WEBVTT

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and I had a flare in the game. Trying to explain that as it's happening is like next to impossible.

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Going to the women's six nations, how has the process of getting diagnosed, having the diagnosis

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and obviously you're now waiting for surgery, how does that impact, how you feel about yourself

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as an athlete and a professional sports woman? Perfect. And in terms of how that affects my job

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as a rugby player, there was five days of the month where I couldn't function even at 10% capacity.

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And then I had my internal ultrasound which showed endometriol, my samples, my ovaries,

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my right one is like nine centimeters, I think it is. My experience with body image and how I've now

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changed that to be able to speak to myself and be kind to myself about my body image,

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helped me be able to be like, well you can be kind to yourself about everything else too.

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It's interesting I think when you take a medication and then post online about it,

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because a lot of people have different experiences. Yes, that's where Lions can be drawn.

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Yes, and he's like, yes, really quite bad on the stage, a scale of stage one to four,

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it's about stage five. And I was like, Tony, I can't call this like, let's see how it goes.

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Gwen, welcome to the Gail Chat, it's so nice to have you here. Pleasure to be here.

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I mean I'm very aware that you're very very busy at the moment, you're literally about to go

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into the Six Nations Tournament. So I'm very grateful that you're with us.

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Although, no, it's a nice change of scenery, I think. It's nice to get away from the rugby pitch,

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and we just come and have a chat. We're just talking about the fact that I think

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you legs lead a rest down as well, I don't know, I think the doms are real. Honestly,

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down talking is a nice break. We had some reverse lunges on Monday and I knew what I was doing

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them. I was like, this is going to feel bad tomorrow. And then tomorrow was yesterday and they felt bad

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and today they're even worse. So nice to see you on a nice country chair.

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Yeah, I'm not going to move for a while. You can just sit back and relax.

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I would love to start. Obviously, I've had a look at your story a little bit and what you shared,

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you're quite open up socials. And I know that you're in pain for 12 years without any answers.

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So before we kind of get to the point where you're going through the NHS and you're trying to

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find out what's going on, what was it like for you just 12 years of pain and symptoms?

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It's not until now that I have a diagnosis that I can look back and actually be like,

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what on earth was that? Because I think whenever you're going through something at the time,

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it's all you know. And so then it's not actually until you have the time to reflect back on it

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that you think that was weird, or that was not normal. And so yeah, I got my first period when I was

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14 and from the word go, it was terrible. That was very first one. Very first one. I remember

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going into school and like in so self-conscious that I was going to like bleed through my

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pads and I was just like on edge constantly in so much pain, having to change my pads every hour

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in between lessons, like in a bit late to lessons because of it. It was just like all that I could

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think about basically. I like really heavy as well. There was one time and I remember it quite

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vividly actually even. It was so long ago. We had just got our first family dog and my sister

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had come from I think she was in like scouts or cubs or whatever. She came home from a camp and

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it was the first time she was meeting the dog. So she was playing with the dog and I went to stand

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up to go and see and I just felt like that like whoosh kind of feeling of like and I was literally

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14 at this point and it was so heavy and I had to like run for time. I was so embarrassed and

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I just bled throughout and so obviously speaking to my mum about this I was embarrassed about it.

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I think there's not enough education in school around it and it's quite stigmatised and it's

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quite taboo and so because of that I was like nervous even speaking to my mum and she had

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suffered really heavy painful periods or her life as well and she's been diagnosed with PCOS

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but never diagnosed with endo but I think that she most definitely does have endo and so because

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that was her experience it kind of got normalised that it was my experience not exactly the same.

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Yeah and not in a way of like she wasn't at all like get on with it in a situation. It was like

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I totally get what you get like what you're going through. I went through this too and because

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nothing came of her experience with it that was what it was and so I think there's a really

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big piece on education to be said about that especially with like the next generation is coming

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through is that the education is so important not only for the young girls but for the parents

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because if that's the parents experience and they've been diagnosed then there's a gap there

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and it might push the diagnosis on. Yeah no I totally relate to that because in my mum again

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really supportive, amazing mum has been with me about my whole journey but we had exactly the

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same conversation when I had my first period and I was exactly the same as you it was horrific

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from the work I was 16 and it is just that mother-daughter chat of like oh I'm so like she was like

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I'm so sorry I've passed this on to you. Yes my mum just says after this day. Yeah yeah and I'm like

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it's really okay it's not your fault like you know it sucks we're both fast exactly but yeah

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you know if your mum's have got you know 20 30 years of experience on them when they're having

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this conversation with their teenage girls you know it that that's hard to break like I imagine for

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your mum when you went to your diagnosis maybe she that was quite transformative or quite shocking

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for her to for her to reflect and be like hold on actually okay yeah I had the same experience

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of screne what does that mean for me? Yeah definitely and I think you know she's like sort of going

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through manopause at the minute and I think it is probably a bit of a reflective

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experience to be like how different could her experience have been if she had been able to

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go back and yeah almost if she was going through that now at my age and how would that look

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different differently and so in a weird way it's like that weird kind of thing where you're like

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I'm grateful that I've been diagnosed when I have because there's so many people since posting

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my stuff on my journey on social media there's so many people that are like 35, 45, 50 and now

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getting diagnosed and it's like I've waited 12 years that's a long time but there's so many people

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that have waited 30 plus years yeah and no answers all of that pain like I now have management

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strategies I can change things I can speak to people I can have surgery but those people

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don't have those answers because they've never diagnosed. I know I that maybe think of a memory

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actually as ages ago but like in that diagnosis early on when I got diagnosed I remember my

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consultant saying to me because I was 18 at the time and I got mine and I remember my consultant

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being like oh you've really kind of broken the system being 18 I was like what do you mean

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and this one was like you do know and I can't believe you said this really which is like you do

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know endometrosis is an older woman disease which also we know is completely and factually incorrect

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because it's just because the system's so bad young people haven't been picked up on but yeah

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I remember thinking like oh like I'm there must be something really wrong with me and why I'm

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suffering at a young age because they all just said it's only like 40 50 maybe 30 year olds

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and it's like yeah it's only that way because it's been doesn't get picked up often until

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the infertility side of things come in and that's why it gets picked up is that like well

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if you're infertile you can't get pregnant why and then they then they realize and it's almost

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always at stage 4 then and it's too late to do anything sometimes about it and like so

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it's like just because it's classically presented as people 35 plus well maybe think about why

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why that is and it's because people go to the GP and get told no there's nothing wrong with you

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it's normal take painkillers etc etc and I do think that is improving as more education and we

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speak about it more and all of that which is why he's talking about it is so important because

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the more you talk about something the more you can't ignore it and so it is moving in the right

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direction and ultimately then hopefully the stigma around oh it's an older woman and disease

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is proved wrong which it is obviously wrong and but hopefully more people can see that as well

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yeah definitely yeah so obviously start when you're a teenager and then 12 years you've got plenty

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of time so during that time obviously you had the kind of classic of really heavy bleeding the

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flooding I imagine enormous amounts of pain when you're on your period did you have stuff outside

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of your period at that point has that developed since what's it like for you so at that time it's

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really hard to remember and I wish if I could go back I'd kept a journal or something

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that I'm looking at but from what I can remember it was very much the five to seven days I was

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bleeding was how everything else was okay okay I was very active I yeah I just pretty much

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cracked on the rest of the month I was always very very miserable and moved either week before

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yeah but my mum could never tell if it was just maybe in a teenager or maybe a PMS or whatever

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but yeah so that the but generally speaking it was all right then I went on the pill at 18

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and there was there was obviously the contraceptive side of the pill but also the doctor was like

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this will help with your pain yeah and I was like sweet as whatever crack on with it and then I

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didn't really think too much I think at that age sometimes you're not thinking oh all of a sudden

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my pain's gone away I was just like I got told that you're not going to have a period it'll be

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withdrawal bleed and so each month like clockwork and have like a four to five day withdrawal bleed

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very mild pain but I didn't think oh this is so different to what what was before because it was so

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positive because I was just in less pain so I just kind of got on with it and you take it right because

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yes if you've got so sweet this is a horrific yeah you kind of don't want to question yeah especially

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when you're younger I think yeah why it's working yeah like fab okay yeah that is a problem solved

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let's forget about it it was the same time as well that my rugby career was starting to kind of

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let's take off as well yeah so I got my first cap at 19 and I just started the pill earlier

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that year so it kind of just yeah I just kind of got on with it and I was like happy days this is

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good yeah no issues really and I was on the pill for four years okay and I used to get

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doing that time I did get like pain on ovulation which is kind of weird because when you're on the

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pill but I would still kind of then started getting that was when I said again like to stab in

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twisting pain type situation but it was pretty mild then yeah but I I remember just thinking this

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is weird I was I was I remember being sat in like a rugby meeting and I've always been quite

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interested in like health and fitness and women's health and things like that so I remember listening

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to podcasts where they talk about ovulation pain and things like that so then I realized I was like

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oh yeah I'm ovulating or like this is around ovulation so maybe that's what this pain is and then

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again didn't get it was like a period cramp kind of feeling yeah so then I started experiencing a

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bit of that and then when I was 22 I decided to come off the pill after listening to audio and audio

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book I think about like working with your hormones not you know you're masking them all of this kind of

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thing so I was like all right I'll come off it and then that was when it got real bad okay and yeah

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my first period was horrific and obviously after four years of no experience in that pain my body

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was so it's like it's like it's like when you haven't been in an ice bar for a long time and it

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feels like the first ten seconds are like hideous whereas if you do it often it's like oh here we

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go again it's fine I've got this either the even more reason why I think I just sort of get

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to try that ice bar do you say that no trust me you get through the pain event or you can get to

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an ice bar after that's what I really do think it builds mental resilience and you will be fine

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but yeah it was it was terrible and I was just bedbound for like two days trying to do my uni lectures

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online like just like bent over and pain like you know you just want to be in the fetal position

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I was just like double time yeah I was like okay and then but again I think from the

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the like kind of medical gaslight point of view I think a lot of the time you just we almost then

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getting around heads to be like just get on with it just get on with it yeah so again that didn't

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for some reason raise any red flags to me yeah probably because it's I just reverted back to what

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I'd been told yes before I was on the pillars like it's normal get on with it you know maybe you're

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just a bit unlucky that you have worse periods kind of situation and so yeah that just kind of

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then got worse and worse and started to experience more pain outside of my period at that point

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okay and and weirdly it wasn't until recently that I actually like I would often get really like

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bad and like I will discomfort in the morning yeah and it wasn't until recently like when I got

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diagnosed I was like oh yeah I drink coffee first thing in the morning and then when I like did

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a bit more taking I was like well I've just been stitching myself up for the last three years

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nice one but I was like I still remember like love coffee like absolutely I've got a coffee tattoo

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on my arm yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah let me get that that's my

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coffee tattoo yeah so like I and I like love the process of making coffee and everything and then

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I realized caffeine is like really part of the problem that's like that's yeah so I know but

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I got some good decaf coffee beans so it's not so bad okay you'll have to share that with me yeah

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that's one of the like management coffee yeah well I will sure because I couldn't live without the taste

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of it um so just to yeah interrupt so the you've come off the pill yeah you're in your kind of

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early mid-20s yeah you're playing professionally at the point yeah so I mean how's

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how's that imagine it's interrupting gear I mean we've we know it's a male dominant environment

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in terms of coaches and a lot of the staff and things did you talk to any of the players about it

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did it come up at all and trade in um I think at that point at like 22-23 I was still very

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much keeping it internalized I wasn't really okay other than the odd like I think we you know as

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players we'd be like oh came on my period this morning or like like we're pretty open like that

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or like oh I got really bad period paying like we say that but for a lot of it I would still

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probably the level I was experienced and I was just kind of like oh I'm on my period you know

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not like I don't want to be I want to be in bed yeah kind of thing yeah and so for a while yeah

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just kind of got on with it again like just cracking on keep going through and then when I was

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so just in 24 my I had ruptured my ACL playing rugby so I was having for a while yeah it was

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pretty rough um but one of the other girls um who would tell her ACL a couple of weeks after me

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she we actually had like some like standardized blood tests before the campaign before

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we went into six nations and his showed low iron levels and she's always like she would always

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say like when she was on a period she was satin or like satin's arrived that's how she would

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describe it but she he really struggled with her period and um like we really moved around

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it and stuff and so they investigated her low iron levels okay um and a couple of months later

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she ended up going to the Antony Griffiths and then she had a laposque and got diagnosed with

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Endo oh my god that was the first time I ever heard of Endo wow yeah and just for those that don't

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know docks in the Antony Griffiths is an incredible incredible consultant and he's very well known

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in Wales isn't it we talked about him pretty much like he's the god he's the god of Endo in Wales

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yeah anyone in Wales with Endo knows who he is like and outside of Wales to be fair um okay

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yeah so she she got diagnosed then and so I was like oh and I remember like knowing what I know

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now I would have behaved so differently about her recovery and things because literally like

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an hour before she was gone in for a surgery she was in the gym with me no yeah yeah but

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with none of us knew what this what like was was really and I guess our medical stuff

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not so much either because yeah we like she was the first person within elite sport that I

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knew of at the time that I'd been diagnosed with this and so she was in the gym an hour before

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and then within a week she was squatting again wow yeah I'm like did she have removal in that

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surgery yeah yeah um and so knowing what I know now I would be like yet back into bed um your

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band she and I think also as athletes were very high functioning driven yeah like motivated but

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almost in a like a statistic kind of way where we're just like we have to push through and we like

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you like especially when you're injured it's like you're used to being in pain but you still have

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to train because that's part of the recovery process so I think she was just like I can't let

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this effect my knee rehab because she was only eight weeks post knee surgery at that point and then

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she had another surgery yeah because they were like kind of two birds one song kind of situation

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while you're out with your knee let's get this done as well yeah um but obviously and then another

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one of her symptoms was chronic fatigue like a high level of chronic fatigue and then I just

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remember having to take like five six minutes between squats that I just sat there like exhausted

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and I I was just trying to be like the most empathetic I could be towards her

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but little delight realized that I was having the same thing I was going through the same thing yeah um

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and so then um myself and Fion started a podcast um and it was basically it was called

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say it how it is and we basically wanted to just like speak to loads of different people that

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had gone through different experiences and how they'd overcome adversity and so then we had

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Anthony Griff's on the podcast yeah and so this is where the cog started to turn because just before

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we'd started recording he was just saying a few things and I was like right that sounds familiar

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because Fion had a lot of symptoms I didn't have um but she also didn't have a lot of the common

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symptoms too so when we started speaking to Anthony I was like like on the podcast and he was

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listening off it he's like if you have this is isn't this you probably got into and I was like

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well whoa I think I've got it yeah this is like almost like a consultation diagnosis moment

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for you initially what's completely on your own head thinking yeah oh my god yeah

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Kenny is dropping yeah and it was but I think I was really in denial about it as well and also if

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we go back to the medical gaslighting thing I think it's like like I almost convinced myself that I

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didn't have it because I was like come on you've been dramatic you can't have that as well like

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what are the chances that you and Fion have both done this injury and both got this

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condition and I didn't I just talked to myself down from it basically yeah and then we actually

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had him on again in the next season we kind of went a little bit more in depth um and the first

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season we had Anna Cooper on um so she came on with Anthony and then the second episode we had

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Sophie Richards and so like I was hearing all these different experiences and I was like maybe I

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do have it um and then it wasn't it I didn't see him then for never two years so or at least a year

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yeah so it's crazy how like it actually to get to the point of diagnosis like it actually

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took my symptoms getting really bad before I did anything about it yeah um and so to touch

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on a few of the things that kind of got worse there was always been that the period pain terrible

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heavy horrible I started to manage that with um methanomic acid and trans and zemic acid

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which my teen doctor gave me which helped but didn't didn't fully was over yeah it was just like you

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know put a plaster on a big bleeding cut but yeah it was better than nothing yeah um I started

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getting way more stabbing and twisting pain throughout the month okay um that like bowel discomfort

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was really terrible every morning not being helped by the fact that I was drinking coffee on an empty

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stomach yeah um so there was just a lot like I felt like I could eat at anything it doesn't I

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I try to eliminate certain things but I didn't matter what I was eaten blotched straight away for

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singing morning like uh like endo belly endo belly kind of situation yet yeah that got progressively

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worse over time okay um and then I started experiencing this like we had discharge and this was

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kind of one of the symptoms that ended up getting the diagnosis um and I was like okay this is

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weird and and so I went to like a couple of different clinics and they were like SCI

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testing me of course that's the first thing that comes to mind yeah and it was come back negative

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but then I would I had like recurring BV okay so that was I was like okay that's kind of annoying

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I don't always come from but so I like changed my underwear got way better underwear got changed

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all my like a laundry products like I did everything I could possibly do yeah and every three to four

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months kept coming back and so um I probably must have been on antibiotics four or five times

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this in space of a year and then I went to the doctor one time and she um was taken as normal swabs

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and she was asking me a few other questions and she was like I'm actually just going to refer you

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to gynecology and I was like oh yeah I was like wow finally thank you that's a nice

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like kept going into because I was I when I had my smear and everything I was I was trying to say to

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them like I've got this this I'm trying to be diagnosed with endal I was actually saying that like

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I think I've got this and they just didn't do anything about it yeah and so I finally got

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like refer to gyne and then I told you forgot about it because um that was kind of like

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me time and then we had the build up into the world cup and I was just kind of busy getting on with it

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trying to manage things as much as I could um and then after the world cup I got my

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fun call to say oh you you coming in for your appointment I was like I forgot about that brilliant

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and then I had my internal ultrasound which showed endometriolmez on both my ovaries my right one is

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like nine centimeters I think it is filled with blood um I know I was like

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and that was for the first time I think where I started to process yeah what they'd said because they

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said this doesn't mean you have endal but it means you have a high likelihood of having it that's

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what they said to me okay let's go into that yeah because I know um because the girls listening

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someone no loads of our endos yeah someone no literally nothing nothing in everything in between

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yeah so um we know that there are three different types of endos you know there's superficial

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endometriosis there's deeply infiltrated endometriosis and we know there's endometriolmez

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yeah which are also known as chocolate colored cysts yeah now we also know that internal

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ultrasound's notoriously come back normal and show absolutely nothing which is what I was expecting

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yes because I'd be told that yeah and it's kind of a tick-bock exercise but lost as women also

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MRIs can be the same so for you to have two endometriomas picked up on an internal ultrasound

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that's quite incredible and they told me while they were they were still doing the scan so I was just

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like what like wow I was just like just lying there like really because I would prep myself for it

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to be nothing yeah um and I was like right okay I could in picture how big as nine centimeters

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of cysts was like I didn't know what I was like I was trying to think of a school ruler you know

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yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and I was thinking I was picturing it and I was like Jesus well the

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cyst is bigger than my ovary oh my god at this point so I was just like right cool and then I

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came out of that appointment and and I just find it I I had to like run the toilet and I just

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burst out crying because I was just like I don't even know why I was it was the whole relief thing

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that like there's something there I'm not like imagining it all of that kind of stuff and I was

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just so overwhelmed like I just couldn't even get my head around it and then I was like well now

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because they were like ring your GP and they'll tell you what next and I was just like

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what so I had to ring my GP like the next day and they were like okay I want to talk you through

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some red flags if you have a sharp intense twisting pain it might have ruptured go to A&E

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and we'll be in touch when you're next appointment it's and so I was just like

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well I have sharp twisting pain very regularly so how do I know when it's ruptured?

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whoa hold on yeah it was wild we've had an ultra sound that's shown endometriomas

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yeah yes they can't categorically diagnose endometriosis because the only

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absolutely 100% way is diagnosed with a positive fine yeah but two massive endometriomas are

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pretty significant indicators yeah why they I mean I know Wales is different in terms of systems but

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I'm just like why the hell are you sending her back to the GP she's already in gynecology

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I know gynecology then needs to be like oh you know what guys be the sender straight to an endoclinic

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or we do a diagnostic laparoscopy exactly like as soon as possible yeah and so that at that

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point then I was like I'm going to speak to my rugby team around this and I was playing for

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Gloucester at the time okay so all of this has happened is NHS you've done this yourself

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it's nothing to do with the team yeah and kind of kept it like have resported team doctors too

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much about it okay my Wales team doctor is brilliant and I kind of kept her in the loop the whole

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time and it's really difficult with the team doctors because there's only so much they can do

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yeah their GP's like she's a GP but she's not my GP so it's like there's only so much you can do

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and she's resported but then so I just like was keeping her in the loop with all this and I went

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to the Gloucester team doctor and I was like this is the situation this is what they found

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and he was like tell me who you want to see and I'll send you and I was like wow I know which is

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a massive massive step forward I was just like that's really yeah and within like a week it was

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booked and I was like unreal my obviously knew I wanted to see Anthony because I've met many times

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and I was like he's got to know what I get that he's good to know and so yeah I went to see him

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within the next two-three weeks and he was like I've been wondering when I'll see you

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yeah so did he have an inclination them from the previous interviews that he yeah yeah okay

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yeah and so he was like I've been wondering when I'll see you I was like well here I am so he's

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done a line yeah and so went through all my symptoms and he was like this sounds pretty bad

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and and obviously he's so experienced that you know we just tell him certain things and he's

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like this is what I think it's going to be like yeah yeah he's like I'm going to send you

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for an MRI I was like okay cool again the like like pessimist in me was like it's going to be

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nothing on this MRI like really honestly I don't know why I thought that given that there was

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enemy trill was that were big I was like there's obviously going to be on the scum but I was like

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it probably gonna be nothing else like that genuinely even though he was giving me you know

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this sounds pretty bad yeah so I went for the MRI and then even genuinely right up until I was

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going to get my results for the MRI I was like no probably won't be bad wow how wrong I was and he

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was just like well we knew it was gonna be bad and I was like you knew and he's like yes really

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quite bad on a stage a scale of stage one to four so about stage five and I was like

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totally I can't cope with this like yeah yeah it was it was a lot and I think I was grateful that I

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processed the whole endometrial my thing and cried about that because it allowed me to kind of be

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slightly more present with what you were saying yeah and I was like right and then he explained

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you know there's the whole list of where it is and then he turned the page over and I was like

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small and yeah it was like bladder, bowel and all of it everywhere for lopian tubes he explained

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to me that the obviously the chocolate cyst was what was causing the discharge and what was

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causing the repeated BB because of the because basically it was just nonstop bleeding to a certain

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extent it changed the pH and that's what was causing the BB and I was like I'm not doing anything wrong

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it was that was like really validating because I was like thank goodness yeah and so

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then we were like a next steps is he went through all the options he was like option one do nothing

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not really an option option two like surgery and then we started to look look at kind of

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planning surgery around the rugby season and all that kind of stuff um and then he suggested

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Dianna just which is what I'm on now okay and he basically was like this will stop your periods

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eventually and it's actually also stopped that additional bleeding throughout the month which has

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been in terms of like quality of life has been a massive improvement for me because it would

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admit it was just getting me so down of course like I couldn't like west like bikinis I couldn't like

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it was just like constant and I also can't like really struggle with wearing tampons I get like

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BB from tampons yes because I'm really uncomfortable tampon we thought we'd leave this

321
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left side about this is really interesting yeah and I didn't know it but obviously talking about yes

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anything like when blood is going through the vaginal canal you know we know like you say it's

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it's an acid it wants to be in acidic environments yeah that blood changes that it makes it

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less acidic causing thrush and BB into eyes and all sorts and yeah because tampons are so so

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good at absorbing everything they absorb all that moisture yeah and then it becomes uncomfortable

326
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it's painful and then you also get more BB and blah blah blah so yeah yeah so I stopped using tampons

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a while a while ago and then so that wasn't an option so it was just and I was spending so much

328
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money on sanitary products like it was just pain with like an absolute pain but that that stopped

329
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from dying just and it's interesting I think when you take a medication and then post online about

330
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it because a lot of people have different experiences yes that's what lines can be drawn yes and

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I was really cautious about listening to different people's experience because it's all

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individual and for someone it could be the worst thing ever not work but for someone else it could

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be the greatest thing ever and I was having people saying things like it reduces your bone density

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so be careful because within your sport that could be really detrimental and all things like that

335
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and I was like oh no I've just started taking this medication I've seen positive effects and now

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someone's telling me it's going to have a negative effect and I did have a couple of headaches and

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that the first month I had four three periods in four weeks I was just hideous they weren't heavy

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but they were painful so I was like this is what I signed up for yeah but that kind of has eased

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off now yeah so start to get in January and I guess the important thing to say about that is

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what I could put up a really important point is people can be scared I'm good very easily yeah and

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it's important to share experiences but those useful lines can become quite extreme yeah and just

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to highlight again like you say it is personal so if you want to try medication you're not going to

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know whether it's going to work for you unless you try it and you see what the experience is someone

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online cannot categorically tell you whether it's going to work for you or not because their body

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is different to your body yeah and I was really skeptical about it and you know doctors have

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suggested over the last four years that I go back on the pillow that I try X Y and Z and I'm just

347
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like no because I didn't want to do it until I got a diagnosis so then when I got the diagnosis

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I was like I will go back on it yeah or I will go on a variation of progesterone to see if it helps

349
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and also what Auntie was saying was that it slows slash can shrink end or in certain places

350
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sometimes so I was like will I give anything a go especially with surgery coming up I was like let's

351
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see what what looks different from my MRI in December to how he finds it in May let's see if

352
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it's made a difference if it's grown anymore like that'll be really interesting and then maybe

353
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that can make a decision of whether I stay on it moving forward yeah because some of the symptoms

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that I was having potentially wouldn't have poor surgery if it's removed yeah but then could have

355
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again so yeah it's like yeah it's kind of a bit of trial and error but it's individualism it

356
00:32:05.760 --> 00:32:09.680
exactly and that's really interesting as well because there's even this is what makes Endo so

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complicated is we know Dr. Antony's incredible I know practice and consultants in my one in London

358
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in all across country there's really amazing ones but even between them and up top of the league

359
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they still disagree and don't always agree with each other like I have some consultants that I've

360
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spoken to that are verminally like it doesn't shrink it it doesn't do anything to it like don't tell

361
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people that yeah and then there's others that actually think I've actually seen you know some cysts

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decrease or some things change so again that's why it's I mean for us it just sucks doesn't it

363
00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:48.480
yeah like even the experts yeah 100% know what happens and what doesn't because it's such a

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00:32:48.480 --> 00:32:52.480
unknown about disease yeah and I but I think the biggest thing for me is that it's stocked my

365
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periods yeah and they were horrific and in terms of how that affects my job as a rugby player

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there was five days of the month where I couldn't function even at 10% capacity whereas like on a day

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today I could be at a hundred yeah but also throughout the month it's kind of controlled those other

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symptoms the stabbing pains I still get them it's a lot less frequent yeah and more manageable

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and so that's been a big improvement for me and being able to just be an athlete and trying to do

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my job whereas I've been trying to manage all the other symptoms and be an athlete for however long

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yeah so that that's been a big improvement for me and I'm excited to see about how I feel as an

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athlete post surgery yeah and what the difference is going to be yeah and I'm not going to know until

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happens basically so it's and I'm sure I'm going to be extremely nervous going into it but I'm

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excited as well yeah to kind of get it done and well I can promise you nerves are completely normal

375
00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:57.680
yeah I you know I've lost track of him as surgeries I've had now to remove stuff and it doesn't

376
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matter how many times I have it yeah with the same person it is nerve-wracking it also is because

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someone's going into your body and they're doing things we're taking a quick break to say thank you

378
00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:13.040
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383
00:34:34.160 --> 00:34:39.840
on BU's patches you can find a link in the show notes and make sure you use the code in jab 10 to

384
00:34:39.840 --> 00:34:44.880
get your exclusive a list of discounts now let's get back to the girl chat a lot has happened in

385
00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:47.920
that journey we're still going because obviously surgery is literally about to come around the

386
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:52.880
corner for you but we won't pass it because there's a lot to talk about but I want to go back a

387
00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:58.160
little bit because I'll see talking about nerves and you obviously had that ultrasound and had the

388
00:34:58.160 --> 00:35:02.960
cry understand if they don't know who wouldn't yeah I'm wondering if you can you talk me through

389
00:35:02.960 --> 00:35:09.520
the emotions involved in either being sat with Anthony having that meeting after that meeting like

390
00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:15.440
you know how does it feel to have you told all that I think instantly it was like relieved okay it

391
00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:22.880
was like finally I now understand what's going on yeah but then as soon as you get to the relief and

392
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:28.080
you're like oh that's what's going on you're like oh wait but now this is for life it's like

393
00:35:28.080 --> 00:35:33.440
no you've got the answer but it's like what now this is it's just going to get worse and worse like

394
00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:40.240
how is this going to impact me as a person as an athlete like in 10 15 years I was just going to look

395
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:44.640
can I have children like these were all things that were going on because another thing that

396
00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:53.040
Anthony said was you're probably in fertile right now and I was just like okay and ever since I

397
00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:58.880
can literally remember I've wanted to be a month so I was just like yeah right and then he did

398
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:03.600
say hopefully the surgery will restore your fertility for a few years I've got to say he said

399
00:36:03.600 --> 00:36:10.480
right now which is an interesting yes yes yes sounds like he believes with this surgery yeah that's

400
00:36:10.480 --> 00:36:15.920
that's the whole but again it's something that I'd be lying I've said I wasn't scared about because

401
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:21.200
what if he gets in there and then it's like no this ovary is not in a good way or we have to take it

402
00:36:21.200 --> 00:36:25.680
you know we have to remove it or I just don't know yeah because the right ovary is a lot worse

403
00:36:25.680 --> 00:36:31.280
than the left so okay just like little things like that just kind of this so even though you've

404
00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:35.200
got answers to so many more questions yeah and you're not going to know the answer to those questions

405
00:36:35.200 --> 00:36:42.000
maybe ever maybe after surgery don't know um so then I just started to kind of like overthinking

406
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:47.440
a little bit and being like what if this what if that like um he spoke about their being

407
00:36:47.440 --> 00:36:53.040
and all my bowel and rectum and he was like I'm going to see how it is in the first surgery

408
00:36:53.040 --> 00:36:58.400
might not touch it then but maybe later on we'll need to do like a have a bowel rectal surgeon

409
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:05.120
there and do the x-rays and so and I was just like this is not like and I'm not I'm not inexperienced

410
00:37:05.120 --> 00:37:11.920
in having surgeries I've had five through my rugby career but they're very straightforward you

411
00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:16.160
know what you're getting yeah you've spoken through to many people who have had the exact same surgery

412
00:37:16.160 --> 00:37:22.240
like within my team I get it but this was just like even I think when you do like the names of

413
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:30.080
like key organs you're just like this is bad yeah and so that was scary it was really scary

414
00:37:30.080 --> 00:37:36.320
yeah because I was just like what I just couldn't get my head around it and I actually went to that

415
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:40.400
all these appointments on my own I went in on my own I know I know I know why I did that

416
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:45.360
two of them my mum was with me um but she was like I wait in the car I don't know why I didn't bring

417
00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:50.080
her with me I didn't know why I didn't bring her with me um but yeah so then I was just like

418
00:37:50.160 --> 00:37:54.480
and and especially that one way went through the list of everything I was on my own said come

419
00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:58.480
straight from training and I had to go back to training so we had day training I went to the

420
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:02.720
appointment and then I went to evening training and I was recovering from a knee injury at the time

421
00:38:02.720 --> 00:38:07.200
as well so I was posting all of that and then I just found this out and I was I'm captain of the

422
00:38:07.200 --> 00:38:12.720
teeth of my teeth yeah and so I got back to evening training and I was just like in a days because

423
00:38:12.720 --> 00:38:16.240
everyone's like are you all right and I was just like I just got a lot of process right now

424
00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:21.520
like I just couldn't be there mentally yeah you hadn't talked to them about it previously when

425
00:38:21.520 --> 00:38:25.280
we talked about being like younger in your 20s just kind of carrying on getting on with it

426
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:30.960
did they know at that point how serious things were getting or what a diagnosis you were looking

427
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:36.160
up yeah well like at that point then when I because I didn't want to say anything until I got

428
00:38:36.160 --> 00:38:40.640
until I'd seen Anthony and hand my results because again I just was like what if it's nothing

429
00:38:41.120 --> 00:38:45.520
and I'm saying all of this and nothing's there um and so at that point then yes I

430
00:38:45.520 --> 00:38:51.440
I started to speak to my culture small and I was like this is what it's looking like um and then

431
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:57.600
they they were so like so understanding but I just think that I think empathy is a weird thing

432
00:38:57.600 --> 00:39:03.840
with something like this because it's like okay you can be empathetic to a certain degree but if

433
00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:09.840
you if you don't know you don't know you can yes you can have empathy but you can't understand it

434
00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:14.960
yes because you can't be in someone's body with endo exactly unless you've got endo yes

435
00:39:14.960 --> 00:39:21.520
so unique yeah and so I really appreciate like I appreciate the the empathy and people being like

436
00:39:21.520 --> 00:39:26.400
I've got you back like I'm sure if you need me but I do also find it hard because I'm just like

437
00:39:28.480 --> 00:39:35.200
you know you just yeah and and an example of this is um last weekend so not weekend's

438
00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:40.640
gone but weekend before um we had a Celtic challenge semi-finals that's the league I play

439
00:39:40.640 --> 00:39:46.080
enemy we were in the semi-final and I had a flare in the game trying to explain that as it's

440
00:39:46.080 --> 00:39:51.120
happening is like next to impossible and there was a couple of things that might have triggered it

441
00:39:51.120 --> 00:39:57.200
I get flares from max exertion so okay but my heart rate just like is like spiked or peaked for too

442
00:39:57.200 --> 00:40:06.560
long pretty much flare um and also like certain foods caffeine etc can trigger it and I'd had

443
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:11.840
two carb gels which are like basically just sugar yeah but it was hot day so I was like I'm

444
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:15.440
gonna need it and then I just think to chop myself in the foot and then it just went really badly

445
00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:20.640
downhill but trying to explain that to the physio coming on to my teammate so I'm like kind of like

446
00:40:20.640 --> 00:40:26.080
bend over at a scrum and again I'm captain so people are looking to me for answers and I'm just like

447
00:40:26.080 --> 00:40:30.960
I'm having a flare I'm having a flare and they're like you've got this dig deep and I'm like thank

448
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:40.320
you so much but no I was like no I actually was like no I didn't know what else to say but I was like

449
00:40:41.680 --> 00:40:47.040
no you don't understand and then yeah it was like I believe in you like I was like thank you I

450
00:40:47.040 --> 00:40:52.560
don't I'm not okay like I just knew that I would they were it was just gonna go downhill and then

451
00:40:52.560 --> 00:40:58.400
I couldn't control my breathing and I was just like and then I had a panic I was bent over and

452
00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:02.400
I was like this is the semi-final this is not how it was meant to go we were losing like I just

453
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:06.800
couldn't move going to like opposition would score and then we go into the post and I was just

454
00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:10.720
removing myself and circling I was just bent over like I couldn't think think straight and so

455
00:41:10.720 --> 00:41:15.200
at half time again I was like I'm I think I was like take me off put someone out like I'm not okay

456
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:22.000
and then to another annoying thing I put my my oveon had like a hard minute took a minute to

457
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:27.840
breathe because the thing is you can't get rid of a flare when you're on a rugby pitch

458
00:41:28.560 --> 00:41:33.760
still running around and having to concentrate on you but your body's in fight or flight because

459
00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:39.040
someone's running at you if you don't hit them you're gonna get hurt so it then when I was able to

460
00:41:39.040 --> 00:41:45.280
stop breathe take a minute the pain settled and I could communicate more effectively so then

461
00:41:45.280 --> 00:41:49.840
what I find difficult is then within 10 15 minutes I it settled to a point where I could function

462
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:53.600
again and so then I'm sat on the bench kind of just like having a chat with the girls and I'm like

463
00:41:53.680 --> 00:42:00.000
how do I explain that like how does that look you know and I'm sure people don't think anything

464
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:05.760
of it but of course mentally for me I'm just like I promise you it was bad but it's settled now

465
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:09.280
and I'm under control now I can't be playing rugby while that's happening because otherwise

466
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:13.360
it doesn't improve it was real and the thing is obviously I have never done a rugby pitch so I don't

467
00:42:13.360 --> 00:42:19.280
know but knowing flares very well and not a kind of huge amount of injuries but can try and use

468
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:24.560
my imagination massive difference between flares and injury yeah because injuries depending on

469
00:42:24.560 --> 00:42:30.800
the severity can also be really bad but especially with the flair I know that flares escalate like

470
00:42:30.800 --> 00:42:36.720
it happens if you're in a stressful environment if you're exerting really hard if whatever your

471
00:42:36.720 --> 00:42:40.960
environment if it's not basically an area where you can breathe you can try and calm your nervous

472
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:46.160
system you can take a minute even when you do have that they just go yeah and it's like it's so

473
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:53.360
so quick so or everything that was happening to you someone running at you you be exhausted

474
00:42:53.360 --> 00:42:59.520
being hot people trying to expect you to lead them you know how the hell is anyone meant to

475
00:42:59.520 --> 00:43:06.560
calm a flair in that moment yeah it was horrendous to be honest I'm like I've had flares a lot

476
00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:12.400
but again like and when when I mention like the max exertion or thing like it could just be I'm

477
00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:17.120
in offseason so I'm doing running by myself and I'm doing a really hard running session I can feel

478
00:43:17.120 --> 00:43:21.360
it coming on by the by the end sometimes before the end of the session I'm literally lying on the

479
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:26.160
floor like trying like or on all fours trying to control my breathing trying to relax my pelvis but

480
00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:31.360
that's in like people don't see that whereas when you're on a rugby pitch it's like there's

481
00:43:31.360 --> 00:43:35.520
actually nowhere to hide and there's not a lot you can do and I do also think I did well to get

482
00:43:35.520 --> 00:43:39.280
to the half time because I just like I'll get through I'll get through but when I'm watching it

483
00:43:39.280 --> 00:43:44.320
back I'm like I'm not there because it happens like 10 minutes in so I was just like not there

484
00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:51.200
and it's just so cool yeah it's just I know because I I take a lot from like my identity being

485
00:43:51.200 --> 00:43:55.440
an athlete and trying to perform to the best my ability and as I capped in and wanting to lead

486
00:43:55.440 --> 00:44:00.320
by example and then you you're just like feel a bit help this really and you can't do anything

487
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:06.400
and all of the factors that contribute to a flair were aligning and I was like this is bad

488
00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:13.120
and it's kind of it makes me sad they make me sad because that could happen again and again and

489
00:44:13.120 --> 00:44:20.960
again and it's it's not until you know it hasn't affected my job as much as this ever like it's

490
00:44:20.960 --> 00:44:26.960
the last sort of year that it's really started to play more of a role than I guess the diagnosis

491
00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:31.120
plays into that is that now I understand what's going on and probably paying more attention to what

492
00:44:31.120 --> 00:44:35.280
's happening yeah and whereas before I might just like brush something off and make know this is

493
00:44:35.280 --> 00:44:40.240
real yeah there's a reason yeah the information is the blessing and the curse isn't it because

494
00:44:40.800 --> 00:44:45.040
you understand your body better you start to learn your own rhythms you learn your flares

495
00:44:45.040 --> 00:44:49.440
all of that information is power I totally believe in that but yeah 100% it's also a massive pain

496
00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:54.640
in the ass because then you you teach yourself to become more aware and to try and be in tune

497
00:44:54.640 --> 00:44:59.520
with your body and what it's telling you if thing when things go wrong but then it's almost like

498
00:44:59.520 --> 00:45:04.080
a constant awareness of like if you're having consistent flares or you're training hard and

499
00:45:04.080 --> 00:45:07.680
then that's causing things it's like oh this is happening all the time yeah or like every time I

500
00:45:07.680 --> 00:45:11.520
think about it last week this happened this week that happened next week what's going to happen

501
00:45:11.520 --> 00:45:15.280
and it's just always at the forefront of your mind and it feels like it's taking over everything

502
00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:21.360
the first few weeks after having even that initial scan I was like every time I had a stab and pain

503
00:45:21.360 --> 00:45:27.680
I was like oh my gosh that's the end of me trauma what if it's twisted like I'm so hyper aware of it

504
00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:32.880
and then it actually I think it took my boyfriend saying to me like this is the same pain you had

505
00:45:32.880 --> 00:45:38.560
last week like he wasn't devaluing it at all but he was like you've been going through this

506
00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:43.040
before the scan yeah so just remember that it's the same pain that you had last week don't

507
00:45:43.040 --> 00:45:47.680
overthink it to a certain degree because I get really bad like that as soon as I'm aware of

508
00:45:47.680 --> 00:45:53.040
something it's like on my consciousness all the time yeah and that kind of helped me be like okay

509
00:45:53.040 --> 00:45:57.680
let's just look at how I can manage this and I think at that point then it was probably when I

510
00:45:57.680 --> 00:46:03.760
started to look into what can I control that's going to help manage these systems like symptoms

511
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:09.280
to the best of my ability before surgery and that's when I kind of like started to make some

512
00:46:09.280 --> 00:46:16.080
changes and adaptations I guess to try and put my best foot forward and like surviving you know yeah

513
00:46:16.080 --> 00:46:21.280
exactly and you've mentioned obviously mass apart your identity because of who you are you are

514
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:25.280
a professional athlete you're an incredible will be player you love playing for your team you love

515
00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:32.560
playing for your country you know go back to go into the women's six nations how has the process

516
00:46:32.560 --> 00:46:36.720
of getting diagnosed having the diagnosis and obviously you know waiting for surgery how does

517
00:46:36.720 --> 00:46:41.920
that impact how you feel about yourself as an athlete and a professional sportswoman I think it

518
00:46:41.920 --> 00:46:48.960
allowed me to be kinder to myself okay and actually like slow down a bit whereas before I was kind

519
00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:56.560
of like very high achieving on and off the pitch like I wanted to do everything I did online coaching

520
00:46:57.760 --> 00:47:03.440
I used to do yeah coaching basically to help people through ACL injuries wow and then I was

521
00:47:03.440 --> 00:47:08.080
trying to build my social media and trying to do rugby and I was trying to spin all these plates

522
00:47:08.080 --> 00:47:13.680
so basically on days off I wasn't off I was constantly on the evening I was on and even when I

523
00:47:13.680 --> 00:47:19.520
wasn't doing things I was thinking about doing things yeah and I just didn't have enough time

524
00:47:19.520 --> 00:47:24.800
for myself to switch off and to unwind and to actually be in that like kind of rest and digest

525
00:47:24.800 --> 00:47:28.800
system I was just even going to bed like just what am I going to do tomorrow I need to do this as

526
00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:33.920
this yeah and I think them when I got the diagnosis and I and I did a bit of research I was like

527
00:47:33.920 --> 00:47:40.160
a big thing here is like recovering yeah and giving myself time to recover and when you think

528
00:47:40.160 --> 00:47:44.800
about it rugby is a sport that drives inflammation because when you get hit well even when you

529
00:47:44.800 --> 00:47:50.160
were to the gym and you train hard your muscles tear that creates inflammation and then they repair

530
00:47:50.160 --> 00:47:56.960
and that's what makes them grow we do that daily and we get hit in our muscles which makes inflammation

531
00:47:56.960 --> 00:48:01.920
so like the day after a game for example I'm as inflamed as I'm going to be and I've got an inflammatory

532
00:48:01.920 --> 00:48:06.640
condition yeah so it's like when you think about it that way so I need to double recover and

533
00:48:06.640 --> 00:48:10.960
recover his massive in sport but I need to double recover because I've got information already

534
00:48:10.960 --> 00:48:17.280
so things like that start started making me think like slow down be kinder to yourself and so I

535
00:48:17.280 --> 00:48:23.920
kind of I stepped away from the online coaching stuff which freed up a lot of time okay um the sad

536
00:48:23.920 --> 00:48:29.120
thing is it's it took a hit like financially I took a hit financially because of that but I was

537
00:48:29.200 --> 00:48:36.960
actually like I think my time and my happiness is more valuable okay and is going to allow me to be

538
00:48:36.960 --> 00:48:40.800
perform better at the things that I am doing because I was kind of just like function at like 50%

539
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:46.000
at everything yeah so that was probably the biggest thing for me was the the slowing down be kind

540
00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:51.840
yourself like if I don't want to do anything on a rest day I'm not like like my internal like

541
00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:56.880
myself talk isn't oh you're so lazy why are you doing that it's yeah you you need to do this

542
00:48:56.880 --> 00:49:02.000
otherwise you're not going to be okay tomorrow yeah and and I think I'm really fortunate and

543
00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:06.080
they're I'm able to speak to myself like that yeah because I think a lot of people aren't and I think

544
00:49:06.080 --> 00:49:13.440
that's for that takes time yeah you haven't done that 14 years old no no no no with many many years

545
00:49:13.440 --> 00:49:19.280
down the line yeah living with the symptoms and then get the diagnosis you know yeah to use

546
00:49:19.280 --> 00:49:24.800
the cliche but it's time and it's grown up and it's lucky experience sorry yeah 100% and I think

547
00:49:24.880 --> 00:49:29.920
I've I've struggled with body image growing up and I think my experience with body image and how

548
00:49:29.920 --> 00:49:34.640
I've now changed that to be able to speak to myself and be kind to myself but my body image helped

549
00:49:34.640 --> 00:49:39.760
me be able to be like we can be kind to yourself about everything else too yeah so I found that

550
00:49:39.760 --> 00:49:44.560
quite interesting that they kind of lined up because it's like well if you are confident in yourself

551
00:49:44.560 --> 00:49:49.440
and you love yourself then you'll be kind to yourself by letting yourself rest yeah yeah there's

552
00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:54.000
definitely connection between the two yeah yeah for sure yeah and I think it's actually the end

553
00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:58.960
of stuff has made me appreciate my body more because it's like you've achieved all of this and

554
00:49:58.960 --> 00:50:03.280
you've been going through this yeah and you've still been able to do it yeah and then you've kind

555
00:50:03.280 --> 00:50:08.160
of not let it stop you so that's literally my next question as well because your achievements as

556
00:50:08.160 --> 00:50:13.600
an athlete are outstanding and then even more so you think about not just having intimate

557
00:50:13.600 --> 00:50:18.880
choices but from what Anthony has talked about the stage of it the extent of it all the different

558
00:50:18.880 --> 00:50:24.960
areas of your body that it's currently affecting for next generation of women some of the girls

559
00:50:24.960 --> 00:50:29.920
listening women listening today whether they're thinking I really want to go into professional

560
00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:34.240
sport and I want to do that as a career or whether they're just thinking I really would love to have

561
00:50:34.240 --> 00:50:40.080
a better kind of relationship with exercise in my body do you have any advice or anything that

562
00:50:40.080 --> 00:50:44.720
you'd say to that kind of those next generation of girls I think it's really tough I think the

563
00:50:44.720 --> 00:50:50.800
first thing is education okay and I think that comes from not necessarily the young girls but

564
00:50:50.800 --> 00:50:57.920
yes other people educators parents etc because if if the condition is managed better from a younger

565
00:50:57.920 --> 00:51:04.720
age the symptoms won't necessarily will potentially be able to be managed better as you get older yeah

566
00:51:05.520 --> 00:51:11.040
I think the positive thing is more and more now within sporting environments people understand

567
00:51:11.040 --> 00:51:16.720
that this is a condition that is potentially more common than many of the injuries that physios

568
00:51:16.720 --> 00:51:22.160
would may know be very clued up about and because of that and not only that it doesn't last six

569
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:27.920
weeks or nine months it doesn't end yeah and that's a big thing I think that it's an ongoing thing

570
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:31.200
and I think hopefully there's going to be more research into it which means we can work with it

571
00:51:31.200 --> 00:51:37.520
not against it and like a training day might look different for someone with endometriosis

572
00:51:37.520 --> 00:51:42.480
versus someone who that doesn't have it yeah and I'm being able to adapt things like that I think

573
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:48.560
you shouldn't let it get in your way shouldn't let it stop you but like to do that you need to be

574
00:51:48.560 --> 00:51:54.880
honest and communicate okay I think because sometimes I probably just didn't do that bit and just

575
00:51:54.880 --> 00:52:00.320
kept it in yeah whereas maybe I could have even without a diagnosis I could have had people

576
00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:06.160
help me manage my symptoms better or have a bit more understanding or you know be like okay we're

577
00:52:06.160 --> 00:52:09.120
going to change this in again today we're going to change this in your training today to be able to

578
00:52:09.120 --> 00:52:15.040
manage that like the max exertional flares I was having them for years but just carrying on and I

579
00:52:15.040 --> 00:52:19.440
would just be like oh just got a cramps and then I would get up and get on with it I never said

580
00:52:20.400 --> 00:52:24.720
really to anyone this is what I'm feeling yeah I just kind of got through it so I think it's

581
00:52:24.720 --> 00:52:31.760
just being honest and communicating being confident in that yeah and I think in terms of like

582
00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:37.360
getting into exercise building a better relationship with exercise it's that comes back to that

583
00:52:37.360 --> 00:52:41.520
not being so hard on yourself and being kind to yourself don't set these unrealistic expectations

584
00:52:41.520 --> 00:52:45.920
of okay I don't go to the gym at the minute but I really want to and I want to get active so I'm

585
00:52:45.920 --> 00:52:51.920
going to go five days a week just start with one like yeah one one is so much better than none

586
00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:57.840
yeah so rather than trying to do five or six straight away just go with one yeah keep that consistent

587
00:52:57.840 --> 00:53:02.480
and the confidence that you're getting from doing that weekend week out is like I'm the kind of

588
00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:06.800
person that sticks to what I'm saying I'm going to the gym I can see that this is helping me and

589
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:11.360
but also exercise can look different when you have endometriosis because yeah intense exercise

590
00:53:12.320 --> 00:53:17.040
it may not work it may not work it's like playing with fire sometimes yes it is I'm

591
00:53:17.040 --> 00:53:22.560
wondering might feel amazing and the next day no and so it's kind of just working with that and

592
00:53:22.560 --> 00:53:28.080
understanding what movement works well for you and what makes you feel good and just because

593
00:53:28.080 --> 00:53:32.720
so and so on social media is doing for hit workouts a week and they say that that's the only thing

594
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:37.760
that's good it's not it's whatever works for you and something's better than nothing

595
00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:42.720
yeah yeah definitely I mean definitely over the years the amount of time especially when I was

596
00:53:42.720 --> 00:53:47.760
at university and I was fighting the reality of the diagnosis was fighting everything I had so

597
00:53:47.760 --> 00:53:53.520
many days I was like I'm going to go four times this week and I did yeah and then that one week

598
00:53:53.520 --> 00:53:57.680
put me off exactly month and I was like oh I'm not doing that again so yeah you're so right

599
00:53:58.320 --> 00:54:03.760
it's um it's not trying to be perfect or trying to be these people that you think are perfect

600
00:54:03.760 --> 00:54:07.520
on social media that if you actually broke it down and went around to their house and live with them

601
00:54:07.520 --> 00:54:13.840
life probably looks very different yeah so true and it's very like to speak as open as possible on

602
00:54:13.840 --> 00:54:19.520
social media about anything and everything really because yeah it's not all glamour like it's not

603
00:54:19.520 --> 00:54:24.080
and and I find it hard sometimes with the professional rugby thing because it's like of course

604
00:54:24.080 --> 00:54:29.440
it's a dream job but it's important that I tell you the really hard things and that like we find

605
00:54:29.440 --> 00:54:33.120
we have really hard days and those days where we're really tired and we don't want to go and do it

606
00:54:34.080 --> 00:54:39.680
but then and then we're like yes a dream job but it's still hard and any any job is hard you know as

607
00:54:39.680 --> 00:54:42.480
soon as you put the word job in it it's going to be hard and there's going to be days you don't

608
00:54:42.480 --> 00:54:47.600
want to go and it's important to be honest about that because if you don't then people can

609
00:54:47.600 --> 00:54:51.680
beat themselves up that they're not somewhere or that they aren't achieving X, Y and Z but

610
00:54:51.680 --> 00:54:55.600
there's a reality to it and more humans at the end of the day so it's not a way that you've got

611
00:54:55.600 --> 00:55:01.760
the dream office job the dream sports job or even like running my own business I love doing it

612
00:55:01.760 --> 00:55:06.240
but obviously there are days I'm like oh I can't be asked for this yeah I'm not in the mood yeah

613
00:55:06.240 --> 00:55:12.000
yeah you've been amazing thank you absolutely amazing honestly it's so interesting to learn about

614
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:17.120
it's an amazing advice and just tips from like what you've been through I do have podcast

615
00:55:17.120 --> 00:55:22.320
tradition I think you'll be very good at answering this question um so I'd like you to imagine

616
00:55:22.320 --> 00:55:27.680
that I'm not sat here but the person that you are sat with is a younger version of Gwen

617
00:55:28.240 --> 00:55:34.240
whether that's 14 teens 20s even maybe closer to the age you are now it's your choice

618
00:55:34.960 --> 00:55:39.760
but if you could talk to her if she was here and you could say anything to her what would it be I

619
00:55:39.760 --> 00:55:48.400
think it would be don't change for anyone or anything um keep back in yourself and believe in

620
00:55:48.400 --> 00:55:53.760
in yourself because the the reason you get to where you are today is because you are who you are

621
00:55:53.760 --> 00:55:58.800
now um and that's really important because if you change you might not get to where you are now

622
00:55:58.800 --> 00:56:04.400
um so it's yeah it's kind of sticking to sticking to what you know sticking to that I I guess

623
00:56:05.120 --> 00:56:09.600
having a tunnel vision not letting other people other people's thoughts and opinions kind of

624
00:56:10.240 --> 00:56:15.200
steer you off like send you off track just stick with it amazing that is great advice and that

625
00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:19.280
for everything I think that the first all different walks of life yeah thank you so much I've

626
00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:24.240
loved chatting it's been brilliant thank you very much for having me I loved our girl chat today thank

627
00:56:24.240 --> 00:56:29.840
you so much for joining me if you want more content about periods and women's health conditions

628
00:56:29.840 --> 00:56:34.640
then make sure you subscribe wherever you're listening and watching you can follow us on socials

629
00:56:34.640 --> 00:56:40.000
using at it's not just a period.uk head to the show notes for all the links and info about today's

630
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:45.600
guest I can't wait to see you next time and remember girls it's not just a period