WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.120 I think that there's just so much power in acceptance. 2 00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:05.000 It's like so many people make themselves miserable 3 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:07.120 because they think that they shouldn't be who they are 4 00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:08.600 and they shouldn't feel how they feel. 5 00:00:11.840 --> 00:00:13.880 Welcome to the game where we talk about how to sell more stuff 6 00:00:13.880 --> 00:00:16.880 to more people in more ways and build businesses worth owning. 7 00:00:16.880 --> 00:00:18.320 I'm trying to build a billion-dollar thing 8 00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:19.520 with acquisition.com. 9 00:00:19.520 --> 00:00:22.440 I always wish pesos, musking Buffett had documented their journey, 10 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:23.680 so I'm doing it for the rest of us. 11 00:00:23.680 --> 00:00:24.800 Please share and enjoy. 12 00:00:25.200 --> 00:00:31.400 If you can expose someone to a stimuli and get a consistent outcome, 13 00:00:31.400 --> 00:00:33.440 a lot of marketers and salespeople like to talk about 14 00:00:33.440 --> 00:00:34.720 the internal thoughts that someone's having. 15 00:00:34.720 --> 00:00:36.640 First, they need awareness and then they need blah blah blah. 16 00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:38.720 And so they're basically just make up 17 00:00:38.720 --> 00:00:42.080 the reverse engineer fictitious steps of someone's mental 18 00:00:42.080 --> 00:00:43.960 thought process when they have no evidence 19 00:00:43.960 --> 00:00:45.160 to support what someone's thinking. 20 00:00:45.160 --> 00:00:48.360 At all, I don't find it useful because it's not useful. 21 00:00:48.360 --> 00:00:49.760 Like, what are the things that are useful? 22 00:00:49.760 --> 00:00:51.840 Are the things that are observable that we can drive 23 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:54.200 action towards that we create an outcome. 24 00:00:54.280 --> 00:00:55.800 And then we have a feedback loop. 25 00:00:55.800 --> 00:00:57.720 And so if we have those things, 26 00:00:57.720 --> 00:01:00.160 then we can move the variables and get closer 27 00:01:00.160 --> 00:01:01.440 to where we're trying to go. 28 00:01:01.440 --> 00:01:04.520 And the feelings, although I recognize that they exist, 29 00:01:04.520 --> 00:01:09.200 they're not helpful in trying to edit what our activities are. 30 00:01:09.200 --> 00:01:11.880 I would say there are days that I feel like less energized 31 00:01:11.880 --> 00:01:14.440 or things like that, for sure, not about like the big picture 32 00:01:14.440 --> 00:01:16.800 of like, I don't believe that this cause is not worthy. 33 00:01:16.800 --> 00:01:18.480 But I do think a lot of people have that too, 34 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:20.920 where they're like, what I'm doing is meaningless, right? 35 00:01:20.920 --> 00:01:23.400 And then I get into, I think everything's meaningless 36 00:01:23.400 --> 00:01:27.040 and then we can just create whatever meaning we choose to 37 00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:29.320 because if we don't believe in a capital M meaning, 38 00:01:29.320 --> 00:01:30.920 which a lot of people disagree with, that's fine. 39 00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:32.400 But if you don't believe in a capital M meaning, 40 00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:33.920 I think that's very freeing because then you can create 41 00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:35.640 little M meaning for whatever you want. 42 00:01:35.640 --> 00:01:38.520 And so if you believe you can then choose to architect 43 00:01:38.520 --> 00:01:41.400 your own life in whatever ways that you de-meaningful 44 00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:45.000 and make the activities you do aligned with that meaning. 45 00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:47.360 The difference between capital M meaning and little M meaning, 46 00:01:47.360 --> 00:01:49.160 and this is kind of like the basis of nihilism, 47 00:01:49.160 --> 00:01:51.080 which people have like a very negative viewpoint around, 48 00:01:51.080 --> 00:01:52.480 which I'm not entirely sure about why. 49 00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:54.360 But like capital M meaning means that like, 50 00:01:54.360 --> 00:01:56.680 this is the meaning of life period. 51 00:01:56.680 --> 00:01:59.640 Like for everyone, this is the meaning of life. 52 00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:03.560 Whereas if we say that there is no single agreed upon 53 00:02:03.560 --> 00:02:04.520 meaning of life and then people say, 54 00:02:04.520 --> 00:02:05.840 well, then that is your big meaning of life. 55 00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:06.680 And I'm like, yes, you're right. 56 00:02:06.680 --> 00:02:07.680 I believe that there is no meaning. 57 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:09.760 That is the meaning that I believe. 58 00:02:09.760 --> 00:02:11.080 And they're like, well, then that is the capital M. 59 00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:14.080 Sure, that's my capital M meaning is that there is no meaning. 60 00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:15.080 What's the implication of that? 61 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:19.200 It means now that we have meaning make machines in our brain. 62 00:02:19.200 --> 00:02:22.240 And so we get to create and destroy meaning as we see fit. 63 00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:25.840 And so if we choose an activity and we deem that goal meaningful 64 00:02:25.840 --> 00:02:28.360 because we think it's more interesting or it energizes us, 65 00:02:28.360 --> 00:02:30.720 then we can ascribe meaning to that and do more of it. 66 00:02:30.720 --> 00:02:34.200 And what's nice about not having capital M meaning is that that can shift, right? 67 00:02:34.200 --> 00:02:35.440 That might be good for a season. 68 00:02:35.440 --> 00:02:36.720 And then it can shift. 69 00:02:36.720 --> 00:02:39.240 I will say that the downside of not having capital M meaning, 70 00:02:39.240 --> 00:02:41.320 which I consider to be religion off the shelf, 71 00:02:41.320 --> 00:02:43.680 is that it's more difficult because you have no one who's saying, 72 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:45.280 here's the big box of rules, you can read it. 73 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:47.680 And then that way you don't have to make the decisions about it. 74 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:49.080 But I think it's more difficult, 75 00:02:49.080 --> 00:02:53.760 but ultimately more rewarding if you have reasoning behind why you believe what you believe. 76 00:02:53.760 --> 00:02:57.440 Because then you have to independently come up with your own conclusions about those things. 77 00:02:57.440 --> 00:03:00.960 It also makes it malleable so that if you get new data or new evidence, 78 00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:04.000 then you can change your mind, which a lot of people again have difficulty with. 79 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:06.080 But like if you change the information, 80 00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:09.920 then it would make sense that if it materially changes the outcome 81 00:03:09.920 --> 00:03:12.880 that the way that you believe about something should change. 82 00:03:12.880 --> 00:03:17.960 And I think a lot of people identify with their beliefs as a part of themselves 83 00:03:17.960 --> 00:03:21.040 rather than as what I prefer to call them, which is assumptions. 84 00:03:21.040 --> 00:03:22.080 Because they work the same way. 85 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:23.480 What's the difference in belief and assumption? 86 00:03:23.480 --> 00:03:24.640 Not a lot, right? 87 00:03:24.640 --> 00:03:26.240 The only difference is just what we call the word. 88 00:03:26.240 --> 00:03:29.400 And so assumptions are based on things that we've observed 89 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:31.520 and then we assume something as a result. 90 00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:34.160 And so I would say that beliefs are just assumptions. 91 00:03:34.160 --> 00:03:36.960 And when you call them that, they become less tied to your identity. 92 00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:40.120 If you have an assumption, you don't say, you challenge my assumption. 93 00:03:40.120 --> 00:03:41.360 It's like, well, yeah, challenge my assumption. 94 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:42.320 Oh, that's great. 95 00:03:42.320 --> 00:03:44.520 I was assuming this, it must be this. 96 00:03:44.520 --> 00:03:45.960 And then they become much more flexible. 97 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:48.360 And then we don't tie our egos into them. 98 00:03:48.360 --> 00:03:51.120 And I think ultimately it serves more people better in the long run. 99 00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:54.720 I feel passionate at least about my viewpoint in the world, mostly because I struggled 100 00:03:54.720 --> 00:03:57.360 and I was in so much pain for such a long period of time. 101 00:03:57.360 --> 00:04:00.640 I'm only sharing this despite the fact that I get attacked for sharing this 102 00:04:00.640 --> 00:04:02.720 because there are people who this does rest anyway. 103 00:04:04.960 --> 00:04:07.280 Hey guys, love that you're listening to the podcast. 104 00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:11.320 If you ever want to have the video version of this, which usually has more effects, 105 00:04:11.320 --> 00:04:14.040 more visuals, more graphs, you know, drawn out stuff, 106 00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:17.240 sometimes it can help hit the brain centers in different ways. 107 00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:18.280 You can check them on YouTube channel. 108 00:04:18.280 --> 00:04:21.080 It's absolutely free to check that out if that's what you are into. 109 00:04:21.080 --> 00:04:22.680 And if not, keep enjoying the show. 110 00:04:25.080 --> 00:04:31.400 When there is no required meaning, then a lot of language changes, 111 00:04:31.400 --> 00:04:36.480 which is should must need have to like all of these things no longer exist 112 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:37.760 because there is no capital in meaning. 113 00:04:37.760 --> 00:04:41.120 So I don't should have to must need to anything. 114 00:04:41.240 --> 00:04:45.200 And so a lot of the expectations that we bury ourselves into that way 115 00:04:45.200 --> 00:04:49.040 us down are just implied should have to's musts. 116 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:52.760 And so if all of those disappeared, then in a lot of ways, it's very liberating. 117 00:04:52.760 --> 00:04:57.920 And so for me, in business, it allows me to take actions even though I know 118 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:02.520 that I shouldn't or must not or other people would judge me for not doing it 119 00:05:02.520 --> 00:05:05.560 the way that they thought I should do it because there are no rules, 120 00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:08.320 which is why that was the preference to the book is like, there are no rules. 121 00:05:08.320 --> 00:05:11.400 We can live our life whatever way we want to live it. 122 00:05:11.400 --> 00:05:12.960 And that's okay. 123 00:05:12.960 --> 00:05:14.160 I read a YouTube comment the other day. 124 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:17.440 It's like, hey, you know, you talk a lot about being sad 125 00:05:17.440 --> 00:05:19.680 and like having me able to X, Y and Z. 126 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:21.800 And I don't identify with being a sad person. 127 00:05:21.800 --> 00:05:24.600 I think I have been sad in the past, 128 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:27.120 but I also don't think that there's a problem with being sad. 129 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:31.320 And so I think that there's just so much power in acceptance. 130 00:05:31.320 --> 00:05:33.160 So like so many people make themselves miserable 131 00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:35.320 because they think that they shouldn't be who they are 132 00:05:35.320 --> 00:05:36.720 and they shouldn't feel how they feel. 133 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:38.920 And so much of the medication that gets prescribed right now 134 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:40.600 is because someone's like, oh, I'm anxious. 135 00:05:40.600 --> 00:05:42.320 And why do we feel like someone shouldn't be anxious? 136 00:05:42.320 --> 00:05:43.160 They are human. 137 00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:44.520 Why do we feel like we shouldn't feel sad? 138 00:05:44.520 --> 00:05:45.360 We are human. 139 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:47.640 Why do we feel like we shouldn't feel frustrated or angry? 140 00:05:47.640 --> 00:05:48.520 We are human. 141 00:05:48.520 --> 00:05:50.840 And so I think it's one of the most interesting things 142 00:05:50.840 --> 00:05:53.200 are phenomena where if you have a line, 143 00:05:53.200 --> 00:05:54.520 which is the normal human existence 144 00:05:54.520 --> 00:05:56.680 and you have points above the line and points below the line, 145 00:05:56.680 --> 00:05:59.040 you have the median, right, or you have the middle point. 146 00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:01.400 And people want to not feel the things below the line. 147 00:06:01.400 --> 00:06:04.720 And then we ascribe or label the things below the line is bad 148 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:08.200 and things above the line is good when all of it is. 149 00:06:08.200 --> 00:06:09.920 And so I think that if we just accept that 150 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:11.520 and accept ourselves and accept the feelings 151 00:06:11.520 --> 00:06:13.760 that we experience as things that we experience 152 00:06:13.760 --> 00:06:15.680 like rain and weather and sunshine, 153 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:18.200 it's not like rain is bad, not like sunshine is good. 154 00:06:18.200 --> 00:06:21.800 And just is not like happiness is good or happiness is bad 155 00:06:21.800 --> 00:06:23.880 or sadness is bad or sadness is good. 156 00:06:23.880 --> 00:06:25.120 We just label it that way. 157 00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:26.760 And I think the label is create more suffering 158 00:06:26.760 --> 00:06:28.880 than anything that we ever actually experience. 159 00:06:28.880 --> 00:06:30.680 And a lot of people spend a lot of time and effort 160 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:31.920 trying to figure out how they feel 161 00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:34.480 because they want to then judge or label themselves 162 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:36.000 as I'm doing well or not well. 163 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:37.840 Like a lot of effort goes into trying like, 164 00:06:37.840 --> 00:06:38.920 how do I feel about this? 165 00:06:38.920 --> 00:06:40.000 I mean, my follow-up question would be like, 166 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:40.840 why do you care? 167 00:06:40.840 --> 00:06:41.680 Why does it matter? 168 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:43.200 And that's why when you ask way long ago about 169 00:06:43.200 --> 00:06:45.360 like how much do you think feelings matter? 170 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:47.080 I don't think they matter at all. 171 00:06:47.080 --> 00:06:49.840 Like what would the case for feelings mattering be? 172 00:06:49.840 --> 00:06:51.200 And it gets really interesting 173 00:06:51.200 --> 00:06:53.760 because it's like how I experience a feeling 174 00:06:53.760 --> 00:06:55.720 that I label in my head as sadness 175 00:06:55.720 --> 00:06:58.120 is at the same way you experience the thing that you, 176 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:00.240 it's like seeing green and I see green and you see green 177 00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:01.640 what if all of our greens are different, right? 178 00:07:01.640 --> 00:07:03.520 I mean, it gets very interesting like that. 179 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:04.920 But I think that I experienced something 180 00:07:04.920 --> 00:07:06.840 and if we were to just measure it based on like brain activity 181 00:07:06.840 --> 00:07:09.560 and like heart rate, I would say that I become aroused 182 00:07:09.560 --> 00:07:11.800 in the literal sense from experiencing 183 00:07:11.800 --> 00:07:13.000 what I would deem as emotions. 184 00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:15.560 And so if we were to describe it or define the term in that way, 185 00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:17.080 I think I experienced emotions. 186 00:07:17.080 --> 00:07:19.920 And so I mean, I'm fairly confident I experienced emotions. 187 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:21.280 If we were to try and measure it that way, 188 00:07:21.280 --> 00:07:22.960 and that's how I would say yes, I do experience them. 189 00:07:22.960 --> 00:07:25.440 But the question is just like, how important are they? 190 00:07:25.440 --> 00:07:27.040 And then it would be like, for what? 191 00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:29.560 If it's for accomplishment, not very important. 192 00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:32.160 For fitness, not very important, you know? 193 00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:36.440 If we're saying how important is emotion for love, 194 00:07:36.440 --> 00:07:38.280 which is another emotion, right? 195 00:07:38.280 --> 00:07:41.200 It becomes like amorphous trying to go to amorphous. 196 00:07:41.200 --> 00:07:43.040 But then you say, okay, well, for defining love 197 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:46.640 by what I'm willing to endure to continue to keep something, 198 00:07:46.640 --> 00:07:48.200 then how important is it? 199 00:07:48.200 --> 00:07:49.880 Well, it depends on how much I've conditioned myself 200 00:07:49.880 --> 00:07:50.800 to accept this thing. 201 00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:52.080 So like if I want to stay married, 202 00:07:52.080 --> 00:07:53.400 it's probably far more effective 203 00:07:53.400 --> 00:07:54.680 to condition someone to stay married 204 00:07:54.680 --> 00:07:57.640 because that is the external consequence 205 00:07:57.640 --> 00:07:59.960 of a good marriage as you stay together, right? 206 00:07:59.960 --> 00:08:01.600 I'm just saying we're just purely measuring 207 00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:03.760 from external circumstances. 208 00:08:03.760 --> 00:08:04.800 And so I think trying to measure 209 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:06.480 and to find things is what I actually geek out on 210 00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:07.320 and I really enjoy. 211 00:08:07.320 --> 00:08:08.360 I think most people get bored of tears 212 00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:09.520 when I talk about this stuff. 213 00:08:09.520 --> 00:08:11.360 So I don't talk about it much. 214 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:14.360 But that's the stuff that like when we keep peeling back layers 215 00:08:14.360 --> 00:08:16.200 of like, why do you think you're able to get out 216 00:08:16.200 --> 00:08:18.000 of a difficult place in your life? 217 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:21.160 Or why do you think you're able to go through these things? 218 00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:23.520 A lot of it is because I believe 219 00:08:23.520 --> 00:08:25.200 that I will redefine terms. 220 00:08:25.200 --> 00:08:28.200 And so we'll have some instance or something 221 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:30.240 that I should do and I will redefine it 222 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:32.120 or I'll say I don't should. 223 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:33.120 I can just accept it. 224 00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:34.640 And that's why the biggest refrain that I have in my head 225 00:08:34.640 --> 00:08:36.360 for like my own mental illness is just like, 226 00:08:36.360 --> 00:08:37.880 and that's okay, period.