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Everybody messes up. It's part of business. Your employees are gonna mess up. You're gonna mess up as a boss

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Your customers are gonna think you messed up even when you didn't mess up messing up happens

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And so if you act every time like you have never had a mess up before

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Then you are going to mess up even worse and so in this podcast

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I'm gonna talk you about three different stories about big mess ups that I have done and been an experiencer of

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And some tactical things that you can do that have made our businesses so much better and

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Turned one-star reviews into five-star reviews and the step-by-step process thinking through that

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Enjoy what do you do when you mess up?

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Right because you're gonna you're gonna mess up in business

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You're gonna mess up with a customer you're gonna you're gonna build someone the wrong amount

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You're gonna give someone the wrong date you're gonna forget to onboard someone

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You're gonna have a package that doesn't get delivered it gets delivered to the wrong address

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You're gonna you're gonna onboard someone put the wrong companies logo on it

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And every one of those examples that I just said is something that we have done at some point in my career and so

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I want to tell you two stories

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And then I want to drive home a couple of principles that have served us well

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Using them if you want but they have worked pretty well for us and so I'll tell you two kind of polar extremes

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So I I buy a lot of gym equipment even though I'm not even in the gym industry technically anymore

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I have a massive gym that is in our headquarters

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That's really sweet. I'll just put it out. We've got like 85 unique pieces in the gym and it's just just for me in the team

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Um, and so I

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All the pieces are bought from individual people. I kind of put the pieces together that I like

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And so it's not just one distributor and so I had a piece of equipment that I bought and I was really excited about it

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Because I was like, oh man. I love this piece. It's gonna be awesome

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And when it showed up it was bent like the frame was bent

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And the and the weight stack was kind of off and so one of the main poles was bent

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So then it was like this whole ordeal and we called the company up. He was like, well

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I mean you you accepted the shipment and we're I was like, yeah, because the truck guy was like

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What do you want me to do this? I was like, alright, we'll drop it off

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He's like, well as soon as you accept this shipment

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It's your liability and I don't know if it like it happened before after that

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And I was like, well, I'm telling you it happened before and I just wanted to help the guy out

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Who is the truck driver like complete is complete? The runs that you had for the day and he was like

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Sorry, dude

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And I was alright, well, I mean can we can we get like the pieces or something like a new frame that you can ship out

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Just that piece and he's like, well, that's gonna be extra and I'm like, dude

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I bought this thing

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It arrived not the way that I bought it and now I'm incurring additional costs in terms of financial cost

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But I also have the additional cost of now I'm talking to you when I'd rather be using the piece of equipment

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And so the TLDR of that as I basically just threw the piece out and I hate the person who I did business with and I will tell anybody

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Whoever considers buying from them that they suck

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Now let's take the alternative example

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so

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last year I went to

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Orlando for Jim Conn and we stayed at the Ritz and

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When I went to the Ritz we had our team with us and so we went out they have a Michelin star restaurant there

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Which by the way I found out was actually named after Michelin tires totally random

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I saw like the Michelin tire man at the front of the restaurant. I was like this feels weird

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But it's actually what it is anyways, and so we go in there and it's this really nice restaurant or whatever

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But it took three and a half hours to eat our entire meal

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We didn't get drinks for like 45 minutes. We didn't get the appetizers until minute 90 and I was like dude

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This is I was like I honestly just want to go get Chick-fil-A like I don't even care, right?

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And so anyways, we finished the whole dining experience if you want to call it that and

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The manager of the hotel, you know our team was like hey just letting you know like this was pretty pretty tough and

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As soon as the manager found out about that he was so upset

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He was like oh my god. I can't believe this happened. We had just switched staff over we're training some team up

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And I think we were under you know short you know store staff that day whatever and he said

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But that's a hundred percent our fault. He said please let me make it up to you and so

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For the remainder of the trip like one he comped the dinner that we had there, which was expensive

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Then we got upgraded I think rooms for the rest of our stay they he said please like they delivered like

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Fruit baskets and drinks and other stuff to our room throughout the day and my team's room

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So it's not just me like we had eight people with us. They're staying in four or five rooms

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And so all of everybody got taken care of he made us reservations at two different restaurants

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The next basically every the night for us to choose from and then he met us at the restaurant to see this at the table

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He got us the appetizers and drinks at the restaurants that he met us at to make sure that we were okay now

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I'll tell you this

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Since then if I go to Orlando I stay at the Ritz and I talked and I talked to Havier because Havier is my dude and Havier goes above and beyond and

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The other guy at the other company. I don't say anything about now

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I don't even want to say the name of the company because I don't want to give them air time all right

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And so I think there's some really interesting principles about this that we've taken from for our business

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So Disney says that there's 37 magic moments that it takes to make up for one tragic moment

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And I think there's two kind of levels to thinking about this

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So the magic moments it means it takes so many good things to make up for one bad thing

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So by all for all intents and purses avoid the tragic moment because it's gonna take you so many to make up for it

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But if you do have that tragic moment then you have to do a ton and I see that on kind of bi-directionally

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Now one of the things that I like to think about a lot is like I never want to become someone's project

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And what I mean by that is like if if you piss someone off or you do something wrong and you know you did something wrong

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You don't you don't want that person to stew and just think like how am I going to destroy this person like

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You don't want to become someone's project and so I've talked about the angry button

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I'm gonna get to that in a second

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But I actually want to hit on this point because I think it's really important which is that

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A refund to a customer is an apology

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But you have to do better than that if you hit your wife and then you apologize

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It's not just like oh we're neutral. It's just as if I had an hitter

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It's like and I'm doing this as a natural extremity by hyperbolic, but like

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You're wronging someone and saying I'm sorry is not enough and so let me let me prove to the point if you accidentally

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Kill someone in manslaughter society deems you saying sorry family isn't enough

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So what is what does the government do they sentence you and they put you in prison?

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So they say you have to say sorry and you have to pay ten years because of involuntary manslaughter

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They say sorry isn't enough and so

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Refunding someone isn't enough if if have year at the Ritz had just refunded me the meal

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I wouldn't be like stoked

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I would have been like we wasted three and a half hours of my night and it's and like the food was cold like all these other things

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Like I'm not like I'm not back to neutral right like one tragic moment

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He gave me a magic moment. Okay. Give me a refund and so one of the things that you have to wrap your head around

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And this took me some time is like you actually are gonna go negative on refunds meaning like you're gonna lose money

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You're not just gonna be like oh well. You paid me a hundred bucks. I'm gonna pay you a hundred dollars back now or even

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It's no because there's additional cost that they incur and so like they got dressed up

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Like or like if we got dressed up to go out this nice restaurant

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We have expectations of the evening that are gonna be really good and so not only did we pay money

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But we paid time and every person might you know the the the gals of my team got all dolled up and all that stuff and all of this is for

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It goes completely into the tragic

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Perspective and so as a customer or one of your customers has one of these experiences. It's like

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Dude refunding is them is not enough

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Hey guys real quick. I'm gonna give you a little Easter egg if you screenshot this episode right now and you tag me on the Graham

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I will share it but put the word make it right all right

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So say make it right in the tag and I'll know that you got to this point in the podcast because you're

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Hard core and you are always trying to make your business better and trying to do right by other people and yourselves and so

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It's also a way that helps me know that I'm doing a good job so that I can make the little voice inside of me

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Say that I'm proud of me anyways if you got value from this it would mean a lot to me and I will do more of it and

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And so we have to do have to go above and beyond and so one of the issues that happens though is that

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When when it happens and this is this is now me talking to the teammates so people who work in businesses

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Like what you can't do and I'm just I'm just please I'm begging you what you can't do is trying minimize it to the customer

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Right like Havier could have been like oh, I mean like basically by saying you're being ridiculous

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Don't be a victim like that's what that like that's whatever you say when the person's like hey the food was late

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The what all you're doing is trying to invalidate them

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You're basically saying you're lying or you're not telling the truth or I mean pick your poison and your base is saying that you don't matter

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That's what you're saying and so what happens is is that people then escalate to be like yes

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I do matter and you don't understand and not only that but I'm gonna punish you and so what do you think one star reviews are?

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Think about it for a second a one star review is a customer's way of

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Being the judicial system and saying okay this person refunded me

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But they needed to do more and so I'm still gonna jam them

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I'm still gonna put them in prison even though they apologize for killing my husband and manslaughter

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Right even though they apologize that wasn't enough

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So I'm gonna punish them with a review because that's all I can do those are the things that they have control over and

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And so we have to go above and beyond and so I'll give you an example recently and so we had a we had a scheduling

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Miss half

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And we had seven people who were gonna fly out to our headquarters and

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Basically they came here and there was nothing happening that day because the sales team messed up times and so

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It's like and five these for international think about this you you travel across the country or across the world to you get your

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Expectations up some people have to apply for visas like big big big like expectations big work big money

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All of these things like beforehand right and they show up and like nothing's happening. There was a scheduling

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Miss half right and so what do you do right like that's a big big mess up. That's a big mess up

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It's absolutely unacceptable

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So here's what you don't do you don't say hey you should have checked the email or hey

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We sent some other correspondence that that might have you don't conflict like you don't go into any of that because it doesn't matter

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They don't care what matters is that it's always

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Immediately your fault and you have to be angry about it than they are and this is the angry boat

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The thing is is that even though I preach this it's still hard to do when you're in the moment because no one wants to accept fault

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Because fault is associated with all these negative things in our past because in the schooling system

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If you say your fault you go to detention like you get punished by saying it's your fault

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So you always want to blame hey Timmy is the one who's who turned the music up not me

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So Timmy gets punished

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But the reality is that in business

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It you always wanted to be your fault because if it's your fault

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It's under your control, which means you you have the power to fix it

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That's what's key and so as soon as you have that instance you jump in the angry boat as fast as you can

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You want to be quicker to the draw getting angry than the other person and a lot of times customers will have one of these

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Experiences and they'll shoot out the situation to wait to see how you respond

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Because they want to they want you to be upset about this because they are already angry and they're trying to contain themselves

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Trying to contain their emotions and what you need to do is be the one who gets emotional for them

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That is the ultimate validation is that

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Something bad happens and you say that's ridiculous. That's unacceptable. Of course we're gonna give you your money back

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Of course, I'm gonna refund all of your travel expenses, which by the way is what we did

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We give them the money back give the travel expenses, but that's still not enough

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It's not enough because if you travel across the world you're like, okay, well great my flights

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But like I just lost four days of travel and I had these expectations that we're met and so we're taking the whole that you know

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The seven people out four three hours. We're gonna go to dinner

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We'll talk probably I'll probably end up doing three hours of personalized consulting for each of these businesses

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Which is not something that I would normally do

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In an effort to go above and beyond to make up for something that that otherwise shouldn't have happened and the reality is

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Is this like let's be let's put our let's put our hats on for a second

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Is this my fault?

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Alex's fault was either one he took the call was either one he messed up the scheduling now

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But guess whose fault it is it's mine right I pay the people

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I'm the the buck stocks with me and so the idea that sometimes I see business owners saying things like

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Well, that you know my team messed dude you fucking messed up

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Like that's the thing about the entrepreneurship game is like you get you get the upside

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But you get the downside you get it both and you've got to be able to be comfortable with that and the thing is is like

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You have to accept and I want like this is the thing as soon as I go in my mind is like I flip the switch or becomes a game of

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How can I blow these people away?

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That as soon as I have like a clear and obvious wrong and it happens we mess things up

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We're human and humans work for us and humans make mistakes and so when as soon as as soon as that happens

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It becomes this game of oh our wise out the window. I'm already losing money on this

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Duh, right like you're gonna give the money back plus extra cost that they incurred plus now

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You're still going to incur the cost that you would have normally done to to do deliver whatever it is that you do, right?

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But the thing is is I am in a fucking advocate of the Ritz Carlton and Orlando and Havier

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I tell everybody when they're like hey, where should I go?

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I'm like go there go to Havier

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He's the fucking man and I tell everybody that and so I'll bet you they have more than made up

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For the transgression of the one restaurant experience and him meeting me at the other restaurants and sitting us down and taking

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Five minutes before two or three or four other experiences we had while we were there

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Those little minutes meant the world's because I know what kind of business owner what kind of entrepreneur

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What kind of operator operates that way? It's somebody who gets it you get the game

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Which is that did Havier mess up he is not even he's not even responsible for the restaurant is not even his division

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But he did it because he knows that I don't care and

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He had the power to fix it. So even if it wasn't his fault for the transgression

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He had the power to fix it and so it becomes his responsibility to make it right inside note here with the angry boat is

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One you want to confront a head on you don't want to pussy foot around it

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You got to say like this was our mess up and I'm super pissed about it

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Second you want to get in fast third validate validate validate you want them to feel seen you want the same feel heard

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You want them to feel felt you want them to feel felt you want them to feel like you you feel their pain more than they feel their pain

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Because here's the here's the reality and this is that this is that this is the underlying highlight point

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There is no way that you can minimize someone's pain only they can minimize it

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You cannot

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Invalidate away someone's feeling about being wronged the only person who can say you know what it's not a big deal is them

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And so the only way for that to happen is for you to be more upset

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So that they say hey, it's not that big of a deal calm down and then they said it not you

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Because if you say hey, it's not that big of a deal calm down. They're going to be like rip. Yes

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It is you need to validate me and then you're like oh my god. You're right

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I should kill myself with the like do. Oh, don't kill yourself and you're like right and they're like it's not that big of a deal

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Like okay fantastic. They come back down and I say the I use I use hyperbolic extremes to make a point which is

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If you want someone to feel better about something that you did that wronged them

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They have to initiate it and the only way they're initiated is if you make it a bigger deal to you than it is to them

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Messing up as a part of business and if this was not a mess up of an episode for you and you actually did get some value from it

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To counter some of those one star views that I have I don't think I have that many but um even if I did

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Uh a five-star review if you've ever gotten value from this show especially recently

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Would mean the world to me and so uh it encourages more people more business owners

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To watch and listen and hey, I think this particular message

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I think if every business acted this way. I think we'd all be happier customers also those businesses would make more money

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In the long run and that's the key point in the long run

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And hopefully you're not in this game to get in and out

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But you want to play it for life and that's what the game is about

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So please leave review enjoy the show and I'll see you soon

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And so I want to do a quick transition to um employee stuff around this so

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If you were the person who messed up like you're the actual person now of course it's the entrepreneur

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It's it's always our fault for sure

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But on some level if you're the person who messed up on the team let me tell you what not to do

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Don't try and skirt along

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Don't try and pretend like it's not a big deal

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When you say to the team don't try and minimize me like oh yeah, I kind of messed up the the dates on on that thing

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Don't fucking do that

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Because it's the same thing in reverse because the like the owner your manager your leader the entrepreneur

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He's the customer. She's the customer in this incident and I'll tell you what I want to see

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I want to see you losing your fucking mind over how upset you are at this mess up because the thing is is if you're not upset enough

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I'm gonna make you upset and so one of us is gonna make you upset and you want it to be you not me

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Being really real with you and so

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But I'll tell you what I'll tell you what I told the individual. I said listen

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I know because I know I know I know the person you know like obviously these multiple parties blah blah blah

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But at some point sometimes the buck and stop assuming I said listen

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I know that you're beating yourself up over this and you're beating yourself up over it in silence

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I was like but the thing is it's like no one cares

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No one will give you credit for beating yourself up in silence. They will give you credit for two things

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Making it right and making sure it never happens again

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That's it that's all that matters and so there is there's no more useless

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Emotion than feeling sorry for yourself. It changes nothing

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Like no one gets better by feeling sorry for themselves

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at all

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And so if you did mess up

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Just skip past the guilt part skip past the shame part skip past that and go immediately

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Into the what can I do to make it right what can I do to make it better than right sure you hit your wife sure

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You said sorry, but now what we got to take out the dinner get her nice necklace get her some flowers

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And then go to fucking anger therapy and make sure that you know like whatever like you you do all the things to go

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From tragic to neutral and then you go above neutral to try and make them into a champion

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And then you do all the things to make sure it doesn't happen again

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That's the point

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And so too many businesses

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Basically think that a refund is the highest level of what they can do to make it right they're like a gave him his money back

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What else is you want a shit load more that's what that's what they want way more and the thing is is

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And I'll tell you this is that if you incur the cost of the refund to plus the additional causes and you lose

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Actual money actual resources trying to make it right guess what you try not to do

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You try not to fuck up us so much in the future because you know the real cost of it isn't just like

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And like don't even get me started on companies that won't give a review like don't don't give a refund on stuff like

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If people if if a huge percentage of your customers are asking for refunds fix your shit or stop selling it

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like

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Either you're selling it wrong and you're setting crazy expectations that no one no one can no one can live up to

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Or you're just delivery sucks

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But like if you're getting lots of reef or refund requests and then you you're like well, I can't give the refunds

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Otherwise, I won't be in business then maybe you shouldn't be in business

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Fix your shit

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And I get I get I get I get I get jazzed about this like I came into the team this morning

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I was like oh, I know I'm gonna talk about because this is hot because we just mess us up. We just had this mess up happen and

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Like you have to own it and you have refunds aren't enough refunds or apologies

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No one cares about apologies people want more than apology because they will punish you and society believes that too

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You don't just say I'm sorry. I killed somebody. I'm sorry. I was in a I was a drunk driver and I killed your kid

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I'm sorry is not enough a refund is an apology a refund is sorry and people want more than that

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And so you got to get them to neutral and then and here's the cool part. So this is my silver lining for this

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Is that if you do

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Turn a tragic moment into a series of magic moments afterwards you can create that branch champions

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You have a higher potential to take somebody and make them a true believer in what you do

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If when you mess up you own it and you make it better than right

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Because they're like these guys messed up, but they went so far out of their way

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And if anybody's ever had this experience and I hope you have at least one time in your life or a business owner

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When above and beyond they didn't just make it right they made it better than right and then what happens you become a customer for life

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You have a higher potential for being a customer for life and I remember there was a

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Equate in some mine who was in the hot sauce business just kind of random and he had a cusp so he had

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He had sent them a hot sauce kit or something and it didn't have caps and so he couldn't they couldn't use the hot sauce

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Because it didn't have a cap in the kit and so he sent a handwritten note to them and he sent extra caps

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Not just enough, but like more of them just in case or whatever and

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They said

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They sent him back a note being like wow that was so nice of you like you went above and beyond whatever and so he actually started

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sending

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The kits with handwritten notes with an extra cap

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Because of that experience it because that person then went change their one star two of five star

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Because of the great experience and I don't know if you've ever done this you've seen this like updated reviews where people say hey

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I left this one star the cup the founder reached out to me. He got on the phone with me

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He made it right the thing is is that people want to punish you when they feel invalidated

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And you can absolutely you can you can make them feel validated like the reason malpractice so they did a bunch of research like it's both my parents or physicians

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Um, there's a ton of ton of research on malpractice

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The people who get sued for malpractice are doctors that people hate not people who make the most mistakes

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Then interesting so they tell this story of a lady who

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Had some sort of thing that happened that was wrong in like a clear lawsuit

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And she had had like two or three physicians that she was going for like cancer or something whatever it was

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and when the uh, she hired this malpractice her and because she wanted to go after this physician

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And so after doing more research the lawyer was like hey, it's not this guy who actually technically

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mean the mess up. It's this one your primary carrier your general physician

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And the lady was like oh Sarah

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Oh, I love Sarah. No, it's it's fine

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And so it had nothing to do with the transgression

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It had to do with the fact that they actually hated the person

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And so the thing is is like people people people want to punish you if they don't like you and you increase the likelihood that

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They do like you by going above and beyond and so here's one tactical thing one more last tactical thing

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From my notes that I'll give you

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If you deal in a business that has lots of transactions high volume transactions every day

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What you want to do is you want to give someone a box of responsibility

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You want to give a box of decision making power

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And so they do this in the hotel industry and this is why I like stealing things from one industry and putting it to another

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And so for example if someone wakes up in the middle of the night because they smell smoke right and they come

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They call to the front desk and they say hey, I smell smoke. I can't sleep blah blah blah

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that front desk person

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If they have no power to fix it

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The customer still holds them responsible

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So they basically you give them a losing card. They can't do anything

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But if you say these are the things that you have within your responsibility that within your power

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You can give someone free free drink credits

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You can give someone a free meal

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You can give someone a free upgrade all right

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So these are the three things you can do based on the level of the the mess up right

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If if someone had to wait 20 minutes for a bell hop

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Okay, is that like end of the world?

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Probably not here's here's two drinks

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Just in case you were waiting or for tonight to make it special before you go out all right now

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If someone can't sleep because there's smoke and they shouldn't have had smoke in the that's a pretty big mess up

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So what do we do? Well, if the front desk person has the power to upgrade them for the next room for the next night

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Then you probably refund them for the night before and give them a free upgrade for the next night

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But you have to give people you have to give your team the two or three things that they can do

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And then just say listen if we're if you're using up more than five of these a month

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Then like we need to fix a process here

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But these are things that you can give out as freebies that you bake into the profit margins of the business

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So that you know that you can make things right when things do inevitably grow wrong

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Because people are human and humans doing with humans leaves the mistakes. So

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What to do when you mess up is

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Don't just refund someone that is not enough go above and beyond

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And if you do that you might just turn a hater into a lifelong fan

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Be awesome take care of your customers all that good stuff. Oh, by the way share this if you can

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mean a lot to me and all that stuff

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Otherwise, otherwise, I'll stop doing these not really

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I will stop, but it would just mean a lot more

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If you did that because then I'll know that you do like it and then I will actually I will I will probably make more

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If you share how about that rather than stop or start I will probably make more if you share these

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Anyways keeping awesome catch you soon