WEBVTT

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The quality of your business is directly proportional to the quality of the people you hire,

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which is directly proportional to your character and your ability to cast a clear vision,

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and how they fit in it, not just how you accomplish your own goals.

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And so I would say early Alex was very much like, they're like, what's the mission of the business?

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And I was like, to make lots of money, that was the mission of the business.

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Make Alex Rich. And so she was like, no one wants to work for that.

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And she would look at me, she'd be like, I don't want to work for that. And I'd be like,

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fuck, fine. And so as I've tried to work on myself and very transparently, since Leila joined me,

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Leila has exceptional character. And honestly, the internet will never know because

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only the people who work in our company can really know how great a human being she is.

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And unfortunately, no one will believe me because I'm her husband and people think that I'm fluffing

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her, so whatever. But you can judge the validity of that statement based on the quality of the people

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that we bring in because really wonderful people wouldn't work for people who sucked.

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And Leila is exceptional. And so because of that, I've been able to have people who work in my

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companies who are way above what I could probably attract in my own. And it's all been because of

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honestly her relentless drive in personal development. Like she actually has done more personal

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development work than anyone I know. And just continually trying to get better. I mean, one of the

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reasons that I married Leila early on, I said, and I told her this, it's like, in a word, I was like,

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you're just coachable. She takes feedback. Like she actually only requires one piece of feedback

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to make a permanent change. I haven't seen anyone like that in my life. Like I'll give you an example.

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Like when I am the very beginning of a relationship, like she would laugh at like a joke or something

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and she'd be like, oh, you're stupid. Like she'd say like that joke. And I think she did a couple

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times and I was just like, hey, probably my own thing. I was like, but I don't like when you say that.

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From that day, she's never said it again. And it was something that was just like part of how she

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acted. And the number of examples that are like that where she can just immediately change. And she

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does that for everyone on the team. And so she acts that way to me, but she acts that way for

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everyone. And so because of that, people have nice things to say. They then refer their friends.

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And so things is like the world's a lot smaller than people think it is, especially the higher up you

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go. And especially the more talented people you get. Because like winners hang around winners. And so

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it's funny because like all the guys on my media team who are like the high up dudes know the guys

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who are on high up media teams at all other places. And they all talk. And I know who's an asshole

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is a dick to their team. And guess what happens when that guy is dissatisfied for a day? He comes

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to my team because hopefully our guys are like, these guys are cool. We work hard, but we work hard

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because we want to do a good job. And so that culture has been because of the relentless effort

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Laila has done to work on herself so that she can translate that into her team, which then translate

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that outwards. Because if you think about building an asset, which is what a business is or what

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it should become if you want to create something of value, it's never about how much you can do.

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It's about how much you can organize everyone in a singular election, which is why I said

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and cast a clear vision. Because sure, like on one level, if you're a great person, great,

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then you can attract great people. But great people will still only be there because there's an

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ambition component, which is, okay, you're cool. Got it. That's checkbox one. Checkbox two. I have

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a dream for my life. Does my dream fit within yours? And so you have to cast a vision big enough that

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someone else's dream can fit inside of it. And so she also taught me that. And so like the

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before and after of this was like Alex being kind of a dick, not being able to hold on to

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really high level talent because I didn't give enough feedback. I was too demanding without enough

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ability to coach someone on how they could satisfy demands. I basically just had a really high bar.

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And if you didn't meet it, I didn't want you. And that made for a lot of churn. And so she came in

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with a completely different approach and was like, this is where we want to go. This will fit with your

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career. And these are the things that I'm going to invest in you to help you get your goals. And so

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she very much just sees I genuinely think that Laila sees organization as a vehicle for personal

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development for everyone in the company. And the fact that we do business, I really genuinely think

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for her is secondary. There's an exceptional book on this by Patrick Wentzioni called The Motive

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and she asked me to read it for like two years. And I just didn't because I'm a wonderful

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husband. It's like a hundred pages. I read it in 90 minutes before she woke up one day. Like I

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literally sat down. I was like sitting on the counter. I was like, I'll read it. And I just I read it

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covered, covered one sitting. And she came in to like have coffee with me in the morning. And I

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just looked at it. I was like, I get it. I'm really sorry. And if like I highly recommend if you're

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a small business owner or you're an operator, you're somebody actually runs your business, read

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the motive. I was the bad guy in the example. And it shows what it looks like to be a good operator

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of a business. And it was literally the exact opposite of everything I did. Be fast to extend trust

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and be even faster to take it back. And so I tend to be the more trusting of the two of us.

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We're on the yes man. Basically, your partnership that I have done that has gone awry Laila strongly

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voiced her opposition towards and I steamroll her as a total side note for dudes. I actually do

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think that women have a better judge of character. And I actually think it's evolutionary. I don't think

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it's like a man woman thing. Actually, it is a man woman thing because it's evolutionary. That's the

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point is that if you think about early days, women had to they could only really find one mate. And so

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they had to be excellent judges of character and intention like who here is going to be able to

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stay for several years and provide and all the stuff. And so they had to really see through the lines

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and judge people's nuance and how they communicate and what their intention and values were.

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Guys, we have way lower stakes from an evolutionary perspective like we just want to spread the seed.

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So we just get really good at selling, which why guys tend to be better promoting in those roles.

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But not as good at judging because I you know, someone's like, I'll do that. So I'd say, I'm like,

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Jerry said he'd do it. Why wouldn't he do it? She's like, did you not see the flashing scam sign

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over his head? That's just Vegas lighting to being like, I'm a scam and I was like, oh shit.

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No, I didn't see that. And so the amount of mistakes one that she's helped me avoid. But secondly,

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that Laila will still extend trust. And she does that. And I would say that this particular kind

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of quarterism is more about the team. So I was really fast to extend trust externally to vendors

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and partnerships and things like that, but really slow to extend internally. And I think she is

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that flipped is that she's really slow to extend trust to people outside. But on the inside,

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if she's like, okay, if you passed all these walls, you're in now, like you're it, like you're on

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the team and we will treat you like you are on the team. But if you give us reason to not trust you,

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we will take that back. And so that is how I think she kind of like protected the kingdom,

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if you want to say that way, that I've learned a lot from her. And so I think it's the internal

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external kind of dichotomy that was flipped between the two of us. And I think because she extend

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trust, people trust us back. And that was something like in my organizations that was just from

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Miami earlier, I didn't trust anyone and no trusted me. So I'll give you an example. So we went

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through a big fancy recruiting firm. We spent $140,000 to recruit one executive that was like an

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ex-Microsoft person who is this really good tech guy, whatever because we wanted to invest in this

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technology in one of our companies. And so this is supposed to be a CTO, like a technical person.

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And so the first day, the guy was late to two out of three meetings. And we're like, that's weird.

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And then the next day, he was also late again to multiple meetings on Zoom. And when we hopped

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on the phone, he said, I just had trouble figuring out Zoom. And she was like, you're a CTO.

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Like so for two reasons. One, you're an executive. Secondly, you're a technical executive. And

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you're saying that you're having trouble with Zoom. And we let him go. And it was a bloodbath of

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a call to be really honest with you. The guy was like, I quit my job. And some people are going to

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listen to this and be like, you guys are whatever. There was obviously other things that they had

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done in the way they communicated and how they had gotten things back in the few days that they

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were with us. So no, you don't have full context. Obviously. Anyways, point being, we made the decision

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because that person had given us reason not to trust them. Now we had some suspicion that they

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had a consulting business in between. So they had left their previous role. They were consulting

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for a bunch of companies and we said, Hey, we want to make sure that you're all in on this when

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you come on. And so for us, if someone's really spotty with their schedule, being really private with

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their time, and then late to multiple things for no apparent reason, that would be indicated that

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they're lying. And so for that reason, we decided, Hey, we gave you the trust upfront. But I'm not

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going to wait for you to figure shit out because even if you do, I don't trust you. And so for that

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reason, we let them go. And so we will extend the trust immediately full access. But if you give us

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reason not to, we don't wait for a second strike. Don't require three strikes to get someone out

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of your life. If someone shows you their colors, believe them the first time. This one, I think

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Layla is fucking clean of. I tend to give second chances. Again, this is more externally partners.

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This guy did this thing in the past. Maybe he was indicted for fraud. It was a misunderstanding.

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Layla's been just very adamant that like, if someone has a history of something, I don't want to

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be their come up story. Like, let someone else take that shot. I'll be after that because there's

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enough people who have just crushed it and been awesome the whole time and haven't fucked anyone

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over. Let's just work with them. And we've avoided a lot of calamity because the amount of times

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that I have done that and been burned is honestly the majority of the time as ugly as that sounds.

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And I, I want to believe in redemption. And I do, I think, but I think I want to believe in it

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in someone on someone else's dime. I'm just being a really, like, I'm just keeping it really,

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really rare. And I think a lot of that comes down to employees, partnerships, vendors. That's why

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reference checks is like, we do huge amounts, really deep background checks with people who come

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to like work for us or people that we do business with. And like, we have a full third party firm

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that does full background checks on anyone we even do business with. Like, just a vendor. Like,

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we'll run background checks on everyone. And that might sound like crazy. But the thing is,

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if you find out somebody's was a sex offender, you're like, is it relative to business?

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No. Is it something with their character? Probably. Were they convicted? Were they not? I don't

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know, but there's enough drama that I would just rather not. And same thing, like did someone steal

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from like, we had a business that we were looking and investing it. And there were three partners.

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And two of them are now in jail. And the other one isn't. The other one that isn't was trying to

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do business with us. And I was like, huh, how do two people go to jail and one not? That's called

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singing to the feds. But the point was when we found that out, it's like, sure, I'm sure they

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had a story they didn't technically get in trouble. Weird enough that two of their partners are in

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prison. If I have the option of that or just not that, I'll just not do that. And so this is just

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like sounds cool ruthless. But when I think about like Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett and the

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decisions they make, they're like, yeah, just don't do that one. Like, just pick any of the other

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people that are out there. And don't worry, that person will screw someone else. Like, don't

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get a shot. Don't worry about it. It just doesn't have to be you. It'll just be old Alex.

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Punishment only gets short term obedience. Praise gets long term loyalty. This is really

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interesting that took me a long time to figure out. So from a human behavior perspective, punishment

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fades over time. And so let me give you an example. So if you've ever like drank too much one weekend,

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you wake up the next day and you're like, hungover, you're like, I'm never gonna drink again.

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And then the next weekend, you're out there partying. What happened is the punishment associated

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with the hangover faded, but the reward associated with getting drunk and partying stays the same.

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It's the same reason if you break up with somebody. Months later, you think about the good times,

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but you forget about the bad times. If you ever see them again, then all of a sudden it all comes

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rushing back and you're like, oh my god, this person sucks. What was I thinking? You remember it all

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because punishment fades. Ward stays over time. And I'm gonna get really real. I think the reason

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that people speak really nicely about people who've been dead for a long time is that that

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person has never had the ability to punish them anymore for a very long time. And they only remember

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the good things. All that to say. In an organization, you can absolutely get someone to do whatever

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you want if you punish them. Like if I hold again to somebody said that's a threat of punishment,

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you can get them to it here for the most part. But the moment you remove the punishment,

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or you remove the threat, they behave exactly the way they were going to before. But if you reward,

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they will always want to have that reward and it does not fade. And so if you want the team to

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continue to act the same way when you are not there, then using reward rather than punishment is a

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better long-term strategy. The problem is, and this is what confounds everything, is that you can get

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way faster results with punishment. And so you have to be more patient and more willing to continue

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to invest in people when they mess up, not get angry, and continue to only reward the good things

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so that you orient their behavior in that way. But then you have a longer on-ramp, but then they

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are way more self-sufficient long-term. So you get higher returns on an employee by investing

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longer in the short term so you get better long-term rewards. Whereas punishment, you can change

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their behavior quickly, but you always have to keep punishment and you also have to increase your

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punishment. So if you're the type of boss who just always yells the same way, eventually people

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get immune to it. And so you actually have to increase the intensity and variety of punishment in

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order to keep it effective just getting into behavior stuff. And that sounds like a terrible way

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to live. And so from her, I have seen her just use reward, she just doles out reward in such a

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strategic, like she's surgical in how she can pinpoint how to give reward at the right time for

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the right people, for the right activities, and orient the organization so quickly towards the

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cookies or nuggets that she puts out that everyone just gets excited. And she does it to me too,

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because hey, I like to be in reward too. And so the thing about human behavior is that even if

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you understand it, it still works. I'll give you a really micro example. So we had someone on our

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team who we always really enjoyed filming with. And we wanted to put that person in charge of the

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whole department. And we're like, okay, well, how do we get someone else to be just as good at

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filming with us? And so we were like, okay, well, we can't just tell people, like, be good at

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filming. We were like, what is it about that person that makes them so good to film with? And

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what we realized when we broke it down to one of the things is that like when we were talking,

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they would not belong. Like they were listening to what we were saying. And so for you, you're just

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a camera right now, but you're watching this as a person. But for me, I'm just looking at a camera.

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And so having someone behind who's like giving me feedback in real time created a short reinforcement

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or reward loop that made it more enjoyable to film with. And so for us, identifying that little

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loop made the whole thing more enjoyable. And so in all aspects of business, there are these little

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short reward loops that we can identify and then get really tactical good about them and incentivize

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those things. And now when we bring someone in, they know that there's three, four, five, six activities

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that somebody who behind a camera has to do that makes them excellent behind a camera. And then we

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can on-rant people and reward them for those activities because those activities reward the

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person who's doing the recording. And then that becomes the virtuous cycle reward. And that

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becomes really fun and profitable.