WEBVTT

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And so if I want to acquire skill or a trait, I have to look at what I have to do in the

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certain situation and then repeat that enough times that I can say, hey, you know what,

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in these types of situations, I tend to act this way, which means that I believe not

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am I patient or not, that I'm pretty patient.

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Welcome to the game where we talk about how to sell more stuff to more people in more ways and

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build businesses worth owning. I'm trying to build a billion dollar thing with acquisition.com.

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I always wish pesos, musk and buffet had documented their journey, so I'm doing it for the rest of us.

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Please share and enjoy.

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Yeah, one of those weird things that I kind of enjoy is that like I walk into places looking

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the way I look and I get treated poorly like plenty and I just like a kind of like it in a

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weird way because if I do a lot of business anywhere like eventually they do find out and then

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I like seeing like who treated me well and who didn't before that point and that's just like

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for whatever reason it's like a sick experiment that I like running all the time. I did one photo

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sheet where I was wearing a suit that I couldn't afford and that was when I was the poorest I've

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ever been. It's interesting though because as much as like I'll poo poo the that vibe like from

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art of war the whole idea is to look strong when you are weak and look weak when you are strong

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like it's an art of war and so the idea is like when you are when you're weak you want to

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avoid as much conflict as you can by fronting right and so like there's elements that make sense

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to it. I don't agree with it but honestly there's just one photo sheet the rest of my life I was in

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t-shirt and whatever because I was a gym owner. This regard that whole suit thing mostly because there

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was a guy that who I like sort of hired to like help me build personal brand and he basically just

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made me into what he wanted like he thought I should look like which is like everyone else and

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there's a reason I think that I never wore it again. Like I never wore the suit again and I hated

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they are going to give me and it was just like that's it for me. So I think that the best way to have

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status is be confident and I think the best way to be confident is to have proof and so it makes

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sense that you're not confident if you don't have proof of why you should be confident that means

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that you're not delusional and I think that that's a good thing. I think having an accurate

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representation of where your standing is is not bad and so I think that that gives you awareness

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to improve your relative standing by like working hard and stacking that proof so that when you do

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walk into a room you can say this is what I have done and so I don't need to be my chest and have

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provato and charisma I can just say like here are the facts and you can choose to make whatever

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whatever decision you want off that but I will just present to you what is and the thing is when

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you present what is there's no one who can refute that and then I think that's always the

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decision I prefer to be in. I was having a relatively heated conversation the other day

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with someone. I basically was like I don't really know what you choose to believe about me I was

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like but like here is the evidence that I have and I was like so you can do what you want with

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that I was like but you can't deny that it has happened and so I think that the hardest person

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to convince is yourself when you're starting out and so since and like for me I definitely have

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for sure been more insecurity driven than like passion driven especially in the earlier days

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and so if you have a lot of negative self talk you want to give yourself irrefutable proof

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that you are that you have done the type of work that the type of person you want to become does

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and I think that was like a really big key and kind of like solidifying my identity was basically

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getting on the things that are facts and then like that's it like no I can't refute them no

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one else can refute them like am I good at sales no idea I have done this many of them so I would

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believe that I've done more sales than other people have I can state that right and so like trying

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to stack these bricks that no one could refute gave me a little like house of an identity that I could

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build confidence off of but it was based in reality and I think that's that's why I hate the whole

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fake it till you make thing because the big disconnect that people have is when they hear me talk

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about the stuff they're like but I haven't done anything yet but the reality is that you need to

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chunk down what the things you have everybody's done stuff you've been alive for your whole life right

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it's just that like the how you extrapolate the skill or the trade or the ability you have to

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general you chunk up one and then transfer it down so it's like okay I've never sold before

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but what have I done well I was prom king or what do you know I mean like I I was able to ask

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girls to go out on dates okay like you're able to approach strangers when there's high high stakes

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see like chunk up and then chunk back down into sales and so it's like how can I transfer and then

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telling yourself and reminding yourself of the situations of fact that you've done something

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similar in nature to the new thing you want to do is basically how you transfer the confidence

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from specific to general over time and so over time if you've done that transference into acquired

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new and new skills then you can level up and say I am good at acquiring skills quickly because I

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have done it many times right and so like the more generally you can apply that I think the more

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general confidence you have whereas many people and rightfully so have more like specific confidence

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as in like I'm really good at video games like you can see a guy who's a complete dweeb can't talk

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to people can't whatever but like you put him in call of duty and all of a sudden you've actually

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a fucking god right and he has like the biggest ego and whatever no mind you probably need to fix

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that but like people have domain specific expertise and domain specific confidence and so I think the

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idea is how do I transfer that domain specific confidence to general confidence to multiple situations

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which is you do step by step you take that you know what I was able to work hard at video games in

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terms of what I did there I spent five hours a day for three years playing call of duty I'll bet

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you if I spent five hours a day for three years doing this that I would be as good as this is I

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am at call of duty so now I have a reasonable way to transfer what I did to a new skill and so the

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more times you make that transfer the more generalized your skill set becomes and I think that

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then becomes the internal confidence where you can say like I feel confident that I can learn this

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thing do this thing because of what I have done I think it was just introspection of like why am I

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confident at these things and not confident at these other things and then I would always have the

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answer I was like well I've done that a lot I'm like huh well maybe if I do a lot of other stuff a

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lot I'll be confident those things too and then if I wasn't confident in something then I would

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think well I'll bet you that's why I have these simple things like well if you do more of it you

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will suck less right like I love the Chinese proverb which is that everything must be hard before

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it can be easy and so just like well and framing a lot of social situations as skills even

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character traits as skills like how is someone patient well they do this thing which means that if

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I present someone with a similar condition over and over again and then they change the behavior

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then they have become patient which means that a trait is a skill which means it can be learned

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and so if I want to acquire skill or a trait I have to look at what I have to do in the certain

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situation and then repeat that enough times that I can say hey you know what in these types of

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situations I tend to act this way which means that I believe not am I patient or not that I'm

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pretty patient real quick guys if you can think about how you found this podcast somebody probably

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tweeted it told you about it shared it on Instagram or something like that the only way this

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grows is through word of mouth and so I don't run ads I don't do sponsorships I don't sell anything

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my only ask is that you continue to pay it forward to whoever showed you or however you found out

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about this podcast that you do the exact same thing so if it was a review if it was a post if you do

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that you mean the world to me and you'll throw some good karma out there for another entrepreneur

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and the longer I continue to act that way the more I more patient I can say I am and have proof

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that I am because what I've done not because of what I say I would have a tough time saying no

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because fundamentally everything is human behavior in response to conditions

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and so if there's anything skill or trait based trait which is really just like a more generalized

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skill that applies to more situations it's just stimulus response and so if we want to have a

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different response or basket of responses then we need to train that response with repeated exposure

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to the same stimulus so it's like if you want to be good at sales then you you get into situations

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where selling happens and you do it over and over again and you train the outcome that you want

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and if you're like well I've never had confidence in that again you chunked down and think okay well

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what else what else have I done that's similar to this that I can transfer over like this is where

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you get into the woo woo of like telling yourself the story but it's really just giving yourself

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the proof of what you've already done and how that applies to today and then that's why it's always

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just leveling up from the things you've done in the past so it's like okay well I've built a

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company to a hundred billion before so how do I build one to a billion well do I know I can build

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it to a billion I'm confident I can because I haven't done it yet but I have evidence that I've

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done this and so I think it's reasonable to believe that if I do this for five times the length of

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time that I could build that okay then that feels like a reasonable bet and I think that when I'm

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70 I'll be more confident than I am now and confident said differently is just secure in who I am

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and so I think I'm significantly more secure now than I was when I was 20 and it's because

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a I have fewer things to prove to other people because I approve more of them to myself and so I

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think that there's this great quote by Epic Titus I love I'm gonna read it because it's really good

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you compromise your integrity when you seek outside approval be satisfied that you live up to your

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rational principles be your own witness if you need one you don't need any more witnesses than that

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there's different translations of it but basically if you need someone else to be your witness it means

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that you sacrifice your own integrity because you're saying why can't you have enough integrity to be

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your own witness of whatever the thing is why do I need someone else's approval because they would not

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have nearly the context I have because I lived it so if you're like I am this way and someone says no

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you're not there's a degree where what evidence do they have what evidence do you have and you

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should always have more evidence than them and so like you're opinion of you should always have

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the highest standing but inversely most times it doesn't and so I think a lot of the path of

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like building confidence is simply over time valuing your opinion more than other people's like the

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shoes I wear look probably not fashionable how much do I care what other people think about the

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clothing that I wear that they they're not wearing why do they care what I wear this is great for

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heat I don't sweat as much their waterproof I go to a water park and then I go to a restaurant and

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I can work out all the same thing minimizes the drag on my life like cool so people like that looks

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really weird I'm like cool then don't wear it wherever you want to wear I don't care which you wear

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right and so a lot of times it's like deflecting people's judgments on you that they don't that why

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would I care like what weight does their opinion have on my life at all besides that they have one

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so early days people like I would never live my life like you live your life and I'm like good

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why are you sharing that with like a lot of times people just make noise with their faces and it

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does it has no impact on your life like I'm gonna change my behavior in no way which if people say

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things to you and you don't like what they're saying question is is there elements of truth to

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what they're saying if there is fix it if there isn't then learn nothing from it because some

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like some learning is the wrong learning like you're you're taking the wrong lesson from your mom

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who says you should stay home should I I don't know if I change my behavior it means I learned

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from what she said in one way or another now I'm I might learn and then rebel more right um

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but just thinking through that and I think the biggest thing with at least for me has just been

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continuing to try and value my own opinion more than a fictitious or arbitrary third party

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that doesn't even exist and usually it's one to three voices that that I play over and over

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in my head and those people don't even know that I'm playing their voice in my head and then wondering

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and asking myself do I want this fictitious version of this person's voice to be the main thing that

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directs my life that gives a lot of power to this person and then I ask myself do I want that

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person that power of my life and then usually the answer is no and I'm like who would I prefer to

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have power of my life and then usually it's me and so then it continually like brick by brick

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continue to build the identity of of who of the type of man I want to listen to and try and act in

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accordance with what I think that guy would do and then if I have enough evidence eventually the

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idea of who I want to be and who I am start merging and eventually the same person I do not as many

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and they're quieter like they're there but they don't hit me as hard they don't weigh down as much

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and I think I'm more aware of I'm like huh that makes me think this again I go through the same

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exercise of like does that person really think that a do I really care what they think be do I

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want to give that person the same power over my life that I give to myself no okay so it's like

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these bombs that I've gotten faster and faster diffusing so I can keep living the life that I want to

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live I think one last thing is like I think about this a lot which is like 85 year old version of me

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right I mean I think about a lot of frames a lot one of them is that none of it's going to matter but

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the other frame is like 85 year old me doesn't care about a lot of shit and so I'm like man if that guy

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cannot care about a lot of shit and it's the same person why can't I just start living that way now

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and so old people don't give a shit if they're wearing fucking comfortable sneakers like at what

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point did they go from like you know what I'm gonna wear these fashiony whatever things to I'm

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gonna wear these new balances right like where does that happen and I think there's degrees of like

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just being okay with you that allows people to make that shift and I think a lot of people really

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envy it's like there's good old people and there's nasty old people but like I think I'm like I

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would like to be a nice old person and I think that they're really like jolly and easy going

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and I think self accepting and I think that's like I think about that guy all the time and when I

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have these stressors or I have these insecurities I think like what would that guy think right now

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and that guy usually has very good answers which is kind of weird because it means that you have

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these answers inside of yourself but you just choose not to listen to them and so I think it's just

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making that voice louder while you make the other voices quieter and thinking do I care about my 85

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year old self opinion of me or the fictitious opinion of this rival that I have right now and then

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always remembering that the person with the longest time horizon wins because there are people who

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are ahead of me now who on a longer time horizon it doesn't matter and then on the longest time horizon

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not a matter but that has helped me decrease the pressure in my life which I think has allowed me

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to make better decisions which I think ultimately you know allows me to do the things more of the things

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that I want to do rather than more of the things that I think other people want me to do.