7 00:00:22.720 --> 00:00:28.000 what if you're just not good enough? Now what? There was a lady who made a post and she said, 8 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:35.680 I quit my job to start doing this because my boss didn't respect me because I was a woman. 9 00:00:36.320 --> 00:00:42.880 And so because of that, I quit my job to start doing this. And I had this immediate thought in 10 00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:50.960 my head, what if you're just not good enough? That was the thought that came through my mind 11 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:59.280 when I read that message. And it got me fired up because the amount of times in my life that I've 12 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:07.760 seen this victimized mentality hurt people is far more than it has ever helped. And so the reason I 13 00:01:07.760 --> 00:01:12.000 want to talk about this is because it applies to employees and applies to business owners. And I 14 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:16.080 have so many stories of this that I want to drive through this and then I want to drive to the 15 00:01:16.080 --> 00:01:23.280 two natural conclusions that end up coming from logic. And so this is the same thing as the kid who 16 00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:28.160 says, Hey, I started this marketing agency and I've got these services and I'm trying to get these 17 00:01:28.160 --> 00:01:31.920 business owners. And they're saying, well, they're not buying for me because I'm a kid. I'm too 18 00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:37.440 young. I had a family member who had a restaurant and he opened it up in the wrong part of town. 19 00:01:37.440 --> 00:01:41.280 And he was like, well, my restaurant is not working because people don't want to come to this 20 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:47.040 out of the neighborhood. They buy us against this out of the neighborhood. And I'll give you 21 00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:52.880 another one, which was Jacob, who was my neighbor, my little 15 year old neighbor from way back when 22 00:01:52.880 --> 00:01:59.200 when I walked in on him trying to sell a wholesale deal. And he got off the phone. He'd been trying 23 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:02.960 to sell wholesale deals for a month because he read some stuff on the internet watching me 24 00:02:02.960 --> 00:02:09.600 two videos. And I was like, so how's it work? And he was like, well, no one's really buying yet. 25 00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:14.640 And I could tell that on some level, it was because he thought that he was too young and people 26 00:02:14.640 --> 00:02:20.160 aren't taking him seriously. So one of our portfolio companies had two people who weren't a conflict. 27 00:02:20.160 --> 00:02:25.680 All right. So there's a white guy and a black guy and they were peers. And they had to work 28 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:30.160 together and they didn't like each other. And so finally, we had to be like, y'all need to get 29 00:02:30.160 --> 00:02:35.840 along and figure it out. And so the white guy sends the black guy a song and it's his like way of 30 00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:43.520 of trying to make amends. And the song was a rap song. And it had some lyrics in it that offended 31 00:02:43.520 --> 00:02:48.800 the black guy. And he said, you know, this is not racially sensitive, blah, blah, blah, blah. 32 00:02:49.760 --> 00:02:57.520 And he then asked for the white guy to go through racial sensitivity training. And here's where this 33 00:02:57.520 --> 00:03:03.520 gets interesting. The black guy is married to a white girl and has mixed kids. And the white guy 34 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:09.440 is married to a black girl and has mixed kids. Do you think he fucking needs racial sensitivity 35 00:03:09.440 --> 00:03:15.200 training? No. He just doesn't like you for the content of your character. And so there's a very 36 00:03:15.200 --> 00:03:19.120 significant possibility that it might not be because you're too young. It might not be because 37 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:22.480 you're black. It might not be because you're a woman. It might not be because you're a Republican. 38 00:03:22.480 --> 00:03:25.920 It might not be because you're a Democrat. It might not be because you're trained. You just might 39 00:03:25.920 --> 00:03:31.200 not be good enough. And the thing is is that even if you're right, even if there is a fucking bias 40 00:03:31.200 --> 00:03:35.520 because biases will exist, I'm not even going to deny that they absolutely exist. And they 41 00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:39.760 will always exist. And the reason they will always exist is because this is how human beings 42 00:03:39.760 --> 00:03:45.840 learn. You learn and you create judgments to wish for a world that doesn't create bias wishes 43 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:51.520 for a world where humans don't learn. If you go and you're a waitress and you serve a table and 44 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:56.320 it's all people with red faces and those red faces leave you zero tip. And then you go to a 45 00:03:56.320 --> 00:04:00.560 table with green faces and the green faces leave you a big tip. And then you do that again and 46 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:04.160 again and the red faces leave you lower tips. Then the green faces and the green faces leave you 47 00:04:04.160 --> 00:04:09.040 big tips. What will you do? You will begin to expect that red faces leave you no tip and green 48 00:04:09.040 --> 00:04:14.720 faces leave you big tip. Now replace red and green with tall white Asian woman. Whatever the 49 00:04:14.720 --> 00:04:18.640 point is that people will learn. And as long as there are stereotypes that exist because people 50 00:04:18.640 --> 00:04:23.680 do behave in a certain way, then people are going to learn those things. Period. But the thing is 51 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:29.360 is let's say you're a red face and you do tip well. And you hate the fact that when you walk to a 52 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:35.040 place, they don't treat you a certain way. Right? And the thing is is that biases exist everywhere. 53 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:41.680 And I want to be clear here. When I got into the gym space, I was young. I was so young looking 54 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:47.680 that I knew no one took me seriously. And so I lied about being the owner. I lied. So when people 55 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:52.320 came in, I just said, I'm the owner and I worked out a deal that I would potentially earn in my 56 00:04:52.320 --> 00:04:55.920 ownership. So I had this whole backstory that I made up in the beginning because I looked so 57 00:04:55.920 --> 00:05:01.920 young that no one would believe that I was the owner on the gym. And so I'm saying this because I 58 00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:07.360 get it. And to be fair, I look the way I look. If I have a tank top on, like we moved into a very 59 00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:13.600 nice penthouse, my neighbors immediately complained about me. He literally sent to the email to the front 60 00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:17.920 desk of the building and said, is what is this Beverly Hillbillies who moved in next to us? 61 00:05:18.640 --> 00:05:23.680 I'm not kidding. And so the thing is is that, I mean, I thought it was fucking hilarious. I 62 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:27.040 died. I thought it was great. But the thing is to say, what does that mean? He is a bias against 63 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:32.960 people who look like me, right? Who wear wife beaters and walk around like that on a regular basis. 64 00:05:32.960 --> 00:05:39.200 And he thinks, wow, this guy, I've had negative experiences with people like him. And so the thing 65 00:05:39.200 --> 00:05:47.600 is is I have a friend from college way back one black guy. And he hated that there was a stereotype 66 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:54.400 that black people don't tip. He hated it. And so rather than try and say, this is unfair. The world 67 00:05:54.400 --> 00:06:00.800 is unfair. This bias exists. You know what he did? He was always really nice. And he always overtipped. 68 00:06:01.440 --> 00:06:06.880 That was what he did. He overtipped. Because the thing is that, let's play out the scenarios. 69 00:06:06.880 --> 00:06:11.040 You bitch and moan. And you say, you know what? This person didn't buy because I'm young. 70 00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:14.400 This person didn't buy because I'm a woman. This person didn't buy because of whatever. 71 00:06:14.400 --> 00:06:18.480 And the thing is is, let's say you do some empirical study and you prove it right. 72 00:06:19.840 --> 00:06:26.320 Now what? Great. You prove that you have a disadvantage. Okay. Again. Now what? Hey, if you want to get 73 00:06:26.320 --> 00:06:30.720 around people who are actually winning, who look like you, who smell like you, who talk like you, 74 00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:34.800 and are doing what you want to do, I'd like to invite you to the school games community at school.com. 75 00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:39.760 Fort slash games. I take calls in there. I put content that's like this and more personalized 76 00:06:39.760 --> 00:06:43.680 inside of that community. And I drop a huge amount. Uh, once a month and eight hour training 77 00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:48.480 on how to actually take this stuff and win anyways. And so if that's entering school.com, 78 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:54.000 Fort slash games, see in there. The thing is, is that arguing for, for proving a bias is good 79 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:58.800 for society, bad for the individual. And as far as we're concerned, this is a single player game, 80 00:06:59.520 --> 00:07:04.480 life. And so we've got to go through it with the assumption that nothing's going to change. 81 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:07.280 And what are we going to do about it anyways? Because no one gets better by feeling sorry for 82 00:07:07.280 --> 00:07:12.720 themselves. No single person has ever gotten better by proving that they were the victim of something 83 00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:17.680 ever. And so whether you're an employee and you're getting, you feel like you're getting passed 84 00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:21.760 up for the promotion and the amount of times that we get this to like, I'm a business owner. 85 00:07:21.760 --> 00:07:25.760 We have a lot of businesses. We have a lot of employees. And the thing is, is that if someone gets 86 00:07:25.760 --> 00:07:33.760 passed up, maybe there is a bias because biases will always exist. But the only thing you can do 87 00:07:33.760 --> 00:07:40.880 is be better than the bias. You have to be better than the bias. You have to be so fucking good 88 00:07:40.880 --> 00:07:45.520 that you have to be, you have to overcompensate. He didn't tip normally. He tip more than normal 89 00:07:45.520 --> 00:07:51.360 so that he could be one, one light on the bad dots that he felt that the people who had served him 90 00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:56.960 in the past had experience. And so to give you a, a story that I had with Jacob, so he was the young 91 00:07:56.960 --> 00:08:01.760 kid, he sounded like a child on the phone. And the reason they weren't buying the deals from him 92 00:08:01.760 --> 00:08:05.760 is because he sounded like a fucking child on the phone. And the thing is, is that what if they're 93 00:08:05.760 --> 00:08:10.880 right? And I think this is where people get even more offended. It's like, what if the bias that you 94 00:08:10.880 --> 00:08:15.600 have, what if, what if, what if the bias that you've, you've experienced against, what if it's true? 95 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:24.160 And this is where people get, what if I do act like a hillbilly? What if, what if I did act 96 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:32.160 immature? Because I was young. Now what? And so the thing is, is that, one, if you prove that 97 00:08:32.160 --> 00:08:36.240 there's a bias, again, so what? Now you've proven that there's a bias, your life's not any better. 98 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:42.640 Version two, what if they're right? So one, you're proving that there's a bias and you don't act 99 00:08:42.640 --> 00:08:48.080 that way. The next, the next vein of thinking is what if, what if they're right about it? What if 100 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:53.360 you just, you are exactly the stereotype? What if I am immature? What if I don't show up on time? 101 00:08:53.360 --> 00:08:56.720 What if I am emotional because I'm, because I act like a child because I haven't matured yet, 102 00:08:56.720 --> 00:09:01.280 because I haven't enough experience in life? Now what if I'm not consistent because I haven't 103 00:09:01.280 --> 00:09:06.880 learned that skill yet, which most more young people have that than old people? Old people are 104 00:09:06.880 --> 00:09:12.160 notoriously consistent. They love their routines. How many 80-year-olds do you know don't have routines? 105 00:09:12.160 --> 00:09:18.240 Hard to not have one when you're 80, right? You have to break the stereotypes of old people by, 106 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:23.440 by being spontaneous, right? And so the thing is, it's like these stereotypes exist because bias 107 00:09:23.440 --> 00:09:27.280 does exist because we're going to always learn, we're always going to make judgments. But it comes 108 00:09:27.280 --> 00:09:32.960 down to whether your restaurants on the wrong side of the street, whether you have a red face or 109 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:37.840 a green face or your short, and girls don't like short guys. Okay, if you believe the bias, 110 00:09:38.880 --> 00:09:46.320 then you make it true. You make it real. You give it more power rather than less. And so I look like 111 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:51.760 this. I look probably, in terms of like my look, I probably look right-leaning. I probably look a 112 00:09:51.760 --> 00:09:56.800 little bit hillbilly-ish. If I take, if I put the wifebeater on, then I definitely look dumber 113 00:09:56.800 --> 00:10:02.000 in general. I mean, when I had my gym, people, I had many people ask me if I was literate, 114 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:07.840 but as soon as I opened my mouth, it became apparent that I was educated. And so the thing is, 115 00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:14.800 and here's my silver lining for this, is that if you have a bias, you actually have the opportunity 116 00:10:14.800 --> 00:10:21.360 to stand out even more by being against it. If a green face tips more than a red, like, 117 00:10:21.360 --> 00:10:26.480 then it just tips a lot, then it's like, well, I expected a green face to tip more. But if a red 118 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:32.800 face tips a lot, you're like, whoa, I noticed that. If a guy in a suit sounds literate and sounds 119 00:10:32.800 --> 00:10:39.280 educated, you're not really surprised there because it's what you expected. But if a jack guy in 120 00:10:39.360 --> 00:10:47.120 a beater who looks like a hick and maybe doesn't have hillbilly views of the world, isn't a racist 121 00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:52.160 might have a more articulate way of expressing things, then all of a sudden you pause, and that 122 00:10:52.160 --> 00:10:58.160 person becomes more interesting. They start to break the bias. They start to be better than the bias. 123 00:10:58.160 --> 00:11:03.520 You start to create a category that's separate for that individual. So there are many red faces, 124 00:11:03.520 --> 00:11:10.640 but this one is John, and John's cool. John tips well. The thing is, is that I think all of us 125 00:11:10.640 --> 00:11:16.880 have the opportunity to be John or Sarah, who is a red face who there are biases that exist. 126 00:11:18.080 --> 00:11:22.800 But we can be better than the bias, and I love this quote from Andy for sell. It's so good. I 127 00:11:22.800 --> 00:11:28.480 fucking wish it were mine. I said, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion, and I just 128 00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:33.920 fucking love that. And so the question is always, what are you going to do about it? Proving that 129 00:11:33.920 --> 00:11:39.200 it exists does nothing. You just prove that there's, you have a disadvantage. Okay, we all have 130 00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:45.680 disadvantages in some way to some person. Like if I go into a place that has had a lot of guys 131 00:11:45.680 --> 00:11:50.400 in flannels who said racist things to them, as soon as I walk in the room, there's going to be a bias 132 00:11:50.400 --> 00:11:57.840 against me. They're not going to like me by right at the onset. And so what can I do? You can play 133 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:03.600 into the bias. I can complain that there's a bias, or I can overcompensate. I can tip more than 134 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:08.240 anyone normally does. I can be more kind, more understanding, more literate. I can work harder. 135 00:12:08.800 --> 00:12:14.160 And so I'm going to wrap this to Jacob, because I'll tell you the story. Obviously, I said, 136 00:12:14.160 --> 00:12:17.760 listen, I think you suck at sales. I think it has nothing to do with the fact that you're young. 137 00:12:17.760 --> 00:12:20.800 And so you got to learn, and he's like, well, how do I learn? And it's like, well, you got to do 138 00:12:20.800 --> 00:12:24.240 more than everybody else. And I'm going to give you the advice that I told him, and I would say that 139 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:27.600 he says it's changed his life. And so I will share it with you. And this goes for the employees. 140 00:12:27.600 --> 00:12:33.440 This also goes for the business owners. It works for everyone, which is, I said, volume negates luck. 141 00:12:34.880 --> 00:12:40.640 I said, if you want to be the best, find the best guy in my company. So I got him an interview. I 142 00:12:40.640 --> 00:12:43.440 said, I will not get you the job. I said, I'm itchy an interview because the guy who's going to be 143 00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:47.520 hiring you, I was like, it's up to him. And he's got 10 other guys. He's interviewing. And so he 144 00:12:47.520 --> 00:12:51.360 decided to give him the job. He gave him a shot, right? That's, I mean, at gym lunch and sales, 145 00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:54.880 like getting a job is getting a shot. That's all it is. You still got to work your leads. You 146 00:12:54.880 --> 00:12:59.440 still got to go generate, you got to generate sales. And so he got on the phones and I said, go find 147 00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:04.160 the best guy. Look at what he does and do twice as much because you have to do twice as much because 148 00:13:04.160 --> 00:13:07.280 he's better than you. You can't do as much as the best guy because he's always just going to get 149 00:13:07.280 --> 00:13:11.760 ahead. You have to do what he's doing. And another full days work so that you can start catching up. 150 00:13:11.760 --> 00:13:15.920 And so we started doing twice as much as what the best guy was doing. And so over time, 151 00:13:15.920 --> 00:13:20.560 he became the best guy on the outbound team. And then he became, and then he moved up to the middle 152 00:13:20.560 --> 00:13:24.400 sales team and became the best guy on the qualification team, which is the second, the second 153 00:13:24.400 --> 00:13:28.400 highest level of sales guys that we have. And then from there being the best guy. And here's the 154 00:13:28.400 --> 00:13:34.560 thing. Here's the fucking thing because he was so young. He's 18 years old, 18 years old. 155 00:13:35.280 --> 00:13:39.760 All the guys who were my closures were all men with families. Like they were professionals. 156 00:13:39.760 --> 00:13:45.360 It was a strong team. Still a strong team. And the sales manager, a man with a family, 157 00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:50.240 said he was hesitant. He had a bias against him because he was young. 158 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:56.240 He said, listen, I'm not going to just let you on the team. Now he had objectively had better 159 00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:01.200 stats as a setter. And anybody who had been 30 years old with a family would have absolutely 160 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:06.320 gotten put on the closer team. But he said, I want you to go self-generate end to end, 161 00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:10.640 click to close. You go find someone in the fucking world, bring them all the way and close them 162 00:14:10.640 --> 00:14:14.640 yourself before I let you on the closing team. He had never asked anyone else to do that. And so we 163 00:14:14.640 --> 00:14:20.240 did. After he did one, he was like, I need to do another one to make sure it wasn't a fluke. 164 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:24.720 So he did another one. And he said, you know what? Just because I want the team to be really 165 00:14:24.720 --> 00:14:31.360 sure because you're young and he had the bias of, oh, Alex knows you. So you're getting special 166 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:37.360 treatment because Alex knows you. You're the you're the friend of the bosses, right? And so he's 167 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:41.280 like, you got to do another one. So he had to do another one. And then when he got on the team, 168 00:14:41.760 --> 00:14:46.480 where did he start? Low man. Low man on the tone. Well, he was young. And he had the bias of, 169 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:51.440 oh, your boss is pet, right? He had to have both of these biases against him because nobody 170 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:56.480 likes that guy, right? And I told him that I said, they're going to not like it because you're young 171 00:14:56.480 --> 00:15:00.640 and they're not going to like you because they know you know me. And I was like, you need to leave 172 00:15:00.640 --> 00:15:05.840 no fucking room for doubt that you earned it. I was like, and so you're going to be left of center. 173 00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:09.600 You're going to start six feet underground before you can get your head over. I was like, that's 174 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:14.800 what it is. And I was like, either you can bitch in moan about it and you can lose and be right 175 00:15:14.800 --> 00:15:19.760 and be right about the fact that you're going to have a bias against you or you can win, win anyways. 176 00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:29.600 And so what did he do? He became the top performing sales rep with all the grown-ass men and their families. 177 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:34.160 Was their bias? Yes. Did he have to do more to get on the team? Yes. Did he have to prove 178 00:15:34.240 --> 00:15:40.800 himself in ways that no one else had to? Yes. And so if you're in that position and you feel like you 179 00:15:40.800 --> 00:15:44.960 have this bias against you, here's what I would ask if you're an employee. And this is what I would 180 00:15:44.960 --> 00:15:51.440 encourage the business owners who are listening to this. Ask this question, what would it take? 181 00:15:52.160 --> 00:15:56.800 What would it take for me to get on the team? What would it take for me to be the manager? 182 00:15:56.800 --> 00:16:00.160 What would it take for me to be the director? What would it take for me to get a raise? What would 183 00:16:00.160 --> 00:16:03.840 it take for me to get a promotion if I'm the business owner trying to get the deal? What would it 184 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:08.640 take for us to do business together? What would it take for you to say yes? What would I have to do 185 00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:13.520 objectively? I get that you've got some you've got hesitation. I understand that I'm young. 186 00:16:13.520 --> 00:16:17.200 I understand that I got in here because I had some other guy who tapped somebody else's 187 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:21.840 shoulder and got me an interview day one. I get that. I understand that. So what would it take? 188 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:26.640 Let me compensate. Let me not just tip normal. I'm not going to tip 20% because other people who 189 00:16:26.640 --> 00:16:32.880 look like me don't tip 20. I was like, I'll tip 100. Just tell me what would it take to change your 190 00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:38.560 mind? What would it take for me to not look like a hick or for you to not think that I'm completely 191 00:16:38.560 --> 00:16:44.720 illiterate or uneducated? What would it take? No one benefits from the excuse. You hurt you more 192 00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:50.480 by accepting that the excuse is real because what the excuse of saying that there is bias and that 193 00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:55.120 the bias is the reason that you have not moved forward is that it gives you an excuse for not succeeding. 194 00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:02.240 It's all it does. It gives you a nice warm blink to say I'm not winning but this is the reason why 195 00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:07.280 because the alternative reason of saying I'm just not good enough hurts your ego. 196 00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:14.240 And to be clear, I am not saying that bias doesn't it absolutely exists but we have to live in a 197 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:19.760 world that it does exist and win anyways. And so I'll show you I'll show you a note that I leave 198 00:17:19.760 --> 00:17:27.920 myself because I get in the same everybody has got shit and so I'll show you what the background 199 00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:34.400 on my phone is right now because this is the season I'm in. You can see that it says just win. 200 00:17:35.840 --> 00:17:44.160 That's it. It says just win. Two words. At the end of the day, winners write history and if you win 201 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:50.000 in the end, if you become the top performing sales rep, that's all that matters. And the only people 202 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:55.840 who care about the biases are the ones who lose because those are those biases are the things that 203 00:17:55.840 --> 00:18:00.160 soften their head when they when they put their head down on their pillow at night because it makes 204 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:04.720 them feel okay. It doesn't hurt their ego as much to say, you know, if I didn't have this bias, 205 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:11.200 I would have won. But no one remembers them. How much stronger of a story is it that you win despite 206 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:18.240 the bias? You win despite the disadvantage. Oprah will always have my eternal respect for being 207 00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:25.120 the first female black billionaire who built a media fucking empire in the fucking 80s. No one else 208 00:18:25.120 --> 00:18:30.960 can do that. And so that's the thing is that the number of biases that you have stacked against 209 00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:36.720 you becomes the more compelling story that no one else who doesn't have those biases will ever be 210 00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:43.520 able to tell. And if there's if there's anything that gives me hope, it's that is that you get the 211 00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:48.480 opportunity. You have this one unique opportunity that you get to be an example. You get to be an 212 00:18:48.480 --> 00:18:53.920 inspiration to other people who have red faces, who have green faces, who are too young, who are too old 213 00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:58.560 because those biases like I didn't get hired for the tech jock was them too old. You're not going 214 00:18:58.560 --> 00:19:03.360 to fix bias because it's wishing that humans won't learn and that's never going to happen. But you 215 00:19:03.360 --> 00:19:10.160 can still win by simply asking what would it take? And accepting the only thing that you can control 216 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:15.440 which is that there is bias and the reason I did not win is because I'm just not good enough yet. 217 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:20.480 I'm just not undeniable enough yet. Now I might be good enough if I had a green face, 218 00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:25.040 but I'm not good enough if I have a red face. So I got to get that much fucking better. 219 00:19:26.320 --> 00:19:32.320 It's the only thing that you can control. And so whether you're a business owner and that 220 00:19:32.320 --> 00:19:36.800 restaurant that's on the wrong side of the street, if you have the best pizza in the city, 221 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:43.760 people will go to the hood where it's unsafe to get the pizza. Everybody knows a restaurant where 222 00:19:43.760 --> 00:19:47.840 you're like it's kind of on the wrong side of town. It's a little bit city, but man that Indian 223 00:19:47.840 --> 00:19:54.720 Curry is fucking off the hook. Everybody you know that spot. Now do they have to be better than 224 00:19:54.720 --> 00:20:00.160 other places that are unsafe or nicer parts of town? Yes, but it doesn't mean that it's impossible. 225 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:04.720 It just means the bar is higher. And the only thing that we have control over is whether we're 226 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:12.240 willing to make the fucking climb. And so I saw that post and I was feeling spicy about it because 227 00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:16.320 the thing is like she was using that as the as the catalyst for her quitting her job to start a 228 00:20:16.320 --> 00:20:20.480 business. And I'm and I'm all about that. That's fine. That's awesome. Take take take take your life 229 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:24.720 into your own control. But do not for a second because I know that that belief will not serve her. 230 00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:31.600 Her saying I didn't get promoted because I was a woman. I didn't get respected because I was a woman. 231 00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:36.960 And believe me, I know it. Layla doesn't get nearly enough credit for all the stuff she doesn't 232 00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:41.440 act as a job. If she was a guy, if she was just a dude, and it was just Alex and Dan and Dan 233 00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:47.680 was a 50 50 partner of mine, Dan would get shit load more credit than Layla. Layla is a woman 234 00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:52.560 and she's my wife. And so the bias that exists against her is that how many business guys have 235 00:20:52.560 --> 00:20:58.240 their wife? They say she's the CEO and really she's just she's just a secretary, right? She's 236 00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:03.600 just a helper. Really, she just has some doing some admin tasks. So many people to this day, we show up 237 00:21:03.600 --> 00:21:09.120 to business conference and other business guys treat her like that. So what's she gonna do? 238 00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:14.400 She's just got to be that much fucking better. And if you knew Layla, which many of you guys don't, 239 00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:19.840 if you really knew Layla, she loves it. She loves it. She's like, we're gonna fucking murder him. 240 00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:24.240 Layla's way more hardcore than I am. You guys just don't know that. 241 00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:30.640 Layla's got fucking dark side. You guys just don't know, which is great. I love it. I think 242 00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:37.200 letting some of that dark side out and and beating the shit out of that victim mentality that you have, 243 00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:42.560 that because we want to. We want to lean into it. We want to we want to we it feels so much better to 244 00:21:42.560 --> 00:21:48.400 say I didn't win because of outside thing because it makes us feel better. I'm good. I'm good enough 245 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:52.400 just, but there's this thing. My restaurant is good enough. It's just on the wrong side of the 246 00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:56.720 street, right? I really am good at sales. I'm just, but you know, they don't give me the advancement 247 00:21:56.720 --> 00:22:00.480 because I knew Alex because I'm too young and I, you know, I'll just wait a couple of years. 248 00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:07.040 What would it take? What would it take for me to become undeniable for me to be bulletproof? 249 00:22:07.040 --> 00:22:13.680 I want to have no chinks in the armor. Nothing that anyone can hold against me to say that I am not 250 00:22:14.320 --> 00:22:21.200 the best for this thing. And if there is a deal that you need and there's a guy who who like 251 00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:27.200 was beat the hell in high school from guys who had flannel flannels and he hates those people. 252 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:33.280 And I don't get the deal. Guess what? There's other people that will give me the deal and you just 253 00:22:33.280 --> 00:22:34.240 keep moving forward.