WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.840 Real life presents the Jack Hibbs podcast with intention and boldness to proclaim 2 00:00:05.840 --> 00:00:11.480 truth, equip the saints and impact our culture. Hey Peter, Peter says in first 3 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:15.760 Peter chapter three, he says that we should dwell together with our wives according 4 00:00:15.760 --> 00:00:20.360 to understanding because they are co-airs of the inheritance that we have in 5 00:00:20.360 --> 00:00:25.240 Christ Jesus. Even though they are the weaker vessel, what does that mean? Let's 6 00:00:25.240 --> 00:00:29.520 dive in to find out the practicality of being married and the practicality of 7 00:00:29.520 --> 00:00:35.120 God's Word, molding and shaping us into the person that he has called us to be. 8 00:00:35.120 --> 00:00:39.920 Let's take a look at God's Word right now. 9 00:00:40.920 --> 00:00:47.600 You can get the outlines of this podcast by going to Jackhibbs.com slash podcast. 10 00:00:47.600 --> 00:00:52.920 Today, if this podcast lifts you up and encourages you to live a more fulfilled 11 00:00:52.920 --> 00:00:57.800 life in Christ, then make sure you leave us one of those five star ratings. To us, 12 00:00:57.800 --> 00:01:03.320 that's like saying amen or yes, then that rating will encourage others to listen. 13 00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:08.760 Now, open your hearts to what God's Word has to say to you. Here is Jack Hibbs. 14 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:13.880 Hey everybody, welcome to the Jackhibbs podcast. We are so glad the Jackhibbs show 15 00:01:13.880 --> 00:01:17.800 Jackhibbs podcast. It doesn't matter because we have no sponsors and we can do 16 00:01:17.800 --> 00:01:25.160 whatever we want because we can't upset the people at relief factor or whatever 17 00:01:25.160 --> 00:01:29.080 it might be, although it would be cool to have that because it gives you more opportunity 18 00:01:29.080 --> 00:01:37.400 to expand. But we're not asking for any monetary relief on your end. We're asking you to pray 19 00:01:37.400 --> 00:01:43.800 for us. Please pray for us. We believe that the God who hears prayer answers prayer that 20 00:01:43.800 --> 00:01:48.760 exalts his name and his Word. And we're going to exalt his Word right now. Listen, I know 21 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:54.680 that we've been having some podcasts lately that have been pretty heavy, pretty intense. 22 00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:59.800 And that's good. You have to have that. But I'm not saying that this is any less intense, 23 00:01:59.800 --> 00:02:05.960 but I think it's something that many of you are just going to absolutely love. And so it is this, 24 00:02:05.960 --> 00:02:11.480 it's first Peter chapter three, right out of the good old Bible. First Peter chapter three, 25 00:02:11.480 --> 00:02:17.960 and this is what Peter says. Listen to this. Peter said, husbands likewise, dwell with your wives 26 00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:26.680 with understanding, giving them honor so that those as to the weaker vessel. But as being, 27 00:02:26.680 --> 00:02:34.280 listen, heirs together in the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered. That is one verse 28 00:02:34.920 --> 00:02:41.560 that is pregnant with incredible truth. Can I say this everybody? Those of us who are married 29 00:02:41.720 --> 00:02:49.960 technically first Peter three seven is so involved and so powerful that you and I don't need 30 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:57.320 to read any other Bible verse. This is enough to get us busy in the area of discipleship. Number 31 00:02:57.320 --> 00:03:07.800 one, listen, husbands, husbands, the Bible refers to husbands as being male men, not male men, 32 00:03:07.800 --> 00:03:17.320 but not the male man. Men who are males are husbands. Okay, I'm just, I just want to make 33 00:03:17.320 --> 00:03:21.560 sure, especially for our California, California viewing audience that you understand that. 34 00:03:22.840 --> 00:03:28.120 It says for us as husbands to dwell with our wives according to understanding. Number one, 35 00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:35.560 that's impossible. No man can dwell with his wife with understanding. Did you know that 36 00:03:35.560 --> 00:03:42.520 due to the nature of the fall of man that men and women, what did somebody write? I mean, 37 00:03:42.520 --> 00:03:47.160 I'm sure there's a million books out there on this issue, but didn't somebody write a book called 38 00:03:48.360 --> 00:03:54.040 Men are from Mars and women are from Venus or something like that? I didn't read it, but I love 39 00:03:54.040 --> 00:03:59.960 the title because it's like you can't get in further apart. By nature, that's who we are as people. 40 00:03:59.960 --> 00:04:06.360 For example, men are traditionally, not on, I'm painting with a broad brush, but it's not too broad 41 00:04:06.360 --> 00:04:15.560 of a brush, is men are fixers. If we had a T-shirt, it would say fixer. Not exactly sure, 42 00:04:16.360 --> 00:04:20.120 although I'm sure, again, there are great books written on this regarding this, the suitcase, 43 00:04:20.120 --> 00:04:25.640 the psychology of who we are, that as men, we hear about a problem and within five minutes, 44 00:04:25.720 --> 00:04:28.360 we want to fix it. That's why we're big fans of duct tape. 45 00:04:29.720 --> 00:04:35.400 Men love duct tape. I speak for every man. When you go down the aisle at Home Depot, 46 00:04:36.840 --> 00:04:41.320 we might be there for a toilet plunger and we will leave with a toilet plunger, 47 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:49.000 but the toilet plunger is the second thing that is in our cart duct tape. We might even get 48 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:55.320 multi-colored duct tape. It comes in white now. They got black, silver, blue. It's incredible. 49 00:04:55.320 --> 00:05:02.360 Why? Because the duct tape is the ultimate manifestation of the very heart of a man. It's broke. 50 00:05:02.360 --> 00:05:09.880 The jet engines broke. We're about to launch SpaceX. My golf cart won't work. The lawnmower won't 51 00:05:09.880 --> 00:05:16.440 start. What's the answer? Duck tape. It's always the answer. And so as men, where do we get that 52 00:05:16.440 --> 00:05:21.960 concept duct tape? We got to fix it. We've got to fix it. We don't get us into the details. 53 00:05:21.960 --> 00:05:29.000 That just freaks us out. We have to have a fix and women don't want to fix. They don't want the fix. 54 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:34.680 To them, the fix can come later. They want to sit down and tell us all of the reasons why it's a 55 00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:41.560 big problem, why it has driven them crazy all day long or all month long. And this is my problem. 56 00:05:41.640 --> 00:05:45.480 Please listen to me and we're sitting there, we're biting our nails. It's like 57 00:05:47.640 --> 00:05:52.120 can you please get to the punchline so I can go to the garage and get duct tape to fix our 58 00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:57.800 communication problem? Can you please tell me the problem so I can go to the garage and get the 59 00:05:57.800 --> 00:06:05.160 blue color duct tape to fix the depression? I don't know whatever it is. We're fixers. And listen, 60 00:06:05.160 --> 00:06:10.600 when we're married, we are commanded by God to dwell with our wives according to understanding. 61 00:06:11.960 --> 00:06:16.600 It means this gentleman, it means that we need to learn to listen and we need to learn to 62 00:06:16.600 --> 00:06:22.280 ask the right questions. But take it from somebody who's been married for 46 years. Here's 63 00:06:22.280 --> 00:06:29.160 how it goes. Hey, babe, here's the deal. You've been troubled by something that's really obvious. 64 00:06:29.160 --> 00:06:33.480 I don't normally listen very well. I think you already know that. So I'm going to really try 65 00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:38.840 right now. Can you tell me what's going on? And I'm going to do my best to shut up and listen. 66 00:06:39.720 --> 00:06:45.400 So can you let me in on what's happening? Yeah, thanks for saying that. Sit down. In fact, 67 00:06:45.400 --> 00:06:54.040 let me make some coffee. We'll sit down. And guys, do it. Do it. So Jack, I can't even think about 68 00:06:54.040 --> 00:07:03.320 doing that. Stop, stop and stop. Do it. Listen to her. Listen to her get it out because part of 69 00:07:04.040 --> 00:07:10.520 the relationship between a husband and a wife is the wife going into that cathartic 70 00:07:10.520 --> 00:07:20.040 mode of exposing and revealing her heart through communication one on one sitting on the couch 71 00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:25.480 or at the table and all the distractions are gone. And she's sharing. She's unloading. 72 00:07:26.200 --> 00:07:32.680 And as much as we hate that, we have to embrace it because them doing that makes us a better 73 00:07:32.680 --> 00:07:40.120 person. Because guess what? That tape is not always the answer. It's hard for us to grasp that. 74 00:07:40.120 --> 00:07:45.560 And you say, you're right. It's WD 40. That's the answer. That's not the answer either. 75 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:52.440 Most often guys listen up to be a good husband is to actually do the thing that you absolutely 76 00:07:52.440 --> 00:07:59.800 despise and hate. Just think about this. If I don't, if my wife is asking me to do what I don't 77 00:07:59.800 --> 00:08:07.000 want to do, she's probably correct. When it says to dwell with her with understanding, 78 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:12.600 that's impossible because God would have to give us the ability to understand her. Guess what he 79 00:08:12.600 --> 00:08:18.840 does? He gives us the ability to understand her. Every single one of us, if we're honest right now, 80 00:08:18.840 --> 00:08:25.480 I'm talking to the guys. If we would just take the time to listen and to let our wife know that 81 00:08:25.480 --> 00:08:32.600 we're listening by just a simple, simple response by saying, wow, I didn't know you had that kind 82 00:08:32.600 --> 00:08:38.520 of a day. That's intense. That would have drove me nuts. Or I didn't know you felt that way about 83 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:47.160 Susie or about Billy. I'm glad you told me. When you begin to say things like that, she immediately 84 00:08:47.160 --> 00:08:55.400 begins to understand that you were actually listening, especially if you double back and come back 85 00:08:55.400 --> 00:09:03.880 and say, well, about 20 minutes ago, you mentioned that they wound up driving away, but you didn't 86 00:09:03.880 --> 00:09:09.480 tell me where they went. How did that unfold? You want to make your wife's day ask that kind of a 87 00:09:09.480 --> 00:09:15.240 question. You say, yeah, but Jack, that means I'm going to have to listen. That's right. You're 88 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:23.560 going to have to listen. And so kind of flip it around if you would. If a wife was to dwell with us 89 00:09:23.560 --> 00:09:30.760 according to understanding, what would God tell her about you? This is what we're talking about. 90 00:09:30.760 --> 00:09:37.080 Don't you want to live with your wife and have her understand you? Well, the same is true the 91 00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:45.800 other way around. The answer is how we approach that because we're different Venus Mars male 92 00:09:45.800 --> 00:09:54.200 female different. There is a way of coming to a divine established relationship in the marriage 93 00:09:54.200 --> 00:10:00.120 that God has created. He invented marriage. That this is how it works. And most of the time I must 94 00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:05.480 tell you, it defies human understanding, but it works. Kind of goes like this. Let's be honest. 95 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:11.640 Have you ever sat down to work out a budget? I remember when Lisa and I first got married. I had 96 00:10:11.640 --> 00:10:19.880 an incredibly high paying job and right three weeks before the wedding, I lost that job. My boss 97 00:10:19.880 --> 00:10:26.520 wigged out on me. And then I sat down. This is the worst thing you can do. I'm sure Dave Ramsey is 98 00:10:26.520 --> 00:10:31.720 going to write me a letter and say, don't ever say that again. I sat down and I wrote down the 99 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:37.640 budget tithing electric bill because we were going to get married and move right into an apartment 100 00:10:37.640 --> 00:10:42.440 that I had reserved. I took it off the market because it was a really nice place. Really nice 101 00:10:42.440 --> 00:10:48.200 apartment. He had to wait in line to get even selected. I got it. And I had this apartment. Lisa 102 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:53.000 will remember for sure, but it was months. I was paying rent on this thing for months, but nobody 103 00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:57.400 was allowed to live in it until our wedding night, right? That's kind of cool. That was Lisa's 104 00:10:58.120 --> 00:11:05.560 rule and that's great. But I started to write down, whoa, these are my bills. This is what I'm 105 00:11:05.560 --> 00:11:12.120 going to have to make. Budget this stuff out. Draw a line. This is the deficit I'm living in 106 00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:16.520 or I'm going to live in. How am I supposed to be married and be this kind of a bum like this, 107 00:11:16.520 --> 00:11:22.520 just making the negative compared to the cost? And did you know something you guys? 108 00:11:22.920 --> 00:11:29.640 It never worked out on paper and it worked out every month perfectly. I don't know how. 109 00:11:30.520 --> 00:11:37.640 I mean, we do know how now. God did it. Somehow the income got a bump or there was a little 110 00:11:37.640 --> 00:11:44.120 over time this way or it turns out that this particular thing went down. It was so intense 111 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:51.560 that gas prices. We would watch gas prices by the nickel to see where could we go or not go. 112 00:11:51.560 --> 00:11:57.960 It was that it was that intense. I'm not joking you. Lisa and I for a long time went from eating 113 00:11:57.960 --> 00:12:03.960 anywhere we wanted during our dating life, nicest restaurants in Southern California. Money was 114 00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:10.120 no issue to literally becoming a huge fan and supporter of what was called back in those days 115 00:12:10.120 --> 00:12:16.360 hamburger helper. I don't even know if they make it anymore. But Danny Moore's stew, which is 116 00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:23.000 probably made of some form of toxic waste, we ate it all the time because we didn't have any 117 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:29.240 money. You know what though? We were happy. Jesus was first. We would get our bills, right? In the 118 00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:36.760 mail, we'd get our checks, our paychecks and we would combine our paychecks amount and we would 119 00:12:36.760 --> 00:12:44.120 write our tithe check first to the Lord, put it in an envelope for Sunday morning. Then the 120 00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:49.720 second envelope we opened up was the first bill, second bill, third bill. And did you know that 121 00:12:49.720 --> 00:12:59.480 many times during those years, when for example, let's say I'm trying to make something up right 122 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:08.520 now, there was when Lisa, when Lisa was before we were married, she signed up for some auto shipping, 123 00:13:09.480 --> 00:13:16.200 she had to pay a fee every month for auto shipping of cassette tapes of like her greatest hits 124 00:13:17.400 --> 00:13:22.120 thing. It was something that actually they mailed it to you cassette, a track cassette every 125 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:27.080 month. You got one. It was like 12 bucks a month. I told Lisa, we're not doing that anymore. We 126 00:13:27.080 --> 00:13:31.880 can live without music. And they wouldn't break the contract. I called them up and I said, hey, 127 00:13:31.880 --> 00:13:36.760 listen, she entered into this contract with you. She was 17 years old when she entered this 128 00:13:36.760 --> 00:13:43.000 contract with you. That's illegal. You can't do that. Oh, okay. We'll cancel. Well, you still 129 00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:48.600 owe us for this much. And here's the deal. We owed them like 30 bucks or she owed them like 30 bucks. 130 00:13:48.600 --> 00:13:53.480 I sent them what we could afford $2 a month. Did you know $2 a month? And I wrote a notice. It's 131 00:13:53.480 --> 00:13:58.200 sorry. This is all we can afford at this time. They can't do a thing to you. That's what that's 132 00:13:58.200 --> 00:14:04.440 what we did because we couldn't make it work. Guess what happened? That began to draw us together 133 00:14:05.400 --> 00:14:13.080 in the unified understanding of finances. It was a great thing. Friends, listen, as a young married 134 00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:17.640 couple, you guys are worrying back and forth because of your differences. Why don't you lay down 135 00:14:17.640 --> 00:14:23.160 your bazookas and your swords and shields and come together and say, how do we combine our 136 00:14:23.160 --> 00:14:29.240 brain power and the guidance of God to work out these issues so that we can have this be something 137 00:14:29.240 --> 00:14:35.000 of our past. That's to willing with your spouse, according to understanding. It also means this, 138 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:40.840 and I highly recommend this book. Gary Chapman wrote a book, The Five Love Languages, 139 00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:45.720 by the book. Read it. Listen to it. It's an audiobook and it's an actual physical book. 140 00:14:45.720 --> 00:14:50.920 Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages, you're going to find out who you are reading that book. 141 00:14:50.920 --> 00:14:55.640 You're going to find out who he or she is by reading that book. It's going to help you dwell 142 00:14:56.040 --> 00:15:02.200 together in understanding because God wants you guys to become one. And it says, giving honor to 143 00:15:02.200 --> 00:15:09.720 one another. Isn't that beautiful? As joint heirs of Christ, in other words, we're both equal before 144 00:15:09.720 --> 00:15:18.920 the Lord. We're both completely equal. And God says in that portion of scripture, to acknowledge 145 00:15:18.920 --> 00:15:25.080 her as being the weaker vessel. That doesn't mean she's dumb. It doesn't mean that she's pathetic. 146 00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:30.920 It doesn't mean that she's a little dense. It doesn't mean that at all. The weaker vessel meaning 147 00:15:31.640 --> 00:15:39.480 that the weakness of her is something that you and I actually need in our lives because we're 148 00:15:39.480 --> 00:15:46.760 too ignorant and strong in other areas. When a husband and a wife come together, the husband, 149 00:15:47.400 --> 00:15:53.800 broad brush paint, I get it, broad brush painting, the husband becomes more soft because he needs 150 00:15:53.800 --> 00:16:00.280 that. And she becomes more resilient because she needs that. When you come together, understand 151 00:16:00.280 --> 00:16:08.360 this. We come in with duct tape and WD40, like a bowl in a china shop. And then she comes in with 152 00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:17.240 the dustpan and the mop and the 911 call to pick up after us. Coming together, there is a unifying 153 00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:22.600 that is very, very powerful in marriage. And instead of resisting one another, you need to come 154 00:16:22.680 --> 00:16:32.200 together. And I love how this is to us as an admonition that because she's the weaker vessel, 155 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:39.000 it doesn't mean that she can't bench 300 pounds. She probably can't. By the way, if your wife 156 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:45.160 can bench 300 pounds, you better do whatever she tells you to do. That being the case, I doubt that 157 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:53.240 she can do that. It's not physical strength exactly, but it means something more to this kin. 158 00:16:55.400 --> 00:17:02.760 Husbands, men, you're the one that is to worry more about, I don't mean worry, being 159 00:17:02.760 --> 00:17:08.840 just for nothing. Yes, I already heard you say that. I got that. You don't, husband, whatever 160 00:17:08.840 --> 00:17:15.320 concerns her, take it from her. Tell her, I got that. I got it. Oh, this has really bothered me. 161 00:17:15.320 --> 00:17:20.440 What is that light bulb out there? It keeps driving me crazy. It's flickering off and on. I got that. 162 00:17:21.800 --> 00:17:27.960 Now, can she change the light bulb? She can. Should you change the light bulb? Yes. Just go do that 163 00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:34.600 kind of stuff. Okay. Can you make a souffle? Of course, you can't. Would I want to eat it? No way. 164 00:17:35.320 --> 00:17:41.160 If your wife makes it, let's eat it. You see what I'm saying? We can do it. She can do it. It's best 165 00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:46.040 if we don't. It's best if she doesn't. It doesn't take a nine sign to figure this out. 166 00:17:46.040 --> 00:17:53.480 Each of you have your wheelhouse of strength. Each of us have our wheelhouse of weakness. When we 167 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:59.880 come together as a couple, those things are strengthened in the positive way and they are diminished 168 00:17:59.880 --> 00:18:05.000 in the negative way. It's beautiful. It's amazing. And a lot of couples need to learn this 169 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:11.240 in this day and age. Well, my husband doesn't get me. Have you sat down and said, I don't think 170 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:16.680 you get me. We need to have a talk. And he's going to roll his eyes. He's going to kind of go 171 00:18:16.680 --> 00:18:23.880 into some sort of like epileptic seizure. Tell him, stop it. Stop it. I'll even give you ice cream 172 00:18:24.280 --> 00:18:33.000 when it's done. Just listen. And you talk to him and that's where you break the proverbial ice 173 00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:39.880 and you begin to share and begin to talk. And I got to tell you right now, no wonder why Jesus said 174 00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:51.800 a man, a man by nature loves himself. And so the wife, if the wife is loved, then the man will have 175 00:18:51.800 --> 00:18:58.920 a very happy life. So man, sir, if you love yourself, love your wife and you'll have a good life. 176 00:19:00.040 --> 00:19:05.800 And then it's so true. Everyone, we all know that's true. So I want to wrap this up by saying this 177 00:19:05.800 --> 00:19:11.240 to you. Find out what your wife wants from you. She'd write it down. What does my wife want from 178 00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:18.120 me? Ask her. When you guys get back together this evening, say, hey, listen, I heard this 179 00:19:18.120 --> 00:19:22.600 Bozo on this podcast. And he said a few things I want to ask you something. What do you want from 180 00:19:22.600 --> 00:19:29.640 me? What is it that you'd like me to be or to provide for you? And then write him down. Tell her 181 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:34.360 to go easy on you, though, because we're kind of like three bullet points and that's overload. 182 00:19:35.160 --> 00:19:39.000 Just give us three bullet points. We'll start there. Just give us three things. Not a, 183 00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:43.160 don't let her unfurl a list. You'll never get started. You'll just jump off the end of the 184 00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:48.920 pier. Don't do that. Have her give you three things. Well, honey, this is what I need from you. 185 00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:54.280 I need you to take out the trash, because I hate telling you to take it out. The other thing is, 186 00:19:54.280 --> 00:20:01.720 will you please lift the lid when you take a pee? I'm sick of that. Just lift the lid and then 187 00:20:01.720 --> 00:20:07.880 will you shut it when you're done? And at the end of the day, when we get home from work, 188 00:20:08.760 --> 00:20:12.200 can you ask me how you doing? How was your day? 189 00:20:14.760 --> 00:20:21.560 Three things can change your married life. Start communicating through little things. 190 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:30.440 So I'll end with some examples. Because Lisa and I are joint errors of the Kingdom of God 191 00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:36.200 together that God were married. God brought us together. Some of you are thinking right now. 192 00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:41.000 I can feel it. Some of you are thinking, well, that's true for you, but not for me because I'm 193 00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:46.680 married, but I'm not exactly sure if I loved my husband when we got married 10 years ago, 10 minutes 194 00:20:46.680 --> 00:20:54.840 ago or whenever ago. Are you married? That's where you start. You're married. The Bible says, 195 00:20:54.840 --> 00:20:58.120 if you're married, stay married. So check this out. 196 00:20:58.680 --> 00:21:07.960 Communicate. Begin to work on these things. And so for a man, he might say to you, the woman, 197 00:21:09.880 --> 00:21:16.600 well, I feel like you're always nagging. And your response is going to be, I'm not nagging. 198 00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:23.560 You may not be nagging, but watch. I'm telling you, women, this is insight information. This is 199 00:21:23.640 --> 00:21:39.400 right out of the man cave. All she said to me was, can you pick up the dog from the dog spa? 200 00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:50.520 You have no problem picking the dog up from the spa. But she yelled at me. Did she yell at you? 201 00:21:50.520 --> 00:21:58.280 Did you yell at him? I did not yell at him, but it was said like this. Can you please pick up the 202 00:21:58.280 --> 00:22:04.840 dog from the dog spa? Did you hear that tone? She even said the word please. But nobody heard the word 203 00:22:04.840 --> 00:22:15.080 please. How about this? Can you get the mail from the mailbox? It's 30 feet away from the front 204 00:22:15.080 --> 00:22:27.640 door. You know how he heard that? Disrespect, disdain, just disgusting, yelling. You could have 205 00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:36.680 whispered it, sister. And he would have felt the same way. For a man, a woman's tone is everything. 206 00:22:36.680 --> 00:22:43.640 It's so huge. Guys, write in the comments section. If you don't, if you, if you agree or disagree, 207 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:48.520 write in the comments section. Whatever platform you're watching this on. But I know I'm right. I've 208 00:22:48.520 --> 00:22:56.920 had 46 years to figure it out. Took me 46 years to figure it out. And we also think like this, 209 00:22:58.920 --> 00:23:04.600 I'm going to show my wife that I love her. I'm going to book a dinner at that five star restaurant 210 00:23:04.600 --> 00:23:10.360 and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. Wait, great, great motive, great idea, 211 00:23:11.080 --> 00:23:16.520 but that may not be what she wants. She may, what she needs right now, she might say to you, 212 00:23:16.520 --> 00:23:19.960 honey, why did you do that? Why did you go through it? And then you're going to feel all hurt. 213 00:23:20.600 --> 00:23:28.280 Oh my gosh, I can't win for losing. No, go to her and say, listen, I want to do something to show 214 00:23:28.280 --> 00:23:36.120 you how I care. Give me three things that would communicate to you that I care. Something that I 215 00:23:36.120 --> 00:23:42.840 can surprise you with just rent. I'll surprise you, but give me three things. What are they? 216 00:23:42.840 --> 00:23:49.400 She might say something like, let's watch, let's watch a movie tonight with popcorn in our pajamas 217 00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:58.360 before the sun goes down. That's a great feeling, isn't it? Or she might say, wow, do you remember how we 218 00:23:58.360 --> 00:24:04.120 were when we first got married? We drove through Taco Bell at midnight in our pajamas. Let's do that 219 00:24:04.120 --> 00:24:14.840 tonight. All right, or she might say something like this. I want you to give me the thumbs up. 220 00:24:14.840 --> 00:24:21.160 I'm going to call the local nail shop salon and I'm going to, if that's what you want to do, 221 00:24:21.160 --> 00:24:27.080 bless me with this. I want to go get a pedicure and a manicure. I'm going to put my headphones on 222 00:24:27.080 --> 00:24:33.640 and then I'll bring home on the way home. Sweetie, I'll bring home spaghetti and we'll just eat 223 00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:42.360 in the backyard. Let her answer you. Start there. It can happen, but dwell with your wife according 224 00:24:42.360 --> 00:24:47.320 to understanding. It implies that you have got to be honest enough. I mean, come on you guys, 225 00:24:47.880 --> 00:24:52.040 out, warning, remove from the room now little ears. 226 00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:57.640 dwell with your wife according to understanding. 227 00:25:01.080 --> 00:25:07.480 So many men, because I talked to men literally every month, a couple thousand men, every month, 228 00:25:07.480 --> 00:25:14.360 I get together with them and one of the big things is this. All my life, I've been waiting for my 229 00:25:14.360 --> 00:25:20.200 wife to greet me when I drive it when I pull into the door wrapped in cellophane or covered in whip 230 00:25:20.200 --> 00:25:26.920 cream. She's never done it yet. Have you ever told her to do that? Well, it's a fun telling her. 231 00:25:27.560 --> 00:25:32.920 Well, listen, her mind is not where your mind is. Their minds are not where our minds are. 232 00:25:32.920 --> 00:25:39.960 You and I can be watching the finishing seconds of the Kentucky Derby and your horse is about 233 00:25:39.960 --> 00:25:46.840 to be overtaken and and and your wife could walk by and you have a sexual thought and you have to 234 00:25:46.840 --> 00:25:54.520 hit pause. What's wrong with us? Look, we are falling. It's weird. Our wives will say, what's wrong 235 00:25:54.520 --> 00:25:59.240 with you? How can you be thinking like that? The dodgers are down. It's a little bit. Look, 236 00:25:59.240 --> 00:26:01.400 bases are loaded. It's the ninth inning. 237 00:26:01.560 --> 00:26:09.080 Well, with us, according to understanding also, but ask your husband, what's the deal? 238 00:26:12.840 --> 00:26:16.920 Make your marriage work. It's a lot cheaper than ending it. Make your marriage work. 239 00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:25.800 It's a lot cheaper than paying an attorney. You know what? Make your marriage work 240 00:26:26.520 --> 00:26:30.200 and watch your friends and their marriages follow your example. 241 00:26:30.840 --> 00:26:34.440 Listen, that's all the time that we have for today. The Jack Kipps podcast or the Jack Kipps show, 242 00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:40.280 I keep forgetting which one this is. Does it matter? If you like us, like us, give us a thumbs up, 243 00:26:40.280 --> 00:26:46.760 do the five star thing, tell somebody about it, whatever platform you're viewing this on, 244 00:26:46.760 --> 00:26:53.960 let people know. But we want to bring you practical Christian living in a world that is starving for 245 00:26:53.960 --> 00:27:01.240 reality. The beautiful thing about what you and I are doing is, look, I'm real. This is not AI. 246 00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:09.320 This is, I believe, heart to heart, belly to belly, so to speak, reality conversation. 247 00:27:09.320 --> 00:27:16.520 That's what we're all about. So stand strong in Jesus. Listen, we believe, I believe that I believe 248 00:27:16.520 --> 00:27:21.640 that it's time to always live out what we believe in. And that's why so many of our ministries 249 00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:27.640 are titled real life. Now, this is the Jack Kipps podcast. Yes, we're all connected to the real 250 00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:33.160 life network. If you're not a subscriber free, free subscriber to the real life network, you ought to 251 00:27:33.160 --> 00:27:38.680 become one because it's free and get some content going into your life that will build you up and 252 00:27:38.680 --> 00:27:41.720 strengthen in the things of God. Until next time, God bless you guys. 253 00:27:41.800 --> 00:27:52.360 This Jack Kipps podcast as well as all the broadcast outreach opportunities are listener supported. 254 00:27:52.360 --> 00:27:59.560 Will you consider partnering with us through a special gift? Go to jackhibs.com to learn more 255 00:27:59.560 --> 00:28:06.520 and stay connected. 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