WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.000 No one will remember you, and that's a statement that bothers a lot of people, and if that does bug you, then you probably should look away from the rest of this. 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:11.000 And my team was going back and forth on even posting this because they're like, 3 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:15.000 there are so many people that are going to disagree with this, and I won't go with that. 4 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:19.000 And this is not me in any way saying that my beliefs should be your beliefs or that your beliefs are wrong. 5 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:26.000 I am simply explaining my beliefs, and the reason I'm doing that is because I think one of the hardest parts of my entrepreneurship is managing emotions, 6 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:31.000 and managing anxiety, and managing stress, so that you can make higher quality decisions. 7 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:35.000 And high quality decisions are one of those things that compound over a long period of time, 8 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:39.000 because we make hundreds and hundreds of decisions every single day, every single week for our business, 9 00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:42.000 and it's many small micros that can go all the way up. 10 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:47.000 Well, you know, 1% better every day compounded for 365 days is 37X, what you started, 11 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:52.000 and you know, 10%, or 1.1% worse, goes down to zero at the end of the year. 12 00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:58.000 And so managing my mental state has been a continuous learning experience for me, 13 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:05.000 and the set of beliefs that sits at the core of that is what I would consider optimistic nihilism. 14 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:10.000 And to be clear here, there's a lot of people who feel like nihilism is a really negative thing, 15 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:13.000 and that's because they ascribe some sort of meaning to the word, 16 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:16.000 but it really is just that you don't think that things have inherent meaning. 17 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:18.000 It doesn't mean that there isn't any meaning in the world. 18 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:21.000 It doesn't mean that there is a global meaning that we all have to agree to. 19 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:25.000 As a result of that, there are downstream implications that affect my behavior, 20 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:30.000 and I think have positioned me to be less stressed about things that come up, 21 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:32.000 and as a result, pick better business decisions. 22 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:34.000 And so this is why I should. 23 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:37.000 And if only some of these things make sense for you, awesome. 24 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:39.000 None of it makes sense for you, awesome. 25 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:41.000 If it all makes sense for you, awesome. 26 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:47.000 So the big picture for me was a lot of people take a lot of work and stress a lot about what other people think about them. 27 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:50.000 And I'm not going to say that I'm here, like I don't care what anyone else thinks. 28 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:51.000 That's not true at all. 29 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:57.000 I think I use these frameworks to try and remind myself that other people's opinions don't matter as much, 30 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:58.000 as I think they do. 31 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:01.000 And for me, reminding myself that I'm insignificant, 32 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:06.000 and in the long and eventual universal scale, I'm a relevant, 33 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:09.000 allows me to look at my failures and laugh a little bit. 34 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:13.000 And so rather than say, oh my god, this is the end of the world, 35 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:17.000 it's really on a 500 million year time horizon, 36 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:20.000 I am a being that exists for a blip of time, 37 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:22.000 and then we'll disappear from existence. 38 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:24.000 And one of the things I was telling a friend of mine, 39 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:26.000 as he was telling me all the things that were stressing him out, 40 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:28.000 said, you know, if you zoom out far enough, 41 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:30.000 you can't even see the earth. 42 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:32.000 And he started laughing, and we both started laughing together, 43 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:35.000 because it's like, we like to exaggerate these things in our mind, 44 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:37.000 because that's what our brains train to do. 45 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:39.000 So it keeps us alive as making things seem into problems. 46 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:41.000 They've actually tested this as that, like, 47 00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:44.000 you will still always find the same number of problems, 48 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:45.000 whether they're rich people problems, 49 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:46.000 or they're poor people problems, 50 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:48.000 they are still problems nonetheless. 51 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:53.000 And so at least realizing that allows me to not judge the fact 52 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:56.000 that I have problems as it being bad, 53 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:58.000 because if I don't believe things have inherent meaning, 54 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:01.000 that it means that I can control the meaning I've described to things. 55 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:05.000 And so for example, let's say that I get into a car accident, 56 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:08.000 that would be for most people a bad experience. 57 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:11.000 Now, how you look at that can depend. 58 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:13.000 It could be like, okay, well, there's law of large numbers. 59 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:14.000 I've been alive for this many days. 60 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:16.000 It's probably when I'm winning in one of these accidents. 61 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:20.000 On the flip side, you could also think, hey, you know, how amazing. 62 00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:22.000 I got to experience this part of the human experience. 63 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:25.000 I got to check that off the list of things that I got to survive. 64 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:28.000 Right? Like crazy to think about something like that, 65 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:29.000 but like, what else are you going to do? 66 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:31.000 Would you rather just like sit there and sulk 67 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:33.000 and just say, like, this is ruined my life? 68 00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:35.000 Like, I don't think that's going to be an advantageous response. 69 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:38.000 And so the core of all of these things that I have 70 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:42.000 sits from the fact that I can create and destroy meaning as I see fit. 71 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:43.000 Number one. 72 00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:46.000 And the big wrapper for this whole thing is that 73 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:48.000 entrepreneurship is a stressful road. 74 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:50.000 And so if you're somebody who like gets stressed out 75 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:52.000 or feels anxiety or fears overwhelmed, 76 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:55.000 then these are the tools that I've used in my toolbox 77 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:57.000 to combat those things when they come up. 78 00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:00.000 So this is going to be a list of mental frameworks 79 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:04.000 that I apply to diffuse stressful situations in my life. 80 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:07.000 And so let's start from the top. 81 00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:10.000 Number one is that I don't believe that things have inherent meaning. 82 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:15.000 I see them much more like the weather, meaning some people say sunny days are good 83 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:18.000 and rainy days are bad when they are really just weather. 84 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:21.000 Because if you are in a drought, a rainy day is good 85 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:24.000 and if you on a drought, a sunny day is bad. 86 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:26.000 And the flip side would be reversed if it was your wedding. 87 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:27.000 Right? 88 00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:31.000 And so the only thing that has happened is just a circumstance or a condition. 89 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:33.000 And then we have scribe meaning to that thing. 90 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:35.000 And so if we can control what that meaning is, 91 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:39.000 then it means we can influence our own emotional response to it. 92 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:42.000 And if the whole idea of being a good decision maker 93 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:44.000 is controlling our emotional response, 94 00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:46.000 then having tools like this can be really helpful. 95 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:48.000 The next one is that a lot of people like to say, 96 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:50.000 if it's not going to matter in five years, 97 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:52.000 it shouldn't matter for five seconds or whatever it is. 98 00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:54.000 I like to take that a bit further and say, 99 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:56.000 if it's not going to matter in 500 million years, 100 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:58.000 it shouldn't matter for five seconds. 101 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:00.000 Now, some people take that and think, 102 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.000 wow, then you don't think anything has meaning. 103 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.000 And the answer is yes. 104 00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:04.000 That is the point. 105 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:06.000 And so for you, it might be a bad day, 106 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:07.000 but it's going like, 107 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:09.000 we are all going to eventually be forgotten. 108 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:11.000 And as much as that bothers people, 109 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:14.000 it's like, do you know who your great-great-grandparent is? 110 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.000 You probably don't even know their name. 111 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:17.000 You probably don't even know their name. 112 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:18.000 Let alone anything about them. 113 00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:19.000 You probably don't even know their name. 114 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:22.000 And we have this because we're so self-centered, 115 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:25.000 think that everyone around us is going to sing our praises 116 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:26.000 and hang our pictures on the wall 117 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:28.000 and just sink them by out of us every single night 118 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:29.000 after we're gone. 119 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:30.000 And the real real is, 120 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:32.000 why do we give a shit if we claim to not care 121 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:34.000 about what other people think? 122 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:37.000 Why would we care what they do and talk about us 123 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:40.000 after we're dead, right? 124 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:41.000 Real quick, guys, 125 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:44.000 I have a special, special gift for you 126 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:47.000 for being loyal listeners of the podcast. 127 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:49.000 Layla and I spent probably an entire quarter 128 00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:52.000 putting together our scaling roadmap. 129 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:55.000 It's breaking scaling into 10 stages 130 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:58.000 and across all eight functions of the business. 131 00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:00.000 So you've got marketing, you've got sales, 132 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:02.000 you've got product, you've got customer success, 133 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:04.000 you've got IT, you've got recruiting, you've got HR, 134 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:05.000 you've got finance. 135 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:07.000 And we show the problems that emerged at every level of scale 136 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:09.000 and how to graduate to the next level. 137 00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:12.000 It's all free and you can get it personalized to you 138 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:15.000 since about 30-ish pages for each of the stages. 139 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:16.000 Once you answer the questions, 140 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:18.000 it will tell you exactly where you're at 141 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:20.000 and what you need to do to grow. 142 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:23.000 It's about 14 hours of stuff, but it's narrowed down 143 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:25.000 so that you only have to watch the part that's relevant 144 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:27.000 to you, which will probably be about 90 minutes. 145 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:28.000 And so if that's at all interesting, 146 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:31.000 you can go to acquisition.com forward slash road map, 147 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:34.000 ROAD map, road map. 148 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:37.000 And so I'm going to talk to you about 149 00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:39.000 a lovely lady named Betty White. 150 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:42.000 So Betty White was somebody who was really early 151 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:45.000 on race integration, she was a golden gal, 152 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:48.000 a huge, huge personality, she lived in 99, 153 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:50.000 didn't make it 200, which is sad. 154 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:53.000 You probably haven't thought about her until I brought this up. 155 00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:55.000 And she died about a year ago. 156 00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:58.000 And the thing is, is that she lived an amazing life 157 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:01.000 and incredibly public life, very financially successful, 158 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:03.000 the top of her skill, beloved by all, 159 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:05.000 and A, you either forgot about her or B, 160 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:07.000 you didn't even know her name or you knew it with. 161 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:10.000 And so how arrogant are we to think that now, 162 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.000 everyone on earth is going to remember us. 163 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:15.000 Like you probably don't even know any Indian celebrities. 164 00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:17.000 At all, we're alive today. 165 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:19.000 You probably don't even know any Chinese celebrities 166 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:20.000 who are alive today. 167 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:22.000 Probably don't know any Russian celebrities 168 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:24.000 who are alive right now. 169 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:25.000 Right? 170 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:27.000 And so we're so arrogant that like, 171 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:28.000 not only do you think that like, 172 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:29.000 we're going to matter after we die, 173 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:31.000 you probably don't even matter right now. 174 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:32.000 And those are the celebrities, 175 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:33.000 forget the normal people. 176 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:34.000 Right? 177 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:35.000 It's just ego. 178 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:36.000 And this is why I think so many people 179 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:38.000 get bothered by a lot of the stuff that I say here 180 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.000 is because they want to reject it 181 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:42.000 because it makes them feel bad. 182 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:44.000 The idea that they don't matter. 183 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:46.000 Now obviously there's going to be a lot of counter people 184 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:48.000 that wear shirts that say you matter. 185 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:51.000 And I don't agree. 186 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:53.000 And I think by thinking that way, 187 00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:56.000 you set yourself up to be upset at the world. 188 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:00.000 Because it means that you feel anything as a slight. 189 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:03.000 Because the underpinning of ceiling like you matter 190 00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:05.000 is that you deserve things. 191 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:07.000 And I hate the word deserve 192 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:09.000 because it sets an expectation 193 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:12.000 that we are bound to not see fulfilled. 194 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:15.000 And so if you see suffering as unmet expectations, 195 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.000 you can either change the conditions 196 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:19.000 or you can change the expectations. 197 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:21.000 And one of them happens in your mind 198 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:24.000 and the other one forces the entire world to change. 199 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:26.000 And the crazy thing is people will demand 200 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:28.000 that a universe who doesn't know they exist 201 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:31.000 or care change to their will which it won't. 202 00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:33.000 And so they self inflict their own suffering 203 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:36.000 or anxiety or overwhelm when they're in business. 204 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.000 It's not fair that this competitor down the street 205 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:39.000 opened up. 206 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.000 It's not fair that they're copying my ads. 207 00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:43.000 It's not fair that they're undercutting my prices. 208 00:08:43.000 --> 00:08:45.000 You're describing a meaning to it. 209 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:46.000 All that we know is that it happened. 210 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:47.000 That's it. 211 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:50.000 And so we could say how cool it is 212 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:52.000 that I get to have this experience of competing with somebody 213 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:53.000 so I can tell the story later. 214 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:55.000 Because at the end of the day, 215 00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:57.000 we're all going to just collect our experiences 216 00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:59.000 and then we're just going to cast them in and then die. 217 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:02.000 And so again, this is not meant to trigger anyone. 218 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:04.000 This is just how I view the world 219 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:06.000 and has been helpful for me. 220 00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:07.000 Because on another level, 221 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:09.000 like as our current underpinning exists of the universe, 222 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:11.000 the sun is going to continue expanding 223 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:14.000 until eventually engulfs the Earth and we all die in a heat death. 224 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:16.000 Unless we become a multi-planetary species, 225 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:19.000 all of the stuff that we're going to do everything they've ever done, 226 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:21.000 the books that I write, the videos that I make, 227 00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:23.000 will eventually all get melted into nothingness. 228 00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:27.000 And so when we have this worry that one of our videos 229 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:29.000 or our post didn't get a lot of likes, 230 00:09:29.000 --> 00:09:31.000 it just really doesn't matter. 231 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:34.000 And I'm not saying that I don't feel the feelings. 232 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.000 I'm saying I remind myself of these things 233 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:39.000 so that I don't feel them as much or as long. 234 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:43.000 So let's imagine something bad has happened today in this moment. 235 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:46.000 Now, I'm going to take you through a timeline. 236 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:48.000 So if we go three months into the future, 237 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:50.000 it probably won't matter that much. 238 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:52.000 And here's how I'll prove it to you. 239 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:55.000 Can you think of something that happened three months ago that bothered you? 240 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:56.000 Does it bother you now? 241 00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:57.000 Probably not. 242 00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:00.000 So we can use that evidence to project in the future 243 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.000 that the current moment won't matter then. 244 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:04.000 And if it's not going to matter then, why should it matter now? 245 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:07.000 I believe number three is that your legacy doesn't matter. 246 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:11.000 So number one, let's assume that you define legacy 247 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:13.000 as material assets that you accumulate. 248 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:15.000 So the F degree of this, 249 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:17.000 and this is something that I'm fortunate to be able to share with you, 250 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:20.000 is that my great, great, great grandfather 251 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:24.000 was a ruler of the Kajar dynasty in Iran. 252 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:28.000 And so he had 400 kids, so I'm not that related to him. 253 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:32.000 Just like your progeny won't be that related to you either. 254 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:34.000 Anyways, great, great grandfather. 255 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:36.000 I actually keep forgetting his name. 256 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:37.000 Guy was a king, right? 257 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:38.000 I don't even remember his name. 258 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:41.000 And yeah, like any conquered the fucking world 259 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:43.000 or born into it doesn't really matter, right? 260 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:46.000 He sat on the top of material wealth and power. 261 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:49.000 And me, four or five generations later, 262 00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:50.000 don't even know his name. 263 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:52.000 I know the dynasty was brought up, right? 264 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:54.000 And so I think it was almost fun. 265 00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:55.000 I think it was his name. 266 00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:58.000 Anyways, point being, I don't think about him every day. 267 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:00.000 I think about him literally only to make these about how it doesn't matter. 268 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:03.000 And so your progeny probably won't think about you. 269 00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:07.000 And so when you die and then you pass your stuff on, 270 00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:10.000 part of people were like, okay, well, I have my material assets. 271 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:12.000 Well, okay, well, those are going to get divided up as many times over 272 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:15.000 and get fought over with a bunch of people who don't know how to make money or manage money 273 00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:16.000 until eventually gets squandered. 274 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:18.000 So we know that's going to happen on a long enough time horizon. 275 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:19.000 Okay, great. 276 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:20.000 Check that box out. 277 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:24.000 Now let's talk about your values and your beliefs, right? 278 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:26.000 And that's what you see as your new legacy, 279 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:29.000 which I think is a more noble legacy if we had to compare the tip. 280 00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:31.000 But even then, let's do the second version of legacy, 281 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:33.000 which is just having children in general. 282 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:35.000 Is that you're like, I want to proliferate my genes, 283 00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:37.000 which is super Darwinian of you, which is awesome. 284 00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:39.000 If you want to call it awesome, or it can be bad, or it can be whatever you want. 285 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:41.000 And so let's say you have lots of kids. 286 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.000 And let's see those kids have lots of kids. 287 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:44.000 And let's see those kids have lots of kids and lots of kids and lots of kids. 288 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:45.000 Well, guess what happens? 289 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:47.000 Is that five generations from now, 290 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:51.000 you're one half to the fifth related to those people. 291 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:52.000 They're 164th to you. 292 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:54.000 And that's like five generations. It's not that much, right? 293 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:56.000 Like you're just great, great grandfather. 294 00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:57.000 That's all that is. 295 00:11:57.000 --> 00:11:59.000 Like talk about like great, great, great, great, great, great, great. 296 00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:03.000 There are one 1,000th you. 297 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:05.000 Are they really related to you? 298 00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:06.000 Are they just humans? 299 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:09.000 If they're just humans, which means that the eventuality of this equation, 300 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:13.000 if you just keep adding the numbers, is that your progeny will just be humans. 301 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:16.000 Then if you care so much about them, you might as well just care about everybody today. 302 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:19.000 Ah, kind of nice when you think about that way. 303 00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:22.000 And so that's the genetic argument. 304 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:27.000 Okay, number four, leaving things to your kids doesn't benefit them for a variety of reasons. 305 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:31.000 Number one is that timing of when you give it to them probably won't matter. 306 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:32.000 Here's some stats for you. 307 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:36.000 So the average person gets insurance in their late 60s 308 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:39.000 because their parents die in their late 80s or whatever. 309 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:44.000 And when that happens, they already are old and don't need the money. 310 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:47.000 So if you are going to give your stuff to your kids, 311 00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:51.000 you should give it to them when people deem it the most impactful in the lives, 312 00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:54.000 which is between 24 and 35. 313 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:57.000 Because that is where you can materially change someone's living conditions, 314 00:12:57.000 --> 00:13:00.000 the education that they can provide to their kids, whether they can have child care. 315 00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:02.000 Those are huge changes in someone's life when they're in their 60s. 316 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:04.000 Their die is more or less cast, right? 317 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:07.000 And so one, if you're going to leave it to them, 318 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:09.000 leave it to them one of the time it's impactful. 319 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:13.000 Two, leaving it to someone in general or giving it to someone in general 320 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:15.000 when someone hasn't earned it, 321 00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:17.000 tends to alter their behavior in a negative way. 322 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:21.000 So how many people I've seen like the trust fund kids that just completely lose their minds 323 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:25.000 and suspend all their money and get into drugs because they have no challenge. 324 00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:27.000 They have no hardships. 325 00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:29.000 Everything has been removed from their lives. 326 00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:32.000 And then basically the real hardship becomes themselves. 327 00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:38.000 And so I think we benefit from struggle on a character development perspective 328 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:41.000 and I see money as potential energy to be exchanged. 329 00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:45.000 And so if you give someone who's not prepared for a gobb of potential energy 330 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:47.000 that they did not earn or learned how to wield, 331 00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:50.000 it will ultimately burn them up and consume them. 332 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:54.000 Number five is law of large numbers, which is, let's say you have a bad day. 333 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:57.000 A lot of people want to say, I need to change everything about my life because I had a bad day. 334 00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:59.000 But if I were to say, hey, you have 365 days in a year 335 00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:01.000 and a top, you know, a bottom 10% day, 336 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:03.000 do you expect that to be a good feeling day? 337 00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:04.000 Well, no. Okay. 338 00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:07.000 Well, 365 days, bottom 10% days, we 36 days a year. 339 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.000 Well, there's 12 months in a year. 340 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:13.000 That would mean that you'd have three of those per month, almost one a week. 341 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:14.000 Wow. 342 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:17.000 I get a bottom 10% day once a week. 343 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:19.000 Well, that sucks. 344 00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:22.000 Yeah. On the flip side, you have top 10% days once a week too. 345 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:26.000 And so I see these things because a lot of times we want to change our behavior 346 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:30.000 and attribute some outside force that something happened when it might just be randomness. 347 00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:34.000 Like if you have 365 days, you're going to have top 10% days 348 00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:37.000 and bottom 10% days with the exact same conditions. 349 00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:38.000 So does it mean anything? 350 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:39.000 Not really. 351 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:42.000 And so for me, that helps me deal with the fact that sometimes I'm like, 352 00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:44.000 oh, this is a bottom 10% day. 353 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:45.000 It's all this. 354 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:46.000 Don't change anything. 355 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:47.000 Bottom 10% day. 356 00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:50.000 I'll give you another one that I borrow called the frame of the veteran, 357 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:53.000 which is from my good friend Dr. Cashy, which I think this is number six, 358 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:58.000 which is if something bad happens, imagine that has already happened a thousand times before. 359 00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:01.000 And I will tell you the first time I ever use this, because how ridiculous this is. 360 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:03.000 So I got this new flannel, I know. 361 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:06.000 And my housekeeper cleaned it incorrectly. 362 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:10.000 And so it's like a nice material and a trunk, which obviously looked even better. 363 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:11.000 I'm kidding. 364 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:16.000 Anyways, part of it was that it shrunk and then it also just wasn't like soft anymore. 365 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:18.000 It got like all like those little like hairy beads all over. 366 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:19.000 It's like when you wash wool. 367 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:21.000 And in the moment, it was an expensive flannel. 368 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:22.000 And I was kind of annoyed. 369 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:24.000 And then I remembered the frame of the veteran. 370 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:27.000 And I was like, okay, what if every time I washed a flannel, 371 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:28.000 it always became like this. 372 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:30.000 And every flannel I had was this way. 373 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:31.000 And this is just how flannels were. 374 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:32.000 What would I think? 375 00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:34.000 And I was like, I wouldn't think this is a big deal. 376 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.000 And just like that, it was gone. 377 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:37.000 Something that would have been an annoyance just wasn't anymore. 378 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:40.000 If like you're stuck in traffic and you're not normally stuck in traffic. 379 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:42.000 But every time in just hypothetical world, the frame of the veteran, 380 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:45.000 every single time you got into a car, you get stuck in traffic. 381 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:46.000 Would you be bothered by it? 382 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:47.000 Probably not. 383 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:48.000 Why? 384 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:49.000 Because you're accustomed to it, you expected it. 385 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:52.000 And so what it means is we can basically retroactively alter our expectations 386 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:57.000 and project a fictitious past onto our present so that we can alter how we respond to it. 387 00:15:57.000 --> 00:16:00.000 And so for me, the frame of the veteran has been very valuable. 388 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:02.000 If you've been broken up with and it feels heartbreaking, 389 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:05.000 but if you figured every single time you meet somebody you're going to have a heartbreak 390 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:07.000 on the thousandth time, how would you feel? 391 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:10.000 Probably not that big of a deal, which means it can be not that big of a deal right now 392 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.000 if you choose for it not to be. 393 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:15.000 So a lot of us wish that we don't have problems, 394 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:19.000 but problems are constant and sometimes they are a sign of progress. 395 00:16:19.000 --> 00:16:23.000 Because if you solve a problem, then you create another problem. 396 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:26.000 So if you solve your marketing problem, what do you create? 397 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:27.000 A sales problem. 398 00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:29.000 If you solve your sales problem, what do you create? 399 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:31.000 A customer success problem. 400 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:35.000 And so it's called the never-ending cycle of problems and solutions. 401 00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:39.000 And so the idea is that we're wishing for something that will literally never happen. 402 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:41.000 We want to live a problem for life. 403 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:44.000 But instead, in my opinion, we should try to choose which problems would you prefer? 404 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:47.000 Because there absolutely are better and worse problems. 405 00:16:47.000 --> 00:16:51.000 And so for us, let's just see if we can do better problems that we can solve. 406 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:56.000 But wishing to eliminate problems is in and of itself something that will create a permanent problem in your life. 407 00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:59.000 So number eight, I think, is an exercise called a failure resume. 408 00:16:59.000 --> 00:17:02.000 And I'm going to make a separate about my failure resume. 409 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:03.000 I'll share with you guys. 410 00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:06.000 But a lot of people like to make their resumes about their accomplishments. 411 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:12.000 But what I think that does is it gives us an inflated mental image of ourselves. 412 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:18.000 And so if you make yourself a failure resume, I think it creates the equal opposite situation, 413 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:23.000 which is you're like, man, I have really messed up a lot of times over and over again. 414 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:26.000 And there's a lot of valuable things you can take from that. 415 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:30.000 Number one is that, and probably the most important, I am still here. 416 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:34.000 And I think if there's one big takeaway from that, it's like you have survived. 417 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:40.000 And this actually leads to a frame in and of itself, which is if it kills you, whatever this problem is, 418 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:42.000 it won't matter because you'll be dead. 419 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:45.000 And if it doesn't kill you, it means you can handle it. 420 00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:48.000 And so either way, you win. 421 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:54.000 So when someone's like, I can't stand this, the statement in and of itself is self conflicting. 422 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.000 You can't stand it because you are standing it. 423 00:17:56.000 --> 00:18:01.000 You may be uncomfortable, but you are literally a living example of the fact that the statement was false. 424 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:04.000 And if you truly can't stand it, you will die. 425 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:06.000 In which case you won't need to stand it. 426 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:10.000 So pretty much your default situation is standing, which I think is kind of cool. 427 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.000 And so back to the failure resume is that you're like, I am still here. 428 00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:19.000 Number two, none of those events, which fell like the end of the world, actually did end my world. 429 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:20.000 Because I am still here. 430 00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:24.000 Number three, if you have any measure of success in your life, which everyone does, 431 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:28.000 you just have to change what you're measuring on, you were able to have all of that failure 432 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:33.000 and still have a level of success, which in some ways I think is like a little bit of a sense of humor. 433 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:35.000 Like you can be like, wow, I'm so done. 434 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:37.000 I can't believe I did all these things. 435 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:38.000 I can't believe I'm still here. 436 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:42.000 And I think what it does is rather than talk about all your accomplishments 437 00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:47.000 and set yourself up for a big ego failure, basically sit from the exact opposite, 438 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:49.000 which is like, I can't even believe him here. 439 00:18:49.000 --> 00:18:51.000 What a win. 440 00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:54.000 And the rest of this is all gravy. 441 00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:58.000 And again, I am not saying that every one of the frames that I just gave you 442 00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:02.000 are things that I always have operating at every single hour of every day. 443 00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:06.000 But they are tools that I deploy when I am feeling not as good. 444 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:09.000 And if you want my two cents, so here's my number nine, 445 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:15.000 I believe that the only real legacy is leaving the human race better than you found it. 446 00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:18.000 Not because they will remember you because they won't. 447 00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:22.000 And even if they did, why do we care about the approval of people who haven't even alive yet? 448 00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:27.000 Fun fact, you can't say that you don't care about the opinion of others. 449 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:32.000 And yet, care a lot about what people who aren't even alive yet will think about you while you are dead. 450 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:38.000 So I see education as the ultimate legacy, as the ultimate thing that we can pass on. 451 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:42.000 And so that is the reason that I've dedicated my life to doing that. 452 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:47.000 And passing on whatever learnings that I have, because I feel like if all of us accumulate knowledge, 453 00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:49.000 which we all do in some settings, 454 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:53.000 if we don't package that and pass it on to the next generation, 455 00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:55.000 that in my opinion is a waste of life. 456 00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:58.000 Because everything that we have right now, the cameras that you're, 457 00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:02.000 you know, that this is being recorded on the phone or the screen that you're watching this on 458 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:03.000 or whatever you're listening to this. 459 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:07.000 Like there are many past humans who live their entire lives to make one advancement 460 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:11.000 that other humans picked that baton up and moved the ball forward. 461 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:14.000 Many people who are faceless and nameless to us today, 462 00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:16.000 but have made our lives better. 463 00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:21.000 And to me, that is a purpose that for me inspires me to continue to want to work, 464 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:23.000 even though I know they will not remember my name. 465 00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:27.000 And in many ways, because they don't remember my name or won't remember my name, 466 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:31.000 it actually adds a lot of levity to my life. 467 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:35.000 Because nothing is that big of a deal until I die. 468 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:38.000 And when I die, it won't matter because I won't have to deal with it anyways. 469 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:41.000 So the CLDR is that no one will remember you.