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Sometimes you have to like your goals more than you like your friends.

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And every person who wants to do something in their life or has done something with their lives

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is going through the exact same chapter that you're going through right now.

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And it's the lonely chapter. It's the chapter where you don't fit in with your old friends.

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But you don't have the achievements yet to fit in with a new group of friends.

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And you're doing all this stuff, right? The fruit tutorials. You're watching these videos

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and you're reading everything you can get your hands on. And you're trying to set up

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whatever your podcast is or your content thing, right? And you're going through it and you're

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thinking yourself like, is this even worth it? Because you're not seeing any signs to success.

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But the sign of success is the hate that you get along the way. It is the leading indicator.

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And what you can't do is bend the knee to their hate and try and fit back in and conform

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because it's comfortable and it's warm. It's like the scene in the matrix when Trinity opens the

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door, the very beginning in the first matrix, when Neo is about to take the red pill and he wants

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to get out of the car. And Trinity says, you've been down that road, Neo. You know that road.

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And you know exactly where it ends. And I know that's not where you want to be.

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And then he closes the door and he gets back in and he goes, they go to take the red pill.

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So right now, this moment that you're going through is Trinity opening the door and saying,

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you could go back. You could go party. You could go the nightclubs. You could say that this was just

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a hobby. You could downplay what you're doing. Like, I'm just trying it out. I'm not really that

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into it. It's just like just something I found, right? But then as you're saying, you feel like a

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fake because you're lying to yourself, you're lying to them about what you, what your real intentions

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are. And in that moment, when you're trying to think about having that conversation, you'll remember

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exactly why you left, why it is that road. And you know exactly where it ends. And that's not where

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you want to be. And the thing is, is that your goals will stick with you longer than these

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relationships. Your goals will serve you more than these relationships. And this is what,

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this is the stuff that no one will tell you. I can tell you personally, I don't talk to,

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I talk to one friend that I have from middle school and high school, right? I talk to one person,

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two people from college. And it's not like we talk all the time. I talk to him every six months or

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so. And so I say this because although these relationships feel like they're incredibly

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important in your life right now, they will disappear. The majority of these, of these friendships

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are based on convenience. You're only friends of them because they lived in your dorm. They lived

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in your neighborhood. They went into English class with you. But as soon as your conditions change,

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you change where you're at, all many of them will fade away because you'll develop new skills. You'll

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develop new context. You'll meet new people who are upskilled from them. And then you'll compare

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them to compare to these people. And you'll be like, man, these are better friends. These are people

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who are more aligned with my goals. They're trying to grow. When I want to work all day Saturday,

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they're like, cool, I'll work with you. Rather than being like, dude, we're going on a pontoon boat,

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like where are you going to be? And you have to accept that as the price. And the thing is it's

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like, it's only if you want that. Like if you want to live a life that is the same as everyone else's,

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then you can do what everyone else does. The only issue is when you want to do what everyone else

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does, but get what none of them have. If you want to be exceptional, by definition, you will be

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the exception. You will not be normal. You will be unlike the others. And so it makes sense that

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you would be in the outgroup. And it hurts as a human being because you want to be in the in-group.

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It's part of our DNA. Shame is a real thing. And we don't want to feel that because in the real,

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in the in the Nate natural world, if you're outside of the group, you have a much lower likelihood

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of living and procreating. So it's strong in our DNA to be in group. But the thing is is that

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you're actually not in group or out of group. You're transitioning. You're between groups.

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And so in that lonely chapter, that's where you can do a disproportionate amount of work because

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you have no distractions. So you listen to the podcast, you read the tweets, you watch the videos,

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you consume the content because you know deep down I can do more than this. And you begin to see

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the person that you could be and realize how far you need to go to get there. But despite how far

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away it seems, your goals, the best version of you, you look back down the dead end road and you

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know that's not where you want to be. And so you keep going and realize that there's no turning back.

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Once you see the promised land, once you see what you could become, you can't go back. And if

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you're not sure who your real friends are, one, ask, is it more likely or less likely that I hit

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my goals with this person in my life? Just think about it. Like if this person is in my life,

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is it more likely that my goals then remove them because it's better to have friends who force you

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to grow than ones who accept you as you are. Because the biggest risk to your future isn't your future

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competition or your rivals. It's the distraction that you insist on keeping in your life rather than

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doing the things you know you should be doing but aren't. Think about it like this. Imagine a

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competitor that you'd never want to go against focused, persistent, always learning, always improving,

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relentless, says no to everything but that which makes them stronger. You know what he looks like?

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You know how he acts? You know who he associates with? Great. That's future you. Now become him.

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You have to kill your current self for your new self to have room to grow. And so it's this

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constant appraisal of your skills and activities and saying which of these makes me stronger? Which

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of these makes it more likely for me to hit my goal? And I just want to give you that frame because

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that like that single frame of is this person being in my life make it more likely or less likely

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to hit my goal? Is this activity or this behavior that I do make it more or less likely to hit my goal?

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And I consistently just ask that question over and over and over again. And that is because for me

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I do love my goals more than I love my friends because my goals will be with me long after they are.

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And so if you think about your relationship with your goals and you put it on the same pedestal or

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higher than your relationship with your friends you're going to lose one of the relationships.

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And the question is which one is the one that's going to serve you more in the long term?

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That's a decision for you but for me I can tell you personally achieving my goals has

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served me more than anyone person has. And because achieving your goals is a generalized thing

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it can open all doors to new relationships. And so you do have to burn sometimes what you have in

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order to have what you want. If you want to impress poor people outspend them. If you want to

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impress rich people out work them. And I can tell you this being in the position that I'm at

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because I have tons of young men who work for me and I mean they hear all the content that I make

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and they know that. And so if you lease a Ferrari for $5,000 a month or whatever I know you're not rich

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and every rich person isn't impressed by that because we know what it costs. You only impress poor

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people. And if you do it really early in your career every rich person's like man you should be

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reinvesting that to get way fucking bigger. Now if you're like an aficionado and you want to have

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lots of cars and that's like again that's different. It depends on the reason you're doing it. It's like

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you shouldn't be cooking your own food unless you love cooking but if you don't love cooking then

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you should outsource that shit as fast as possible so that you can get your time back. It's

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understanding the context of this which of course this will be taken out of context but hopefully

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you watching you're listening to this can at least get it. Lail and I both collectively started

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buying nicer things so living in nicer places having nicer cars. I bought my home which was a

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nice house in Austin. I think it cost me 1.7 million. I bought it in cash and I bought it off one

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month paycheck. And so I want to put that in context to like was it a ball and house totally. It

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was sick. I was super happy to be there but where I lived before that cost me 1200 bucks a month

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and so you're like wait one point said right we spend money but by percentage the amount of money

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we spend is inconsequential. If you want to buy the toys and you want to buy that stuff I'd say

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sure understand one. Whatever you spend you're taking away from the future. Now there is always a

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point you have to balance between consumption and investment. If you never spend anything you live

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you live your entire life and you end up with a big palm money and you didn't enjoy any moment of

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that. I don't think that's the way to do it but I do think there's a ratio there and I think

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that ratio depends on using individual. I tend to always over index on investment because I just

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I want to become a really like great version of me and I think that's going to cost money and

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it's in a cost time and I like to be ready for those opportunities because the opportunities

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get bigger and have more years next to them and there's no masterminds you get to at a certain

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level you just do a deal with someone and if for me to pony up for the deal might be like hey you

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got to write a check for 10 million I'm like all right I got to have that ready for just like on

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the sidelines waiting for opportunities right and so the idea is being on the defensive so that you

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can be on the offensive it's living far below your lifestyles so that you can more heavily invest

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in the growth of the business and so your lifestyle is your competitors opportunity there's you

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and other version of you there's Bizarro you right and Bizarro you wants to live this great lifestyle

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and has the Ferrari and the nicer place and whatever but when an opportunity comes along Bizarro

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doesn't have any savings because he's trying to show face right but the thing is is that every

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is trying to show face for hates him anyways because it looks like he's bragging but also they know

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how much he makes relatively and they're like god he's got to be spending his whole check paycheck

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he looks irresponsible there's zero advantage to being accurately judged if you are strong you want

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to appear weak you want to have more money than people expect you to have and so for me when we did

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buy the Bentley which I bought because I got I'll be honest I got pressured into it they're like

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do come on you make all this money like buy something nice for yourself and I was like I guess people

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buy nice cars so I bought a car I bought a Bentley and I returned it six months later and I lost

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20 grand on it and I was like this is just a complete waste of everything like I just don't care

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at all about this because you only need three things to win you can write this down the balls to

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start the brains to learn and the heart to never quit and the good news is you already have all three

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you're just not using them because fundamentally if you found somebody and they started and they

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continued to get better and they never stopped they would win just think about it from fundamental

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basics like if I said okay think of a person who only did one thing and all they did

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to get their entire life to is doing that one thing and getting better and better at that thing

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and they did it for 50 years do you think that person would not be incredibly successful of course

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they would be then why aren't you doing it the problem is it's never been easier to start a

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business it's also never been easier to do nothing at all