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Just going on everyone, happy Wednesday. Hope you guys are rocking your week so far.

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Today I want to make a video that I have had on my mind. It has been marinating.

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And I've had this is kind of a culmination of like three or four things that I'm just kind of

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putting together. And I think it's going to turn out well. And I'm still struggling with the name

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for this video. So maybe you'll see what it turns out to be. But it kind of stems from just

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just a few different, you know, small minor situations that kind of bubbled into this overarching

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concept, which is like if shit happens, do you overcome shit or do you become shit? And what I

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mean by that is that like a lot of times there's a saying like bad things happen in threes. I don't

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if you've ever heard bad things happen in threes. I actually think there's a lot of truth to the

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saying. And I don't think it's because of some karmic forces, some universal force of threes that

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sends negative things your way. But because people become shit when ships happens to them. And so

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the if you if you look at like champions and so like I like using that term because I just love

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the word champion. But champions are unreasonable in how they bounce back from failure and how they

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bounce back from shit happening, right? Adrian Peterson, Tories ACL, which is an end, you know, a career

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ending injury for just about everyone. And then comes back and almost sets the the record for the NFL

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in in rushing events, right? You know Lance Armstrong gets test stock, you know,

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sissicular cancer and then and then all of a sudden wins, you know, the Tour de France a bunch of

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times, right? And so it's because like those guys are have the mindset of champions, which is

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there are most people where it would be reasonable for them to have shit happen, to get cancer,

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to blow your ACL, to have your business partner leave, to have your trainer leave with customers,

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whatever it is right for you. And then for to have your life go to shit. And so recently we had

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I had a there was a team member of ours who had just had a bunch of personal things happen to him

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in his normal life, right? And the problem was is that after that happened, it affected his work.

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And then his performance started to slip. And so then we had to let him go. And so the the

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difficult and I can think I'm thinking about his perception of life in the universe in the world.

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And because he acted in a completely reasonable way, he was completely distraught, he was extremely

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upset, it bubbled into his work, it bubbled into his life. I'm sure if he had a girlfriend or maybe

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he doesn't have a girlfriend, I don't know, like I'm sure it affected that relationship too. And maybe

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you know, she will then see him and say like, man, you're not the way you used to be anymore,

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you're always negative, you're always down on yourself. And then she breaks them with him. And

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it's like, oh my God, I'm in the span of a couple of weeks. I had, you know, this horrible

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thing happened and then I got fired from my job and then my girlfriend broke up with me.

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But the reality is that they're all connected, right? And so the saying like, what doesn't kill you

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makes you stronger is not true because for most people, what doesn't kill that makes them weaker,

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right? It just injures them even more and more and more. And you look at the people who are at

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the end of their life versus the beginning of their life. And what ends up happening is they

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just look beat up and used, right? Because they didn't they let the situations that happened to

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them and their life beat the strengths out of them rather than beat the strengths into them,

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right? And so I think that's the fundamental difference that happens between like champions,

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right? It's like, do you let the world do you let life beat the strengths out of you or beat it

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into you? And for me, a lot of it is the story that we choose to tell ourselves. And so

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like, and I, I'm probably sadistic in this way. But like, if something really bad happens,

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I get this weird amount of excitement because I am excited about the story that I'm going to be

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able to tell based on this low and how I overcame. And so there are people who get broken up with

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and then game 30 pounds and become, you know, hermits and live inside, which is a completely

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reasonable human response. But it doesn't make you a champion. It makes you reasonable. It makes you

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normal. It makes you like everyone else. And so if you want the things that everyone else doesn't

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have, you have to act in ways that everyone else doesn't act in, which means you have an unreasonable

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response to trauma and unreasonable response to pain. And it's that not only are you as good as

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you were before, but you're better, you double down, you say, I'm not going to let this thing affect

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this and to go over and above, I'm going to sink myself into this next thing and go all in on that

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to make it a positive instead of a negative. And so within the psychology world, they call it

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sublimating, which means basically taking transferring energy from like a negative to a positive. So

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that's where let's say somebody who's an addict, right? We'll quit their addiction, but then they

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will throw themselves into an addiction of fitness, right? Which if you're comparing cocaine or

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heroin addiction to working out a lot, it's a much better addiction, right? And so it's called

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sublimating. So they're taking the thing that used to help them cope with stress that was a negative

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as a detractor and then puts it into something that was positive because we all cope, right? Like,

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that happens no matter what independent who you are. If you have a trauma, you will cope. It's just

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how do you cope? How do you cope with shit? Like, do you let that become the impetus, the story of how

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you're not going to lose, how you're going to win no matter what the circumstances are, right? If

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your partner leaves you and takes 50% of the business, are you going to let that be the story

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of why you failed? Because then you can tell everyone when you failed, hey, my partner took out my

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business and then my business failed and blah blah blah blah, right? And everyone will be like,

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oh, poor you, like, and they would be right in saying that and you would be reasonable in having

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that be a reason they went out of business, right? But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter

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because what matters is who wins in the end. That's it, right? And so one of the, and this is what

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I'm going to circle to is what was going to be a commentary on a different video, but I think it

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wraps so well into this is that everyone perceives pain the same. And what I mean by that is

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what what one rich girl who who gets brought up in a spoiled household when her dad doesn't show up to

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her, you know, her her ballet performance, it could be a 10 out of 10 trauma for her, right? And

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then on the flip side, you hear someone who was raised on the other side of the train tracks,

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who was just happy that her dad remembered her name, right? Or was just happy that her dad showed

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up once every month, right? And you can see this juxtaposition and externally we want to give an

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absolute judgment on how much pain did they really experience? But humans don't work that way.

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Hey, if you're a return listener and you have not rated or reviewed the show,

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I want you to know that you should feel absolutely terrible about yourself and everything

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else in the world. I'm kidding, but it would mean the absolute words of me if you guys would go

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ahead and do that. You don't even have to pause to show you keep listening and you can just do

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it with your thumb right now. It'll take you less than 60 seconds. And like I said, the only way

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that podcast grows through word of mouth and this is you joining hands with me and helping

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as many entrepreneurs as we possibly can because no one is coming to save us. It's just us. All right,

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so please go do that now and let's get back to the show.

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They don't work in absolute sense. It's in relative scales. And for that person,

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the pain may have been the same. It may have even been higher for the ballet girl because expectations

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are the things that yield pain when they're not met, right? If you look at suicide rates

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between ethnicities, there are a propensity of suicides among very high earning, very

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what would be considered successful like white and Asian like ethnicities. There's a higher

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suicide rate, right? Higher SES, higher socioeconomic status. So to say that you like to try to

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try to track from someone's pain because of the absolute thing that happened to them is a relevant

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and doesn't actually address the fact that pain is pain to everyone. And so for you in your

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circumstance, your 10 out of 10 pain is the same as everyone else's. And so the question is,

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how do you react to your 10 out of 10 pain? And how you react is going to predicate whether you

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become a champion or not. And that's it. And I think for me, the biggest coping mechanism that

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has been useful in times that have been hard is what story do I want to tell? What story do I want

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told about me in these situations, right? When I was sleeping on the floor at the first gym,

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it was really hard for me, right? It was very hard. But I kept thinking, I'm going to be able to say

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I came from this, right? I'm going to be able to say I came from this to go to where I wanted to

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go, right? And so it's just like when you have the husband who cheats on you or the wife who

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cheats on you or the person who breaks up with you or whatever it is, there is the reasonable

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thing to do, which is to fail, which is to suck. And that's what most people do. And that's why

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things happen that are bad and strings of things, right? They get broken up with, then they lose their

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job. And then they, you know, all of these other things happen, but because they let one thing affect

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everything, rather than letting one thing make them stronger, right? And so at the end of all of this,

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I guess I kind of just wanted to say that the market doesn't care, right? Your co-workers

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in care, your lover, your boyfriend, your wife, on some level, doesn't care. And what I mean by

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that is that like, it's not in a like bash humanity way, but like people are self-serving.

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The reason a lot of times people end up together is because the way that you make them feel about

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themselves, that's the difference. Most people a lot of times feel like, well, I unconditionally

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love expizing it. A lot of parents like, I unconditionally love my child. No, you know, you say

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you did, but you really don't. If they, if they came and they burned down your house and started just

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going into all of the things that you hate in the world became a, a criminal art, and basically so far

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beyond that people would say it was reasonable for you to give up on them. Most people would,

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right? Most people would. You know you're your child's a serial murderer or whatever it is, right?

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There are, there's, in my opinion, there's no such thing in the human world of unconditional.

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There are conditions, it's just we're able to push further for family, but it doesn't mean it's

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unconditional. And so to the same degree, the people you work with, your clients, your business

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partners, whatever it is, have conditions. And so despite the fact that you might be right and

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you can tell your friends and you can tell your mom and you're like, you wouldn't believe all the

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stuff that happens. And she's like, oh, honey, I'm so sorry for you. No one gives a shit. No one

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cares. And so if you accept that and realize that you're excuse of what happened is irrelevant to

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the outcome that you want, then you can kind of in some way get peace about the fact that cool,

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what story are people going to tell about this situation? Because when you have that low,

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you have the potential to have a higher high. I'm going to say this in a different way.

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When you have that horrible thing happen to you, there are two stories that can be told,

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right? If there's the guy that nothing happens to and then he's successful, the story is not nearly

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as compelling, not nearly as inspiring, as status producing, as the story where someone lost it,

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and then despite that, succeeded anyway through grit and tenacity, which big secret everyone

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was at the top, succeeded, despite that because that shit happens to everyone, right? It reigns

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on, loads it like, you know, fortune reigns on the good and the bad evenly, I'm totally butchering

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that, but you get what I'm saying here. And so the question is, once it happens, do you want the

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story to be a, he succeeded or she succeeded despite those horrible things that happened to her or

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him? Or do you want the story to be she or he failed? And it's reasonable, like, awe,

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poor them, I can't believe all that stuff happened to them, boohoo, and then they just move on

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with their day because no one cares. And the end of the day, the goal that you have is going to be

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the other side of the story that you are going to not only have told about you, but that you will

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be telling yourself. And so that that story is going to be the thing that when you do achieve

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the mountaintop, you will be able to look at people with certainty and conviction about not being

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concerned about the future because you know what you have gone through in the past. And most people

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have gone through shit in their pasts, we all have, that should give you strength to face what's

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coming. And so use that when you have shit that happens to you. If you have the partner that leaves,

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think to yourself, was this harder than my dad beating me every day, right? I'm not saying my

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dad, my dad never touched me, but I'm saying the point is everyone has that story, right? And ask

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yourself, is it harder than that? No, I overcame anyways, right? So I can do this too. And this is

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the story that I choose to tell and I'm going to double down harder than I ever did and use this

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as fuel to win harder. And that is what separates the champions from the knot. And that's why most

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people aren't champions because they crack under pressure. And the next thing that happens is bad,

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next thing that happens is bad. And then everyone says, poor you, it's so reasonable that you fake. So

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my, the inspirational tone for the message is just that shit's going to happen. And it's just a

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question of what story you want to tell about it and whether you're going to use that to make you

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stronger or let it make you weaker. So hope you guys have an amazing Wednesday. This was just

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spurred on by a couple of just like internal things that happened. You know, it was just the one

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story of, you know, somebody in our company and I just, I thought it needed to be said and I hope

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that maybe there's somebody here who has gone through some things or maybe you know someone else

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who's going through things and you can relay that message to them so that they can make it,

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make them stronger, beat the strength into them rather than beating the strength out of them. So

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lots of love, keeping amazing tagger friends like all that kind of stuff and love you all. Amazing day.

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Give it a shot.