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I think the more we as leaders can consistently practice this trait, the more breakthroughs

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we'll be able to help our teammates have, and ultimately the faster the communication

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will happen.

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Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more

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customers, how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned

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along the way.

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I hope you enjoy and subscribe.

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What's going on everyone?

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Happy Saturday, the third time's the charm.

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We're trying this new podcast set up hopefully to get you guys some better audio, and so we

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got this fancy ass mic here, which looks nice and fancy, and so hopefully you guys can

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hear me in deep, rich audio.

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What I wanted this podcast to be about was Gossip, and the reason I wanted to talk about

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Gossip is because I actually think it's one of the most powerful forms of communication

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that humans do, especially people who are not good communicators, right?

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That's why I wanted to talk about it because I think it's one of the ways that you can

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actually harness and advance as an individual, both in a team, in management, in leadership.

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If you are a leader, in your own company, if you're obviously an entrepreneur, then you

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are a leader, but even if you're listening to this as an employee, this realization for

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me has been really big.

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We just had our strategic meet up this last week, and obviously when you have lots of people

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who get into a room, inevitably there's back channels and side conversations that end

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up happening about performance, about attitude, about behavior, even about habits, right,

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of other people in the team, and we have a no gossip policy at our company, but what's

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interesting is that if you, I think if you flip how you perceive Gossip, you can actually

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harness it into one of the most powerful forms of authentic communication, and so what

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I mean by that is, if you think about what Gossip is, and it's a very basic route, it's

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two people being transparent about someone else when that person's not there, and typically

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it's something that is negative, or something that they don't want that person to know

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they are saying about them, right, but if you think about what is actually being said,

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if you were to wash the intention behind it and simply extract what is being said about

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this person, it's like, well, you know, John can't delegate anything, like he just, he

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holds everything and he slows the whole team down, right, you know, Nancy's so negative,

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right, like she's like, she just hops on and sometimes I'm like, geez, like, you know,

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being nice for once, gosh, like we're on the same team, right, you hear these side conversations

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that end up happening, like the gossip, but those gossip nuggets are a gift not for the

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people having the gossip, but for the person that the gossip is about, right, and the reason

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that this type of communication proliferates, in my opinion, is because people are so starved

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of real authentic communication, right, like most people suck at communicating.

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Most people don't have real relationships with their spouses, most people don't have real

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relationships with their boyfriends, their girlfriends, most people don't have actual relationships

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with anyone, which is why so many people feel so lonely is because they are so afraid

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of saying what they actually think, right, and so under the guise of gossip where the

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two people gossiping don't talk to each other about what they think about one another,

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they talk to each other about what they think about another person, right, but it shows

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to me that everyone has the capacity for authentic communication, everyone has, everyone has

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the thoughts of what they really think, they're just afraid to tell the person because they

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are afraid of what would happen, but within the context of a business, within the context

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of any relationship, in my opinion, if you can bring that person who you're gossiping

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about into the fold, everyone gets stronger, right, it doesn't do anyone any good to gossip,

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which is why we have no gossip policy, but it does everyone a world of good if the two

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people who are gossiping about the third person, bring the third person in, and then you

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have a dialogue, and you say Nancy, you're really fucking negative. Holy shit. Like now,

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and then Nancy either gets to say, I've had such a hard week, like my kids, and I just

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had a newborn kid, and it's keeping me up, and I'm so sorry, I didn't know that you felt

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that way, now I feel horrible, right, and you have this ability to have a genuine conversation,

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right, or John, dude, you're bottlenecking everyone, like you're holding onto all these tasks,

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and you're not delegating any of them. And John's like, oh my god, I didn't know, I thought

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you guys were so busy, I didn't want to give anything to you guys, so I just held onto

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it for myself, because I was trying to be a good teammate. Everyone's like, no, dude, you're not

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being a good teammate. Like you're slowing the entire company or the entire department down,

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because you won't delegate stuff off your plate. It's like, oh, I didn't know, right, and so gossip

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is a gift to the person who's not there. And so I think if we can learn, and this is something

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that I think is learned through repetition, is that whenever I'm now seeing people lower their

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voice or want to go on a walk together, a little bit further away on the edge, on the periphery,

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right, where they don't want people to hear, where they have their genuine, the genuine real

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conversations that happen are these back conversations, but if you bring that person in, and so I had

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a couple of these that happened over the weekend where someone would be like, hey, you know,

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I don't think this is, and literally as this employee was telling me what they thought that was

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negative about a third employee, I was like, hey, John, come over here. I was like, we think you

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suck at this. And it was like, like, I could see the look of shock, but then it was like, oh, wait,

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it's okay. We're all here. No one's going to die. We're actually to have a real conversation about

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this and solve it now, right? Make the person aware that you think this.

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Real quick guys, if you can think about how you found this podcast, somebody probably tweeted it,

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told you about it, shared it on Instagram, or something like that. The only way this grows

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is through word of mouth. And so I don't run ads, I don't do sponsorships, I don't sell anything.

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My only ask is that you continue to pay it forward to whoever showed you or however you found out

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about this podcast that you do the exact same thing. So if it was a review, if it was a post,

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if you do that, it would mean the world to me, and you'll throw some good karma out there for

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another entrepreneur. Because 90% of the time they have no idea, right? And we have this fear

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that they're going to what hates you, but it's like, it's, I feel like so many things that I've

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learned over time in terms of like life have been reversed, right? In order to gain your life,

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you have to give it a way to other people. In order to like trust other people, you have to give,

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like there's just so many reverse situations. In order to get the most, you have to give the most,

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right? And so there's so many things that are so ironic about life. And so a lot of times,

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I feel like having genuine conversations is giving the thing that you're the most afraid to share,

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right? The thing that you think is going to offend that person. The thing that you think that

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person is going to be angry or upset about and they might be, but they might, they probably won't

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be angry or upset at you. They'll be angry or upset at themselves. And I think it's our duty,

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especially as leaders, to have and create an environment where those types of conversations can

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happen and it starts with us, right? And so you can tell this when there's a leader. Now there's

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a difference between me and Dick, right? And being able to deliver information in a way that is real,

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right? I mean, I was like, hey, you know, Marissa, I was like, what have you been doing

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though the last two quarters? I was like, you haven't grown this division at all.

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Like I was like, I'm wondering. I was like, what is what do you feel you are doing right now that

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is a higher priority than these actions that you've put on that you've rolled over two quarters

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in a row? Like what are you doing that is like, what do I need to take off your plate in order for

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you to do this? Because you're misprioritizing your objectives. And it's in front of the whole team,

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right? And it's like, shit, I can't believe you said that, right? Then I'd turn to the next person

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and I'm like, hey, I was like, you and I, the bottlenecking was an actual real, a real example,

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right? And I mean, a lot of these are real examples, right? Hey, so and so, you've like a lot of

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people perceive you as really negative. And I think that you'd gain a lot more influence in this

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company if you weren't perceived that way. So what can we do to try and remove the things that you

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were negative about or that perceived negative about? Because I ultimately think that you should

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rise in this company. And I do think you should have lots of influence. I do think you're very smart,

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right? And so I think it's literally just being brutally honest, right? Which is why one of our

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core tenants is don't sugarcoat it. It's just say it like it is. And I think the more we as leaders

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can consistently practice this trait, the more breakthroughs will be able to help our teammates have.

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And ultimately, the faster the communication will happen, right? Because speed is king only

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happens if people actually know what's going on. And if no, if the person doesn't know where they

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can improve, doesn't know what people really think, then they'll never get better. And if someone

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can't handle that, then that's okay. But at least you expose that early and then they can find a

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company where people don't talk about real things, right? And then they can, you know, be sheltered

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and whatever. But that in my opinion, we'll have no place in a company that I run and I try to

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lead by example there. And also, you know, Layla and I will usually give transparent feedbacks to

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one another in front of the team. That way they can at least have permission and see what transparent

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feedback looks like. And a lot of times it's, you know, gut jabs or it feels like a gut punch.

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But you know that the person who's delivering it to you is doing it because they actually want

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you to improve and they actually want because everyone's on the same team. We all want the company to

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win, right? And so I think starting with that and realizing why people have authentic communication

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in gossip is because they don't have it in their normal lives. You can foster that that repetitive

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action of bringing the third person to the fold and delivering the gossip. And then over time,

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you can do it in larger and larger groups so that eventually it just becomes transparent

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communication company-wide immediately when someone experiences something that's negative.

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So I hope that was valuable for you. For me, when talking about team meetups, I think it's really

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valuable. As we go into Q4, some of you guys are going to have, you know, your Q4 meetings.

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So that means like talking about the last, in the last, the end zone, the last quarter of the year.

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You probably have some goals that you did or did not hit. And so I think having this as the

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forefront of the lens that you want to have the conversations might be valuable for you and your teams.

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So lots of love. I hope you guys have an awesome weekend and I'll catch you guys soon.

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I'm going to be writing some more chapter stuff. And if you like this, drop a comment or like.

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And if you didn't, you can tell me to fuck off. All right, lots of love. Catch you soon. Bye!