WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.040 When I have any stressors in my life, I'm saying that I'm choosing. 2 00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:07.560 My brain is choosing to make meaning out of this when there was no meaning to be made 3 00:00:07.560 --> 00:00:08.760 to begin with. 4 00:00:08.760 --> 00:00:13.340 And so by doing that, I can play the notes of the piano of meaning that happen across 5 00:00:13.340 --> 00:00:15.840 the occurrences and circumstances in my life. 6 00:00:15.840 --> 00:00:18.440 Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more 7 00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:21.720 percester and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned 8 00:00:21.720 --> 00:00:22.720 along the way. 9 00:00:22.720 --> 00:00:24.320 Hope you enjoy and subscribe. 10 00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:31.000 In March of 2019, my wife and I were walking together after just having finished a $4.4 11 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:36.440 million dollar month, and she turned to me and she said, Alex, let's just shut it all 12 00:00:36.440 --> 00:00:37.440 down. 13 00:00:37.440 --> 00:00:41.880 She's like, I'm so tired of this, I'm so burnt out, I just don't want to do this anymore. 14 00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:46.200 And it was at that moment that I realized that in order to progress in the entrepreneurial 15 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:49.880 game, we had to change the way we operated, the way we thought. 16 00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:54.480 And so if you're an entrepreneur and you're a business owner, the number one thing that 17 00:00:54.480 --> 00:01:00.240 I've seen that creates success is longevity, meaning that you can continue to play the game. 18 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:03.520 Because at the end of the day, none of us is going to quit business or hopefully not quit 19 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:04.520 business. 20 00:01:04.520 --> 00:01:08.480 And so in order to decrease the likelihood that we quit, which is the only way to fail, 21 00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:13.120 we have to think through our problems with a defined framework. 22 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:16.280 And so rather than focus on the actual framework of the decision making, what I want to do is 23 00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:21.240 focus around the state in which you can manage your own thoughts. 24 00:01:21.240 --> 00:01:25.000 And so I've had to deal with plenty of stressors, as you can imagine. 25 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:28.840 So if you're stressed in your own business right now, like, you know, add a zero to whatever 26 00:01:28.840 --> 00:01:32.200 your revenue is and you'll have 10 times the potential for stress if you were 10 times 27 00:01:32.200 --> 00:01:37.160 bigger or 100 times the stress, if you were 100 times bigger, which depends on who's 28 00:01:37.160 --> 00:01:39.200 listening, we may be that for you. 29 00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:44.640 And so I can tell you truthfully that the way that I've been able to eliminate pressure, 30 00:01:44.640 --> 00:01:49.360 which has created a longevity in the game for me, has been through four strategies that 31 00:01:49.360 --> 00:01:51.680 actually work in the real world for me. 32 00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:58.200 So the first that I do, whenever I have any kind of negative situation, is I go a thousand 33 00:01:58.200 --> 00:02:01.080 X negative, all right. 34 00:02:01.080 --> 00:02:02.080 And then I reevaluate. 35 00:02:02.080 --> 00:02:03.400 So let me explain what that means. 36 00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:07.000 So if, for example, there's something that's bad that happens. 37 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:12.400 We get a bad review where we get, you know, a client subset where I have an employee who 38 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:16.520 says something bad to another employer or employee that's key leaves, or someone tries 39 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:19.600 to, you know, a competitor steal stuff and then starts back, whatever it is, right. 40 00:02:19.600 --> 00:02:22.520 There's a million problems in go business, or you have cash flow issues or where you 41 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:25.880 can't make pay well, whatever it is, right. 42 00:02:25.880 --> 00:02:29.080 I like to think of this one as my first, this is my like my first line of defense. 43 00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:33.920 The first thing I think about is if this were to happen a thousand times more, right. 44 00:02:33.920 --> 00:02:38.280 And this works really well with what I would consider like minor to medium size grievances. 45 00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:41.560 So the things that happen that are kind of everyday business that can, you know, bother 46 00:02:41.560 --> 00:02:44.640 you for a day or two days or a week, right. 47 00:02:44.640 --> 00:02:49.560 Well, if you can just shorten that loop of that cycle of you being disturbed, because 48 00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:51.640 the thing is, lots of those things are going to happen every single week. 49 00:02:51.640 --> 00:02:54.840 A lot of times you just don't know about them, right, depending on the size of your business. 50 00:02:54.840 --> 00:02:57.440 And so I just happen to know about it now. 51 00:02:57.440 --> 00:03:01.520 And so first off, I like to think about that, but second is I'll do this, right, which 52 00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:07.680 is I'll imagine that every day in my life, this happens, whatever that thing is, right. 53 00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:08.680 That was upset. 54 00:03:08.680 --> 00:03:11.360 Now, obviously if it's a core issue, you have to resolve it. 55 00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:16.760 But in terms of like it happening in my affective or my emotional reaction to it, then I think 56 00:03:16.760 --> 00:03:20.080 to myself, well, if this happened every single day and this happened every hour of every 57 00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:23.600 day, at some point I would become desensitized to it, right, because I had so much stimulus 58 00:03:23.600 --> 00:03:26.640 of this, I would not be able to have an emotional response. 59 00:03:26.640 --> 00:03:30.680 And so when I think and I imagine myself experiencing this negative thing over and over and over 60 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:34.000 and over again, it's called negative visualization, then when it's up happening is I become 61 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:35.000 immune to it. 62 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:39.800 And I think to myself, well, if I can become immune to it after a thousand tries, I can 63 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:42.960 become immune to it on the first try because it means nothing has actually changed only 64 00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:45.440 my perspective on the occurrence. 65 00:03:45.440 --> 00:03:49.360 And then so doing you can shortwire yourself to that end to outcome and then fast forward 66 00:03:49.360 --> 00:03:53.160 it to the present so you can live the rest of your day or less of your week without being 67 00:03:53.160 --> 00:03:54.800 emotionally disturbed. 68 00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:58.480 And when you do that, at least for me, I feel like I make better decisions. 69 00:03:58.480 --> 00:04:02.080 And so I think for most of us as entrepreneurs and business owners, we are judged by the marketplace 70 00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:03.640 by the quality of our decisions. 71 00:04:03.640 --> 00:04:04.640 That's ultimately what it is, right. 72 00:04:04.640 --> 00:04:07.320 It's just how good are the quality of the decisions that we make. 73 00:04:07.320 --> 00:04:10.760 And so if I can decrease the likelihood that I make bad decisions and I can do that on 74 00:04:10.760 --> 00:04:13.280 a regular basis, then this is something that protects my mind. 75 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:16.000 And, candidly, it's what makes life worth living. 76 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:23.400 The second thing that I'll do is that when I'm preparing for something that I need to 77 00:04:23.400 --> 00:04:27.360 start doing, right, because there might be habits or things that you need to start doing. 78 00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:31.360 This is a slightly different example, but I'm giving you the four different strategies 79 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:32.800 that have worked really well for me. 80 00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:35.800 The second one is let's say you wanted to start working out because you're like, you 81 00:04:35.800 --> 00:04:39.000 know what, I've been neglecting my health or you know, you'll start eating healthy, whatever 82 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:40.000 it is, right. 83 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:42.960 Those are fitness examples, but just go with me. 84 00:04:42.960 --> 00:04:48.360 What I will do is I will expect the worst circumstance, all right. 85 00:04:48.360 --> 00:04:53.560 So rather than saying, okay, I'm going to go work out and feel excited, right, to go 86 00:04:53.560 --> 00:04:54.560 work out. 87 00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:55.560 I'm super pumped. 88 00:04:55.560 --> 00:04:59.960 What I want to do is I want to plan and prepare my mental state for when it times to work 89 00:04:59.960 --> 00:05:00.960 out. 90 00:05:00.960 --> 00:05:03.860 When it comes time to work out, I'm going to be exhausted, but I'm not going to have 91 00:05:03.860 --> 00:05:04.860 slept well. 92 00:05:04.860 --> 00:05:05.860 I'm going to have a lot of business stress. 93 00:05:05.860 --> 00:05:08.360 And so I have to expect that going into every workout. 94 00:05:08.360 --> 00:05:13.440 Now if I don't have that happen, then it's a bonus rather than expecting nothing to 95 00:05:13.440 --> 00:05:15.400 be my mental state. 96 00:05:15.400 --> 00:05:19.200 And then when something bad does happen, then I have this reason, right. 97 00:05:19.200 --> 00:05:25.840 And so it literally does go into truly expecting the worst case scenario and making the pre-formed 98 00:05:25.840 --> 00:05:30.360 decision to act anyways despite that because you have plan for it. 99 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:34.600 So most people, most humans have really good psychological resilience if we brace for 100 00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:35.600 it. 101 00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:37.760 So if you're about to give someone bad news, for example, you actually have to let them, 102 00:05:37.760 --> 00:05:38.760 hey, this is bad news. 103 00:05:38.760 --> 00:05:41.880 Hey, you may want to sit down for this because people actually are very resilient if you 104 00:05:41.880 --> 00:05:44.280 give them a moment to emotionally brace themselves. 105 00:05:44.280 --> 00:05:48.720 And so what we're doing here is using this bracing technique on ourselves in advance of 106 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:52.960 a situation that is likely to occur at some time between now and when we die, especially 107 00:05:52.960 --> 00:05:55.320 if it's a habit that has to be ongoing, right. 108 00:05:55.320 --> 00:06:02.400 And so what I do is I emotionally brace for the worst scenario, all right. 109 00:06:02.400 --> 00:06:04.200 That's number two. 110 00:06:04.200 --> 00:06:09.200 Real quick, guys, you guys already know that I don't run any ads on this and I don't sell 111 00:06:09.200 --> 00:06:10.200 anything. 112 00:06:10.200 --> 00:06:12.880 And so the only ask that I can ever have are you guys that you help me spread the words 113 00:06:12.880 --> 00:06:17.000 so we can not more entrepreneurs, make more money, feed their families, make better products 114 00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:20.200 and have better experiences for their employees and customers. 115 00:06:20.200 --> 00:06:24.680 The only way we do that is if you can rate and review and share this podcast. 116 00:06:24.680 --> 00:06:28.000 So the single thing that I have to do is you can just leave a review, take a 10 seconds 117 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:31.280 or one type of the thug that would mean the absolute world to me and more importantly, 118 00:06:31.280 --> 00:06:34.760 it may change the world to someone else. 119 00:06:34.760 --> 00:06:41.080 The third thing that I do, and this is probably the one that I use the most, it's really 120 00:06:41.080 --> 00:06:42.080 the one that I use the most. 121 00:06:42.080 --> 00:06:49.080 Actually, I'll say that one for last, a different version of this, the emotional brace is an 122 00:06:49.080 --> 00:06:50.080 extreme version, right. 123 00:06:50.640 --> 00:06:54.520 This is, imagine the thing that you just said happened that bothered you for a thousand 124 00:06:54.520 --> 00:06:56.440 times, then it stops affecting you. 125 00:06:56.440 --> 00:06:58.720 The second one is you emotionally brace yourself. 126 00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:04.320 The third one is you imagine worst case, all right. 127 00:07:04.320 --> 00:07:08.000 Now the point here is kind of like a pain anchor, okay. 128 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:14.360 And so what I mean by a pain anchor is it gives you perspective on your current issues, 129 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:15.360 right. 130 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:19.360 So for example, whenever you've had a family member die or someone close to you die or 131 00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:22.360 someone even have a pet die, it depends on where you're at in your life, right. 132 00:07:22.360 --> 00:07:25.400 If you have something that was painful for you, right. 133 00:07:25.400 --> 00:07:26.400 All of us benefit. 134 00:07:26.400 --> 00:07:28.560 We get the gift of perspective from those who die. 135 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:31.960 That's the one of the final gifts that any death occurs that's in your proximity will 136 00:07:31.960 --> 00:07:33.360 give you, right. 137 00:07:33.360 --> 00:07:39.120 And so for me, I think about that negative situation, I really like trying to soak myself 138 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:40.120 in it, right. 139 00:07:40.120 --> 00:07:44.600 Really trying to like put it on and walk around in what that painful state would be, whatever, 140 00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:47.800 whatever worst case scenario I can imagine, might be death of a spouse, might be death 141 00:07:48.440 --> 00:07:49.800 of a parent, whatever, right. 142 00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:51.920 Or child, something horrific, right. 143 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:59.160 But if I can truly allow myself to go there, then what happens is I get so much context 144 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:04.680 and perspective on the little thing like somebody bashing a piece of content or someone saying 145 00:08:04.680 --> 00:08:08.680 that they hate your ad or whatever, it might be the thing that is deriding you. 146 00:08:08.680 --> 00:08:12.760 And all of a sudden that problem becomes massively minimized, right. 147 00:08:12.760 --> 00:08:14.960 It becomes almost inconsequential. 148 00:08:14.960 --> 00:08:20.080 And what I found is that over my life in the business, there's an infinite amount of 149 00:08:20.080 --> 00:08:21.080 problems. 150 00:08:21.080 --> 00:08:22.240 Truly, there's an unlimited amount of problems. 151 00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:25.800 I could think of so many things we should be doing or we could be doing better or should 152 00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:27.440 not have happened, right. 153 00:08:27.440 --> 00:08:30.560 But it's only because we put the word should in front of it that we have an expectation 154 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:35.840 that is different than reality, which creates the friction in our minds, creates the dissonance, 155 00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:38.360 it creates the unhappiness that we have. 156 00:08:38.360 --> 00:08:44.000 And so if I can imagine the worst case scenario and then actively minimize my current situation, 157 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:47.400 then I usually can get right through it. 158 00:08:47.400 --> 00:08:52.920 And most times what I found is that most problems shrink into a relevance within broader context. 159 00:08:52.920 --> 00:08:54.200 They actually never get solved. 160 00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:56.160 We just realize that we just don't care. 161 00:08:56.160 --> 00:08:58.680 And that they are no longer meaningful to us. 162 00:08:58.680 --> 00:09:02.080 And so that has been something that's been very useful for me as we've grown because, 163 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:06.120 frankly, the bigger your company gets, the more ability and potential you have to become 164 00:09:06.120 --> 00:09:07.120 stressed. 165 00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:08.960 And I think most of us are here for freedom. 166 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:11.880 And so if you want freedom, then you have to, or at least for me, I have found that I 167 00:09:11.880 --> 00:09:15.600 have to manage my mental state in order to continue to make high-quality decisions. 168 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:19.880 And so that leads me to the last one, which is probably my favorite and most used one 169 00:09:19.880 --> 00:09:22.080 that I use on anything. 170 00:09:22.080 --> 00:09:28.800 And this may bother some of you, and that's okay, this isn't end, sorry, universe, is that 171 00:09:28.800 --> 00:09:30.280 this is a world view that I have. 172 00:09:30.280 --> 00:09:38.360 So if you are, don't be trigger, don't take offense to this, but I'm telling you what 173 00:09:38.360 --> 00:09:39.680 is worked for me. 174 00:09:39.680 --> 00:09:45.880 And so I believe that the universe will continue to expand until eventually everything becomes 175 00:09:45.880 --> 00:09:46.880 a fine mist. 176 00:09:46.880 --> 00:09:50.720 Over a long enough time horizon, the sun will give out, all stars will extinguish, and 177 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:53.120 then everything will just become a fine mist. 178 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:59.280 And as silly as that may sound, it means that anything that we do, this video, anything 179 00:09:59.280 --> 00:10:03.720 that I accomplish in this world will eventually disappear and be meaningless. 180 00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:07.080 And so some people find that incredibly depressing. 181 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:08.080 I don't. 182 00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:13.440 I find that to be incredibly meaningful because it means to me that I'm allowed to, I am 183 00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:18.640 the only person that ascribes meaning to anything. 184 00:10:18.640 --> 00:10:20.840 Because it means that nothing has inherent meaning. 185 00:10:20.840 --> 00:10:24.600 And so that means that when I have any stressors in my life, I'm saying that I'm choosing. 186 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:29.160 My brain is choosing to make meaning out of this when there was no meaning to be made to 187 00:10:29.160 --> 00:10:30.160 begin with. 188 00:10:30.160 --> 00:10:34.760 And so by doing that, I can play the notes of the piano of meaning that happen across 189 00:10:34.760 --> 00:10:37.720 the occurrences and circumstances in my life. 190 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:41.720 And so when I think about it in this context, everything shrinks into a relevance. 191 00:10:41.720 --> 00:10:46.800 And so a lot of the concepts around like, I want to build a legacy, I want to make an 192 00:10:46.800 --> 00:10:51.200 impact, I want to leave a dent in the universe, you're not, you're probably not going to 193 00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:52.200 leave a dent in the universe. 194 00:10:52.200 --> 00:10:57.920 And even if you made some big advancement within 500 years, like it'll probably be forgotten. 195 00:10:57.920 --> 00:11:01.360 And that would be like if you're the top point zero zero zero zero one percent, right? 196 00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:02.840 It's unlikely. 197 00:11:02.840 --> 00:11:08.120 But it is 100% likely that over a long enough time horizon, everything will disappear, right? 198 00:11:08.120 --> 00:11:13.480 And by doing that, for me, it decreases the pressure that I put on myself for having 199 00:11:13.480 --> 00:11:21.240 to, I must, I should, I have to, like, I can't live without those thoughts that strangle 200 00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:22.240 me, right? 201 00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:25.960 Those are the things that destroy my ability to make decisions because I come way more 202 00:11:25.960 --> 00:11:27.960 emotional as a result of them. 203 00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:32.240 And so whenever I have any kind of negative occurrence, or he stressors that come up in 204 00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:36.960 my life which are inevitable, I use this as my ultimate frame of reference. 205 00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:41.880 This is my ultimate trump card that I use to keep my, my emotions at bay. 206 00:11:41.880 --> 00:11:46.120 And ultimately say, I am the master of my own universe. 207 00:11:46.120 --> 00:11:48.840 I get to decide what has meaning. 208 00:11:48.840 --> 00:11:53.960 And for me, I'll tell you what, what, what I have found most meaningful for me is that 209 00:11:53.960 --> 00:12:00.320 my purpose in life to, to my knowledge at this point is to learn, I love learning. 210 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:05.160 And so that is, that is why I make these videos because I feel like I am able to better 211 00:12:05.160 --> 00:12:10.040 learn how to think, I'm better learned how to run businesses, I'm better learn, I can 212 00:12:10.040 --> 00:12:13.080 better learn all of the aspects of everything by teaching it, right? 213 00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:16.720 And I'm sure if you ever did a book report when you were in high school, you learned the 214 00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:19.680 one chapter, you had to do your book report on or give a presentation on way better than 215 00:12:19.680 --> 00:12:21.920 any of the other chapters because when you have to teach something, you have to learn 216 00:12:21.920 --> 00:12:22.920 it better. 217 00:12:22.920 --> 00:12:26.000 You have to learn the nuances of what makes something work. 218 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:30.280 And so for me, even cataloging these things has been useful for me because I think these 219 00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:32.080 are all the things that I do, huh? 220 00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:39.000 But now I have a process that I can continue to use, rather than use haphazardly just because 221 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:41.120 I've just trained myself over time doing this. 222 00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:44.600 And so I don't know where you're at in your business career, if you're, you know, you 223 00:12:44.600 --> 00:12:47.320 have seven figures or eight figures or multi figures, you have multiple companies, whatever 224 00:12:47.320 --> 00:12:48.840 it is, right? 225 00:12:48.840 --> 00:12:55.560 This has been so personally impactful for me that it has helped me be in this for the 226 00:12:55.560 --> 00:12:56.800 long haul. 227 00:12:56.800 --> 00:13:01.920 Because if nothing has meaning, except for what I choose to give meaning, then it means 228 00:13:01.920 --> 00:13:06.280 I can choose to only play games that I find meaningful. 229 00:13:06.280 --> 00:13:11.080 And by extension, I will not fall out of the game or quit because the thing that I'm doing 230 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:14.040 is the thing that I derive the most meaning from. 231 00:13:14.040 --> 00:13:18.760 And so I will be able to outlast longer players in that pursuit. 232 00:13:18.760 --> 00:13:27.480 And what happened is for me, my life becomes a glorification to an ideal that I create. 233 00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:31.880 And so for me, like the content, I will do everything I can to continue to improve on 234 00:13:31.880 --> 00:13:32.880 this. 235 00:13:32.880 --> 00:13:36.520 I'm paying coaches, I'm going through courses to try and make the lessons that I have 236 00:13:36.520 --> 00:13:40.960 more engaging, more entertaining, more educational, have more stories woven into them so that hopefully 237 00:13:40.960 --> 00:13:45.240 I can transfer these things to someone else because that is what I find meaningful, not 238 00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:50.240 because it is eternally meaningful, but just because that ideal to me has meaning. 239 00:13:50.240 --> 00:13:53.240 And so that is something that I believe is eternal. 240 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:58.120 Values are eternal, and values will exist even when everything disappears in the universe. 241 00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:03.320 And so for me, I choose to dedicate my content to those ideals.